


Light Drizzles

by BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, PorterHawk



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: #BeSoftToHorrorBros, #RazzShouldHaveALicenseForThat, #StretchBroughtThatOnHimself, #StretchSuffers, #TeaseSkeletons2020, Adult Humor, Adult Humor in coming, Alternate Universe - Birdtale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Angst and Humor, Asgores cant name shit, Bake Sales, Be Careful What You Wish For, Berries Like To Shop, Best Berries, Betrayal, Birdtale Sans (Undertale), Blue and Razz get along.... mostly, Caretaking, Chats, Chitter has desires and those are skeleboys, Chitter is a fangirl, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus (Undertale), Cuddes with DANGER, Cuddles, Culture Shock, Cute Berry Boys, Edge wants to be soft but has no idea how, Fashion Show Brought To You By Berries, Feels, Fell Monsters Need Comfort 101 with Tutoring, Fell verse THINGS, Fells Have Not Fun Pasts, Fevers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Horrortale Papyrus (Undertale), Horrortale Sans (Undertale), Hug Fell Monsters at your own risk, Humor, IHOP, Jigsaw Parody, Lemon Squares, Lord Hater The Cat, Loss of Trust, Movie: Jigsaw (2017), Nekos eventually because Chitter said so, Peril, Razz Gets A Hug, Razz Gets Confused, Razz Has Flamethrowers And Isn't Afraid To Use Them, Razz Politely Tries Not Swearing. Blue Appreciates It, Razz Recovers Somewhat, Razz Snaps, Razz is adorable And He Hates It, Red is a Lady Pleaser, Red is a rat Bastard, SUITS. ALL THE SUITS, Saw - Freeform, Saw Parody, Sick Sans (Undertale), Stretch Plays With Fire And Gets Burned, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), The tags themselves could be as long as a short-story., Theres some smexy but it is not highly discripted., Toriels appreciate bones, Toriels everywhere, Trust Issues, Two Aces Try Sexual Humor.....Mild Results, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Ut Soriel, Ut Toriel is a stubborn woman., Various Alphys, Various Asgore, Various Papyrus, Various Sans, Various Undyne, fun with toys, helen - Freeform, linda - Freeform, texts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 157,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/pseuds/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorterHawk/pseuds/PorterHawk
Summary: Comment Threads from the work Heavy Rain by PorterHawkVarious topics and fun!
Relationships: All platonic!, Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Maybe just Asgore and Toriel (but WHICH ones?), That’s the only legit ship here
Comments: 114
Kudos: 49





	1. Bake King

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PorterHawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorterHawk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Heavy Rain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25496011) by [PorterHawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorterHawk/pseuds/PorterHawk). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Chapter 7

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Holy crap pta swapfell style......... omg

***  
PorterHawk  
Prepare your eyeballs cuz this shits about to get real ;P

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
.....it already feels real

***  
PorterHawk  
Not until Razz insults Helen’s lemon bars. THEN it's real ;P

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: Who is trying to poison the children??? These yellow squares almost have intent to HURT they are so bad.

***  
PorterHawk  
XD

Razz: ”Jesus Christ Helen! What did you make these with?!”

Helen: ”oh, you know. Sugar, lemon extract, and lots of LOVE!”

.....

Razz: ”...I think these just took a few months off my life, and I wish that was sarcasm...”

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: Damn i think you have more LOVE in these hell bricks than the entire Underground did.

***  
PorterHawk  
XD Good thing Helen wasn’t the one to fall, am I right? ;P

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: .... how many pastries have you tortured and murdered like this? Hell, you could kill a monster with these! If this were the Underground I would have had to arrest you.

***  
PorterHawk  
And thus it continues XD

*Razz stands with his eyelights out and the newest abomination in his hand.*

Razz: And here I thought Helen’s lemon squares were the worst thing I’ve ever tasted... but this!

*Megalovania starts playing softly. He holds up the pastry.*

Razz: Really Linda?! You brought PEANUT BUTTER bars to this bake sale! You know two kids in the class have allergies! You were telling us all to be mindful only for you to “forget?” NO! And worse of all they’re dry as balls! Who would invest in this shit?!

*Proceeds to terminate the whole plate with with his blaster.*

Razz: Don’t even start Linda! THAT was to protect the ALLERGIC CHILDREN! Linda you are a swine!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ...  
Slim: .... did you just cleanse the Bakesale table with fire? Holy shit.  
Razz: Fuck this I will fucking bake better than this.

***  
PorterHawk  
*Later after a massive baking session led by one skeleton and his cheer squad bro and pets. Final earnings from the bake sale are counted up.*

Toriel: My goodness, I can’t believe we sold everything! This is the most we’ve ever made from one bake sale! How did you all manage this?

Razz: HAH! Suck it Linda! Your baking SUCKS! *Keels over from pure exhaustion.*

*Slim doesn’t know if he should drag Razz home, or let him sleep it off in a corner.*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*All Razz’s fire buddies showed up for snacks.*  
*He made cheesecake bars (like buttercake but better) oreo balls, buckeyes, and cupcakes. Poor Razz stayed up all night.*

***  
PorterHawk  
XD

*The fire department dudes bought everything that was left on the table right before it ended. Razz got the next day off work and a hedge cut by Asgore in his honour. Meanwhile, Razz is still insulting the PTA in his sleep.*

Razz: ... shadupp Helen you suck... *snore* ... Linda your ideas are shit.... *snore*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*Razz totally is the king of the bake sale. Got his own special lawnchair and everything.*

***  
PorterHawk  
*He may not be the baking king we expect, but the one we needed. All hail the baking king XP*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*One of the kids even made him a paper crown. BAKE-KING.*  
*His brother can't help but laugh at the pun.*

***  
PorterHawk  
(๐॔˃̶ᗜ˂̶๐॓)

(I’m dead. This comment thread has killed me with laughter. Razz is super bitter about the pun too but won’t say anything so he doesn’t hurt the children’s feelings.)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Slim: ... pfft.  
Razz: .. Thank. You. Small. Human. Child.  
Child: You’re the best Bake King ever! *Innocent smile.*  
Slim: .... pfffffft. Nyeh!

***  
PorterHawk  
Razz: Pap so help me I will pull your face through your tailbone!

*Chara gives the biggest shit eating grin from the shadows (they convinced the kids to call him “bake king”)*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*Even the school parents call him the bake king.*


	2. Dammit Helen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Chapter 8

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(DAMMIT HELEN SANS ONLY HAS SO LONG FOR HIS BROTHER AND THOSE LEMON BARS KNOCK THAT TIME DOWN.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(It’s all part of the bigger conspiracy. She is trying to poison the BAKE KING XP)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(That racist bitch. Sans likes the lazy parents that buy store goods for the table. Machines can't put intent to hurt in a cupcake.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(He's still not sure how she would add love to a pastry. Does she cook it while imagining hate and murder? Or does she literally slaughter cupcakes. It gives Razz nightmares to think about...)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(I could see Razz staring at a pastey.... just dumbfounded.)

***  
PorterHawk  
*Razz staring at the thing like an uncooperative prisoner.*

Razz: I don’t know how yet, but I WILL figure out your secrets.

*Slams hand onto table.*

Razz: I always find what I need!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Razz is half convinced that the Royal Guard could have used these pastries as a torture method.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(He totally would have done it too XD)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*..... Razz steals a tray next... meeting... you never know when you will need torture tools.*

***  
PorterHawk  
XD


	3. Razz Attempts to Play Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Chapter 10. This one always makes me laugh.

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*Toriel, starts mothering Razz.*  
Razz: ... what the hell is a mother?

***  
PorterHawk  
Toriel: Let me know if you need anything at all. In the meantime, have some cookies.

Razz: ... why are you giving me these? Is this a test? Are these poisoned?

*Asgore comes in with a baseball.*

Asgore: Care to join me for a game of catch?

Razz: You meant training, right?

Asgore: No? I throw the ball, you catch it and throw it back. A very friendly game.

*Razz walks into a corner and has a mini existential crisis. Their behavior makes zero sense to the poor guy.*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ... you want me to kill someone with this? *Holds bat up.*  
Asgore: ... no. Just hit the ball when I toss it to you. *Tosses ball.*  
Razz: *Punches the ball across the field.* .... did I do it, Your Majesty?

***  
PorterHawk  
*Asgore realizes he’ll never find that ball again.*

Asgore: Let’s try something else. *Pulls out an American Football.* I’ll throw this ball instead, and you catch it before it hits the ground.

Razz: Okay. That seems pretty straight forward.

Asgore: Go long! *Throws the ball far across the field, Razz summoning a bone sword and yeeting it to pierce right through the ball and throwing it off trajectory, leaping into the air and grabbing the stray falling ball. He lands on his feet.*

Razz: Was that right Your Highness? I feel like I did it correctly this time.

*Asgore is just making a mental note of the balls he will need to replace.*

Asgore: Have you never played catch before?

Razz: Could you define “catch” and “play” when used in the same sentence? I don’t think I follow.

Asgore: Oh bless this child before he kills someone.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ... who am I killing now?  
Asgore: ... no one. So have you ever... played?  
Razz: .... that thing weak children do before dying?  
Asgore: .... what.  
Razz: ....... was that wrong?

***  
PorterHawk  
Asgore: Play isn’t meant to be a bad thing Sans. It helps children develop creativity and social skills. It’s meant to be pleasant.  
Razz: As I said, the thing only weak children do if they want to get themselves killed. It’s the same thing.  
Asgore: *Tryingto figure out what he missed while locked up in the ruins.* No. It’s not.  
Razz: Well that can’t be right. My Father said the only time you should be feeling proper enjoyment is when torturing your enemies and asserting dominance through atrocities and hard language.  
Asgore: .... what?  
Razz: *Confused by his tone.* What?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: .... um. You know... killing your genetic siblings in a contest for both the privilege to call your creator father and the privilege to live? The ones who played died. Speaking of, I wonder how many children Chara will have to fight? I, of course, will help them train the lethal skills if needed. It was only my father’s deterioration that I got Papyrus out.  
Asgore: *Pales.* What?  
Razz: ..... is... is that not how you’re raising Chara?

***  
PorterHawk  
Asgore: *Extremely pale.* So you are telling me you were born in The Lab and told to kill your siblings for the chance to live, followed by immediatly going into training to succeed your father as Royal Guard Captain... after which you immediately gained guardianship of your brother and acted as a parental figure?  
Razz: That is correct.  
Asgore: And... did you raise Papyrus the same way your father raised you?  
Razz: Well no... he didn't have any siblings to battle against so I skipped much of the lethal training until he was older. I suppose he got to ‘play’ a bit more as you put it.  
Asgore: Oh thank Christ.  
Razz: I don’t understand, is this not the norm?  
Asgore: No!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ... I thought it might be the play I allowed that made it harder for Papyrus... or the fact he killed so late...  
Asgore: ..... bubble wrap. I need bubble wrap

***  
PorterHawk  
Razz: Why bubble wrap?  
Asgore: Because I need to teach you what a real childhood is!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Asgore: ... what do you do with a plushie?  
Razz: You stab it of course, in where the different vulnerabilities of rabbit, cat, and bear monsters have. It’s practice.

***  
PorterHawk  
Asgore: Okay Sans, how does this toy work?  
Razz: I believe it’s a trivia tool. Whichever the arrow is pointing at is the animal you must describe. Their eating habits, hunting techniques, if applicable. Some monster behaviors reflect their animal counterparts if they have any.  
*Asgore, with a deadpan face, pulls the lever of the side. It spins the arrow and lands on the cow before speaking.*  
Toy: The cow goes, MOOOOO!!!  
Razz: ....  
Asgore: ....  
Razz: And why is my explanation worse then what it actually does?

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ... that is an inadequate teaching tool. where's the shocking mechanism? The risk? *Gasp*... is it a tool to learn to sound stupid to get under a monsters guard?  
Asgore: ... Sans. Sit down. Eat these cookies. Here’s a blanket. I need you to eat your cookies okay?

***  
PorterHawk  
Asgore: Sans, I’m going to teach you something very important. It does not involve stabbing or name calling or murder, and I think it’s something you need to hear.  
Razz: And that would be?  
*Asgore pulls him into a hug.*  
Asgore: *Parental praise and affection.* I am proud of you Sans, regardless of the horrible things your sadistic father taught you. You are important to me.  
*Razz is waiting to be slapped or put down soon after, but it never happens. He’s tearing up a bit.*  
Razz: w-why do I feel so... warm and fuzzy?  
Asgore: Don’t question it. Just accept it.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ... is this some new subduing technique?.... it’s working.

***  
PorterHawk  
*Razz calls Slim’s phone.*  
Slim: What’s up bro?  
Razz: Do you want to go to Disney World?  
Slim:... why?  
Razz: Because Asgore is taking his family and says we need to go so we can experience true “childlike wonder.” He... also said we don’t have a choice and we need to wear matching shirts with them.  
Slim: Did Toriel have anything to say about this?  
Razz: The matching shirts were her idea....

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: This “Disney World” must be dangerous if they need us to go in civilian clothes to be unmarked guards.  
Slim: ... I dont think thats it...


	4. Razz Attempts Socialization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Chapter 11, this one is huge and will probably be a few chapters. takes place in a undetermined future time, just a bit into the future. Events stray quite a bit for the original “Heavy Rain” story starting at chapter 11.

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Sans is like a glass bottle in the ocean.  
Shattered at a young age and time weathering down the sharp edges, still able to break further and be ground into dust.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(That's actually a really beautiful comparison. I really like that one.)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Hopefully he can be made into sea glass one day.... they say it takes 30 years to make.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(... and he’s 30-ish in this story ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡)

(We’ll see if he can become beautiful and rounded one day.)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Now I just see a pudgy berry Razz.)

***  
PorterHawk  
*Eric Cartmen with Razz’s face.*

“I’m not pudgy! I’m big boned!!!!”

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Slim: ..... bro. ....suuuure. That lady at the supermarket was probably just confused.  
Razz: ...... I am a grown skeleton. Not a kid. How dare that woman ask if kid skeletons have baby fat!  
Slim: ..... *Wisely just agrees with his brother.*

***  
PorterHawk  
Razz: I’m not even THAT SHORT! 5 foot 3 inches is not that short! I just hang out with a lot of very tall people!

*Slim, thinking how his brother is rounding up a bit in the height thing, but not saying anything.*

Slim: Wait. If you hang out with really tall people though, wouldn’t that make you short by comparison?

Razz: ... one more word and I will pile drive you through the checkout counter.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Underswap) (Now I am just imagining how Razz would take Slim using him as a arm rest like the Underswap bros have done.)

***  
PorterHawk  
(The Slim in this story using him as one? Nope, you couldn’t pay him to, cuz he already knows how dead he would be lol. For Slim to do it especially would just be a major blow to Razz’s pride, and he doesn’t want Razz to be THAT upset.)

(We’d need to sub him out for a bolder skeleton like Stretch XD)

In this scenario I’m thinking:

Stretch: Hey Lil’ Edgelord. *Saunters up behind him while Razz is at the stove.*

Razz: *Irritated sigh.* I swear to Toriel if you call me that one more time I- what are you doing?!

*Stretch put his arm on top of Razz’s shoulder and was leaning on it.*

Stretch: Checking out how the foods comin’ along. I’m starv-

Razz: YOU’RE ARM!!!!

Stretch: Well I would have used your head if ya weren’t leaning forward- WAHHHHH!

*Cut to Blue gardening out front with Slim helping carry pots over. They hear the scream just in time to see Stretch flying out the open kitchen window at high speeds.*

Blue: PAPY!

*Blue moves a little to the left, getting smashed with Stretch’s body before he can grab him with magic. They both tumble back through the dirt several feet. Slim walks up and just gives Stretch an accusing look.*

Slim: I told you not to.

Blue: W-what the heck did you do?! *Spits out a mouthful of dirt. Stretch sits up, with several flowers dangling from his eye sockets.*

Stretch: What was apparently a mistake.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Pffft!)

Razz: YOU *%$&!  
BLue: LANGUAGE!  
Razz: I’LL BREAK HIS SHINS SO HE CAN NEVER DO IT AGAIN!

***  
PorterHawk  
Blue: Papy! Apologize already! You hurt his feelings!

Stretch: He threw me out a window!!

*Slim trying to hold Razz back before he socks Stretch again.*

Razz: And I’ll do it again you flagpole piece of sh**! Try it one more time and I’ll throw your knee caps down the sewers!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Stretch: My god .... I regret so much.  
Razz: I’LL GRIND YOUR BONES YOU HONEY DRIZZLED CIGARETTE ASH DUMPSTER FIRE!  
Blue: .... THANK YOU FOR NOT SWEARING BUT THAT WAS A BIT FAR.  
Razz: HE WONT GET FAR WHEN I TEAR HIS FEMURS OFF!

***  
PorterHawk  
*After twenty minutes of yelling Razz had worn himself out and stomped back into the house, collapsing face first into the sofa. The others were afraid to step back inside the house.*

Blue: Papy, I expect you to come up with a full page written apology at the very least.

Stretch: Not after that! Did you SEE how he threatened me?!

Blue: You know his height is a sensitive topic! I’m sensitive about it too!

Stretch: But you never threatened to grind my bones to dust and dump them in a latrine!

Slim: Does anyone else smell burning?

*All look to the kitchen window seeing smoke billowing out from the abandoned food.*

Stretch:... imma let the firefighter handle that one. I’m out.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: GOD DANG IT YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! WHAT KIND OF BONE BLEACHING, COUCH ABUSING, CANCER STICK KISSING COWARD DOESNT CHECK THE SMALL AMOUNT OF SMOKE. ALL IT WAS..... WAS DAMN CHEESE BURNING ON THE SKILLET. PUT A LID ON IT AND WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW! DISASTER. AVERTED.  
Stretch: ...is....is he always so sarcastic? That was ver-  
Blue: *Taking notes.* He is very creative. And listens to reasonable requests too! He is trying hard to not swear!  
Stretch: ..... Blue... bro no.

***  
PorterHawk  
*Blue continues to take notes while Razz carries on, encouraging him to teach more of his wisdom.*

Stretch: I can’t believe this is happening.

Slim: That our bros are getting along?

Razz: And furthermore, I think it’s imperative we discipline that dumpster fire in the orange rags! This whole mess could have been prevented if he weren’t so obsessed with pissing me off!

Stretch: You’re the one that took it way too far!!!

Blue: Honestly I expected better of you Papy.

Stretch: Darn it bro don’t agree with him! Where’s the human? We gotta reset this shit pronto!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ..... Blue, it is time to introduce you to non-lethal torture. Brother! The death lemon squares!  
Slim: *Horrified.* Not those!  
Blue: ..... death lemon squares??? Papy stay I wanna know.  
Stretch: What? Did short stack make some pancakes or something? Ooooh so scared.  
Razz: .... I got these new toys from the depths of the baked goods table! I will have you BEGGING FOR MERCY!  
Slim: Bro, please reconsider! We haven't tested-  
Razz: *Gleam in his sockets.* This is the perfect time to test them out.

***  
PorterHawk  
(PFFFFT! That gave me a good laugh this morning XD)

Stretch: This lemon square is pretty dry. What did you say this was made of?

*Razz smilingly like The Grinch while Slim hides his face in his jacket.*

Razz: In Helen’s own words, “Only the finest vinegar and powdered sugar, but I’d definitely say the most important ingredient is-“ *Leans in close to Stretch’s ear hole and whispers.* LOVE.

Stretch: ... W-what? *Sockets wide and entire body stiff.*

Razz: She even says she’s training her kids to put LOVE into every batch.

*Stretch drops the rest of the lemon square and rushes for a bathroom. Blue just watches confused while Razz is on the floor cackling.*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: .... um ... Razz? .... how did you get your laugh to sound so... villainous?  
Razz: IT IS NATURAL-  
Slim: He practiced in the mirror.  
Razz: I DID NOT.  
Blue: ... what did you feed my brother?  
Razz: Only the worst of humanity's hidden torture techniques! Helen's lemon squares!  
Blue: *confused* .... who's Helen???

***  
PorterHawk  
(Off topic I really need to compile thes back and forth and post them on Tumblr. I love this little side stories we are making (as long as you are okay with that?))

*Stretch crawls out of the bathroom after a series of the most disgusting sounds imaginable.*

Razz: Habe you learned your lesson? Or must we continue with the lesson learning?

Stretch: L/lesson learned... now please leave and never come back. *Curls up into the fetal position on his side.*

Razz: Now you are just being dramatic.

Blue: Stars Razz, what kind of sins against nature did Helen bake to cause this reaction?

Razz: The same woman that puts VINEGAR into lemon squares.

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Dude, buddy, these kinda stories are the only kind I have posted on my account Sure thing you care do it!)  


Blue: Wowie, that human is scary then.  
Razz: I defeated her and claimed victory at the bake sale.  
Slim: Yup. A real Bake-King champion.  
Razz & Blue: ..... NO.

***  
PorterHawk  
(All right! XD this will be fun sjdkkdk)

*Stretch crawled his way to the sofa and is currently on his side groaning.*

Stretch: Uuhhhhhhhhhhh....

Blue: I think your lemon bars maybe too potent. *Checking his brother’s head for a fever.*

Razz: Let’s find out. HEY ASH TRAY! Are you ever going to use me as an arm rest again?

Stretch: Aahhhhghhhhhhdhghgg make it stopppppppp....

Razz: That wasn’t an answer!

Stretch: yess.... urrrr for the love of Christ just gooooo... uggggg.

Razz: See! Perfect level of potency!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: WOOWIE! I have never gotten him to respond that fast! Can you teach me more?!? *Starry eyelights.*  
Razz: I can teach you how I trained recruits back home!  
Blue: really!?!  
Stretch: *Yelling into the couch.* PLEASE DON'T. AT ALL  
Slim: .... *pats Stretch's shoulder, pity filled pats*  
Razz: I have some teaching aids in my things. .....*Examined Blue.* I think you would like the crop more than the whip.  
Stretch: *More couch muffled groans.*  
Blue: Wow! What next?  
Razz: ..... you have a training ground right?

***  
PorterHawk  
(This took a whole different turn from what I was expecting, but I think i came up with a follow up XDDD)

*Several hours after Razz and Blue left for their special training, Stretch is having a crisis with Slim giving him emotional support.*

Stretch: I don’t understand where I went wrong.

Slim: W-when I told you not to insult my bro’s height, but you did anyway?

Stretch: I didn’t think he’d go this far!

Slim: Never underestimate my bro.

*Front door is kicked open, Razz marching in, stepping aside so Blue can march in right after.*

Blue: PAPY- I-I MEAN.... stars should I really say this? It’s so mean.

Razz: If you want fast results, you have to be firm! Don’t let him walk all over you!

Blue: Right! LISTEN YOU... CARROT CAKE THAT’s SLIGHTLY OUT OF CODE!

Stretch: *About ready to face a heart attack.* Whst did you do to him?!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Blue: AL-ALRIGHT YOU CH-CHEETO! PICK UP THE SOCK!  
Stretch: *Dumbfounded.* Bro?!?  
Blue: I WILL S- Razz this seems extreme...  
Razz: You have to have real consequence! I wanted you to do more... but what we agreed on is good enough for a beginner.  
Blue: I WILL STEAL ALL YOUR HONEY IF YOU DON'T PICK IT UP. AND RAZZ WILL SHOW ME HOW TO RUN YOU THOUGH A GAUNTLET! PICK UP THE SOCK!  
Razz: *Evil eye gleam.* Pleeeeeeease... choose the fun option.  
Slim: ... did you help update the-  
Razz: I of course set up some additions to the gauntlet!  
Slim: Stretch just do what they ask.  
Stretch: The sock is a true monument though....  
Blue: PICK IT UP!

***  
PorterHawk  
*Stretch is currently standing at the beginning of a massive, two mile long obstacle course full of death traps, a tank full of sharks and flamethrowers. A few chainsaws come out of the floor right near the beginning. Slim is on the sidelines facepalming, Razz is grinning from socket to a socket while Blue is sweating nervously. Razz also put a tracking collar around Stretch’s ankle so he can’t teleport and hide.*

Stretch: Can... can I pick the sock option now please?

Razz: TOO LATE!

Blue: Maybe we can just go home and let him pick up the sock? I already hid the honey-

Razz: UNLESS HE HAS REAL CONSEQUENCES HE WILL NEVER LEARN. ITS HOW I WHIPPED MY GUARDSMEN INTO SHAPE, AND IT HAD A 100% SUCCESS RATE!

Stretch: What about the ones that didn’t survive-

Razz: GET MOVING WORM!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
*Stretch is down from the 200m hurdle sprint. Long legs didn't save him.*  
Razz: Even the tiniest child from my universe would have at least made it through the sprint section out of pure spite!  
Stretch: I'm not made of spite and just let me pick up the sock!  
Blue: *Starry eyelights huge.* Razz I can't believe it worked this well and fast! This is amazing-  
Razz: *Grabs Stretch’s hood.* You will complete this course if I have to drag you through hell to do it.

***  
PorterHawk  
(“Out of spite” XDDDDD)

*It’s sunset, Stretch finally crawling across the finish line, covered in mud and clothing ripped in multiple places.*

Blue: ALRIGHT PAPY! I’m so - I-I MEAN I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON!

Stretch: *Curls up into the fetal position with a thousand yard stare.*

Razz: I swear if you do that when we get back to the house instead of picking up that sock I will drag you through the course again!!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: *Huffs and poses.* Mental and physical torment is no excuse for not picking up the sock now! You have 5 minutes or we can try the course again! This time in the dark!  
Stretch: All the stars in the sky! Don't do that!  
Blye: Razz that seems a little much...  
Razz: *Evil laugh and a more dramatic pose.* If I can get moldsmals to get in shape then you will be no problem!  
Slim: *Clapping for his brother.* Yep. Just like how the recruits were taught.

***  
PorterHawk  
*Stretch shortcuts to the house not wanting to take more then five minutes, only to realize there is a problem. He went too fast and was stuck in a wall, torso on the side with the sock and butt in the kitchen. He struggles, then tries reaching for the sock. It’s a few centimeters out of reach.*

Stretch: N-now that’s not fair! THAT’S NOT FAIR! WHYYYYYY????!!!!

*He’sready to cry. Or just fall asleep right then and there. It’s 50/50 at this point.*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: ....  
Blue:.....  
Slim: .....pfft.  
Stretch: ....I.... really tried to get the sock. Now I am one with the wall. It has been pretty supportive.  
Razz: ...  
Blue: .....  
Slim: Nyeheheheheheh.*Hiding his giggles.*  
Razz: Blue.... your brother is worse off than I thought. I will need my best tools.

***  
PorterHawk  
(And now to bring this full circle XP)

*Blue is scratching his chin trying to figure out how he's trapped.*

Blue: Honestly Papy I have no idea how to get you out. We may need to break the wall-

Razz: Wait. Let's not do that just yet.

*Everyone looks at him confused.*

Blue: Razz we can't leave him in there!

*Razz leans in and whispers something to Blue, his eyelights turning to stars at the realization. Stretch is looking to Slim for answers but he just shrugs. Suddenly Blue walks into the kitchen while Razz pulls his ringing phone out and answers.

Razz: HELLO! YES THIS IS SANS, ELDEST AND TALLEST SKELETON IN THE HOUSE.

*He rests his shoulder on the back of Stretch’s head and leaned while holding the phone with the other.*

Stretch: Okay now this is just uncalled for-

Blue: HELLO SANS! THIS IS THE OTHER OLDEST AND TALLEST SKELETON IN THE HOUSE! BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!

*Blue uses Stretch’s rear as his own armrest. Slim is just trying to contain his cackling. After several long seconds, Stretch he eventually shrugs.*

Stretch: I think they call this being stuck between a rock and a hard place, though I guess the hard place is stuck between me-

*Razz shoves more weight on his shoulders.*

Razz: NO HONEY STAIN, THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL KARMA!!!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Ok this is so damn adorable. I love the Razz and Blue duo so much. This is really cute and I can't handle)

*Two hours later....*  
Razz: THAT IS QUITE THE STORY OTHER ELDEST AND TALLEST SANS. QUITE INSPIRATIONAL. HAVE YOU-  
Stretch: *SNORE*  
Razz: ....  
Blue:....  
Razz: *Jabs a bit at Stretch.*  
Stretch: *Continued sleeping.*  
Razz: BLUE YOU WONT BELIEVE THE DISRESPECT MY ARM REST JUST GAVE ME.

*Slim walks over to Razz with some drywall tools. The small hand saw will probably do it.*

***  
PorterHawk  
(Dude this thing is becoming ridiculously long with the back and forth but the Razz and Blue stuff is just too amazing XDDD)

Razz: Hold on, I need to get a few more photos for the mantle.  
Slim: We don’t have a mantle.  
Razz: The wall then! *Takes several selfies before exchanging his phone for the hand saw.*  
Slim: w-wait! I didn’t mean to cut there!  
*Razz has it lined up somewhere along Stretch’s vertebrae about to make the first cut.*  
Razz: Well you don’t expect me to damage the wall, do you? It’s the far more valuable thing here. Besides, he could stand to lose an inch or seven.  
Slim: L-look, I know you’re a vindictive ass sometimes but this is going too far.  
Razz: I AM NOT VINDICTIVE!  
Slim: ......  
Razz: .........  
Slim: ........  
Stretch: *Snores.*  
Razz: .... well, I’m not THAT vindictive.  
Slim: Sans-  
Razz: Fine then! Just tell Blue to get over here before I start hacking!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(You made me snort dear god)  
Blue: Ummm, Razz? Why are there black marker lines on my brother’s vertebrae?  
Razz: You have very nice walls. High quality.

***  
PorterHawk  
(“Very nice walls. High quality.” I’m dying dear god I can’t XDDDD)

(I thoughts that’s where you were going with it, since it’s impossible to actually cut into a wall with a straight saw blade (unless you meant a round buzz saw, or they hammered a hole first XP)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(Oh, my dad has this ... almost knife like hand saw. Forget its not a usual one)

Razz: I just don't see why we would damage your walls, weren't you renting this place?  
Blue: .... well, rent to own... and the walls are nice... I think my brother is at least worth more than the walls.  
Razz: I think he severed some wiring too. The light switch it just above him.  
Blue: .... Razz I prefer having a whole brother. And I think the disaster of my brother’s room has already scared the owners.

***  
PorterHawk  
(Ohhhh XD I understand what you meant now lol.)

Razz: Surely, whatever your brother did to his bedroom wouldn’t compare to the massive hole getting your brother out would cause. This would certainly send them running.  
Stretch: *Snores.*  
Blue: .... you underestimate the amount of bullshit my brother is capable of conjuring. You know the antics Comic gets into? It’s like that, but with that shady “younger sibling that can steal your stuff and get away with murder” mixed in that adds extra insanity. I have no idea where he digs up half the stuff he owns.  
Razz: And now you’re just being dramatic.  
*Blue just looks off with a thousand yard stare obviously having a flashback.*

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: *Blinks* ..... his room can't be that bad!  
Blue: I refuse to go in there at all.  
Razz: ..... it- it can't be.  
Slim: .... I am curious.....  
Blue: You won't like it. At all.  
Razz: ..... while he is stuck...... we can look?  
Blue: Bad idea.

***  
PorterHawk  
(Now I’m curious what you had in mind for his room djdhshsk)

*Slim And Razz ascend the staircase with Blue hanging onto their ankles. He’s trying to drag them back but failing*  
Blue: PLEASE DON’T UNLEASH THE MONSTROSITY BEHIND THAT DOOR!  
Razz: Seriously! Slim is the Fellverse alternate of your brother and despite the eight legged beast from hell and the Mount Everest of sock piles it’s nothing special!  
Slim: You... you kind of have me too curious to resist  
Blue: YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE! BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS AFTER IS NOT MY FAULT!  
Razz: Again, how bad could it be?  
*Opens the door, eyelights going out and jaw dropping.*  
Razz: HOW IS THERE A TORNADO ON THE CEILING?!  
Slim: ... out of all the shit in here that SERIOUSLY the thing you focus on?  
(Lot of smelling mistakes to correct here, yeesh)

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
(I too deal with smelling mistakes.)

*There is a pile of honey bottles in the corner, half way up the wall. There is laundry that very very clearly has too many stains and NEEDS to be cleaned, overfilling the basket. There was wrappers in the tornado, too many to count. Another corner has a sock pile. The mattress is on the floor with some ...... sticky sheets? There is a bench press that seems to be unused as well. Except for displaying used clothing. ..... it smells sweet with a underlayer of .... musk? Something NOT good at all.*

Razz might throw up.

***  
PorterHawk  
(..... I just noticed the smelling thing XD always give your autocorrect a good sniff)

Razz: .........  
Slim: Uhhhhh, bro? I bet you’re glad I’m not this bad, right... right?  
*Razz steps over Blue giving him one long disapproving look, making his way to the machine and vanishing in it. Blue feels absolutely terrible at getting such a harsh look from his double, and Slim rubs his back reassuringly. Ten minutes later the machine kicks back to life, Razz marching up the stairs in a hazmat suit and a familiar contraption on his back.*  
Slim: Sans No!  
*Razz unleashes the flames of hell into the bedroom. Slim and Blue can only look on in horror and awe as he completely cleanses the room with a contained fire. Soon there is nothing left in the room but piles of ashes, burnt carpet and smoke stained walls.*  
Slim: Holy shit you gave it the bake sale treatment.  
*Blue faints, Slim barely catching him in time.*  
Razz: F**k this shit I will make this room a decent living area if it kills me. Blue’s too week to do it.  
Slim: I think you overstepped-  
Razz: SILENCE!

***  
BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount  
Razz: .... gather the berry up! It is time... to go get some stuff for this horrendous room. ..... he can wake up on the way. I will leave his waste of space brother a sticky note.


	5. Skeletal Renovations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Continuation of Chapter 11's thread From discord! Its still Hawk and Wyrm, just slightly different names. Picks up Right after the last chapter.

HomeHawk12  
Blue:....... ugh. *Blinks his sockets open seeing he was laying in a shopping cart, Razz having his own separate one. *  
Razz: Oh good! I need to know which tile your brother would prefer! *Holds a black one and a purple one in front of him.*  
Blue: Wait... why tile?  
Razz: For his new bedroom obviously. We aren’t replacing the old carpet with new stuff if he’s just going to soak honey all over it. So I have brilliantly decided a linoleum flooring with tile walls will be best! Easier to hose off that way. So what color?  
Blue: Where the heck are we?!  
Slim: Walmart. IKEA didn’t sell flooring.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... is... is my-  
Razz: We left him in the wall. I left a manual for him to read if he wakes.  
Blue: *Blinks sleepily.* What?  
Slim: ... I think he will be fine.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Probably a self help manual XDDDD)

Blue: Wait, you actually torched my brother’s room! How could you?!  
Razz: Oh please. All the honey in the walls and flooring would have attracted a swarm of insects in a few months, and the entire frame would have been eaten. In retrospect I saved your house.  
Slim: Just saying now I still think he went too far-  
Razz: SHUT UP AND PICK A TILE COLOUR ALREADY!!!  


*Meanwhile at the Swap house:*  
Stretch: Yawn... *Looks around groggily.* Where did everyone go?  
*Looks down to see a post it note attached to a thousand page self help guide.*  
Stretch: .... “You’re welcome for saving your house you trash panda...” Why does it smell like burnt honey in here?  
*Shrugs and goes back to sleep.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ... Blue imagine all the roaches, the flies! The wasps! The ants! Your brother has low HP right? What would a vicious ant bite or wasp sting DO to him?  
Blue: Oh...oh STARS. I DIDN’T THINK OF THAT! I- I NEED TO CALL A PEST CONTROL! TO MAKE SURE HE HASN’T ALREADY INVITED THEM IN!  
Slim: ........ Stretch is gonna like this....  
Razz: BLUE! TILE! COLOR!  
Blue: Um! Um! Something I can see honey on? So I can make sure to find it!  
Razz: Brother please, sarcasm noted. Pale ivory or black steel color?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Pffft I can’t I almost coughed up my water on Slim’s line)

Blue: Uhhh.... pale ivory? Our house is themed for lighter colors.  
Razz: Finally! And it will look great with this vinyl floor sheet I picked out! *Holds up a sample piece of the fake wood.*  
Razz: Rustic Cypress is a beautiful wood color.  
Slim: ... i gotta start photographing this. *Snaps a few photos and forwards them to Comic with several lols.*  
Razz: Silence! We have almost everything we need!  
Slim: Sorry, what else is left though?  
Razz: Ceiling paint brother. Ceiling paint.  
Slim: You can’t reach the ceiling though-  
Razz: I WILL END YOU!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: THERE ARE LADDERS. THERE IS MAGIC. THERE ARE LONG HANDLED PAINT ROLLERS.  
Blue: I AGREE!  
Slim: Sorry, sorry... lets get your fancy fake wood.  
*Slim starts texting.*  
\- slim jim: guys Stretch is getting a forced room make over.  
\- snas: duuude rip  
\- sharkbite: hahahahahah! That honey hole got blown up  
\- slim jim: actually Razz used a flamethrower.  
\- sharkbite: Hahahhaha!  
-snas: wait really?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Them nicknames though XD)

-snas: I’m surprised Stretch didn’t stop him from torching it. Is he passed out drunk at muffet’s?  
-slim jim: he’s actually stuck in the living room wall right now. We were gonna break him out, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
-shark bite: HAHAHAHAHA! That idiot teleported into a wall! F**ing dumbass! Rip

BLUE: OH! Grab the wall art that looks like cars! Papy loves old style cars!  
Razz: OKOK! We should really be focused on a bed frame though.  
Blue: But Papy always throws his honey bottles under the bed if he has the option...  
Razz: Fair point. Simple mattress it is then, though futon beds ARE washable...

Slim back to texting  
-slim jim: guys this is gonna be a disaster I can’t right now.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Hm. Blue should we get him a mattress cover? Like those for small untrained children? Easy to clean off honey if he refuses to not drink it in bed.  
Blue: RAZZ THAT IS A GREAT IDEA! Let's get this spillproof water bottle! For outtings!  
Slim: Maybe you should color match everything.  
Blue: *star sockets!* SLIM THAT IS AN AMAZING IDEA!

*Text ..... the Lazy Bones Chat*  
\- slim jim: blue is color matching a water bottle to a mattress cover rn. I think stretch is gonna have the most child proof room now. With fancy wood vinyl. Or whatever.  
\- snas: oof. Why isn't he on here tho? If he's stuck?  
\- slim jim: his phone is in his short’s pocket on the other side of the wall. My bro left a self help manual for him to entertain himself  
\- sharkbite: holy shit man! That’s fucking brutal!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: LOOK GUYS! I FOUND A LAVA LAMP THAT MATCHES THE BED COVER!  
Razz: There are even matching pillow covers. How lovely. *smirks deviously*  
Blue: You also burned all of Papy’s clothing, yeah? He only has what he’s wearing now.  
Razz: ... we’ll have to go to Goodwill for that. I don’t have the money.  
BLUE: I DO!!!

*The Chat....*  
-slim jim: guys Stretch is getting a new wardrobe too. Blue’s paying once we leave IKEA.  
-Snas: I’m surprised he payed for this much already.  
-slim jim: he is VERY dedicated to this cause.  
-shark bite: what the hell did the idiot do?  
-slim jim: he used my bro as an armrest.  
-shark bite: BWAHAHAHAHA!  
-snas: that’s his own fault then.  
-slim jim: then he wouldn’t pick up the sock in the living room.  
-shark bite: .... nobody touches the sock. That thing is sacred.  
-snas: bro....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Eyelights huge*... Blue there is a sale on suits. Seventy percent off. The suits!  
Blue: OH MY STARS. WE HAVE TO GO! THEN WE CAN LOOK AT ACTUAL POLOS TO MATCH HIS KHAKIS!  
Razz: *Eyelights flicker almost to stars* .... Blue..... there’s.....there's three pieces! And a monster section! For adjustments! And ties!  
Blue: gasp and papy can't stop me!  
Slim: .... and I just......*resigned huff* am about the same size and body.... as Stretch.....

*Text*  
\- slim jim: help they are making me stand in for stretch at this suit sale. They are making me try it all.  
\- snas: .... god thats awful  
\- sharkbite: .... I am crying of laughter. And I actually feel sorry fer your ass there.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz is so overjoyed I can’t. He’s ALMOST to stars XD)

Razz: STAND A BIT ON YOUR TOES! Stretch has two inches on you!  
Slim: .... I wanna retreat back to my phone-  
Razz: NOT UNTIL WE SIZE A SUIT FOR YOU AND STRETCH!  
Blue: HOW DO I LOOK GUYS!? *He steps out in a nice white suit with a blue shirt underneath and a bow tie.*  
Razz: You look quite elegant. I’m impressed.  
Blue: I found some really nice eggplant colored button ups too!  
Razz: Slim don’t move I’ll be right back!  
*Slim stands there ready to cry*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Razz! Razz!!! Oh my stars! I found. DARK STEEL GRAY. AND A PLUM SHIRT TO MATCH! YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT!  
Razz: *Reverent look at the suit* It’s beautiful...gasp it comes in my size! *carefully brushes his claws over the suit.*  
Slim: C-can I at least get off my toe tips?!? *is trying to stay up*  
Blue: RAZZ LOOK! there's an eggplant bowtie! It would pair well!!!  
Razz: I think for Stretch the mimosa color shirt with the pale gray suit would be best. I want to try this one!  
Slim : *Flops into a chair*

Chat:  
\- slim jim: they found one for stretch and I get a break from standing tip toe to let my bro have a go.  
\- snas: wut they get ol' string bean?  
\- slim jim: pale grey and like a light orange yellow???  
\- sharkbite: I am so glad boss isn't there

*Slim looks up from his phone to see a stunned Razz with starry sockets and a small smile as he looks at the suit he tried on.*

... 

*Slim takes a picture.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(AND THERE IT IS XP)

Blue: OH MY GOODNESS! Do you think Rus and Edge would like suites too?!  
Razz: Honestly this black one with the red trim would look good on Edge... I’m thinking white with red trim for Rus. And this scarlet button up. Oh! These shirts come in wine red too!  
Blue: Should we call them? Or get our Giftmas shopping done early?  
Razz: ... SLIM GET BACK UP HERE!

Chat:  
-slim Jim: noooooo they are buying suites for both of your bothers!!!  
-shark bite: that’s rough, glad they aren’t calling them over at least.  
-slim Jim: you’re not the one that has to be on your tiptoes for both!  
-snas: what’s the difference this time? My bro is the same height as Stretch. Isn’t Edge your height?  
-Slimjim- he’s got an inch on me DX  
-shark bite: RIP  
-slimjim: at least I got this photo to make it somewhat better. *shares happy Razz pic.*  
-Shark bite: BWAHAHAHAHA!  
-snas: I didn’t know your bro could do stars.  
-Slimjim: honestly, neither did I

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god these happy shopper skeleboys. So damn sweet. Ahhhhhh. Like look at themmmm)  


Slim: Bro please no!  
Razz: There won't be another sale like this before Giftmas! At all! We have to do it now!  
Slim: Oh stars abooooove.  
Blue: OH MY T O R I E L. RAAAAAAZZ! RAZZ LOOOK! A SOFT BLACK FEDORA WITH WINE RIBBON ON IT! EDGE WOULD ROCK IT.  
Razz: *Has been too excited to keep up his haunty and high attitude* Yes. Yes. YES. That is perfect! There was a wine glass pin here somewhere!  
Slim: .... *eases down-*  
Razz: BROTHER don’t wrinkle that suit i almost found that pin!  
Blue: *Places fedora on Slim* ..... WOWSERS! EDGE WOULD LOOK SHARP IN THIS!!!  
Slim: Pffffftt! Nyeheheheheh  
Blue: *Glare* Your laughter better not hurt the suit.  
Razz: .... is this a skull pin???  
Blue: .... I ... wanna try it? I always liked the dark look on you Razz. Just never thought it looked good on me.  
Razz: .... I saw a navy suit. Maybe with a black shirt? If you want to try it out? Maybe just to say you tried it?  
Blue: .... I don't know..... would it look good on me?  
Slim: Maybe my bro can try on some light stuff. Like a style swap. For fun.

*Chat*  
\- snas: ....should we send someone to rescue stretch?  
\- sharkbite: nah. He’s probably sleeping. Excuse to be lazy.  
\- snas: pretty sure he can’t get to any honey at the moment.  
\- sharkbite: rip. He should not have tried shit with razz, razz is a mean lil fucker when riled up. Be glad he ain't tormenting us.  
\- snas: I guess....

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Shits getting real now. Razz is too elated to be grouchy, and that only happens when he’s drunk XD)

Blue steps out of the dressing room in the dark suite with a black shirt underneath and the skull pin. He wears a matching colored fedora to go with it. Razz steps out of the other room in a grey suite with a lilac button up shirt and grey fedora with lilac ribbon.

Razz: Geeze Blue.  
Blue: OH STARs I KNEW I WOULD LOOK TERRIBLE! I’LL CHANGE RIGHT NOW!  
Razz: Stop that! You look so.... badass.  
Blue: W-Wait, I do?  
Razz: Incredibly so.  
Blue: Mweheheh, thank you. You actually look like quite the gentleman yourself. I think I can make it better though.  
Razz: And how so?  
*Blue grabs a pair of black, round rimmed sunglasses from a rack and a neckband, using it to keep the sunglasses on Razz’s face. He examines himself in the mirror.*  
Razz: I feel like a rich supervillain or something. Like Lex Luther!  
Blue: You look so professional!  
Razz: try a pair for yourself, maybe the Aviators.  
*Blue does as told, giggling at the results.*  
Blue: I don’t even look like me!  
Razz: This is honestly the weirdest thing but i oddly don’t hate it.

Chat:  
-Slimjim: the two are bonding so hard right now I can’t.  
-snas: glad they found something they can both enjoy.  
-Shark bite: I miss the conversation when flamethrowers were involved.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pffffffffft red boyo! Omg OMG. These twoooooooo sooo sooo cute)  


Blue: I have been having a blast!  
Razz: .... none of us fired a blaster???  
Blue: Mweheheheheh! Razz! You're making me laugh! *glasses fall off*  
Razz: *A giggle slips out.* I am enjoying this odd outing even without a fight. It is quite weird.  
Blue: When we get back to my place we can cook too!  
Razz: *Sharp eyelights * ......... your brother would make a great side table.

*Chat*  
\- slim jim: well I think my bro is still pissed at stretch. Wants to use him as a table for when they cook. And is actually enjoying himself. I have never seen him this ..... like soft???  
\- sharkbite: .... can I borrow your flamethrower?  
\- snas: razz? Soft???  
\- slimjim: I kno! Red its my bros flamethrower. Gotta ask him  
\- shrakbite: damn. If I do that I might get suit snatched.  
-snas: still can't believe this picture.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This has turned so wholesome I’m dying from their adorable friendship. I love this shopping excursion)

Blue: PAPY! I FORGOT HE’s STILL STUCK IN THE WALL! HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN SHOPPING???  
Razz: Considering your brother was trapped in the wall at some point last night, and it’s nearly 9 am the next day, you may not like that answer.  
Blue: Do you guys think he’ll be okay for a while longer? We still need to install the new flooring and walls. Plus he’d probably like some casual clothes too...  
Razz: Of course this couldn’t last forever. I think he’ll be fine for another hour or so before we should show our faces again. Besides, I saw some amazing throw rugs on sale in the children’s section.  
Blue: Were they shaped like funny objects!? I didn’t even know this place sold rugs.  
Razz: Apparently yes. Now let’s grab some Giftmas suits for Red and Comic before we move on. I’m thinking pinstripe would look good on both of them.

*Chat:*  
-slimjim: welp, looks like you’re both getting suits too.  
-shark bite: ... fuck  
-Snas: take more pics while you’re at it. My bro will wanna make this a scrapbook  
-slimjim: kk  
-shark bite: I’ll definitely need that flamethrower right after Giftmas then...

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh gooooood God they be cuties)

Razz: ..... no.  
Blue: ..... I feel bad for leaving him for so long.  
Razz: No.  
Blue: It’s kinda perfect.  
Razz: NO.  
Blue: Razz its a honey bear rug.  
Slim: *Is looking at a pancake rug.* Bro ... I think Stretch has been punished enough....  
Razz: .... we did get all those suits... *huff* I won't touch it. It doesn't work with the rest of the stuff!

*Chat:*

\- slim jim: help these two wont stop shopping and being adorable.  
\- sharkbite: blegh.  
\- snas: dude what did you get for us?  
\- slim jim: you think ill risk my bros rage? No way

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD I’ll give a better response in the morning when I’m not falling asleep! The bear rug is too precious I can’t)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Saaaaame)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Okay, you got the stupid rug that doesn’t match anything. What else did we need again?  
Blue: Well, I found these graphic T-shirts I think he’ll love! And no puns on them at all!  
Razz: Is... is that a cat wrapped in a burrito?  
Blue: Taco! It’s a taco cat!  
Slim: Pfffftt!  
Razz: What about this one with the sloth. It says “I’ll do it later.”  
Blue: I don’t know if that’s perfect to get, or if that will just encourage his behavior.  
Razz: OHH THIS ONE WITH THE GRIMM REAPER GLOWS IN THE DARK!  
Blue: REALLY?! I WANNA SEE!!!

*Chat:*< br /> -slim Jim: they found the graphic t-shirts guys.  
-snas: grab one with all the puns!  
-slim Jim: they got some that glow in the dark.  
-shark bite: really? I wanna see!

***  
Bookwyrm  
( ......OH MY GOD)  


Razz: ...... Slim you put that shirt down.  
Slim: .... Bro it says lazybones!  
Razz: It is INDECENT! THAT IS A NAKED SKELETON ON THERE! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY INDECENT SHIRTS!?!  
Blue: My brother would love that shirt. I .... he would love it, but I don't know if I could be seen with him.

*Chat:*  
\- slim jim: ... ok so I grabbed shirts for blue and razz without them seeing. Blues is taco cat...... and razz gets purrito.  
\- snas: nice. Giftmas?  
\- slim jim: ye.  
\- sharkbite: thats gold.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Purrito though XDDDD)

Razz: Stars dang it I can’t believe you’re buying that shirt for him.  
Slim: As I said, he deserves at least one nice thing after the crap you’re putting him through.  
Razz: HE CAN NEVER SUFFER ENOUGH!!!!  
Blue: do you think I should get this jacket for him? He can show off his t-shirts with it.  
Razz: He’ll look like a lumberjack.  
Blue: But it does have a hood.  
Razz: .... pair it with those dark blue skinny jeans and we shall call it good.

*Chat:*  
-Slimjim: guys we’re apparently going the outdoorsman route now.  
-snas: is it bad I kind of like it?  
-shark bite: yes. Yes it is  


(Dude the number of ugly orange jackets on google images is overwhelming XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... he still has his sticky jacket on him right now. At least that jacket is clean.  
Blue: *Nods* Yeah he could stand to wash it more.  
Slim: .... you know you can make lumber jokes if you give him that jacket.  
Razz: Ugh. Don't remind me. ..... I think we got him enough-  
Slim: *Drops three packs of thirty socks each. * :3  
Razz &Blue: SLIM!

chat  
\- slim jim: *pic of socks* I got so many socks for stretch that both berries are screeching.  
\- snas: the socks are sacred.  
\- sharkbite: you should have recorded it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: He may get ONE PACKET OF FIFTEEN SOCKS AND THE SEVEN PACK OF BOXERS WITH PUNS, OR NO UNDERWEAR AT ALL!!!  
Slim: You can’t deny us our socks!  
Razz: THOUGH I CAN FORCE HIM TO GO COMMANDO!!!  
Blue: YOU WILL RETURN THAT PILE OF MONSTROSITIES THIS INSTANT! IT IS A WASTE OF GOOD SOCKS!!!

*Chat:*  
-Slimjim: they threatening to not buy him any underwear if I purchase 90 pairs of socks.  
-snas: oof, that’s a tough choice. I mean not really but still.  
-shark bite: he doesn’t really NEED underwear.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ....brother I will do it. Don't test me.  
Slim: What is underwear to a skeleton anyway? Optional.  
Razz: so help me Slim you better have underwear on.  
Blue: SLIM! Underwear is important! 

*Chat:*  
\- slim jim: got a lecture on the importance of underwear

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Chat:*  
-Slimjim: so they ended up buying all 90 pairs of socks, plus underwear for both me and Stretch.  
-snas: really? I’m surprised they gave in. That doesn’t sound like your bro.  
-Slimjim: me too, but apparently Razz REALLY wanted me to start wearing underwear.

*The loaded car starts passing a parking lot with a clothing donation metal bin. Razz and Blue looked at each other and nodded. Suddenly the car took a 90 degree turn into the lot, Blue performing a donut maneuver while Razz snagged one of the sock bags. He leaned out the passenger window while they were passing the bin and threw it at the box. Slim just stared dumbfounded as it went straight into the slit on the bin’s side. Razz slid back into his seat and the two fist bumped.*

*Back at the Chat:*  
-slimjim: .... guys I think these two are Neo from the Matrix.  
-snas: why?  
-slimjim: you wouldn’t believe me....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: did... d-did you two plan that?  
Razz: YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO ASK QUESTIONS!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz and Blue, so damn cute! Best berries!)

Razz: That’s how you drive!  
Blue: As much as I like motorcycles I am glad Papy talked me into this car. Much better for friends and shopping!  
Slim: *Still stunned*

*Chat:*  
\- slim jim: they just put all but one bag of socks into a charity box. Blue drives like a stunt man.  
\- snas: really? Those poor socks.  
\- sharkbite: THAT goody two shoes? Bad driving? I don't believe you.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Hey, do you think you can do that car trick again?  
Blue: Why? It’s bad on the tires and there is no reason to, unless there are MORE socks you want to donate?  
Slim: I’m good thanks.  
Blue: I am wondering though, do you think the three of us will be enough to fix that room before we break Stretch out? I’ve never laid tile before.  
Razz: I suppose we could call Edge and Rus over. I know Edge is good with electrical, and Rus got into the construction industry recently.

*Chat:*  
-slimjim: your bro is in construction now?  
-snas: started a few weeks ago. Apparently assembling houses is a lot like puzzles.  
-shark bite: I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned someone’s living room into a hedge maze.  
-snas: let's not talk about that Giftmas party!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I forgot wut ut sans name was here!)

Slim: Comic says his bro has been doing construction.  
Blue: Awesome! See if they can come over and help real fast.  
Razz: … have you been texting them this whole time? 

*Chat*  
\- slim jim: shit I got caught texting. Either of your bros up to help out?  
\- snas: rus says he's running right over.  
\- sharkbite: this is the lazy bro chat. Don't let two two in.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Car pulls into the driveway, mattress and whatever else that wouldn’t fit inside strapped to the roof.*  
Razz: Okay. First order of business is to clean the walls and remove the charred carpeting. We are NOT letting Stretch out until we are done. *Gives Slim the side eye.*  
Slim: Whay?  
Razz: You better not tell Stretch what’s going on up there.  
Slim: Don’t you think he should know?  
Razz: HE CAN KNOW WHEN WE ARE DONE!  
Blue: Can we please get the building supplies upstairs before the others get here!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .....what?  
Razz: Can you get into his room and open the window so I can get supplies in there? Or you can shortcut it all in. How else are we going to sneak it in?  
Blue: Oh! It will be like a surprise for my brother!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: .... I was actually gonna take a nap-  
Razz and Blue: NO YOU DON’T!!!  
Slim: Wait, I think I have a solution.  
*Slim walks into the house startling Stretch awake.*  
Stretch: *Yawn.* It’s about time someone showed up. My back is starting to hurt and my butt itches real bad. You know how much it sucks not being able to scratch it?  
Slim: Soooooo.... yeah, sorry in advance. *Throws a pillowcase over Stretch’s face and tightens it with a string.*  
Stretch: ... kinky.  
Slim: Yeah, you really don’t wanna see what happens next.  
*Motions for Blue to head upstairs with several trash bags and vacuum cleaner.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ...brother make sure he doesn't remove it.  
Stretch: .... um. This is a bit too kinky.  
Blue: Papy no! Stop that!  
Stretch: .... um ok. Can I have some honey at least or a sucker?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue and Razz: NOOOO!  
Razz: Did you not READ MY SELF HELP BOOK!!??!!!  
Stretch:..... I skimmed it.  
Razz: WELL TOUGH NUGGETS! THAT WAS THE ONLY ENTERTAINMENT YOU WERE GOING TO GET!  
*Loud whirring noises and bright flashes from the basement.*  
Blue: Must be Rus or Edge then.  
*Rus does several midair backflips out of the basement.*  
Rus: HELLO EVERYONE!  
Blue: Rus it is.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *New person.... that he isn't entirely familiar with.... shields up!* Ah. Yes. Greetings Rus.  
Rus: RAZZ I CANNOT WAIT TO HELP YOU WITH THIS! MAYBE WE CAN DO MY UNIVERSE NEXT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Rus tries to hug him but Razz dodges behind the couch.*  
Razz: Uhhhh, yeah. Maybe we can.  
Rus: *Leans over to Blue feeling worried.* Did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to offend anyone.  
Blue: Don’t worry! He acted like that with Stretch and I when we first met! *Whispers.* I think it’s because Slim said he wasn’t allowed to be mean and he gets confused on how to respond after that…  
Razz: I CAN HEAR YOU!  
Rus: I see.... and why is Stretch trapped with a pillowcase on his head?  
Blue: I’ll explain when we get upstairs. *Opens the bedroom door to Stretch’s room revealing the charred remains and an intruder. Edge is already in there with his personal vacuum cleaner muttering under his breath and sucking up the debri like a mad man.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Ok.... what if the reason Razz seems to really enjoy being with Blue.... is because Blue reminds him of his 'brothers' from his experiment group? You would want an experiment group to be mostly the same if your going for a single variable)  


Edge: Who used a flamethrower without me!?! And just! Left! The char everywhere! .... still better than my brothers room.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(..... oh my god that’s so fricking adorable! Blue reminds him of the identical brothers he had as a young innocent test subject (it’s never gonna be mentioned in the story proper but Razz was designated “S series #013”) so technically there were a minimum of thirteen little baby Razz’s at some point before they all died horribly)  
(The Papyrus’ and lazy Sanses just throw him off so much)  


Blue: Edge? When did you get into the house?  
Edge: *Waving him off.* The minute Red mentioned flamethrowers and Stretch’s room! I can’t believe you traitors had all that fun without me!

***  
Bookwyrm10/09/2020  
( like.... wut are dez weird skeletons??? Dey not like my 10+ brothers, my Papyrus is just special. Wut da heck r u??? ...... OMG AND HE COULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE FROM TALL SKELETONS CUS GAAAASTEEER! )  


Blue: it was Razz’s flamethrower.  
Razz: *A ’Blue why u do this to me?' Look* Yes. Well. This room needed immediate attention.  
Edge: I would appreciate being called over if you do it again.  
Rus: WE CAN DO MY BROTHER NEXT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude this just got so much more sad but I also love it!!! Like he can handle the lazy ones plus Stretch as long as they are WAY over there, but as soon as one of them touches without permission it brings back all those repressed feelings and he loses it. Slim gets the exception button since Razz raises him and watches him grow up, plus he’s a lot slower and more gentle with his motions then Gaster was. Then you get to loud very expressive Edge and Rus and they are always so loud and bombastic and TALL that they resemble his parental abuser and his mind gets stuck between shutting down and freaking out and he can’t just hide behind Slim since that makes him look like a coward)  


Razz: I’ll keep that in mind for next time. *Grabs Blue and drags him out. We will start unloading the car and building supplies if you two want to finish cleanup.  
Rus: CAN DO! I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS!

*Chat:*  
-slimjim: well your brothers showed up.  
-snas: how’s Stretch holding up?  
-Slimjim: they made me tie a pillowcase over his head and now he won’t stop making kink jokes.  
-shark bite: BWAHAHAHAHA! YOU’RE ALL LUNATICS!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razzhas NO FUCKING IDEA how to deal with Rus. The tall, the loud, the nice???)  


Razz: *Deep breath out.* Okay. So let's get this in. I don't want to look at that rug anymore than I have too.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(TOO MUCH NICE! HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO YELL AT THE NICE XD)  


*The upstairs skeletons clear out the bedroom and prep everything to apply the tiles.*  
Blue: And you’re sure you know what you're doing?  
Russ: OF COURSE! I’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A FULL THREE WEEKS NOW!  
Edge: Well the electrical is all fixed so you two can go crazy.  
Rus: So now it’s time to apply the mortar...  
*Razz outside unloading clothes and stuff from the car, hearing an explosion and seeing a crap load of mortar splattering out of Stretch’s window.*  
Rus: We’re okay! This is all part of the process!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... I don't understand that skeleton. *Returns to unpacking- WHAT ARE THESE AWFUL THINGS!?! *Holding a KHAKI THAT HE TOLD SLIM TO PUT DOWN!*

Rus: .....  
Edge: Was that supposed-  
Rus: *Poses* YES!

*Chat*  
\- instretchable: guys slim gave me my phone and let me move my hands into the kink pillowcase. I just finished reading. Guys. What the heck?  
\- snas: buddy what did you expect.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Interstretchable XD)

Blue: So what's next after the adhesive and mortar? *Thry just finished scraping extra mortar from the ceiling and getting it onto the walls.*  
Rus: NOW TO PLACE THE TILES!!!! AND WE USE THESE LITTLE THINGS TO HOLD THEM ON WHILE IT CURES! *holds out a round stick pin.*  
Edge: Did you really only get this greyish tile?  
Blue: I grabbed some tangerine tiles for accents. I think they are near the bottom- what are you doing?! *Cuts to Rus placing the orange tiles in a pattern that resembles his face.*  
Rus: PLACING TILES OBVIOUSLY!  
Blue: I DIDN'T, BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR PORTRAITS!  
Rus: Really? Well, I’m afraid you don’t know the best way to purchase tile!  
Edge: .... look, Rus can take that wall, I'll take this wall and Blue takes the third.  
Blue: what about the fourth wall?  
Edge: Razz can do it if he wants, or we shall team up for it.  
*Rus turns his wall into a portrait of his face. Blue makes the nice accent line he originally intended midway up the wall. Edge has this unique repeating pattern with orange tiles placed every so often.*  


***  
Bookwyrm  
(HOLY SHIT THEY WOOOOULD)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(They all have different visions and it all clashes XD poor Stretch)

(Now what will they do with the fourth wall...)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: BLUE YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT MY BROTHER BOUGHT!  
Blue: Raaaazz! Do this wall! Come onnnn!  
*Razz makes a target.*  
*Razz is self conscious at the excitedness of Rus.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz finally notices how every wall has a different pattern on it.*

Razz: What the heck Blue! I thought we were doing targets on each wall?!  
Rus: IT’S AMAZING!  
Razz: ... what is your deal?????

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Chat:*  
-interstretchable: I hear lots of shouting upstairs. Both the good and bad kind.  
-Shark bite: something blew up. Only explanation.  
-snas: did you get to see the starry eyed Razz yet? *sends the pic.*  
-Interstretchable: .... dear god I must Lord this over him forever.  
-shark bite: you really wanna die don’t ya?

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Chat:*  
-slim jim: dude no. I can almost feel your creepy smile. And I thought you wanted out of the wall? Show my bro that pic and you might as well marry the wall

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Chat:*  
-slim Jim: he almost cut you in half already.  
....  
Stretch: Wait what?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: yeah, you got marker line and everything 

Chat  
*Chat:*  
\- snas: what  
\- sharkbite: WTF

***  
Bookwyrm  
.....  
Stretch: ....y-your joking right ?  
Slim: ....  
Stretch: Slim?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: And that psychopath is still in my house why?!

*Lots of noise and shouting from upstairs.*  
Razz: I TOLD YOU CEILING PAINT GOES UP FIRST AND THEN THE FLOORING!  
Rus: THAT IS NOT THE PROPER PROCESS!

Stretch:.... starts struggling harder to escape the wall.

*Chat:*  
-Interstretchable: you guys gotta get me out of here before he comes back!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: my bro and your bro are getting along and I haven't seen Razz have that much fun ever.  
Stretch: Get me out. 

Razz: .... the ceiling paint first so if it drips you can put the flooring down so it'a not soiled! Now we risk ruining the new floor!

Stretch: ... are they in my room? Why are they in my room???  
Slim: Raz torched it. He and Blue got you new stuff and had a blast color coordinating it. They made me size your suit.  
Stretch: Why a suit???  
Slim: *Sarcastic* Blue proposed.  
Stretch: *Freezes.*  
Slim: Did you only skim the chat history???  
Stretch: *Furious scrolling.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh shit he knows XDDDD)  


Stretch: Why did you let him torch my room?  
Slim: To be fair to me, I tried to stop him when he whipped the flamethrower out-  
Stretch: He used a literal flamethrower?!!!  
Slim: It said so in the chat-  
Stretch: I thought you were joking.

Razz: See! That’s exactly how it’s done. NOW we can lay floors down.  
Rus: WE STILL DID THE PROCESS WRONG...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... *How do I respond???* Ah. Well. We should finish the floor up and get the new furniture in. And the clothes! Blue we need to separate the clothes first! Follow me down stairs.

Stretch: How did he even get one of those!

*Chat*  
\- snas: guys? .... hey if razz is cutting people in half I would rather my bro not be there!  
\- sharkbite: pretty sure boss would demand to join.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I’m dying over here that gave me some serious giggles irl. Oh god would Comic come over just to drag Rus home? And Razz is like getting himself out from the situation XD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: OH! Yeah, the cashiers never sorted the clothes the right way! By style!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Yes of course! Style! Now let’s get downstairs.  
Stretch: Blue? Is that you walking by? You gotta get me out of this wall! Please!  
Blue: NOT UNTIL WE'RE DONE!  
*Stretch sulking*  
Slim: Actually I think he has two... one of them was from some mission with Alphys back Underground.... I think one of his firefighter buddies was a Vietnam or Korea Veteran and gave him the other. He wouldn’t go into full details on that one. He also doesn’t like sharing them.  
*Meanwhile all the barnyard noises are heard upstairs as Rus and Edge try to roll out the flooring.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: ...oh stars. Are... are Rusand Edge in my room alone?  
Slim: Yeeeep.  
Razz: I love the sleek flamethrower, she's a beauty. But! The thick flamethrower is more effective and has a bigger tank!  
Blue: GASP can I try it some time!  
Razz: ..... that...Rus. Mentioned he would like my services, correct?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: ヽ( ★ω★)ノ

*Chat:*  
-slimjim: comic, you might wanna hide anything you find valuable... far away.  
Snas: why?  
-slimjim: your room is next.  


*BANG*  
Edge: OWWW MY F***ING FOOT!!!  
Rus: LANGUAGE!!!!!  
Stretch: What the hell did they just drop?  
Slim: Don’t know. I didn’t see them carrying anything up the stairs yet...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... Blue. I don't want to know what those too lamp poles are doing.  
Blue: I am sure they are doing their best!  
*More crashes*  
.....  
Blue: *Drops of sweat.* Um. You were the GuardCaptain..... h-how do we deal with ....riots?

Stretch: Get me out of this damn wall now.  
Slim: I am to make sure you don't see anything. *Tightens the pillow case.*

Rus: BLUE! WHERE IS YOUR MONSTER CANDY?  
Edge: I don't need it!

*Chat:*  


-snas: red i am staring to freak out


	6. The Missing Bonding, Backstory, and Reactions Making More Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wyrm: I AM SORRY I MISSED SOME IMPORTANT BITS! THIS WILL MAKE SOME THINGS HAVE WAY MORE SENSE!
> 
> Port: Discovered something was missing when reading through the story again other day. This includes the missing bedroom renovation shenanigans, Comic and Red showing up, and Blue and Razz having a bonding moment about their similar yet different past. Some Razz backstory you won’t find elsewhere.

*Blue and Razz carrying the unassembled Swedish instructions IKEA dresser still in its box up the stairs. Lots of noises can still be heard from the bedroom. Razz peers in to see mountains of bones everywhere, plus one massive one that looks extremely heavy.*  
Razz: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?!  
Rus: OBVIOUSLY WHAT STRETCH NEEDS IS MORE BONES IN HIS ROOM, BUT EDGY-ME SAID HE ONLY NEEDS ONE BIG BONE!  
Edge: YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT!  
Rus: SAYS THE ONE THAT ACCIDENTALLY SMASHED HIS OWN FOOT!  
Edge: LIES! ALL OF IT IS LIES!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Oh Toriel what now!?!* .... furniture first! Then decorations! Do you two not know the basics of room assembly?!?  
Blue: ... and wouldn't it be best to have my brother make the bones so your brothers don't accuse him of stuff?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(XD THE UNINTENDED SCANDAL)

Rus: YOU... MAY HAVE A POINT.  
Edge: Fine, we can focus on getting the furniture built instead. What did you bring exactly?  
Blue: IKEA furniture. It's supposed to be easy to assemble.  
*Starts taking the box appart.*  
Razz: Even if the instructions are in another language, how hard could it be?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: I AM THE GREATEST PUZZLE MASTER.  
*The air tenses.*  
Blue: No way, I am!  
Edge: None of you could possibly be better than me!  
Razz: *Has started on the dresser.* While you all whine, I will prove I'm the best!

Stretch: Slim please. I think they might kill each other.  
Slim: I know my bro would make it out at least. And probably drag Blue out too. *Leans on Stretch, starts texting.*

Chat:  
\- sharkbite: don't worry your blue ass. They will be fine. Probably.  
\- snas: look no one is responding. I will go over there if they don't respond.  
\- slim jim: everyone is having a great time.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*It sounds like a war some upstairs. Stretch is trying to wiggle out of the wall while Slim is playing blicblock on his phone. The machine downstairs revs to life followed by frantic footsteps.*  
Comic: I’m here! Where’s my bro!  
Slim: Up there.  
*Everyone jumps at what sounds like a bombing brigade.*  
Comic: Are you sure they’re all alive?!  
*Slim shrugs.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Chat:  
\- sharkbite: Comic? Vanilla? Shit is everyone at that house now?

Razz: A DRESSER DOESN'T NEED BONES. AND IT DOESN’T NEED YOUR FACE CARVED IN IT.  
Rus: HOW ELSE WOULD PEOPLE KNOW I WORKED ON IT?

Slim: I trust my bro. If he can police the Underground he can hand three skele-  
Razz: *Yelling heard from the upstairs.* DON'T YOU DARE PUT MORTAR ON THAT!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDDD)  
*Red walks in from the basement.*  
Red: Is the party still going on? I brought the Natty Light.  
Slim: Take a seat anywhere. We are just waiting for the upstairs storm to blow over-  
Razz: HOW THE HELL DID YOU STICK IT TO THE CEILING!!!????  
Blue: It’s kind of cool up there-  
Razz: YOU AREN’T HELPING!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz needs to step away. He heard the sounds of laziness downstairs. Maybe they will be less confusing than those two tall ones?*

Razz: *Walks down the stairs* .... is that beer?  
Red: Hey! Tiny prick! Catch!  
Razz: *Catches the can, stares Red down, drinks it in one go* .... leave the honey stick in the wall or face my wrath.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Nice ta see ya too.  
*Razz takes a seat on the couch, a bit away from the lazy group near the wall, holding his empty can.*  
Stretch: What the hell did you do to my Bro?!  
Razz: Nothing!  
Stretch: Bullshit!  
Slim: Taking a break?  
Razz: Yeah... Blue I can handle. The combination of those three is.... A lot.  
Red: Pfffft! Have ya tried lookin’ in the mirror?  
Razz: I swear you'll be eating through a straw!  
Comic: Well, I know Blue and Edge will be okay with Rus-  
Razz: What’s that supposed to mean?!  
Comic: I can't lie.... I don't trust you with Rus. At all.  
Red: Damn Comic. That's brutal.  
Razz: And what did you think I would do to him?!  
*It sounds like an avalanche on a mountain is falling, the sound of rescue choppers and everything.*  
Slim: Seriously, do you guys have a mover running up there at max volume?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .....*Cruel smile.* Wouldn’t you like to know, brother. And Comic? Keep it up. Your brother wants to do your house next. And I care not for limiting him as I have done here. I do have two flamethrowers. And he has..... enthusiasm.  
Comic: *Eyelights gone .... why would you let him use a flamethrower at all?  
Razz: I have yet to set a date for it.  
Red: *Cackling.* Damn Comic. You got the little rattlesnake to get pissy. *Tosses one to Slim.*  
Slim: Bro, I still got the pillow case on Stretch. Can he be let go yet?  
Razz: ..... hmmm.  
Stretch: Let me out guys. I don't want to use a blaster.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You destroy that high quality wall and I’ll destroy you in return!  
Stretch: You were going to cut me in half!!!!  
Razz: You deserve it!  
Stretch: I apologized already! What is your problem?!  
Razz: NEXT TIME DON’T LORD YOUR LOOMING FRAME OVER ME OR MAKE ANY CONTACT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND THERE WON'T BE ONE!  
Red:.... Looming frame? *Looks between Razz, the trapped Stretch, then upstairs where the others were still at.*  
Red: Ah, I get it now.  
Razz: What? Get what?  
Red: Our bros do share a resemblance to a particular asshat we knew, don’t they.  
Razz: I’M GOING TO SHOVE THIS BEER CAN SO FAR UP YOUR PELVIS- *Thundering noises echo from down the stairs next.*  
Stretch: Why are you not letting me out?!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ... It has been a long time since my bro got to torment someone.  
Red: try it short stuff, I got hips for days.  
Razz: If you MUST know, cancer stick. I will release you when we are done upstairs.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(HOLY SHIT HIPS FOR DAYS XDDDD)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
.......  
Slim: ... you are the largest Sans, Red.  
Red: Yup. And Razzmatazz there is the shortest.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: BY 1/4 OF AN INCH YOU ASSHOLE! AND COMIC AND BLUE ARE THE TALLEST BY LIKE, AN INCH!!!  
Red: damn, didn't know you were so obsessed with height that you memorized all of ours. I'll try not ta think too little of ya.  
Comic: Ya know, I never really noticed how close in height the Sanses all are.  
Razz: YOU WORDED IT POORLY BROTHER! He’s the Sans with the FATTEST ASS!!!!  
Comic: He does weigh the most.

Rus: We finally got it assembled! And I did most of the work!  
Edge: NO I DID YOU LYING ASS!!!  
Blue: BRING US MORE FURNITURE!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Socket twitch.* There better not be anymore faces!  
Stretch: What furniture?  
Blue: .... um, Razz had.... complaints..... about your room. Fiery complaints.  
Razz: It was completely appropriate.  
Stretch: What?  
Red: The lil shit torched yer room!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: I FOUND OUT THAT MUCH FROM THE CHAT! Why furniture?????  
Razz: Ah yes, just one more big piece to go. Come along Blue.  
Blue: COMING  
*Both head outside to struggle getting the mattress through the door.*  
Slim:.... Yeah, it's gonna be an absolute shit show and I haven't even seen it yet. *Sips bear.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... Slim, can you get the case off my head?  
Slim: Nope. Also, I see why you use the honey bear bottles. They fit nice in my hand. Not something I'd do all the time though.  
Stretch: Dude.  
*Razz and Blue are struggling still.*  
Razz: HEY LAZY ASSES! A LITTLE HELP HERE?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Comic finally gets up and tries telling them how to twist it.*  
Comic: Counter clockwise now, about 30 degrees more.... Now back again.  
Razz: would.... You... GAHHHH!!! *Summons a blaster skull and rams the mattress through, cracking the doorframe a bit.*  
Comic:.... That's one way to do it I guess....  
Razz: I HATE YOU ALL!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: Sheesh.  
Razz: *Huff. * *Huff. *  
Blue : Thanks for trying Comic! Oh, Slim can you get the bag off my brother? I think that's a bit cruel for this long.  
Razz: Oh sure, give the guy more ammo.  
Slim : *Removed the pillow case*.... good morning honey!  
Razz: never say that again brother.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: How about Carrot Cake?  
*Razz grabs the pillow case and ties it over Slim’s head.*  
Razz: I can't even look at you right now! Just keep that on.  
Slim: Okay.  
Razz: I mean it!  
Slim: Okay.  
Stretch: Deat god you destroyed the door.  
Razz: I DESTROYED A LOT MORE THAN THAT! GIVE ME THE PROPER CREDIT I DESERVE!  
Red: Ya guys are all idiots... say where do ya keep your flamethrowers?  
Razz: THEY’RE ABOUT TO BE AIMED RIGHT UP YOUR ASS!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Jeez, what nibbled your bones?  
Razz: I TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF MY THROWERS. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE THEM LYING ABOUT!  
Blue: Can we please get the mattress upstairs?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Oh shit, we gotta get it through another door.  
Rus: OH THIS LOOKS FUN!  
Razz: Yes, fun. Say, if you can figure out the puzzle of getting it through the door, you can place it wherever you want.  
Rus: I Can?  
Razz: Yes! Now go crazy. *Shoves the mattress in his face and heads downstairs to carry everything else up.*  
Red: They are just flamethrowers. I could do the same thing with a lighter and hairspray bottle.  
Razz: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Oh no. Why do you all like messing with my bro?  
Razz: YOU FAT BASTARD OF A SKELETON!  
Red: What's up, shrimpy?  
Razz: *Lunges.* RAAAAAAHHHH  
Red: *Dodge.* Smallsprout! *Dodge.* Mouse. *Dodge.* Chicken Bone.  
Blue: *Gasp.* Red! I can’t believe you went that far!  
Razz: I WILL DUST YOU.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*The two took their match into the kitchen, screaming accompanied by crashing dish noises.*  
Slim: I feel like you just wanna bully him. He tries to get along.  
Comic: Nah, it's just funny to get a rise from him. Plus Red and Stretch are just asses.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Red takes the opportunity to aim a mostly harmless attack at the defenseless skele-butt from the wall. With Razz still screeching at him.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *OOF!* Too much kink back there! Razz behave yourself! I know I'm sexy but that's just gross!  
*Razz burst back into the room with a blaster summoned.*  
Razz: You are accessing ME of such vile behavior?!!! How dare you!!!!  
Red: Man, a kinky midget, who would have thought.  
Razz: THAt IS IT!!! *Blows a hole in the wall a few feet above Stretch before storming out the front door and slamming it hard enough to splinter it.*  
Everyone: ...  
Comic: I think you guys may have taken that too far.  
Red: Please, the tiny psycho is probably fine.  
*Silence.*  
Blue:... I’m gonna go talk to him.  
Stretch: Just leave the little booger to himself. I don't want him back in the house ever again.  
*Blue goes out anyway, seeing Razz under a tree sulking, wiping his sockets repeatedly.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg more berry bonding? And poor baby Razz couldn't handle that much interaction!)

Razz: *Is silent in his tears, because he was taught no one wants to hear it* .........  
Blue: Razz? Are... are you all right?  
Razz: *Has a hard time answering that, learned instinct to lash out vs the want of keeping this .... friend...? around.* I am fine Blue. Go back inside. They need your help with the room.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I... *Takes a seat next to him in the grass not saying anything.*  
Razz: I told you I am fine! J-just go back inside.... please.  
Blue: I don’t want to right now. Everyone decided to be mean, and I don't want to hang out with mean people.  
Razz: I’m pretty mean, you know that. You shouldn't be hanging around me either then.  
Blue: Not at all! I think you are a very nice person!  
*Razz stares at him very confused.*  
Razz: Do you have a head injury?  
Blue: Despite my brother being a jerk, you wanted to save him from bug attacks and the filth of his room. Then we donated all those socks! And we tried on those suits together and you helped me try out a new style. You haven't sworn once since I asked you not to!  
Razz: I still yell a lot, and destroyed your wall.  
Blue: I can fix the wall, just like Papy’s bedroom.  
*Razz has flashbacks to when he was a tiny innocent test subject and he was living with other clones of himself.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .*Unfocused eyelights*... are you sure you want to be around me? .... you will probably get hurt.  
Blue: I think it will be fine.  
Razz: I don't want to hurt you blue.  
Blue: why do you think you will hurt me?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: I hurt my other brothers... Way back in the day...  
Blue: But Slim seems fine though.  
Razz: He’s not the one I was talking about.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue:... *Leans in and gives Razz a hug. He doesn't fight back.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ... you know .... it’s funny. You're a version of me. But you remind me of them more than anything.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Is it weird that I feel the same way?  
Razz: I don't think so? I'm going to say it's not.  
Blue nods  
Razz: So... what happened to them in your world?  
Blue: They mainly died due to health complications, or other things they wouldn't tell me. It's just Papy and me now.  
Razz: I see, so they were always destined to die. *Feels slightly better about himself.... Slightly.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .....*Looks almost hesitant *....um.... what happened to....yours?  
Razz: .... Do you really want to know? It is not pretty. You have heard of my Underground. Think carefully.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Paused... slowly nodding.* I-I do.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Sounding detached, like it is just facts that happened and not a horrible horrible thing*..... my experiment group.... was for early childhood violence to put it bluntly. Seeing if gaining LV at an early age would make better soldiers or something. The nicest ones dusted first.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Oh.... I-I’m sorry.  
Razz: Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault.  
Blue: I just couldn't imagine. I-I was expected to take over for Captain Gaster, with a lot of his abilities and hopefully having an equivalent power to a human soul... I was a pacifist though, I didn't want to hurt anyone, so they ended the project when I was the only one left.  
Razz: Just like I was.... only they didn’t give me a choice.... *Hears sniffling, turns to see Blue staring at him with big watery eylights.*  
Razz: Oh no, don't cry, I command you not to cry.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: It’s not something I can control! And you're not crying so I'm doing it for you.  
Razz: No, I don't want your bag of bones brother after me. Stop it. *Starts patting at Blue’s face as if that would stop the tears.* Stop. It. Now. No. Stop face leaking.  
Blue: *Little hiccup giggles while crying.* R-Razz nooooooo.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(dghhjkkl the adorable slaps to stop I can't XDDD)

*Red, Slim and Comic are quietly watching the little they can from the doorway, not being able to understand much of anything until Blue starts crying and Razz tells him to stop.*  
Red: Damn, what the hell are those two doing over there?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .... damn I want a picture. They are adorable, and no one would believe me back home. What is my bro doing?  
Stretch: Anyone want to tell me about it?  
Comic: I didn't think Razz could do .... that.  
Red: Look at the little bastard. What the hell are they doing? Playing some weird game from a non Fell universe? Comic, kids do like pacifist games, right? Is that what the Berries are doing?  
Comic: Not that I know.  
Slim: This is the softest I've ever seen Razz.  
Stretch: What is going on out there???  
Comic: No clue buddy.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*The two eventually calm down, Blue standing and wiping his face with a sleeve.*  
Blue: Can you wait here for a few minutes please?  
Razz: Uhhhh, sure? Why though?  
Blue: I just have a few things to say to the others. *Turns and walks to the house, seeing the lazies retreating into the house trying not to be spotted.*  
Blue: Everyone. I have something that must be said.  
Red: Dang, this is pretty formal even for you.  
Blue: Everyone, this is your last warning. If you all continue to be mean to Razz- *Single blue eye lights up,* YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .....  
Comic: .....  
Slim: ....*Thumbs up.*  
Stretch: What is going on???  
Red: ....was that supposed to be scary, Pipsqueak?  
Comic: *Looks at Red.* Dude, not the time.  
Blue: I mean it! Don't pick on him! That means you two brother!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Pfffft. Sure thing bro.  
Blue:.........  
Red: You’re too much of a marshmallow ta be scary.  
Blue:.....  
Slim: *Sccots away from both Stretch and Red.*  
Comic: *Looking at the two idiots.* For your own well being, I'm gonna have ta say knock it off.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Leave him alone or I’ll get Edge to let me do your room like we did my brother's! And there will be no honey in the house!  
Stretch: ...... what?  
Blue: I feel bad for leaving you in the wall this long brother .... but your room is almost done anyway... let me get Razz and we can get you out of the wall.  
Stretch: What did you do to my room???

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: The real question is, what DIDN’T they do to your room.  
Red: Honestly, I still have no clue.  
*Loud crash from upstairs.*  
Rus: NYEHEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS CONQUERED THE MATTRESS PUZZLE!  
Edge:.... Ugggggghhhhhh…. my back...  
Rus: Blue? I think we really need that monster candy now-  
Edge: NO I DON’T!


	7. Berry Bonding in Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of last chapter. the berry boys are precious and you can't convince me otherwise.

Bookwyrm  
Blue: EDGE IT IS NOT A DEFEAT TO USE THE CANDY! IT’S A WIN FOR YOUR HEALTH!  
Edge: I DON’T NEED IT!  
Razz: *Is a little emotionally tired, came in and is marking the wall for the least amount of damage.* Oh good. They managed to put a mattress on the floor.  
Stretch: Slim?  
Slim: You aren't going to like your bank statement. And Blue had a lot of fun.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: *Gives Stretch a reassuring pat on the head while Razz starts cutting into the dry wall. Blue runs upstairs to get all the matching items laid out and ready.*  
Stretch: Y-you’re not gonna cut me in half, right?  
Razz: I don't know. I'm still not happy about some of your most recent comments. *Pulls the blade out like he's going to strike Stretch’s spine.*  
Red: YA CRAZY-  
Razz: *Jams the blade back in to the wall, cackling like mad while everyone else just stares nervously. Stretch looks about ready to faint.*  
Stretch: C-can anyone else cut me out... Please?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I think we should let the firefighter handle it.  
Stretch: *Betrayed look, stunned.*  
Razz: *Cackles more.* With your lanky bones i can cut a rectangle just a bit more than your shoulder width to easily slide you out, then knock off the extra bits. I just have to go through the drywall, wires from the outlet and possibly a support beam if I see one. Just don't struggle too much.  
Stretch: That’s not very reassuring!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Could someone flip the power breaker so I don't electrocute him on accident?  
Comic: I mean, that's all the way in the basement.  
Red: Nah, too much effort.  
Stretch: I. Hate. All of you right now.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Look, I can probably avoid the wires, maybe. I dont want to be electrocuted either.  
Blue: I’ll get the breakers!  
Razz: Finally someone half capable. *Continues to work on where he will be cutting.* It is such a shame about the wall.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: You know what else is a shame? The amount of pain my back is currently in. I’ve been in this weird position almost a full day and I’m not sure if I can move after this.  
Razz: You could have just teleported out of the wall you know.  
Comic: That’s a bad idea. *Shudders.*  
Razz: Why?  
Red: I accidentally got my ankle stuck in a door during a shortcut... the ankle really didn’t wanna come with me anywhere else....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: This is why you all should walk more. At the very least.  
Blue: Razz, I got the breaker. Are you ready to start cutting?  
Razz: Yep. I have it all marked out and ready.  
Stretch: Oh finally.  
Blue: *Pats his brother.* At least you learned your lesson.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: When I'm not in so much pain and can remember what that lesson is, I’ll let you know.  
Razz:.... I've only got the one slice in the wall, we could still cut this idiot in half.  
Blue: NO!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Look, a single cut is still easier to fix than a large hole.  
Blue: I prefer my brother in one piece.  
Razz: *Huff* I guess. Whatever.  
Red: *Is tempted to make a 'you look good on your knees' joke but Comic is staring him down.* Can ya hurry it up?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oof, Comics trying to keep the idiot alive now XD)

Razz: Aaaaaaaaaaand... done. *Makes one final cut, grabbing Stretch by the shoulder and pulling him forward. His whole body, plus a circular chunk of drywall around his waists cut like a tutu, falls flat on his face with butt in the air.*  
Razz: We can cut the rest off easier with you out of the wall.  
Stretch: Thank GOD I can stretch my legs again.  
Razz: ... was that supposed to be a pun?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .....Stretch you punned while my brother has a saw in his hand.  
Stretch: I just want to stand and see the damage upstairs.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: IT’s READY!!!!!  
Stretch: Oh god I’m scared.  
Razz: ... not going to lie, l like the dry wall tutu. I think we should just leave it on you.  
Stretch: Please no.  
Razz: I’M THE ONE WITH THE SAW!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
........  
*Stretch just turns right around when he sees his room.  
Blue stops him and tells his brother how great the room is.  
Red is dying of laughter.  
Comic is patting Stretch’a shoulder.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: STOP BEING SO UNGRATEFUL! *Drags Stretch back into the room by force.* As you can see, we took your color preferences and your hatred of bed frames into account!  
Blue: I even color matched with the mattress cover!  
Razz: he did! And we put tiles on the walls and an easy to clean floor, so now your honey won’t leave stains!  
Stretch: .... why does that wall have Rus’s face?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Because I was busy and Blue didn't stop him.  
Blue: He was having fun!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: You haven’t even seen the best part yet!  
Stretch: .......  
Blue: Since all your clothes got burned up by the flamethrower, we had to buy you new ones! We got you a suit!  
Stretch: ....  
Slim: *Dumps the pile of thirty socks he bought on the floor* :3

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Now I am feeling good about this whole thing.  
Razz: Try the damn suits. Gotta make sure they fit.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: OMG Papy! we can show you the ones we got! A fashion show!  
Razz: .... is that the thing where Napstaton murders criminal-models that didn't cat walk right?  
Blue: ......no. no it isn't.  
Red: Damn. That was the only tolerable thing my Mettaton did.  
Edge: The answer or die quiz show was better. And the last cook standing show too.  
Blue: ..... I think you need to see my Napstaton.  
Rus: OH MY GOD. SANS GO GET MY METTATON TAPES!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Rus at the end though I can’t XDDD oh snap is it time to give everyone else their suits early? Early Giftmas gifts?????)

Stretch: I think I’ll pass. You guys have fun.*Slim grabs him by the hood giving him a death glare.*  
Slim: I literally spent HOURS on my tip toes just so they could size a suit properly for you. At one point they grabbed some stilettos from the shoe section and made me stand in those. Ya know how uncomfortable those are?  
Stretch: Dang, didn’t realize you did so much today. *He tries to walk out again, Slim smiles but his grip tightens.*  
Slim: I’m not giving you a choice here.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Oh my stars Razz! Razz! We can give our gifts early and have the BEST fashion show slash movie night! We can hold on to them until Giftmas, but this way we can be sure they all fit! And look amazing!  
Razz: I think we have two very different kinds of fashion show.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I’m too excited!!!! I’m going to grab them right now.  
Edge: *Sitting on the dresser trying to hide pain.* What was that about?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz:...... I have no idea why he would be excited to try a death game.  
Stretch: No. It’s just fun for him. No death or murder..... so you really did a lot of work in here. I need to set up a new tornado.  
Edge: That’s disgusting.  
Razz: We got suits for everyone. There was a sale.  
Edge: ......... Sans don't you dare leave.  
Red: Dammit.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: And this is yours! And yours! And yours!  
Comic: Heh, pinstripes.  
Red: Guess you’re on the straight and narrow now.  
Razz: THAT WAS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: .... you got me pinstripes too?  
Blue: Pinstripes are very slimming!  
Red: ..... are you trying to tell me something with that?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Yes. You look decent in pinstripes and to lay off your ... Grillby’s. And to jog once in a while.  
Slim: You look like a mobster, Red.  
Razz: Blue and I had to guess your sizes are a bit bigger than ours.  
Comic: .... hmmm.  
Rus: OH MY GOD. SANS. THEY. GOT. YOU. A TINY. BOWTIE AND HAT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god are we talking a little bowler hat Cuz that’s hilarious!?)

Comic: It even has little polka dots on it.  
Blue: Do you like it?!  
Rus: LET US AT LEAST TRY THEM ON FIRST.  
Stretch: Jesus Edgelord.  
Edge: What?  
Stretch: You look like your a mob boss, or some sort of king pin.  
Rus: YOU DO PULL OFF THE BLACK QUITE NICELY!  
Red: Wait... did you really include suspenders with mine? Really???

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: yes we did. Edge, there should be a skull pin for you too. Blue, which one are you doing?  
Blue: I am going to wear the light colored one.  
Razz: .... Slim?  
Slim: Aw come on... I already wore suits for hours!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ....  
Slim: P-please don’t give me that look.... I always feel like your gonna pounce or something.  
Razz: .....  
Slim: .... fine, but I’m not walking on my toes or in heals.  
Razz: So Blue, how exactly does a not murder oriented fashion show work?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh no that makes me think of a baby bones version of Toddlers and Tiaras)  
Blue: Rule one! Have fun without violence!  
Edge: Hm. Well that might be ok.  
Blue: I NEED A CAT WALK!  
*Blue proceeds to put Christmas lights in a runway shape in the back yard.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You’re sure their are no surprise traps set up?  
Blue: Of course not silly!  
Razz: So now what?  
Rus: Allow me to demonstrate! *Steps onto the catwalk with his shoulders back in a heroic pose, showing off his white tux and extremely shiny teeth. When he gets to the end he poses with his hands on his hips.*  
Comic: Nice one bro. You really make it look easy.  
Rus: NOTHING IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS! WHO’s NEXT?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ... where are the projectiles?  
Razz: Yeah, where are they?  
Blue: You don't shoot models!  
Rus: SANS YOU SHOULD TRY NEXT

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Eh, why not. *Waddles up to the stage, shuffles to the end with a big grin before breaking into the Fortnight dance.*  
Razz: Please let me launch some bones at him for that!  
Edge: How about some blasters instead?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I am starting to see the appeal of Fell fashion shows.  
Razz: Chara told me what that was and I won’t stand for that offense!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Dang, I’m not sure how I can top that one. Let me think. *Heads out onto the stage, shuffles midway up the isle before flipping around and breaking into a proper moonwalk.*  
Blue: YOU CAN DANCE RED?!  
Red: Ah shit, it’s only cringe when you do it wrong. My bad guys.  
Edge: I demand you tell me how long you have been able to do that!  
Red: Hey Boss, isn’t it your turn?

(He is avoiding the subject hard)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(It was totally a weird drunk night with Fell Metteton)  
Edge: IT IS. But I won't forget this. *Struts down the stage, showing his long legs off.*  
Razz: .... curse him and his legs.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god it totally was XD, in the morning he woke up naked in the middle of Mettaton’s bedroom floor with glitter and blood EVERYWHERE. It took him weeks to get all the glitter from his joints...)  
Edge: And THAT’s how you strut down a catwalk! *Strikes a pose that makes him look cool but intimidating.*  
Rus: THAT WAS GREAT EDGY ME!  
Edge: But of course. *Stands next to Red and glares, making the shorter sweat bullets.*  
Red: H-Hey Stretch! You should go next! Like.... Right now!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: I don’t know if my joints can take it Red. I've been in a wall for a day.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Sure ya can! I’ll even give ya a boost. *Grabs Stretch’s soul with blue magic and levitates him over the catwalk.*  
Blue: Razz! We should show off our swapped suit colors together at the end!  
Razz: Are you sure? We’d be going twice then.  
Blue: It’s fine! This will be so much fun!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Stretch decides to do a sexy recline pose as red levitates him.*  
Razz: If you want to Blue, I will.  
Blue: *Starry sockets.* Oh my god yes!  
Slim: I’m next. I don't want to be in the suit much longer.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *Reached the end of the runway.* Someone get me a chair and a bucket of water.  
Edge: How about I just give you a bucket to the face?  
Stretch: Calm down Edgelord. How did that even offend you?  
Edge: How about your lack of walking for one!  
Stretch: At least I’m willing to admit when I’m in pain. How’s that foot of yours by the way?  
Edge: I swear to Asgore I will-  
Slim: Alright, I’m just gonna go. *Steps onto the catwalk, only to come down with a case of stage fright and forgets what he is supposed to do.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..........*This is his moment to be a good brother. He gets on the stage and grabs his brother’s hand. All while having a cocky walk.*  
Blue: Oh! I wanna walk with Razz next! *Berry bro 4 life.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(God the brotherly love! It’s sooo adorable I can’t!!!!!)

Razz: Show them your angry face brother! Don’t let them intimidate you. *Strikes his typical Guard Captain at attention stance when he reaches the end.*  
Slim: R-Right! *Makes a stern face rarely seen on Slim since coming to the surface, standing at attention behind his brother.*  
Comic: You go Slim. Show us how it’s done.  
Rus: THAT WAS EXCELLENT YOU TWO!  
Red: *Briefly thought of making a BDSM joke but decided now wasn’t appropriate.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: My turn! *Does his own confident walk down the runway, doing a flip at the end and sticking the landing with a big smile.*  
Stretch: That’s my bro. He’s the coolest alright.  
Blue: Everyone stay right there! Razz and I will be back in a second with one more thing to show! *The two rush towards the house while everyone waits a bit confused.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ..... guys. You’re going to want your phones out. It is a 10 on the cute scale.  
Red: .... wut.  
Comic: Razz? Cute?  
Rus: I CAN GET A CONTACT PROFILE PICTURE FOR THEM BOTH! I NEED TO GET RAZZ'S NUMBER. IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME TO CALL EVERY NUMBER IN HIS UNIVERSE.  
Edge: ... you didn't.  
Rus: THAT’S HOW I GOT THE HUMANS NUMBER.  
Slim: I am not joking. This is going to be great

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Pffft. Cute. That’s hilarious. *Gets his phone out to start watching TikTok, pausing when the music starts increase in volume.*  
Red: Wait, where’d the music come from?  
Rus: IT’S BEEN PLAYING THE WHOLE TIME!  
Edge: Seriously Runt, you need to pay more attention to these things! *Smoke erupts from the catwalk from nowhere, clearing to show two silhouettes standing back to back.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god they are precious)  
Razz : *Has his confidence face on to match Blue’s, starts following Blue’d steps like a mirror.*  
Blue: *Has starry sockets. ONG he totally has a cool twin now that DOES STUFF WITH HIM.*  
Stretch: ..... Slim, you were right. Blue is really cute.  
Slim: Never seen my bro so excited.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dkfnfldldo I just had this image where they both have their hats and those sunglasses on and Stretch refuses to say Razz is cute and thinks his brother is the one in the light suit, only they take their sunglasses off at the end and it’s Razz. Stretch slips into an existential crisis XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Stretch finds out at the end that the one he though was Blue is actually Razz.* Slim: PFFT NYEHEHEHEHEHEH YOU THOUGHT HE WAS BLUE!  
Red: *Is dying on the floor *  
Comic: ......... they got you good buddy.  
Rus: A SPLEND JAPE!  
Edge: Are were supposed to fire blasters yet?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Edge no XD)

Slim: *Wiping away tears after laughing so hard.* B-bro, you- *Wheeze!* Gotta see this!  
Stretch;: Oh god no.....  
Razz: See what?  
*Slim starts playing the video he took.*  
-Stretch: Slim, you were right, Blue is really cute.  
-Slim: Never seen my bro so excited.  
-Stretch: Never really imagined my bro in grey and lavender, but he pulls it off decently.  
-Slim: Wait, you mean Razz right?  
-Stretch: No, I mean MY BRO. Not yours. He can take his navy and go elsewhere.  
-slim: I think you... let’s just wait and see.  
*Everyone erupts in laughter when the glasses come off.*

Razz: ..... pffffttttt!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Wheezing.* Queen Toriel's horns! Mwaha! Mweh! Mwehhehehe! I can’t! You-you really thought?!? *Can’t handle this at all has lavender tears down his face.*  
Stretch: I-I...  
Blue: Brothdr! I thought I looked good in the navy.....  
Razz: *Trying to breathe.* You- *Huff.* Looked magnificent Blue.  
Slim: Blue looks great in dark colors, made his magic look great.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: INDEED! IT REALLY MAKES YOUR CYAN EYELIGHTS POP!  
Edge: honestly Razz, I was surprised when you stepped out in something so light, but you look like an executive.  
Stretch: Edge knew from the start-  
Red: EVERYONE ELSE DID YOU DUMBASS!!!!! BWAHAHAHA

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: .... the glasses didn't cover his scar, Stretch.  
Stretch: ...........  
Razz: *Calmed down.* Yes... it is rare for me to do light colors. You know how much visible dust on dark clothes helped to deter unsavory attackers.  
Edge: *Nods along.* You look more ready to kill executive humans in a meeting room.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Why thank you! I feel like I should be a white collar lawyer in this. So many soul suckers to pummel.  
Rus: WAIT, DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE SHARP TEETH EITHER? THE SUNGLASSES DIDN’T HIDE THE FANGS EITHER.  
Stretch: Okay I get it! *Sighs and looks to Blue directly.* Sorry bro, you actually look really cool in the dark clothes.  
Blue: Then why did you say otherwise when you thought I was Razz. *He already knew, he just wanted Stretch to admit it.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: ...because no matter what I'll think your the coolest?  
Slim: I think you both look great.  
Blue: Hm. While that may be true, I think you need to work on being friendly.  
Edge: Brother. I get the feeling the blasters aren't going to be used.  
Red: Nah, we're roasting Stretch right now.  
Edge: Ah. Razz? Would you think lighter colors would work for me? I have always wanted to try green, but I would just look like a Goftmas tree. It clashes with my magic.  
Rus: You should wear it if you like it!  
Razz: Have you tried a dark almost black green? It would remind me of the holly berry things. Maybe try a mint if you wanted green.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: How about ranger green! It’s more subdued without being too dark, and you can you use it as the primary color with your magic as an accessory color!  
Edge: Thay might actually look good, I’ll have to try that one.  
Razz: You could always go shopping with us. Big sales in this universe, and I’m sure Blue would love to go again.  
Blue: I SURE WOULD!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... Blue, um. Maybe in a month or two? Let's not break the bank.  
Razz: We already got stuff for us. It would be for Edge!  
Blue: Yeah! Slim just doesn't pull off Edge’s height at all.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: ..... Edge is shorter then me.  
Edge: But I don’t slouch all the time like you two lazy asses. I LOOK like a tall, confident individual that takes full advantage of the height I have.  
Slim:.... he does have a point.  
Rus: Can I come?! This sounds like so much fun!!!  
Edge: As long as you don’t start breaking physics with your usual antics, I don't mind,  
Rus: HORAY!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: OMG I am sooo excited! Razz, when are you free next?  
Razz: *Oh god both the tall energetic ones?* Um, I'll have to check, but I should be good this weekend. The sale is still going on by then.  
Rus: OH MY GOD SHOPPING WITH FRIENDS! THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!  
Razz: *Ohhhhhhhh kaaay. That was a little too much.* Yes. Well. It will be fun. Most likely.

HomeHawk12  
Razz: *It’s okay, Blue will be there. Retreating into a dressing room will be an option too.* So Rus, you had video to show us?  
Rus: *Pulls a bunch of DVD’s out of nowhere, eye sockets sparkling.* YESSSSSSS!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue : OH I JUST HAD AN IDEA! BLANKET FORT!  
Razz: ... blankets are not a good material for a fort?  
Edge: Wood or metal would be better.  
Rus: BLUE YOU’RE A GENIUS!!!  
Red: what.  
Slim: I don’t really understand either.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I've got lots of blankets and pillows inside!  
Rus: SHOULD I STOP AT MY HOUSE AND BRING SOME TO?  
Blue: YESS!!!  
*Both disappear in streaks of blue and orange blurs  
Edge: Should we grab some wood then?  
Razz: We can use some of the drywall I cut out

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... I don't think that’s necessary.  
Comic: Just let those two show you.  
Red: ..... I'd get the wood anyway, boss.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Quite right! *Proceeds to go to the shed in the back and find some old wood boards. Razz found some pieces of sheet metal left over when the new sheet metal roof had been installed.*  
Blue: There you guys are! Wait, what is that stuff for?  
Edge: The fort obviously! Blankets and pillows won't protect against anything!  
Blue:.... Sure, we can try working that in.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: They can be support?  
Razz: *Starts setting up outside.*  
Blue: Razz! Blanket forts are for inside.  
Razz: .... why would you build a fort inside a building???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: We aren’t actually defending against attackers. We are just building a comfy blanket structure we can watch films in.  
Razz: Could I get a example?  
Blue: Observe! as we turn the living room into the ultimate in comfort.  
*Rus and Blue start wiping up a structure.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ... this looks similar to a structure I saw the rabbits making to trap their squirming infants in.  
Razz: Yes it does. But there's no way to stop a person from leaving. Any infant could easily escape.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: It’s not meant to trap people!  
Comic: Think of it as a cool place to rest and relax inside, then you can leave at your own time.  
Stretch: But you build it inside your house for shits and giggles.  
Razz: I guess that makes sense...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Already in the fort.* It is comfy.  
Edge: .... are we to.... just sit in there?  
Blue: I’d be up for cuddles!  
Razz: ..........

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz sits on the floor section of the fort, sandwiched between Blue and Slim. The others are spread across the floor/couch section.*  
Blue: So what do you think????  
Razz: *Trying to mentally calm from the large amount of physical contact.* It is... cozy.  
Rus: OKAY EVERYONE! I got popcorn and the films ready to go!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Considering the last time Razz probably had this much non violent physical contact was when his experiment group was in the cells?)  
Stretch: *Sitting somewhere behind them more towards Blue * Relax Razz. It’s just sitting. What’s got you so tense?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Slim crawled into his bed a lot when he was younger from nightmares, but yeah, this is the closest he’s been contact-wise to such a number of monsters since his lab days. It feels so wrong XP)

Razz: Tense? Who says I’m tense?  
Slim: Everyone thinks your tense.  
Blue: You aren’t hiding it well.  
Razz: *Blushes a bit in embarrassment.* You are all clearly delusional.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: You will see. I will succeed at this ....cuddling.  
Edge: *Is faring a little bit better than Razz.* I won’t be defeated either!  
Blue: That’s not the point of a cuddle.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*As the show continues Razz’s shoulders finally fall. He’s falling asleep.*  
Razz: *Yawn.* Your fashion shows are boring compared to ours. Where’s the tension? The thrill?  
Edge: We already lost Red.  
Red: *Snores...*  
Comic: That’s not how they are supposed ta be here.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: I think my brother fell asleep too.  
Comic: *SNORE...*  
Blue: Slim too. How you holding up Razz... Razz?  
Razz: ... *Snores... roles over a bit and hugs Blue’s arm, while Slim is using Razz’s rib cage as a pillow. They are both completely out of it.*  
Stretch: *Watches the two, slowly pulling out his camera phone.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: Look at them. Look at how adorable I just wanna pet their heads and Aaaaa!  
Edge: *Has fallen too. Has a lil grumpy smile.*  
Stretch: All the pictures.  
Blue: Oh! Send them to me too! *Snuggles into Razz.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Whimpers slightly, foot twitching a bit.*  
Rus: Did he just kick his leg like a dog?  
Stretch: And I thought Slim was supposed to be the dog like one.  
Blue: Is he having a bad dream?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Reaches for a blanket in his sleep.* eh.......hmmm... *Ends up pulling Blue closer and tucking his head into him.*  
Slim: *Pulls both Berries closer as Razz’s whimpers moved him away.*  
Blue: .... I have been chosen. Oh stars.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god this image is so cute I can’t XD)

Rus: Sans... Sans wake up!  
Comic: W-what is it bro? *Yawns.*  
*Rus points to the floor where Blue has the biggest star eyelights trying to contain his glee, Razz out cold with his hands wrapped around Blue, and Slim with his long arms wrapped around both of them. Comic’s eyelights turn to stars for the briefest moment, just a second.*  
Comic: Heh, can you still say Razz isn’t cute? *Nudges Stretch.*  
Stretch: ... I won’t disagree, but I’m not ready to admit it either.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Off topic! It’s not going up on AO3 but since we be doing all the Razz cuteness I thought you’d like something I did recently!  
Then again idk how you feel about westerns )XP

http://aminoapps.com/p/1sudii

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Papy can I keep them? I want to keep them. Razz can share a room with me and I can call him my twin.  
Stretch: Bro no... they have their own universe.  
Blue: Papy I love this.  
Rus: *Looks at sleeping Edge.* I wonder.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: *Soots over your to hip to hip with Edge. Carefully scratches his skull getting an odd purring sound from Edge. He subconsciously snuggles into Rus’s chest.*  
Rus: G-g-guys? I-I think I broke him!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I love western Slim so much holy shit)  
Blue: Does.... Razz purr too?

... 

*Razz does indeed purr when cheek scritched*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(He’s wear a 100 gallon hat. I’m still not sure if the reader will ever see the top of it XP also that Sans is a “horse girl” he loves horses and wants one really badly dghjkhfd)

Stretch: *Getting curious himself, reaches down to rub Slim. Reaches a spot behind the ear hole.*  
Slim:* Happy sighing huff noises like a dog getting it’s belly rubbed.*  
Blue: Why are the Fells so adorable I can’t handle this guys.  
Comic: .... should I try it with Red?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Maybe it's the 'if anyone else saw this they'd be dead' appeal. *Comic rubs just above Red’s sockets, a very very loud purr vibrates out.* or maybe the fangs and claws?  
Comic: .... I love this.  
Blue: Razz’s little breaths are too cute I can’t!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Honestly not even sure how to top this it’s fantastic)  
morning  
Razz: *Blinks sockets open, only to realize he’s completely tangle in a bunch of bones that don’t belong to him. He starts panicking at first.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Yawns.* What’s going on?  
Razz: O-oh.... it’s just you.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... um. I need to feed my cat.  
Blue: You have a cat?!?  
Edge: Ssssssssshut up.  
....  
Edge: OH No Doomfanger!  
Blue: *Star sockets.* You BOTH HAVE A CAT! KITTY FASHION SHOW! OH MY STARS A KITTY PLAY DATE!  
Razz: *Blinks....blinks.....is... falling back asleep...is very ....comfy.*  
Slim: *Cuddles his bro more.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Is already up making plans for the the kitty play date with a massive pancake breakfast. Everyone else fell back asleep.*  
(Also cat costumes for cat dress up)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is really tired poor baby.  
Blue is all for this super cuddle with the Fells.)  
Blue: Papy! Can you get the fluffy blanket over there!  
Stretch: *Hands it over.*  
Blue : *Tucks the blanket around the two Swapfells.* I love them Papy look at how sweet they are!  
Stretch: *Is wanting for when they wake up and realize what happened.* Sure bro.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD Oh my gowd I can’t with the fuzzy blanket it’s just too precious!!!)

*Comic and Rus wake up next, Rus ogling over the cuteness on the floor before going to help in the kitchen. Comic puts the morning news on.*  
Red: *Yawn.* *Scratches the back of his pelvis like a caveman.*  
Red: Who put that garbage on?  
Comic: I just didn’t wanna distract from the real show. *Points to the cuddle fest on the floor.*  
Red: ..... pffffft!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Red! You’re up! Why didn't you tell me you purr so loud?  
Red: What.  
Rus: Yes! You all have the cutest purrs and happy noises! Look at this for your brother Red! *Scratches Edge again.* Look at that cuteness!  
Red: ...........you didn't. Oh shit is Boss gonna flip.  
Comic: You had the loudest purr, buddy  
Red: *Hands on his face.* Oh fuck you did.  
Stretch: What’s so wrong bout that?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: ... okay, so as long as you don’t mention this ever again, to ANY of them you might survive till we leave.  
Blue: But you guys are so cute! How can we not tease you about it???  
Red: Ya don’t understand. The second Boss learns he’s gonna-  
Edge: *Growls.* Wwwwhhy you all so loud! *Sits up and looks at the others staring at him.*  
Edge: .... what?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Pinprick eyelights.* Boss... how'd ya sleep?  
Edge: This blanket prison was adequate. *looks around-* ..... is that... Razz?  
Razz : *Is softly purring, still completely cuddled up to Blue with Slim holding them both.* Mmmmmm....  
Edge: *Twitches from the sheer..... cute.* Brother. What. Happened.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Uh.....  
Rus: Edgy, please keep the volume down. You might disturb the ones still sleeping. Shhh.  
Slim: *Curls more around the Beeries.* Hmmmm....mmm.... *Nuzzles Razz.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Edge looks between the cuddling Berries and everyone giving either him or them odd looks. His face is gonna crack into a smile if he stays any longer.*  
Edge: ... whatever. I’m gonna make breakfast... stupid ass swaps and their stupid ass sleeping....  
Stretch: Whatever you say motorboat.  
*The air suddenly turns tense, Red crawling behind the couch to avoid most of the fallout.*  
Edge: ..... WHHATTTTT?!?!?!!?!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Bonetrousle intensifies.*  
(Stretch just can’t leave shit alone)

Edge: What. Did. *Summons a red bone.* You. CALL. ME?  
Stretch: Motorboat?  
Edge: .... Blue? You need to shop for a new brother.  
Blue: Mweh... heh.... why?  
Edge: YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER!  
Razz: *Wakes in a panic from the killing intent in the room, automatically defending Blue and Slim.* WHAT’S- WHO???  
Stretch: *Done fucked up.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(He will never learn when to shut up XDDD)

Blue: W-WAIT! PAPY DIDN’T-  
*Red bone sword comes down hard on Stretch, a purple sword meeting it right in the nick of time.*  
Edge: YOU DARE DEFEND THIS ASSHOLE THAT NOT ONLY INSULTED ME, BUT YOU AS WELL??!!!!!  
*Megalovania intensifies.*  
Razz: Don’t get me wrong, if the circumstances weren’t as they currently are, I’d meet you as a brother on the battlefield to rip this degenerate limb from limb, killing him in the slowest, most terrifying way possible.  
Stretch: ... *Wants to make a comment about Razz joking, but knows he’s being dead serious.*  
Razz: However, killing him will make Blue cry, and I CANNOT HANDLE SITTING THROUGH MORE OF THAT!  
*Edge summons a blaster and sends Rass flying through the back wall, the two clash bones and blasters in the back yard in an epic display of magic and power, both themes playing over each other causing a lot of pain to the ears.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Everyone is watching the battle silently, not even Blue or Rus is trying to step in.*  
Blue: Brother, I’m officially taking away all your honey for the next 6 months.  
Stretch: Hey that’s not-  
Blue: Also I think that obstacle course Razz set up is still together.  
Rus: OBSTACLE COURSE! That sounds like fun!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *On the floor awake but wishes he wasn't.* Uuuuuuuuugh. Why did you have to set them off? Do you know how much they trusted you to sleep here around you? Do you realize what you poked at?  
Red: *Out from behind the couch.* Damn. Haven't seen Boss get that angry in a while. Didn't expect the shrimp to defend Stretch either.  
Blue: I think it’s rather nice of him to defend my brother.  
Red: I really hope it’s for more than he looks like Slim. Razz might kill Stretch himself otherwise.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: HOLD ON A SECOND!  
Edge: WHAT NOW?!  
Razz: First of all, I still need to feed my cat.  
Edge: ... damn, so do I.  
Razz: Second of all, there has to be a better way then this. All we are doing is giving them a show. Perhaps we can mutually agree on some way to... humiliate Stretch?  
Edge: More then during that suit show?  
Razz: Indeed. I set up a grueling obstacle course that he absolutely despises and made him run it. Perhaps another dozen rounds on that will teach him to shut up.  
Edge: It’s good, but not quite enough.... say, have you ever heard of a witch’s bridle?  
Razz: I have not.  
Edge: *Smiles sadistically.* Let us call a temporary feed our cats truce. Meet back here in 15 minutes so the REAL fun can begin. I’ll bring that special bridal thing too.  
Razz: I accept your terms.  
*shakes hands and dissipate weapons.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge you kinky bitch. Omg thats funny)  
  
Red: *Watches the two stop and leave for the universes.* .... Stretch, I hope you have insurance. The only reason Boss stops that abruptly is for a more intense idea.  
Stretch: .... why insurance?  
Rus: I think your pride at the very least is forfeit. And it is possible you may need medical attention soon.  
Comic: I don’t envy you buddy. I think the obstacle course will need a little update from the wear and tear from you. *Had over heard a little of Razz and Edge’s convo.*  
Stretch: It can't be any worse than I already had to do.  
Slim: Never assume with my bro. Thats what got people killed in my Underground. They knew not to pick on his height.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I feel like Edge would totally just collect medieval torture devices for the fun of it XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He would. Or making his own instead of deadly traps on the surface)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The HOA wouldn’t let him build death traps on the lawn, so he improvised by making his own medieval torture devices and likes to imagine putting the HOA members in them hthjomn)

  
Red: Honestly, the monsters in my world knew not to bring anything remotely insulting up with Boss. Even if he’s not as pissed as he lets on, he will painstakingly make them an example. You're gonna become one soon.  
Comic: Ypu may wanna hide out somewhere for the next few months buddy.  
Stretch: *Is starting to take the threat more seriously now.*  
Stretch: Hey Comic, maybe I can stay in your world for-  
*Noises of the machine downstairs signals the others returning.*  
Red: Welp, it was nice knowing ya. I’ll save a Natty Lite in your memory next time I go drinking.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: Better make it a few shots.  
Rus: ..... oh dear.  
Blue: ..... what .... are those? *Is very very worried.*  
Slim: Daaaamn. Edge has some nice thumbscrews. Razz never had any like those.  
*Edge got a little excited to show his toys to someone who can appreciate them.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: It’s... it’s beautiful. *About ready to shed a tear at how well built the contraption is.* I must see it in action!  
Edge: Agreed. Some of my finest work! Now hold still Ashtray. It will make it easier on all of us.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Stretch did not expect this.*  
Stretch: Hold up, no, no way. I will not allow a THUMBSCREW to be used on me.  
Razz: At least model it! And try it to the point it LOOKS to be causing pain.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You owe me!  
Stretch: I do not.  
Razz: Lies! I literally saved your life less then 30 minutes ago!  
Blue: Now I’m sure Edge wasn’t ACTUALLY going to dust you.  
Edge: No, I was. In fact, if my attack had hit I would have flushed his ashes down the toilet.  
Stretch: ....  
Blue: ....  
Tale Brothers: ....  
Red: ... just do it before they do something you’ll really regret.  
Razz: Do not worry Blue, if your brother ever says something so stupid to a Fell monster that they end up successfully dusting him, I will graciously share mine.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: I could suffer through drinking honey. My bro likes ya enough to defend Stretch. That’s a lot. From that kind of insult.  
Blue: Oh, that’s very nice of you Slim.  
Razz: I know your brother is chronically stupid sometimes *Pats Blue’s shoulder.* Want to try out this pear of anguish?  
Stretch: A what now?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Pear of anguish? I gotta look that up hold on lol)(Ohhhhhh the thing they still have no idea what exactly it went in XD)

  
*Edge presents his toy at Blue’s questioning gaze.*  
Blue: What is that thing?  
Edge: Well, it is thought that they were placed in the nether regions of humans and opened slowly and methodically, mainly in sluts and Undesirables.  
Stretch: That I can tolerate. *Smug because he doesn’t have the parts needed to use it.*  
Razz: We weren’t going to put it there!

(Also Slim having to explain “yeah this is kind of a big deal you should be grateful at the offer XDDD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ... one other possibility may have been the mouth. To slowly dislocate the jaw of a human. I have always wanted to try it on a monster! You can't pun if your jaw is .....busy.  
Stretch: ..... excuse me what.  
Slim: He does .... run his mouth .... a bit. They are going easy on you by not going past the point of pain.  
  
(Slim is pretty much like. 'you fucked up and they are being near charitable with forgiveness after that grave insult.')

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Cheer up Stretch. If you’re lucky they’ll be satisfied with the pear. Now who wants popcorn?  
Slim: Yes please.  
Stretch: You can’t be serious-  
Razz: Just sit down and we won’t make the chains suffocatingly tight. *Shoves him into a kitchen chair and holds up several feet of heavy chains.*  
Comic: So bro... wanna go somewhere that isn’t here right now?  
Rus: Brother? Are you suggesting we go on a walk?  
Comic: Yeah, a walk. *Secretly wants to leave before Edge decides to punish him for a past verbal transgression.*  
Rus: FAREWELL EVERYONE! WE WILL RETURN SOON!  
Red: Stop at iHop while you’re at it! We’re starving here!

(The lazy Fells have no sympathy left to give him)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch was warned. He didn't listen. The lazy fells did more than what they needed to.)  
Rus: OH! The pancake place? Brother we should take orders down and bring some back!  
Comic: ....sure Paps. *Anything to leave plz *  
Red: Omelets. With bacon and ham. And a reg pancake. (He wants it baaaaad)  
Edge: ..... hm. I’ll have .... hm. That cheesecake pancakes.  
Razz: There’s a Mexican one. The tres leche pancakes.  
Blue: Oh, that sounds good! Me too! I'll have what Razz is having.  
Stretch: Anything with hon-  
Blue: My brother is getting an omelet with hashbrowns.  
Stretch: Aww bro!  
Slim: I want the smiley one.  
.......  
Slim: What? I like to pretend it screams a little when I cut it.  
Edge: ......... I want a smile too.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Holy shit I was not expecting that order bit!!! “I want the smiley one” XPPPP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(You said iHop..... I had too)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Also Blue is being too kind by letting him have ANYTHING tasty. He doesn’t understand the shit storm he’s in. Oh god should they send Blue away so they can have some “real” Fellverse fun?)

*Rus is jotting down all their orders.*  
Rus: GOT IT! EVERYONE PLAY NICE UNTIL WE GET BACK!  
Edge: Don’t worry.  
Razz: We will.  
*Both turn and smile sadistically at Stretch.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... wanna know how.....n i c e ...... a guard captain can be.  
Edge: Wanna see how long you last?  
Blue: ....I will referee! And .... maybe you two can tell me about these cool toys?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Seriously bro, how are you just letting this happen?!  
Blue: You were warned, went through an entire gauntlet, was stuck in a wall, then still insulted them...  
Stretch: It was a moment of weakness- Hmph!  
*Razz shoves the pear between his teeth.*  
Razz: I would have warned you to say ahhhh, but you just wouldn’t. Shut. Up.

(Oh god is it time to bring the lazy bone chat back???)

Bookwyrm  
(Yeeeeeeessss)  
Lazy Chat:  
\- Snas: Red, did they use the pear yet? Paps wants to know.  
\- Sharkbite: Ye. Right when he was talking too.  
\- SlimJim: The idiot keeps poking at two of the most dangerous monsters from the Underground. Yes they are known for restraint. But our kind of restraint.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Sharkbite: Boss brought out the Spanish boot guys. This shit is getting serious.  
-Snas: How are they gonna use any of that without hurting his HP?  
-SlimJim: Very carefully.  
-Shsrlbitw: Blue still has no protest. I’m both shocked and impressed.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-Sharkbite: I know Bosd can cause pain to a 1 hp monster he's that good.  
-SlimJim: Yeah my bro too. Stretch is in for the whole deal. Some people back underground would have paid for this treatment.  
\- Snas: What the heck.

***  
HomeHawk12  
-snas: ???? They actively paid your bros to do this to them????  
-Sharkbite: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! >XD  
-slimjim: you Tales are so naive it’s adorable.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
\- SlimJim: I remember when we were low on money and rent was up, razz sometimes had to sell his services. He would do proper pain torture without too much HP damage for both the client and targets if he had to.  
\- Sharkbite: I did bouncing, intimidation, shakedowns, beatings. Man Razz has skills if he had clients for that.  
-snas: WTF is wrong with your universes???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: That’s my bro for ya. He learned from the best after all (though thankToriel he usually isn’t as merciless as Gaster was... usually).  
-Snas: Who the hell teaches this kind of stuff????  
-SlimJim: .... Captain Gaster. I thought I just said that.  
-Sharkbite: LMAO! were you interested in lessons? My bro would be happy to show you the... ropes.  
-Snas: NO.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
\- snas: I dont want rope lessons from your brother red. Not at all.  
\- sharkbite: awwww sansy don't wanna play with my bro?  
\- snas: knowing your universes? You probably let babies play with knives.  
\- slim jim: gotta teach em young.  
-snas: oh god I was joking you don't do that right???  
-sharkbite: oh look stretch is being introduced to one a boss's self made devices.  
\- snas: I really need to know guys. Also heading back with the pancakes. Do fell verses give babies knives???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: ehhhh it varies.  
-snas: what’s that supposed to mean????  
-Sharkbite: if ya want a serious answer, most are exposed ta serious fights/life threatening situations before 10. Though the more powerful/feared the parents, the safer the kids would be.  
Slim Jim; funny answer, we got kids comin out the womb with their own customs knives! Knives for days!!!  
-snas: Jesus Christ...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
\- slim jim: yeah... some people even bring exp home to their kids if they aren't strong enough to protect them but strong enough to have kids.  
-snas: what the fuck.  
\- sharkbite: yeah. In mine I'm pretty sure half the children were gang spies.  
-snas: I hope your joking.  
\- sharkbite: hey slim did the bunnies run a smuggling ring in yer place?  
Slim: and the dogs have a protection gig?  
-sharkbite: nice to know some things never change.  
-snas: what the fuck?!?  
(Res and slim may be laying it on thick cuz comic is a little too unscathed from the teasing)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Though they laying on thick, they also know their lazy selves would approach the whole thing with skepticism. Now Sans doesn’t know if they are being legit or screwing with him and it’s freaking him out XP)

Lazy Chat:  
-slimjim: dude edge has thumbscrews for individual toes! My bro is worshiping the ground he walks on right now.  
-Sharkbite: shit! Razz asked if he wanted to do some flamethrower shit sometime soon, and Edge wants ya do my room next!  
-snas: stay on topic please...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-snas: you screwed with my head and now Rus is asking what’s wrong with me. I hate you both.  
-Sharkbite: always happy to help!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Laxy Chat:  
\- slim jim: no wait. Razz is sticking by the fact rus asked first. Sorry sans  
\- snas: wait there gonna do my room???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-slimjim: it has been stated multiple times that Rus REALLY wanted to do your room next.  
-snas: I didn’t think he was being serious. Why doesn’t Razz do your room????  
-slimjim: if Stretch’s room was anything like both yours and Red’s, mine is an immaculate by comparison.  
-Sharkbite: Wait really?  
-slimjim: he said if I wanted to keep my spider I’d need to keep all snack wrappers in a trash bag. So I don’t have food particles everywhere.  
-Sharkbite: that worked????  
-Slimjim: well, I don’t want him to roast Monika with a flamethrower so....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
\- snas: really? Pet insurance keeps your room clean?  
\- sharkbite: probably doesn't want the spider to escape and hide in the wrappers  
\- slim jim: I think he already set a time for Rus to get to see and maybe use the flamethrower.  
-snas: wait what??? No. No.no.  
-sharkbite: Hahahaha! remind them to shut off the fire alarm.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Don’t tell anyone else, but my bro REALLY hates spiders. I take it you two are smart enough to keep that quiet given what’s happening to Stretch right now.  
-Snas: I’d be a bigger idiot then Stretch if I did.  
-Sharkbite: I can’t believe he let you keep a spider then if they creep him out that much.  
-SlimJim: He was trying really hard to be a supportive brother. I could tell it was killing him inside though.  
-Sharkbite: Didn’t stop ya from going through with it.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
\- SlimJim: Monika is my baby now.  
\- Sharkbite: Uh huh. Hey Coomic, when are the pancakes getting here? The two torturers have moved on to psychological torture.  
\- Snas: Paps won't let me shortcut back.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Wanna see pictures of her? She reminds me sooo much of my first spider. I don’t have any pictures of Webby though.  
*Proceeds to send 20 pictures of Monica before getting an answer.*  
-Sharkbite: .... very nice. Oh hey they are moving onto water drip torture!  
-Snas: I need to sneak home and get the important stuff out of my room...

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Rus and Comic arrive and see the two Fells have Stretch bound in a chair, next to a car battery with cables.*

Rus: ...... the pancakes are getting cold.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *Mumbling incoherently with the pear still in his mouth.*  
Edge: Og good, I could use a break.  
Razz: Demonstrating torture techniques really works up an apatite.  
Comic: And you’re.... okay with this Blue?  
Blue: I’ve been refereeing the whole time, and so far they haven’t HURT my brother, just made him extremely uncomfortable in every way imaginable.  
Stretch: *Groans tiredly.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: So far they have been describing how exactly the pain would feel if the went further. It’s quite interesting.  
Slim: Oh, gimme my pancakes.  
Edge: *Thinks no one notices how much he likes the smile on his pancakes.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: mmphhhphmmmmph!  
Blue: Sorry Papy! Of course you want to eat too. Let me just get this thing out of you mouth...  
Razz: Wait! Don’t twist the screw that-  
*Pop.*  
Razz: Way....  
*Blue and Stretch look down to see he opened it too wide the wrong way, and it popped his jaw completely out of socket and onto the floor.*  
Blue and Stretch: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Huff.* This is why I was a Professional Torturer. Easy rookie mistake. *Grabs the jaw and just ruthlessly puts it back in place.* Honestly, I can't tell how many people forget to take monster type into account! What works on a snowdrake won't on a pyrope!  
Edge: *eating his smiley pancakes * true. Thats very true.  
Stretch: Oh god. Oh my stars.  
Razz: Don’t worry Blue, that was a very easy mistake.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I-I-I... oh god Papy I’m so sorry! *Hugs him tight despite Stretch still being tied up.*  
Stretch: I think I just lost my appetite.... forever. (Shit he hasn’t eaten since before this began and he started out hungry XD)  
Edge: Have you never popped your bones out of socket before?  
Red: Or like, taken them off? *Proceeds to give middle finger before removing it from his hand.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: ..... why- how would you figure that out???  
Red: Pranks. *Starts a motion.*  
Edge: SANS DONT YOU DARE TAKE OF YOUR HEAD.  
Red: Gotta take the fun outta everything......

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Everyone looks over to Comic and Rus realizing how quiet they are. Rus has full eyeballs manifested with pancake falling from his mouth, while Comic has his eyelights out and is swaying a little.*  
Slim: ... a-are you two okay-  
*Crash.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ....what’s their problem?  
Slim: No idea. *Happily stabbing his smile pancakes.*  
Razz: I wonder if their orders don't taste good then?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Stretch quietly grabs his to go box and sneaks away while everyone is distracted. He is ready to GTF away from EVERYONE.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I must admit. That was extremely satisfying.  
Razz: Indeed. Shall we get beck to explain proper torture techniques?  
Edge: Absolutely. Wait, where did the Ashtray go?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: We are at his home where does he think he can run to?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Machine in the basement goes off.*  
Slim: ... apparently wherever he wants to.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I would laugh so hard if he ended up in swapfell. or Outertale.)  
Razz: Well, he will come back for Blue sometime.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god its like a Back to the Future moment where they get a letter and Stretch is either stuck in 1985 underground or somewhere in the old west with a random Dalorian that has become his best friend XD)  
(They get a letter saying “please god get me out of this shit hole”)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Idk where to send him or what AU Cuz my knowledge is limited after the 4 we’ve been using lol)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh sweet child. There is an infinite amount.)  
(Be back phone at 5%)


	8. Fever and Famine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More continuations!
> 
> Horror, cats, cuddles, and way too much backstory.

HomeHawk12  
Kk Lol  
(Let’s see, I’ve heard of Outertale, pretty sure that one is just Undertale but in space and a rocket ship. I’ve heard of dream and nightmare Sans though idk their backgrounds. I’ve also seen fanart of Glitch and Ink but I never got too interested in them)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Glitch is named Error and i love him, the bag of insane bones he is. Errors origin is Ask Error Sans, there's a YouTube movie of it. Dreamtale is great, they aren't actually Sanses though. Ink .... has an actual page from his creator somewhere. Outertale also has the Sans that can float. I highly recommend the Ask comic tho, the video only does the main story really. I love his crazy. Overtale is the regular Undertale but species swapped, magic humans under/monsters above, Frisk is a lil goat. Story shift and alter tale are cool. HorrorTale where its eat or be eaten, Frisk had killed Asgore and took the souls, core failed, starvation and in fighting from a food shortage, they eat fallen humans because no real choice after 10 years. DustTale, Sans got desperate to stop the kid tried getting lv, went lil crazy, snapped after killing Paps, 'sees' Pap’s ghost saying get more lv.)

Stretch: I have to get away- ...... where the fuck am I?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh shit I forgot about Horrortale! That is one I’m actually more familiar with, just slipped my mind lol)

Stretch: It looks like our old basement? But why is the machine in here?  
*The floor is dusty, covered in torn papers and cobwebs.*

  
(Oh shit he even brought his food container and everything XD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh shit poor Stretch. Still better than the mind fuck Story Shift or Alter Tale isn’t any safer tho.)  
(Oh no now I want him to bring the Horror bros home and feed them iHop)

Stretch: ......where? *Clutches his to-go box.*  
???: *With a lisp.* SANS DID YOU GO IN THE BASEMENT FINALLY?

(Blue is gonna feed them many tacos if Stretch survives)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(If not... Razz offered to share his brother XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(True true)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I think the Sans is called Axe and the Papy is Traps? I think)

Stretch: Uhhhhhhh....  
*The head of a Papyrus that has seen far better days peers downstairs. Mangled teeth and everything.*  
Stretch:......  
*Other Papyrus stares at him and then the to-go box, lumbering down the stairs looking like a crazed killer.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
( I've seen Horror, Axe, Mars, and Grey for Sans and Hunter, Sweets, Traps, Crooks, and Jupiter for Paps)

*Stretch is very intimidated.*  
*Traps peers at him.....*  
Traps: .....SANS I THINK WE HAVE A NEW FRIEND FOR DINNER.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I refuse to call this poor baby Crooks. That is just a mean name imao)

Stretch: .... honestly, I don’t think I’d be very nutritious... nothing but bone after all. *Tries to inch his way back to the machine.*  
Axe: *Shortcuts into the basement behind him.* Nonsense. You already brought the MAIN COURSE.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... th-the omelet? You guys can have it. And the hash browns.  
Traps: Why would I want ash grounds?  
Axe: ..... no Paps, hash browns. *Sizes Stretch up.*  
Stretch: Would it help to say I'm from another universe?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe:.... what?  
Traps: You’ll have to tell us all about the Univose place over food. Do you like snow? It’s a bit dusty but that’s all we have to drink.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Um... I got this soda if you would like it. Got a honey bottle for me..... and some ketchup packets.  
Axe: *Lil gasp noise..........ketchup?*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Where he get that honey bottle? I thought blue and Razz burned them all XD)

Traps: L-let me see that. *Takes soda shakily, careful not to spill any of it. Takes a sip, sockets going wide.*  
Traps: S-sans.... it’s real... it’s been so long since I’ve tasted soda but this is real!  
Stretch: R-really? That’s soda-pressing.  
Traps: ....  
Stretch: ....  
Axe:....... pffffttt!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch got some slipped from Comic, he felt bad)  
  
Stretch: Um. I just used the machine to go to a universe to .... um ... get away from some of my more... playful? Alternates. My bro really likes them, but they get intense.  
Traps: *Carefully plating the food.* REALLY?  
Stretch: Oh, you two can have it all. I have more at home.  
Traps: OH SANS HE IS SO NICE.  
Axe: *Was savoring the ketchup packets, eyelight blown.* .....hmmm?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s just a little cute bottle though, a little 2oz bear that’s easy to hide XP)  
(SO CUTE!)

Axe: So, out of all the places you could have gone, you chose this hell hole to hide out in?  
Stretch: Well, I didn’t really know where I was going. As long as it was not there, with Razz...  
Axe: Sounds like ya really hate the guy.  
Stretch: Well, he convinced my Bro to leave me stuck in a wall for a full day, torch my room with a flamethrower, and let him experiment on me with all the medieval torture devices he wanted.  
Traps: That all happened in a day?  
Stretch: Two days, but I’m just gonna lie low till everyone else leaves my home.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: ....ya don't.... look tortured.  
Stretch: Somehow. Everything that lil maniac did ended up actually beneficial? And his torture was mainly in the head. Just basically used me as a model for the gear. Even replaced my jaw when my bro tried to mess with one of the things. He was like a professional! And, just, he slapped it right on. AND he was adorable! So what?! I poked at his height a few too many times? And apparently insulted him in his culture.  
Axe: ....uh...huh...  
Traps: They sound so lively and nice Sans!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Imma guess Stretch is being confusing, but at least he admitted Razz is adorable XP)

Axe: I suppose ya can hang out here for a while, since ya fed us and everything. Though I recommend ya stay inside.  
Stretch: Why?  
Axe: Monsters are starving ta death, Empress Undyne’s sick in the head, and the dogs have killed trying ta get to our bones.  
Traps: U-Undyne is doing her best!  
Axe: .... just play along. He hasn’t been right in the head since.... fish bitch did that to him. *Points to his own teeth.*  
Stretch: Noted. I’ll keep that in mind.  
*Eyeing the massive crack in Axe’s skull, but says nothing.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch is venting his biased side of the story.)

Stretch: Ah. That’s.... not great. Hopefully you’re close to breaking the barrier?  
Axe: *Leaning in his chair.* Not since fucking Frisk. And we lost the containers. The soul breaks .... and we gotta eat. humans are all fleshy enough to let most people in town have a lil if I get to.... what was the word?  
Traps:*Carefully savoring the omelet and hash browns.* Hmmmmmmmm, doesn't the town call you the butcher now Sans? We do excellent work!  
Stretch: Um..... do.... you want to meet the others? It seems really dangerous here... I'm sure my bro will like you.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Idk what it was, but rereading that rant from Stretch this morning made way more sense then it did last night lol. “Everything he does ends up beneficial somehow” XP)

Traps: Really? You think they would really like us? We are pretty... scary to most. *Hides his mouth a bit under his scarf.*  
Stretch: If my bro is somehow okay befriending Razz of all skeletons, he wouldn’t have any problems with either of you.  
Traps: W-what do you say brother?  
Axe: Hmmmmmm.... will there be food?  
Stretch: Of course. We have plenty. Take as much as you’d like.  
*Axe imagines an entire handful of little ketchup packs. He hasn’t seen that much ketchup in ages, and it makes his mouth water.*  
Axe: Eh, I have no complaints.  
Stretch: One last thing. Be careful around the Fells. They get offended easily, and they hold grudges. They will probably want to demonstrate more torture methods on me when we return. *shudders*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: OH! should I bring my bone saws? I am quite proud of them! Would they like them?  
Stretch: .... probably? I wouldn't bring them though. They get trigger happy. And you won't have as much space to carry some food back.  
Axe: *Still day dreaming of ketchup.* Yeah?  
Stretch: I'm sure Comic can spare a bottle or two of ketchup at least.  
Axe: What? Really?!?  
Traps: What’s your Underground like?  
Stretch: Um, its nice and cheery. A little emptier after we got to the surface.  
Traps: OH MY. THE SURFACE?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: W-Wait... don’t humans have stores full of... isles and isles of condiments???? Any condiment I could ever want????  
Stretch: Technically yeah, you could go to multiple stores and buy as many condiments as you want.  
Axe: ..... Pap, we got any coins left or did we chew them all?  
Traps: I shall go check!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Axe is gonna be a happy boy, after getting food for his bro of course.)

Stretch: I’m sure my bro knows the best deals around. He'd be glad to show you. And somehow he got the tiny ball of rage to like him. Razz would keep you safe if Blue goes. And I can get him off my back.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: I’ll keep an eye on this Razz then.  
Traps: Brother! We kept the chewed ones! Will these be enough???  
Stretch: Humans don’t really use gold for currency. don’t worry about it. My bro is gonna be more then happy to break the bank to help.  
Traps: Oh goody! Let’s go!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*The trio use the machine and head back to Underswap, where Razz is coordinating a search for Stretch. For... safety measures. And Blue is a lil upset that his brother left. Its totally not because of the teary sockets. Just what anyone ex-Guard Captain would do.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Poor Blue and Razz I can’t)

Stretch: Why the long face bro?  
Blue: PAPY YOU CAME BACK!!!! *Tackles his brother in a tight hug.* I’m sorry brother! I promise I won’t let them use more tools on you. And you are only grounded from honey for three months now!  
Razz: You can’t just take it easy on him for running away!  
*Everyone notices the other skeletons peeking out of the basement. Axe has his hood up while Traps has his scarf hiding his teeth.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: Stretch, Blue was worried! And who are your friends?  
Stretch: Well, I went to a new universe-  
Blue: PAPY THAT’S DANGEROUS!  
Stretch: - and I found these two. I.... oh, I forgot to have you pick out nick names.  
Axe: ..... 'm Axe, then.  
Traps: OH! OF COURSE IF THERE’S A WHOLE BUNCH OF ME’S THERE WOULD NEED TO BE NICKNAMES! I’LL BE TRAPS!  
Axe: Heh.  
Blue: Hello! Would you like anything to drink? I'm Blue! This is Razz and his brother Slim, their world is like mine but meaner.  
Traps: OH. I would like a glass of water please.  
Blue: Rus! Can you introduce everyone else while I get some snacks?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: OF COURSE! NOW THIS IS EDGE! HE’S ANOTHER ME BUT SUPER PRICKLY!  
Edge: I AM NOT!!!  
Red: You kind of are Boss, don’t deny it. Call me Red by the way. I’m the funniest one in the house.  
Comic: You keep telling yourself that.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: OH! You all kinda of match your brothers! How cute!  
Red: ..... word of advice that Stretch hasn't gotten through his skull. Calling a Fellverse, me, my bro, and those two, cute is fighting words.  
Traps: OH I AM TERRIBLY SORRY!  
Axe: *Sizing up the skelies.*  
Razz: You didn't know, so it’s alright. You look a bit roughed up. Do you need healing? *Getting his firefighter vibe on.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: Oh! No, we are okay, we just... have some scars from our home world.  
Razz: I see, no worries then. You are among ‘friends’ in that department. *Motions to his own eye scar and smaller.*  
Traps: Brother! He has a head scar just like yours!  
Axe: Not as big as mine, but he does.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Yeah, I do have many scars. I don't let them stop me though.  
Axe: *Is now the tallest Sans.* Heh...  
Traps: *Notices the tools.* Oh! this is a lovely bear trap.  
Edge: I modified it myself!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I find it hilarious that the Sanses keep putting so much emphasis on their height. They are so vertically challenged it’s a touchy subject. Like, I always based their height on their living situations growing up (the Fells would have been victims of abuse/malnutrition which stunted their growth in the vertical direction) so I always imagine Comic and Blue being about as tall as a Sans can get at 5’4” or so. Though since Horrortale started out being Undertale I guess they would be pretty dang close XP)

Traps: PLEASE TELL ME MORE!  
Axe: So.... where do ya keep your condiments?  
Red: Ya got one in mind?  
Axe: I’m not picky when it comes down to them, though Ketchup is my personal fav if you have that.  
Comic: Oh buddy. *Passes him a bottle.* You and me are gonna get along great.  
Red: You ever try Natty Light?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(A drunk Horror is NOT A GOOD IDEA. And they ain’t gonna find anyone shorter but Sanses. Of course they are obsessed.)

*Razz and Edge start showing off the tools and how they used them on Stretch.*  
Axe: My Underground ran out a few years ago, is Natty Light good?  
Red: C’mon, have one and relax. This is a sugar sweet universe. Only asshole racists someplaces.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Good thing Natty Light is only 4.2% alcohol! Unless he can’t handle his Liquor at all)

*Axe takes a sip.*  
Axe: Huh, not bad at all. Not as strong as I would like.  
Red: Don’t need ta be. This is apparently a favourite among the inhabitants of Florida.  
Axe: What’s Florida?  
Red: The dick of America. Eyyyyyy!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: ..... so .... this is the surface?  
Red: Yeah. Interesting isn't it?  
Axe: ..... yep.  
Traps: The leather on the gag is so soft.  
Edge: I oil them myself!  
Traps: Do you prefer snares or dead falls?  
Razz: That’s a tough one.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You know, I did build a gauntlet not far from here, with all the death traps you could imagine.  
Traps: REALLY?!!! CAN I SEE???  
Razz: Why of course.  
Edge: I would like to see too, perhaps we can help each other improve our death traps.  
Razz: *Two tall ones, on his own, and they are LOUD. This was going to be exhausting.*  
R-right. Sure thing.  
Traps: THAT’S A WONDERFUL IDEA!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is doing a lot to make a good impression on the two new guys.* It’s one I had to work on to train the honey stick.  
Axe: .... this is nice.  
Red: Yep.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz is going to work himself into the ground trying to be extra good for the newbies. Probably suspects Stretch may have skewed their impressions already. Hopefully he doesn’t work himself to exhaustion lol)

Razz: *Opens the front door.* Would you like to join us Blue?  
Blue: Sorry! I started making lunch and Rus wants to help! I’ll meet up with you three later, unless you are done before hand.  
Razz: *Internal screaming at his lack of backup.* Slim?  
Slim: .... *snore*.... *is taking nap.*  
Razz: *Internal screaming intensifies*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Why won't people save me from this loud hell, brother how could you?!* Right. Ok. I can do this.  
*Marches back into battle.*  
Axe: Is that guy always ..... so intense?  
Red: Yep. Fun to poke at sometimes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god who do we follow from here? Switch between them I guess XD)

Traps: *Mouth gaping at the massive gauntlet.* WOWIE!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!  
Razz: Yes, I spent several hours on this with some assistance from Blue-  
Traps: I WANNA TRY!!!  
Razz: Good too see you’re excited.  
Edge: Don’t hog all the fun. Let’s see if these traps truely work. Shall we make it a race then?  
Traps: Best seven out of ten laps?  
Razz: *Internal scream intensifies.* Very well! I accept your challenge!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Poor Razz has been running himself ragged....)

*By the 9th lap the skeletons are breathing heavy. Razz having to compensate for his smallness vs the two giants.*  
Razz: I willl..... not be defeated!

Axe: So.... Razz is gonna drop soon.  
Red: Edge ain't much better off. Your bro did good.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Wait, are we working with typically healthy Razz or the sick one? I assumed healthy, but we were already going with him having his cat and being a firefighter so far... oh god)

Axe: Heh, and my bro’s the starving one. We literally just had our first meal in days when that Stretch guy shared.

Edge: *Huff*... what’s the matter? Are you getting tired already. *Not the best off but doing considerably better then Razz.*  
Razz: *Huff... wheeze*... I-I’m doing great! Never better! J-just... *wheeze*... give me one more l-lap and I’ll... *huff*.... beat all four of you! *Too stubborn to admit that his visions going blurry. He’s seeing doubles of the obstacles too.*

Axe: ... I really think we should stop them.  
Red: Why? Let them wear each other out.  
Axe: Cuz either the short ones bad at math or there’s a problem-  
Red: And there they go again.  
Axe: .... I’m just gonna stand closer... for when shit hits the fan.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Hold my beer. *Takes a last massive swig of his Natty Light before tossing it to Red.*  
Red: Whatever. *Brings it to his own mouth only to instantly get angry.* Hey! Don’t make me hold it if ya drank it all!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Hey guys, what I miss?  
Red: Not much. *Sips more of his drink.*  
Comic: Is there a reason Axe is joining the gauntlet?  
Red: Nope.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red no thats not what people mean when they say hold my beer, you don't steal sips)

*Axe ends up pretty much having to pull Razz away from the course and sit him inside.*  
Razz: *huff....huff*.... no I can... keep going. I wanna show ....em!  
Axe: Sit before you...hurt yourself.  
Razz: *Exhausted.* No.. I can-  
Axe: *Puts a blanket on him.* Nope. If you can resist the blanket for 20 minutes then you can leave.  
*Razz was out in 10.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Awww poor baby berry he can’t keep going)

*Slim wakes up to see Axe sitting at the one end of the couch while Razz is laid out on the other end tucked under the super plush blanket all sweaty and dead to the world.*  
Slim: Wait, my bro is sleeping? In the middle of the day?????  
Axe: He did nine and a half laps around that gauntlet thing outside. Poor guy was practically keeling over on the last lap.  
Slim: .... and he’s like this after only nine laps?  
Axe: Uhhhh, yeah? Nine is a lot of laps. Have you seen that thing? It’s massive.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ..... he usually can do 15 at least.  
Axe: He ‘bout dropped.  
Razz: *Soft snores.*  
Blue: *Holding a pillow.* Axe can you lift Razz’s skull? I brought a pillow for him

***

HomeHawk12  
(This scene is so cute it’s making my heart melt. They all fusing over this overworked baby)

*Axe does as asked, gently lifting his head so Blue could slide the cushion in place. He let his skull gently lull back down, Razz not showing any reaction whatsoever.*  
Blue: Wowie, he’s really out of it.  
Axe: ... he feels a little warm. We’re supposed ta be room temperature, right?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Aaaaaaaaaa. Axe the worry wort and mom friend)

Blue: ... I’ll get a thermometer. *Scampers off to fetch it.*  
Axe: *Keeps testing Razz’s temp, careful with his claws.*  
Slim: ... do you think he's sick? Or has been working too hard?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Probably got that way after the famine set in and Undyne screwed up his brothers mouth. Always worried about Traps health after that the poor guy)

Axe: Hard saying since I don’t know your bro, but one of those would be my guess. Has he seemed off recently?  
Slim: I-I mean. He’s been less energetic above ground then he was before we were freed, but he started acting like his old self as soon as I brought him here to meet the others. I-I just figured he just needed to get out more.... oh stars, what if I missed something?  
*Blue returns with the thermometer, sticking it in Razz’s ear hole to get a reading. He doesn’t react to the sudden invasion of his skull.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(That and Axe and Traps provide for the whole of Snowdin.)

Axe: I do know he needs some rest anyway.  
Razz: *Is so tired barely snuggles into his pillow after Blue removes the thermometer.*  
Blue: He is a bit too warm. Maybe he caught an illness?  
Axe: Let him try and sleep it off and if not we can hunt down a healer.  
Slim: *Sits on the floor next to Razz on the couch, his head level to Razz now, rests it near his bro.* ...okay.  
Blue: Here Slim, have a blanket and I'll get you two snacks. How's some ham, cheese, and crackers sound before lunch?  
Axe: Like you’re a lil blue angel.  
Blue: I didn’t know you were a flirty Axe!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: Kiddo, I am 100% honest.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Sorry, was just in an intense goat-yoga session)

Bookwyrm  
(No no you good! I just realized how forward I just made Axe)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Sorry! I literally set my phone down and it started calling. I didn't press the call button I swear!)  
(God dang Axe is desperate.... and self absorbed XD)

*Rus and Stretch peak out of the kitchen.*  
Stretch: Shit, the midget is napping. In the middle of the day even.  
Razz: *Soft snoring.*  
Stretch: ....damn, not even a growl.  
Rus: Is he okay?  
Blue: *Still trying to figure out what Axe meant cuz he’s oblivious as hell.* He just needs some sleep. He’ll be fine.  
*Slim hugs his knees nervously.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Not gonna lie pretty sure my phone is possessed since it likes opening up random apps when I set it down or calling people in my contacts... I’m not even butt dialling the thing has a flip cover)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: I guess we let him sleep?  
Stretch: Is it bad I like him better asleep?  
Axe: Cuz he can’t run ya to the ground?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: That, and he’s not yelling at me like I screwed up somehow. God he can nag worse then Blue-  
*Door burst open to two panting skeletons.*  
Edge: *Huff... huff*... I-I win!  
Traps: Clearly it was another tie!  
Edge: LIES!!!!  
Stretch: And here comes the noise again. So much for the nice quiet.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: Hey bro, did you have fun?  
Traps: SANS THEY HAVE A WHOLE OBSTACLE COURSE AND RAZZ DID SO MANY COOL ADJUSTMENTS!  
Axe: Sounds great.  
Blue: I got snacks, lunch will be done in a bit.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: THE SHARK TANK HAS FLAMETHROWERS NOW!  
Traps: AND THE FOOT GAME PUZZLE NOW DELIVERS SHOCKS!!!!  
Slim: Quiet please-  
Rus: WHO WANTS TO WATCH BLAZING SADDLES??!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Worried and stressed.* QUIET! MY BRO IS SLEEPING.  
Axe: *Had covered Razz’s ......ear?*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Holes.... acoustic meatus???? However it’s spelled XD)

Stretch: Should we put him somewhere else? Like a bedroom or something? He ain’t getting any peace down here.  
Comic: Or a different house? *Loud crashing from the kitchen.*  
Rus: SORRY!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Okay so I didn't want to type out Axe covered Razz's holes. Sounds dirty.)

Axe: *Picks Razz up gently.* Blue? Dis is your house right? Could he use your bed?  
Blue: OMG that would be adorable YES.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Axe is such a cute mom I can’t XD. Honestly I thought the ears with the question mark was funnier then actually saying hole lmao)

Slim: This will be great when he wakes up.  
Axe: Why?  
*Opens door to see glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, a big solar system mobile, a computer with star stickers and a custom rocket ship bed painted blue and gold.  
Axe:... oh.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: He’ll love it!  
Stretch: I think I got an old camera that can record his reaction somewhere....  
Blue: No, Razz burnt it. I saw its remains. *Pulls the blanket out.*  
Axe: It’s cute. *Gently places Razz in the bed.* There we go.  
Blue: *Tucks Razz in.* OMG he's adorable. Am I that cute Papy?  
Slim: *Follows them in to guard Razz.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Wait, do you still have... of course you do.  
*Rushes to Blue’s closet and starts digging, pulling out an orange astronaut onesie, with fake NASA patches and everything.*  
Blue: Oh, I forgot I had that.  
Slim: .... you’re a masochist, you know that?  
Axe: Wait.... you wanna stick the sick guy in that? Without his permission?  
Stretch: First off, it’s sleepwear. It should be worn by someone sleeping. Besides bro, you don’t wanna leave him sleeping in those gross sweaty clothes, right? He’s been wearing them since he first got here.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: You absolutely deserve all that Razz has done to you.  
Axe: .... yeah... I can see it now.  
Stretch : *Already started dressing Razz.*  
Slim: ..... if you insist, then at least let me do it as his bro. And give me some wet wipes or something.  
Blue: Letting Slim do it would mean I would get to keep my brother for a bit longer.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD Blue knows Stretch is gonna die. But he’s not saying no either....)  
(God they all wanna see him in it don’t they???)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He is the smol-est Sans)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Axe and Stretch wait in the hallway cuz Slim insisted. He decided to wipe off some of the dirt, smoke and sweat with a wet rag Blue provided.*  
Slim: That’s a little better. Dang, he usually doesn’t pass out this dirty.  
Blue: What do you mean?  
Slim: Back Underground I’ve seen him limp into the house drenched in mud, dust and blood, and the first thing he does is hop under scalding hot water before wound assessment... or literally passing unconscious walking between his room and the shower. The guys a clean freak that will sleepwalk into the shower.  
Blue: That’s.... pfft!  
Slim: What?  
Blue: He seemed so calm about the mess he left Stretch’s room in.  
Slim: Oh no, he can function when the mess is AROUND him (kind of), just not ON him.  
*Grabs the onesie after getting Razz’s dirty clothes off, revealing every deep scar and bone gouges, and subject number dremeled into his arm, all normally hidden. Slim doesn’t react to that at all, instead looking at the onesie.*  
Slim: Wait, this thing has a hood? Oh god don’t let him know there’s the button square on the butt. *Trying to hide his smirk at how cute this would be.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ..... *Is looking at the label gouged into Razz’s arm, the nicks around it show how long it has been there.*  
Slim: ... I'm totally blaming the pjs on Stretch when Razz wakes up though. Not gonna lie, he is going to be pissed.  
Blue: ...these are a lot of scars....  
Slim: He got most of them when we were younger. I know a lot were there before he took me in.  
Blue: *Looks sad at just how much Razz would have had to fight to get this many, with how good he is at fighting.* The pjs ... are pretty cute. Just look at him. ..... *gasp* .... I have a stuffed rocket ship! OMG it would complete the look!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Slim and Blue both ogle at how cute he is, looking like a little astronaut curled up around a stuffed rocket ship in the rocket ship bed. He’s still completely dead to the world.*  
Axe: Maybe we should put him in something more dignified before he wakes up? I mean... god dammit the rocket completes the look, but he was a Guard Captain, right?  
*Stretch taking several dozen pictures.*  
Stretch: This guy put me through hell. DON’T ruin this for me.  
Red: *Outside the room.* Yo, why are you guys taking so long??? The Paps are getting antsy.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .... Red you won't believe this.  
Red: *Pops his head in.* What are ya- ...... he's gonna kill you all, but damn. Lil fucker's adorable. *Text Boss to come up and see the kitten.*  
Slim: Who are you texting?  
Blue: What do you mean all of us are dead? It was Papy’s idea.  
Stretch: Ha. He won't kill me. Probably.  
Axe: ....*Gives Stretch a look like .... Axe knows the guy is playing with death.*  
Edge: Brother, I heard there was a kitten up here?  
Stretch: Why do you all get to call him cute, but I don't?  
Red: Cuz we can fight back and know not to say it in hearing range.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I don’t see any- Jesus Christ you are all going to die horribly!  
Everyone: No, Stretch is.  
*Edge trying desperately not to break out with sappy eyelights and a big smile at the cute. Razz looks like his own brother but adorable and not covered in mustard.*  
Edge: T-this is unacceptable. I cannot allow a fellow Guardsman to be humiliated in such a way.  
Stretch: Since when do you care?  
*Edge rummaging through the closet.*  
Edge: When we were bonding over torture instruments, with YOU as the test subject!  
*Comic, Rus and Traps poke their heads into the room.*  
Comic: thought we would see what the fuss is about.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: OH my god Sans look at lil Razzy!  
Edge: Blue, do you have anything at least dull or not cutesy? Never mind. Brother go get that pjs set I got you but you refuse to wear. At least Razz will have something fitting of a Captain.  
Red: .... Boss I don't want you around if he wakes up, no one will be safe.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: You will run home and grab those pjs or YOU will be the one in danger! Or, more specifically, your bedroom.  
Red: You wouldn’t dare....  
Edge: Is that a challenge?  
*The two stare each other down.*  
Red: .... fine, but your coming with me. It’s probably about time to feed the damn cat anyways.  
Comic: Awwww, too much of a ‘pussy’ ta feed it yourself?  
Red: Cut it Asshat or I’ll make you!  
Rus: DID ANYONE TAKE ANY PICTURES??? I want them!!!!  
Traps: ....  
Axe: Would everyone shut up! Jesus you’re all lucky he’s sleeping like the dead or we would all BE dead.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .......out please.  
Blue: Um. Yeah. Let Razz sleep. *Shoos the skelies off, minus Slim.* Red can you please make sure no one dies?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Don’t ask me! I’m supposed ta grab some new sleepwear.  
Edge: OH SHOVE IT!  
Blue: .... Axe, can you make sure nobody kills each other?.... Axe?  
*Axe is feeling Razz’s head again.*  
Axe: ... he’s getting warmer.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Hm. Maybe ... Papy can you get some ice packs?  
Stretch: Yeah...yeah.  
Blue: The pjs are the way to make sure no one dies Red. Please?  
Red: Whatever....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Thank you Red!  
*Red waddles to the basement mumbling profanities, the machine going off signaling he left.*  
Slim: *Moans worriedly.*  
Blue: Don’t worry. He’s survived a lot worse, right? He has the scars to prove it.  
Slim: Y-yeah... you’re right. Sorry...  
Rus: Sorry to bother you, but the food is done. I brought you three plates?  
Axe: Oh heck yes! You’re a doll.  
Rus: *Oblivious.* T-thank you?  
*Comic peers overtop of Rus’s back, seemingly not standing on anything, flashing his sockets warningly.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Axe has seen shit. Axe has no fucks for a lil no LV version of himself. Axe will appreciate any skele with food thank you very much.)

Axe: Oh surface stars is that a taco casserole?  
Blue: Yeah! Me and Rus made it together!  
Axe: Mmmmmmm... y’all are precious. *Most of the skelies eat in the living room with Slim eating next to Razz.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: .... so... this Blazing Saddles movie has a lot of racial undertones?  
Rus: WHY YES! IT USES COMEDY TO CALL OUT THE BS OF RACISM! KIND OF LIKE HUMAN RACISM TOWARDS MONSTERS!  
Comic: The jokes are also hilarious! I like Mongo myself.  
Rus: Of course you would Sans!  
Edge: .... I really want to try riding that ox now.  
*All having a good time eating.*  
Red: I’m back! Wait, you started eating without me!!!!

***

Bookwyrm  


Axe: Hey. No one wants to waste food here. Be pretty insultin'.  
Red: Yeah yeah, Boss? I got those fancy ass pjs.  
Edge: Good. You should give them to Slim. Then get something to eat. When we get home I want to look up rodeo and where to sign up.  
Red: .... what?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god please tell me there is a multiverse Papyrus that is super vegan and fights for animal rights cuz that would be great XDDDD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The only limit is your imagination)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XP I’m still waiting for someone to make “undergym” where everyone is literally body builders and ripped)

Blue: I’ll bring it upstairs. You go ahead and grab a plate.  
Red: Don’t have to tell me twice.  
*Blue admires the nice silk feel of of the deep maroon pjs. Opens the bedroom door.*  
Blue: Slim? I have the pjs. We should probably get him changed, yes?  
Slim: Y-yeah, I’ll get him changed...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Gets his rag doll bro in non genocide causing pjs.* There ya go bro.  
Razz: *Is a lil barnacle and grabs onto his bro, sleepily cuddling into him.*  
Slim: .... Blue I’m stuck.  
Blue: .... what do you- ....OMG you aren't allowed to move now.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Shittttt this is really painful on my knees-  
Blue: Moving now is illegal. I gotta get a pic of this!  
Slim: *Struggles into the bed so he’s laying comfortably with his koala brother hanging on tightly.*  
Slim: ...this is the second greatest day of my life.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The first greatest day was probably Razz taking him from Gaster)

Blue: *Gasp.* Papy won't believe this.  
Razz: *Soft little rumbling purrs* .......  
Slim: *Soft smile.* Yeah, my bro is the best at whatever he tries.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(That is correct! The day he was officially save from lab experiments by Razz)

*Blue pulls the covers over both of them, readjusting the ice pack so it stays on Razz’s head better.*  
Blue: Need anything?  
Slim: I think we’ll be okay for now. *Scratches Razz’s sweaty forehead, getting him to nuzzle deeper.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is probably having some weird ass dreams from being manhandled in his sleep. He is now all cozied up and pressed next to his brother. Soft lil purrs and snuggles*  
Slim: .... it’s so rare for him to be open like this.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(It just occurred to me.... the only thing better then an unconscious sick Razz is a conscious one that’s delirious, talking nonsense and somehow believes everything Stretch says XP)

(*Razz is dreaming that he’s Tarzan, being raised by clingy apes and swinging through space trees ^^*  
Blue: He was being really clingy last night. So were you actually. *Starry eyelights at the memory.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yeeeees. Maybe a delirious Razz telling Slim how much he loves his brother and while not realizing that he is talking to his brother. Then saying he would fight Slim if he didn't agree that Slim was great)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! Maybe getting all emotional too wondering where his old cell mates went from his lab days too, and crying over how beautiful the space bedroom is FVBHNJK)  
(Now he WANTS the onesie since he always wanted to be an astronaut but thinks he wasn’t smart enough, no way he could learn at 30)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Poor Razz and his dreams of the stars)

Slim: ... I mean... living with the knowledge that anyone can break in your house and try to kidnap your family probably causes that. And insecurity about keeping whats yours safe and with you.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue feeling guilty that Razz was forced to grow up so fast in such a horrible place and never got to feel safe or have a childhood.*  
Blue: Yes.... I suppose it would...  
Razz: .... mmmmm.... *Groans.*  
Slim: Bro?!  
*Razz peaks a socket open blearily, face flushed with purple magic and eyelight hazy.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: sshhhush 12...... ssshhhh.  
Slim: ....bro?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz *Struggles weakly thinking something’s wrong.*  
Razz: 12? W-what’s... going o-on???  
*Slim pulls away a bit.*  
Slim: 12? Who’s 12?  
*Looks to Blue for help.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue starts wracking his brain at the way he said that number.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I never knew anyone named 12!  
Slim: Um. Uh.  
Razz: ....don't worry.... 12 ......it shouldn't..... be bad..... tomorrow  
(Blue is not liking this)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ... 11 will be... okay.... Dr. G-Gears-on will save them... t-they’ll be... okay....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Blue is SUPER UNCOMFY NOW)  
Slim: .... oh shit I think.... oh. He might think he is with his old experiment group?  
Blue: Oh gosh.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I-uhhhh... Axe! Red! *Rushes to top of staircase trying to sound kind of calm.*  
Blue: C-can you come here... please?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yes. Two experienced trauma boys!)

Red: ... *Doesn’t move from his comfy spot.* Waz up baby Blue?  
Axe: *Actually gets up because he likes the soft angel versions that fed him and his bro. If he can help he will.* Something wrong...?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: S-something.... I’m not sure what to do right now....  
Axe: *Goes a bit fast, finding Slim and Razz in the same bed together.*  
Axe: .... I’m not drunk enough to deal with fontcest-  
Blue: That’s not what’s happening!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Razz is fevered and isn't thinking right, and I'm not a doctor and Papy barely got fevers and-  
Axe: Usually you wait fevers out, and if it gets real bad then go to a healer. Just keep him cool with ice and a loose blanket.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: .... he’s talking like we’re his old experiment group....  
Red: ... what?  
*Red teleported up to the room, sockets going dark.  
Slim: He keeps calling me 12....

Bookwyrm  
Red: .... tell me everything that you know. I don’t want to assume something was the same and trigger a panic attack or sumthing.  
(Don’t gotta, cuz that might be spoilers)  
(Wait Slim jim dunz know much)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Honestly, never originally had plans to go that far back in Heavy Rain so I think it's okay)

Slim: H-he just keeps calling me 12.... And said Dr. Gearson wouldn't let 11 die... He’s never told me much of anything about his lab days, I just know they are all dead... Oh! He said his first kill was at 5 years old! D-does that help?  
Red: It’s.... better then nothing.  
Blue: He mentioned having to kill a few of them to survive.... And being alone for a long time.  
Slim: .... Gaster was super abusive too.... to both of us....  
Red: That’s not a lot to go on.  
Slim: He never talks about his childhood though! I-I lived in the same house as him for a year... I remembered he and I got beat a lot and was always training! That's all I know!  
*Slim is starting to panic.*  
RAZZ: Shhhhhhh.... 12....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Wait.... S1 through S3 didn't live long out of suspension. Uh-  
Red: We’ll figure it out. Don't stress yourself. *At least that much is similar.*

(lol the problem when characters keep everything bottled up)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yup, no one knows how to help them)

Razz: Shhhh....we get to meet the new ones soon then it won't just be us ...anymore... I know you and 11 wanted to see the little bones........  
(Yes I am making it seem like 11 didn't make it that night and 12 died before '13' got to meet Papyrus)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Technically you are right, I kind of pictured 11 dying from an earlier test, and he lost 10 and 12 the same experiment he made his first kill on)  
(Sadly none of the ones after Razz in S group lived, so ”13” was the last success of his series)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Poor baby)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(And Slim was number 16 of his far less successful P series group. Much lower survival rates...)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(like probably didn't see another P low?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz knew of P series, had seen some of the earlier ones that didn't make it very long. They didn't live quiet as long as his Series... Slim came into existence after most of Razz’s group was dead (he still had 4, 6 and 7 around!... For a little while...))

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh nooooo, now i just see a lonely Sans..... his brothers all gone.... no one around..... and a small Papyrus catches his attention. Maybe a small hiccup or little giggle or a tiny sob caught his attention. Sans... really misses someone to sit near at the very least)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(While he was living at Gaster’s, he had been there for a few years when Slim, the last P series survivor, was brought to the house as a possibility to succeed Gaster with hopefully a soul powerful enough to simulate a humans (it wasn’t). Razz was the scary prodigy that survived somehow, a terrifying monster that.... actually looked really sad and lonely. Then Razz was like, “Who’s the punk that moved into the closet?! Let me at them..... oh god he’s a baby.”)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz ............ after a few days claimed the baby as his. that is baby his now)

Razz: *Clutching Slim.*shhhh...... you’re okay......

***  
HomeHawk12  
(A year later, baby get dragged back to the lab  
Razz: You think this will stop me?!)

Slim: ... y-yeah bro.... who are the little bones?  
Razz: Uhhhhh.... 14 and.... the new ones....  
Red: That would be your group.  
Slim: O-ohhhh.....  
Blue: You remember all this?  
Red: Couldn’t afford to stay oblivious like you Tales. They let you be kids, right? We weren’t.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(mother fucking Gaster thinks he can take my new brother away? F-fuck him!)

Blue: Oh......  
Red: I can only imagine that Razz would try to comfort his brothers, hopefully he just thinks ‘12' can't sleep.  
Slim: I never saw them, just Razz and how powerful he was compared to me. Always taking whatever was thrown at him and spitting it back out.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Well, if we are following my universe, 14 and 15 didn’t make it, then the P series was started.... that didn’t go as well.  
Blue: What happened after?  
Red: Well, I became Dr. Gaster’s lab assistant and had a direct hand in the P series of my world, and little Boss.... so that’s already a massive difference between our timelines. I don’t know where the differences started.  
Blue: Axe? W-was that similar in your universe? You becoming Gaster’s lab assistant.  
Axe: .... yeah, so I assume the same happened with Comic.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: How about you Blue? Maybe if we piece together what I know, what Red knows and what you know in our histories we can get an idea of what Razz might have done.  
Red: It wouldn't be exact but... Blue what happened with your Gaster?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: W-well... the others just sort of fell.... researchers didn’t tell me much, just that they had fallen down and to keep working with Dr. Gearson. Then when everyone else was gone, Gaster told me I was monster kinds greatest hope for breaking the barrier... my soul was supposed to replicate a humans, but it didn’t....  
Red: So he took you to live with him?  
Blue: Yeah, Gaster said he would raise me to be his successor as Guard Captain, then Papy came to live with us a few years later and we became inseparable. Eventually Gaster stopped training me as his successor, saying if I didn’t like fighting then that was okay....  
Red:....  
Axe: ....  
Slim: .....  
Red: This may be harder then we thought.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .... Gaster was very cruel and cold sometimes. i know Razz had to kill at 5.  
(Did Slim have to fight for his name too?)  
Blue: Maybe just .... say everything will be okay and comfort him?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Nope, Razz called him puppy as a nickname when they were living together, so when he adopted him he gave him a similar sounding name. I Actually did go into this much in another story! Slim has the privilege of more background exploration then Razz hghjkjjk)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(oooooh once i got more sit down time ll read it)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s in the same series Heavy Rain is a part of Lol. Lots more brother fluff there)

Slim: I-it’s okay bro.... let’s go back to sleep, ok?  
Razz: .... k.... that’s.... *snore*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(OMG YEEEEES)

Razz *Has his head tucked, showing throat, a very vulnerable position Razz normally wouldn't be in.*  
(dammit i switched to laptop and i keep hitting enter prematurely)  
Axe: ... well... it looks like you have some stuff to ask him when he wakes up

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD it happens)

Slim: W/wait, you think he’ll be like this later?  
Axe: Usually takes a day or more to break a fever. Doubt he’ll be very sensible in the morning either.  
Slim: *Whimpers.*  
Red: We should probably warn the others.  
*Blue steps out into the hallway, seeing Stretch seated on the floor looking at the ground, eavesdropping.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Brother.  
Stretch: Hey... bro um  
Blue: It’s not nice to eavesdrop.  
Stretch: .......  
Blue: If you wanted to know you could have come in or asked.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: I know... I just.... didn’t know that about Red either.  
Blue: He probably would have told you if you came in.  
Stretch: Does his own bro even know?  
Blue:...  
Stretch: ... so I just appeared one day?  
Blue: Yeah... sorry, I was a lot more oblivious then the other me’s.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... I think I prefer random baby to what Razz and Red got.  
Blue: You know I think even with all our differences..... we all love our brothers a lot.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Heh, I guess your right. Just so ya know, the younger ones feel the same.  
*Smiles at each other, only for Red to ruin the moment.*  
Red: If you’re done spying and being sappy, we’ve got more people to explain things to.  
*Stretch is reevaluating everything he thought about the Fells, and Razz.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ..... ok! i can do that! *Rushed off, thankful to feel useful.*  
Red: ..... welp. That happened.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: ... Yep.  
Red: You just gonna sit there all night?  
*Stretch shrugs.*  
Stretch: Haven’t decided yet.  
Red: You could sleep it off in your new and “improved” room.  
Stretch: ..... I’m not talking to you right now.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay I’m falling asleep rn lol. To be continued)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(o. yes i just dozed myself)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue explains everything to the skeletons downstairs. Edge decides to head home for the evening so he can take care of Doomfanger. Comic and Rus also head out since the house is already really crowded, and Rus wants Traps to come too for a sleepover.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: *A little self conscious.* Are you sure? I .... don't want to leave my brother, he has memory issues sometimes and I.... think he might stay here in case he can help with Razz...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: I won’t force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with, but just know you are more then welcome to join my brother and I at any time! You have my number now!  
Traps: That is very true! I am so happy to have met you!  
Rus: And we will hang out again very soon! Now come along brother!  
Comic: See ya guys, and try not to stay too under the weather. *Wink.*  
Rus: SANS I SWEAR-  
*Machine goes off signaling there departure.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: .... well! .... I should.... check on Razz? .... or ... maybe clean a little?

Axe: Blue you can leave Razz with Slim, Slim can call us if he needs to.  
Blue: *Worried.* I just... don't want him to be sick!  
(Oh no Blue and Axe are the parent friends)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Hey now, don’t worry yourself. Everyone gets sick at some point, it’s a part of living.  
Blue: It doesn’t stop me from being worried....  
Axe: Well, you and Traps could always make soup for when he wakes up? That stuff always made me feel better, back when we had soup.  
Blue: That’s a good point ! I-I’ll go ahead a chop some veggies.  
Axe: Heh, ya really are too good for this world Angel Cakes.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I! Haven't baked anything? But I can get your brother and we can make chicken noodle soup!  
Axe: Sounds great.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Obliviousness for days XD)

back upstairs  
Slim: .... dammit.  
Red: What?  
Slim: I forgot about my bro’s cat. It’s probably really hungry.  
Red: Maybe you should just bring the dumb thing over if you guys are staying for a while longer.  
Slim: Could you get it then?  
Red: I’ve literally never been inside his house. Pretty sure it’s gonna have to be you.  
Slim: That means I’ll have to leave Razz alone...

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: ......*Damn his soft spots for Papyri.* .... I’ll watch the tiny jawbreaker. You tell Blue and I’ll stay here.  
Slim: Y-you sure?..... thanks Red.  
*Slim heads off to tell Blue.*  
Red: *Looks at Razz.* ...huff.... you’re a little ball of drama ain’t ya?

*Blue is showing Traps his chicken noodles soup.*  
Slim: Hey Blue? Can I grab Lord Hater and bring her over while my bro is sick?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(With that comment from Red I’m now ready to make him VERY uncomfortable)

*Blue’s eyelights turn to massive stars.*  
Blue: OF COURSE YOU CAN!

*Upstairs, Razz starts whimpering lightly realizing his snuggle source is gone, and he’s all alone.... Again....  
Razz: 12...?  
Red: ...?  
Razz: .... 12.... *sniffles...* d-don’t leave me too....  
*Red’s eyelights go out.*  
Red: Shittttttttt...

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red is very very VERY NOT prepared. Pfft.)

Blue: omg traps I have heard so much about Lord Hater! I am so excited!  
Traps: ....... who?  
Blue: Razz’s adorable cat!  
Traps: OH! A cat? I haven't seen a feline since Burgerpants disappeared and Hotland was a no go zone.  
Blue: I cant wait!

Red: Un. ...... uh.... *Sweat drops.*  
Razz: *Whimpers... pulling at Red’s soul strings* no.....no .....please.....12!  
Red: .... damn it. *Barely sits next to Razz when the smol skelie, without hesitation, puts his arm around Red’s waist and pretty much curls into Red’s lap* ...... ooookay....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: *Sweating more then Razz and breathing heavy trying to calm down.*  
Red: Uh.... you’re okay... *Trying to talk to him like he would a baby Edge.*  
Razz: p-please don’t go again.... *sniffles* I don’t want to be alone. *Starts getting Red’s jacket wet with tears.*  
Red: Uhhhhhhhh... there there???  
(Oh god did someone try to eat burger pants??? Given his name is... “burger pants” XD)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Slim comes back carrying a liter box, food dishes, and Lord haters carrier.*  
Blue: There you are! It’s been over an hour. Is everything okay?  
Slim: Sorry it took so long. Lord Hater was being stubborn about getting in the carrier. How’s my Bro?  
Blue: Not sure. It’s been really quiet upstairs.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .... now I got purple smears on my favorite jacket.  
Razz: ........ *Starts a small purr.*  
Red: You little suck up.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Slin peeks into the bedroom seeing Red seated on the bed suppressing a yawn while Razz is gripping his waist tight with face buried in his jacket.*  
Slim: uhhhhhh  
Red: *Gives him the middle finger.*

*Blue and Traps are in front of the pet carrier, Axe watches from the still standing pillow fort.*  
Blue: So do we just.... open it?  
Traps: I-I think so. Hi kitten!  
Axe: So, just to clarify, we AREN’T eating the cat, right?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blus: No. Razz would probably kill us all slowly if you did. Thats his baby even if he won't say it.  
Axe: ....ah. Alright then...  
Blue: You know later we can get some chickens or something for you to take back. Maybe seeds or something too. And some canned stuff.  
Traps: *Puts a long finger in the cage.* Here kitty kitty kitty.

Red: He was crying in his sleep Slim. Like Bods used to when he was a baby bones.  
Slim: .... do you want to see Lord Hater?  
Red: Yeah, anything to get away from this.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Red tried to get up, only to realize Razz isn’t coming off. He accidentally hooked his wrist and finger bones to tangle up his arms around Red’s waist.*  
Red: ..... shiiiiiitttt.  
Slim: Do you need a hand?  
Red: For the love of god yes.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Slim is unable to get Razz off. Razz has tightened his grip on Red.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Sorry. I think you’re stuck for a while.  
Red: .... ya owe me big time for this, ya know that?  
Slim: At least you’re have an excuse to sleep now, right?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .........  
Slim: ..... I can stay too?

Blue: *Release the beast.* Here kitty kitty Lord Hater.  
Axe: .....Lord ......Hater...?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lord Hater sticks tiny orange head out of carrier, sniffing Trap’s fingers  
Lord Hater: ..... meow?  
Traps: HELLO!

*Slim crawls onto the small twin bed by Razz’s other side. Red adjust himself to a laying position. They are creating a Razz sandwich.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ....'leven? you...... you k?  
Slim: Um ... yeah... now sleep ok?

Traps: *Petting Lord Hater.* Look at you! Awwwwww!  
Axe: Think you can help Razz out by looking after his cat fer a bit bro?

***  
HomeHawk121  
Traps: Of course brother! We need to feed her something too, she’s so tiny!  
Lord Hater: MEOW!  
Traps: She likes that idea!

Razz: Okay.... glad you came back....*snore*  
*Slim feels a tremendous amount of sadness and guilt for these brothers he never met, but Razz clearly cares deeply for.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I got some wet cat food, lets feed the cat and then we can use this feather toy!  
Axe: *Settles to snooze on the couch, .... a possible target for mischievous cats.*

Slim: ... it’s weird thinking Razz has had other brothers in his life besides me.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Technically you did too, though ya probably didn’t have much time ta bond.  
Slim: We never got to get very close with each other... I just remember the rumors of the S Series prodigy. Everything else is a blank.  
Red: Yeah, Edge was really young.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz looks so vulnerable with the pjs and scars on display.*  
Slim: .... I wonder if he'll ever tell me more?  
Red: There’s a lot of shit i never told Boss, I wouldn't hold out on it.

*Blue introduces Traps to the laser pointer.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Would you tell me?  
Red: What?  
Slim: I’m not from your world.... and I don’t know much about my own time I’m the Lab.... just a few bad images... and feelings.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Look Slim... I don’t know if it would be anything like your world. That might just give you the wrong assumptions.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Razz wasn’t really around when I was created, but you said you had direct involuntary with the P series of your world... i just want to know why my brothers and I failed so spectacularly...  
Red: ... honestly, I don’t think you guys were failures at all. Boss was the best thing that ever happened ta me. Even if he grew up to be an ass, I’ll stand by that statement even if it kills me.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*While this very emotional conversation is happening, Lord Harter notices Axe sleeping on the couch. Leaping up on the back, she spots a conveniently sized crack in the top of his skull that she might be able to hide inside...*

***  
Bookwyrm  
...........  
*Blue comes back from the other room. ...... sees two eyes from horror's skull that aren't eyelights. And a cat butt too.*

Slim: ..... I just hope... that he ..... I dunno. He just looks so vulnerable right now. I-I’ve never seen him so .... not capable?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Heh, even the toughest of us have our moments. I ever tell ya about the time Boss came down with a case of the rattles?  
Slim: No?  
Red: Let me tell ya what, he somehow manage to vomit everywhere without a stomach, and he kept spontaneously crying and talking nonsense. Funniest shit I’ve seen in ages! Kept calling me a clone too!

***  
Blue: Lord Hater! Get out of there!  
*Cat pokes her face a little ways out of his eye socket, getting her collar caught on a cracked bone.*  
Blue: Wait don’t panic-

***  
Bookwyrm1  
(I recognize that. I can’t remember where)

Blue: OMG Traps..... Traps, how do I get the cat out???  
Traps: Neither of them seem bothered and they aren't hurting each other.  
Blue: I don't think that’s healthy.

Slim: .... it’s just weird to see Razz as ..... not impenetrable. He always has this powerful feeling and lately.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I know I wrote a story of a similar premise with Boss a while back. You may have seen it somewhere else though? Idk)

Red: Lately what?  
Slim: I don’t know... he just can’t seem to catch a break back home, and between all the shit that’s happened he just feels extra guarded and.... drained? He doesn’t have the same go getter energy that he once had.  
Red: Probably thought the surface would be better then the Underground, then was reminded of how much life really sucks.  
Slim: Maybe.... I think it’s more then that though, I just don’t know what.

Blue: Okay, m-maybe if I just put my finger here and pull.  
Lord Hater: Hiiissssssssss~  
Blue: Well, I can’t leave you in there.  
Axe: ..... *Groggily.* Shaddup already....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Like the evil clone bit and like the Swaps teaching fluffy healing methods or something)  
Blue: .....A-axe? Um. The cat is ..... in your skull?  
Axe: Lord Hater ain’t ......hurtin’ no one. Lemme sl....eep.  
Blue: That’s? Not sanitary?

*Razz shifts around.*  
Slim: ..... I guess I'm just worried. I mean, he just probably needs to get settled and humans to stop being speciest? .... racist is probably the better word.

*(Slim and Red having a real talk while Blue is dealing with Cat In The Skull???)*


	9. Turning Up The Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Discord! Razz deals with fever and Skelies deal with Razz.

HomeHawk12  
(Yep! That’s the story lol)  
(Two VERY different energies right now jghffdf)

Slim: Things had especially gotten bad after the whole police beating....  
Red: Wait, what?  
Slim: Oh shit.... can we forget I let that slip?  
Red: Afraid not. You got the law against ya too?  
Slim: Yeah.... he got shot and beat up by a few officers.... I had to pick him up from jail.....  
Red: Jesus Christ.  
Stretch: Hey.... mind if I join you? *Sticks his head in the room, not able to sleep.*  
Red: No room on the bed. Afraid you’ll be taking the floor.  
*Razz opens his sockets blearily while the conversation is happening, not really understanding where he is or what’s happening. Nothing is familiar and the other subjects sound funny, and a tall dark, intimidating figure entering through the door. His hands are still tangled around Red.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh fuck he'll think that’s Gaster.)

Razz: *Flares his eyelights and forces himself up to sit straight, hiding all weaknesses he can.*..... Gaster? . . .  
Slim: Bro what are you doing? *Tries to get Razz to lay down.*  
Red: *Got pulled in by Razz as he sat up.* Hey, stop that, if you can handle getting shot you can stay in bed.  
Slim: That’s not-  
Stretch: Did I come at a bad time?

Blue: ..... Axe I have to insist on getting the cat out of your skull.  
Axe: Look sweet roll, just let 'em be.  
Blue: No I can't just let it be. *Reaches for the cat and Lord Hater baps at Blue’s hand, the paw reaching out of the socket and smacking Axe’s nose hole.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: ... heheheh... careful kitty, you’re gonna make me sneeze- ah... ah.... AHHH!

Raz: C-C... Captain Gaster.... I-I-  
Stretch: Wait, why are we talking about dad?  
*Razz bows his head down in submission as soon as Stretch steps too close... or he got woozy. He’s starting to rattle a bit.*  
Slim: Stretch, sit on the ground or leave.  
Stretch: R-right. *Hits the floor.*  
Slim: It’s okay bro, he’s not gonna hurt us.  
Razz: S-shhush... h-he’ll beat us.... he came so close... h-he’s going to kill us for...  
Slim: What?  
Razz: I-I convinced him we didn’t need to kill... *sob*... a-and now he’s... dead.... *hic* He’s dead like the others.  
*Starts getting too overwhelmed with fear and he can’t hide it. His sockets start leaking purple tears onto the mattress.*  
Razz: I-I messed up with Eleven.... h-he’s gonna kill me for it.... I’m sorry I got him k-k-killed..... *sob.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razzzzzzzzy noooo)

Razz: *Hiccups with sobs.* 'leven I'm *hic* sorry.... it should...of been me.... I thought ... but... but why did I... ever think Captain would?  
Stretch: *Is very out of his element realizing that this is not something he can help all the much with.*  
Slim: *Is not liking this one bit, super not into this, oh boy.* Razz it's okay. Brother you’re ok. He can’t get you. S-Sans? Please, you're okay bro. *Desperate “please help” look at Red.*  
Red: *Uhhhhh.... what do you expect from me???* .... hey ... uh Razz? ..... um. *Tucks blanket around Razz hoping that will work.*

Blue: ..... Axe. Please remove the cat.  
Traps: Brother I want to play with the kitty again, I found string!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: I-I’m Sorry Twelve... *wheeze*... I lied... *hic*... ‘levens not okay.... Cuz... *sob*... he DIED.... I *hic* watched him die and did nothing! *Bones rattling violently is a deep panic. He’s inconsolable.*  
Slim: Ummm, I-I-  
*Red tries radiating a reassuring energy from his soul, letting his socket glow a soft crimson. Slim looks up questioningly.*  
Red: Do you have any better ideas? Either help me out or stop judging!

Axe: ACHOOO!!!!!  
*Head throttles forward, cat shoots out like a projectile at high speeds right into Blue’s face.*  
Blue: GAAAAAAHHHHH  
Lord Hater: *Claws dig right into Blue’s face.* MmmmRRRRROOOOOOWWWW!!!’

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Um... *Tries to do the glowing too, but it doesn't seem all that strong.*  
Stretch: *Realises what the two were doing.* I can try. *Slowly shifts over and does a better job than the Fells at it, but still doesn't console Razz.*  
Red: What the hell are we supposed to do?  
Stretch: Maybe we should get my bro?  
Slim: Maybe?  
Razz: *Tightens his grip as if afraid to let go and never be able to hold again.* Twelve don't- don’t leave too. I'm sorry I-I didn't do more, but .... please please don't..... don't follow 'Leven to dust... please don't leave.  
Red: Uh... I wont? I wont leave? *Is this what he wants???*

Blue: Lord Hater no! bad kitty! I am not a scratching post!  
Traps: *Had grabbed some lunch meat from the fridge to entice the cat out, but arrived too late, now Traps has a begging cat and a slightly damaged Blue. ..... and a giggling brother.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Substitute clone brother help!)

*Traps is feeding the hungry kitty while Blue is trying not to cry from his comically pulsing red scratches.*  
Blue:.... ow.  
Axe: Heheheheh!!! That was amazing!  
Blue: .... well, I suppose she is out of your skull now-  
Stretch: Bro! Can you come up here... right now would be great!  
*Stretch yells over the banister getting everyone downstairs to finally go quiet. They can now hear the terrified sobs from the bedroom.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Everything is better with Blue, just everything)

Blue: Traps ,can you make sure Lord Hater doesn't get into mischief while I go see what they need?  
Traps: I would love to watch the not food noble beast!  
Blue: Thank you! *Scampers upstairs.*

*Razz is sobbing while three skelies have no idea how to help. Blue plz work your magic.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: What happened?!  
Stretch: I-I don’t know?!  
Slim: S-Stretch came in and Razz mistook him for Captain Gaster. He’s been a mess since and we don’t know what to do!  
*Razz is still clutching a very uncomfortable Red rattling and sobbing uncontrollable.*  
Razz: *Hic. * I-I’m sorry I -*Wheeze. * I lied.... please don’t l-l-leave me too.... Twelve, I’m sorry....  
Red: I said I wouldn’t already! I mean, I’m not going anywhere, so please stop crying.... please?  
*Red still trying to comfort him with his magic but it’s not working. He looks to Blue desperately.*  
*Blue moves right away after a short assessment. He crawls onto Red legs so he right by Razz.*  
Blue: Hey Sans.... Thirteen?  
*Saying the number gets Razz to stiffen a bit.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... Eleven? What.... how...?  
Blue: Captain Gaster isn't here okay? We can rest a bit.  
Razz: I.... thought..... I saw...  
Blue: It was a bad dream, let’s go back to sleep.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue places a hand on his chest and starts radiating safe, calming intent. It starts taking affect immediately, Razz’s sockets getting droopy.*  
Blue: Hey Ten, could you make room please? *Motions for him to hop off the bed and make room.*  
Slim: O-okay.  
*Carefully crawls off while Blue strokes Razz’s head gently.*  
Blue: See, it was just a bad dream. Let’s just lay back down and go back to sleep. We can relax for a while.  
*Slowly pushes Razz back into a laying position, his tangled arms dragging Red down with him. Blue gently strokes his skull and lays down on Razz’s other side.*  
Razz: J-just a dream... *sniffle*.... I-I.... Sorry for waking you...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Shhhhh. It's okay. Isn't that right Twelve? We aren't mad or upset, right?  
Red: N-no, not at all. it’s all ok, ya hear?  
Blue: *Motions for him to help comfort a still lightly rattling Razz.* See? Nobody is gonna hurt us. We are completely safe.  
Red: Yeah, what he said.  
*Red starts stroking Razz’s side ribcage, trying his best to mimic Blue’s movements.*

Bookwyrm  
Razz : *Starts drifting off ... still really hot and feverish.*  
Blue: ......

Downstairs.....  
*Lord Hater is back in the skull.*

HomeHawk12  
(Plot twist, Axe lets the cat in there because he's tired of being an ”airhead”...  
I will see myself out now)

Slim:... Stretch. *Motions to the doorway. Stretch nods, the two keeping low to the ground and crawling out of the room so Razz won't spot them.*  
Blue: *Gently hums It's ‘Raining Somewhere Else’ and puts the ice pack back on Razz’s head. After a good ten minutes he start lightly snoring again.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Traps was not impressed. Axe... Heh.)

Slim: ... Um. How are you so good at that Blue?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Shhhhh, we can talk in the morning. Now is time for rest.  
*Stays in his laying position at Razz’s side not abandoning Red, giving Slim a reassuring smile.*  
Stretch: It’s official. Either my brother is the coolest Sans, or he's a witch. I'm leaning towards both.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Stretch definitely abandons Red to be a pillow. He takes a picture. Totally gonna show Edge. As he heads downstairs.......*  
Stretch: ..... Uh. Ya got .... a cat in your... um. Skull.  
Axe: Yup.  
Stretch: ..... uh.....okay...?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Traps keeps dangling food at various holes around Axe’s skull, that cat poking either a paw or its head our to snatch the food before retreating back into his head. She has enough room to turn around and peer at Stretch through the skull crack.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Doesn’t that hurt?  
Axe: Nah. Tickles a lil bit.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch:.... Huh. Neat.  
*Sits on opposite end of the sofa.*

Papyruses Only Chat, No Sanses Allowed!!!:  
-Ashtray: Edgelord! You’ll never believe what your brother is doing right now.  
-Edgelord: You underestimate the number of unbelievable things I’ve caught my brother doing.  
*Stretch sends the picture of the three Sanses cuddling in Blue’s bed, Razz’s arms visibly tangle around Red’s torso.*  
-Edgelord: .... You’re right. I don’t believe it.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Pap Chat:

-FlyingSpaghettiDude: SHOULD I SEND MY SANS TO JOIN THE PUPPY PILE?  
-Pup-ryus: Nah Rus,I'm with them and I dunno if we can find another hallucination for him. My bro seems to be fighting off a bad fever.  
-Edgelord: Did you blackmail my brother?  
*Ashtray has added TrapSnap.*  
-TrapSnap: Uh Stretch gave me one of his old phones to use, is this for all Papyruses?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Pap Chat:

-Ashtray: Yep. Papyruses only.  
-Pup-yrus: We all have our own little chat groups. Wouldn’t be surprised if Red and Blue are communicating with each other through the Sans one.  
-Edgelord: You haven’t answered my question.

-Ashtray: Honestly, I’m still calming down from Razz’s latest episode. That was a bit too much for me to deal with. I’ve barely thought about blackmail yet.

***  
Bookwyrm  
-Edgelord: I never thought I'd see my brother so uncomfortable. And Razz is ... a cuddle bug? I would almost think it’s been tampered or something.  
-Ashtray: Edge I don't think anyone would make a fake photo of Red.

***  
HomeHawk12  
-Trapsnap: Why?  
-Ashtray: Red is the one that you never wanna piss off, unless you want to be vaporized. There are a few buttons you don’t press with that guy.  
-Pup-ryus: Wait, you practice restraint with Red but not my Bro?  
-Ashtray: Not really. We’re just cool enough with each other that we are insulting both ways.  
-SpaghettiDude: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU GUYS WERE SUCH CLOSE FRIENDS.  
-Ashtray: Not close enough for me to bail him out of that mess.

Meanwhile in the Sanses Chatroom (excluding Razz Cuz he was never invited):  
-Sharknado: Comic ya gotta get me out of here.  
-Sansypansy: ?  
-Sharknado: I’m being actively strangled by Razz and his presence is burning holes into my spine!  
-Sansypansy: Really? Now you’re just overreacting.

***  
HomeHawk12  
-BlueBerry: Red, go to sleep.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I love the chats.)

-Sharknado: Dude you don't have his claws in your spine!  
-BlueBerry: At least I can handle sick skeletons without freaking out.  
-Sansypansy: What?  
-BlueBerry: *Sends selfie of the three Sanses on the bed with Slim half cut off in the pic.*

Tol Boy Chat:  
-Pup-yrus: You do realize my bro would have killed you if it wasn't for Blue right?  
-Ashtray: He wouldn't really kill me.  
-Edgelord: Oh, so you are suicidal then.

***  
HomeHawk12  
-Pup-Ryus: That or a masochistic.  
-TrapSnap: What’s that?  
-SpagettiDude: I DONT KNOW?  
-Edgelord: I am NOT explaining that!  
-SpagettiDude: That’s okay, I’ll ask Sans!  
-TrapSnap: GOOD IDEA!  
-Everyone Else: NO!!!!

Smol Boy Chat:  
-Sansypansy: Do I want to know what happened?  
-Sharknado: No.  
-BlueBerry: You know how Razz was suffering from hallucinations before you left? He woke up with a particularly bad episode...  
-Sansypansy: About what?  
Sharknado: “Daddy dearest” and the lab days. Like WAY back with the other subjects.  
-Sansypansy: Ohhhhh.  
-BlueBerry: Let’s just not tell him about it when he’s better.  
-Sharknado: IF he gets better.

***  
Bookwyrm  
-BlueBerry: Red that’s not positive thinking!  
-Sharknado: Look he is ‘bout chipping HP off me with how hard his claws are digging into me. If I dust Boss is gonna dust him, fever or not.  
-Sansypansy: Oh god Paps just asked me what a masochist is...  
-Sharknado: HAHAHAHA!  
-BlueBerry: Stop actually laughing you'll wake Razz.

Real World:  
Traps: Sans what’s a masochist?  
Axe: ..... Paps, it’s when you like to be hurt and get off on it.  
Stretch: I’m not a masochist.  
Axe: from what I've seen your a brat.

Tall Chat:  
-SpaghettiDude: Sans hasn't answered yet.  
-TrapSnap: My brother says it’s people who like pain in a sexual way.  
-SpaghettiDude: That’s Stretch.  
-TrapSnap: And that Stretch is a brat.  
-Edgelord: Pffft. Axe knows.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(HOLY SHIT THAT KILLED ME XDDDD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Hehehehehhehe)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Smol Chat:  
-SanseyPansey: Okay, which one of you told my bro what that is?!  
BlueBerry: Not us, we’re watching Razz, remember?  
SanseyPansey: Axe then...  
Sharknado: Yeah, you’re not phasing him. Just get over it.  
.....  
.....  
Sharknado: ????  
Sanseypansy: So I asked my bro why he wanted to know such a thing, and apparently all the Papyruses are in agreement that Stretch is a bratty masochist.  
Sharknado: BWAHAHAHAH!  
BlueBerry: HUH?!

Real World:  
Slim: Psssssssst! Would you two stop shouting? You’ll wake my bro up.

Back to the Chat:  
-Ashtray: I am NOT a masochist already.  
-Edgelord: Honestly, the sooner you come to terms with it the better off everyone will be.  
-Pup-ryus: Admitting it to yourself is always the first step.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Smol Chat:  
-BlueBerry: He didn't know already?  
-Sharknado: Wait wait, you think so too?  
-BlueBerry: It’s pretty obvious. You see how many times I've had to save him from death.  
-Sansypansy: Oh god that funny.

Real World:  
Slim: *Reading over Blue’s shoulder.* Oh my god.  
Blue: My brother really should self reflect more.

Tall Chat:  
-Pup-yrus: Guys Blue thought Stretch already knew that.  
-Ashtray: You’re making that up!  
-Pup-yrus: I swear on my jacket.  
-Edgelord: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Edgelord has changed Ashtray’s nickname to Bratochist.*

-Bratochist: HEY!  
-Pup-ryus: Nice, though I was also thinking Masobrat would have worked too.  
-SpagettiDude: IT IS VERY FITTING!  
-Bratochist: I hate all of you....

Real World:  
Axe: Yo Stretch, you getting sick too? Your face is looking REALLY orange.  
Traps: Wowie, you’re the same color as Lord Hater now!  
*Stretch is blushing enough to look like an actual carrot, pulling his hood over his head in an attempt to hide his shame. It’s not working very well.*  
Stretch: ...... my own brother betrayed me.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: I mean... look kid, no one wants to lie to you.  
Traps: *Pats Stretch’s shoulder.* It’s not a bad thing to be.  
Stretch: *Wants to just disappear omg.*

Tall Chat:  
TrapSnap: I think Stretch can't handle the teasing. He is the same color as Lord Hater now.  
-Edgelord: THAT is what it finally takes to make him embarrassed???

***  
HomeHawk12  
(And we finally broke the Carrot XPPP first Razz, now Stretch fjfnfkdl. Now I can’t decide if this should go in a more angsty/funny direction or keep going with the laughs)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I'm good with both!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Good to know! First option it is XP)

***  
-Edgelord: So we already know Stretch is DEFINITELY a sub.  
-Pup-yrus: I’m trying to narrow down the things that he’s always trying to provoke. He also seemed pretty okay with the torture device demonstration earlier.  
-SpagettiDude: He was protesting about it though.  
-Edgelord: He didn’t shortcut away either.  
-Pup-yrus: We are trying to help you here Stretch. How did the torture instruments make you feel?  
-: ............  
-SpagettiDude: Lazy-me?

*Bratochist has left the chat.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Real World:  
Traps: Stretch are you okay?  
Stretch: *Had retreated to the hoodie thx.*  
Traps: *Pokes the hoodie.*  
Axe: *Pulls the kitty out of his skull and pushes Lord Hater towards Stretch.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Axe will attack the issue with kitty snack therapy!)

Lord Hater: Meow? *Licks Stretch’s exposed bit of leg.*  
Stretch: *Tries to inconspicuously wipe his face, because they did NOT make him emotional enough to tear up. No way in hell would any of them get under his skin. He has also decided to live in his hoodie forever. The hoodie never makes fun of him and smells like suckers.*  
Traps: Are you crying?  
Axe: Look pal, I know they were teasing ya, but we all got things-  
*Stretch teleports to his bedroom and slams the door.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Tall Chat:  
TrapSnaps:... Guys... I think we really upset Stretch....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch u teleported that door slam was all drama)

-Edgelord: Really? I've been trying to get some sort of reaction for years now.  
-SpaghettiDude: Oh no. I will have to make apology spaghetti.  
-TrapSnap: Oh! Can we use one of my recipes?  
-Pup-yrus: Dude was that Stretch slamming the door? Razz woke and now he’s paranoid.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(well he is a brat too XD)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Loud slamming.*  
Razz: W-WAAAHHH!  
RED: YEOOOOOOUUUCH!!  
*Red pulls back like his life depends on it, popping off several of Razz’s finger bones in his escape. Blue instantly reaches for the delirious Razz and gently hugs him before he could do more harm.*  
Blue: What was that?!  
Red: *Groans in agony.* My spine... The bastard nearly severed my spine!  
Slim: Seriously that noise just scared him.  
Red: TELL THAT TO MY DUSTIN’ VERTEBRAE!!!!  
(I realized autocorrect initially changed ”hugs” to “hits” the first time)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I was really really trying to figure that out man)

Red: Whatever, where's your bandages? Blue I know you have some here.  
Blue: In the bathroom. *Rubs Razz’s back.*  
Slim: That can't be the worst you've gotten.  
Red: Still fuckin stings, I ain’t gonna be able to lay round without hurting now!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(wait, did Blue take Razz to the bathroom to reattach his fingers and get bandaids?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Nah Red got the bandages, fingers still in there)

Blue: ..... Red? I think you took Razz’s fingers.  
Red: He can have them back once I have bandages ready, I ain't pulling them out yet. You don't pull out stuff that stabbed you unless you think it's poisoned.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhhhhhh I completely misread that one XP also can't remember Stretch’s lazy chat name ghjgds)

Lazy Chat:  
-Sharkbite: STRETCH WHAT THE HELL?????!!!  
*Sends a picture of his spine in the mirror, five fingers currently jutting out of a few vertebrae in his spinal column.*  
-SlimJim: Ahhhhh that looks worse in the light...  
-Snas: What the hell happened over there?

*Stretch has left the chat.*

Red: DAMMIT STRETCH ANSWER ME!  
Blue: Quiet down! You’re scaring Razz.  
Red: I DON’T CARE!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(In-stretchable)

Red: *Walks over to Stretch’s new room.* Hey! Slamming that door caused that cat of a skeleton to give me some new spinal piercings that I didn't ask for!  
Blue: Red, just come over here and I’ll get the fingers out.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: NO! I already limped all the way over here and I am GOING to get a damn apology!

Tol Chat:  
Pup-ryus: So, uhhhhh, Stretch slammed the door and freaked my bro out. Please don’t kill Razz Edge...  
*Sends the pic of Red’s spine.*

The Hallway:  
*Slim walks over to try getting Red to come back.*  
Slim: I’ll talk to him, just please give my bro his fingers back.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Tol Chat:  
Edgelord: ....are those Razz’s claws?  
SpaghettiDude: Oh gosh! Is he okay?  
Pup-yrus: He won't let me or Blue remove the fingers.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Pup-yrus: He’s literally pounding on Stretch’s door crouched over in pain like an old man screaming his head off, and Razz is having a panic attack in the other room.  
Edgelord: .... I’m coming over there.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Pup-yrus: To help or?  
.....  
Pup-yrus: Edge?

Edge: *Walks through the room with the Horror bros are.* Hello. Can’t talk now.  
Traps: Oh! Um, hello and goodbye?  
Edge: *Walks all the way upstairs to pick up his raging brother and bring him back to Blue’s room.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Fell is so politely blunt right now and Slim is just the embodiment of concern)

Blue: Oh! Hello Edge! Thank you for bringing Red back!  
Razz: *Clutches his knees mumbling/crying at the same time while Blue continues rubbing circles.*  
Red: PUT ME DOWN YA BITCH STRING BEAN- UMPH!  
*Edge grabs a few T-shirts and shoves them into Red’s mouth.*  
Edge: One thing at a time brother. Stretch will be feeling my wrath soon enough.  
Slim: Y-you’re not gonna kill my bro?  
Edge: Not in his current state over a mistake. It wouldn’t be fair. Instead. *Eyelights blaze warningly.* I’m going to hunt Stretch down and make him wish he was never born.  
Slim:...  
Blue:....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Is trying to gnaw through the shirts in his mouth.*  
Edge: *Smacks Red upside the skull.* Stop that!  
Red: *Growls.*  
Edge: *Quickly and professionally pulls the claws out, rubs them down with a cleaning cloth, and returns them to Razz’s hand.* Brother stop. I mean it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Sniffles a bit, having worn himself out and the fever taking over his senses again.*  
Red: Mmppppphhhhh.... *Also calmed down a bit from his earlier tantrum, now that he isn’t in so much pain anymore.*  
Blue: Edge, I know my brother screwed up, but please-  
Edge: Oh please, he enjoys it after all. He’s proven to be a masochist.  
*Marches out of the room and up the hallway.*  
Blue: Wait! I’ll-  
Razz *Grips Blue’s shirt before he can hop out of the bed.*  
Razz: P-please don’t go... He’ll kill you too....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Hnnnnnngh. Ok.... *Under his breath.* Hallucinations or not, that probably still applies here.  
Red: *Chokes on laughter.*  
Slim: ..... Uh. Should I.... um. Monitor? Those two?

(What a first meeting for the Horror bros. A fever and drama)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(They are probably having the time of their lives. First everything was starvation and death and now everything just flipped upside down and backward sjgnfjd)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: .... brother, I like these skeletons.  
Axe: *Cozy on the couch, soft kitten snores from his skull as Lord Hater has once again returned to it.* Yeah, it’s nice. I can actually take a nap here.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yessssss they so happy and at home In the crazy. Ok ok imma need about eight hours to figure out where to go next lol)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Yeah, please make sure nobody dies.  
*Slim follows Edge out of the room. Edge is standing outside Stretch’s door.*  
Edge: OKAY IDIOT! YOU’RE STUPID TANTRUM HURT MULTIPLE PEOPLE, AND ONE OF THEM HAD NO PART IN TEASING YOU! NOW YOU ARE GOING TO COME OUT AND APOLOGIZE OR I WILL KICK DOWN THAT DOOR AND MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!!!

Back in the Bedroom:  
Razz: Uurgh! *Doubles over a bit clutching his sternum.*  
Blue: Razz? What’s wrong?  
Razz: Hurts.... I-I don’t.... ‘leven? *Grips Blue’s shirt trying to steady himself.*

*The yelling down the hallway intensifies.*

Edge: ARE YOU REALLY STILL HIDING?!?! OR DO YOU JUST ENJOY BEING BERATED AND HUMILIATED?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god Razz no! Edge you are not helping!)

*Stretch is ignoring Edge.*  
Edge: LOOK, YOUR TANTRUM SET OFF RAZZ. EITHER COME OUT AND TELL US TO STOP YOURSELF OR STAY IN THERE AND HIDE LIKE A COWARD!

Blue: *Hearing Edge from the hall.* EDGE THAT’S NOT HELPFUL.  
Razz: *Wheezing into the blankets in pain.*

(Edge boy. This is why no one wants Fellverse therapy)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Traps sticks his head in the bedroom while Blue is trying to calm Razz, still clearly in pain.*  
Traps: So, how would you guys feel about a night under the crystals?  
Red: What the hell are ya talking about?  
Traps: W-well, since it is so loud and... violent in here, I thought outside would be quieter!  
*He motions out the window. Red shuffles over to take a look seeing all the pillow fort supplies had been moved into the backyard and now made a cute little house type thing.*  
Traps: The crystals are beautiful tonight!  
Blue: I.... wouldn’t be opposed. But I don’t know if moving Razz is a good idea.

Edge: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ASHTRAY??? THE WORST TYPE OF MONSTER! ALWAYS HAPPY TO MAKE OTHERS ANGRY AND UNCOMFORTABLE BUT UNABLE TO HANDLE IT YOURSELF!!!! SUCH AN INSECURE BRAT!!!!

Razz: Unnnnnn.... it hurts......  
Red: Honestly, I think we’d be better off out there. My other thought was ta take him ta Comic’s place, but I don’t know how he’d handle the universe jump like this.  
Blue: .... Hey Thirteen, we’re going to take a short trip, okay? I promise, Twelve and I aren’t leaving.  
Razz: *Wheeze*....w-where?  
Blue *Wraps the covers securely around his shoulders.*  
Blue: Someplace safe and quiet.

(Edge learned all his coping mechanisms from someone XD if Red’s yelling wasn’t getting through, clearly his own would be far superior cvyddgjk)  
(I already feel bad for Stretch, if this keeps going in the direction I think it will)

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz tries standing on his own, but falls from a dizzy spell. Blue scoops him and his blanket off the floor and carriers him down the stairs with Traps and Red following. Edge is still at the door with Slim watching nervously.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Um. Edge? I don't think it’s working.  
Blue: *Is real tired of being the only ADULT here.* Edge? Can you check if I have any fluffy towels in the linen closet? I think I might have to put Razz in the bath to cool his temperature down if he gets worse.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Edge is too worked up to stop now. Axe thought about helping but is also observing and biding his time.*  
Edge: NOT UNTIL THIS TRASHBAG GIVES ME A PROPER ANSWER! NOW ON THE COUNT OF THREE I’M COMING IN THERE AND DRAGGING YOU OUT MYSELF.  
ONE!  
TWO!  
THRE-  
*A horrible crashing noise erupts from Stretch’s bedroom.*  
(Hense whatever you want to make of that noise lmao)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ..... I didn't realize today was the day I finally got to see what the weird noises in Stretch’s room are. Good luck Edge.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Calling it now, it’s the “imagination” box from that Spongebob episode)

Edge: .....*Lifts foot and kicks the door in with minimal effort.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Stretch is on the mattress hidden under a mound of blankets. It’s his new home.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Stretch has noise canceling headphones on. He heard nothing that Edge had yelled on about.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDD)

*Annoying Dog is also snuggling under the covers with him, an audio player in its mouth.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: *Aggressively pulls the covers off seeing the bane of his existence, plus Stretch.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: YOU.  
Stretch: ......me?  
Edge: *Unplugs the headphones and ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ is blaring from the music player.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Music plays loudly over the tense situation, Stretch looking up with wide sockets at Edge (tear trails on his face still obvious), Annoying Dog wagging its tail rapidly still holding the tape player and snuggled in Stretch’s arms, and Edge standing above them both, socket twitching as he attempts to make sense of the whole scene before him. Everyone else except Slim is now outside and out of earshot.*

Edge: ....  
Stretch: ....  
Edge: ....  
Stretch: ....  
Edge: ....  
Stretch: ....

*Song lyrics keep blaring.*

Annoying Dog: ...... bark!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ..... what.... song is that?  
Stretch: ....uh..... Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?  
Slim: .....ah.  
Edge: I have been trying to talk to you. And. This. Is what you were doing?  
AD: Boof! *Wiggles for Edge’s attention.*  
Slim: .......

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: .... did you kick my door in?  
Edge: Obviously.  
Strech: ... you know you could have just knocked.  
AD: *Squirming out of Stretch’s arms going for Edge’s leg.*  
Edge: *Eye twitching intensifies. He now has eyeballs.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: I DID KNOCK.  
Slim: .....with your foot.  
AD: *Is probably the same dog across universes.* Boof! Arf! *Paws at the edge of the mattress ..... ready to jump on Edge.*  
Edge: *Stares at the dog, unwilling to show fear or unease.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!  
AD: *Is totally the same dog across universes.* BOOF! *Clicks audio player and helicopter noises start playing. The dog does a quadruple front flip into Edge’s face.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: YOU DAMN MONGREL! *Summons a red bone to smack the dog away.*  
AD: *A sloppy slobbering lick across Edge’s sockets before jumping into Slim’s arms and giving him a tiny cheek lick.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I WILL MURDER YOU WITH FIRE!!!! *Stomps over with more bones summoned.*  
AD: BORK! *leaps out an open window, disappearing from everyone’s view though they can still hear his tape player.*  
Edge: .... you cannot escape forever!DO YOU HEAR ME!!!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: RAZZ SAID HE WOULD LET ME BORROW HIS FLAMETHROWERS! I WILL END YOU.  
*Stretch and Slim share a look.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Meanwhile in the outdoor pillow fort, everyone else is cuddled up waiting for the shit show to end. Razz is all bundled up blearily staring at the stars.*  
Razz: I-it’s like the ceiling is dancing..... urgh. *Flinches from chest pain.*  
Blue: Looks like I’ll be calling a healer after all, though I doubt I can get anyone to come out here at this hour-  
AD: *Lands in Razz’s lap, burrowing into his blankets and popping its head out right next to Razz’s, giving him a big cheek lick.*  
Blue: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?!? BAD DOG!  
AD: Bork!  
Blue: Hold still Razz and I’ll remove him.  
Razz: It’s a.... fluffy mushroom....*Dopy smile.*  
Blue: ....  
Razz: ... I-I think it’s friendly!  
Everyone else: ....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .... Fuuuuck man. *Holding in laughter.* He’s pretty much fucking stoned.  
Razz: .... Twelve? When did you... learn that language? Have you seen the fluffy mushroom?  
AD: *OMG he is holding me and petting AND OMG BELLY RUBS.*  
Razz: Fluffy Mushroom dance.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
LH: MEO! Hsssssass! *Staring out the crack in Axe’s head, not wanting to leave her safe space because dog but DAMMIT THAT’S HER SKELETON!*  
Traps: Wowie, I don’t think I’ve seen him so loopy before.  
Blue: *Facepalms.* It must be worse then I thought.  
Razz: ~Fluffy wiggly mushroom friennnnnddd~ Did you come to watch the ceiling spin too?~ *All sing song like.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: ..... is he always-  
Slim: No. He's not.  
Razz: Awwww.... *Starts messing with the dogs fluff.*  
LH: *Mews for attention.*  
Axe: *Soothes the cat by reaching thru his dead socket.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh hey Slim didn’t know you made it outside :D)

Bookwyrm  
(I SWEAR I WROTE RED)  
(Aaaaaaaaaaaaa)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDDD I figure, it just made me lol fidkddj)

Back in the Bedroom:  
Edge: *Full attention on Stretch.* I HAVE WORDS FOR YOU STILL!!!  
Slim: Oh god he still hasn’t gotten it all out.  
Edge: I HEARD THAT!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Am I not allowed to want to be alone?  
Edge: YOU CAN BE NOT LIKE THAT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Listen. I know it’s a difficult concept to understand, but could you come back at a later time.  
Edge: Later time.... LATER TIME?!?! *Grabs Stretch by the shirt collar and pulls him up to eye level, Stretch grabbing at Edge’s arms trying to make him let go.*  
Edge: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE DAMAGE YOU JUST CAUSED?! Because of YOU Red was impaled in the back by a startled Razz, and I’M NOT ALLOWED TO BE MAD AT HIM BECAUSE HE’S DELIRIOUS AND HALF CONSCIOUS!!!!!! THAT’S NOT MENTIONING- what in Asgore’s name is that?  
Stretch: What is what?  
Edge : *Pulls Stretch’s sleeve down farther then it already slipped, eyes narrowing on the numerous, intentionally made chisel mark.*  
(Gasp! Stretch! No wonder you felt so much shame!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Is that a actually masochist mark OR a mental problem mark?)

Razz: *Smushes his face to the dog.* I love you fluffy shroom.  
Blue: Yes yes he's.... nice. A nice. Annoying. Shroom.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I was initially thinking mental problem, but it could go either way. He doesn’t really understand fully himself. Guy needs therapy)  
(Ya know what, I’ll let you decide if they are masochist or mental health related. The ball is in your court ;))

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I'll figure it out in morning gotta sleep be real busy tomorrow

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Kk lol g-night and good luck ;D)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay just thought of this and had to type it up Ddkdndjdk)

Razz: You are the cutest mushroom I’ve ever met. Just look at these shroomy cheeks~ *He’s stretching AD’s cheeks outwards.*  
You make me wanna pinch them~ *Squeezes the cheeks inwards, AD’s tongue coming out and the loudest whoopee-cushion sound imaginable is produced.*  
Blue: .....  
Red: *Filming everything trying to hold in laughter.*  
Razz: *Big sparkly star eyelights.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: You are the greatest thing in the universes. I love you fluffy shroom~

Stretch: .... I can explain? Um.....  
Edge: ....were we ....actually right?  
Stretch: *Blushes.* ......um.... n-no?  
Edge:...  
Stretch: ....yes...

***  
HomeHawk12  
(So this is your chosen route djfkfld let us begin XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He very shy bout it, kink shaming is not his kink)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Awww poor boy)

Edge: .....  
Slim: Shit, I can’t believe we called it.  
Stretch: Yes, you called it, now please put me down.  
Edge: These gouges are deep.... and you’re a one HP monster.  
Stretch: Okay I get it, very dangerous and bad for my health. now drop me!  
*Edge finally lets him go.*

(I don’t even know that much about this kink in general so this will be interesting, other then 50 Shades did a bad job of portraying it healthily gjhgs)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Neither do I, my ace ass knows nothing but the humor aspect a bit, and 50 shades is a cult and abusive.)

*Stretch retreats to his blankets. Throughly embarrassed.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Hey what a coincidence! I also happen to be Ace! This is a rare find I like never meet other aces)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg this is crazy. I love it.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude this has been a pleasant day of surprises so far! I was thinking if incorporating my ideas on Edge’s sexuality would be a good idea, but now I think I’ll go with it!)

Edge: Stretch, this is not a healthy manor to satisfy a.... sexual desires.  
Stretch: How would you know about healthy pleasures? You and Razz are the BDSM masters out there.  
Slim: .....  
Edge: ...... I’m ace.  
Stretch: ....... well how was I supposed to know?! you never said anything!  
Edge: You never cared to asked! And now I just feel used! Thanks for that you asshole!  
*Slim grabs a bag of popcorn from nowhere. This is too juicy to interrupt.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The one hailed as a hot BDSM boy is Ace i love it. )

Edge: .... Is this why you asked about good knives a few months ago? I thought you wanted an expert opinion on kitchen supplies for Blue! I have my armor for actual combat not sexual favors!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I feel like having the concept of sex and intimacy so thoroughly used in such awful manners as it is in his world would be a turn off, and I also headcannon Rus as Ace given his one true love is puzzles, so that had to carry over djffnkdll)

Stretch: Well now I feel like an ass....  
Edge: As you should.... wait. ARE YOU GETTING OFF ON THIS CONVERSATION?!?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: NO. I'm not. At all. I don't do that, ok?  
Edge: .... I really don't understand sexually attracted people sometimes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Oh god....  
Edge: What?  
Stretch: I-is Razz into.... what I’m into? If I was wrong about you then.... oh god....  
Edge: That I have no idea. Slim?  
*Both turn to Slim.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Had a mouthful of popcorn and has to take a moment to finish the large amount.* ..... uh. I don't know? Razz never had anyone he told me about. There wasn't really any safety for it. Then we had the fight. I dunno. I mean I never really..... asked him?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This guy has no idea what is romance, the thing he wasn’t built for, he knows what sex is but he doesn’t have the hardware so he never cared... oh god Razz attempting to understand what love is and he get so flustered he just nopes out through a window and never wants to try ever again. XD)

*Meanwhile in Razz vision.*  
Razz: l’leven... you’re a mushroom too? *The fuzzy fat blurry, swimming ball of fungus in his hands was making happy noises, and his brothers’ faces were also looking like similarly shaped mushrooms growing on two different colored noodle bodies. Along with the tall lamppost and the short moon over there by the spinning building.*  
Talking Mushroom 11: I.... wait, what?  
Talking Mushroom 12: We may need ta go with your tub soaking suggestion. He looks worse even, if he’s actin’ high.  
TM11: Well, I’m not going back in there until I’m positive they are done screaming!  
TallLamp: Didn’t the gauntlet have a kitty pool?  
ShortLamp: Looks like ya guys have a hose too.  
Razz: W-why didn’t ya tell me.... oh god... *nausea.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Arromantic Razz? Or just.... very very uncomfortable Razz. What the heck people ..... cuddle? And like... not kill each other for parental attention? Or like..... they open up to select few people???)

Slim: .... I mean... I don't even know if Razz understands that marriage is more than a tactical advantage.  
Edge: ..... it.... isn't usually?  
Stretch: ..... What? God, what the hell do they teach you in Fell universes?

*Razz is very very out of it AND WHY ARE THE MUSHROOMS ATTACKING AND TRYING TO DROWN HIM??? NO! BETRAYAL!!!*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I guess arromantic is the closest thing I’ve ever compared him to? I never put much thought into his sexuality before, but I couldn’t picture him becoming close enough with anyone to figure out if he COULD let other people in. That’s something I’d need to think on more, but I feel like someone putting the moves on Edge would get a “no, not interested” then an irritated cold shoulder, Razz would have the hammer come down all at once and just be “Wait? What?? WHAT?!?! You want to do what to my WHAT?!” Then retreat to a corner in his brain thinking “EW EW EW EW.” Chara trying to flirt with him came with VERY different results then Rus gave XP)

Razz: BROTHERS?! YOU BETRAYED ME!!! FLUFFY MUSHROOM HELP!!!!  
Red: Hold still already!  
Blue: Oh stars..... he may be back in that onesie again. He just drenched the pjs...

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is very much like..... why would I ever get naked around you? You could stab me. Wait. You actually want to stab me??? .... oh that’s what an innuendo is??? Ew. Keep your fleshy bits to yourself and any fluids you have.)

Razz: *Growls.* I WILL END YOU, DAMN TRAITOROUS FUNGI! I WILL TEAR YOU TO PIECES FOR DECEIVING MY BROTHERS AND TAKING THEM OVER! *Summons shaky magic to throw that very clearly misses everyone.*

Stretch’s Room:  
Slim:..... Stab first, sweep later?  
Edge: Yep. That about sums it up.  
Stretch: That’s awful advice!  
Slim: Razz taught me that and it kept me safe for a long time.

***  
HomeHawk  
(Yep, pretty much. Razz is that wall of Nope. Oh Geeze I like the idea of him just not understanding innuendos)

Stretch: Why do you have all those torture toys if you aren’t even into that type of stuff?  
Edge: EXCUSE ME?! Those are torture instruments! And they are NOT meant for your sexual pleasure. They are works of art! Puzzles of engineering that I painstakingly solved just to create my own versions! Truly creations that dirty plebs like you won’t understand!

Outside:  
*Blurry half formed bones dissolve in the air, Razz panting heavily unable to fight back anymore.*  
Red: Thank Christ....  
Axe: Good thing he tired himself out. I thought he would dust himself at this rate.  
Razz: .... ‘leven...?  
Blue: *Oh god no more freak outs.* Y-yes?  
Razz: C-can we.... go sleep on da moon someday...?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz never understood what the rabbit ladies kept offering for him to look the other way. He did tell them about better clothes shops as their clothes must be uncomfortable with the amount of tugging they did on them.)

Outside:  
Blue: Uh....um. yes? We can?  
Razz: *Points at Axe.* One day I will sleep on you!  
Axe: .....*Looks around.* .... sure pal.  
Razz: *Wide startled eyelights.* HOLY CRAP.

Stretch’s Bedroom:  
Stretch:....  
Edge: They are puzzles to bring out hidden pain!  
Slim: I was also taught to never trust a rabbit's fashion too.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Now all I can think of is Underground Toriel feeling lonely and wanting some intimacy like she had with Gaster, pulling her dress strap down slightly and complaining “Stars, my shoulders have been so stiff recently. Could you help me.... relieve some of this tension?” And Razz is like “I’m sorry, but I’m not trained in muscle relaxation and may cause more harm. I’ll get a massage specialist in right away.” Then Toriel attempts again more sultry like and Razz is just “You know, perhaps sitting in the throne most of the day has given you back problems. It certainly doesn’t look built for lumbar support. Try walking around more often until I can get a craftsman to look into it.” Now all Toriel can see him as is this permanent child)

Outside:  
Razz: T-there really is a man on the moon... and it’s the MOON!  
Axe: .... ooookay.  
Razz: S-so.... how smart do ya have ta be to fly to the moon?  
Axe: Why?  
Razz: I-I wanna... be an astronaut one day.... imma fly us all out of this lab ta safety.  
Red: .... I’m not sure if I’m allowed to laugh at that for being a delusion or if that was actually serious.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razzy noooo. Oh sweet hallucinations child. Toriel was thirsty for a bone. Got a surprisingly innocent and ... adorably helpful skeleton. That actually did outfit the chair to be way more comfortable. So dedicated and loyal..... and refreshingly honest. Oh no, Razz please sit and share a cup of tea while you report to me, have a cookie. she may not get a hot bag of bones anymore... but now she has a loyal and prompt Captain that is adorably serious on any request)

Blue: ..... Red, I think he actually believed that .... when he was a kid.  
Red: *-99999 in the feels.* Oh. Huh. That’s sad.  
Axe: .... Ah.... I don't think he would have shared that if he was all there...

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Her perceptions changed so much, and then after the above ground sad events all she can see is this baby that needs parental guidance )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally posted 9 instead of 8!


	10. Razz Really Hates Spiders, Someone Give Him A Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally swapped 8 and 9 whoops! Maybe no one noticed?
> 
> Razz hates spiders, Edge tries to take charge, things get swapped up and things get stuck, and we had too much fun with fever Razz.

HomeHawk12  
(Her perceptions changed so much, and then after above ground sad events all she can see is this baby that needs parental guidance )

Outside:  
Traps: Should we just.... keep quiet about this?  
Blue: Red, for the love of Toriel please don’t tease or blackmail him over that.  
Red: *Having to wipe away some warmth in his socket. Deja vu to his own past.* I’m not that much of a monster. I’ll stay quiet.  
...

Bedroom:  
Stretch: Slim, your bro taught you weird stuff.  
Slim: He also said be wary of big chairs too, apparently they cause shoulder pain.  
Edge: I’m also mildly confused but I’ll go with it.

(... The contrast between Toriel and Razz’s meeting compared to Undyne and Asgore. (Toriel and Razz sit for a delightful cup of tea, sharing their preferences and what the newest washed up flavors are). Meanwhile (Undyne be smashing the table cuz she’s sooooo pumped to catch a human and Asgore has switched to metal dishware a LONG time ago))

Edge: .... I am so confused by you Stretch...  
Stretch: What did I do this time?  
Edge: How can you feel sexual gratification from pain, if none of us have sexual organs?  
Stretch: .....  
Slim: ....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz, the hard working captain to defend his monarch from all dangers, including back pain. She appreciates it. )

Stretch: ..... I have a mind? I can feel .....uh. satisfaction? Know what, ask your brother not me.  
Slim: I once asked Razz and he didn't even know what I was talking about. Apparently Razz still doesn't think people reproduce for reasons other than child making.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Stretch is just not in the mood to explain things to himself XD)

Edge: I mean, I’m not even sure how skeletons are supposed to reproduce. Certainly not the same way flesh monsters would.  
Slim: This one I do know. Captain Gaster told Razz that when available, you’d go to a human graveyard and resurrect a long dead child corpse, supporting it with magic until it can function. There just, weren’t many corpses to use in the Underground.... if any.  
Stretch: I don’t... think that’s right?  
Edge: Maybe we should find a graveyard and try it.  
Stretch: I’m not ready to be a parent!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: Sooooooo.... he’s been mumbling on for a while lately.  
Blue: Yeah, I didn’t think he’d be this chatty... about nothing.  
Razz: And when the ring bagels are ripe, ya can pluck and eat em from Saturn. T-that’s how Six said the rings on da planet formed.  
Axe: .... Can we dunk his head underwater to shut him up already? Don’t give me that look. It’s not like he can drown. We don’t have lungs.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(It just occurred to me that you may not know what I was referencing with Slim’s explanation. Have you read the SkeleChara comics?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Nope! I just thought it was a creative 'stork' story )

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Nope! A reference to a comic I love lol. You will need to check it out! I will share link)  
[SkeleChara Comic!!!](https://www.deviantart.com/insanelyadd/art/SkeleChara-Page-1-740748556)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Also i like how that excludes the cloning that happened. Which would mean that the current skeletons are not true skeletons, unless humans were cloned, killed, then the bones used? But then the home grown humans could have their souls taken. So why leave those souls around??? )

Bedroom:  
Stretch: I really don't want to talk about reproduction with you two. At all.  
Edge: Why not? It’s educational, and it is something we should know so there aren't any accidental babies.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I have put a lot of thought into that! Though it’s a wordy explanation lol. I theorize that, given skeleton monsters are created from the corpse resurrection manner, that the scientist believed using the bones of the previously fallen humans could allow them to create an army of monsters. Instead of creating one whole skeleton monster, they tried using segments of bones and Gaster’s magic to create numerous, independent monster (and given their human base, hopefully ones that could better handle determination, and with enough tinkering, able to equal the power of a human soul). So each series was designated by the body they were based from (S series was based on the Patience child’s body, while P series utilized parts from the Bravery child’s remains). Instead of holding onto all the human remains in her basement, Toriel/Asgore kept the souls in containers while the bodies went to scientific use. Hopefully that wasn’t confusing ^^ it all makes sense in my head lol)  
(They got it to work part of the time, though they never reached the success rates the Queen wanted so eventually the project was dropped. This applies to the tale verses as well)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz: Yes this is Twelve, we are related by bone, I was the fibula to his tibula, both from a patience child.)  
(Toriel really got the weirdest end of that science deal. A...... child that needs her but doesn't even know it.)

Slim: .... well. This ....was... educational.  
Stretch: .... can you....like leave?  
Edge: Razz is really out of it and we need all hands.

Outside:  
Razz: .... Mister Lamppost don't steal my jellybeans....  
Traps: .....jellybeans?  
Razz: Noooooooooooooooo! Mister Lamppost! *Goes 'boneless'.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Pretty much XD I haven’t thought about what bone segments our skeletons were made using, but I like this because it gives explanation why they would use “Captain Gaster” as a base instead of “Dr. Gearson”. It would be weird if in the Swapverse our skeletons were somehow turtles.... though they would probably have sick Kung-fu skills fjdbfkg)

Stretch: Wait, I thought my bro got him back to sleep already?  
Edge: Well he WAS sleeping, but your little door slamming tantrum woke him up and injured my brother simultaneously! YOU made this worse!  
Stretch: ..... oh.  
Edge: Yeah, oh.  
Stretch: ... I guess I should apologize.  
Edge: Yeah, you think?  
Slim: ... so, was that entire torture device demo from yesterday a major turn on for you or-  
Stretch: I said stop talking!

Outside:  
Blue: Please don’t cry, I promise to get you jellybeans later.  
Razz: *Sniffles.* But those were my beans.... how will we keep Fluffy Mushroom from killing us all now?  
Red: Huh?  
Razz: F-fluffy Mushroom controls the weather *Procedes to sob.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bedroom:  
Edge: You may be interested in how my brother had to pop off Razz’s claws, they were deep enough. You really should check your messages and rejoin the chats.  
Stretch: ..... I am not interested in other’s pain thanks for making this weird.  
Slim: .... so what was the best tool used on you-  
Stretch: Dust no. Stop that.  
Slim: Just saying, you didn't really object to the demonstration.

Outside:  
AD: Boof!  
Razz: What did I do to upset you?? Please stop making it rain stars!  
Red: *Doesn’t know whether to laugh or what. What the hell is going thru Razz’s skull???* ....are you ...okay?  
Razz: IT WON’T STOP RAINING STARS AND I CAN’T GET THE MUSHROOM TO STOP IT.  
Red: *Sweat drop and looks at Blue.*  
Blue: *Is very tired of the weird shit and shrugs.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Blue is so done he probably wants to go to bed but has to parent, poor guy)

*Edge walks out of the back door, surprised to see Razz bawling his eyes out in a kitty pool.*  
Slim: W-what did you do to my bro?!  
Red: What do ya think?!  
Blue: *Pinches the bridge of his nasal passage.* Are you all finally done shouting?  
Edge: I believe we have everything settled for now, Stretch?  
Stretch: *Is pushed out of the doorframe and looks very uncomfortable, currently hiding in his hood still.* Sorry a-about what I did with the.... door slamming. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  
Red: I’ll THINK about forgiving ya, AFTER ya help out with the poor sap over there! *Motions to the extremely out of it Razz.*  
Blue: Papy, could you please start running the bath? We need cold water, fill it about half way. Slim, please get some towels ready. Edge, a little help please?  
*All Papyruses take off to do what they are told, Edge coming over and scooping a sopping wet Razz, still crying but too tired to really struggle.*  
Razz: T-t-the moon and lamppost are in cahoots! *Hic.* They stole my beans!!!!  
Edge: Yes yes, I will be sure to punish them properly later.  
Traps: ....  
Axe: ..... he’s not being serious, right?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... I apologise for them taking advantage of your weakness. *Razz is surprisingly...small when he isn't struggling or fighting. Edge is easily carrying him.* I won't let your dignity be crushed anymore.  
Razz: Where’s the stabby whip??? The Moon will pay!  
Edge: The cat-o-nine tails? That is quite harsh.  
Blue: Edge, please be careful, he has been very difficult when the hallucinations get bad.  
Razz:......... *Tiredly snuggles into Edge’s shoulder, getting him wet.*  
Edge: Rus gave me tips on how to hold Sanses Blue, he's fine.  
Slim: *Is just staring at his brother snuggled in Edge’s arms, the towels haphazardly held.* What did you guys do to him?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Edge is just being such a bro here I can’t)

Stretch: *Finishes filling up the bathtub to the requested amount. Exiting the bathroom he spots Edge ascending the staircase with Razz snuggled in his arms. Stretch’s jaw nearly falls off again from how far it drops open.*  
Razz: *Still mumbling nonsense.* W-where did the... Fluffy Mushroom go? I-If the Lamppost makes it angry.... it will... drop the moon! It shall face the wrath of my clamps!  
Edge: The ones attached to the car battery, or the classic clamps?  
Razz: Uhhhhhhhh..... yeah those.  
Edge: *Gives Stretch the biggest warning look he has ever given.* If you choose to taunt him later I will give you a torture session to outdo any I’ve ever done before, and I promise you WILL NOT enjoy it.  
Stretch: Stop shaming me already!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I am loving this whole, “Edge refusing to let Stretch’s desires ruin his favorite toys.”)

Edge: ......*Careful for him, dumps Razz in the bath with his clothes on. Modesty saved.* Alright, you get cool or whatever.  
Razz: *Resting his chin on the tub ledge, pretty exhausted, docile from Edge’s actions.* Okay .....okay.......  
Red: ...*Peeks into the bathroom to make sure his brother doesn't drown the little rat bastard of a skeleton.* .... need help Boss?  
(Blue is making some easy comfort food, hopefully Razz will eat some)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Edge’s torture puzzles are one of his few joys beside electric guitar and fast cars. He will let NO ONE take that away djfkfl)

*Edge pulls a car magazine from his inventory and takes a seat on the toilet lid, waving Red away. *  
Edge: We are fine for the moment. You may go be lazy or whatever you wish. *Flips to next page where it’s a fold out page spread of a racing grade Shelby Cobra from the 1960’s, his sockets narrowing.*  
Edge: Oh yes, now THAT is a beauty.  
Razz: ... *Snore.*  
Red: Whatever ya say Boss. I still have a few “words” for your idiot alternate.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pfft. Red could mean like 5 skeletons there)

*Red goes down stairs to see the idiot squad.*  
Blue: Red? *Turns to look at him.* Can you grab the potatoes for me? Traps is busy on the mac and cheese.

Red: ...k, where's yer brother at?  
Blue: Red, don't tease Papy that much, he is sensitive.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Who said anything about teasing him? I just wanna have a talk.  
*Blue stares at him suspiciously.*  
Blue: .... helping Slim and Axe clean up the pillow fort outside.  
Red: Appreciate it pal. *Tosses Blue the potatoes and heads out the back door.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Red saunters his way over the the cleaning crew.*  
*Slim is immediately on guard from the bastard energy radiating off Red.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *Notices Red and the massive ass smirk on his face. It’s TOO massive.*  
Stretch: Uhhhhh, should I go?  
Red: What, no! Why would I want ya ta do that? *Wraps arm around Stretch’s torso so he can’t escape.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Nah buddy. *Shark toothed smirk.* I just wanna know what gave ya the idea to be slamming doors?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Stretch is starting to sweat, pulling the strings tighter around the hood on his head trying to hide his expression.*  
Stretch: N-nothing! It wasn’t anything important.  
Red: So you got Razz imbedding his claws in my back and me ripping them off for nothing? Stars man, I don’t think I can accept your apology for “nothing” as my explanation.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Slim seriously debates if he should tell the truth or not.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: So.... wanna tell me why I got ten new holes in my spine? And, ya know, if ya just like slamming doors round lil Blue... we are gonna have ourselves a more.... in depth ... talk.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Shifts about to start. I hate work dvbjmds)

Stretch: *Is starting to fidget.* I just.... I mean...  
Slim: Would it be easier if I told him?  
Red: Tell me what?  
Stretch: Oh God please no....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oof good luck.)  
Slim: .... he was embarrassed that the Papyrus chat was teasing him.  
Red: What the hell were they saying to get you to do that?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Stop that! If he knows I’ll never live it down!  
Red: This doesn’t have anything to do with Comic saying all the Papyruses thought Stretch was a-  
Stretch: Slim! Why don’t you help me with that one thing, way over there!  
Red: .... masochist?

***  
Bookwyrm  
......  
Red: ... are you serious?  
Stretch: *Is ignoring Red.*  
Red : Ohhhhhhhh buddy pal. You weren't enjoying that lil demonstration, were ya?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: S-shut up! *Buries his face in the pillow he’s holding.*  
Red: Heheheheh.... so you DID know! Good ta hear you aren’t as oblivious as Blue thought.  
Stretch: ...... *Wants to die already. Please random meteor.*  
Red: .... so, out of all the tools used, did ya have a favorite-  
Stretch: Would everyone stop already!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: You did hear that Razz used to sell torture sessions right? He'd probably be fine with you-  
Stretch: Nope. NO. JUST NO.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: .... I gotta tell Comic.  
Stretch: PLEASE NO!  
Red: Aaaaaaaand sent.  
Stretch: I’m going back to bed now. Wake me up never please.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Holds onto the tol one.* Awwwwww. Where do ya think yer going?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Red smiles evilly at Stretch. Stretch looks to Slim for help. Slim is sweating under the pressure.*  
Slim: I-I’m gonna take these inside and check on my Bro. Y-you two have fun.  
Stretch: Wait! Don’t leave me here with-  
Red: So as I was saying.  
*Stretch is ready to quadruple die right now.*  
Red: Don’t give me that look. I know all the best things for someone with your type of interest.  
*Stretch is three seconds away from getting on the ground and curling up in the fetal position. *

*Slim books it up the staircase to the linen closet and drops the blankets on the floor. Turning around he peaks inside the bathroom. Seeing Edge reading a magazine. Razz is absent.*  
Slim: W-where’s my bro?  
Edge: What are you talking about? He’s right-  
*Realizes Razz is 100% submerged currently.*  
Edge: *Grabs him by the back of the shirt and pulls his head above water. Water drips out of his mouth, nasal passage and sockets.* See? Perfectly fine.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: You haven't been doing it safely String Bean. Heh... this is going to be.......FUN... let me tell you how.  
Stretch: I don't want a BDSM lesson!  
Red: And I didn't want sharp ass claws in my spine. Suck it up.

Bathroom:  
Slim: I, um... don't think that’s safe?  
Edge: He can't drown.  
Slim:..... He, uh.... can't tell you anything under water either?  
Edge: he is hallucinating. He can't tell me anything.  
Razz: *Little weak sputters as the water drips out of his sockets.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: Alright pal, first thing we gotta teach ya is intent. Ya can easily dust yourself if your intent is in the wrong place.  
Stretch: How do you know all thi- Wait.... don’t tell me.  
Red: Generally I prefer being a top, though I’ve done my fair share on the receiving end. I did a lot of shit I’m not proud of ta keep Boss and I fed. There was this one time-  
Stretch: It’s one in the morning! can’t we do this any other time? Like, never?!  
Red: AS I WAS SAYIN!

Bathroom:  
Slim: .... I think I’m going to sit with you guys for a while.  
Edge: Suit yourself, though I’m surprised you aren’t sleeping yet.  
Slim: Hard to sleep when I’m worried.  
Razz: *Finally coughs out the last bit of water stuck in his sockets. Looking up blearily thinking he saw someone important for a second.*  
Razz: B-brother?  
Slim: Sans? What’s wrong?  
Razz: H-have I told you... a-about my brother before?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: As a part time dom sometimes sub, intent is everything .... so is equipment. You have to want to cause pain but not inflict damage. And your equipment needs to be very clean and well maintained. It ain't fun if the hospitals and healers are involved, that’s just embarrassing.  
Stretch: Please stop.  
Red: Not just any leather or rope will do!

Bathroom:  
Slim: .... which brother?  
Razz: Papyrus was.... a cute lil guy and just got too dang tall!  
Slim: ....oh. Uhhhh...  
Edge: He was quieter in the water.  
Razz: He wasssss..... so tiny in the beginning...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: As my world’s Mettaton would say, “You need to know what YOUR version of the game looks like.” Granted I did leave a bit out of that quote, but it still stands.  
Stretch: How would you even know what Mettaton would say about it?  
Red: *Momentarily has a war flashback to a night he would rather forget.... with way too much glitter.*  
Red: So before we get into toys, we are starting with the basics. What are YOU looking for in your games?  
*Stretch is the same color as his hoodie and is trying to hide under some of the blankets he picked up.*

Bathroom:  
Razz: Y-ya should of met the kid.... even after the years of shit in the Lab his magic hadn’t corrupted from it.... even I hadn’t gotten out clean....  
Slim: ....  
Razz: He was such a pure soul.... t-then.... then I screwed it all up....  
Slim: No you didn’t... what are you even talking about?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: ... is it the knife? Or the pain? The control given? Or the -  
Stretch: I ain't telling you.  
Red: Look, you’re getting this lesson for free, that’s a steal.

Bathroom:  
Razz: He was sweet before I took him away, but.... Gaster woulda tore him up... wasn't much better wut I did....  
Slim: You did a lot!  
Razz: I suuuure fu-fricking did. *Sad look.*  
Slim: *Looks to Edge for some ... help???*  
Edge: *Oh. Emotions. Um.* You did .... adequate? Kept him alive?  
Razz: Still woulda been better off........ out me......

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: Ya know what! I’ll even buy ya some starter supplies. I don’t wanna hear Blue sobbing on the phone about how his idiot brother got himself killed with a kitchen knife.  
Stretch: You win already! I’ll become a nun and never hurt myself again.... please stop...

Bathroom:  
Razz: I-I even failed ta fix him of his biggest flaw....  
Slim: W-what’s that?  
Razz: His love of spiders!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god I just realized in your last one Razz is still trying not to swear DX soo sad and cute)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: Nah, I ain't stopping yer fun. Just don't want baby Blue to come crying that his brother cheese grated himself to dust.  
Stretch: *Looks at Red... unbelieving.* .... a.... cheese grater?  
Red: There are kinky fuckers everywhere.

Bathroom:  
Razz: They have been crawling EVERYWHERE IN MY LIFE AND LORD HATER WON’T EAT THEM.  
Slim: Monika would-  
Razz: THE BIGGEST SPY THERE IS FOR THE FU- BA- .......THE TRAITORS AND CORPORATE SPIES!  
Edge: What?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(“Lord Hater won’t eat them!” That just gave me flashbacks to when I lift my cat up to reach a spider on the wall and they don’t do anything XD)

Outside:  
Red: Oh yeah, ya think humans have some weird kinks? Try being hired by a guy with a thing for necrophilia. I had ta-  
Stretch: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO MORE STORIES!!! YOU’RE BREAKING MY BRAIN!

Bathroom:  
Razz: A-an then he goes and makes friends with that bi-bi-witch Muffet! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TA DEAL WITH THAT FRIENDSHIP?!?’ Big spider... in my house..... God dang it Webby...  
Edge: *Makes a move to dunk his head back underwater. Slim slaps him away.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(You're superhuman, the spider dodges the car.)

Outside:  
Red: I just had ta lay there and keep my temperature down. Fucking weird. Paid well cus I was the only one that could provide the service.  
Stretch: Please stop. Just noooooo.

Bathroom:  
Razz: Nuffy has, like, too many arms! Soooo many knifes can be held n' hidden, THEY MOVE SO JERKY.  
Slim: Edge, I've never actually heard the reasons why my brother is so scared of spiders, and never heard him .... actually vent like this.  
Razz: FRICKING TOO MANY LEGS!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: Don’t worry though, I’ll get ya started with some things on self play..... Stretch?  
Stretch: *underswappapyrus.exe has stopped working*

Bathroom:  
Razz: L-listen, never trust someone with m-more then four limbs and can crawl on ceiling. Stupid sticky butt webbing.... have ya ever been stuck in a giant spider’s webbing before?!?! *Sockets go spacey and distant.*  
Razz: ... I lost a good pair of boots that day, and a gauntlet... almost left my whole arm behind.... And then Pap makes friends with the same witch!  
Slim: He’s never told me that about Muffet either.  
Edge: *Shrugs.* Maybe he tries to respect your relationship without butting in.  
Razz: And DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE EYES!!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: ..... Stretch? *Pokes the skele dude.* What are you doing?  
Stretch: *If I ignore him then he will go away.*  
Red: *Won’t be ignored, pokes Stretch’s socket.*

Bathroom:  
Razz: I STILL HAVE CHIPS FROM HER TEETH. THOSE CREEPY CREEPY TEETH-mandibles??-fangs?!? WHATEVER THEY ARE! *Pokes at some suspiciously made marks on his arm.* The bug said weird stuff when she bit my arm.......  
Edge: ......  
Slim: ......um. Is that what I... think happen?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god I’m trying to figure out what Slim thinks happened fjfndkf)

Outside:  
Stretch: OW! Dick!  
Red: Ah good, you’re awake, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to do a demo on ya or something. Sorry ta say, but ya look too much like my brother for me to do anything. That would just feel too weird even for me.  
Stretch: *Glances around yard, seeing Blue through the kitchen window. If he could make a break for the kitchen, he could hide behind his bro. *  
Red: Ya better be paying attention down there! This is prime advise from a professional!

Bathroom:  
Edge: .... no idea... say, what did she say when she bit you?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: ....  
Stretch: *Makes a break for it!*  
Red: *Snags the hood before Stretch gets too far.*

Bathroom:  
Razz: *Confused look.* ... sumthing ‘bout... wondering if I got a different bone for her??? I have many bones that she could plainly see! I don't know what she wanted!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Stretch: Gotta ... get help...*Summons his blaster and aims towards the sky.*  
Red: Don’t you do it.  
Stretch: I’m gonna do it!

Bathroom:  
Slim: ......  
Edge: .... ohhhhh.... she wanted sex.  
Razz: She wanted WHAT?! *Prime moment of floundering.*  
Razz: O-oh god.... spider bites in my.... oh that’s disgusting! *Gets a big shiver down his spine, nearly sinking all the way back under the water.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Stretch: Blue said if I ever need him to shoot a blaster in the air!  
Red: I am just teaching your ass!

Bathroom:  
Razz: ... I don't want my arm anymore. *Dislocates it and tosses it out of the tub.*  
Slim: *Catches the arm.* Bro you need your arm!  
Razz : I can get a new one from the mushrooms!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Shit I literally cackled like a hyena at Razz’s everything!!!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Red: You don't need to get your bro-  
Stretch: *Fires a shot.*  
Blue: *From the kitchen window.* REEEED! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?

Bathroom:  
Razz: It is tainted. I don't want it!  
Slim: You can't do your job without your arm.  
Razz: I’LL GET A METAL ARM AND IT WILL BE COOL.  
Edge: ... he isn't wrong, but he's not right either.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Red: I’m educating your idiot bro! He’s gonna dust himself if he’s not careful!!!!  
Stretch: For the love of Toriel don’t tell him!  
Blue *Rushes outside.*  
Blue: Papy I’ve been trying to give you time to figure this out for yourself, but if you’re close to dusting yourself then I must intervene.  
Stretch: *Unholy screaming.*

Bathroom:  
Slim: A-actually.... how about I go ask the Mushroom for a new arm.?  
Razz: .... you’d do that?  
Slim: Yeah, I think he’s in the hallway. *Steps out with arm.* H-hello.... Mushroom, could you get my bro a new, untainted arm? Really? You’ll give me one now? T-thank you so much. *Steps back in.* Talked to the Mushroom. He just gave me a replica of your old arm, but this one is not tainted.  
Edge: *Can’t decide if he’s impressed or wants to laugh his ass off.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Blue: ...Papyrus. I wanted to let you have your privacy, but if you are hurting yourself I am glad Red stepped in! Papy, I don't want to find your dust on something inappropriate.  
Red: Yeah Pap-py~. You want yer dust like that? And Blue ta find it?

Bathroom:  
Razz: But it's supposed to take 3 to 5 business days....... was it on sale?  
Slim: ...... yes? Please put it on?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Stretch: I’m not related to you. I can’t deal with this! *Turns to storm for his bedroom, but Blue holds his soul back.*  
Blue: Don’t go in there either! What if you freak Razz out again?  
Stretch: I WON’T SLAM ANYMORE DOORS OKAY!!!!

Bathroom:  
AD: BOORF! *Floats by in the water right behind Razz’s head.*  
Edge: ....  
Razz: ........  
Slim: ............... please?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Outside:  
Blue: Edge and Slim are trying to cool Razz down right now.  
Stretch:..... you left two Fell monsters to care of a sick monster?  
Blue: ..... oh goodness...... Red, you keep up with the lesson and I’ll check on them! Traps is just finishing up the food.

Bathroom:  
Razz: Was it organic?  
Edge: Yes? Take the arm.  
Razz: Ew. I don't want organic! Over priced and not as nice!  
Slim: Got it on sale remember?  
Razz: *Suspicious glare.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:  
Stretch: Wait! I change my mind! The Fells will be fine on their own..... aaaand he’s gone.  
Red: Real talk dude, why you so combative about this? You really gotta learn this stuff, and if you’re doing it anyway what’s the big deal?

Bathroom:  
Blue: Guys? Is everything okay up here? *Peers into bathroom seeing Slim looking desperate holding Razz’s arm.*  
Blue: ... what’s going on?  
Edge: Razz says his arm was tainted by Muffet so he doesn’t want it anymore.  
Razz: It IS the same arm! I knew it!  
Slim: Darn it Edge you have the game away!  
Blue: *Is so tired of everyones shit and just really wants to lie down.*  
Blue: Tell you what. What if I trade my clean untainted arm for yours. Will you put the arm on at least?  
Edge and Slim: What?!  
Razz: .... it hasn’t been tainted by spiders?  
Blue: Nope, it’s clean.  
Razz: .... I accept your trade.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Ya can’t do that!  
Blue: Well, he’s a version of me, so our magic is basically the same. We need to keep magic flowing to the arm or it will dust.  
Edge: What if yours dust during this stupid trade?  
Blue: .... it’s a good thing I’m left handed.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch is gonna freak when he learns bout this.)  
Outside:   
Stretch: It’s embarrassing! And you all tease the hell out of me!  
Red: ..... lil secret. If a Fell is teasing they ain't gonna kill ya. Bout as friendly as we naturally get.  
Stretch: I just don't like my brother that raised me to KNOW ABOUT MY BEDROOM ACTIVITIES.

Bathroom:  
Razz: ..... are you sure I can touch something this pure? What if it dusts in my hands? *Hand hovering over Blue’s arm.*  
Blue: *Real tired and is starting to see why the other Sanses take naps.* Please just pick an arm.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Outside:   
Red: ..... it’s a little late for that.  
Stretch: GaaaaaAHHHHH!!!

Bathroom:  
Razz: .... *Takes Blue’s arm and attaches it, a shiver running up his spine and his magic getting a shade closer to cyan.*  
Razz: T-that tingles a bit. I-it feels nice.... and friendly...  
*Blue attaches Razz’s arm, a shiver traveling up his own spine and magic turning a shade closer to purple. It was a sad feeling but he shook it off for Razz’s sake.*  
Blue: It’s weird having claws, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it for now!  
Traps: FOOD IS READY!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ....we should get Razz into dry clothes. I think he is doing better as the hallucinations are less..... creative?  
Edge: ... I will check your closet.  
Slim: .... I can step home real fast?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Thinks on his entire wardrobe.*  
Blue: You’re better off just stopping back at your house.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ... surely your clothes aren't that sunshine and rainbows?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Honestly, the most dignified sleepwear I have is all star patterned. I don’t know if he’ll appreciate looking so cute...  
Edge: .....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ...... *Actually loves cute shit.*.... ........ I'll be the judge of that.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Brings out a pair of deep blue PJs with stars all over them and matching pant bottoms. They make him look like a child when worn.*  
Edge: I mean... they aren’t as disrespectful as the onesie.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... .... if Slim agrees.  
Edge: *Looks to Slim.*  
Slim: *Oh no not those eyelights!* Uh.... I guess?

*Stretch is .... not exactly believing his eyes when the upstairs groups drag themselves down for food.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Bro... what’s wrong with your arm?  
Blue: Don’t worry about it. Just sit down and eat so we can all go to bed.  
*Edge passes next, carrying a still very out of it Razz in starry PJs, one hand looking way less sharp then the other.*  
Stretch: Wait, did you trade body parts up there?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Kinky.  
Blue: *Very, very done.* Red... Papy. He refused to put his arm back on, so I traded him for a bit. I would very much like to eat and sleep.

(See you in morning)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Goodnight!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: You can’t just swap your body parts around! What if it wasn’t compatible and they both dusted?!  
Blue: Papy, I am tired and out of patience! Now sit down and eat your mac and cheese or go to bed! Those are your ONLY choices!  
Stretch: .....  
Red: Damn, never thought I’d see Blue at the end of his ropes.  
Blue: FOR THE LAST TIME RED THAT LANGUAGE IS NOT WELCOME IN THIS HOUSE!!!  
*Edge drops Razz in a kitchen chair next to a still groggy, but eager for food, Axe.*  
Traps: And here is your plate brother! And one for Razz!  
Razz: *Pokes at it suspiciously.* I-is this organic?  
Traps: .... no?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Goooood... *Rest his face next to the plate, exhausted and still sick, with dull sleepy eyelights.*  
Traps: ....... ok?  
Axe: Heh, wats up berry boy?  
Razz: ...... uuuuuuugh..... my spine is a noodle...  
Axe: Ya should probably eat, even if you don't wanna.  
Razz: UUUUUGH.... *Tiredly claws for a fork.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz misses the fork and stabs the mac and cheese with his hand. He lifts his fingers a bit realizing some of the noodles were impaled on his claws.*  
Razz: M....my hand is a fork?  
Axe: Heh, looks like it.  
Razz: ........ *Sticks his claws in his mouth to get the noodles off.*

***  
Bookwyrm

.........  
Red: He still out of it?  
Blue: ... Razz... buddy no.... just use the fork please, we just pulled you out of the bath... kinda.  
Razz: Mrph. *Snuggles head to table.* Nuuuuu.  
Slim: Have I told you all how crazy this is? Razz is never this unguarded.  
Axe: Let the guy use his claws. *Stabs noodles with his own slightly smaller claws.* Claws are an experience Blue, when are you going to have another chance to have them? Pretty sure the switch thing will only work with Razzy. You said you had similar history right? He's probably the closest in physiology to you.  
Blue: ....I don't know, is that taking advantage of Razz?  
Red: Dude this is your chance to see how claws are. Nuthing feels better than sharpening claws if ya do it right.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(When Razz gets his hand back he’ll be surprised that it’s been immaculately pedicured vvjdggs)

*Blue looks down at Razz’s right arm, currently attached to him, then his own plate. Exhaling, he gently jabs one of his claws into the mac and cheese noodles. Lifting it out to see that noodles had stuck onto it.*  
Red: that’s it! Now bring it to your mouth.  
Stretch: You guys are turning my bro savage.  
Blue: *Carefully puts the claw in his mouth.* Mwheheh, that’s kind of... fun?  
Edge: You see? Now if you wish, I’ll bring out my files and show you how to sharpen them.  
Traps: Oh! Can you show me your methods too? Axe and I try with sand paper but they always get snagged.  
Edge: Sandpaper?! No! We are using ACTUAL FILES!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pedicures and an expert torturer. Edge is a total package)  
Stretch: Wow, thats a lot of work for claws.  
Red: You can ask Slim if he'll lend you a hand.  
Edge: Red no. *Pulling his files from his torture toy bag.*  
Blue: I feel like a villain from a movie with these claws.  
Edge: They are very useful when low on magic in a fight, or need to be stealthy.  
Slim: *Is really hoping Stretch doesn't ask thx.*  
(My bad, manicures)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *Looks over to Slim, debating if he should ask or not.*  
Slim: *Heavy sigh.* You’re thinking about it....  
Stretch: I’m feeling kind of left out here, and I don’t have claws so....  
Slim: God dang it....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ..... *Dislocates his right arm.* Don’t do weird shit.  
Blue: Language! Your brother is hallucinating and he still doesn't swear here!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz made it halfway through his plate, Lord Hater jumping out of Axe’s head and chowing down on the rest.*  
Slim: Hey bro, don’t fall asleep at the table.  
Razz: Y-you’re not my....dad... *Snore.*  
Stretch: *Gives Slim his own arm.* What would I even do with it?  
Slim: *Gives him that look that say “I will chew you out for you know exactly what.”*  
Edge: Everyone can join me in the living room when finished. *Picks up Razz and carries him out to the sofa, the berry snuggling into his shoulder.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge is totally cashing in on a small skele that is unable to stop impulses to snuggle for comfort.)

Blue: *Watches the two leave.* ..... Is there a reason Edge is so.... grabby with Razz lately?  
Red: Razz is smaller than me and won't bite if picked up right now. Edge gets to practice what Rus told him without getting scratched or embarrassed much.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro he totally is XD i like to think Edge is a tsundere mother hen and he is totally getting into it)

Slim: .... now that I think about it, Comic would definitely never let him live it down, so this really is perfect for him.  
Edge: *Sets the couch up with a bowl of cold water, towel, orange juice and lots of fuzzy pillows and blankets so they can keep Razz down here and not left alone upstairs. This was gonna be a group activity.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*While Edge is carrying Razz around they pass Blue’s bedroom, Razz spotting the planet mobile on the ceiling.*  
Razz: H-hey.... you work on cars.... right?  
Edge: I am a skilled mechanic yes.  
Razz: W-we need to make a car that.... that can fly to the moon.... like in that one cartoon.... or that other film...  
Edge: Heavy Metal and Back to the Future?  
Razz: Yeeeeeeesssssss.

Bookwyrm  
(Edge gets a tiny skele to dote on omg)

Edge: It would take a long time.  
Razz: .....oh... ok.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I didn’t say we couldn’t do it.  
Razz: Y-you’d want to try?  
Edge: If Alphy’s can put a jet pack in a cell phone, and if we can figure out inter-dimensional travel, a flying car shouldn’t be that difficult.  
Razz: *Little excited noises.*  
(God this is gonna be adorable chgds)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Wide eyelights.* .... can... can it be teal? Please? Or blue?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Teap? I figured you would want to go with purple? Or something closer to your magic color.  
Razz: I hate my magic color... I want it to look like how my magic was before.... or with a greenish shade.  
Edge: *Nods, filing that information for later.*  
Edge: As long as I can make a third of it fire engine red then we have a deal.  
Razz: We can make the red into speed stripes.... o-or flames?  
Edge: That would be great for me. Actually, perhaps a deep red or maroon would be better..... Though we need to decide base model of car before anything else.  
Razz: I have suggestions! Do... d-do you have a pen and paper?  
Edge: *hands him the requested items from his torture bag.* Go crazy.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: *Helping to wash dishes.* They are certainly very chatty. I wonder what they are talking about?  
Blue: YAWN. *Falling asleep while standing currently.*  
Traps: OH! I’ll run over and grab Comic and Rus!  
Axe: Maybe you should call ahead?  
Traps: Nonsense! I don’t want either of them to miss out on friendship activities! Even if it is two in the morning!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz has made an almost ..... is it a car? .... its a doodle at least. Both berries need a nap tbh.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Maybe they will create a berry pile in the sofa and zonk out or something khfddfhj)

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Edge was going to ask Blue where some markers are..... but the opportunity to have 2! Small tired skeletons??? Sign him up! He basically kidnapped Blue from the kitchen.*

***

***  
HomeHawk12

******************************  


*******************************  
(My 30 second interpretation of Razz’s drawing with my off-hand)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... yes.... well. We can make more concept art.... when I get pens. *Sets Blue down next to Razz.*  
Razz: 11! *Immediately snuggles*.*  
Edge: *-99999 too cute.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Edge! We need to put a blaster on the side!  
Edge: Yes, that would be a cool art decal.  
Razz: Not art! Actual blaster!!!  
Razz: We need an extra seat so 11 can come too!  
Blue: .....Snore.....*Nestles in even further.*  
(Edge is probably walking around with big sparkly sockets at all this cute dhjfhjk)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge is in cute heaven. Red doesn't get it but it makes his bro happy.)

Edge: *Ticks in the berries with pillows and blankets.* There. All proper now.

(And what are you talking about? The Terrible Edge doesn't dote on small cute things!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Imma have to draw this cuddle pile at some point XD)

Traps: I’m back! And I brought friends!  
*Rus steps in carrying a still sleeping Comic over his shoulder.*  
Rus: WOWIE! I CAN’T BELIEVE EVERYONE IS STILL AWAKE!  
*Sets Comic on the floor by the couch. He sniffs the air, and without opening his sockets crawls on top of the two berries, Blue and Razz accepting him with open arms and nearly falling off the sofa. They are running out of room.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Edge is dying inside, stiff guard outside.*  
Rus: Oh! I didn't know Blue and Razzy liked to nap! ..... why are their arms switched? Oh. I should grab Red! I bet he would love a Sans pile!  
Edge: *Can’t think bout it or die of cuteness.*

Red: ....... *Feels like he is in danger.* (Would not like the Sans pile the big ol' grump)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Ohhhhh that looks like a nice nap spot. Too bad they are out of room.  
*Edge and Rus glance at eachother and nod, rebuilding the blanket/pillow nest and moving the other three into it.*  
Axe: Hey, would ya look at that, suddenly there is more room. Too much room, if only we had one more... *Glances into kitchen spotting Red. Approaches the grouch from behind with plan.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Axe literally walks up behind Red, who was looking for soda in the fridge, and putting him in a headlock to drag him to the sans pile. Red tries to bite but Axe has him under the jaw.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Axe throws Red right next to Razz.*  
Razz: *Sniff sniff.* ... hi 12... (。-ω-)zzz *Snags Red with his free arm, with what happens to be Blue’s arm. Red will not risk breaking Blue’s arm, or face everyone’s wrath.*  
Red: *Giving Axe a death glare.* I hate you, with every fiber of my being!  
Blue: Shuuuuuuush friend.... sleep now.... *Snore.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Red is a angry growl boy. He wanted no part in this!*  
*Razz is in heaven.*

HomeHawk12  
(Not gonna lie, I’m still having way too much fun with a sick/hallucinating Razz XD)

Rus: *Big sparkly sockets.* They are so cute!!!!!  
*Slim and Stretch are taking all the pictures.*  
Edge: They do seem quite comfortable. *His sockets are just as big and sparkly, sneaks a few pictures in.*  
Blue: ..... ACHOO!  
Every Papyrus: .....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: You fucking coo and I’ll blast you.  
Razz: *Smacks Red’s face gently.* Nuuuuuu swears... 11 doesn't like it.  
Rus: .....*Holds in every noise possible.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: So what do we do now?  
Edge: Well, it is extremely late. We should probably get some rest.  
Traps: Do you think Razz will be better by then?  
Edge: Not sure. *Secretly hopes he won’t, because a smol skeleton to dote on is way too fun.*  
Traps: We can do our claws then!  
Stretch: Slim and I have ya covered till then! *Everyone looks over to see Slim and Stretch had formed their own Papyrus nest, Slim already fast asleep.

***  
Bookwyrm  
........ *Slim is completely passed out and flopped around. They had traded their arms back... Slim didn't want to sleep without it.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Awwwww Slim baby)

Edge: Well you guys have fun. I will sleep on the couch- *Trsps and Rus drag him to the nest. He gives up pretty quickly. It doesn’t take long for them to all pass out.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Axe and Traps need their iHop jdkdkd)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge had to keep up appearances. Red is actually pissed that his brother has let the others think they can just CUDDLE him at any moment! And he is a scary skeletons thank you very much!)

Rus: Can I join even if I don't have claws? I can get some polish too.  
Traps: I don't see why not!  
Edge: You better pick out decent colors.  
Rus: I think your brother would look good with a pale gold or red!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD)

*Morning comes, the peppy Papyruses spent nearly the rest of the night talking about colors. They have EVERYONES color picked. They are all laid out on the coffee table with names by the skeletons they go with.*

(Red is going to LOVE the colors picked for himXP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The Papyri are just teenage girls.)  
*Razz has been happy at the bottom of the Sans pile. Small purrs and has his head tucked into Red and his legs on Blue.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Yawns, forcing himself into a sitting position, only to get Razz’s claws stuck on a blanket.*  
Blue: Oh yeah, that was a thing.... hey Razz?  
Razz: ...*Snore*...  
Blue: *Feeling his forehead, not liking that he still felt a bit warm but was glad he was sleeping peacefully.... and Red with his arms rapped around Razz protectively and drooling all over the place.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Red made a lil grumpy sound when Blue moved Razz’s head to feel the forehead.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue gently lets Razz’s head fall back into place, slowly standing up to think about breakfast. He finds Traps looking at the fridge and cabinets, very lost.*  
Blue: Traps? What’s wrong?  
Traps: oh! I woke up feeling hungry and everyone else was still asleep, so I thought I would start on breakfast. Unfortunately, I’m not even sure where to start. I can barely remember what foods were considered breakfast foods anymore.  
Blue: ... have you ever heard of iHop?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I’ll get my brother to shortcut it over. Here's a to-go menu I picked up, you and your brother can pick what you would like.  
Traps: Oh goodness this is so much.  
Blue: You won't be going home without a decent stash of food okay?  
Traps: ....thank you.  
Blue: *Snags a claw. AGAIN ....gosh these catch on everything.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: It helps to wear gloves when you are trying to do menial task, then they snag on the inner gloves and not everything else.  
Blue: That’s.... Good advice. I'll get the pair I wore with my battle body! Thanks!  
Traps: Sure thing!  
*Blue heads back to the living room, seeing Comic had taken his place at Razz’s other side.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
........ *Blue takes a minute to take a picture of the smallest Sans happily squished between the two larger Sanses.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*It becomes his new phone background.*  
Edge: Urrgggg, my back.... *Sits up and rolls his spine, having slept on it really awkwardly. The loud cracking sound wakes dome of the others.*  
Edge: I.... Think I just made it worse... Oh god....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Gotta sleep, bout to drop night!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Good night!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
*...... Apparently Edge slept on one of his files after spending the night in a gossip group plus passed out Slim. The file is wedged in between his lower vertebrae.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Red snaps awake, clutching both Razz and Comic protectively.*  
Red: Wha?! Where’s the fire?! WHO NEEDS AN ASS KICKING?!  
Rus: I think your brother.... or at least a kick to the spine to dislodge this... file?

***  
Bookwyrm  
......  
Red: .... did you seriously get a file stuck there AGAIN?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Stretch has big yawn, wiping his sockets while crawling off the Slim dog pile.*

Stretch: What? Who got something lodge in what again?  
Edge: NOTHING! RED IS A LIAR! This is the first time!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Is grouchy from waking up ready to fight and the forced cuddles.* Sure, whatever, I’ll get the olive oil. Definitely don't know how well it gets files unstuck. Or how we got a few bottles because SOMEONE likes to fall asleep on shit that gets all stuck in his joints!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: OH GO TO HELL!!!  
Red: Already there Boss!!!  
Traps: Brother! Look at this menu! IT’S HUGE!!!!!  
*Razz groggily pushes himself upright, only for Comic to pull him back down.*  
Comic: Naaaaaaaaa..... Sleep more plz......

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is trying to recognize who dis skele is.... gives up and snuggles down, pretty much underneath Comic, Comic’s arm thrown over Razz.* .... mmmmmmm......kay....  
Edge: .......GET THE ROBUST KIND.  
Red: YOUR ASS IS GETTING EXTRA VIRGIN.  
Edge: I STILL DON’T SEE HOW THATS AN INSULT.  
Stretch: *Holding in laughter*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD OH shit the last dialogue)

Razz:.... U..... Smell like condiments....  
Comic: *Groggily.* Heh, all the more ta ’condiment’ ya with.... snore....  
Razz: .... wha????

*Edge limped over to a kitchen chair and was resting with his arms over the back and his damaged spine exposed.*  
Stretch: *Eyeing him like he wants to make a joke.*  
Edge: YOU AND YOUR BOTTOM BITCH ASS CAN JUST SIT IN THE CORNER!  
Red: Might as well, I got ALL THE OIL he’ll ever need. *Wink wink.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Ya know you should appreciate the shit i go through with the oil do you know how hard it is to hold shit with olive oil on bones. Stretch, never let your dom do oil. It ain't worth it unless yer getting paid.  
Stretch: How did this turn to messing with me???  
Razz: ..... yer weird. *Snuggles into Comic’s side more.*  
Comic: ......and yer a snuggle bug.... just sleep.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Wait, did Stretch just dis himself or did you mean Slim? XD)  
(Ohhh Nope, it’s still Red talking! I get it now djfkfl)

Red: You mean EDUCATIONAL moment ya stupid idjit. Okay pulling on one-  
YANKS THE THING OUT IN ONE GO  
Edge: F&%! YA DICK!!!  
Blue: Language!!! People are still trying to sleep!!!!  
Blue: Seriously, why is Razz the only one NOT cursing?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: MMMMMMMMMMMM. *Not cursing...NOT CURSING.*  
Red: No idea Blue, he just seems to like you, and I think he sees his old self in you or sumthing.  
Blue: Even sick and hallucinating he doesn't curse!  
Edge: An admirable quality. *Trying to use a towel to wipe away the left on oil.* Did you have to use so much?  
Red : I ain't listening to ya whine when I don't use enough to make sure you don't get scraped too badly!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I’ll blame it on your bedroom activities.  
Blue: *Already feeing a headache coming on.* Traps? Axe? Did either of you pick your food yet?  
Traps: Indeed we have!  
Blue: Good, I’m starting to debate going on a nice walk and wanted to know if you would join.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Blue gets ready to take the Horror bros out.*  
Blue: Alright, so if you want to, grab a jacket so we can get going. ...... Rus? You’re in charge. Red? You’re in charge of Rus.  
Rus: *Was recording the sleeping Sanses.* I won't let you down!

HomeHawk12  
Slim: You think you can move Edge? Your spine still looks a bit damaged.  
Edge: Because Red DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING!  
Rus: Would you quiet down! I’m in charge and I say we need to let the others be cute a little longer!  
Edge: I’m surprised you haven’t forced him up yet!  
Rus: THEY ARE TOO PRECIOUS!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Comic smirks in his sleep.*  
Red: If this was an actual client I wouldn't let them sleep with files. Especially without any sort of prep or something to prevent scrapes.  
Edge: Oh those are lovely excuses!  
Red: I got paid enough that others didn't mind it!  
Stretch: ........*Do I..... say something???*  
Rus: I am sure Red is very good at what he does! But please! Keep it down!  
Edge: Red I am NOT one of your side clients that enjoyed pain!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Could have fooled me with all your “toys” *Shit eating grin.*  
Edge: HOW DARE YOU! MY DEVICES ARE WORKS OF ART! FINEST IN DESIGN- STOP MOCKING ME!!!  
Razz: Urrrrggg.... the noise hurts my brain.....  
Comic: We don’t have brains, remember?  
Razz: Oh yeah....  
Comic: Sigh.... *Says the word, not literal sigh.* We should probably get up so they go quiet.  
Razz: But I’m comfy and warm, and it will be cold getting up....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: ..... my gosh you’re a cuddler.  
Razz: hm.

Edge: YOU DARE INSINUATE THAT MY TORTURE TOOLS ARE TAINTED BY BDSM DESIRES?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: I mean.... I can see them bringing fun in the bedroom. I bet our local SUB would agree. Right squeeler?  
Stretch: STOP! Don’t bring me into this!!!  
Edge: Oh great, now you’ve broke him!  
Comic: *Sits up and pops his neck into place, despite Razz’s whining.*  
Comic: Alright now, clearly you are all desperate for my attention. Who wants it first?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh please! I want you like I want a file in my spine!  
Red; That’s your fault! Not mine!  
Razz: Urrrggggg.... why is the noise so bright?.....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: Where’s Blue?  
Rus: iHop! I'm in charge!  
Comic: Uhhhh...  
Red: I’m in charge.


	11. Razz Slowly Gets Better Somewhat And Red Is A Hoe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fever recovery at the end and Red gets DRUNK! Blue contemplates life. Edge tries soft and it kinda backfires. Poor Razzy.

HomeHawk12  
Comic: Oh. Gotcha.  
Rus: He’s only in charge of ME thank you very much!  
*Comic takes that completely wrong. Eyelights go out.*  
Comic: .... what? *Turns head to stare at Red.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Blue has me watching yer bro watch everyone else. ...... I would not want to leave volatile skeletons to be cooed over by cupcake there.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Fair enough.... makes sense.  
Razz: *Starts rattling lightly.*  
Comic: Hey, what’s wrong?  
Razz: It’s cold and you abandoned me.  
Comic: As far as I can tell, I’ve barely moved.  
Razz: Y-yes you did! You’re all the way up there, and the sound is... is too bright!  
Slim: Great, I think he’s still confused.  
Edge: I volunteer to keep an eye on him! I can’t let any of you ruin his dignity!  
Red: Pretty sure he ruined it himself- OWW!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .... did you seriously throw a file at me?  
Edge: Don’t ruin his dignity! *Gets up to snatch his small skele prize.*  
Red: *Under his breath.* Damn brat…  
Razz: Oh the red lamppost is back.......

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Yes. *Approaches his still groggy smol skele and grabs him out of the blanket nest.* The red lamppost is back to discuss flying car designs.  
Razz: *Starry eyelights.* REALLY?!  
Comic: What are we flyin?  
Edge: If you must know, Razz and I are going to create a flying car.  
Razz: To space!  
Edge: Yes.... we’ll see about that much.  
Comic: Need a hand? Imma physicist after all.  
Edge: Please, we need a lazybones like you as much as we need a bootlicker like him. *Points at a very orange blushing Stretch.*  
Razz: Lamppost.... S-Six can help....  
Edge: Six?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(6 is Comic right?)  
Razz: Iz gonna....gonna be blue. The bluest!  
Edge: Yes... well we have to make more plans and concept art right?  
Razz: *Busy snuggling into warmth.*  
Edge: *OMG yeeeeeesssss.*  
v  


HomeHawk12  
(Yep, Comic is 6, now Axe is left out of the Clone Club djfnfdjd)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Axe is the moon isn't he? Thought that was what the hallucinations told him.)

***  
HomeHawk1210/24/2020  
(Yes, Axe is the moon, Annoying Dog was the Fluffy Mushroom, Red and Blue are 12 and 11, I think Traps was another lamppost, Edge is now the Red Lamppost, Stretch was mistaken for Gaster, and Lord Hater and Slim.... never actually got a designation from his hallucinations. What they’ll be called is up in the air I guess lol)

Meanwhile with the iHop group:  
Blue: Ahhhh, such a nice, peaceful morning-  
Traps: OH MY GOSH! SANS WHAT IS THAT?! *Rushes over to an ice cream truck.* ITS GOT A BIG PINK NICE CREAM ON TOP!!!  
Axe: Don’t worry pal. Ya get used to it.... eventually. *Gives Blue sympathy pats.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... Papy was a mostly quiet kid. Mostly easy to keep happy and safe.  
Axe: .... I'm gonna get my bro an ice cream …  
Blue: Let’s see if they have ice cream sandwiches.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Blue is having the realization of, “Oh shit, I was both the responsible AND excitable one, no wonder Stretch was so tired. God Red had it BAD.” XP)

Traps: Why couldn’t we get ice cream for everyone else?  
Blue: Because we haven’t even picked up the breakfast orders, and iHop should be just around the corner.... there it is! *The glorious breakfast building surrounded by a holy glow and heavenly music.*  
Axe: It’s... *Sniffle.* It’s beautiful.... and smells amazing... *Practically floats off the ground towards the bacon smell wafting from the building.* Do they sell syrup too?  
Blue: They should.  
Axe: Heck yes!  
*Traps books it in right behind.*  
Blue: .... yeah, I can see why Papy was so tired all the time. Monsters like me are exhausting...

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Blue is having realizations everywhere. He had it the easiest with his lil bro. Oh God baby Edge would have been awful)  


*Blue orders while the two Horror Bros are pretty much fangirling to the waitress.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Axe gets a few bottles of syrup to take back.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god the waitresses are probably freaked by two horror house attractions XD)  


Traps: That lady was so nice!  
Axe: She gave me the extra syrup too. I’m not complaining… hey Blue, you alright? You got real quiet after we left.  
Blue: Oh, it’s just.... hosting so many skeletons is very.... exhausting.  
Axe: Heh, join the club.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ???  
Axe: I got a closet full of skeletons.  
Blue: What??  
Traps: The bone closet. I sometimes carve them into useful things.  
Blue: ..... we are taking you to Walmart before you leave.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD) 

*The skeletons approach the house, hearing a loud ruckus of construction noises from inside the house. The three look at each other.*  
Axe: Ya suppose that’s.... cuz of Fluffy Mushroom?  
*Cat screech, most likely Lord Hater.*  
Blue: I’m afraid to find out...  
Traps: Should I open the door?  
*More loud construction noises and a screech from Stretch. Blue doesn’t move right away.*  
Blue: I mean.... maybe Red was showing him something he likes?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ..... that’s a thing right?  
Traps: .... I hope he didn't swipe Edge’s tools if that is what’s happening.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Exhales.* OKAY.... I’ll open it in 3....2.........1. *Swings the door open, finding Razz on the couch wrapped in a blanket with an ice pack on his forehead and Edge’s notebook and pen, drawing who knows what. Edge and Comic are working on.... a tiny car? Where did they get the supplies for a tiny car? Stretch, Slim, Rus and Red are nowhere in sight.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Busy scribbling.*  
Comic: .... probably need to watch the hinges.  
Edge: *Trying to get the doors just right on the flying car toy they are making.* I know that!  
Blue: We got food. Where's my brother? And all your brothers?

*Axe and Traps have been waiting patiently plz let them eat.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: I think Rus wanted to check the gauntlet out, and Slim went to make sure he didn’t die. I think Red dragged Stretch up to his updated room, they’ve been pretty quiet until recently.  
Edge: As long as they aren’t using MY THINGS I don’t care.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: We are making a car so we will land on the moon. *Points accusingly at Axe.*  
Axe: *Pats Razz’s head.* Sure. Knock yourself out. Want pancakes?  
Razz: *Gasp.* Really? I can have some?  
Axe: Yep.  
Traps: Edge, would you like some help after food?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue walks up the staircase, knocks on Stretch’s door.*  
Blue: Papy? Red? Can I come in?  
*Door is unlocked. Blue pushes it open. Stretch is tied up with a gag in his mouth while Red is showing him an informative slideshow on BDSM.*  
Blue: ......  
Stretch: mmmmmMMM!!!!  
Blue: ..... food is here if you guys want any.... or not....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: ...  
Blue: At least you're being kinky quietly in his room. Please don't use Edge’s stuff I don't want to remodel again. We got more iHop.  
Red: Oh shit awesome. Did-  
Blue: Yes I got Edge smile pancakes and I got Papy some regular ones, with SYRUP not honey. ...... I'll give you 10 minutes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Thanks buddy!  
*Blue shuts the door still completely unsure what the hell he actually witnessed. He was going to choose ignoring it....*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Blue doesn't want to know his brother's bedroom activities. The honey problem or otherwise. As long as he is safe.*

Edge: *Cutting pancakes.*  
Razz: .... are you sure this will keep the poison out of my pancakes?  
Edge: Yes. Do you need me to feed it to you?  
Razz: .... will it keep the poison out better?  
Edge: ......yes?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz:.... *Hands still shaky and having trouble with depth perception.*  
Razz: ... okay.  
Edge: *Internal happy squeal.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I totally referred to Gaster possibly drugging food for his test subjects, whether Razz has had it happen to him or seen other test groups receive that treatment)  


Razz: *Nom.*  
Edge: * Internal happiness incarnate.*  
Razz: ...... it’s good!  
Comic: ........... you like to dote on people don't you?  
Edge: I don't know what you’re talking about.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I agree, and personally think since skeletons have no esophagus they need to accept food, it can’t be forced down or it just falls out.)

Red: Don’t even get me started on- OW! A FORK? Really???  
Edge: Whoops, finger slipped.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: I come down here from educating the young, keeping him from hurting himself or others, and this is how you treat me?  
Edge: I don't have to explain my-  
Razz: NO! I trusted you Red Lamppost! Twelve! *Tries to get to Red to check on him, almost falls from the couch.*  
Edge: Oh wait! *Tries to catch Razz from falling.*  
Razz: *Gets to Red, grabs Red’s face to inspect him.*  
Red: HEY! What-oof!- ged off! *Swats at Razz.*  
Razz: Did the Lamppost hurt you?!?!? I will avenge you!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: *Realizes he’s losing his smol skeleton prize to Red.*  
Red: Get off a me!  
Razz: Tell me where it hurts!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The image of the Fell Bros fighting over who gets a hallucinating Razz attention is the best, Red not really wanting it and Edge coveting it.)  


Red: Get off ya crazy berry!  
Razz: *Now pretty much sitting on Red’s back, searching for injury.* Twelve! Let me see. *Pats down Red.* Did the lamppost hide the damage? I can fight him, the dirty traitor! It wasn't even a fight, I can take him!  
Red: GET OFF!  
Edge: I am not- Razz please come back and finish your pancakes.  
Razz: *Sitting on Red’s shoulders, pointing at Edge.* IT'S PROBABLY POISON! TRAITOR!  
Slim: *Bringing Rus back from outside, overheard the last few lines.* Oh no.... you got him started on traitor stuff? *Facepalm.* Oh no....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh no? What oh no?!  
Slim: Do you know how much he’s dealt with people stabbing him in the back? He never gets over people he thinks broke his trust. You’re done for.  
Edge: *Whimpers.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt Twelve!  
Razz: Liar! *Growls.*  
Red: God dammit....  
Razz: Six! Help me take down this treacherous lamppost!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: ...um. I am... uh. Low on magic. Yeah *Shrugs.*  
Razz: *INSTANT PROTECT MODE (very ineffective right now)* Six! You should have said something! *Tries to get to Comic while pulling Red along, he needs to gather his brothers to P r O T e C t! *  
Red: Stahp!  
Comic: *Sweat Drops.* Uhhh....  
Edge: *Tries to gently pull Razz down for a cuddle.* I don't want to hurt you, ok? Let's calm down-  
Razz: *Swipes a bone at Edge.* BACK LAMPPOST! BEFORE I SKEWER YOU!  
Slim: Now you've done it..... Razz has a lot of paranoia.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: YOU WORK WITH THE SPIDERS DON’T YOU?!?! YOU WANTED SEX WITH MY OLD ARM!!!!!  
Blue: *Looks at the arm he borrowed.* Wait what?  
Edge : It was a moment of weakness!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: How is spider sex a moment of weakness???  
Razz: *Growls.* YOU ARE IN LEAGUE WITH THE DARN SPIDERS!  
Slim: ..... oh God damnit not the spiders too....  
Red: GET OFF!!!  
Razz: Twelve you are injured! And Six is drained, I will not let you get hurt again. *Grabby hands for Blue.* Eleven? Help?  
Edge: I don't want sex at all!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue is seriously debating going out for cigarettes and never coming back.*  


Razz: DON’T WORRY I'LL SAVE YOU! *Attempts to pull Blue closer with blue magic. It gives out and Blue smashes his head on the table.*  
Razz: Eleven NO!!!!!! *Dives for Blue bawling.*  
Edge: I.... I ruined everything....  
Slim: Yeah.... you kind of did.  
Stretch: Bro?! Are you okay???  
Razz: STAY AWAY FROM HIM YOU LAMPPOST SYMPATHIZER!!!!  
Stretch: You’re the one that hurt him!!!  
Blue: I wanna lie down.... forever....  
Rus: Oh my gosh! I’ll get more ice packs!!!!  
Razz: LAMPPOST! I TRUSTED YOU TO MAKE A CAR WITH!!! HOW COULD YOU?!?!?  
*Red and Comic try to sneak out while Razz’s back is turned.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: MY TEAL CAR FOR THE MOON IS RUINED NOW. IT WAS ALL LIESSSSSSSSSS!  
Blue: ..... okay now I see why people get tired with my energy and Razz holds a lot of stuff back.  
Razz: SIX STAY WITH TWELVE!!! HE STILL HAS MAGIC. FRICK YOU RED LAMPPOST I’LL MESS YOU UP.  
Edge: Razz I don’t- I am just trying to help.  
Razz: I DON’T NEED HELP FROM TRAITORS AND SPIDER SYMPATHIZERS!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: WHERE’s MY S-SPIKEY WHIP!!! .... I.... I NEED TA.... TA.... UUHHHhhhhh.....  
*Razz’s current energy level has dropped to near zero. Head drops to the floor next to Blue.*  
Razz: W-when did I.... ohhh the floor feels nice...  
Edge: *Is currently devastated. He wants to cry.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Is so fucking over this.* Aight Boss, he'll like ya again when he wakes if you wear something else or he stops hallucinating.  
Edge: He HATES ME NOW!  
Red: If you pick the brat up he would still cuddle up.  
Edge: BUT HE DOESN’T WANT ME TOO!  
Blue: ...... Stretch, please pack his pancakes up. NEATLY please.  
Stretch: *Hasn’t seen his bro this tired in a long long time.* Sure....?  
Red: Just pick the skeleton up and get your darn cuddles.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Get them in while he’s out of it XD)  
(Okay driving home then going to bed. Goodnight!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Night!)  
(Honestly, Razz will be back to his prickly self soon, with very little physical affection shown. He is already gonna be pissed at what has already happened to him)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhhh yes, that’s gonna be a treat. Also deciding how much he actually remembers and everyone else trying to figure it out too)

Axe: Okay, I’ve seen enough. *Picks Razz off the floor, the smaller nestling into him immediately. Lord Hater’s tail is dangling out of Axe’s head crack.*  
Slim: Where are you taking him?  
Axe: Back to Blue’s room so he can get some proper rest. If we let him use his magic and be active like that he’s just gonna get worse again.  
Edge: *Feels like the scum of the earth and doesn’t argue. Axe takes Razz upstairs and puts him under the covers, The berry getting distressed by the lack of contact.*  
LH: Meow! *Jumps out of Axe’s socket and snuggles up in Razz’s arms filling his need.*  
Razz: .... soft marshmallow.... *Snore.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Also just how much he will ADMIT to remembering)  


.......  
Axe: Okay you little parasite. *Sits back down for the cuddle bug to latch onto.*  
Razz: Hmmmmm..... You’re a warm moon...  
Axe: ..... you may be filled with spite, but you are kinda adorable.

Blue: .... Red, how did you deal with an energetic child?  
Red: *Looks at Edge, who is about to cry from Razz not wanting him anymore. (Something that you have to recognize the signs to even notice)* ........ Blue, I am STILL dealing with an energetic child.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god, Red totally is XD)

Comic: Hey Pap?  
Rus: Yes?  
Comic: You were a good kid.  
Rus: Of course I was! I am the coolest after all!  
Comic: Heh, you sure are bro. *Gives Blue a look and winks, the gears in Blue’s head turning as he watches Comic just chilling as Rus babbles.*  
Stretch: Okay bro, let me see your forehead. *Now has the entire first aid kit.*  
Red: Hold on Boss, I got a solution. *Goes to the front closet and pulls out a green infinity scarf and sunglasses.* There, you’re green lamppost now.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... you sure this will work?  
Red: It’s not like he can really tell between the Papyruses right now.  
Rus: *Looking over Razz’s drawings.* ...... what are these even supposed to be?  
Blue: ... *Noticed Axe isn't back.*.... I'm going to take Axe his food.  
Red: Just wear the scarf and glasses.  
Edge: ..... they really don't match my clothes.  
Red: *Deep inhale.* .... do you want Razz to try and attack you again?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Carefully peaks into his bedroom seeing Razz, Lord Hater and Axe all sleeping. Axe cracks a socket open at Blue’s intrusion. *  
Blue: A-are you still hungry? I brought up your breakfast.  
Axe: Aww, thanks buddy. Who knew I’d get breakfast in bed too.  
Blue: It’s... actually quiet up here.  
Axe: Yep, perfect napping conditions.  
*Edge peers his head in over Blue with the outfit.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(And there goes the quiet, edge boy... isn't known for being a quiet boy)  


Axe: *Quietly eats his pancakes and bacon.*  
Razz: *Snuggles up to the large Sans, covered in blankets.*  
Blue: ... how do you get him quiet, Axe?  
Axe: You, just have to give attention. Be there. My brother is eating right?  
Edge: He is and is looking over the drawings with Rus. ..... how did ... what did you do to get him so... *Hand gestures.*  
(Axe has 2 boys wanting his brotherly wisdom now, Axe is the eldest skeleton here now)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Axe, you must share your infinite knowledge. Don’t let these lost boys down)

Axe: Eh, I’m just kinda here. No shouting, no drastic motions or fighting. *Sits back and yawns.* Just gotta go with the flow. Fighting against or fighting ta change it will just make ya tired. Kinda have to when the worlds coming to an end and everyone is starving to death.  
*Opens his sockets to see both of them staring at him intently, like he was a wise safe or something.* Uhhhhh, did I say something wrong?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: What else do you do? How do you deal with hysterics? What about keeping someone entertained?  
Edge: .... how do you get them to … like you? And not... try to attack?  
Axe: ......um. *What the heck, Axe isn't an expert what???*  
Blue: How do you get enough sleep?  
Axe: ...you don't?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: I mean.... why do ya think I’m napping all the time?  
Blue: .... laziness?  
Edge: Crippling depression?  
Axe: .... okay, both of those may have some element of truth, but let’s think about the cause, not the symptoms.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ...... crippling....injury?  
Axe: ..... ok look. Think about Comic and Red too.  
Edge: ......paranoia?  
Blue: .... um, the... condiments?  
Axe: .............  
Blue: .... you just enjoy naps?  
Axe: Ok so just, look. It takes a lot to keep up with someone super energetic that is usually much taller and faster than you. That and the dangers of some universes from what I've seen.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: .... that’s what Red uses short cuts for.  
Axe: *Facepalms.*  
Axe: Just observe and take notes fellas. I think that’s gonna be the best way to explain everything.  
*Both take out notebooks and sit in the corner of the room, watching intently. Over the next thirty minutes Axe just lays on the bed next to Razz, patting his head when he starts mumbling, letting Lord Hater crawl all over him before settling back by Razz; and even humming some soothing tunes before dozing off himself.*  
Edge: ...  
Blue: .....  
Edge: ....... but he’s.... not doing anything?  
Blue: I think that’s the point....?(

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... there has to be some secret. What key is he humming in?  
Blue: ...uh. I don't know?  
Axe: *Is literally just chilling and offering his presence.*  
LH: *Purrrs.* Meow.  
Edge: .... is the cat in key with the hums?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Okay guys.... Blue, go outside and run nine laps around the gauntlet then come back and try again. Edge, you run fifteen.  
Blue: Why does Edge run more?  
Axe: Cuz he’s further from understanding. Ya both need ta get some of your excess energy out. I can feel it from here.  
*Edge and Blue look at eachother, standing upright and heading outside to follow instructions. Axe takes the chance to curl in for a deeper sleep.*  
Razz: .....mmmm.... fluffy....moony..... marshmallows... *Snores.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I don't understand....  
Edge: Should we grab Stretch or Red to run with us?  
Blue: We can ask.  
(Axe giving them homework and chores to let him sleep)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Let’s go Runt!!!! Only twelve more laps!  
Red *Huff.* *Wheeze.* I-Imma kill you! *Dying.*  
Edge: I’ll carry you then! *Grabs and throws him over his shoulder.*  
Blue: Come on Papy! We got this!  
Stretch: *Already dead face down in the dirt.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: I have done this damn course too many times in the last few days...  
Blue: Papy you deserved most of them.  
Stretch: Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.  
Red: Put me down you TALL BRAT! *Doesn’t like the height he is at! Not at all! *  
Edge: NO. I WILL LEARN AXE'S SECRETS.  
Red: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ooooof, they are always so focused on height, but once Red gets the chance to be tall he nopes out)

*Lap 7. Blue is dragging Stretch by the ankles, and Red has finally given into his fate, pulling his hood up and tightening the string so he wouldn't have to see anything.*  
blue: *Pant pant.* Almost there Papy! J-just *Wheeze.* ONE MORE LAP!!!  
Edge: YOU BETTER NOT BE SLEEPING UP THERE RUNT!!!!  
Red:F@&K You!!!!  
Blue: LANGUAGE!!!!  
*Meanwhile Comic, Rus and Traps are watching. Comic naps while the others cheer the course racers on.*  
(Sorry about getting sporadic. Been driving a lot today lol)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I bet it's just to not be the shortest Sans. Like Razz. Red was not prepared to be up so high, like nope!) (Also no problem)  


Stretch: Don’t complain Red! You aren't actually running anymore!  
Red: I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I AM ON THE GROUND NOT ABOUT TO FALL OFF THIS HELL COURSE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Finally in the voting line! And it's freezing today)

Edge: And DONE!!! *Crosses the finish line of his 15th lap. All the excitable ones jump and cheer! Edge and Blue are now exhausted*  
Edge: W-we will NOW see if- *Pant.* Axe shall reveal his secrets! *Wheeze.*  
Red: *Knees him in the head, Edge dropping him with a thud.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oof. It's pretty chilly where I am in midwest, just got done with a 6.6 ft bone dragon....... he a lil derp as he has two right wings and its not really worth it to try and get a left wing for him)  


Red: *Landed on his head.* I FUCKING SAID TO LET ME GO!  
Edge: *Is on the ground next to Red in pain as well.* NO I NEED TO LEARN AXE'S SECRETS TO SKELETON CARE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(THUJKKJF I LOVE HIM!!!!! XD your bone dragon is adorable, regardless of derp levels. It just adds to his charm IMAO.  
Thankfully the voting line was pretty short when I got here so I didn’t have to stand outside for too long. Now just waiting for booth a opening)

Red: YA NEED TA LEARN TO LET THINGS BE YA IDIOT!  
Edge: *Pant pant.* NO! IF I DON'T DO THIS RAZZ WILL NEVER LIKE ME AGAIN!!  
Stretch: Seriously guys, it’s because you both try too hard.  
Blue: *Pant pant.* Oh hush, you don’t know what you're saying.  
Edge: W-when the world stops spinning.... why’d you knee me so hard?!!  
Red: Why’d ya carry me through that dumb gauntlet?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He screams at people for 5 minutes straight and that's a mood)  


Edge: THAT'S HOW I SHOW I CARE DAMMIT!  
Red: I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING CARRIED LIKE A SACK OF FLOUR! *Gets up and brushes himself off.*

Axe: *Is woken from the noise, obviously not learning the lesson skeletons outside ..... turns over and snuggles Razz more.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Frick that’s hilarious! I love your lawn decor already! Also I’m done in the polls! My civic duty is complete fjdkdk)

Red: Imma go ta.... it’s Muffet’s in this world right? Yeah, Muffet’s.  
Stretch: P-p-please don’t leave me alone!  
Edge: Whatever! Come Blue, let us gain Axe’s knowledge!  
Blue: Y-yeah. *Feeling tired from all the running.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Woot! and I will switch his eyes to red once Halloween shows up)  


Red: .......  
Muffet: .......  
Red: So it’s.... mostly sweets here? And deli sandwiches or something?  
Muffet: Sure. Want a beer?  
Red: Oh sweetheart, you read my mind.  
Muffet: *Giggles.* Oh. A sweet talker. Let me get that for you.  
Red: *Smirks.* Yes please.

Edge: *Burst into the bedroom.* Axe! I have done the laps! Tell me the secrets!  
Blue: Edge! Don't wake them!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Nice! Then he’ll be screaming but with more demonic energy lol) 

Axe: Wha? *Groggily sits up a little, remembering their failed lesson.* Right.... *Yawn.* Now that I’ve worn you out, it’s time for you to lounge like a lazy-bones.  
Edge: .... what?  
Blue: You want us to nap?  
Axe: Yep. *Pats the free side of the bed.*  
Edge: I.... That doesn't make any sense!  
Axe: If ya wanna know my secrets, you gotta lay down on the bed. I'll let ya lay down on Razz’s opposite side.  
*Edge fidgets, but the wanting to snuggle with his skele prize won out over his pride.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... Am I doing it right? *Sits stock still and stiff.*  
Axe: Relax like Blue did.  
Blue: *Is sleeping finally.*  
Edge: *Gasps, and Razz snuggles in between him and Axe.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz feels Edge’s scarf tickling the back of his head, swats tiredly till he finds Edge’s arm and pulls it snugly over his shoulder.*  
Edge: Double gasp! you are brilliant Axe!  
Axe:... Heh, I have my moments. *Snores.*  
Edge eventually snoozes too.  
(So many inopportune moments for Razz to come to his senses djfjflgl)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I feel it coming soon... maybe waking from this cuddle?)  


Edge performs the scratchies procedure for Sanses that Rus showed him. He is rewarded with Razz purrs.*  
(Sick Razzy is a cuddle bug)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(That seems like the most hilarious moment to do it lol, though I can't see him being 100% and just being an awful feeling grouch that wanted to hide under the covers forever after murdering anyone who would dare disturb him)  
(he IS though and it's adorable. Healthy Razz only makes exceptions for Lord Hater and occasionally Slim if nightmares were bad enough.... It’s been a year though)

*Lord Hater crawls between Edge and Razz in the little space she can force, kneading at Edge’s chest while enjoying the purring vibrations of her owner. Edge has entered a new level of nirvana.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge getting those limited edition cuddles, kitties and sansies)  


*Stretch is now playing uno with Traps, Rus, Slim and Comic.*  
Rus: ... should we retrieve Red?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: I mean, he did seem pretty upset. It may just be better at let him cool off.  
Stretch: I can't believe he wouldn't let me go to my own Muffet’s.... This is my world not his....

Red: *Super incredibly drunk, singing Karaoke with the drunk Rabbit head. LOTS of ACDC.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Red is a shameless flirt and this drunk bunny thinks he is charming, unlike his who is a violent crazy lady that really shouldn't be drinking with her violent tendency. Muffet is just giggling at Red’s antics.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Even Jerry tries muscling his way on stage, but nobody likes Jerry in any universe so Red practically chucks him out of the building much to everyone's gratitude. He gets treated to a round of free drinks.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: .... I know he can handle situations but.... what if he severely hurts someone when minimal force is necessary?  
Slim: Pretty sure if he killed someone we wouldn't find the body, or dust.  
Traps: He doesn't seem like someone who would be wasteful.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Meanwhile, at the restaurant, some monsters are getting handsy with some of the rabbit girls, much to their displeasure. An incredibly drunk Red is also a very stupid Red.*  
Red: *Hic.* Hey assholes! Leave. *Hic.* Them ladies alone.  
Thug: Oh yeah? Get lost loser. *The other thug shoves him back. A big mistake.*  
Red: Buddy. *Summons blasters*...I can promise a WAY better time!

back at the house  
Rus: Are those sirens?  
Slim: Those belong to a firetruck. Sounds like two of them at least... And a police car.  
Comic:.... *Wondering if Red had something to do with it.* Nah, can't be. My imagination is getting the best of me again.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Cue Thug 2 trying to get Thug 1 out of a blaster's jaws, where Red is holding him hostage for touching a girl. A chair is broken and Red is slurring his words heavily.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: Y-you- *Hic.* B-butter run p-paul... *Hic.* *The leg of the chair gets smashed against Red’s head by the second thug, which finally forces his blaster to let go.*  
RED:..... owwwww. *Feels at the blood dripping from the head wound. He's down to five HP. * Hey a-ass- *Hic.*  
*Thug 1 tackles him, ramming them both into Swap Grillby, who happens to be at the restaurant with his niece. He smashes head first into the curtains catching them on fire and setting the alarms off. Muffet is calling the police and making a mental note of all the damages and who will be paying.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Swap Grillby makes fancy burgers from his food truck and you can't convince me otherwise.*  


*Red is getting looked over by Muffet while the police try to get the situation under control.*

Stretch: Red wouldn't make a scene in my universe right? He doesn't have any papers or identity here.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This Grillby has a fancy bow tie with different food themed patterns for every day of the week dkdkfl)

*While all this discussion is happening, Red gets questioned by police and asked for an ID, only he didn't have one so they had to take him to the police station with the thugs.*

a few hours later.  
Comic: Huh, Red is calling me.  
Stretch: Weird, usually he just sends text messages.  
comic: Hello?  
Red: So, uhhh... Don't tell Boss or anyone else.... but I need ya to bail me out.  
Comic: Out of a ’sticky’ situation?  
Red:... out of jail ya dumbass.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I bet he has French fry one on rn)  


......  
Comic: ..... what. Dude. What the hell happened?  
Red: Look needed to show identification and I couldn't okay? Pretty-pretty sure they won't accept universe hopper as a excuse.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic:...... Alright, but it's gonna have ta be Stretch or Blue. I don't have ID for this word either.  
Red: SHITTTTTT!!!!!  
Comic: Hey, can we borrow your bros car? And some bail money?  
Stretch:..... Dear God he did make a scene....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: I dunno.... hey Red, did you make a scene?  
Red: I didn't! DEEZ FUCKERS WERE TOUCHIN THE NICE LADIES AT MUFFIE'S!!!  
Comic: ....... Muffie’s?  
Red: Lovely lady, sooooo many nice hands and good drinks that aren't watered down. Da bestest.  
Comic: ........ are you kidding me?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Just don’t tell Razz you like spiders, alright? We don't need a repeat of breakfast.  
Razz: Muffies a sexy lady..... *Burp.*  
Stretch: I just went to ask my bro about the car, and he, Edge, Axe and Razz are dead asleep. I don't think disturbing that is a good idea...  
Rus: Oh! Are we taking a trip to the jail!  
Red: NOOO!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red appreciates all and any women. He can find sumthing to appreciate for anyone, has a silver tongue used for sweet, spicy, and sour.)  


Red: Jus.... jus dun tell boss..... he'll make me clean mah room ‘gain.  
Rus: I have always wanted to see a proper jail!  
Comic: Paps, you can see one at home you don't have-  
Rus: What if Red needs help walking? Only me and traps are qualified in sans carrying!  
Red: *To someone else but in phone range* .... ‘ey fucker One! What did you just say ‘bout my Muffie? She is a Saint ‘nd best bizniz woman I know ‘round here! Shut yer filthy flesh bag mouth!  
Comic: Ooooooooh we need to pick him up, where's the police station?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD Red is that asshole that everyone questions why the hell a lady would date him, then he let's his sweet side out on occasion and it all makes sense. Such a gentleman djflg)

Stretch: Alright, got the key without my bro noticing, we’ll be back before anyone notices.  
Rus: CAR RIDE!!!!! *Rushes to the garage with Traps right behind.*  
Comic: We’re on our way. Just don't get stuck with any charges before we get there.  
Red: Ya- *HIC.* Better be! This is my only pho- *Sound of dial tone.*  
Comic: Oh boy..... the excitable ones won't be happy.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red is a right bastard ..... that is smooth as fuck. And a slight banged up and dirty white knight.... maybe more like a morally gray knight)  
When the skeletons get to the station red has passed out drunk.... multiple lipstick smears on his skull...  
Stretch: .... how did this happen in only three hours?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Then he turns into whatever color knight his partner wants in the bedroom. Truly multitalented.)

Rus: Did... did he get smashed in the head by something.  
Red: *In his sleep.* Zzzzzz... Muffie you wild....  
Stretch: I'm just... Gonna pay his bail.  
Rus: *Picks up Red the same way Edge was doing with Razz earlier. Red nestles into his shoulder mumbling more things about his new spider queen.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
......  
*Muffet stops Stretch on the way out…*  
Muffie: .... Papyrus?  
Stretch: hey Muffet.  
Muffie: ....... I want his number.  
Stretch: .....what?  
Muffie: *Looks at Red...... one of the shades of lipstick suspiciously... matches Muffet’s shade.* I need it in case of legal issues. And in case I need a hand with repairs.  
Red: ..zzzz... such nice hands....zzzzz...

***  
HomeHawk12  
(YESSSS XDDDD)

*Stretch does give her the number, Muffie walking off with extra pep in her step. He just crawls into the driver's seat of the car while everyone else piles in.*  
Stretch: I-I think my Muffet has feelings for Red...  
Comic: Based on the stuff he keeps sayinf about her hands, I believe it.  
Red:.... zzzz.... classy lady...zzzz…. 

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: ...beeeeeeest bizniz woman....... yes boss lady~ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~  
Stretch: .........  
Comic: ..... how does he... do that???  
Traps: He must have memorized the dating manual.  
Rus: Truly a great accomplishment that! *Pats Red’s back.*  
Comic: Shouldn’t people be a little scared of his LV? How does he...?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Hah... Maybe the ladies love him because he’s... Bad to the Bone.  
Comic: Heheheheheheh.  
Rus: NO!  
Traps: UGH!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Yeeeeeess. *Sleepily semi awake.* And I aaaaall wayz treat da ladies like...like da muther fucking QUEENS dey are...  
Comic: .... and that just... works?  
Red: I ’'ave rogue-ish charms ands a soft center fer da ladies.  
Stretch: I got Muffet’s number for you.  
Red: Fer reals???  
Traps: .... I have counted five different shades of lipstick red. That's impressive.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: *So proud of himself and bragging like a slurring asshole.* A-and remember... if a guy ask ya for da same treatment... charge ‘em extra...*Hic.*  
Comic: Oh thank Christ there’s the house.  
*Stretch already wondering if he can ever show his face at Muffet’s again.*  
Stretch: Let’s just stick him in my room and hope Edge doesn’t see him.  
Rus: They must be having a great nap if none of them have tried contacting us yet.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: Well, they are trying advice from my brother, and I have realized he sleeps more than most Sanses because of his injury, and our universe when he can... Axe probably lulled them all into actual-  
* A shriek that was followed with loud growls is heard from Blue’s room.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(And so it begins fjdhdj)

Traps: W-was that Razz?  
Stretch: Blue?!  
*He rushes up the staircase having flashbacks to Blue’s head wound from that morning. He throws the door open, seeing Axe, Blue and Edge held up against the wall with blue magic. Razz is shakily standing on the bed, still looking like shit but trying to hide it behind an enraged snarl. He has Lord Hater clutched protectively in his free arm.*  
Razz: WHAT IN TORIEL’s NAME DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro my Papyrus face mask came in and I love it!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He's is adorable!)  


Razz: *Notices Stretch and pings him in blue as well.* WHAT HAPPENED AND WHY WERE YOU ALL SLEEPING ON ME?!?  
LH: *Mew.*  
Razz: *Scratches Lord Hater’s chin a bit.* WHERE’S MY BROTHER AND WHY WAS I IN BED WITH YOU ALL?!?! AND WHY DOES BLUE HAVE MY ARM?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Thanks! It wasn’t cheap but it’s good quality so I won’t complain lol)  
(Oh god, when Razz discovers what he is wearing XD)

Stretch: Okay, there is a very LONG explanation behind that, and I’d rather not be up against a wall for the whole thing.  
Razz: START TALKING THEN AND I’LL LET YOU GO SOONER-  
Slim: Sans! *Rushes into the bedroom, Razz letting him get close.*  
Slim: It’s okay, I promise they were just helping me watch over ya.  
Razz: Watch me? I am perfectly fine and in no need of such a thing! You should know this!  
Slim: I-I know, I’m sorry, just... please let them go?  
*Razz staggers a little and rapidly blinks to keep focused but still trying to keep his enraged glare.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Poor baby is still exhausted from being sick)  


Slim: It’s just... just that they knew more than me on how to help a sick skeleton.  
Razz: I don’t- I would have been fine without it!  
Slim: I didn't know that, Sans!  
Razz: *Huff .....Huff ....*. What the heck am I wearing?!?  
Blue: *Rubbing his sockets, a very rude awakening.* Is Razzy lucid 'gain? *Yawn.*  
Blue: And look! Razzy still isn't cursing.... it's not that hard!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Can’t see him being top form after all that shit fdksl.)

Slim: Okay, we are all fine now.  
Razz: No, because I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY THEY WERE SLEEPING ON TOP OF ME?!  
Axe: You were clinging a lot in your sleep.  
Razz: EXCUSE ME?!?!  
*Axe shrugs.*  
Axe: Every time one of us got close to ya or tried moving ya to a better spot, you kind of clung on for dear life. Didn’t give us much- *WOAH!*  
*Ducks sideways dodging a hastily thrown bone, Razz’s cheeks turning purple from embarrassment.*  
Razz: LIES! I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THESE FALSEHOODS!!!  
Axe: I’m just stating fact.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: SLANDER! *Is still weak and has to sit down from standing on the bed.*  
Edge: Release me! *Struggling on the wall.*  
Blue: *Has gone back to sleep while held against the wall.*  
Razz: NOT UNTIL I GET PROPER CLOTHES!! NOT THESE CHILDISH PJS!  
Axe: Jeez kid, don't gotta get all huffy.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh no Blue is too exhausted for words the poor boy)

Razz: I most certainly do! I WAS GUARD CAPTAIN FOR CHRIST SAKE!!! How dare you insult me with such CHILDISH SLEEPWEAR!!!  
Comic: Is everything okay in there?  
*Prakshead in.*  
Razz: GET OUT!  
Comic: Relax dude, everyone has already seen you in those pjs so there’s nothing to hide.  
Razz: WHAT?!!!!!  
Edge: Your clothes are in the wash! Now LET ME GO!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I DON'T CARE! *Is very upset at the hazy memories of how vulnerable he was and the fact someone changed his clothes and saw all his scars, poor baby feels very violated .... at least a lil bit.*  
Red: *Bangs on the wall between the bedrooms.* QUIET DOWN IMMA SLEEPING.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: GO TO HELL!!!! GAHHHHH!!! *Takes everyone's souls except for Slims and throws them out of the room, using a bone to slam the door behind them before summoning a bone wall outside as a warning.*  
Slim: Sans! Stop using your magic like that. You’ll get sick again.  
Razz: *Jabs a finger in his sternum.* *Huff*... ANSWERS... *Huff*... NOW.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz is three steps from a panic attack. Only years of compartmentalizing are keeping him together. There were sooo many opportunities where he was vulnerable and open to injury or attack.*  
Slim: You were sick and hallucinating... I didn't know how to help much but the others seemed to know and you got better eventually!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Trying to do his breathing exercises, a bit faster than normal. They all saw him weak, defenseless, pity worthy. Possibly naked...*  
Slim: I-if it helps, I was the one that changed you so nobody else saw anything.... *Suddenly remembers Blue saw his bro shirtless, and he wasn’t sure if Edge saw anything either.* Nobody else, definitely just me.  
Razz: *Breathing speed intensifies.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: W-why did you let them put me in this?!  
Slim: W-well, we had a more dignified pair for you, b-but they got all wet....  
Razz: *Internally screaming since he has NO IDEA how he would have gotten wet.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is not having a good time tbh.)  


Razz: How long was I vulnerable? I can't tell how long I was sick. It's spotty what I remember. *Pulls a blanket around himself as if to build a protective wall.*

HomeHawk12  
Slim: T-two days I think-  
Razz: TWO DAYS?!?!  
Slim: Y-yeah. The first night was really rough, b-but then we got into a better rhythm for the next night! And now you’re well again.... a-are you okay?  
*Razz whimpers, pulling the blanket over his head hoping it would eat him. He’s gonna freak out. Anymore news would send him into who knows what kind of psychotic break.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(It’s probably even worse if Gaster tried drugs before that made it hard to remember afterwards, like to boost aggression or something. or if Razz had been drugged from other monsters before)  


Slim: Sans? *Cautiously approaches.* Are you.... alright?  
Razz: No. I am not, they could have done anything to me and WHY DO I HAVE BLUE’S ARM AND NOT MY OWN!?!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The Lab was not kind in the drugging department... yeah he’s paranoid about that. Monster steroids are bad for baby skeletons.)

Razz: Wait... was this... SOME SORT OF SEX THING?!?!?!  
Slim: NO! Why would you-  
Razz: Oh god... they were playing build a skeleton weren’t they?! And I BET IT WAS STRETCH’S IDEA!!! DID THEY DRUG ME?! DID I DO ANYTHING- OH GOD!!! *Buries face into the mattress and curls into fetal position.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(As a Royal Guard Razz has seen some shit from not only drugs willingly taken but unwillingly taken as well. Razz has seen awful things even after the lab that he was mostly able to keep away from Slim... not enough, never enough, but at least Slim didn't see all of it. Razz is both innocent and seen too much)  


Slim: Would it help if I got your arm back?  
Razz: I really need it back. please.  
Slim: *Not used to the fragile tone Razz had for that word.* Um, yeah, i'll do that.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Poor boy feels like he let his brother see too much, and doesn’t know what the others exposed him to while he was out of it, or what was exposed to himself. Everything he’s worked on building up with Slim’s image of him is suddenly crumbling and the confused panic just makes it worse)

*Razz wordlessly, shakily, pops Blue’s arm out of socket and hands it to Slim. hiding his face from sight again. Slim shortcuts outside the room seeing Razz’s bone wall is still erected, with everyone except for Red, Traps and Rus in the hallway eavesdropping.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razzy feels really vulnerable, these skeletons he hardly knows and some was on rocky terms with could have done anything to him and he wouldn't remember or have been able to adequately defend himself)  


Stretch: Ummm…. so how’s it going?  
Blue: *Exchanges the arms.*  
Slim: He’s not taking it too well.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Exactly. Now he fears one of the lazies, especially Stretch, May have done something. He already knows which ones don’t like him) 

*All hear a miserable groan from the bedroom.*  
Slim: .... How much have you been able to hear? *He whispers cuz he has a feeling.*  
Stretch: .... most of it....  
Comic: Should we leave him be? To calm down?  
Slim: I really don’t want to leave him alone. *Seeing him actively vulnerable while hallucinating was one thing. Vulnerable while his mind is here... feels completely different.*  
Blue: Should... should I talk to him?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Lord Hater jumped back up on the bed with Razz, letting him pull her close with his good arm and trying to use her as an anchor.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Especially with the somewhat hate-friendship thing they had going on. who knows how far some of them would go???)  


Slim: Maybe just me and Blue? At least to return his arm and tell him what went on.  
Razz: *Tries to match up with LH's purrs.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz is trying so hard to stay calm, poor baby. I think Stretch views their relationship as friend-enemy, Razz probably just thinks Stretch hates him and is just good at acting the part. He can’t find many reasons for Stretch to like him after the whole bedroom incident)

*Slim and Blue shortcut into the room, seeing Razz hidden under the covers with an orange tail sticking out.*  
Blue: Hey Razz... I brought your arm back. *Holds it out to the blanket pile, Razz quickly grabbing it.*  
Razz: Wait.... did you manicure this hand?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(poor Razzy has a bad perception of friendships because he is a Fell monster and most friendships were "don't kill me, don't kill you, we can spar but like eh, i wouldn't like, cry if you dust" ..... not like healthy ones. Alphys was really his only real friend)  


Blue: Um yeah... Edge helped me and picked the color out....  
Slim: We tried to do yours too but you were really tired.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yeah, the closest thing to a real friend was Alphys, and even they don’t hang out that much.)

Razz: I.... see.....  
Blue: Do you not like it?  
*Razz looking at the teal color on the polished claws (how did Edge know he liked teal anyways?)*  
Razz: N-no... I actually like teal ...  
Blue: That’s good to hear. We’ll have to do the hands we both missed later. *Holds out his own hand with silver colored manicured round nails.*  
Razz: ....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Do… you wanna hear about how you were the last few days?  
Razz: Yes. No. .... yes. I need to know what happened.  
Slim: *Looks pretty worried for his bro.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue is seriously debating how much he should tell him.*

Blue: The first day you really just slept the whole time. After you came inside from the gauntlet you passed out on the couch. Do you remember that much?  
Razz: Vaguely. What after?  
Blue: We moved you to my room after that for some privacy and quiet. Then you.... started hallucinating.  
Razz: *Already scared to hear it.* ...about what?  
Blue: Uhhhh... I think it was about the Lab. You kept calling me Eleven and Red Twelve....  
Razz: .... *Oh god feeling extremely mortified.* *Blue isn’t sure if he should continue the detailed path or start skimming over points, for Razz’s mental health.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Um..... yeah. You also called the Papyruses, um. Lamppost? And Axe was the moon.  
Razz: oh no.... did... I treat you like... Eleven and Twelve?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I.... *Might seriously regret this decision.*.... I can’t lie about that. Yeah, you did, at least, I think that’s how you would have treated your Eleven and Twelve. You were really protective.... and didn’t like us being far away from you....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I will never hear the end of this from Red...  
Slim: I’m sure he won't-  
Razz: *Gives Slim a look.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Okay yeah.... you’re right. I don’t think he will do it while Edge is around at least?  
Razz: Why?  
Blue: Edge was really determined to “spare your dignity” as a former Guard Captain. Just about any decision we made regarding your treatment, he had a say in it.  
Slim: Trust me.... if it weren’t for his input you likely would have been in something way worse than that.  
Razz: Like what exactly?  
Blue: Let’s just forget he ever said that!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... that sounds like something i need to know.  
Slim: *Lil panic to change the topic.* You liked to cuddle next to someone and I think Edge now has a soft spot for you. and you refused to keep your arm on as you learned that Muffet was probably sexually interested when she bit you. I didn't know she bit you before...

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz’s eyelights go out, having a vague flashback of the ramble.... something about a robot arm…*  
Slim: ... bro?  
*Razz buries his face in his hands, the one with the bite mark feeling oddly disgusting.*  
Razz: Ohhhhhhh god.... I can't believe I told you that..... Wait! What do you mean I cuddled?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: It was really sweet. you liked to be in someone's arms most the time.  
Razz: *OH TORIEL KILL HIM NOOOOOOOOW!!!*

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Slim has never seen his brother blush that much and that brightly. He shined out of his blanket bundles and the hands hiding his face.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*He’s practically radiating purple light. He’d make a good night light at this point.*

Slim: B-but you weren’t with someone ALL the time! At one point you conscripted Edge’s help in building a car.  
Razz: .... a car?  
Blue: Yeah.... a car that you could fly... to the moon...  
*Razz is about ready to pass out from all the excess magic flow his embarrassed blushing is causing, which now got stronger.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... wow. That’s um… bright?  
Razz: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh why did that childhood passing dream have to show up????  
Slim: Sans, i think you need to calm down, you were pretty sick, and you need to keep your magic in.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: CALM DOWN?! HOW CAN I CALM DOWN FROM THIS!!!!  
Slim: I-it’s okay Sans! Nobody is holding it against you.  
Razz: I’M HOLDING IT AGAINST ME!!!  
Slim: You wanted to know why you woke up with multiple skeletons! We are just explaining things!  
Blue: Razz seriously that amount of glowing can’t be healthy.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: You try waking to three skeletons in bed with you, Edge’s hand half in your ribcage, AND FUZZY MEMORIES OF THE NIGHT BEFORE. THEN HEAR OF ALL THIS CRAP.  
Blue: .... ok, I can see why you were upset.  
Razz: I thought... I thought I could have been in a situation like I had to deal with when I was a Captain.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: .... Huh?  
Slim: Bro no, I wouldn’t leave you in a situation like that.  
Razz: WELL I'VE ALREADY BEEN IN PLENTY, AND YOU WEREN’T HERE WHEN I WOKE UP THIS TIME EITHER!  
*Razz flinches at his own words, and Slim flinches too.*  
Razz: Sorry... t-that’s not what I meant.  
Slim: No bro, I should have stayed with you. I trust the others, but that doesn’t mean you do yet.  
Razz:....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(yeah Slim, ya kinda dropped the ball on what Razz would be okay with. woops)  


Blue: ....what?  
Slim: .... Fell universe Blue.  
Blue: *Looks uneasy.* Oh... okay.  
Razz: I can't believe this happened....

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Slim scoots a bit closer holding his arm up questioningly. Razz slowly nodded, Slim gently putting his arm around Razz’s shoulder trying to support him.*  
Slim: At least you aren’t the first former Guard to get sick. Red was telling me Edge got sick not long ago. He was hallucination shadow people and llamas.  
Razz: *Dry chuckle.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... we found out Stretch is a bratochist.  
Razz: ..... a .... what???  
(Blue is trying to be helpful)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: A masochist, and a brat. It has been confirmed that he actually is. Edge and Red haven’t let him live it down.  
Razz: ... pfft! W-why does that make so much sense? *Couldn’t hold it back.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: He didn't even know and I knew before him.  
Slim: We also just got Red back from somehow, not only getting arrested, but getting this Muffet’s numbers ALL while drunk off his ass.  
Blue: Edge was very protective over his tools and was not happy to here Stretch was all for some of them.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Edge sitting in the hallway, hearing the words “Red” and “arrested” in the same sentence.*  
Edge: WHAT?! THAT ASSHOLE GOT ARRESTED???!!! I’LL KILL HIM!  
*Razz, Slim and Blue can hear Edge storming to Stretch’s room, kicking the door open, and ripping his hungover brother a new one.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Alert* ...WHO'S LISTENING IN ON US?!?! 

Edge: SANS!!!! GET YOUR ASS UP!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: I’ll check. *Ports out of the bedroom, gives the others the meanest look he can manage and points his finger down the stairs. The others hold their hands up placatingly and tiptoe their way down the steps.*  
Slim: looks like it was just Edge, everyone else is watching movies.  
Blue: Edge has been... extra worried about you.

Edge: HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO GET ARRESTED?!? YOU WERE ONLY OUT FOR A COUPLE HOURS!!!!  
Red: GET OFFA MY BACK!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: IT WAS FER DA LADIES AND MY BOSS LADY!!!  
Edge: WHO THE HELL IS YOUR 'BOSS LADY'?????  
RED: SHE MY MUFFIE AND SHEZ DA BEST BISNIS WOMAN!!!  
Edge: ARE YOU STILL FUCKING DRUNK???

Razz: Why ... would he care about me like that? I am a stranger at best and someone he doesn't like at all at worst....  
Blue: I don't know...  
Slim: I think he was practicing some stuff Rus showed him, and Red is a bit too prickly to just let Edge do "proper Sans handling" as Rus calls it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: So he thought doing it on a monster that couldn’t consent was okay?!  
Blue: No! I-I mean.... don’t tell him I said this, but he really likes taking care of people. Plus you’re the only other alternate that was actually IN the Royal Guard.  
Slim: I think he feels a comradery with you.  
Blue: He even got really into helping build that car. You should see the prototype he made.

Edge: WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN LIPSTICK?!  
Red: MY BOSS LADY IS A QUEENS!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Ugh... what... Did he do?  
Blue: He kept Stretch from giving you some of my more cutesy clothes and helped with playing into your hallucinations. He did the car planning. He also carried and let you cuddle him a lot.  
Slim: I have never seen him so excited to help someone. He was absolutely thrilled to have someone hug him like you did. you think Red would let him do any of that? And, uh... he kept saying stuff about keeping your dignity as a Guard Captain like him.  
Razz: *Is very embarrassed.*  
Edge: THAT PINK CLOTH IN YOUR POCKET BETTER BE A HANDKERCHIEF!  
Red: MUFFIE GAVE IT TAH ME! SHE HAS DA BEEEEEST DRINKZ.... She dunz water it like.. like Grillby doooes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You see.... it was all okay until you said he likes cuddling me like a perv.  
Slim: Edge actually isn’t into sex, kind of like you. Go figure.  
Razz: I still feel like scum! *Starting to feel a bit light headed from using up magic with his excessive embarrassed blush.*  
Edge: OH. MY. GOD!!!!  
Red: She got THEM ARMS!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Forcibly stops his blush, it takes immense concentration.* .....I .... don't like knowing they could have done anything to me.  
Blue: Oh, you didn't let them do just anything. you smacked Red when he cursed, and about skewered Edge when you thought he was a traitor and spy for spiders.  
Razz: .... excuse me what???

Edge: I. DON'T. CARE.  
Red: SHE'S PRETTY AND A QUEEEEEEEEN.  
Edge: NO SHE ISN'T, THAT WOULD BE QUEEN TORIEL.  
Red: Tori? She does the best raunchy jokes. and-and she can drink me UNDER. I'd give 'er a discount if she had ever wanted a ticket on da bone train....  
Edge: SANS I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Oh.... uh, you weren’t totally helpless or anything. You actually attacked us a few times, when you weren’t happy with something we did.  
Razz: .... that’s slightly more reassuring.... not by much though.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: It was really interesting. I have no idea just who Eleven, Twelve and Six are, but you must have really loved them!  
Razz: *Pales as much as a skele can.* .... I brought......them up?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: M-more than just... calling you guys Eleven and Twelve?  
Blue: Y-yeah... you were really attached to us at the hip. You got emotional when you thought I, or Eleven, had... died.  
Razz: *Goes even more pale, feeling his hands get shaky at the very real memory, and whatever the hell he re-lived with them.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I... um .... didn't mind-  
Edge: *Loud even with the wall.* SANS THAT WAS NOT A HANDKERCHIEF! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ..... how far is the roof from the ground on your house?  
Slim: Sans no.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Pets Lord Hater* ... Lord Hater why are you here anyway? it is much safer at home. It’s only been a day or two.......  
Edge: YOU WILL RETURN THE UNDERGARMENTS TO MUFFETS ONCE SOBER

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Bro... you don’t have to keep all this stuff to yourself. I didn’t realize you were so close to your other test subjects.  
Razz: ....  
Blue: *Offers his own arm up slowly, waiting for Razz’s permission. He nods, Blue putting a measuring arm around his other shoulder.*  
Razz: .... they were all I had for a long time.... sorry to drag you into that.

Red: NO THEY ARE MINE! SHE WROTE HER PHONE NUMBER ON EM!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: YOU WILL WASH THEM AND RETURN THEM!!!  
Red: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Wait, I could put my number on them if I did that....

Razz: .... it’s ....um, hard not to get attached to them when they are all you had for a while. I don't really want to talk about it much.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Djfkgllddkd XD fricking Red)

Slim: Maybe we can make a gravestone for them? Like humans do? They never got their dust spread on anything they enjoyed right?  
Blue: That’s a great idea! They have concrete stone kits at the craft store. Little glass pieces and letter presses.  
Razz: ... that... that might be nice, actually....

Bookwyrm  
(Red be dat way.)  
(omg Razz making little headstones to put in his apartment, each having little differences from what Razz can remember they liked..... a rocket, a heart, a star......)  


Edge: DON'T YOU EVEN DARE.

Razz: *Hugs Lord Hater tighter.*  
Slim: *Has never really seen his brother so small and sad before like the world is pushing down on him.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(And Slim helps, Razz teaching him about his old brothers and getting a small bif of closure on their deaths. It’s too sweet I can’t.)

Slim: I-is there anything you want me to get you? Water or.... your clothes back?  
Razz: Y-yeah.... those would be nice..... *Wasn’t eager to see his brother step out. Blue caught on.*  
Blue: You stay here Slim. I’ll grab everything. *Steps out, seeing Slim hug Razz a little tighter.*

Red: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! I’M THE ELDEST!  
Edge: AND I'M THE SMART ONE!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT, BUT FUCK YOU.  
Edge: STOP WAVING THE GARMENT AROUND YOU HEATHEN!!!  
Razz: *Finally snuggles into his brother... really mentally exhausted.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: .... I’m tired....  
Slim: *Surprised to hear his brother say it so bluntly.*  
Slim: You can lay down bro, you look like you could use the rest.  
Razz: ... will you stay this time?  
Slim: Yeah, I won’t leave you alone this time. I promise.

Edge: YOU GET OFF OF THE CEILING FAN RIGHT NOW!!!!  
Red: MAKE ME!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: WHY CAN'T YOU BE WELL BEHAVED LIKE RAZZ IS???  
Red: IMMA CEILING SANS!

*Razz easily fits in his brother’s arms as he curls up next to him.*


	12. Tired Blue, Bastard Red, and Mortified Razz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying a new method to the chapters, day by day. unless stated, most chapters are going to be from the discord.
> 
> Craft stores and shenanigans! and Taco Bell!

HomeHawk12  
*Slim pulls the covers mainly over Razz, letting him get warm and comfortable. Lord Hater finds a spot too, curling up right under the crook of Razz’s knees. He sinks his forehead into his brother’s sternum and shuts his sockets, already drifting off.*

*CRASH!*  
Red: OWWWW! THAT HURT YA CRAZY ASHHOLE!!! YA RIPPED THE FAN DOWN?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: THAT NEEDED REPLACED ANYWAY! THEY MISSED THAT ON THE FIRST TRY TO CLEAN THIS ROOM!

*Stretch and the other downstairs skeles continue UNO and ask so many questions at Blue once he shows up.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay we shall continue in the morning. Goodnight!)

Stretch: You okay bro? He didn’t hurt you or anything, yeah?  
Comic: What the hell happened up there?  
Rus: Is he hungry? Does he want some spaghetti or anything?  
Axe: Is he doing better?  
Blue: *Sighs, feeling tired all over again.* They just need some alone time.... he’s still not taking it well, but he’s finally calmed down a bit. Also, Papy, we need to stop at the craft store.

Red: IMMA GO BACK AND LIVE WITH MY BOSS LADY!!!!! SHE ‘PRECIATES ME!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: GODDAMMIT SANS! NO YOU CAN'T LIVE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE JUST FOR A DIFFERENT MUFFET!  
Red: SHE'S MY BOSS BABE AND I WUV HER!  
Edge: YOU ARE TOO DRUNK TO MAKE DECISIONS SANS!

Traps: Oh I love making things, can I go too?  
Stretch: You sure you’re alright?

Blue: Yeah.... I just learned things I never want to think about that happens in Fell universes. We can all pick a few things up... I'll explain in a bit once I grab water and Razz’s clothes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Sound good.  
Traps: You should come too brother! I’ve never been to a craft store before!  
Axe: Eh, why not. As long as they sell refreshments I don’t mind.  
*Blue grabs everything Razz asked for, heading back upstairs and slowly peering into the room. He spots Slim sitting with Razz’s head in his lap, the elder sleeping soundly clutching his brother's arm.*  
Blue: *Whispers.* I’m going to take some of the others to a craft store for a few hours. Will you be okay by yourself?  
Slim: Yeah, I think so.... just take Edge with you. He’s too loud.  
Blue: I’ll try, but I make no promises.

Red: MY SWEET.... SPIDEAR GODDESS.... QUEEN.... zzzzzz….  
Edge: DID YOU JUST FALL ASLEEP ON ME?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: *Went to collect Edge, sees Red sleeping on the damaged fan* ..... you guys are either paying for or fixing that. Edge, just leave him to sleep it off, we are going to the craft store.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: *Biggest “cat butthole” face*…. fine, but this discussion isn’t over!  
Blue: I will ask that you two continue this at home. Monsters are trying to sleep, and not just your brother.  
Edge: Wait.... does that mean you calmed him down?  
Blue: Kind of, though Slim did most of it, now hurry up and let’s go.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: ...... *Got the skelies to the craft store, .... but there's.... a problem.*  
Woman: *Screams about unholy abominations.*  
Blue: Lady please, can we just-  
Woman: *Screams some more.*  
Edge: Human. We just want to purchase some craft-  
Woman: *Screams something about demons.*  
Traps: Wow, that is a nice set of lungs you have.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: *Decides to have some fun.* Hey lady. Down here.  
*Woman stops long enough to glance down, Axe illuminating his dead socket bright red.*  
Axe: I’m afraid I’m feelin’ famished today. Ya don’t wanna get between me and my snacks, do ya? Or perhaps… *Eyelight going out.* Ya wanna BE my next snack.  
Woman: *Screams loud enough to shatter glass, her face turning purple before she falls backwards, unconscious from lack of oxygen.*  
Rus: Axe, that was highly inappropriate!  
Axe: Shut her up, didn’t it?  
Blue: Ummmmm... oh good a manager is coming! We can finally get what we need!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Manager: ... what happened here?  
Edge: This woman was very rude and kept screaming until she passed out! The nerve.  
Blue: Do you know where the cement kits are? Please?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Manager: ...... row twelve near the back.  
Blue: Thank you! *Drags everyone to the back with him while employees take care of the passed out customer.*  
Edge: Still can’t believe the nerve of that woman!  
Blue: Let’s just buy what we need before they kick us out!  
Rus: How many should we buy? Like one big one, or multiple smaller ones?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Multiple small ones. Um... I don't know exactly how many and... we might mess one up.... let's get... oh. They only have a few small ones...  
Rus: You could get a large kit and a few small ones and use the instructions for the small one for all of it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Good idea kid.  
Traps: agreed! These are so cute and colorful! I’m sure Razz will love them.  
Blue: I really hope so.  
*Screaming of the woman resumes.*  
Edge: Let’s just grab them all and go!  
Blue: Yes please!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: That lady is so rude to screech like that!  
Traps: She really should be easier on her organs.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: Odd, usually my brother would have made a comment about tenderized organs or something.  
Edge: I don’t see him anywhere. Where did he go?  
Blue: Ohhhhhh no, don’t do this to me Axe.... your the other responsible one-  
Axe: Bro! You won’t believe what I found. *Stands there with his arms full of different colored chocolate pellets and Halloween chocolate molds of bones and skulls.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: SANS THAT'S ADORABLE WE MUST PURCHASE THESE!  
Rus: WE CAN ADD SPRINKLES FOR DECORATING, I SAW THESE ONE THINGS CALLED SUGAR SKULLS!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Woman continues to scream about the undead and demons coming to claim everyone’s brains.*  
Blue: You have two minutes.  
Rus: THAT’S ALL WE NEED!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Rus and Traps grabbed the special 'monster friendly' white and milk chocolate. And a few multi pack of sprinkles.*

*The graveyard boys make it to the checkout still hearing the lady screeching.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lady: CONCRETE! THEY ARE MAKING TOMBSTONES FOR THEIR VICTIMS!!!!  
Manager: I already said stop yelling at the customers.  
*More inhuman screaming.*  
*The skeletons get the heck out of there while all the other customers and passerby’s rubber neck with curiosity.*  
Blue: The car! Oh thank stars get in the car!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Humans are just too screechy! Why can't they all be like Chara!  
Comic: Let’s agree to disagree.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD God dammit Comic. He’s been so quiet this whole time I forgot he was there lskfjlf)

*Stretch played on his phone in the car, waiting for everyone else to get back.*  
Stretch: You okay bro? You look really tense?  
Blue: We are not talking about this right now.  
Stretch: Does it have to do with the crazy lady being dragged out?  
Blue: Papy I said not now!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: We should get Taco Bell on our way back.  
Blue: ........ OK I GUESS WE CAN.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XXXPP Stretch is NOT reading the room)

Traps: I didn’t know tacos had bells. What type of bells do they ring?  
Axe: Probably funeral bells, seeing as the tacos end up in my ‘stomach.’  
Comic: Pffffft.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue slumps over the wheel looking like Grumpy Cat while they pull into the drive through.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Do you know Fresh Sans and Nightmare Sans?)  
Blue: Who wants-  
Traps: WHAT'S A QUESADILLA?  
Rus: Do they have spaghetti?  
Stretch: Oh shit they got the fries back.  
Comic: Baja Blast for me.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I know Nightmare has the black goopy tentacles that look like a nightmare to draw, and Fresh looks like he’s straight out of a 90’s kids commercial. Not sure about their backstories or anything else.)

*Blue’s head falls into the steering wheel from exasperation, accidentally making the horn go off.*  
Cashier: Please sir, you haven’t ordered yet.  
Blue: Sorry! I didn’t mean to do that! Just.... guys please just pick something off the menu. I promise it mostly taste decent.  
Traps: I still don’t know what a quesadilla is.  
Comic: It’s like a cheese patty thing. Look at the pictures if you get confused.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I'm painting FreshMare. ... get it?)  


Blue: Two taco 12 packs, one chicken on beef. 4 quesadillas and 10 Bara Blast PLEASE.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDD now all I’m picturing is Sans from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Seriously though if your painting and you're not shy about sharing I’d love to see it!)

Cashier: That will be a whole lotta money. (Too lazy to do any math fjdkd) Pull up to the next window.  
Traps: What happens now?  
Stretch: We stop at the next window, then they give us our food. Shouldn’t take too long.  
Axe: Like, how long are we talking?  
Stretch: five minutes maybe? We put in a big order.  
Traps: FIVE MINUTES?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: It’s the surface, I know. It’s very convenient.

HomeHawk12  
(He’s like the Kool-aid guy went to a tie dye fest and I love it! Kool-aid Sans man lol)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He is half asshole half rad dude.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This Rad asshole needs a skateboard and his own commercial lmao)

*Axe and Traps are now drooling over the amazing smelling food.*  
Traps: I’ve never had Mexican before.  
Comic: Eh, really it’s American style Mexican, so not the real deal.  
Traps: CAN WE TRY REAL MEXICAN TOO?!?!  
Blue: ........ another day, when my bank account isn’t close to empty.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He shows up in my crack fic on AO3 Stress Reliever last chapter I believe. So far everyone loves and hates the slime bag.)  
Traps: Oh I can't wait!  
Axe: Sounds good Angel Cakes.  
Blue: I still don't know why you call me that.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I didn’t realize you had written any stories on AO3. I’ll have to check it out!)

Stretch: Hey buddy, maybe lay off the suggestiveness when addressing my bro.  
Axe: Awwww, it’s not like he told me to stop.  
Comic: Honestly, not sure how I’d feel about being hit on by another me.  
Blue: Wait you’re hitting on me???

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh sweet child.... it's mostly on fanon outcodes there's a lot and a lot of alt multiverse stuff)  


Blue: Wow. No one ever hits on me.  
Stretch: .... bro, lots of people do.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I love how your stories are just comment threads. Like I’ve never done a back and forth like this and it’s a lot of fun, so I can imagine some people have really creative/fun ways to spin stories.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(They are all stories written like this.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Not gonna lie that’s fantastic lol.)

Blue: Wait what?  
Comic: Yeah dude, like even the cashier seemed into you.  
Stretch: Muffet’s made a pass for you, and our Grillby. You’ve been hit on by the Rabbit Head more times than I can count.  
Blue: *Turning nuclear bright blue with embarrassment as the list keeps getting longer and longer.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Oh my stars I never noticed.  
Stretch: .... are you serious?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: And we seriously thought Stretch was the oblivious one. I’m sorry we mislabeled you Carrot Top.  
Stretch: Oh right! There was that one time Toriel-  
Blue: OKAY I GET IT YOU CAN STOP NOW!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: Then there was that time with Burger Pants. That one got REALLY awkward. You see BP forgot his belt-  
Blue: HEY LOOK, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE HOUSE!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: What happened with Burger Pants?  
Blue: *Races inside the house with the food.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(NICE!!! Looking good! Also love the paint drip at the top. It’s a nice touch!)

Stretch: We ordered some burgers, and BP was acting particularly nervous, I knew what was going on but Blue didn’t. Then he offered my bro food on the house when he tried to pay, and during the exchange this little white dog bites BP’s pants and-  
Blue: I SAID STOP TALKING AND GET IN THE HOUSE!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... why bro... are you....embaaaaaaaarassed?  
Axe: Looks like Blue is in high demand.  
Blue: GET INTO THE DANG HOUSE.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I never knew he could glow that brightly.  
Stretch: I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him blush this much.  
Edge: He still doesn’t even come close to your bright orange ass.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: It’s adorable.  
Stretch: That’s my brother.  
Axe: And? He has the food. So that's where I'm going

***  
HomeHawk12  
*The others file into the kitchen to eat. Blue goes upstairs to check on the skeletons that didn't come. Red is still clutching the pink panties and ceiling fan completely out of it.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: *Knock knock.* Slim? How's Razz?  
Slim: zzzzzz........

Edge: SANS GET OFF THE DAMN CEILING!  
RED: ZZZZZZZZ

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: WHA?! *Jolts awake at hearing Edge yelling. Razz shifts his head a bit, but doesn't make a motion to defend them from danger. He's a groggy boy.*

Red: OW MY HEAD!!! QUIET DOWN YA DUMBASS!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: YOU DON'T SLEEP WITH WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME!  
RED: CAN I DO IT AT HOME DEN?  
EDGE: DAMMIT SANS!!!

Razz: …. urge....? Blue?  
Slim: .... what's up Blue?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I CAN BE RELATED TO SUCH A DEGENERATE!  
Red: YET YA STILL HAVEN'T DISOWNED ME. MUST MEAN YA DO CARE.  
Edge: GAAAHHHHH!!!

Blue:.... we brought food if you are interested. Taco Bell.  
Slim: I'm good with staying here or heading down. You?  
Razz:.... we shall join in a bit. Let me get changed first.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .......*Sees the mess the other skeletons have made of the food bags* ..... I hope you all left Razz and I a quesadilla.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: *Mouth dripping with cheese.* Ummmmm....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: I got it here. Grabbed it before Traps and Axe got there. Here's your Baja Blast bro.  
Blue: Oh thank you. ...... Rus can you rescue Red from Edge?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: ON IT!!! *Rushes up the stairs.*

Edge: SANS I SWEAR ON ASGORES’ HORNS I WILL TAKE THAT DISGUSTING JACKET OF YOURS AND- HEY! YOU PUT HIM BACK DOWN! I'M NOT DONE!  
*Rus does a front flip over the banister with Red held snugly in his arms.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: .....holy shit. My bro is gonna freak out.  
Rus: Have a taco Red, here's a drink.  
Red: .... maybe put me down?  
Rus: Nope! I need to train you on receiving platonic affection!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: EW NUUUUU!!!! I WANT DOWN!  
Edge: SANS YOU GET BACK HERE OR I WILL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR ASS!!  
Red: … on second thought, up here isn't terrible.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red using Rus as a tree to hide from Edge)  
Razz:.... I think it's time to get up...  
Slim: *Was really liking the rare cuddle* ....do we have to?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: I mean.... I'm still tired. We can always come back up here after food.... I’m just really hungry.  
Slim: Heh, you haven't eaten much in the last few days. Been too busy being sick or sleeping.  
Razz: Feels like it.

Edge: GIVE ME THAT IDIOT!  
*Rus is holding Red high above his head, Edge is trying to grab him, but Rus is slightly taller.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOUR KNEECAPS!  
Comic: Buddy... wanna ‘taco’bout it?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!  
Razz: Can you keep it down please? The volume is not appreciated at the moment.  
*Razz and Slim are now coming down the staircase.*  
Rus: WOWIE! YOU LOOK SO MUCH BETTER RAZZ!  
Razz: *Winces a bit at the volume.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: HI! I DIDN'T REALLY GET A CHANCE TO MEET YOU PROPERLY BECAUSE YOU GOT SICK, I AM TRAPS!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Winces again from the volume.* Yes, well, everyone here calls me Razz. (Oh god another tall loud one, why are all these Papyruses so loud???)  
Axe: Easy you two. No need to shout, we can all hear you just fine.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Grabbed the drinks and tacos and a quesadilla.* I got the food, where would you like to sit?  
Blue: .... um, please don't eat in my room.... I would prefer no crumbs.......

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: That's fine, I’m the same way about mine. The back porch seems nice.  
Stretch: Or, now, here me out, we all watch a movie together.  
Edge: I swear if it’s a BDSM Porno-  
Stretch: It’s Dodgeball, okay! Stop it with that!  
Razz: Uhhhhh.... ok? (Has no clue what Edge is referring to.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: … Edge.... what are you talking about???  
Stretch: .... oh come on. You can't be serious.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Serious about what?  
Stretch; There is no way you don’t know.  
Razz: ..... maybe I’m still not thinking straight, or you’ve gone bonkers. I’m leaning towards the later.

***  
Bookwyrm  
.......  
Stretch: You can't possibly be innocent.  
Razz: Of course not. I've killed before.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: .......  
Razz: ........?  
Slim: Hey, it looks like I was right after all.  
Razz: Right about what?  
Stretch: ...... there is no way.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ......you are very confusing with whatever those letters mean.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: *Buries head in hands.* You’re a Fell monster for Toriel’s sake! I thought you all know what that means! And your, like, thirty! How can a thirty year old not know?!  
Slim: *Leans down a bit and whispers.* It’s a pleasure/sex thing. Remember the weirdos Underground that wanted to pay you to torture them?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Looks up, sockets wide, lights gone*...... you mean that wasn't..... just for experience and practice for withstanding interrogation?

***  
HomeHawk12  
slim: ... No, sorry to break the news to you.  
Razz: ....  
Slim: .....  
Razz: ..... I have some things to torch when we get home..... and now... I feel used...  
Slim: *Pats his brother’s shoulder trying to be comforting.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... ew.  
Stretch: You had to have known. There are obvious signs.  
Razz: ....oh God so much makes sense now.


	13. Razz Is Done With Feelings And ROLEPLAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unless otherwise stated, these next chapters are all from discord.  
> Razz knows too much now. Undynes and Alphyses are sooo much fun~. Razz says fuck to everything. New friends!

HomeHawk12  
Razz: How would you even know this stuff? You’re from the happy rainbow universe.  
Edge: .... nyeHEHEHEHEHEHEH! HE DOESN’T KNOW!!!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: The “bratochist” thing, remember?  
Razz: He’s a brat, yes I agree.  
Slim: .... and a masochist... you know, someone-  
Stretch: DONT!  
Slim: Who gets off on pain.  
Razz: .......

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Betrayed eyelights lands on Stretch*.... is that why you didn't protest the demonstration and gauntlet too much? Why wouldn't you say that was... was like that!?!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Yes, it was just as shocking for me too. He’s a sick asshole that’s for sure.  
Stretch: Stop it! *Starting to blush bright orange again.*  
Razz: YOU SOILED THE INTEGRITY OF THE GAUNTLET!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Guys give him a break he can't help it.  
Stretch: *Bright blushy boy that needs a break.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: HE USED ME FOR HIS SICK SEXUAL DESIRES!!!! He USED me! I FEEL SO... GROSS!  
Stretch: *Unholy embarrassed scream.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: You know what, forget I said anything about watching a movie. Clearly group activities was a bad idea.  
Blue: Papy, where are you going?  
Stretch: I don’t know yet. Maybe someone who WON'T constantly yells at me for something I can’t help! *Shortcuts out of the house.*  
Blue: Razz that was uncalled for!  
Razz: Uncalled for?! He took advantage of my skill set for his own sick satisfaction!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Does EVERYONE that I've tortured liked it?!? Thats not the point of torture! At all! First Muffet and now torture, what else will sex ruin?!?  
Red: Clothes for one thing.  
Razz: What?!?  
Blue: Razz, you and Edge need to apologize to my brother he can't help it.  
Slim: *Trying not to laugh at Razz’s sheer outrage.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Razz: I swear to god if you say anything that you put me in while I was out of it was sexual I will tie you to a steak and torch you to ash!

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: *Knocks on door.*  
Nerd Undyne: *Opens door.*  
Stretch: Hey Undyne, mind if I hide out here for a while?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: P-Papyrus? Um oh can-can you uh-  
Muscle Alphys: ‘Dyne! Come ooonnn! We were doing that scene again from the anime!  
Undyne: *Blush.*  
Stretch: ..... what?  
Muscle Alphys: IS THAT PAPYRUS?!? HE CAN BE AINS!  
Stretch: .... who?  
Undyne: .... from-from Overlord, a-a-a anime I found up here in the Surface.  
Undyne: It’s about a gamer that gets stuck in his game and is not a skeleton leader/semi God/villain and there's sooo many cool things and he has a few interests to deal with-

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch.: He’s a skeleton?  
Undyne: L-lich technically .  
Stretch: Eh, I’ll watch it. Sounds interesting.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: O-oh! We weren’t watching it at the moment. We can though! It was more so... role playing... *Blushes harder.*  
Stretch: You know what, I’ve spent that last couple days being thrown around and kink shamed relentlessly. If anything, I would love to learn more about your interest.  
Undyne: You would!?  
Stretch: Yep, let’s-*Gets mercilessly dragged into the house.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
*Undyne has acquired a skeleton for role play. You will need a crowbar to release him.*  
Stretch: ... so I have to be uncaring towards human life and be kinda evil?  
Alphys: HECK YES!  
Stretch: .... so I have to be... Edge?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god this is gonna be something fgjljhf)

Roleplay Date:  
Alphy: That’s your pointy toothed cousin that’s kind of a loud asshole, right?  
Stretch: ..... yes.  
Alphys: Kind of. You gotta be more cool headed, here watch a YouTube clip. *Shares about ten different short clips with him of Ainz being a boss.*  
Stretch: Okay, I think I can do that. Clears “throat,” putting on his best Edge face but backing it down a bit to a calculating evil.  
Stretch: “You ask how I feel about humans? I could only care for them as much as the crushed insect on my boot.” .... how was that?  
*Undyne and Alphys collectively weeb out, squealing like little girls.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Blue: Papy isn’t answering his phone! What if something happens?!  
Comic: Blue, it’s only been half an hour.  
Blue: Why do you refuse to apologize!?  
Razz: I’m the victim here!  
Blue: He can’t help it!  
Razz: And if he was a pedo would you make the same argument?!  
Blue: THAT IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT!  
Razz: NOT TO ME!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oof. Razzy and Blue’s first fight)

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: I WANNA BE COCYTUS. UNDYNE YOU CAN BE ALBEDO, YOUR CUTE ENOUGH!  
Undyne: A-Alphie!?!  
Stretch: Um. K?

Swap House:  
Blue: He is just having a hard time expressing himself.  
Red: I did try and teach him but he didn't want to listen much.  
Razz: I WON'T stand for my tools being used in that manner! He should have let us know of his unsavory desires before allowing the session to begin!  
Edge: Honestly, it's not that hard.  
Blue: In our universe, torture isn't common at all! That's a perfectly sound assumption to make here.  
Razz and Edge : *Look shocked that torture is desecrated like that.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I’m with Stretch and have no clue who the non skele characters are XD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(C is a big huge warrior with giant swords and axes, Abelbo is pretty much deadly eye candy.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh the crazy one with big titties that is basically obsessed with Ainz! Oh god that’s gonna get interesting fjdkdl)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(So he basically big warrior axe guy.)

Undyne: OMG Alphie I-I couldn't!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhh big shiny armour dude, got it!)

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: I KNOW you can! You’ve seen every single episode eight times over! AND YOUR ADORABLE!!! *Gives her lovey-dovey eyes.*  
Undyne: O-okay.... I-I can try.... *Goes into her room to make sure her “assets” are in order.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch doesn't know what's coming)

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: ... who's Albedo?  
Alphys: Only the hottest advisor ever.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I’m already giggling this is gonna get wild)

Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: *Burst out of the room with a horned headband and her bra stuffed to the brim with presumably plushies.* I-I’m here for you my Master~ What is your command? *Puts a finger to her lip.*  
Stretch: *Jaw practically falls off in shock.*

Swap House:  
Razz: I’m sorry, how long have you guys known about Edge’s universe?  
Blue: Uhhhhh, a few years.  
Razz: And you haven’t bothered learning what we consider offensive?!  
Blue: You guys always visit me! Not the other way around!  
Razz: Torture is an art! Not some activity made for sexual pleasure!!!  
Red: Depends on who you’re asking.  
Razz: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Edge: You would be attacked, Blue, with your waves of love and affection. Brother don't pester Razz.

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Uuuuuuum. Oh. Gosh. *Stretch is a major sub, this is not his side of expertise.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: *Trying desperately to channel his inner Edge..... or at least pretend he has an inner Edge.*  
Stretch: D-do you have news from the front lines? *Hoping there is a war plot in this thing.*  
Undyne: Yes my Lord. Our troops are poised and prepared for your next order. Cocytus is here as well just to speak about that. *Gets uncomfortably close to Stretch.* My dear husband.  
Stretch: *Internal scream.*

Swap House:  
Blue: Well, I am still expecting you to apologize to my brother!  
Razz: I am not apologizing for f*cks sake! *Broke the no swear rule out of anger towards Blue.*  
Blue: *Steps back like he’s just been hit.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: .... um. Good. Report. *Oh STARS ABOVE *

Blue: RAZZ! Don't swear!  
Razz: *Pride won't let him back down, neither will the learned behavior to show no weakness or softness.* I won't apologize to him. I refuse.

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Red gets a sudden text message in a private chat from Stretch.*

Private Chat:  
-BigRed: Oh hey you're alive.  
-Carrot: I need you to tell me how to Dom..... please.

Swap House:  
Blue: *Can feel the tears stinging, but won’t let them fall.* But he didn’t mean it! Why cant you understand that?!?!  
Razz: Because I will not have a craft I’ve spent so many years mastering be treated like some sex joke!  
Blue: I already told you! He didn’t mean it like that!  
Razz: I know how your brother feels about me! I think he meant EXACTLY that!  
Blue: You know what?! i-IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE THIS MEAN TO MY FAMILY THEN YOU AREN’T WELCOME HERE!  
Razz: FINE! I don’t need to put up with this amount of disrespect! *Grabs his boots and storms out the front door.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh no the berries!)

Red: .... what the fuck.

Private Chat:  
-BigRed: dude, what the hell are you going on about.  
Carrot: Please don't make me explain.  
BigRed: Look I ain't a one dom fits all kinda guy.

Razz: *Is speed walking to the machine, feeling violated in many different ways.*

(Be a bit slow to respond cooking dinner)

HomeHawk12  
(Lol it’s all good. Making me hungry for home cooked meals not gonna lie)

*Razz gets to the machine, realizing he doesn’t have the code for his home universe memorized. (That’s Slim’s thing since he’s here often, and it isn’t already preset for him to use). His options are to pick a random world, or stay in Underswap and keep walking.*

Private Chat:  
-BigRed: There are many different types of Doms for many different occasions. I can’t help if you don’t give me more details.  
-Carrot: .... the Alphys and Undyne of your world are weebs too, right? It involves them.

Red: Oh god it’s anime....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(...... considering how lucky Stretch was with the Horror bros? ..... but... he really doesn't want to deal with sugar sweet monsters.... *beep*)

Private Chat:

BigRed: Ok ok so just... be cold and use big words. Like, "Adequate work, maybe you deserve a reward..... I'll think about it." Or something. You gotta be careful, anime looks all the same EXCEPT to anime nerds.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Does that means Razz adventure?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Adventure time! Maybe story shift ... altertale or overtale.)  
( maybe birdtale?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Hold on I gotta look these up lol)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Ngl, really liking birdtale)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bird one looks cute! I’m also familiar with Aftertale (angel/demon one) we can go either way. Basically Razz will be falling a lot)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Wait a min, I thought Aftertale was the one with Geno, Genocide Sans. And AlterTale is with the Sans in Toriels place and a King Paps, with a lil kid Gaster as Asreal.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(“After”tale. Not the same as the Alter one though they sound similar.)

(https://www.google.com/amp/s/aminoapps.com/v/s/aminoapps.com/c/undertale-aus/amp/item/reborntale/4Z3E_VwtvImQ453xpLz2nmPWV3vDXWx03%3famp_js_v=0.1&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%253D#ampf=(edited)  
Oh wait, I read your comment wrong  
I think Geno Sans is reborn as a demon and Pap is reborn as an angel)

(Well snap my link doesn’t work…)

(ITS REBORNTALE I’m AN IDIOT!!!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Ah! Here's Aftertale.  
Dammit that didn't work.  
https://loverofpiggies.tumblr.com/UTfancomics)

THERE WE ARE

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Gotcha! Ya know, let’s go with Birdtale since it looks like an easier concept to get without reading the comic series (my phone is being weird about Tumblr right now))

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Ye Razz gonna get birdy buds- ..... Razz can't get back. He didn't repair the machine)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh snap. He’s gonna really want Frisk’s jetpack pretty soon. Hey no working machine means a random drop point!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
.................  
*Razz is rethinking his actions as he is falling at high speeds from a very high point in the air.*  
*......he could use bursts of blue magic to slow his descent? Maybe?*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Razz: *Looks down seeing it’s a whole lot of forest that he could catch on fire with a blaster. He tried blue magic on his own soul, but having not eaten in a while it’s pretty weak.*  
Razz: .... should of grabbed that damn quesadilla while I had the chance....  
…  
Razz: ... eh, I lived a life. Wasn’t necessarily a good one, but I had my moments.  
????: Hey pal! Your taking the song “free falling” too seriously!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Burb Sans: *Is lazily free falling next to Razz.*  
Razz: .... does your universe seem to drop people out of the sky often?

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Um, okay guys I really have no idea how to-  
Undyne: Ainz-sama? What's wrong? *Presses next to him with a huge pout.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
BirdSans: You’re the first new guy I’ve ever seen. *Takes a closer look.* Heh, never met another skeleton besides my bro either, or one as good looking.  
Razz: Oh ha ha. Go screw yourself.

Swap House:

Red: .....*Seriously debating if he should go to this world Undyne’s house and help the idiot out.*

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Uhhhhhhh I-I’ll think about it???? *Voice cracks.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: Wow, your doing great Stretch, even got the internal conflict down  
Stretch: What the fuck am I to do!?!

Bird World:  
Razz: .... you wouldn't happen to have a quesadilla would you?  
Burb Sans: ... nope.  
Razz: Damn. Whatever.  
(Razz hasn't quite noticed the wings)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Bird Sans: You planning to pull up at any point? We’re getting pretty close to the ground.  
Razz: Can’t. Wish I could, but that’s not happening.  
*Bird Sans lazily circles him. Razz just shuts his sockets and growls at his free falling skills, still not catching on.*  
Bird Sans: Ya know, it’s not very smart skydiving without wings, or a parachute.  
Razz: .... noted. I’ll remember that when I enter hell.

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: My King! There are bandits approaching a village to the south. They require aid. What are your orders?  
Stretch: Uhhhhhh..... go and... slay them?  
Undyne: Oh Ainz-sama! So noble~

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Bird Sans: .... uuh... well.  
Razz: What? You disapprove of how your universe wants to fuck me over? Take it up with someone else. *Still a loooooong way from the ground.*  
Bird Sans: Hey, I'm not judging your hobbies.

Stretch: ....... um k?  
Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: Nice, the first village raid episode.  
Stretch: There’s a first village raid episode???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Bird Sans: Seriously though, free falling like this isn’t good for your health. Perhaps you should talk to someone.  
Razz: I’ll let you know when I find someone that cares.  
Bird Sans: Ouch, sorry I said anything.

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: Now! Cast a spell to kill all the bandits!!!!!  
*Stretch is looking at this miniature village she has set up with several DND figures as the bandits.*  
Stretch: Uhhhh..... abracadabra. *Summons a small bone that knocks figures down.*  
Undyne: My husband is the greatest magic caster in the land!!! *Hugs him, rubbing her fake boobs into his face.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Razz: Umm... sorry, I shouldn't take my stress out on you. You don't even know me.  
Burb Sand: Yeah. You um. Need a wing? I got two if you need a lift.  
Razz: ..... if you're offering.  
(Razz is killing me rn.)

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: *HOLY WHAT THE FUCK OH NOPE!* Undyne nope! *BRIGHT ORANGE.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: .... Ainz-sama?  
Stretch: *UnderswapPapyrus.exe has stopped working.*

Bird World:  
*Bird Sans swings behind Razz and grabs him around the torso, his wings spread out wide, gently bringing them out of the fall and into a fast horizontal glide.*  
Razz: Huh, you actually have wings.  
Burb: What did you think I meant?  
Razz: I just assumed you were lying, or gonna shortcut us out of here.  
Burb: Nope, ya get the business class treatment.  
Razz: ... lucky me.

Swap House:  
*Meanwhile, everyone else is standing tensely in the kitchen. Blue has his eye lights out and face downcast.*  
Comic:.... Blue, you doing okay buddy?  
Blue: .... please excuse me. *Rushes up to his room to try and get himself under control.*  
Edge: Well, that escalated quickly.  
Red: Ya weren’t helping!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Edge: In what universe am I qualified to help with that?  
Red: ....... Boss, you are in ours.  
Edge: I don't think smacking them both upside the head would have worked well.

Bird World:  
Razz: *Looks at the black wings, tail feathers, and talons.* .... huh. Odd universe you have here.  
Burb: .....thanks?

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: *Is sitting on the couch.* Guys what the heck are you watching???  
Alphys: *Setting up the movie night.* You’ll see.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Edges solution = yelling at/hitting the problem till it’s no longer a problem XP)

Swap House  
Rus: Perhaps trying to understand Stretch and Blue’s point of view on a topic they never discussed with you before instead of automatically getting defensive and yelling?  
*Everyone looks to Rus, as he’s the only one offering sane advice.*  
Rus: I can help you make apology spaghetti if you’d like?

Bird World:  
Bird Sans: *Looks at the lack of everything on Razz’s body.* I kinda feel sorry for you. Must suck to be stuck on the ground all the time.  
Razz: When you’re trapped Underground for most of your life it doesn’t make much difference.  
Bird Sans: Let me tell ya buddy, I was in the same place as you. But man, getting to the surface for the first time, spreading my wings to the fullest and feeling the sun on them. That’s an experience.  
Razz: We can relate to more than one thing then.

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: So next time we role play, we want to do Goblin Slayer, and you are participating!  
Undyne: Y-you were amazing today! I never had so much fun doing this before now.  
Alphys: So we are introducing you to the Anime!  
Stretch: .... okay. *Doesn’t think it could be more difficult then whatever happened today.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Edge: .... hmm. Maybe if you share your recipe. The Sans lessons were very... intriguing.  
Red: .... the fucking what?

Bird World:  
Burb Sans: *Still carrying Razz.* You look like you need a drink or something pal.  
Razz: ..... *Dammit he is taller.* Know what? I'd be down for that.

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: ......... *Should he be offended by this? What.... the heck?*  
Stretch: .... um this is..... quite the show.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Still tired, on an empty stomach and not fully recovered from his fever, should definitely not be drinking but is too fed up to care*

Bird World:  
Razz: I’ve never seen a treehouse bar before.  
Bird Sans: Trust me pal, this place is the greatest for taking your mind off anything that ails ya.  
*Bird Sans opens the door, revealing the bartender to be a fire elemental with wings.*  
Razz: Thank Christ it’s not a spider....  
Burb: What was that?  
Razz: Nothing.

Swap House:  
Red: Ya really are a sick bastard, ya know that bro?  
Edge: Says the sloppy seconds back alley slut.  
Red: Oh shit, I forgot about Stretch.

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Well, at least the later episodes were more upbeat then the first.  
Undyne: Ancient Magnus’ Bride is next!  
Stretch: The girl on the cover looks young. How old is she.  
Undyne: 15!  
Stretch: ....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Private Chat: Big Red: Buddy you ok?  
Carrot: I learned I can't dom. And I never want to find a Sans or Papyrus from an anime universe. (Ainsworth .....omg could be like a gaster blaster Papyrus)

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: .... isn’t that a little .... um. Not cool to do? Date minors?  
Undyne: The story’s n-not like that! It's the characters!  
Alphys: Ainsworth is super cool!

Bird World:  
Razz: Hey, you got a nickname, feathers? Cus I am gonna blow your mind.  
Burb: Eh...what?  
Razz: *Is a lightweight.*My name is Sans and I'm from another universe.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(YESSSSS give him the head!!!)  


***  
Bookwyrm  
(But Papyrus’s blaster is so much better for play)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(That is Paps blaster fjfkgdk Sans just likes to wear it cuz it got googly eyes lol)

(Oh god, a lightweight on top of an empty stomach (a big drinking no no) he’s gonna die djfkgl)

Bird World  
Bird Sans: Huh, is that so?  
Razz: *Hic.* YeP.  
Bird Sans: And what if I say I don’t believe you?  
Razz: Ask me anythin’! Wait! Ask me ta use an attack!  
Bird Sans: Alright, what’s my brother’s name?  
Razz: Papyrus!  
Bird Sans: Easy question, but what about dad?  
Razz: W-wingle Dings Gaster! Wait… I mispronounced that…  
Burb Sans: Okay, genuinely surprised you got that one.  
Razz: Wait! W-watch *Hic.* THIS!! *Summons a full sized blaster in the middle of the bar, sending patrons running. Bird Sans falls out of his bar stool.*  
Bird Sans: Okay I believe you're me! Just put that thing away!  
(Full Zarla comic lol)  


***  
Bookwyrm  
(God i love Zarla)

Razz: Pffft. Mwehehehehe! Did I ruffle your feathers? .... dammit I punned.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Bird Sans: Pffft!!!! Heheheh. Nice.  
*Grilby sets the next round of drinks on the counter.*  
Bird Sans: Nicknames then.... I guess you could call me Bird. Not too original but easy to remember.  
Razz: O-okay B-*hic.* Burb! I’m Razz!

Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: It’s a teacher/student relationship! I swear it's not weird!  
Alphys: Plus you have blasters! They look just like Elias!  
Stretch: Right....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: .... can we see a blaster?!? We can do a scene from Magnus Bride!  
Stretch:..........  
(Would Stretch or Blue have the spaz eyes)

Swap House:  
Red: Hey! Vanilla shake! What the heck are you teaching Boss?

Bird World:  
Razz: 'm from a universe where there's no wings, my personality iz probably more like your brother, aaaaaaand everyone wanted to kill each other.  
Bird: Dang. That’s…. not what I expected to hear today.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Definitly Stretch. Manifesting eyeballs is a Papyrus thing regardless of universe, so naturally his are just goofy unless he’s pissed)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pffft hahaha, Blue’s have stars when happy, but look regular otherwise)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ajdjgk Imagine throwing Edge offended/getting him into a tantrum state that only the Lazies can that his blaster just pops up with angry googly eyes and he’s mortified)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(That’s why Edge doesn't use blasters)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD only when he’s alone and KNOWS the enemy will die, or gets them in the back fjfkfl)

Bird World:  
Bird World:  
Burb Sans: So what brings ya here to my universe?  
Razz: *Shrugs.* Got into a disagreement with another version of me. They don’t see my craft in a respectable light, and I got mad and left.  
Burb: Huh. *Sips drink.*

Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: SUMMON IT SUMMON IT SUMMON IT!  
Stretch: *Stands up and rolls up his sleeves.* Alright, but remember you asked for it. *Summons blaster in the center of the room.*  
Undyne: ....  
Stretch: .....  
Alphys: ..... what the hell is that?????

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: .... my blaster.  
Alphys: ...Sans’s doesn't look like that.  
Stretch: I don't look like Sans.  
Undyne: ..... are-are the eyes supposed.... to ah....  
Stretch: Yes.  
Undyne: ......oh.

Bird World:  
Razz: They expect a monster from a universe named FELL, meaning a kill or be killed world and expect me to be able to navigate their weird ass customs! Do ya-ya KNOW how hard it iz to NOT stab them? They are just soooo touchy.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: I-it’s okay! We have a... somewhat accurate skull for Elias! P-Put it on so we can try role playing.  
Stretch: You want me to wear it?  
Alphys: Well, might as well try it.  
*Stretch puts it on, Undyne unable to hold back a laugh.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Burb: Well, I can’t relate with the ‘kill or be killed thing.’ I think it’s just easy to forget. Have you talked to them about this stuff before hand?  
Razz: Well, no, but he should have known!  
Burb: How’s he gonna know if you never told him?  
Razz: It should be an assumption!  
Burb: And how long is your pride gonna stop ya from seeing reason?  
Razz: STOP READING ME LIKE A BOOK!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: What? *Silly pose.* Am I not proper enough?  
Alphys: No no! Ainsworth is mysterious and old world like!  
Undyne: *Little giggles.*

Bird World:  
Razz: *Points at Bird Ssns.* You’re like a raven! With yer wingies and all the psychic stuff! Stop being wise and shit, like a damn owl.  
Bird Sans: .... let's not name me after the bird species I resemble.  
Razz: They gave me the name Razz cus the nice me is called Blueberry. I just, once, want to find a Sans shorter than me! Juz once!

Swap House:  
Rus: Red, I am teaching him how to nicely handle Sans care. Like how to pick them up.  
Red: Don’t be teaching Boss weird shit like that! We gotta be at least a LITTLE intimidating back home!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
*Takes the black cape Alphys gave him for the Ainz role play, and a cane from Alphys’ box of improvised weapons.*  
Stretch: What are you talking about? I’m super mysterious! *Pulls cape up across arms to cover blaster, peering up over it just so the googly eye was visible.*  
Undyne: Pfffffft! *Giggling turns to barely contained laughter.*  
Stretch: I’m old worldly too! “Hey! You kids get off my lawn!” *Waves the cane, blaster bobbing making the googly eyes roll around.* Somebody get my prune juice! It’s almost time for bingo at the old folks home!  
Undyne: BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! *She’s doubled over laughing. Alphys is not amused.*

Bird World:  
Razz: Why am I SO SHORT!!! I just wanna be taller..... *Head drops hard onto the counter.*  
Burb Sans: There there. I’m sure you’ll find a shorter one eventually. *Struggling not to make a joke about being nicknamed Raspberry.*

Swap House:  
Rus: When you're here though, there is no need for intimidation! So this stuff is perfectly acceptable.  
Edge: See? Rus understands.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Red: You can't get too used to it here or it could turn bad at home. Boss, you know this! It’s okay to be soft here for the most part but you can't let it get too far...  
Edge: We don't have to be on the surface Sans.

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: Papyrus! Ainsworth is supposed to be old yet young, knowledgeable yet innocent!  
Stretch: Whaaaaaaaat? Speak up! I can't hear you young folk.

Bird World:  
Razz: Knowing my luck it would be a kids universe! (LittleTale) or like, teeeeeeny tiny lil bones! (BittyBones).  
Bird: Buddy, I think Grillby needs to cut you off....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Razz: *Angry at having his drink cut off, taking Burb’s mostly full flask and chugging the whole thing before collapsing face first on the counter again.*  
Burb: You okay pal?  
Razz: …. zzzzzzzz...  
Burb Sans: Oh boy.... probably shouldn’t leave a no winged version of me in a treehouse drunk.... Paps is gonna love this.

Roleplay Date:  
*Undyne is on the floor laughing.*  
Undyne: O-oh god my sides!!!  
Alphys: You are ruining his character!  
Stretch: Step aside other Elias! Your better self has arrived! *Strikes a pose tapping his can to the ground.*

Swap House:  
Red: You really wanna hurt your reputation as a police officer? We already deal with enough racist shits! And ya think acting soft in front of them will make that better?!  
Edge:..... why do you have to ruin everything? Every time I find something I like to explore you ruin it....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Red: I spent too long keeping you alive to stop now! I will do anything and be anything to make sure of that. I won't ever allow you to be dusted in an alley or some shit.  
Rus: ..... you two express your feelings in very odd ways.  
Slim: *Is not liking this turn in conversation.*

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: MY PUDDING?!?  
Undyne: *Gasping like a fish.*  
Alphys: *Tries to tackle Stretch.*

Bird World:  
*Bird carefully picks up the smol berry and flaps home. A Papyrus with fluffy wings greets him.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dang that Red comment was powerful. Imma have to think on that one. Goodnight!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw. if you like birdtale..........
> 
> :3


	14. Birdtale Adopts Razz And The Fells Yell It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures in Birdtale! Fell Feelings! Mission Impossible! Swap Anime Night! Blue Tries Torture!

HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Edge: ... hypocrite.  
Red: What was that?!  
Edge: *Cackles dryly, no real humor behind it.* This coming from the monster that JUST went to a bar, got black out drunk, involved in a bar fight while they were impaired, AND arrested! All in a world they don’t belong to! HOW CAN I TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU RUN OUT AND PULL SHIT LIKE THAT?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS AS SOON AS I HEARD WHAT HAPPED?!?! AND YOU WERE GOING TO HIDE IT FROM ME!!!!!  
Slim: *REALLY doesn’t like where this is going.*

Roleplay Date:  
Alphys: GAHHHH!!!! *Makes contact with Stretch, knocking him to the floor and making the blaster skull bounce and crash into her forehead.*  
Stretch: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS MISSY!!!!  
Alphys: STOP THAT! You’re ruining it!!!!

Bird World  
B. Pap: Sans? Oh! You brought a guest! Are they okay? They seem a little limp.  
Burb Sans: they’re having a rough day. Think you can get the couch ready?  
B. Pap: OF COURSE!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Everyone is having a rough day)

Swap House:  
Red: Did I ever say I wasn't a hypocrite? Everytime I try to 'be good,’ it always backfires. You think I don't know what I look like when I do shit? That drunken outing? I have 5 contacts now that I could call, and at least get the time of day and, probably, sweet talk into a bit of safety if I needed to. The Muffet here is a great opportunity, lovely woman she is. I now know the type of locks that jail uses. Probably the same one most in the area use. I can see how much you fucking like it here so I'm trying to scrap together at lease a few things in case of a shit show! Fuck Boss, you think I’d die for you, but not make sure you'd live after? Getting numbers and sympathetic people are much easier than Underground. If something bent on killing us all pops outta the machine or something else, I won't let that be the end of it.

(Red has anxieties, most not well expressed anxieties. He is not very good at not finding danger like most Fells, Red is used to the need of at least a safe hole for a bit.)

Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: *GASP!* Alphy’s, it's the beast Ainsworth!  
Alphys: *Stills* ...... YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

Bird World:  
(I kinda wanna call B. Pap, like, Dove or something)< /p>

B Paps: Sans. OH MY GOD. HE’S SO TINY SANS! I COULD COMPLETELY COVER HIM IN ONE WING. ...... Sans where are his wings?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Edge: Do you HAVE to be so careless about it?!?! How do you think your death would affect me?! What if you had DUSTED during that bar fight! Your damn “contacts” would have never known who I was! They would have meant nothing! If those thugs decided to finish the job while you were in that holding cell?! Your knowledge on “jail locks” would have amounted to nothing either!!! The police would have called me to collect your damn things, and ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN A PAIR OF WOMANS UNDERWEAR!!!! You’ve always done shit like this since I was a kid. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TYPE OF ANXIETY DOES TO A CHILD?!?! You’ve done this SO often you’ve come up with excuses that almost sound believable, but I stopped believing them in my TEENS! YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME ANYMORE, EVEN IF THATS THROUGH DYING!!!!

(Edge has developed so much paranoia about his brother’s behavior, and his explanations all come back to himself. He didn’t know who else could be at fault.)

Roleplay Date

Stretch: See? Everyone will fall for the TRUE Elias eventually!  
Alphys: Shut up! *Hits his arm playfully.* You’re an idiot, you know that?  
Stretch: Never said that I wasn’t.

Bird World:  
(Fjdkdlld Dove is such a cute nickname name for him!)

Bird Sans: He didn’t come with wings. Said nobody had them where he’s from.  
B. Pap: THAT’S SO SAD!!!! To never be able to soar above the clouds... I KNOW! *Starts dialing a number on his phone.*  
Bird Sans: Who are you calling?  
B Pap: ALPHYS OF COURSE! If anyone can help his problem with being grounded, it would be her!  
Bird Sans: Heh, I don’t know if that’s what he needs.  
B. Pap: Nonsense! Flight makes everything better- OH! Hi Alphys! I have a new friend that needs your help!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Fells are a mess but they still love each other.... just um. WOW are they bad at this)

Swap House  
Red: Papyrus, you’re the only damn reason I kept living, for years. Dammit, I would fucking do anything and have done anything so you could get your position. I probably would have fallen down by fucking now if you hadn't of needed me to make sure you had food and a roof to at least call your own. Don't you ever tell me I don't care about your bony ass! My income before being the judge was not appropriate for a kid, even I knew that! Remember how corrupt The Guard was before you joined up? There’s a damn reason I was in and out and it wasn't for crimes against the crown! You remember the shit I had to let you see to learn to survive? You don't know the half of it, and hopefully you never do. Papyrus, I could have shortcuted out at any moment! I could have blasted my way out. I had back up plans.  
(Red had to do shady shit to provide, and probably a lot of stuff he didn't let lil Paps see)

Roleplay Date:  
Undyne: Alphie! Hehe, you look great!  
Stretch: Nyeh, yeah. *Click.*  
Alphys: Did you just take a picture?

Bird World:  
(Dove is gonna help this little fledgling fly if it kills him.)

Bird Sans: .... um, I don't know if he wants to fly Paps-  
Dove: NONSENSE! FLYING IS THE BEST! AND I CAN TEACH HIM HOW! OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude they are so screwed up the poor babies. They gotta stop being so stubborn and subscribe to some hug therapy.)

Swap House  
Edge: .... how oblivious do you think I was?  
Red: .......  
Edge: When you came home some nights half dead from whatever illness you picked up in your work, or near dusting from another stupid fight, who do you think earned the money to treat your bony ass! I was a runner for that damn fire elemental you love so much!!! Probably didn’t even notice, given how drunk off your ass you were most of the time!!!!!  
*They forgot about the audience, and Rus is about three seconds away from saying something.*

Blue: *Under his covers, crying out his emotions, gets a notification from Facebook. Looking at the notice he sees a selfie of Undyne, Alphys and Stretch’s googly eyed blaster.*  
-Undyne: just having a fun filled day with my fellow garbage buddies :3  
Blues: h-he’s okay.....

Bird World:  
B. Alphys: *Knocks on the door with an entire bag of building supplies.* I’m h-here Papyrus! W-who did you say needed help?  
Dove: RIGHT THIS WAY!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Everything has gone to shit. Omg)

Swap House:  
Red: ..... Who do you think kept you from being treated like the other runners? I did shit on the side for Grillby to not send you to New Home for runs! I know I wasn't the best person to care for you! Hell, some days I thought you'd be better off without me! Then I'd hear of something that happened, something I couldn't keep from happening to you and I'd try to be there to watch over your healing, give you a little safety at best. The Underground had too much shit in it for one small ass monster to keep you safe from. Dammit Papyrus, I did as best as I could and can!  
Rus: Okay! Let's um. Cool off! Ten minute break, or more!  
Slim: *Is worried in many ways.*

Blue: *Types out a message.* “Hey Undyne, is my brother okay with you? Some stuff happened with the other universes and I wanted to be sure.”  
(Stretch needs to be better on sending a text tbh)

Bird World:  
Razz: *wearily looks at Bird Alphys.* What... r' you doing with all that?  
B. Alph: Oh my goodness, a wingless monster???

***  
HomeHawk12

Swap House:  
Edge: Nyeh, you think running was-  
Traps: STOP IT!!!! Can’t you see your tearing your relationship apart!!!! YOU BOTH MOVED MOUNTAINS FOR EACH OTHER ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO KEEP THE OTHER SAFE! I just wish I could have been half as strong as either of you when the famine set in....

Undyne: *Text back.* “Yeah, Pap is doing just fine. Why?”

Bird World:  
Dove: Hush now, you should get some rest. Everything will be fine when you wake up. *Covers him up partially with a warm wing.*  
Razz: *Still tired and extremely intoxicated* ..... okay.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Axe: .... *Doesn’t really remember every detail before the Injury, bits and pieces.* Paps, you're fine how you are. I couldn't ask for a better brother.  
Edge: .... from what I gathered you were, traps.

Blue: “Issues about culture clash and pride.”

Bird World:  
Dove: ..... Sans, I want to keep him. Look at his sleepy face Sans. He is so adorable with his sharp teeth and how he could fit under one of my wings.  
Bird: Uh. K Paps? Maybe take that up with him when he's sober.  
B Alphys: Sans, he looks a lot like you. I can p-probably just m-make a model of your wings.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Skdnjfkd Razz is gonna become Falcon from the Avengers I can’t)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is basically adopted by Dove now, Dove has always wanted to have someone small to teach to fly.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This is going to be too precious)

Swap House:  
Traps: Y-you two were coming up with solutions, a-and running around taking risks just to keep each other alive and as safe as possible.... a-and all I could do was stare at a wall after Sans’s injury, thinking about how hopeless everything was. You two are the greatest brothers anyone could ask for and it breaks my heart seeing you fight!  
Red: Oh stars dammit, ya did your best with what you had. Stop saying stupid shit.  
Traps: … and now I’ve somehow made this whole thing about me.... and here I thought I was helping.

Bird World:  
Burb Sans: Ehhh, why not. You able to make actual wings or will these be robotic? I’m curious.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Axe: You did stop them fighting. Seems handled to me.

Bird World:  
B Alphys: Ok! I-I just need to see your wings up close! Hmm. Probably mechanical like Metteton’s.... but hyper realistic!  
Dove: *Makes little coo noises at Razz’s sleepy half cuddles.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I'm sorry we’ve been writing ”Burb” so much for B. sans yesterday all I can think of him now is Burb dkdlflgk)

Swap House:  
Traps: No, I’ve just distracted them! They can’t truly reconcile until they see the good they have done for each other and I just ruined it. *Cue the waterworks.*  
Red: Dammit don't cry!  
Edge: No no no no no! You put those away right now!  
Rus: I get it now!  
Comic: Huh?  
*Pop sound from somewhere downstairs, the lights going out.*

Undyne: “That’s awful! DX Is everything okay on your end?”  
Blue: “Yes and no. There is a lot of screaming going on downstairs and the monster that disagreement was with left a while ago.... And I just think we lost power. Do you still have it at your place?”  
Undone: “Yes.”.  
Blue: “Must just be my house then.”

Bird World:  
Burb: Dang Alph, you work quick.  
*Alphys already has one of the wings 50% done, metallic feathers and everything.*  
B Alphys: W-well, I already had to make one for Undyne, so it helps that I know what I'm doing.  
Burb: I thought you'd take this project home with you.  
B Alphys: If you want them painted then I will.  
*Razz isn't as clingy as he is super sick but he's enjoying the warm soft feathers tickling his arms in his sleep.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I live for Razz loving soft fuzzy stuff. And he is Burb now. That is all)

Swap House:  
Traps: I hope this isn't my fault too!  
Comic: I’ll check the machine.  
Blue: *From his room.* IS EVERYONE OK?

Bird World:  
Burb: ....k. I still wanna know how he got here.  
B Alphys: *Working hard.* Where d-did you fi-nd him?  
Burb: In free fall at a couple thousand feet.  
Dove: THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLACE FOR THE WINGLESS!

***  
HomeHawk12

Bird World  
Burb: That’s what I told him. I was just on my lazy 12 O’clock glide when there was this big flash of light, all of a sudden he’s free falling in the distance. Says he’s another me from another world.  
B Alphys: Another world? A-another you????  
Dove: Well, it would explain why you look so much alike.... but that is still hard to believe.  
Burb: I thought so too, then he summoned my blaster and told me several things that only me and you would know. Plus his sudden appearance makes me think he’s being honest.

Swap House:  
*Comic leaves to check the machine.*  
Rus: You see! You both worked hard for each other whether you knew it or not, but now.  
*Looks at Red.* You are in the same mindset that your brother still needs all this protection when he’s far stronger than you’re willing to accept. And- *Looks to Edge.* You're a lot more eager to move on and accept the changes with the surface world, but you’re leaving your brother in the dust with your lack of communication. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!  
*Blue comes downstairs.*  
Blue: What the heck is going in here????

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Rus: Communication and Acceptance Hopefully!  
Blue: That’s great, but I meant the power.  
Comic: *From the basement.* HEY! did anyone teach Razz how to work the machine?  
Slim: No, I just did it.  
Comic: Pretty sure he didn't do it right and is in a new universe.  
Slim: Oh fuck.

Bird World:  
B Alphys: W-while I'm doing this you should see if anyone else shows up.  
Burb: Yeah. ‘K Alph. Maybe once he is awake he'll tell us more.  
Dove: I will watch him while you’re gone brother!  
(So many Papyrus trying to adopt the Razzberry tbh)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Rus: .... family therapy will continue later.  
*Slim pulls out his phone and starts trying to call his brother's number. Everyone else heads downstairs.*  
Comic: *Half his body is inside the back panel of the machine trying to fix it.* So.... he screwed up some of the settings which caused a power overload that blew a fuse. Looks like it also blew out a couple on the house's power break. (I think that’s right idk I’m not an electrician lol)  
Red: So the idiot stranded us here?  
Comic: Not for long, we just need to buy a couple new fuses from the store and install ‘em. My worry is getting Razz back.  
Slim: I-I keep calling his number, but it says it doesn’t exist! T-the world he’s in doesn’t have a machine!

Bird World:  
B Alphys: What color do you think I should paint them?  
Razz: zzz... *Hic.* BLACK!!! With like... bluish-teal on the tips, f-fading up ya dark purple! ... zzzzz.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is a rebel with the frosted tips, don't listen to his drunk rambles)

Swap House  
Slim: He should be able to keep himself safe for awhile ..... but I would rather not find out how long.  
Edge: He really shouldn't have tried leaving on his own.

Bird World:  
B Alphys: OMG that’s so c-cool! Like Cheep Cheep Kissy Cutie!  
Razz: Yeeeeeeeeeees.

***  
HomeHawk12

Bird World:  
B. Undyne: What’s up nerd?! *Passes over Burb while he’s cruising the sky.*  
Burb: On the lookout for wingless falling monsters. You haven’t seen any, have ya?  
B Undyne: Nope! Who would be stupid enough to free fall without wings?  
Burb: The monster currently taking up my sofa. Your girlfriend volunteered to make robot wings for him.  
Undyne: Like my prosthetic?!?!  
Burb: Yep.  
B Undyne: SICK!!!!!

Swap House:

*Meanwhile at the hardware store.*  
Comic: Well, this is awkward.  
Edge: What?  
Comic: I forgot the size of fuse needed for Blue’s house.  
Edge: ......

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Comic: I’ll just text him.  
C and B Private Chat:  
Lazy Me: Hey Blue, what fuses does your house need?  
MagnifiSans: Oh, Papyrus knows this better than me, one second and I’ll check .....there's a big T on them and a 30 if that helps.

Bird World:  
Razz: ….zzzzzz....  
Dove: Alphys!! I am so excited to show someone how to fly! It will be like I have a little brother!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Ya know, once you get passed the questionable decisions in the first episode, the Magnus thing really isn’t that bad:  
Alphys: Told you!  
Undyne: H-hey Papyrus. Is everything okay at home? Your brother said there was a lot of shouting downstairs and then the power went out. He hasn’t messaged me back since.

Bird World:  
B Alphys: It’s going to be sooooo cute! He looks a little smaller then your brother?  
Dove: *Lifts him up to test his weight.* I’d say about 22 pounds. My brother is 25, but I think the wings may contribute.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Fun fact! Bones make up 11% of a human’s body weight, so you could calculate how much they would weigh with flesh and muscle using those numbers!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: The powers out? That’s weird. No, they were just relentlessly teasing me on what I like and apparently Edge and Razz are innocent and torture isn't to be 'ruined by sexual desires.'  
Undyne: a-aren’t those two the -  
Alphys: Leather daddies?  
Stretch: *Was not expecting that from Alphys what????*

Bird World:  
B. Alphys: OMG he's tiny! You skeletons are the best at acrobatics from your light weight.  
(B Alphys could be called Chitter from how chirpy she gets about anime)  
Burb: ‘dyne, this guy was kinda funny, he was totally just done and free falling. No screaming or anything. A soul of damn steel.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Chitter is cute! We can go with that as her nickname. Maybe Ace for b Undyne? Like an “aerial ace” type deal from wwi and wwii fliers?)

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: Yeah, well, apparently they aren’t so much “leather daddies” as they are just professional torturers with no interest in sex whatsoever. And they got mad at me for assuming!  
Undyne: H-honestly..... that was what I first thought too....  
Alphys: I think we all did. I mean, just LOOK AT HOW THEY DRESS!!!

Bird World:  
Dove: INDEED! Only the best from the Great Papyrus! We’ll be putting on aerial displays of greatness before anyone can say “WOAH!!!”  
Chitter: It’s time to paint them!  
Razz: …. zzzzzz.....

Undyne: What?! No way!  
Burb: I swear that’s how it happened. He even had this, like, mildly irritated but calm conversation with me on the way down. No parachute or anything. I double checked.  
B Undyne: So he was just gonna crash land???? Was the idiot trying to dust???  
Burb: Not sure, but as I said, he was just done.  
B Undyne: ... I gotta meet this guy

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yeeees, those names are cute! We can do in story reasons later but we kinda need the names now)  
Ace: That has to be the most badass way of dying I've ever heard off.  
Burb: Yeah, right now I'm making sure no one else plummets to their death.

Chitter: OMG we can do a gradient of the colors or just border each feather or even make a pattern! Omg!  
Dove: GASP. Those sound amazing!

C and B Chat:  
Lazy Me: Can u send a picture Blue?  
MagnifiSans: Oh that would be helpful wouldn't it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Now I gotta look up bird wing feather patters for visuals ghggf. They’re are some cool ones we could base off of bird species)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pretty sure Burb had blue/black raven wings, Dove has white, I think Undyne has hawk wings and Alphys is sparrow?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Lol that sounds about right. I’m curious how they gonna paint Razz’s though. Like based on existing bird species plumage patterns or something else?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The goats are snowy owls)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(That’s adorable fjdkd)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Comic: Good news is he sent me a pic of what we need.  
Edge: And? Comic: Bad news is, they don’t have any at this hardware store. We gotta check elsewhere.  
Edge: ...... brilliant.

Bird World:  
Dove: OH OH OH! Let’s try the pattern after a Purple Martin! It has got the colors he drunkenly asked for!  
Chitter: *Squeal.* And bright purple tips on the longest feathers!  
Dove: YESSSSS!!!!!!  
Razz: *Sleepily getting a sinking feeling.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Comic: There’s another store about 10 minutes away.

Bird World:  
Dove: He is going to be the prettiest fledgling!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge:... you know, why don’t you just teleport there?  
Comic:.... you see, that would have been the smart thing, but that’s pretty big distance for a teleport.... and we already took Blue’s car sooo....

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge is having an emotional stroke)  
Edge: at least I'm driving...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Comic: Sorry ‘bout that.... *Awkward smile.*  
Edge: *Just facepalms and walks back to the parking lot.*

Bird World:  
Dove: I think they are done!  
Chitter: I-I just need to put the sealant on once they dry.  
Dove: I’m so excited for when he wakes up!!! I can’t wait!!!  
Chitter: You might have to, at least a few hours.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Red: At least he doesn't think I'm the idiot of the day anymore.

Bird World:  
Dove: He is very drunk right now that's for sure! ..... Sans never said what the fledgling’s name was.  
Chitter: Sans said he was a Sans from another universe.  
Dove: well, that's confusing!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
*Comic and Red have installed the new fuses in both the house and machine.*  
Comic: Soooooo I got more good news.... and bad news.  
Edge: Please tell me we don’t need to drive out again.  
Comic: No, the machine is functioning, which is the good news. Unfortunately, the fuse blow seems to have wiped the bookmarked universes and the history of ones recently traveled to.  
Everyone: .....  
Comic: I think I can go through and break it down through binary, maybe recover the data through other means.  
Slim: And how long will that take.  
Comic: Uuhhhhhh, let’s stick a pin in that.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Slim: Um. Ok ok. So while you do that, I’ll make some packs to take. Probably should take some knives and rope.... just in cause.

Razz: *Sleepy noises.*  
Chitter: I have to take a picture-  
Ace: *Burst in.* SANS SAID THERE WAS A BADASS HERE!  
Razz: *Panicked scrambling.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House  
Red: Not so fast. The phone calls don’t go through, so they don’t have a functioning machine. Can we assume they have a busted up one instead? I’d think it’s safer ta say there might not be one, period. We can get there, but we don’t have a guaranteed way home.  
Edge: Maybe we can get a communicator built, have one person go through so we have a signal, then the scout can determine if a machine does indeed exist.  
Rus: But who’s going?  
Edge: Me obviously. I’m the strongest one here. If it’s a dangerous world with strong monsters I’m best equipped-  
Red: NO.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Slim: I should. He is my brother and if we get trapped only one universe would be lacking skeletons.

Bird World  
Razz: *A weak bone attack in his hand.* WHO DARES ATTACK ME?!?  
ACE: OH! OH! ME! YES! LET’S SPAR BADASS SKELETON!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Red: ....it makes the most sense.  
Edge: I’m not letting him go. He’s not as well prepared if things get ugly.

Traps: … we could have the volunteers draw straws???

Bird House:  
Razz: *Stands despite still being tipsy.* KNOW THAT YOU DARE FACE THE FORMER CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! DO YOU STILL FOOLISHLY WISH TO PROCEED?!?!  
Ace: YESSSSSSS!!!! LETS GO-Wait, are you drunk? *Razz is having trouble determining where the ground exactly is.*  
Burb: Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Blue: Would it be better to send someone that already knows how to build a machine though? In which case it should be Stretch, Comic or Red-  
Edge: STOP MAKING THIS DIFFICULT!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Blue: I’m not, I am being logical. Something a Captain should be right now. So let's actually think about what the person or people going need to have.

Bird World:  
Ace: .... I can't fight someone drunk while sober. Thats unfair. ..... hey Papyrus! Where's your alcohol?  
Razz: If your fuckjng universe couldn't kill me youz got no chance!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Chitter: Undyne no! We can’t afford to pay for more house damages!  
Aces: But I wanna fight now!  
Dove: We are going to teach him flight soon! See! *Holds up recently painted wings.*  
Ace: THOSE ARE SICK!!!! WE COULD DO ARIAL COMBAT!!!!

Swap House:  
*Blue has a small white board out with all the requirements they need to think about before sending someone. So far the listed entries include Red, Edge, and Slim. Comic and Stretch are out due to low HP.*

Blue: and honestly, the only reason for Slim on the list is that he’s Razz’s brother and they trust each other. Since you don’t know how to fix the machine that’s another point against sending you.  
Slim: But I can teleport!  
Blue: … and so can Red, a point for both of you.  
Edge: So you are saying multiple people should go? That means greater risk of more losses.  
Blue: But if you are teleporting without a functioning machine into a new world, that would mean random entry points, right? The more we send, the more we risk losing someone to a bad teleport.  
Axe: ..... this is making my head hurt.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Another reason not to send you. You have a pre-existing condition. Traps too. I am hesitant to send only Fell monsters in case you need to seem harmless....

Bird World:  
Ace: I AM SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW!  
Razz: A-are we fighting or ...... not...?  
Dove: *Soft coo sounds, tries to soothe Razz into laying back down, basically scooping him under a wing.* Shh.... you need rest if we are going to get you to fly.  
Burb: If you’re looking to use up energy Undyne, you can help me keep a shift watch round where I found him.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Rus: .... Slim is pretty good at acting harmless.  
Edge: Here is an idea. Send me and one other with a teleporting ability. If I’m there we won’t need to worry too much about low HP from the secondary member. You could send Stretch or Comic in with me, then we have a teleporter that can fix the machine, with somebody else to defend against strong attackers. That also fills your quota for having at least one Tale monster in the group.  
Blue: *Sweating at the idea of sending Stretch because of the three of them fighting earlier, but not sure if Comic will go for it.*  
Comic: You can spend more time planning you know. This isn’t getting finished today.

Bird World:  
Razz: .... your wings.... *Hic* …. are so sofffttttttt. *Mesmerized by the floof when dove puffs his wings more.*  
Ace: Fine. We can keep shifts.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Dove: *Sparkle eyes.* This skeleton is mine now brother. *  
Burb: *Sweatdrops.* Uh.... should really take that up with him... once he's .. sober...  
Chitter: *Fanfiction writer activate.*

Swap House:  
Blue: We can see if my brother is up for the run... probably ... should… get him back for help on the machine....

Roleplay Date:  
Stretch: So the dragon just-  
Swap dyne: It’s *sniff* saaaaaad!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*incoming call from Blue.*  
Stretch: Sup’ bro?  
Blue: Papy, I need you to come home. We have a situation.  
Stretch: I don’t know bro. I’m not eager to get mocked and yelled at again. It needs to be something pretty important.  
Blue: Razz was mad so he tried to go to his home world but did something wrong now he’s stuck in a new dimension without a machine and our machine had a complete data wipe with the power outage so we don’t know where he is and Comic and Red are trying to fix it and we are trying to figure out a rescue party and your one of the ones being considered and look this is really stressful and your input would be really appreciated... please.  
Stretch: That’s.... okay, I’ll come back and see what’s up, but if Edge says anything else derogatory about you know what I’m leaving.  
Blue: THANK YOU!!!!

Bird World:  
Chitter: *Typing her newest fanfic away on her smartphone.* Razz is the “Mysterious Stranger” and Dove is his daring saviour. They’re brotherly feelings may be leading to something more?  
Dove: You know I can understand your mumbling right? I don’t know if “something more” is really appropriate. He’s kind of my brother.... kind of.  
Chitter: EEP! *Hard blush.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World  
Dove: .... what?  
Chitter: That makes i-it suspenseful. W-will they o-or won't they?  
Dove: *Wing flick.* I don't see the appeal?  
Razz: *Shuffles closer for the warm.*  
Chitter: *Fangirl squeal.*

Swap House:  
Blue: ALRIGHT EVERYONE. I WANT NO TEASING OR TORMENTING UNTIL RAZZ IS DEEMED SAFE. I. MEAN. IT. *Socket twitch.*  
Slim: ..... Blue are you ok?

Bird Word:  
Chitters expresion

***  
HomeHawk12  
(YEEESSSSS XDDDDD RAZZ UNINTENTIONALLY FUELLING HER FLAMES)

Swap House:  
Blue: I AM PERFECTLY FINE! NEVER BETTER! JUST. DON’T. TEASE. PAPY. *Devil eyelight flickers momentarily.* ESPECIALLY YOU TWO!!!!!  
*Jabs a finger at Edge and Red.*  
Edge: .... whatever.  
Blue: NO WHATEVERS. I NEED A PROMISE.  
Edge: ............. fine. I promise not to “tease” your brother about his bedroom activities.  
Blue: Perfect! Red?  
Red: I ain’t promising nothing.

Bird World:  
Chitter: ‘The mysterious stranger awakens in the hands of his saviour, glowing white wings nearly blinding him with their radiance. He notices that neither of them are wearing shirts, leaving both of their broad, boney chest exposed to each other. The stranger couldn’t help but reach up and stroke the others-‘  
Dove: It’s getting weird again.  
Chitter: S-stop looking over my shoulder then! This is what the readers love!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red you ass. Omg. And Dove is beta reading/ editing)

Bird World:  
Dove: This Sans is quite tiny. He might be broad for his size, but not really. My Sans is probably broader, which means this one is thinner by comparison. And I am not that broad either. I don't know how I compare to his Papyrus however. And he barely reaches my sternum Alphys. Although my wings are that brilliant. A bony chest is a ribcage Alphys, it has a name. He probably wouldn't just touch a random ribcage, thats just rude. I could see him touching my wing, as he not only would wake to that, but doesn't have any so he might touch them in curiosity.  
(Dove is probably the broadest Paps to handle his wing structure comfortably)  
Razz: *Kitten sneezes from the feathers tickling his nasal aperture.* Chu!  
Alphys: *More squeals, with tail fwips in excitement.*

Swap House:-  
Red: I ain't making promises if there's even a chance of breaking dem. I will pull back on them though. I am an asshole, gotta keep my rep.  
Blue: .....  
Red: Look Blue, I'm the one that was trying to teach the baby sub how to be safe about it. If I don't joke he will get all embarrassed and leave.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Blue: If you DO JOKE he said he’s going to leave! That’s what he said!  
Red: Still not promising.  
*Blue marches up and grabs the Red right on the back of his second vertebrae and pulls.*  
Red: OUCH! THAT HURTS YA DICK!  
Blue: Edge, may I borrow that pear tool of yours?  
Edge: *Grins deviously.* Since you asked so nicely....

Bird World:  
Chitter: It’s... honestly hard to tell how broad he is with that shirt on.  
Dove: I am not taking off his shirt without permission. That’s rude!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Red: Letting y’all know now, I'm a hard switch. You better bring it, Baby Blue. It takes a lot to faze me.  
Edge: ..... *Revolted.* I will allow the desecration of my tools.  
Blue: Thanks Edge!  
Red: Hey Berry Blue, you ever wonder what my bite force is? I do. Let's find out~ wonder if me or Razzy has a bigger bite force.  
(Red the total ass, a rat bastard, totally love reading about him)

Bird World:  
Dove: Sans can barely fit under my wing and this Sans is almost hidden completely! And look at his pointy teeth and little hands with the claws!  
Chitter: O-oh-oh my God. Fangs and claws? Oh gosh. *Nosebleed.*  
Dove: Alphys, please use a tissue. We have talons, it.... isn't too odd that he has claws.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god he’s gonna make this hard. Edge has an Ace though ;D)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pfffffffffffffft! Omg thats! Has me giggling!)  
(Oh no. Red is going..... to make this hard)  
(I am giggling my head off rn)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Shit that didn’t even register right away shhvjkkl XDD Let’s gets this started)

Swap House:  
Edge: Well, I HAVE something I’ve been wanting to try for a while, I just haven’t met anyone that really deserves the treatment. I couldn’t even bring myself to do it to your brother.  
Blue: What are you planning?  
Edge: *After strapping Red to the chair, reaches into his torture tool bag and pulls out two containers.*  
Red: *Eyelights go out momentarily.* What the hell?! Why???  
Edge: *Shakes a full container of pink glitter, and another container of Vegemite.* oh, I Just brought a few new tools to test. You don’t mind, do you?

Bird World:  
*Dove’s wing accidentally brushes against Razz’s sweet spot, getting a low rumbling purr to come out.*  
Chitter: *Nose bleed becomes nose fountain.* HE’S A CAT!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: Oh. That's interesting. Sans and I don't do that, we more so coo or hum a bit. This is rather nice, I must admit. Feels great on my wing. I wonder if I scratch his skull a bit it will get louder? Alphys, do you want to get on his other side to cuddle in a bit? This is lovely on the feathers.

Swap House:  
Red: I am a damn garbage disposal, careful you don't get chomped. *Clinks his teeth to draw attention to those choppers. Those can do a lot of damage-*  
Edge: *Dumps the glitter in not only Red’s sockets but down his shirt and jacket.*  
Red: *Puffs and sneezes pink.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Do you admit defeat yet? *Smearing Vegemite all over his spreading pear, sprinkled pink glitter on top.*  
Red: *Hacks out a glitter cloud* YA KIDDING ME? THIS IS NOTHIN’! BRING IT ON!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Oh, is that your Metteton’s Metteton Brand of glitter? It is super fine.  
Red: *Sneers.* Nah I can tell its Rus’s Metteton!  
.........  
Blue: .... how.... often do you ingest glitter?  
Red: I have had MANY adventures kiddo.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh, should I tell them about your one night stand with a certain.... glitter connoisseur from our home dimension?  
Red: .... What?  
Edge: Oh brother, you think I am so naive to everyone that’s hired you, but I happened to be doing a running job for Grillby the same night you were doing a job for a certain.... “star”, if you will?  
Red: *Internal screams between “how much does he know?!” and “oh god did he see anything?!?!”*  
Blue: .... now I’m curious.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: Red gets extra pocket cash sometimes from preforming extreme sexual acts. Mettaton has paid at least once that I know of, after.... a free trial of sorts.

Bird World:  
*Dove and Chitter are now semi roosting with Razz purring between them.*  
Chitter: OMG he-he could be the innocent yet hot tease!  
Dove: .... I don’t think that's right!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Red: Papyrus I swear to Asgore-MMPHHH!!! *Vegimite covered pear shoved into Red’s mouth.*  
Red: *HOLY SHIT THIS IS GROSSSSS.*

***  
Bookwyrm

That's Red.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDD THAT FACE IS PERFECT!!! Holy shit I’m dying!!!)  
Edge: Oh, so he finally shuts up! Let’s see what else we can try.

Bird World:  
Chitter and Dove: sooooooo happppyyyy!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: *Pokes Red, no response.* D-did we break him?  
Edge: No, he's just a drama bastard cat.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh the thumb press! How much glitter can I grind into your joints?  
Red: ..... *Starting to question how much he can actually handle. Edge knows his weakness.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Glares around the pear in his mouth.*  
Edge: ... welcome to the disco.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh Blue! Do you have any peanut butter to spare?  
Edge: I should put some music on!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... peanut butter?  
Edge: Aweful to get out of our fangs and gets into any cracks in our mouths. Do you have any dubstep?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Everyone in the basement hears the dubstep blasting through some massive subwoofers shaking the foundation.*  
Red: *Peanut butter all up in his mouth and finger joints, Edge now pushing it between his vertebrae. It feels slimy and cold.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Still glaring, his inner asshole not allowing him to break.*  
Comic: *Walks up to ask them to stop, he is doing delicate wire work-* ....... I don't want to know why your buttering up Red. I’ll just do some other work for now. ..... probably shouldn't let Axe or Traps in here with a prepared up Red.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: *Glares at Comic like he wants to murder him.*  
*Doorknob turns. Stretch entering. It takes a moment for his sockets to fully take in the sight.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: ......uuuuh.... ok what the heck?  
Blue: Papy! You're back! *Hugs Stretch.*  
Stretch: Oh. Um, is this the demonstration Red talked about? Uh..... what’s the safe... gesture? Signal? Whatever it’s called.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Oh good, you’re here. Hilarious isn’t it?  
Stretch: Uhhhhhhhh.....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... um. If I remember right.... I'm supposed to ask what the partner likes, right?  
Blue: Papy, this is regular torture.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Red: *Gives him a thumbs up at remembering that information, only for Edge to slap him in the back of the head making more glitter poof out.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .... oh. Um. This is awkward. *Shuffles a bit* .......... um. This .... doesn't have anything to do with me, does it?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I wanted the Fells to promise me they wouldn’t tease you so you wouldn’t run away again! Edge promised he wouldn’t, but Red was being mean about it so I asked Edge to help me make him promise!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: ..... bro he's a Judge. And he's Red.  
Red: *Smug energy and a 'see he gets it' look.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: *covers the end of a Q-tip with peanut butter and glitter, sticking it deep inside Red’s we hole, really making him kick and his growl rise in pitch.*  
Edge: gasp I FOUND HIS WEAK SPOT!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(What the hell is a “we hole”)  
(Like I honestly don't know)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ear hole! Shit stupid autocorrect XD)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh ok! That makes sense. )

Red:* Is doing a weird shrug dance, causing his bones to rattle. VERY NOT PLEASANTLY TO HEAR.*  
Stretch: Ew. That’s... kinky I guess?  
Edge: NO IT ISN’T.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Do you promise not to make fun of Stretch as Blue asked?  
*Red glowers, Edge taking a second covered q-tip swirling it around the other “we entrance”. He squirms even more.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(God dammit the “we entrance” aaaaaaaaah)  
(I'm crying)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I thought you would XD autocorrect did it again and I didn’t bother the fix dgjjk)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Radiates bastard energy, the pear not allowing him to speak.*  
Stretch: Um, he can't respond like that....

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: He can nod. *Shoves the first q-tip as deep as it would go, making Red’s growl rise another two octaves.*  
Edge: Would you like the other one in too? Or will you finally help Blue out?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Uh... he can't clearly nod for those questions.... even if he answers, how are you going to interpret it..... I get a lot of what he said, that you need to see it to recognize what doesn't work........  
Edge: Well, excuse me for usually not doing recreational torture!  
Red: *Is a lil proud Stretch is learning fast.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Stretch was paying attention during his embarrassed breakdown fdjfbfk)

Edge: Fine then! Brother, nod if you promise to not mock Stretch and assist Blue by cooperating.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: *Winces at the word.... promise *.... how ‘bout a deal? You leave off for a while, and I’ll help you get razzy riled up once things settle?  
Red: *Single nod.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: HA! VICTORY!!! *He is feeling extra proud of himself.*  
*Takes the pear out of Red’s mouth letting him cough up more glitter.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: God damn Paps .... you fucking bought the honey peanut butter, didn't you? I can tell you that our Metteton’s glitter is more irritating initially at the least.  
Stretch: Is this the communication on what happened that you're supposed to do after?  
Red: So you were listening!

Blue: ......*Is a little lost.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes. Chitter will have many ...many.... fictions. Shes kinda obsessed with skeletons.


	15. Razz Takes Flight And Slim Is Sad.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad Slim, Razz gives no shits. Chitter is very interested. Ace is excited for a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick nickname rundown:  
> Comic: UT Sans  
> Rus: UT Papyrus  
> Blue: US Sans  
> Stretch: US Papyrus  
> Red: UF Sans  
> Edge: UF Papyrus  
> Razz: SF Sans  
> Slim: SF Papyrus  
> Axe: HT Sans  
> Traps: HT Papyrus  
> Burb: Birdtale Sans  
> Dove: Birdtale Papyrus  
> Chitter: Birdtale Alphys  
> Ace: Birdtale Undyne  
> Bubo: Birdtale Asgore

HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Edge: *Gives him an evil smirk.*  
Red: Don’t even think about telling him or the deal is off!  
Edge: I don’t know what you’re talking about.  
Red: Whatever! I’m gonna wash this shit out of my skull, and joints, AND EARS!!!!  
Stretch: *Watches as he leaves a trail of pink glitter on the carpet while climbing the stairs to get to the shower.*  
Edge: Wow, he’s actually showering voluntarily. This was the best torture session I’ve ever done! I BESTED MY SLUT BROTHER!

Bird World:  
Burb: *Returns home after it gets too dark to keep a lookout for more falling monsters. Nocturnal monsters have volunteered to keep a watch.* I’m home, no more new visitors yet- *Stops at seeing Chitter and Dove roosting with a curled up Razz.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Blue: ....um. I'm not the best judge.... but you probably shouldn't brag about besting your “slut brother”........  
Stretch: *Burst out laughing.*

Bird World:  
Burb: ...... ok. I guess Paps can keep him.  
Dove: *Blinks.* Oh! Brother! How was your day?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: Eh, nothing that can outdo the appearance of the little raspberry.*Shrugs.*

Swap House:  
Edge: *Offended by the laughter.* WHAT? What's SO FUNNY!?  
*Stretch is doubled over cackling.*  
Stretch: Christ you’re killing me Edgelord!  
Edge: YOU AREN’T MAKING ANY SENSE!  
Red: *From the upstairs bathroom.* YOU’RE ADMITTING TO BEING A BIGGER SLUT THAN ME!  
Edge: *Having to pause and think over it while Stretch a rolling around on the floor and Blue is barely able to hold back laughter.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: *Blushes a vibrant red, pink dusting the edges of it.* THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL.  
Red: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.  
Edge: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT I SAID!  
Stretch: Nyeheheheheheheh! Oh, oh God that's too good.  
Blue: Um -mweh- maybe ....conquered? Dominated- mwehe- there's not a good way to say that!

Bird World:  
Dove: Sans, do you want to roost too? I can preen a few feathers for you if you sit on my other side. I have an empty wing. Did you know the other Sans purrs?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Edge: AND NOW MY VICTORY HAS BEEN SOILED! I HOPE YOU ALL ARE HAPPY! *Stops when even Blue can’t keep himself from laughing anymore, blushing harder.*  
Stretch: NYEHEHEHEHE! believe me Edgelord, I am!  
Red: YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STOP TALKING IF YOU VALUE THE LITTLE RESPECT THEY STILL HAVE FOR YA!  
Edge: GAAAAAAAAA!!!! *Stomps out the front door.*  
Blue Mweheheheh.... oh... oh stars, I guess I’ll clean his tools off then.

Bird World:  
Burb: Purr?  
*Dove scratches Razz on the side of the head, getting him to erupt in a low purring noise.*  
Burd: Heheheheheheh, oh stars that’s adorable.  
*Dove pats the unclaimed side of the couch next to him, Burb snuggling in for the night.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Snuggle birds! Yes! Razz is going to have quite the morning)

Swap House:  
*For the rest of the day, Blue and stretch can't stop giggling every time they think back. Red took a whole hour in the shower and was still sparkly.*

Bird World:  
*Razz wakes up at 2 in the morning. Very confused at the fluff he is surrounded in.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(God when I read that Red was still sparkly all I could think about is this)

Razz: Owwwwww..... *Hangover pains*..... *Looks at the fluffy, now realizing he wasn't snuggling with Lord Hater. He tries to sit up to defend himself and assess the situation, only to be gently kept in place by the wing’s owner.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red would if it made Edge sputter and rage)

Dove: *Woken up.* Hello other Sans! My brother said your nickname was Razz? You still seem a bit woozy. Maybe take a minute to wake up?  
Razz: *Tired in many ways.* Oh great, another sugar sweet universe.... thought that was a weird dream or something. Guess I really didn't put the right code in for my universe.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I'm pretty sure Edge would have an aneurism from the pure stupidity fkgjgkl)

Razz:.... or maybe that trip just killed me, and this is somehow my personal hell.  
Dove: I can assure you that we here are very much alive, and there is no way the surface is hell!  
Razz: Is that so? How would you know?  
Dove: Getting to spread my wings under the warm sun and fly wherever the wind takes me! That is freedom, and no way would such a horrific place as hell allow for such feelings of joy.  
Chitter: Guys be quieter.... trying at sleep... zzzzzz….. *Snuggles closer to Razz and Dove.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Contemplating on whether or not he can safely get out of this monster pile.* I should probably be finding a way back then.  
Burb: Sun isn't....up.... it’s sleep time...

Swap House:  
*Red has been banned from the couch in Blue’s house until he is no longer sparkly.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dear God this is a hectic day djfkgl)

Bird World:  
Razz: *Huffs, determining he’s in a tree house of sorts based on the way the house sways and creaks. He could try climbing down but also risk these mushy monsters trying to stop him. He wasn't in the mood to kill them.*  
Razz: Whatever...*Literally lays in the monster pile grumbling until the sun finally comes up.*

Swap House:  
*Red had to sleep on a newspaper pile on the hard floor with a single pillow. He was also banned from all carpeted areas of the house as he’d already inground too much glitter there too.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: *Salty boy.* Fuck, I usually like being treated like a dog, but not to this extent.  
Slim: Razz would have used a blue colored glitter.....  
Red: *Can't even touch to reassure Slim without a sparkle infection.*

Bird World:  
Dove: Alright.... *Yawn.* Sans. Suns up. Get up. *Wings stretch*  
Burb: *Flops over in a feathery pile.* ….zzzzzzz....  
Razz: *Escapes the fluff prison.* Right, ok...... do you have a machine at all?  
Chitter: *Blinks.* A m-machine? We can show you the wings we made... I have many machines!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
*Edge is the first one up to start breakfast that morning, Blue being too tired after several stressful days in a row (and spending too long the other day trying to vacuum up glitter that never seemed to go away.*  
Red: Mmmmmmm, smells good Boss. What ya making?  
Edge: Pancakes, obviously. How many do you want Slim?  
Slim: Uuhhhhhhnnnnnn..... I’m not hungry. *Sad boy Slim sitting with his face on the table sighing miserably.*  
Red: ..... more for me the-OOF! *Edge responds with a bare foot to Red’s face.*

Bird World:  
Razz: ..... I guess they never gave the damn thing a proper name, that will make this harder.... wait, wings?  
Dove: YES! *He and Chitter scramble to check that the creation was dry and ready to use.*  
Both: TA-DA!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Slim: *Stressed, tired, has no filter.* No incest at breakfast please it makes the normies feel left out.  
Comic: *Chokes on his pancake.*  
Slim: *’Oh shit I said that’ face.*

Bird World:  
Razz: .... um. Those are very nice.... why are you showing me this?  
Dove: *Excited chirps and chitters.* So we can help you fly small Sans! While we adjust it to you, you can tell us all about your universe!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Rus: SLIM! THAT WAS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE!  
Red: Give him a pass. The poor guys stress- OOOF! Stop kicking me!  
Edge: *Ignores him, putting a plate in front of Slim anyway.* You need to keep your strength up. Your brother may need you once the machine gets repaired later. Right Comic?  
Comic: Yeah..... when I get it repaired today.... hopefully....

Bird World:  
Razz: HEY! I AM NOT SMALL! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  
Dove: But you are shorter and lighter than my Sans, and I have no other reference point for Sans sizes.  
Razz: *Blushing, cuz dammit the guy is right.* REGARDLESS, YOU ARE ONLY PERMITTED FO ADRESS ME AS RAZZ OR SANS, FORMER ROYAL GUARD CAPTAIN! *Too distracted by the height comment to notice Chitter currently doing measurements and tinkering with the wing size.*  
Burb: *Yawn.* We should talk about this over breakfast. I’m starving here.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I wanna have dove do whole grain noodles and like handmade garlic bread for his spaghetti. And razz be pretty adjusted once rescue comes.)

Swap House:  
Slim: *Sad brotherless boy.* Comic, will it be some time today?

Bird World:  
Chitter: Almost d-done!  
Razz: What are you doing???

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yes brotherly noodle cooking with Razz, making a comment about Dove spitting up food for his young!)

Swap House:  
Comic: .......  
Slim: .......  
Comic: I’ll get back to you on that.  
*Slim’s head drops back to the table.*

Bird World:  
Dove: Oh, how could I be so rude! You are probably starving- Wait! FORMER GUARD CAPTAIN?!  
Chitter: Now we hook this on like a backpack.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Yes, upon reaching the surface it was disbanded. I was the captain. Alphys was before me. I've been told my universe has many people swapped and is more violent than others.  
Dove: Oh my God, that's awesome!  
Razz: *Oh boy Dove gets screechy.*  
Chitter: Let me just connect this to- oh ... you don't have a secondary shoulder joint to connect to.... hm. Let me examine you a bit!

Swap House:  
Slim: *Is sadder.*  
Red: Slim, it’s not like this is the longest you've been without Razz. It’s just a day or two.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: But we were on bad terms then..... now we are getting along and I don’t wanna be apart.... what if something happens?

Bird World:  
Razz: .... you want me to take off my shirt?! I still have no idea what you are doing?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: Connecting artificial wings? If you’re stuck here you're going to want them.  
Razz: And this is.... absolutely required?  
Dove: I can show you the basics and get you into flying shape! No fledgling would have a better teacher!

Swap House:  
Red: You said he can handle himself.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: But he was getting over that fever still..... what if it got worse again????? *Puppy dog pout.*

Bird World:  
Razz: ..... *Looks out window to see they are several hundred feet off the ground in a massive tree*...... fine, but only because it’s required. *Removed shirt.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Red: *Is not qualified for emotional support* .... Uh. Well. It’s hard to kill a bastard like him so I guess he's fine?

Bird World:  
Chitter: *Anxious bird noises.* U-m, I’ve just.... never seen a m-monster without wings before!  
Razz: Yes, I know I'm scarred up.  
Dove: *WANTS TO WRAP HIM IN BUBBLE WRAP, HOW IS HE TO PUSH THIS BANGED UP BABY OFF A BRANCH NOW???* No. No, you are fine! We just have to figure out the best way to connect it.... the spine perhaps?  
Razz: ... this isn't permanent is it?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Back!)  
(Oh god Dove is already underestimating little Razzy dfhjjgd he’s in for a shock XP)

Dove: why wouldn’t you WANT them to be permanent?  
Razz: I have lived my whole life without wings; and my home isn’t even set up to deal with anything this size on my back all the time. Removable is best!  
Chitter: .... I can ask Undyne to bring m-my nerve gear experiments overs.... p-perhaps a backpack that has the mechanisms to act as secondary shoulder blades.... Chitter gets to drawing and texting her GF.*  
Dove: In the meantime! Let’s cook and find you some bubble wrap!  
Razz: What was that about bubble wrap?!  
Dove: NOTHING!

Swap House:  
Slim: *On the verge of slumping to the floor in sadness.*  
Comic: Your brother was tough, even when he was acting crazy in that fevered state. Sides, there’s a 50/50 chance he ended up in a Tale verse. In which case I’d be more worried about the locals’ safety then his.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: ..... I mean, there's not a lot of data to back that up but sure!  
Comic: *A look at Red.*  
Red: .... what? You have a small sample size!

Bird World:  
Razz: ... I mean, my apartment won't be able to handle permanent wings, let alone my job!  
Dove: Oh? What do you do?  
Razz: Fire fighter. The military hasn't allowed monsters yet.  
Dove: WOW! That's so Awesome!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Dove: That will be SUPER helpful during cooking this morning! The kitchen always catches on fire and I can’t figure out why.  
Razz: Oh Christ on a stick. Let’s see you in action then, and I’ll be able to assess what’s going wrong.  
Dove: YOU GOT IT *Cranks the burners on full, massive flames shooting out of it.*

Swap House:  
Comic: Statistically speaking, there are an infinite number of universes, and at least half of those have to be Tale verses. Your brother will be fine.  
*Edge slapped Red in the back of the head before he could say more.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: HEY! *Rubs his head.* Jus saying... Why does the sugar sweet universes get to be the common one...  
Axe: *Finished pancakes.* I mean ... you’re two out of five for nice known universes. Not that Red is all good right now.  
Edge: NOT HELPING AXE.

Bird World:  
Razz: *Saves the house from damage* ..... step one. Forget Undyne’s tips.  
Dove: But-  
Razz: No Undyne I have come across can cook worth a damn.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Completely takes apart the burners and pulls out Undyne’s modifications. (They are easy to spot.)*  
Razz: Step number two, decide what we are cooking, because we should never leave the burner on while we are prepping the food. What did you have in mind?  
Dove: SPAGHETTI AND GARLIC BREAD!  
Razz:.... yeah sure, breakfast spaghetti, why the hell not.

Swap House:  
Comic: Yours isn’t a true Fellverse though, Axe. Their world's had been kill or be killed since they were born, yours became bad later on. So technically we are three for two in favor of Taleverses.  
Rus: ABSOLUTELY! Besides, if Stretch can talk his way out of a bad situation with Axe and Traps, your brother will have no problems!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Razz: It wouldn't be the first time, and it definitely won't be the last time. Is this an egg based sauce, cinnamon roll themed, or just regular spaghetti but in the morning?  
Dove: The third one.  
Razz: Please don't punch the tomatoes.  
Alphys: Oh.... um... can you tell me more about your universe?

Swap House:  
Slim: *Is still worried. Razz is known for losing his temper though...* (Buddy, Razz is giving no shits rn)  
Rus: He is very good at surviving! I'm sure he is fine!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Slim, I need help preparing gear for the trek into this new world, and I could use your help gathering supplies. Could you assist in searching the house for the necessities? If there is anything missing we can run out and buy it.  
Slim: ..... y-yeah, sure. *Stands up and shuffles out of the kitchen still looking miserable. *  
Edge: What? Stop staring at me like that! It’s obvious our methods to cheer him up weren’t helping, so I instigated the distraction method!

Bird World:  
*Razz speaks while deftly slicing tomatoes with a kitchen knife like this is no sweat at all.*  
Razz: Hmmmm.... What else can I say? I fought my version of Alphys in a duel to determine whom the next Guard Captain would be, since she wouldn’t just back off after Captain Gaster died. Brought my Underground into a state of semi-peace.... if you call no all-out gang wars peace.  
Dove: The dough is kneading! Are you sure I shouldn’t bang it against a wall?  
Razz: Yes, I am positive.  
*Chitter vigorously takes notes.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Chitter needs the backstory for her fanfiction.)

Razz: Treat the dough like cats do. My Undyne is the scientist. Careful if you're on the receiving end of her new experiments. She doesn't have the highest survival rates. And the Queen stayed while the king left.

Swap House:  
......  
Edge: So... Comic, do you need Red to help with the repairs?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XD ohhhhhh and I thought she would genuinly use it for science dfhjff)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(She can use research for many projects)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(True fkcjfkdk)

Bird World:  
Chitter: Fascinating..... and what would you say your hobbies are?  
Razz: You’ve been getting pretty personal with those questions. What is this, Taleverse speed dating?  
Chitter: *Hard blush.* N-n-n-no!! I need to know this to.... compare the differences between you and our Sans! Yes! How your world contributes to your likes and dislikes. ALSO! Are you a cat or dog person?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... would a .... small overview do? I don't know every difference, this universe seems to be most like Undertale. It’s mostly like this one, but no wings or talons. And the monsters don't live in giant trees. Just regular houses.... my universe is more violent, my personality is more like Papyrus here, my little brother is more like Sans. ..... I have a cat named Lord Hater.  
Chitter: *Furious scribbling.* What other universes do you know!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Uhhhhhh.... there’s the Fell version of Undertale, like yours, but no wings and everything is kill or be killed. The nice, lovey version of my world is called Underswap, and a recently discovered one that we’ve only known for a few days.... I don’t think we have a name for that one yet. Honestly, I’m not even sure if it’s a Fellverse or not.... just that the Papyrus has horrible jagged teeth and the Sans a serious head wound.  
Chitter: *Smoke is practically coming off her paper.* Now for a more awkward question, you don’t have to a-answer.  
Razz: *Instructs Dove on how to boil the noodles.* Go for it.  
Chitter: W-what is your l-love life like?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Not existent thank you very much! I am not interested at all! Whatever weird stuff relationship people do. *Shudders.*  
Chitter: What about the ... um... others?  
Razz: I know Edge said he was ace and Stretch is a filthy deviant! And Edge’s brother is very gross too! What even is ace anyway? (Aw... poor innocent Razzy)  
Chitter: O-OMG!  
Burb: .... uh. Alph? Wanna go back to questions that might help if the other skelies drop outta the sky?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro it’s like flashbacks to myself thinking there was a screw loose until I learned what ace was in college fkgkglf it’s not talked about enough imao)

Chitter: THIS IS IMPORTANT! I-I mean... a-ace just mean your preference is to n-not have a preference, or just lack interest in sex at all.  
Razz: Hmph. Yes that sounds exactly like me.  
*Chitter already throwing that fact away for her fanfic, because non romance stories are boring to her apparently.*  
Dove: Noodles are tender!  
Razz: Pour all the water out over the strainer.  
Burb: I got one. When I came in contact with ya, you didn’t attack right away, though you say that’s the norm in your world. Can we expect the same from the others?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Same! I was like.... what the heck are you talking about? It's just a guy??? .... oof... Ink Sans is Canon aro ace and that fact is often tossed out.)

Razz: Yes... well... I was recovering from a fever and pretty much just done. If they are red they are more likely to fight. And be assholes.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude like the amount of peeps that would say something like how fine someone looked, and I could Aesthetically agree not much else, but the amount of “you don’t want to spend your whole life alone” narrative pushed out was stressful)  
(Huh, and here I thought Ink was in a relationship with Error given all their art together. That’s neat though!)

Burb: So the ones with the red magic are the ones to look out for?  
Razz: If you happen to see one it’s probably best to get me to handle them. You don’t want to have anyone engage, especially since we don’t need an accidental bloodbath. Also the other one with purple magic is my brother. I’m not sure what to expect from him. I would say be cautious until you can assure him you aren’t a threat and I’m alive and well. Everyone else is like dealing with kittens.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yes that person looks okay, .... is that your basis for determining a life partner? And damn even in high school the locker room girls would ask if I'm gay because I didn't want one of the 10ish boys in our year that got passed round like the only pen to sign a petition)  
( I love me an Ink and Error, but nope. Canon Ink is aro ace, but loves new feelings so would probably try a relationship at some point, and Error is a manbaby with a bad perception of reality.)

Razz: Tiny tiny kittens that will only scratch at pain of death. My brother will either go in guns blazing or timid like. Oh. It's unlikely Axe or Traps would come, but just stay a good distance from any pre-injury skeletons...... I'd say the Judges are the more likely to attack as backwards as that is.  
Burb: Huh. Oh hey how'd you get here anyway?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDD I guess I lucked out being the quiet artistic one in high school)(Awwww, idk if Error is really that screwed up with his perceptions, could he even give consent for a relationship? The questions I come up with)

Dove: IT'S DONE!  
Razz: Thank stars I can eat! Anyway, it all started when that SLUT ruined the integrity of my tools with his filth! I used the interdimensional travel machine and.... it didn’t take me where I wanted to go.  
Burb: Interfimensional travel machine?  
Razz: Yeah, don’t you guys have one?

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Error is the poster child for why people shouldn't be locked in a white abyss for a undisclosed amount of time, along with memory loss, tantrums, haphephobia, and hearing voices. ..... he also has five tongues and eats the wrapper along with the chocolate bar)

Chitter: Uh-um ... w-who?  
Razz: Those tools are not for his pleasure and he allowed that filth to taint them!  
Dove: Wowie! This is the best I've ever done!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yeah I don’t think I could ethically ship someone like that in a romantic setting. Maybe friendship with lots of hug therapy buts that’s about it gngdddg)

Razz: I told you! Never follow any Undyne’s cooking advice! And my devices and skills in the art of torture are NOT meant for someone’s sexual pleasure!!! That’s just disrespectful and disgusting!  
Dove: Hurry and grab a plate everyone!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Error is actually pretty... ok in his own sense? he isn't bat shit crazy... just his own brand. The fanon error is usually less insane and most use the god concept of Error being forced to destroy instead of his misguided quest to only have undertale be the only universe, I personally like the queer platonic versions)

Burb: ...... torture?  
Razz: One of the ways I made my living. I am quite good at it!  
Chitter: .......*leather?...... semi-violent? ...... torture? ......omg BDSM!*  
Burb: *Takes a bite* .....whoa.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Platonic relations in writing and fanon are my jam to begin with lol (the amount of times I’ve caved and read some uncomfortable fontcest because I was starved for certain AU’s (Damn few Swap-fell stuff)..... ecto-pregnancy stuff still makes me shudder))

Razz: True torture has nothing to do with sexual pleasure!!! It’s about degloving the skin from a monster that has it, covering their exposed muscle with salt and letting the goats lick them clean! Or discovering the best method to cause indescribable amounts of pain to monsters of different physiology! Why do people get turned on by it!!! I’ve cut the tongues from monsters' mouths for Christ sake!!!!  
Chitter: *That’s less attractive... ewww.... she will ignore that fact when, in her fanfic, Dove wants to try getting kinky and-*  
Dove: Alphys, your getting that look again.  
Chitter: EEP!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I just imagine her doing a lil cheep there. And I get that so hard. There is a few first I have read that have great stories but is like half porn and dammit just let me have the relationships! 300,000 words and I just want the relationships! Omg There's this fic that just updated called AVA and I swear it’s so damn funny)  
Chitter: *Quickly eats some spaghetti.* Oh! Papyrus this is really good! *Dove could be the kinky housewife!!!*  
Dove: ..... Alphys please not at the table.  
Razz: Torture is about causing the most pain while not making your victim pass out!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I remember this awesome Underswap surface fic that I was really enjoying, and then it got these huge porn elements like “bro why does he have both anatomy parts at the same time that needs relief?!?!” There was soooooo much skimming in that story... can’t say I’ve read Ava yet lol)

Razz: Do you know how long it took me to learn how to torture a 1 HP monster without them dusting! Now THAT IS A SIGN OF SKILL MASTERY!  
Burb: *Sweating a bit.* Huh, that’s.... nice.  
*Door slams open.*  
Ace: ALPHYS! I BROUGHT YOUR STUFF!!!! *Drops her backpack at seeing Razz awake and sober.*  
Ace: YOU!!!! FIGHT ME!!!!!  
Razz: If you foolishly wish to challenge me, so be it. Before we fight though, join us for breakfast.  
*Burb is happy the conversation is finally off of torture.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(It's great and has its own crazy little take on the multiverse.... and like a good 8 to 10 chapters with swapfell sans getting a good spotlight. Has humor like we have in here, like sexual humor, it always makes me laugh and it has 90 chapters)

Razz: Will you be using aerial techniques or just ground maneuvers? Or keeping the element of surprise? Is this to the death or within an HP goal? Magic or physical only?  
Ace: *Getting more excited the more questions Razz asks.*  
(I should say adult humor)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay, you officially have me curious. Is this the right one? There are a couple of the same name)

https://archiveofourown.org/bookmarks/586833214

***  
Bookwyrm  
Yes!  
(I also love bitty bones, but dangit why do so many have sex in them!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Sweet! Imma check it out then ^^)  
(DUDE THE BITTY BONES THING IS SO TRUE!!!!! Like why do they breed like they do?! Were they normal sized skeletons originally? Why do they gotta be helpless guinea pigs?!?! I got so tired of it I even tried my own version, but doing your own is never as fun as the suspense from someone else’s story hjjfda. I JUST WANT CUTE TINY SKELETONS BEING ADORABLE without screwing each other constantly)

Ace: TO THE DEATH!!!!!  
Chitter: Undyne no! HP goal please. I don’t want anyone dusting today. (If Razz dies it would ruin her fanfic)  
Ace: Fiiiiiine. But yes on everything else! Aerial techniques! Magic AND physical! I want to go ALL OUT!!!  
Razz: *Finishing off his plate, satisfied to have his magic replenished at long last.*  
Ace: DANG PAP THIS SPAGHETTI IS GREAT!!!  
Dove: Why thank you! Razz helped me!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I think the original storyline for the bitty bones universe is that humans used the dust found in an empty Underground to make commercial sentient pets,and tweaking the 'product' in testing to make the different types)  
(Also ....I love Mr. Sleeper so much! He is in AVA)

Undyne: DUDE YOU JUST GET COOLER AND COOLER!  
Razz: Is there an area on the ground for me to fight on?  
Unydne: There is a field not far from here.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(So they got the dust of Sans and Papyrus.... explains why they aren’t in hardly any of the Bittybones stories lol)

Chitter: While you are doing that I can finish up the backpack mechanism for Razz’s wings (and plot the storyline for the recovery fanfic where Razz is badly hurt and must be nurses to health by Dove, the two falling for eachother in the proce-)  
Dove: Please don’t be TOO rough with him Undyne! He’s so small. *Doesn’t want his baby Sans snapped in half.*  
Razz: I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT SMALL! I’M JUST SCARRED UP AND ANGRY!!!  
Ace: SCAR COMPETITION AFTER THE FIGHT! YES!!!! *Grabs Razz under the arms.* I'M TOO EXCITED LETS DO THIS! *Drags him out the door with the other skeletons following.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yeah, it's most stories that probably forgot that little detail .... I think there are some monsters still around but the main characters aren't usually. I do find it hilarious when its a Sans or Papyrus vs the bitty form tho)  
Razz: *Growling.* ASK BEFORE YOU DO THAT I COULD HAVE STABBED YOU!  
Ace: I gotta get you to the ground somehow! *Cradling Razz.*  
Razz: DO YOU HAVE TO HOLD ME LIKE THAT!?!  
Ace: YEAH! YOU ARE ADORABLE!  
Razz: I AM NOT ADORABLE

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Imma stick with my headcanon where Alphys makes a cloning machine and the skeletons get up to their shenanigans and clone themselves, then they ALL get to live fjdnrkmf. It’s more fun when they all cause havoc)

Ace: BWAHAHAHHA! Adorable AND hilarious! You just keep getting better and better!  
Razz: I WILL STAB YOU TILL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!!!!  
*Comes to a landing in the field, spectator skeletons picking a spot on the sidelines. Burb is curious, Dove worried for his fragile scarred up tiny Sans.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: .... Undyne! Dont hurt him too badly if you do hit him! I want to be able to have him ready for flight training!  
Razz: to 100 HP? That sound reasonable?  
Undyne: LET'S DO THIS- *Ducks from a bone shot at her.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Woooo, it’s been a while since I wrote a good fight scene. Let’s go!)

Ace: *Charged with a dozen spears summoned behind her, doing a barrel roll in the air to distract him and throwing them forward.*  
Razz: *Blocks with a bone wall, summoning two bone swords in his hands and meeting her spear head on deflecting the blow.*  
Ace: *Tries to push him back with the force of her wings. He stands strong.*  
Razz: *Parrying her blow and using the force of her wind to jump back and gain some space, summoning a dozen bones above Ace and bringing them down.*  
Ace: *Dodges the attacks, summoning her own attack of spears from below.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Almost dancing as he slips inches away from the spears, not because they almost hit him but to preserve distance and stamina. He launches bones aiming for her wings to try and ground her.*  
Ace: *Sacrifices height for speed in a dive to try and overwhelm Razz with upclose heavy attacks before peeling away to gain it back.*  
Razz: *Throws more attacks at Ace as her back is to him. She flaps hard to get more air.*

(Oh! Also if your looking for a cute relationship fic there's a mer fic starring the undertale multiverse skeletons plus others called Hey There, Angel Fins by docemoon145 that has absolutely adorable relationships has kustard and octopus cuddles, skippable sex times)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(OHHHH FIC SUGGESTIONS!!!! I’m always on the lookout for nonsmut/skippable stuff so I’ll be checking those out! I’ll let you know if I can remember any good ones to link you in return)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Red is a giant ass octo 4x the size of tiny fish sans)  
(The CUDDLES)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: *Does another barrel roll narrowly managing to dodge his onslaught. Flips around with a massive toothy smile, Turning Razz’s soul green trapping him in place.*  
Ace: LET’S SEE HOW WELL YOU BLOCK! NYEHHHHH! *Launches a barrage of several dozen spears from alternating directions.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: FINALLY SOMETHING TO STRETCH ON! *Blocks every hit, watching Ace gain height as he does, watching for the moment she starts her dive. He had noticed the hawk wings and guessed she would favor diving unlike possibly the other birds.*  
Ace: *Believing Razz to be completely focused on her projectiles, adjust her position to aim for Razz’s back for her strike.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: *While Razz is fully turned around, she dives, speed increasing greatly right as she pulls up to deliver her massive blow.*  
Razz: *Time seems to slow, the two locking eyes for a moment, Razz’s sharp smirk increases to a massive grin, turning her soul blue at the last second and sending her careening away from him and into the dirt, making a nice mud rut in her path.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace: *Is stunned from the impact for a minute.*(  
Razz: *Takes advantage of the moment and summons many bones to stab at Ace, taking heavy slashes to her HP.*  
Ace: *Once mildly aware, flaps for the sky.*  
Razz: *Uses blue magic to once again violently ground her.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: YOU’RE REALLY DEAD SET ON GROUND COMBAT!  
Razz: Don’t forget, you’re the one that started it!  
Ace: *Pings his soul green again, using her wings to kick off in a zig zagged formation launching more and more spears as quickly as she could. She sacrificed power for numbers.*  
Razz: *Blocks for the most part, a few slipping past his parries and chipping off a bit of HP. It made his adrenaline pulse and magic flare with excitement.*  
Ace: *Kicks off the ground, summoning a circular pattern of spears around her body to distract him.*  
Razz: *Moves to yank her sideways with his blue magic, not seeing the spear hidden behind her body until it made contact with his shoulder. He was too distracted by the ones surrounding her.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Silencing a groan from the pain, eyelights sharpening at the slight challenge. Winged opponents were rare or didn’t exist in his universe, and not at Aces size at that. He has to really focus to not be distracted by the wings as they move and make noise.*  
Ace: HA! GOTCHA-OH SHIT!  
Razz: *Using a bone platform to spring off, jumps with his twin swords ready to stab deeply into her, a vicious sharp grin on his face.*

Burb: Sheesh, am I glad he didn't try to fight me when I found him.  
Chitter: *Furious note taking and Ace appreciation.*  
Dove: Sans look at that form! I thought he would have a harder time not having wings to fight with!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: *Summons a spear barely parrying his attack in time.*  
Razz: *Eager to test her close-combat skills, uses his blue magic to keep her grounded where he wants her.*  
Ace: *Snarling, she barely manages to match Razz’s speed and ferocity, only able to block while his swords come fast and rapidly, all movements like a well choreographed dance. Screaming she summons several spears from the ground, not to stab him but limit his movements enough to let her move into offensive fighting.*  
Razz: *Blocks and weaves as her spear spins and jabs, swords scraping and pushing her spear aside when they got too close to his face. She was starting to get a bit frustrated by his dodging.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Deciding to get a little fancy, willingly grabs onto a rising spear to flip over Ace and stab her in the back right between the wing joints, kicking her away to wretch the swords out.*  
Ace NYAAAAAAAAGH! YOU LITTLE STABBY BASTARD!

Burb: .... oof. *Rubbing at his back in phantom sympathy pain.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: *Snarls, eye glinting with a new idea. Summoning her spears just underneath the dirt around Razz in a horizontal direction, spinning them parallel shoveling the dirt into the air right in Razz’s field of vision.*  
Razz: *Taken a bit off guard by the dirt, he tries to swipe it out of his sockets, noticing Ace wasn’t in front of him anymore.*  
Ace: *Getting behind him while his vision is obstructed, charges forward and grabs him by the neck vertebrae while he is slashing with a sword. She willingly takes a stab to the arm just to get him off the ground and lift him high into the air where he wouldn’t have any way of maneuvering.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is not appreciating the lift, legs lock around Ace’s arm and shoulder, and starts shredding her arm with his claws like the world's most pissed off cat. Eyelights glowing harshly, even getting his jaws on a lil fleshy bit of her forearm as her grip is not high enough to stop a tooth or two from grazing her.*  
Ace: ARRRRRRRGH FUCK!  
Razz: *Is getting close to making Ace hit the HP goal. He is growling very loud.*


	16. Two Aces Write Possible Foreplay Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chitter makes things get steamy here boys. this is what you get when two aces try to write something spicy. ALSO. Spelling humor. its funy. Razz learns to spread his wings.

HomeHawk12  
Ace: *Gets them at least 900 feet in the air, drops him and circles tightly to gain some distance and prepare her final strike.*  
Razz: *Starts free falling, knowing he’s basically at her mercy now. Unless...*  
Ace: NYEHHHHHH!!!! *Dives down as fast as she’s ever dived, one spear in each hand aimed right for his chest. She’s approaching quickly, she is on course-*  
Razz: *Pings his own soul blue at the last second, slowing his fall enough to make her trajectory miss its target. It was too late for her to correct. He kicks off of her spear as she whizzes by, finding some inspiration from humans surfers for his next experimental move. He summons a blaster and balances on its head.*

(Also Razz is just an angry ass cat and I love it dnfngkl)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(He doesn't have the time to completely and gracefully out match an opponent he hasn't even fought someone similar in style to her, the angry kitty he is.)

Razz: *Uses the blaster to lower himself at a hover, not charging a blast as that would cause too much damage to Ace. He is debating whether he could get the blaster to carry him at any speed-*  
Ace: *Flaps up to the cat of a skeleton to stab at Razz.* DAMMIT THAT’S FUCKING COOL! A DRAGON HEAD?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Forgets his elaborate plan of attack at her distraction, summoning three bones directly behind her and striking. She didn’t even realize their presence until they had already sunken deep, bringing her to the 100 HP goal.*  
Ace: OUCH!!!!! *She hisses, realizing she had been bested, by someone with no wings.*  
Burb: Oh thank god no one died.  
Dove: *His jaw is practically falling off realizing his hero and mentor just lost.*  
Chitter: *Stutters in disbelief, her recovery fanfic idea ruined.*  
Razz: *Smirking, he attempts to ride his blaster all the way down, unable to get it going much faster while he’s on top of it. Leaning forward he can slightly increase speed, but it’s no substitute for Ace’s flying agility and speed.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is like a little old tractor to the sleek car that Ace is)

Dove: *Holding monster candy:* OH MY GOD THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro he totally is XD I think he can get it going faster if he’s running along side it. Maybe giving Slim or Blue a ride lmao)

Chitter: Y-you beat Undyne! I-I-I can’t believe you beat Undyne!!! *He just became a much broader skeleton in her fanfic interpretation. So strong and muscly without the muscle. Big boned-*  
Razz: *Hops off his blaster and lands on the ground softly. Undyne landing and approaching him.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace: Damn man you shredded my arm! That would've been really bad if you got a wing in your claws.  
Razz: Doing that while it was unknown if I could save myself from the resulting firewall and impact would have been foolish.  
Ace: That dragon skull is fucking rad!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Yes, they are pretty “rad” as you like to say. I will admit you proved an exciting challenge for me. You are the first areal combatant I’ve face.  
Dove: Small Sans, you did wonderful! *Scoops him off the ground before he realizes what’s happening and spins him around in a hug.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Hey! Unhand me! Put me down! *The struggle is real.* I am not small!  
Dove: *Little flutter wing hugs and a few chirps.* YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!  
Ace: Cute but deadly!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: Heh, alright bro, I think it’s time to put him down now. *Slightly nervous chuckle, now knowing the type of murder machine Razz can be and recognizing his short fuse.*  
Chitter: I-I still can’t believe you took on Undyne, without wings no less.  
Razz: Why is everyone so obsessed with wings here!? You guys treat it like a crippling disability. I’m not blind or paralyzed you know!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: Here it i-is a disability. You can't get to t-the buildings on y-your own...  
Razz: That’s just wrong, what if you had a low stamina monster? Or one with some kind of condition that’s painful? In fact, having wings would make my job extra difficult back home (Good thing Slim had called Razz off for major illness, saying he would need a week to get over it)  
Dove: Usually a family member or a Royal Guardsman would help them. *Ignoring his brother’s warning and snuggle hugging Razz closer, wrapping wings around him.*  
Razz: What?!? I can't see lemme go!  
Ace: Dude, you could be like so sneaky, the enemy not knowing how much of a bad ass you are until it's too late!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: You do realize wings have been the minority trait in the multiverse so far, right? You guys would struggle getting through the buildings and such in any other world!  
Dove: You’ll just have to take us there soon and show us!  
Razz: If I can ever get back home, then perhaps. 

(I totally forgot about his job and the implications of him missing XD I like to think he sent a selfie of himself and a very sick, fevered sleepy Razz possibly in the space onesie saying he’s so sick he let me do that without complaint, and there just like “Oh hell he must be dying! Take all the time he need”)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is gonna be pissed once he learns his boss has a picture of him in a space onesie, looking tiny as he is cuddled next to two trees called Papyrus, aka Slim and Edge)

Razz: *Struggles his way out of the floofy hug prison.* Speaking of other universes, you wouldn't happen to have a machine left to you, would you Burb?  
Burb: Yeah, but I never got it working.  
Razz: .... damm. Well, I am not the one that fixed the machine in my universe. But I am sure that they will realize it soon enough... probably... In the mean time! We can work on nicknames! Everyone usually gets a nickname either based on the unique, for them, traits like color, personality, appearance, or job/skills. I didn't choose mine so I got Razz. Might want to choose yours before one sticks that you don't like.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: Well, we already figured out my nickname the other night.  
Razz: What?  
Burb: Oh yeah, heh, you were kind of drunk. I said Bird, but ya slurred it to Burb and I kind of like that.  
Razz: *Barely manages to keep his blush under control.*

(Oh yeah, he’s gonna be feeling the ultimate betrayal while Edge tries defending himself saying he was adamant on finding something more appropriate)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... you-you don't have to use that as a name! *Is starting to fail at controlling his blush.*  
Burb: I like it. It's cute. *Wink.*  
Ace: I COULD BE JET! OR UM STRIKER! OR OR AERIAL ACE!  
Chitter: Oh gosh. Oh, um, I-I could be, oh, I don't know?  
Razz: I think chitter would work for you  
Chitter: *Proceeds to actually chitter for a minute or two.*  
Dove: I DONT KNOW…

(Everyone thinks the berries are cute. Gotta flirt with the berries)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god all these lazy Sanses are thirsty and flirty XD)

Razz: Yeah. Chitter. Also, Aerial Ace will work for you Undyne, given the skill you just showed me. I’d say you’ve earned that nickname.  
Ace: NYEH!!!! I’m AWESOME!  
Burb: I don’t know bro, you’ve been doting on Razz all lovey-dovy like. *Snickers.*  
Chitter: Y-you have dove wings, right? That could be a good fit.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: OR MAYBE THE GREAT PAPYRUS.  
Razz: I know two great Papyruses.  
Dove: ....I! CAN'T COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN DOVE THEN.  
Chitter: Doves symbolize peace, Papyrus! It's perfect!  
Dove: Sans you could be Raven!  
Burb: Ravens are bearers of omens, usually bad ones Pap. I think I'm good with Burb.  
Dove: The only bearer you are is of bad puns!

(It’s just so great to get reactions out of the excitable personalities. And you can't flirt with your brother.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(True ghjkhfd Why not flirt with himself then, not as weird as with a version of his brother lol)

Razz: Good, that's one thing settled. Now to figure out what to do about that machine.  
Burb: It’s still in the old basement Underground. That's already a trek and a half. Too heavy to move to our current house though. We can only fly and carry so much.  
Chitter: Oh! This w-whole thing has given me great ideas for the wing mechanism. I'm going to go finish it! *Then start on her newest fanfic chapter on how the broken, war worn Razz finally found hope again in the company of Dove, learning to love again and then decides to come in one day in the kinky maid outfit…*  
Razz: *Whispers to Dove.* Uhhhhh... what’s with that look on her face? And why is she shuffling like that?  
Dove: She’s been doing that a lot since you got here. I'm still not sure.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .... forgive me if this is insensitive, but is that, like, a bird thing? To fidget like that?  
Dove: No.... no it isn't.  
Razz: ... I haven't met any scientist Alphys myself so I didn't want to assume.

(Chitter really wants the maid outfit. Maybe it’s the only outfit that a wingless soldier can put on to save what little modesty he has?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(shit as soon as I read that modesty thing I just busted out laughing! Like, the mental gymnastics people do to justify that kind of stuff is too real I'm done) (I'm sorry I had to do this)

Inside Chitter’s Mind:  
Razz: *Dark, alone, and brooding at the top of a large tree seriously contemplating jumping and ending it all. He is a war worn soldier after all, trapped in a world that doesn't understand him being grounded while everyone else soars above the clouds. Laughing at his disability.*  
Dove: Senpai!? There you are! *A very broad chested Dove lands on the branch behind him in a radiating light, wearing a toga that completely shows off his broad sexy rib cage.*  
Razz: *his scarred, extremely manly ribcage is also in full view. He is only wearing his pants and combat boots.* It is no use my Love, things will never be right. I am not right. You would be better off without me.  
Dove: No! *Tried to rush in and hug him, but he is pushed away.*  
Razz: Without me, you won't be a laughing stock anymore. Dating someone like me, stuck on the ground? I am literally holding you down. *Dove holds his face, softly stroking it.*  
Dove: There is one thing left we can try. We will show them how true our love really is.  
Razz: A-are you sure? This could make or break us.  
Dove: I know, but I love you too much to let this go. *Scoups the soldier into his arms, and bridal carries him black to their bedroom. Two maid outfits are on display surrounded by rose petals and candles.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitters Mind Even Further:  
Razz: *Gasp!* I couldn't dare dirty your beautiful dresses like this, I am too tainted by dust and LV!  
Dove: *Leans down to the shorter soldier, and whispers to him softly while stroking the deep scratches around Razz’s socket down to the rough ribs that need his love so dearly.* These dresses were made to get dirty, my Love. Won’t you let me see how beautiful you are?

Real Life Bird World:  
Chitter: *Fangirl nosebleed and excited chirps.*  
Razz: ...... Dove, I think you're Alphys is broken....  
Dove: Yes... well, I am no expert in fixing that....  
Burb: ...... Alphys? Why are you looking all weird at Razz? .......OH.

Chitter Fic:  
*Suddenly as the manly soldier finally puts the last bit of the outfit on, a devilish, handsome, jet black rogue spies the heavenly savior and soldier's intimacy...... set to steal the coveted prize from the angel of a skeleton.*  
(Chitter is even thirstier than any lazy Sans)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Holy shit I'm dying this is amazing XDDDD Is this how people write foreplay I have no idea dnfllfndn)

Bird World:  
Dove: Let’s, uhhhhhh, go elsewhere shall we? Maybe buy groceries or something?  
Razz: What? Why?  
Dove: GROCERIES!!!! *Grabs Razz under the arms despite his protest, wanting to get as FAR away from fanfic Alphys as he could.*  
Ace: Come on, let's finish Razz’s wings so I can fight him in TRUE AERIAL COMBAT!!!! *Scoops Alphys off the ground and flies towards the skeleton house. Chitter is still fantasizing.*

Oh God Chitter Why:  
Razz: *Can’t stop a manly blush at seeing how radiant Dove is in the matching outfit. He conjures a tongue and starts licking his sharp teeth, unable to resist.*  
Razz: You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.  
Dove: *Scoops his soldier back into his arms and whispers sweet nothings into his ear hole.*  
Dove: You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Don't you ever doubt that. *Rubs Razz around the hip, earning a sensual moan of pleasure.*

*The angelic skeleton sees the shadow of the rogue while Razz is moving in to chew on the lace choker around his neck.*  
Dove: NO! *The rogue strikes to kill, his dark solder twisting in the way to take the blow for him.*

(God damn if the rogue in her fantasies is Burb I'm gonna die laughing sffhhhkk)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(It’s totally Burb. And I am calling this Two Aces Write Possible Foreplay Fantasy. I have no idea, I am just thinking of those stereotypes on dime store novels.)

Bird World:  
Razz: *Is not liking being held like a large cat by a toddler.* Will you all stop picking me up without telling me!?!  
(Razz is starting to get used to it from not only bird tale but the other universes too, doesn't mean he likes it tho)  
Dove: OH. *Adjust the hold to more like a toddler on a hip.* Is this better?  
Razz: .......marginally....  
Burb: Aww~ It’s a good flight to get to the Underground. You better hold on tight. *Launches into the sky.*

Real Bird House:  
Ace: Alph! Come on come on come ooooon! I wanna fight him in the air soooo bad! The sooner he flies the sooner he can train and get to aerial combat!  
Chitter: *Is in fantasy heaven.*

Chitter’s Mind:  
*The blow glances off the savior’s ribs, barely grazing him, the identity of the rogue is seen through the candle light.*  
Dove: Brother?! How could you!?!  
Razz: *Swoons.* Dove, my Love... are you injuried?  
(Dude yer a soldier like do something)  
Burb: *Shadows accenting his smooth features and making his wings seemingly made of darkness.* I have waited too long to claim Razz as mine! I have no reputation to keep, and I can treat him sweeter than you! Come my scarred soldier, I can keep your inner demons at bay.  
Razz: *Is dizzy from the sheer want in these two strapping angels, one of light and one of darkness.* How can I choose between you when I deserve neither?  
Burb: I couldn't stand hiding back after I saw how lovely you are in that outfit. Let me take off with you, my scarred Venus.

(Chitter is throwing canon out the window)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Just letting you know if you wanna publish whatever mess we come up with on AO3 you have my full permission, you can even call it that XD Not gonna lie that's what I'm doing fjkfkf)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude I might throw this up on AO3 and just edit out any personal bits if there are any that don't pertain the the story here)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Darnit I can't find the video! It was a 50 Shades parody this was reminding me of and it ended in a dick jousting competition (just two “family friendly bars” coming from their speedos) that's what this reminds me of fjdndks)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I have many many fics like that on AO3)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Sinking Further into Fantasy:  
Burb: I do have something you don't have brother, something that no amount of practice can earn you. *Whips out manacles attached to a long chain, throwing it long and hooking it around Razz’s arm.*  
razz: *Blushes.* W-what is this?  
(Dammit Razz you’re a soldier stop being an anime pushover)  
Burb: I have experience and wisdom that my brother lacks, in the darker side of pleasure. Come with me and I can do things to you that will make you beg like a dog for more. *Whip comes out from behind his back, snapping it to make his eyelights glint with dark desires.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I might make a fic with all our comment lines for your story)  
(Chitter having Burb be literal sin while Dove be all soft touches and Razz be a blushing bride)

Razz: *Major blush.* Oh God, how could I choose?  
Burb: There is no choice, I will sweep you off your feet and carry you off!  
Dove: BROTHER NO! I HAVE A BETTER SOLUTION! *Light shines off Dove’s pure white wings.* We can both make our darling soldier feel the best he ever has! I have an extra outfit in case the one Razz has wasn't able to match his beauty!

(Chitter no. Stop. Bad lizard)

Real Bird House:  
Ace: ... Alph? ... you ok?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(lol go for it. The adventures of “Bake”King and his flamethrower needs spreading jnfgn)

Chitter’s Nasty Desires:  
*Dove brings out the supposed third outfit, Burb dropping the chains in shock.*  
Dove: We can both keep him safe, make sure he is always loved, and satisfy him every night. Together, we shall be the greatest husbandos anyone could ask for. *He offers the outfit forward. Burb changing in front of both of them. His short curvy form was exaggerated by the lacy ruffles of his dress, making him absolutely irresistible to the other skeletons. They both pounced like animals, dragging Burb onto the mattress with them.*

(Chitter! That’s incest stapppp)

Real Bird House:  
Ace: hey Asgore! Sorry to call for a question like this, but I think my girlfriend is having a stroke.

(I found the video XDDDD !!!!)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qZLrC7Ot4

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude I dunno why I find adult humor so damn funny but I'm wheezing)

Chitter: The- omg the yaoi..... OMG. *Nosebleed thickens.*  
Ace: She keeps muttering about whatever yaoi is  
Asgore  
(If the Royals are snowy owls ..... the scientific name for snowies is Bubo scandiacus, he can be Bubo)  
BT Asgore: .....what did you say?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(dude adult humor is my favorite kind XD Bubo! That’s pretty cute actually lgjklugs)

Bubo: and you say shaking her and yelling is doing nothing?  
Ace: NO! She's SCARING ME! She's rubbing her knees together and shivering and I don't want her to die!!!  
Bubo: Hmmmmmm... okay, I have a solution.

Chitter’s Screwed up Yaoi:  
*Razz is chained to the bed, blushing profusely while Burb and Dove make out with each other turning up the heat in the room. Both of the brothers turns their attention to Razz, pulling his legs apart to expose his secret garden and-*

*SPLASH*

Bird House:  
*Ace dumps a big bucket of cold water on Chitter, the lizard jumping and sputtering.*  
Chitter: WAH! WHO?! WHERE’s THE FIRE!!!!??  
Ace: Hey it worked!!!! Asgore WAS right about the water!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Secret garden is a polite term for Bush, pfffft hehehehe)

Chitter: .....Undyne, I need my computer or a notepad right now.  
Ace: *This is the most serious she's ever heard Chitter for*.... for the artificial wings?  
Chitter: For the OT3.  
Ace: ....um. I.... got a shift to watch for falling cripples....to do.... are… you going to be ok-  
Chitter: I’m the best I've ever been.

Razz: *Is a grumpy baby on Dove’s hip, Burb’s spare goggles on his skull* ..... are we there yet?

Underswap House:  
Slim: *Pokes Comic.* Are you done yet?  
Comic: No Slim, I still have a bit to do.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: *Puppy dog whimper.*  
Red: OW! F@&K!!! *Pulls away from a smoking electrical panel.*  
Comic: ... yeah, you might wanna watch a movie or something.

Bird House:  
Chitter: *Red as a tomato and typing furiously on the computer Ace dropped off before bailing.*  
Chitter: Outline is done!!!! What was I supposed to be doing again? *Looks over and sees the unassembled parts of the wing backpack.* OH NO I FORGOT! But imagining Razz in magically gifted wings for proving himself, then the three skeletons can have midair- GET IT DONE FIRST GET IT DONE!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Chitter down girl. Damn)

Underswap House:  
Slim: *Half heartedly watches frozen, DOES NOT MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER.*

Bird House:  
*Chitter manages to curb the addiction long even to assemble the wings. Then drinks 5 energy drinks and starts typing.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
*Skeletons arrive at the machine in the abandoned Underground, all dusty and long abandoned.*  
Burb: Yeeesh. It looks worse than I remember.  
Razz: Can you fix it.  
Burb: I didn't get it running in the first place, so the verdict is out there.  
Razz: Wonderful.  
Dove: *Receives the message from Chitter.* His wings are done!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ... we can at least clean it up a bit .... one of the few times I wish I was smart like some of my counterparts....  
Dove: But you are plenty smart! Look how you bested Undyne without any experience with an aerial opponent!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Dry chuckle.* That’s not intelligence, that was just accomplished through hours of training and experience in the field. I know where I stand in the smarts department, and it’s nowhere close to what’s needed here.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Burb: Well bud... I'm not exactly up to par either here.....  
Razz: The other smart Sanses and a Papyrus figured it out with a few pointers from each other ... I don't doubt you will be able to as well.

Swap House:  
Slim: *A few tiny tears at the sibling relationship in Frozen.*  
Blue: *Walks by- ... oh no a sad Papy.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Slim?  
Slim: *Looks up at Blue with big watery sockets as soon as Anna’s entire body freezes and Elsa starts sobbing.*  
Blue: Oh dear, maybe Frozen was a bad idea....  
Slim:.... Razz would have said the same thing.... Only much more angry....

Bird World:  
Razz: Regardless, I remember the others mentioning blueprints they'd found hidden in the house… or the True Lab depending on the universe. I think yours would be in the house.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap House:  
Blue: .... I can try to act a little angry if you want?  
Slim: N-no, you couldn't pull it off like he can.

Bird World:  
Burb: Uh... kinda didn't keep this clean or organized.....at all....  
Razz: Might as well get started-  
Dove: That can wait, Alphys finished the wings!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Seriously Dove, this needs to take priority- HEY! *Dove scoops him up despite his flailing.*  
Dove: I WANT TO SEE YOU FLY!  
Razz: YOU WANNA SEE ME RIP YOUR ARMS OFF?!  
Burb: *Oh god please don’t kill Dove he’s too innocent.* Don’t worry about it, just fly back here yourself once you get them and we can go from there. Seriously my bro wouldn’t stop going on about it yesterday.  
Razz: * annoyed* Fine. But you better not use my absence as an excuse to nap!

Swap House:  
*Blue takes a seat next to Slim right as their sisterly love revives Anna.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Is definitely not identifying with cutesy cartoons.*

Bird World:  
*Dove once again gets to hold razz on the flight back.*  
Burb: *Takes a nap.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Blue: *Knowing he is going to regret this.* Do you want to watch the Saw films? We can marathon them?  
Slim: YOU own the Saw films?  
Blue: .... I have the entire series in the back of my closet.... please don’t look at me like that!

Bird World:  
*Finally arrive at the house.*  
Razz: Thank Christ I don’t have to get carried anymore.*Tries to crawl down, but Dove won’t let him.*  
Razz: Would you let go of me already?!  
Dove: It’s like watching a baby grow up I’m not ready!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Slim: Can we watch them again when Razz is back?  
Blue: Sure.

Bird World:  
Razz: I AM OLDER THAN YOU!  
Dove: But you're almost a fledgling and once you fly you will be all grown up!  
Razz: What? Just let me get the damn wings!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: I WILL KNAW YOUR ARM UNTIL YOU LET GO!!! *Gets his teeth around Dove’s forearm in warning, but Dove doesn't release.*  
Razz:....... whatever....  
Dove: Yay! *Hugs tighter.*  
*Dove and Razz enter the house seeing Chitter all sweaty, breathing heavy and practically passed out. Her laptop is open.*  
Razz: What the heck was she-  
Dove: I think it is safer not to ask.

Swap House:  
*Blue and Slim are watching the Saw movies, Slim not reacting too much, but getting surprised when Blue tries to hold back giggles.*  
Slim: Why are you laughing?  
Blue: Mweheheheh.... I can't help it. We are watching Saw 3D and the effects are bad compared to others. Like, the obvious CG on the back skin ripping, and it’s done so gimmicky.... STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Dove calling Razz’s bluff like that)

Bird World:  
The glimpse of Chotter’s computer screen was too much for words. Best to suppress that.

Swap House:  
Slim: Huh.... you’re more like Razz than I realized.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
*Razz slams the screen shut, jolting Chitter from her daze.*  
Chittet: W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  
Razz: DESTROYING THIS FILTH-  
Chitter: NOOOOO!!! *Tackles him to the ground to get the laptop back.*

Swap House:  
Blue: You know, one of the Final Destination films has some even crazier moments. Like the escalator that ate that girl. I stayed away from them for weeks after that.  
Slim: And you.... frequent scary movies?  
Blue:.... I.... I like them a lot more than most people know. This isn't even a fraction of my collection. Papy hates scary movies so I don't watch them much when he's around.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Razz fucking goes nuts for them, and really badly made movies.  
Blue: Huh.  
Sans: OK! Almost done!

Bird World:  
*Dove is just watching a feral fan girl fight for her fanfiction.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*It's a long battle, but Chitter winds up victorious, harshly pulling the laptop from Razz’s tight grasp and kicking him hard in the shin.*  
Chitter: THERE! ITS BACKED UP TO MY GOOGLE DRIVE NOW!!!!!  
Razz: Jesus Christ… that was the most feral thing I've ever fought with.  
Dove:Yes, I’ve learned a while ago not to take fanfics away from Chitter...

Swap House:  
Slim: Really????  
Comic: Yep. Just gotta finally decide who we are sending through. It's reloading all the lost codes onto a separate drive, so we will know where he went within the next hour or two.  
Blue:.... we never figured out who we were sending, did we?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
Razz: *Huff.* She only got it cus I didn't want to touch it anymore.  
Dove: Soooo..... time for my fledgling to fly!

Swap House:  
Slim: I’m going! Y-you can't stop me!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Well, that gives us a teleporter, and I'm not as quick to say no currently.  
Comic: Who’s going with him?  
Edge: Me obviously. I'm not going to let him get dusted by some horrible monster.  
Blue:..... Neither of you can build a machine though.

Bird World:  
Chitter: A-and this communicates directly with your brain, so to speak. You can move the shoulder joints up and down with your mind, and use your arms on these hooks here when you need to make bigger areal changes.  
Razz:... that makes sense.... I think.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: *This is his moment.* Alphys! Can Razz feel the wings as if they are real?  
Chitter: Yes, he should.  
Razz: It feels very weird-EEP!  
Dove: *Had grabbed a wing to extend it for Razz.* All right fledgling! Time to get you used to the wings and ready to fly! *Does stretching exercises for the wings to get Razz used to all the ways to move them.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: H-how the hell am I feeling this!??! DON’T SQUEEZE THAT'S WEIRD!!!  
Dove: Remember to move them like an oar on a boat! Up and down flapping won’t do anything!  
Razz: What? Wait! WHAT ARE YOU- AHHHHH!!! *Dove shoves him off the front porch.*  
Dove: Feel the wind with your wings!

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz is flipping wildly out of control.*  
Chitter: Papyrus…. um, ah….. he has never had wings, and that was probably a bad idea considering wings are not natural to him and we are in a forest area and he could hit a tree.....  
Dove: But he is a fledgling!  
Chitter: Not really? Um.... he has no flight instincts and just got wings, he hasn't even done branching yet... imagine if you got another pair of legs and I tried to force you to run a race............ oh gosh you should probably follow him.  
*Razz has very shakily gotten into a glide of sorts. He hasn’t figured out flapping and banking just yet. Hopefully he does before that tree....*

Chitter: ....... oh God I forgot tail feathers. He can't steer well or do adjustments.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!! *Bounces off a branch into another, barely grabbing into the second one for dear life with his needle sharp claws.*  
Razz: Okay... let’s try this again. *He climbs on top of a large branch, trying to gain balance but the weight and weird way the wings moved caught him off guard. He still didn’t know how to bring them into a resting position.*  
Dove: That was a very good first try! Chitter made these up real quick to attach to your false shoulders! It’s like a Tail!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ........ ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? *Accidentally smacks himself with a wing in his outrage* FUCK.  
Dove: *Flutters down to Razz to attach the pseudo tail.* You did very good for a first try considering you had them for only fifteen minutes!  
Razz: *Clinging to the tree like a scared kitten or a very deranged bat.* ....... and this .....tail will help?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Dove: Yep! *Shoves the fake tail into the appropriate attachment hole on his backpack mechanism, sending an electrical zap up his butt.*  
Razz: YEOUCH! SHIT!!!  
Dove: Moving it back and forth will help you steer!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz experiments twisting it around.*  
Razz: Interesting. *Attempts to stand, but wind kicks up and spins him around by his wings.*  
Razz: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!  
Dove: Of course it isn’t impossible! You just have to keep trying!

***  
Bookwyrm  
A large gust hits Razz’s fake wings just right to knock him off his branch, and he has no talons to grasp the wood.  
Razz: FUCK FUCK FUCK! *Scrambles with his claws, thank God he never put his gloves back on from the spar and manicures..... his polish is staying on well considering the circumstances.*

(Dove is not the best teacher to the non instinctual)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The polish on his ONE claw ghjgdfjk)

Dove: FOLD YOUR WINGS IN WHEN YOU DON'T NEED THEM!  
Razz: HOW DO I DO THAT!  
Dove: It’s like how you fold you arm!  
Razz: you are TERRIBLE AT THIS!!!  
Dove: it shouldn't be this hard!  
Razz: HHHHSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!  
*Razz shimies his way closer to the trunk where the wind is weakest, practicing extending one wind and then the other.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(For some reason I just thought of Razz with fucking velociraptor claws in red polish)

Razz: Damn these are really flexible.....  
Dove: You want to scoop the air when flapping. You can feel the different winds.  
Razz: I have no idea how the 'different winds' are supposed to feel! *Jolts when the tail feathers brush against his legs.* God these fucking things are crazy.  
Dove: They aren't that bad. You're just being fussy.  
Razz: I AM NOT FUSSY

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz is a classy lady that wears them sharp stilettos and pointy ass nails on fleek djfjgk)

Razz: *Holds one wing out when the wind picks up again testing and trying to memorize the feel.* Tell me if the winds passing are good ones to fly on so I can memorize!  
Dove: It’s not about mesmerizing! You just have to learn to feel it for yourself!  
Razz: Okay hippy go eat a dick!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Frazzled Razz is a snappy bitch)

Razz: I need to know what Chitter based these wings on. Are they meant for short fast flights, soaring, distance travel, or maneuverability? What kinds of birds were these based on and what should I expect?  
Dove: Flying is flying and I believe in you!  
Razz: I believe I don't want to get impaled on a giant ass tree!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Dove We based colors on the purple martin bird!  
Razz: ..... I don’t know what that is!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pffft. And they based the shape on Sans, a raven)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(They are basically geniuses of the highest caliber XD)

Razz: you are absolutely NO HELP!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: HEY! Who can actually fly between the two of us?

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Razz curses and inches his way to the edge, flapping his wings feeling the breeze trying to lift him up. With a deep breath and no fucks left to give he jumps for it.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(If he dies so be it, at least it would be fucking cool way to die)

Chitter: *Watches from a distance*....... we should really have Sans do this... those are basically his wings.... and he actually taught someone to fly before....... *Text Sans, telling him he should probably help Razz before Dove kills him on accident.*

Burb: *Rolls over in his nap from the sound of his phone.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: *Groggily checks his phone, a video of Razz slamming into a massive tree trunk and Dove cheering him on.*  
Burb: ..... huh.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Burb watches as the video shows Razz cursing like a sailor.*  
Razz: FUCKING BITCH SHOVED ON A MEAN CREAM STICK! BASTARD ASS TREE, I WILL TEAR YOU TO PIECES NOT EVEN FIT FOR A DAMN DOLL'S FURNITURE! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR OFFSPRING GET ROOT ROT AND PARASITES!  
Dove: Razz it's not the tree's fault-  
Razz: IF I HAD MY FLAMETHROWERS I WOULD BURN IT TO ASH AND SPIT ON THE REMAINS.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: ... I should probably go help..... but that’s a long way to fly.  
Razz: I WILL MURDER A HUMAN AND RIP OUT THEIR BLADDER JUST SO I CAN URINATE ON THE SPLINTERED WOOD’S REMAINS!!!  
Burb: ..... alright alright I’m going.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pfft Razz buddy omg)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *After over an hour of this, he has taken more damage then Undyne did during their duel.*  
Razz: I-I…. they will rue the day they messed with me..... once the sky stops spinning.... stars I think I have brain damage…

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: .... you don't have a brain. How are you this bad at flying but amazing at combat???  
Razz: Fucking hell, I told you the combat took me years to master!  
Chitter: ...... my injury fic might have some..... credit now….

Swap House:  
Blue: .... So how about Slim and Comic?  
Edge: I still want to go.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Edge please the fewer the better.  
Edge: We don’t know if it’s dangerous!  
Red: Edge, we can send you in right away if they say it’s bad. We can send ya in right after.  
Edge: If they manifest in front of something dangerous they won’t have time to call in!

Chitter’s Next Fanfic Scenario (because now I can’t help it):  
*Dove sits at the bedside of his unconscious lover, holding his soldier's hand as he is trapped in a deep coma.*  
Burb: Has there been any changes?  
Dove: .... no....  
Burb: look, it’s not your fault-  
Dove: BUT IT IS! YOU WEREN’T THERE! I should have protected him-  
*Burb quickly approaches his brother and caresses him comfortingly on the cheek.*  
Dove: H-here? I can’t....*  
Burb: *Leans in slowly to give his brother some comforting pleasure in his nether regions-*

*CRASH!*

Razz: SHIT FUCK CUM ON A STICK BALLSACK SATANIC PELICANNNNNN!!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: ....... oh goodness Alphys hold it back. Stay in the now-  
Razz: PRICK BASTARD!!! THIS DAMN TREE IS THE STICK UP STRETCH'S MASOCHIST FUCKING PELVIS! ITS SADISTIC ENOUGH TO PLEASE THAT PUSSY WHIPPED MOTHER FUCKER!  
Dove: I'm sure the tree doesn't deserve that.  
Razz: IT DESERVES TO BE SLOWLY FED THROUGH A WOOD CHIPPER! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE HIT IT! *Proceeds to use the tree like a scratching post punching bag.*  
Chitter: Oh gosh…

Other Fanfic from Chitter:  
*Razz, the crippled soldier, ferociously defends the sweet heir that hired Razz to escort him to The Capitol awaiting his fiance. The soldier, cursing a storm worse than the one raging as he fights off dozens of bandits. Razz is victorious, sporting new wounds to scar, but his charge is safe from harm. Razz is the only guard left to deliver Dove, the sweet prince, to a fiance he hasn't seen before.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: Heeeyyyyyyy Alph. Oof, looks pretty bad down there.  
Chitter: T-they are trying.  
*CRASH!!!!*  
Razz: Ahhhhh my backkkkkk~

Chitter’s Fic:  
Razz: My lord! Are you alright?  
Dove: I am now, all thanks to you. Wait, you’re bleeding!  
Razz: It’s nothing, all that matters is your safety.  
Dove: YOU MATTER TO ME!  
*The two lock eyes longingly, knowing that their social statuses, as well as Razz being a cripple, would forever keep them apart. That didn't stop feelings from blooming between the two.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Alphie you thirsty gurl, what would Sans say if he saw you fantasizing his brother? Especially with another Sans skeleton? Oof, is she gonna die of blood loss once she meets the other skeletons.)  
Burb: *Flutter hops his way to Razz.* Alright, alright.... you're trying to do too much at once. Let's try branching first. That helps you get a feel for the air. Luckily we have real branches on the surface to do this.  
Razz: Please tell me you know what you're doing. I am getting nowhere fast.  
Burb: Looks like you have wings similar in shape to me, here lemme look. *Spreads out Razz’s wings.* Look, here are your primaries, they are like your fingers and are what help you 'shape' the air.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(two words. Sleleboy. Harem. XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter’s Fic:  
Razz: I would give my life and body for you my Lord. It is yours to use.  
Dove: however I wish?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Shape the air?  
Burb: Yeah, so look at how my wing is held in kind of like a teardrop shape from the side? So, the reason for the shape is to cup the air, it slows the air travelling under the wing and allows air to slide really fast overtop, creating lift. Do you know anything about how planes fly?  
Razz: Is it.... Kind of how rockets get off the ground?  
Burb: similar principle.

Dove: Wowie, Sans is really good at this.  
Chitter: He already taught you how to f-fly.  
Dove: Very true!

Chitter’s Story:  
*Dove beckoned for Razz to join him in his tent.*  
Razz: My Lord?  
Dove: Come and have a seat so I can clean your wounds.  
Razz: Your Majesty! I'm a soldier, and have lost my salvation of flight. I am barely worthy of speaking to you, much less-  
*Dove puts a cylinder to Razz’s mouth, taking his hand and slowly ushering them to the privacy of his tent.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(The cylinder of silence, the kinkiest of kinks)

Burb: See how my wing curves? *Slo-mo flap to show Razz the motions and movements.*  
Razz: That looks like swimming.... not that I have swam at all really...  
Burb: Just have to keep your wings in sync for the power to lift off. Now instead of throwing yourself out of trees, let's try gliding to a branch or an assisted jump. Watch me then try it. *A gentle glide and flap to a lower branch, gestures for Razz to try.*

Swap House:  
Blue: Then we just have to trust them both to teleport out of danger, Edge. There's no easy way to do this.

Chitter Fic:  
*The tent shakes with the love found that night, from tender touches to loving strokes. The soldier sleeps easy with his charge safe in his arms.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I kind of want Razz to Master flight in time to free fall next to the others while they are screaming after appearing and he’s just stoned faced again hgtfdfj)

Burb: Follow after me. We will start by aiming for that twisting branch.  
*Burb makes a jump for it, twisting his wing into the cup shape and gliding. Razz imitates, shakily copying the motion and trembling the whole trip, but he manages to latch on with minimal face damage..*  
Burb: See? Not too hard.  
Razz: I.... I actually did it.

Chitter’ a Fic:  
*The two awaken in the late morning, deep in each other’s embrace.*  
Dove: Good morning sleepy head.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(With sensei Burb? Razz will be flying decent enough in no time.)

Bird World  
Burb: Think you can follow me a few times now? Think of it like a game of chase that you have to mimic me. *Flitters to the next branch.*  
Dove: .... I still think he would have learned by my teaching sooner or later. *Following from a few branches above.*  
Razz: *Shakily follows Burb as they go branch from branch.* This... this isn't so hard....

Burb: Ready to try going up? You have to push hard instead of the light flaps you have been doing. At least two hardy flaps to push yourself up. *Shows a hard flap and goes to a higher branch.* Watch your resting stance. You want them tucked close so you don't drag the wing tips too bad.  
Razz: *Performs decently.* Like this?  
Burb: There ya go! Did you feel how your tail moved as you landed? You'll need that tail for soaring on thermals, banking, and sharp turns.  
Razz: Ok... ok... what now?  
Burb: Let’s get to the top of the tree now. I'll let you decide the path we take.

Chitter: ..... OMG Sans is a hot teacher.

ChitterFic:  
*Razz delivers his charge safely to the heir's scholarly fiance, his nasal passage in a book more than his eyes on his fiancé.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
*They manage to ascend at least five different trees with Razz only tripping up twice.*  
Burb: You’re looking a lot more solid!  
Razz: It really isn’t that terrible when you try it enough.  
Burb: Think you're ready to try flying higher?  
Razz: You mean, above the trees without having a destination?  
Burb: Yep. Real powered flight. Now the trick when you are first starting is to push the air back when you scoop it. Don’t stall in the air or you’ll fall. If that happens?  
Razz: Then I cup the air and glide down to a branch?  
Burb: Exactly!

Chitters Fic:  
Dove: It is very nice to meet you, Sir Sans.  
Burb: *Looks up from his book, eyes locking with Razz’s for a moment. It was like a spark went off between them, forever intertwining the two’s fates.*  
Burb: Yes, the pleasure is all mine.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Alright I am half asleep and I wanted to find some of the threads to copy paste for editing tomorrow before sleep, night!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Goodnight!)


	17. Slim Finds His Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz gets good. Rescue Attempt! Chitter is still heavily thirsty. Ace likes to fight a lot.

Bookwyrm  
(OK so much for me trying to do editing. I got inspired alright?)  
*It takes Razz about three tries to gain altitude and break free of the canopy. His eyelights are wide open as he flaps his way towards where Burb and Dove are soaring.*  
Razz: Holy fuck I'm doing it! Mwehahaha!  
Dove: *Gliding under Razz.* I knew you could!  
Burb: Alright Razz, there's new tricks to learn up here. Things called thermals are the sky's best and worst thing. They can be a free lift or shake you unsteady. Our wing types are meant more for short to medium soaring, slow glides and easy turns. You won't be able to do as powerful a dive as Undyne or the King can, but you can out maneuver them. You turn on a dime, they need more space. You can hover longer than they can. Ravens are pickers, they are curious, smart, and planners. Your wings reflect them.  
Razz: *Trying to keep pace with Burb.* Okay, Okay, I can handle that.  
Burb: You ever look up and see geese in a formation? We are gonna try that. Try to be just off center of my wing tip.  
Chitter: *Quickly flutters to join them, her sparrow wings working hard to catch up to the larger wingspan monsters.* Razz look at you go! You'll be fighting Undyne in no time!

Chitters Fan Fic:  
Burb:Ah yes. My fiance. Finally arrived have you? Now we can get to know each other better before the wedding in a months time.

(Purple Martins are a swallow species and damn Razz would have been like a damn helicopter in sheer maneuverability)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bruh I love it cfjjdksl) (Dude he'd dart in and claw everyone up like the little shit he is and bolt, I'm mentally adding helicopter noises to his wing beets now fjdjfk)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Swallows swoop, dive, and turn on a damn pin. Especially if they nest on a bridge, the loud buggers swoop like little jet planes and pretty much can 180 in like two secs)

(They do that water skimming thing and are so damn loud but so damn cool)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude I love birds, I now have a soft spot for the American Woodcock bird lol)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(I love the killdeer, I see them in the summer all the time while driving and I just love them. )  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(There was always a couple of killdeer that laid eggs in my parents driveway every year when I was growing up)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(I love how they look and their little feetsies)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(XP Their dance to get threats away from the nest is adorable too)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(I love the little step-step-step-step walk they do, sooooo cute)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro when you get in that editing zone it just happens ghggvv. Okay! I allowed for the co-author thing in my settings!)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Lemme get it set up one sec on AO3, I call it Light Drizzles.... I make myself laugh)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(I like it XD)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(All the chaps are draft rn, will be posting once I check over if I missed anything, I usually do minimal editing to clean it up from the mass copy paste)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Sounds good to me!)(bro somehow thinking about the mass copy paste had me realize, if our discord chat were copy pasted it would be a novel in its self...)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Buddy, what do you think I'm doing? Just that. I end up doing this same thing all the time and thats how I got 20 fics)

*Razz tries to stay in formation, harder than it looks, and can feel the slight difference in how hard it is to cut through the air.*  
Razz: .... this is pretty cool.

Swap House:  
Slim: OK! So me and Comic then! *Picks Comic up like a kitten and the two packs.* Let’s go already and get my bro back.  
Edge: Wait, I want-  
Blue: Edge, we agreed on waiting an hour of no contact before you went in.

(Also somehow Fell switched to Edge in these comments? In your story he's called Fell but not here...? Weird.)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god that's gonna be a Novel and a half XD I’m eager to review it. I started calling him Edge here since I know that’s just what most people refer to him as, I wasn’t sure if you were one that would argue his nickname when we first started so I just went with the more common one to avoid that all together. I know you’re be cool about it now lol)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Nah I get different fics and people like the different names. The only name I've found for Fell/Edge I don't like is Noir. It just. Doesn't flow right? He needs a punchy name and noir is too hard to scream out in anguish......)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Good to know! Also I have never heard of Noir. That just feels way too classy for him. He needs to sound like a rebel hhkjhf)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(He needs something an edgy teen would pick but like, he seriously picked it. I mean he really isn't like Batman or something, why Noir?)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Maybe there is an alternate version of him somewhere where it’s like a black and white detective film and Fell is trying to play the classic detective with Red as his secretary, and he tries to do the whole monologue narration thing but Red keeps setting him off. He wanted to be so smooth drjfjg)

Razz: So how do you pull out of a dive?  
Burb: That’s a pretty advanced move. Are you sure you wanna try?  
Razz: I am feeling pretty confident. Let’s do it.  
Burb: Alright, but know you won’t be about to cut it as close as Undyne does or you will plow face first in the ground. We gotta pull out of it more gradually.  
Razz: Okay, I’ll follow after you.  
***  
Bookwyrm  
*Burb decided to not taunt death by ending the dive anywhere near the canopy. That's just asking for Razz to kiss another tree.*  
*Razz never knew how much force wind and speed could get. And the strain a dive can put on wings.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Deploys his wings just like Comic does, nearly losing himself and crashing.*  
Dove: *Swoops in before he crashes.*  
Dove: That was very close!  
Razz: I want to try again. I wasn’t ready for the push back.  
Burb: Heh, you’re a glutton for punishment aren’t ya?  
Razz: Everything I’ve ever mastered has been through repeated attempts. This is nothing!  
Burb: If you say so.  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: This universe won't stop me even if every bone in me shatters!  
burb: ..... let's not shatter any bones?

Swap House:  
Slim: *Impatient jitters.* Come ooooon! Comic what's taking so long?  
Comic: Look Slim, I gotta do last minute checks ok? I don't want it busting as soon as we use it.  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Razz: YESSSSSSSSS! MWAHAHAHAH! *Masters the drop after sixteen attempts.*This is amazing!  
Burb: You’re practically a natural.  
Dove: I TOLD YOU! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

Swap House:  
Comic: Okay, we are ready to go.  
Slim: Finally! Let’s go!  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(I almost want to drop the two right on top of Razz, but I like the smug ass Razz free falling next to them, Dove and Burb on the sidelines ready to help the new bird carry the skeletons, razz probably would forget how crucial weight is to flying)  
Slim: OK! Lets go! Lets go!  
Comic: OK! Calm down Slim.  
*They enter the portal.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh dude he totally would! Thinking he’s being all cool saving them like Burb did with him, only to nearly crash after to cool wing reveal.)

Comic: Switches on the portable inter-dimensional communication receiver and steps through with Slim, only to blink when they appear several thousand feet over the air with a massive tree canopy far below them.  
free fall begins  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: HOLY SHIT! COMIC WHAT DO WE DO?  
Comic: Fuck if I know! Keep a hold of your pack ok?  
Razz: *Hears the sounds of distant screaming.* Hey you hear that?  
Burb: *Looks up.* Oh hey, more skeletons.  
Dove: Should we help them then?  
Razz: They have a long fall, I wanna do something first. *Uses powerful strokes to gain the height he needs.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Well Slim, this might actually be the end!  
Slim: I'M NOT READY TO DIE! I HAVEN'T FOUND MY BROTHER YET!!!!!  
Razz: I’m sorry! I didn’t quite catch that!  
*Razz had gained enough height to get close without them noticing, nose diving so he was facing them, arms crossed looking like a smug asshole.*  
Slim: SANS!!!!!  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Yes! It's me! The Maleficent Sans! *Smug ass smirk.*  
Comic: ...... have you been falling the entire time you've been gone?  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Smugness increases.* Well, if you must know I’ve been proving how amazing I am by taking this world's strongest monsters and making them suffer under my boot! I’ve been mastering the ways of this world, AND AM NOW A MASTER OF THE SKIES!!!’  
Comic: So you WERE falling this whole time?  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I WASN'T FALLING THE ENTIRE TIME!  
Slim: So you're ok? *Is relieved his bro is OK.*  
Razz: I am fine! They kept picking me though, and it was awful. BUT! I have mastered this universe already!  
Comic: ...... so you were falling most of the time?  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: NO I WAS NOT!!! *Not gonna admit he was crashing most of the time instead.*  
Slim: What do we do now?!  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: AS A MASTER OF THE SKY I GUESS I CAN HELP YOU. *Smug smug ass boi.*  
Slim: ...... how?  
Razz: *Grabs a hold of the two like this! extends his wings, the force almost pops their arms out of their sockets.* Shit! you two are heavy! FUCK!

Burb: .... alright bro. We let Razz have his fun now it's time to save them from themselves.  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Any chance you can stop us from dying?  
Razz: OF COURSE!!!! WATCH AS I SHOW YOU THE SKILLS I HAVE ACQUIRED!!! *Moves in to grab Slim under the arms and deploys his wings.*  
Slim: WOAH!  
Comic: Damn you’ve been busy-  
*Razz miscalculated the weight and he didn't brace his wings enough for the resistance. They all go into a falling spiral.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Burb: Hey pals.... need a lift?  
Razz: THEY ARE REALLY HEAVY.  
Burb: Can’t expect to know everything on the first day, Razzy. *Grabs Comic as Razz just loses his grip on him.*  
Comic: ....... well. Can honestly say I didn't see this coming.  
Burb: Heh. Razz, let go of that one and my bro will get him. Flying with passengers is harder.  
Razz: *Still struggling.* I-I CAN DO IT!  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Working on Discord now! .......oh fuck. That's a lot....)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(I’m afraid to message and drag you back down to newest and ruining your copy paste)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Nk no I am using my phone for chat and my computer for copy paste your goood)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhhhh.... that’s really smart actually (I need to start being smart like that...) ANYWAY I did some sketches while I feared ruining your groove fjfkessj)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Alphys has the most smug face. Like, look at your short ass being held like a baby bones  
Ol' Razzle Dazzle of the West has had it with his brother's physics breaking hat)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz just crushed infinity hat number 3. Slim keeps getting new ones and nobody knows where they come from so Razz eventually gave up iffjfnfkfl)

CAT DISCUSSION TANGENT:  
(You’re kitten in box is adorable btw)

Bookwyrm  
(She busted that one. It couldn't contain her.)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
( She’s so chunky she can’t even use the heavy duty box. Is the other one large too or is he smaller?)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(He is a tiny boy. Like male but a slim boi. No beefy muscle. He likes to slip in that box and judge the outside strays.)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(From behind the safety of the thick glass window and the added security of the extra box. An essential in these trying times)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(He thinks he could take Stinky, the bigger male outside. He gets really pissed at them)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(He feels cocky with the fat one behind her and the safety of the door between them XD I wonder how his confidence would be if those were gone djgkglg) (Stinky looks like my boy Tiberius XD he’s such a happy outdoor boy!!!)

BACK TO THE BIRD WORLD:  
*Razz couldn’t do it. Dove waited till the last second to grab Slim and Razz before they both smashed into a tree.*  
Razz: I ALMOST HAD IT!  
Dove: I’m sure you would have eventually had it! Just like you eventually learned flying after dozens of crashes!  
Razz: THOSE WERE YOUR FAULT!!!!

Chitter: GASP! More skeletons?! M-more.... shipping characters!!!!

Chitter is Mentally Updating Her Fic:  
Burb: My maids will show your bodyguard to his quarters, that way you and I can, perhaps walk the garden?  
Dove: That sounds wonderful.  
*Burb claps his hands, two wingless skeletons step forward with slave collars around their necks and wearing very short, poofy maid outfits.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(There are 3 strays that will yell at the door for their drive thru orders. How dare we not keep the outdoor food bowl full at all hours!) (Tiberius is a good belly boy omg)

Burb: ....hey there. I'm Sans, Sans the Skeleton. You can call me Burb.  
Comic: .... *Grins.* Hey there. I'm Sans, Sans the Skeleton. You can call me Comic.

Dove: Hello! Are you another Papyrus? GASP! Maybe even Razzy’s Papyrus?  
Slim: Um yeah.... 'm Razz’s bro.  
Razz: DOVE! Let me go I can do it!

Chitter (Has Priorities) Fanfic:  
*The sad tired slaves show the soldier to the servants quarters. Where Razz pulls them in to inform them to meet him later, he has questions.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(The drive through doors XD I love it! I had a hard time thinking of a caption for that pic, decided “when your cat’s belly turns out to be the second coming.”)

Burb and Comic are chuckling like idiots. Dove lands on large branch setting the brothers down.  
Dove: OH. MY.STARS. YOU ARE SMALLER JUST LIKE YOUR BROTHER!!! How tall are you officially?  
Slim: .... 5 foot 11 inches.  
Dove: that’s two inches shorter then me! You two are so small and cute together!  
Razz: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME SMALL!!!!

Chitter’s Fic:  
*The slaves come to Razz’s quarters. They bow in greeting.*  
Slim: What do you have need for, Master?  
Comic: If it is pleasure you seek, we have been instructed to satisfy you in any way possible.  
(Dammit Chitter stop being thirsty!)  
Razz: Stop it! You... you are just like me.... how did you end up like this?  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: *Makes her way to the skeletons, had been in the canopy watching as she is not built for dives at all, but to flutter about.*  
Dove: I AM GLAD YOU AGREE THAT YOU ARE CUTE.  
Razz: I WILL CLAW YOU!  
Slim: Sans, how did you get wings???  
Burb: So. You're the guy most like me? Heh. That’s something.  
Comic: Yeah, this whole “many universe” thing is really weird.

Chitter Fanfic:  
*Razz, feeling a strong brotherhood between the slaves and himself, and maybe something more, promises to himself to help his fellow crippled skeletons while keeping an eye on the heir that saved his heart!*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: They aren’t real, they are metal. See? *Turns around and shows them the backpack containing his false shoulder blades connected to the wings and tail.*  
Razz: I can feel everything through them and it’s the weirdest thing.  
Slim: W-why do you have them though.  
Razz: They didn’t have a functioning machine so I had to learn their ways. Unfortunately you aren’t getting anywhere without wings here.  
Comic: I’ll admit, that’s a snazzy paint job.

Chitter’s Fic:  
*Burb and Dove are dining after their walk in the garden, a long massive table with just the two of them there.*  
Burb: Tell me, how do you manage to keep such a spirited slave obedient without a collar?  
Dove: H-he’s not my slave! He’s my body guard, and friend.  
Burb: Heheheh, the ways of your homeland certainly are entertaining. I was under the assumption your parents kept slaves.  
Dove: T-they do....  
*That was how he met Razz the first time, a slave his parents had purchased for hard labor, but after defending Dove from kidnappers one night, he earned favor with the household. They had been inseparable ever since.*  
(Chitter is getting into backstory territory djckglgl)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *A bit embarrassed to be complimented.*Yes! Well! I was a bit... drunk.... when they were discussing colors.  
Slim: ... why were you drinking?  
Razz: I was falling to my death for like, 20 minutes okay? With almost no way to stop it! That’s fucked up!  
Burb: He was a bad ass though.  
Razz: DAMN RIGHT I WAS!  
Slim: *Runs a hand along the wing closest to him.*  
Razz: *Jerks back.* Don't DO that!  
Chitter: .......omg.

Chitter Fic:  
*A flashback to the first soft touch Razz receives, from his lord, Dove. He jerks from it expecting pain. Dove patiently moving to allow his disabled guard to handle a gentleness he's never known, swearing to keep this softness safe for as long as he lives.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I'm visiting family and jumping between this and talking and grammar checking the fifth chapter you uploaded djfkfl)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Take your time! )  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Dove: HE EVEN DEFEATED UNDYNE! WITHOUT WINGS!  
Slim: I-is that supposed to be impressive?  
Dove: No one has ever beat Undyne before!  
Razz: She proved to be her own variety of challenge. I will have to get you some experience with aerial opponents.

Chitters Fic:  
Razz: *Ewits for his lord, as Burb and his Master were planning to visit the shopping district.*  
Burb: Ah, Razz if I recall? *The scholar steps out of a side room, Dove still nowhere in sight.*  
Razz: My Lord. Do you have a need for anything?  
Burb: I just wished to ask you a few questions. My fiance seemed very fond of you. *Circles him making Razz tense.* Too fond, and of a slave no less.  
Razz: I am his body guard, Sir.  
Burb: Heh, if calling it that makes you feel better.  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: Razz said something about having to fix a machine?  
Comic: Yeah, we should get on that so we can go home at some point.  
Slim: .... I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Swap House:  
Edge: THEY HAVEN'T CONTACTED YET OR ANYTHING!  
Blue: It’s only been 45 minutes and they have 15 more Edge.

Chitter Fic:  
Razz: My master owns my soul, my mind, my very being. I am of use to protect and serve him.  
Burb: ..... I don't like you. But.... you make Dove happy. Just stay to yourself and we will be fine.  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Comic: So, this is your machine? It looks like shit.  
Razz: Well, I wanted to start organizing and dusting, but apparently learning to fly took priority.  
Chitter: W-well, we might as well get started.  
Slim: Seriously, what the heck am I forgetting?

Swap House:  
Edge: THAT’S IT! I'M GOING IN!  
Blue: WAIT-  
Red: Annnnnnnd he's gone... dumbass.

*Edge appears several thousand feet in the air, a thick canopy of trees below.*  
Edge: ... well shit.  
*A blue fish monster happened to see him appear.*

Chitter’s Story:  
*Dove is walking through the garden with Razz under a beautiful half moon, holding hands and blushing. They know they shouldn't be doing this, but the urges were proving too strong.*  
*Meanwhile Burb sneaks into the kitchen, having decided Dove and Razz were harboring feelings for each other, and he couldn't let that stand. He pours an additive into Razz’s food when the slaves aren't looking, right before it is taken to the soldiers quarters, Razz would be dealt with.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace: AWESOME ANOTHER ONE! *Slams into Edge at high speeds to grab him.*  
Edge: HOLY SHIT!!!

Slim: Oh! I gotta text the guys. We really need to give your number out sans.

Closet Chat (all but Razz):  
Sleek'n'Slim: we are all good guys. In some bird universe, don't come, it spits u out like a few thousand feet in the air. Razz has gone a bit native.

Chitter Fic:  
*Dove holds his beloved guard’s hand as he wheezes, the illness that hit his love seems to suck the life out of him, a tear falls as Dove watches his lover suffer.*

(I got to the part where Razz and Slim are on the catwalk omg)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Closet Chat:  
SharpTooth: YOU COULDN’T HAVE TEXTED TWO MINUTES AGO!? Boss just went in.  
.....  
Sleak’n’Slim: okay so the guys here said their Undyne is on patrol in case anyone else shows up. He is probably okay.

Ace: THIS IS AWESOME!!!! *Drops Edge off in a field before landing herself. Edge jumps up with a bone attack summoned.*  
Edge: ALRIGHT HEATHEN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE OTHERS?!  
Ace: YOU WANNA FIGHT! HELL YES!!! *Summons spear.* LETS DO THIS!!!

Chitter’s Fic:  
*Burb enters the room where Dove is staying with his dying beloved.*  
Burb: My darling, you should come and eat dinner. You must be starving.  
Dove: N-no. I am okay. Please, start without me.  
*Burb marches forward in a moment of jealous rage, grabbing Dove by the arm and yanking him upright.*  
Burb: You have spent far too long here with a dying slave! It is time to return to the REAL WORLD!  
Dove: L-let me go! Razz-  
*Burb pulls his hand back to slap his distraught fiance, a shaky hand grabbing it at the last second. Razz had worked up just enough strength to defend his lover from harm, but was clearly still dying.*  
RAZZ: *Huff. Huff.* D-d-don’t lay... *Wheeze*.... Your filthy hands on him....  
*Burb’s slaves are watching from the shadows afraid to intervene.*

Bird World:  
Comic: Uhhhhhhh, is your Alphys okay?  
*He motions over to the lizard with erect wings and current smiling like a dope.*  
Dove: Oh no, not again..... She's so uncomfortable to be around when she is like this.....

(YESSS ONE OF THE BEST SCENES! Strut those skele butts fhfkd)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: I WILL WARN YOU THIS ONCE ONLY I HAVE DEFEATED MY UNDYNE IN MY VIOLENT UNIVERSE. YOU STAND NO CHANGE!  
Ace: FUCK YEAH! ARE YOU LIKE RAZZ AT ALL?!? BRING IT ON!!!

Clost Chat:  
Sleek'n'Slim: Definitly don't send any more.

Chitter fic:  
*Razz collapses in his love’s arms, truly spent.*  
Dove: Razz! No! Don’t leave!  
Razz: May-may I have one last kiss?  
*They gaze into each others sockets-*

Bird World:  
Slim: .... *Pokes Chitter with a bone.* I think its broken.  
Dove: *Gently shakes Chitter.* Alphys, snap out of it!

(At fluffy cuddles now aaaaaaaaaaa)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg I am at iHop torture)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Wait, you at iHop for real?)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(No no. The torture of Stretch and the iHop order)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(OHHHH it all makes sense now XD I was so confused for a sec)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Pretty sure I'm gonna cut the segment off at Stretch making his escape to horrortale)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(that sounds like a good stopping point. The horror bros showing up was really the start of the fever cuddle segment)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(The chats omg)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(The chat has some of the best parts shekel)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(These are just too stupid adorable XD yes lets let the published ones sit and I’ll check the others for any major autocorrect mistakes)

(Oh God are we having another fight sequence or having it crash to a halt before it starts? Ddkfl)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Dealers choice)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Let’s go for it, show off the differences in their attack styles. I always imagine Edge is more willing to throw blasters around and prefers a rapier type sword fighting lol)

Closet Chat:  
-Sharp Tooth: Boss isn't answering his phone.  
-Sleek’n’Slim: Yeah, he isn't answering mine either.

Bird World:  
Slim: So Edge isn't answering his phone, and there is a chance your Undyne might be fighting her.  
Razz:..... Well shit.

*Ace charges Edge with a loud battle cry, deciding to attack on the ground first, not eager to face plant from a blue attack. Edge summons a single, longer bone sword in one hand, keeping his other hand free to summon shields or projectiles. Spear and sword clash in an explosion of power, but neither budge and inch.*

Chitters Fic:  
Dove: *Tears are starting to drip onto his beloved face.* Please don't die~  
Burb:... Fine. If I can't have your heart to myself no one can! *Summons a bone ready to strike Dove down.*  
Slim: *Rushes out of the shadows and tackles Burb.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(OK, I just had the weird thought of Razx being an ankle stabbing, tendon cutting bastard while Edge would go for the dramatic stab through the chest cavity)

*Edge and Ace push against each other, trying to overpower each other.*  
Ace: Ngah! *Wing assisted jump to the side.* HA! *Thrusts a spear towards Edge’s side.*  
Edge: *Summons a wall to catch the blow and aims a stab to the throat.*

Chitters Fix, Cuz she Addicted Now:  
*Razz takes his final kiss as he starts to dust in Dove’s arms. Slim, unable to keep up the strength to fight his Master, is cast aside.*  
Burb: We could have been the next Romeo and Juliet, looks like your ends will fit better.  
Razz: *In a feat of true love, lunges at Burb to pierce the soul with a barely conjured bone.* I will drag you to hell with me.  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz has to take out legs to feel taller/superior while edge already can look down on most people)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz totally would though XD he takin advantage of his small size to take others down a peg and use whatever necessary to win. Edge, on the other hand, has standards!)

*Ace moves her head just enough for the blade to skim her neck, pushing the sword to the side with her spear and jumping back to give herself some room.*  
Ace: Heh, not quite like Razz I see.  
Edge: HOW DARE YOU TRY AND COMPARE US! I respect that he was a Captain, but I have standards when it comes to my form! I will never reduce myself to ankle biting!  
Ace:.... Nyeh! You are an asshole.  
Edge: DID RAZZ SAY THAT?! I TRUSTED HIM! *Ego feels wounded that Razz would say that. He thought they had something special going.*  
*Undyne uses her wings to kick off the ground and charge in with a barrage of spears taking advantage of his hurt feelings.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Wow autocorrect went to town with that fjdjd should make more sense now)  
***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace: *Lands a few hits, grinning that she got a few good hits.* Nah! He had nothing but warnings for me to not pick fights with the red ones! But you look like FUN! JUST LOOK AT YOUR WITTLE HURT FEELINGS!  
Edge: HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME! I DON’T HAVE TO RESORT TO DISABLE MY OPPONENTS! I CAN STAND WITHOUT THOSE TACTICS! *Summons a blaster in sheer rage.*  
***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: WOAH YOU SUMMON DRAGON HEADS TOO THATS SO- SHIT!!! *Narrowly dodges a beam shot from the blaster that impacts a tree behind them, leaving a huge hole.*  
Ace: HOLY SHIT THEY SHOOT LASERS- HEY! *Jumps into the air, the shot singles the tips of her flight feathers. She decides to put some distance between them.*  
Edge: HEY! Get back here!!!! *Summons many bones protruding vertically from the ground gradually getting taller and taller. He uses them as narrow platforms to try and catch up to her.*

Chitter’s Fic:  
*Burd smirks one last time, blood leaking from his mouth.*  
Burb: Heh, you were stronger then I thought.... See you on the other side... *He dusted, Razz collapsing without Burb’s body to support him.*  
Dove: RAZZ NO! *Scoops up his unconscious lover, hugging his dusting form close and balling his eyes out. Comic and Slim watch on sadly.* *Suddenly, a green glow started pulsing from Dove’s chest.*  
***  
Bookwyrm  
(Hehe, Edge is stepping up to the challenge)

Ace: HEY I DIDN’T KNOW THOSE DRAGON HEADS SHOT AWESOME FUCKiNG LASERS! Oh shit! *Dives to dodge another beam.*  
Edge: STOP FLAPPING ABOUT AND FIGHT ME! STOP FUCKING RUNNING! I REFUSE TO ALLOW YOU TO FLIT ABOUT LIKE SOME INSANE SONG BIRD!

Chitter Fic (really is trying for the most drama here dang gurl):  
*Razz stops dusting, small pits and a lost phalange or two, thanks to the lovers bond between the two.*


	18. Papa Bird Deals With Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chitter gets caught in her fantasies. Edge continues his fight. Birdtale Asgore is too old for this. 
> 
> Chitter explores Neko Skeles. Razz's patience is in low stock.

HomeHawk12  
(Edge is too pissed to strategies fjdkdfl)

Ace Fight:  
Ace: HAH! YOU WANNA COME TO MY TERF? LET’S DO IT THEN!!!!  
*Ace circles around and starts a short dive, pulling up trying to knock Edge off balance. He met her with a bone shield, her colliding with if knocking him off his bone. Summoning a blaster, Edge uses it as a step stool to get back onto another bone platform.*

Chitter’s Fic (Yes, the ultimate drama and harem of four skeleboys):  
Razz: *Sockets flutter open, seeing his lover glowing and burying his face in Razz’s chest.*  
Dove: *Sob.* P-please don't leave me..... *Hic.* P-please.....  
Razz: *Lifted his hand and caressed the side of Dove’s face.*  
Razz: I-I’m not going anywhere....  
Dove: RAZZ?!  
Razz: My Angel.... *weak smirk.*  
*Comic and Slim are hugging each other in celebration.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge is a force of nature like a rockslide, Razz is more of a flood)  
(Just imagined Undyne bouncing off like a bird hitting a window)

*Edge keeps up with his platforms to keep invading Ace’s area, not letting up and not allowing her to fly higher.*  
Ace: AW COME ON MAN! THIS WON’T LEMME DO MY BEST!

CHITTER FIC GONE ROGUE:  
*In this moment, Comic gently kisses Slim, happy to be out of Burb’s evil hands. Slim makes a soft noise before returning it fully. Dove smooches Razz and slowly both tall skeletons start removing what little clothing they had on, dropping their maid outfits to the floor.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh God was Dove in the maid outfit this whole time?!?! Shit I'm reimagineing the whole scene with him wearing one and its glorious XDDD)

Ace Fight:  
*Edge waits for Ace to flap close to him with her barrage of spears getting frustrated. He jumps, knocking some of them aside with his own sword and taking damage from the ones he missed just to get to her. Forcing her close with blue magic he grabs onto the spear in her hand.*  
Ace: JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE INSANE!  
Edge: I TOLD YOU TO STOP RUNNING AWAY NOW FACE ME LIKE A GUARDSMAN!  
Ace: MY FIGHTING STYLE REQUIRES AIR!!!  
Edge: FIGURE IT OUT!

Chitter is Horny. That is All:  
*Dove helps Razz rip off the thin shirt he's wearing, the only bit of clothing he had on through the whole scene (there were never any pants). Slim assists Comic removing his own maid outfit, the two making out hard pushing themselves towards Razz’s bed.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Yes Chitter has a major maid thing going on and I totally planned on that being a major omg moment)

Edge: THAT’S SLOPPY TO NOT BE ABLE TO ADAPT!  
Ace: I DON’T USUALLY FIGHT WITH CRIPPLES!  
Edge: THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!?

Chitter needs a cold drink of water:  
*Razz blushes as his angel shows him the holy light and the two cherubs next to him make the most blessed music.*

Bird World:  
Slim: ..... she’s... probably fine.  
Razz: They haven't earned my number yet.  
Slim: .... that’s what you said to Chara, but they got it the next day.  
Razz: I was babysitting them and it would have been irresponsible to not give them.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Burb & Comic: *Nearly identical lazy grins.*  
Dove: ..... OH GOD THERE’S TWO OF YOU NOW.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(See, Razz is practical gfdgjk. He doesn't wanna get random messages from peeps he didn't like vjhgf)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace Fight:  
Ace: CRIPPLE!!!! NO WINGS GROUNDED MONSTER!!!!!  
Edge: SHUT UP!!!!! *Summons two blasters and fires at her, but she narrowly swoops out of the way.*  
Ace: AWWWWW, AM I HURTIN’ THE BUBIES FEEWINGS?  
Edge: I WILL MURDER YOU WITH FIRE!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Those two are toddlers omg)

***  
Bookwyrm  
*One of Edge’s shots fired straight up into the sky, bright enough for others in the canopy to see. The two start to draw a crowd, a tiny armless lizard watches in awe. His fluffy baby wings shaking in excitement. A larger hefty monster with snowy wings sighs as he overhears Ace’s trash talk. He gets up to make sure no one dies.*

Edge: FUCK OFF YOU PATHETIC ROAST CHICKEN, I WILL RIP YOUR WINGS OUT!  
Ace: YOU GOTTA GO FASTER THAN THAT TO CATCH UP TO ME SLOW BONES!

Bird World:  
Comic: So, I looked at this for a bit and the only problem I could find was too much dust, a loose wire and this weird sock caught in the gears. *The sock is suspiciously shaped perfectly for someone's talons.*  
Burb: ..... welp. That’s good then.  
Dove: SANS!  
Razz, Burb, & Comic: Yeah/Yes?

Dove: .... can I trade my Sans in?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(They totally are toddlers though gjfjdkdl sorry I’m at work so I can’t respond quickly. I did make Saloon Girl Muffet earlier though!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(She gets hit on by all the drunkards)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(She can also hold like six guns at once. Razz shudders thinking off ALL those guns fghjk)

Ace Fight:  
Edge: YOU WANT TO SEE FASTER? I’LL GIVE YOU FASTER!!!! *Edge Summons a blaster and hops on top of it, only the maw is facing in the opposite direction of Ace.*  
Ace: YOU’RE AIMING THE WRONG WAY DUMBASS!!!!!  
*Edge just grins maniacally, firing the blaster off and letting the force send him and the blaster flying in her direction.*

Bird Word:  
Slim: Not mine. *Grabs his own brother’s shoulder defensively.* You can have Comic though.

Chitter Needs to Calm her Ass Down:  
*Razz has seen the face of God, and it resulted in imprinting on his beloved for life.*  
(It's totally something wingless like him has ALWAYS been able to do, no foreshadowing needed fhhnk).  
*The four skeletons awake after a long, passionate night of oragys and pleasure. Slim and Comic had joined in with them too and now all of them had imprinted on Dove.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Poor Razzy)

Ace Fight:  
*Edge shoots far past Ace, misjudging the power of the blaster. Ace barely slips out of the way, definitely would have been defeated and dusted if that had hit her.*  
Ace: HEY! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME LIKE THAT!  
Edge: THAT’S THE FUCKING IDEA, YOU DAMN TURKEY.

*The large monster lands heavily on a branch, observing the battle.  
....... what has Asgore flown into?*

Bird World:  
Dove: But those two are broken! They pun all the time! Razz is much better and I helped teach him to fly already!  
Razz: I would disagree on that.

Chitter .......(during editing has realized she just had the skelies fuck in Burb’s dust.... no one should notice right?):  
*Dove feels the most loved he ever has and with his Lovers’ help, takes over Burb's estate.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Chitter: And then the four of them are married and get super pregnant!  
*Chitter laughs giddily, finally realizing the room went quiet. She also feels a very heavy, foreboding sense of certain doom. Looking behind her shoulder she finally sees Razz specifically standing over her, one eyelight brightly lit and narrow to resemble a predatory cat that just cornered its prey. The other skeletons are looking both very confused and scared.*  
Razz: I’m sorry, WHO did you say gets “SUPER PREGNANT?”  
Chitter: ..... eeeep!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bubo was Asgore’s nickname right?)

Ace Fight:  
Bubo: I really should intervene.... then again, maybe they can get this settled themselves?  
MK: WOAH LOOK AT THAT FIRE!!!!  
*Looks down to see Edge’s blasters have done serious damage to the surrounding trees, and some of the spectators have jumped in to put the flames out.*  
Bubo: .... okay it’s time to intervene.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bubo: *Hefts himself into the air. Oof, this was much easier a decade or two ago.* CHILDREN! STOP! YOU ARE HARMING THE FOREST!  
Edge: *Sputters to a stop.* WHAT?!?  
Ace: FLUFFYBUNS! HE IS ALMOST AS MUCH FUN AS RAZZY!  
Edge: *Starts cackling.* DOES HE KNOW YOU CALL HIM THAT? AND WHERE IS THE SHRIMP ANYWAY?!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
*The scene cuts to four skeletons cowering behind the machine while Razz and Chitter engage in combat over the laptop.*  
Razz: I WILL CRUSH THAT SOILED COMPUTER AND BURN THE REST TO ASH WITH MY FLAMETHROWERS!!!!  
Chitter: DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY MASTERPIECE!  
Razz: DON’T RUIN THAT TERM WITH YOUR FILTH!!!

Ace Fight:  
Bubo: Razzy?  
Ace: THE SKELETON THAT FELL FROM THE SKY THE OTHER DAY!  
Bubo: Oh yes, I fear my mind is slipping in my old age. *He looks up at Edge flapping his way closer.*  
Bubo: Though new guests are always welcome, I must ask that you cease this senseless destruction or you will be forced to leave.  
Edge: Destruction? *Bubo points towards the ground, his sockets following.*  
Edge: *Eyelights go out with realization.* Oh.... THAT destruction.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
*Slim is traumatized in the corner. Dove is hiding in his wings, an orange glow shines around them.*  
*Burb and Comic are sporting twin void sockets.  
Chitter is screeching in distress, THAT IS HER PASSION LET GO!*

Ace Fight:  
.......  
Edge: ...... I apologize your majesty

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bubo: I only ask that you both help clean up the damage your battle caused. There are too many homes near here, we don’t need any newly damaged trees falling and crushing a family in their sleep.  
Edge: *Bows.* Of course your majesty, I will get to work right away.  
Ace: And I’ll help you down!  
Edge: Wha- HEY! *Edge squawks when Ace grabs him from behind and carries him down to the ground.*  
Edge: I COULD GET DOWN MYSELF YOU OVERGROWN CHICKEN WING!  
Ace: AND MISS ALL OF THIS BONDING TIME? YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT BUBY BONES!~ *She continues teasing him the whole way down, Bubo shaking his head but gliding closer to the ground with them regardless.*

Bird World:  
*Razz and Chitter are in a tug of war match over the laptop, everyone else too scared/stunned to intervene.*  
Chitter: PLEASE HAVE MERCY!  
Razz: NOT WHEN YOU ARE WRITING FANTASY GARBAGE ABOUT REAL PEOPLE! DO YOU KNOW HOW CREEPY THAT IS?! YOU WROTE ABOUT ME CHEWING OUT MY OWN BROTHER, AND NOT IN THE DISCIPLINARY WAY!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: ITS EASIER TO WRITE PEOPLE I KNOW! AND SKELETONS ARE CUTE!  
Razz: IT IS FILTH! I WON'T STAND FOR IT!

Ace Fight:  
Edge: Once I help clear this for the civilians, I demand to know where Razz is. Also Slim and Comic!  
Ace: Aww! Da bebby bones want his fwiends!~ They're at the machine with Alphys. You can call me Ace! My girlfriend is Chitter.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Razz: HOW IN BLOODY BLAZES ARE SKELETONS SUPPOSED TO GET PREGNANT ANYWAY?! WE DON’T REPRODUCE SEXUALLY!!!  
Chitter: Wait, you don’t?  
Razz: ... we don’t have the organs. How the hell do you THINK we reproduce?  
Chitter: I-I just assumed you create the appropriate organs with your magic, then grow a baby inside the magic flesh stomach and.... that’s not right?  
*Everyone is staring at her completely weirded out, except for Dove who is very confused.*  
Razz: You. Are. DISGUSTING.  
Chitter: *Really hoping he didn’t catch the part she wrote about the morning sickness and Razz being pregnant with twins and having a very difficult nine months.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: .... um, I-I thought it would be most like how humans reproduce, as you are most like a human....skeleton.......  
Razz: I AM NOTHING LIKE FLESH BAGS!  
Slim: ..... oh God ... wouldn't that look like some weird water balloon? *Internal crisis.* Oh stars. *Looks sick.*  
Chitter: *Jittery and clutching her device like a lifeline.* I BASED MY IDEA ON THE MAGICAL FLESH MY SANS AND PAPYRUS HAVE. B-BECAUSE THEIR WINGS HAVE A COATING FOR FEATHERS TO ATTACH TO!  
Dove: The feathers are directly attached to thickened bone.... we don't have magical flesh...... what......I don't.... what was ... that stuff you had us do? ....what’s “holy light”???

Ace Fight:  
Bubo: .... ah. Yes. That ... universe thing and all the hip monsters getting nicknames.... I can be .....um Bubo. That sounds harmless and soft!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Slim and Dove best reactions XDDD I feel like Dove will have LOTS of questions for Burb, given he was beta reading Alphys stuff the other night. Idk if Burb will know either fjfkgldl.)

Bird Idiots:  
Razz: PAUSE EVERYTHING!! *Marches to the corner of the basement and pulls over an extremely dusty whiteboard.* Since it’s shameful for a scientist NOT to know how monsters like skeletons reproduce, it’s clear that you need to be educated!  
Chitter: O-oh no.... it’s like seventh grade sex ed all over again.  
Razz: Clearly you didn’t pay close enough attention back then or you would already know. NOW WATCH CLOSELY!!!

Ace Idiots:  
Edge: You may refer to me as Edge, or Fell, I’m not picky.  
Ace: Can I call you “buby bones” then?  
Edge: ..... NO.

Bird World:  
*One Explanation From Razz Later.*  
Razz: And our reliance on the human dead to multiply has also led to many mythological legends. Ever heard of a “revenant ghost”? That started because some ancient human happened to catch a skeleton monster bringing life to a long dead human hoping to become a parent.  
Chitter: ..... s-so you ARE most similar to human skeletons?  
Razz: THAT’S NOT THE POINT! *Inhales deeply.* By the time we are fully developed, the original collagen has been replaced predominantly by magic. Just because the original BASE was a human skeleton, doesn’t mean we are anything LIKE those disgusting meat bags!  
Chitter: .....  
*Comic is rubbing Slim’s shoulder while this is all going on. The imagery of a pregnant skeleton with a water ballon belly and a visible fetus was enough to make him vomit without actually having a stomach. He’s still in shock about that too.*

(Slim’s having a bad time sschhnol)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: *Very embarrassed* .....ok ...ok I get it .... but it’s not like I had you reproduce like a lizard or fish monsters, okay???  
Razz: ...*Cold merciless eyelights*.... if I ever hear you do write that I will not hesitate to rip your wings off and drop you from the top of a tree.  
Chitter: *Terrified squawk.*  
Slim: How... why... why would you write that horrible horrible....... *Retches more magic up.* oh God. How would....oh fuck noooooo. Comic stop touching me please.... I can't for a bit, okay? Not after that.  
Comic: ....sorry bud.  
Burb: *Sweat dropping as Dove is looking like he is thinking too hard* .......

Ace Idiots:  
Edge: ..... you are more annoying than my Undyne..  
Ace: Awww, is da buby bones cranky?  
Edge: I have tortured and killed for less, PIDGEON!  
Bubo: Undyne, behave, I thought you better than that.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace: BUT HE STARTED IT!  
Bubo: He is the guest, Undyne.  
Edge: *Smug smirk.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god, now Chitter must come up with a story that won’t offend Razz or risk giving up on her passion.... what shall she come up with next XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(..... Razz would kill her if he knew that she was thinking of a neko-skeleton fic)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDDDD Can she make it work though?!?! As long as no nasty is there he MIGHT let it slide)

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: it would seem we got the cleanup handled for the most part. Thank you for your assistance.  
Edge: Again, I apologize for causing such destruction in the first place. *Another bow.*  
Ace: Anytime Fluffybuns!  
Edge: Seriously, how do you get away with that?  
Ace: Come on already! I’ll take you to where the others are!  
Bubo: *Had the sinking feeling he should follow in case all hell breaks loose once again.*

Chitter’s Newest (Hopefully Not Razz Provoking) Story:  
*Dove was a lonely skeleton. Ever since his brother’s sudden disappearance, he’s been falling deeper and deeper into the pits of despair. No one left to share this large, lonely house with. That is, until he happens upon something odd in an alleyway during a grocery run.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: ....... Undyne! Undyne, slow down!  
Ace: *Has been doing loops and dives to ....show off? Torment? Her passenger.* COME ON ASGORE! FLAP THOSE SILENT WINGS OF YOURS!  
Edge: YOU’RE GOING TO DUST US YOU CRAZY BITCH!  
Bubo: Edge, this is no time for that language. Undyne, I know you are excited for new friends but you have to be careful with the wingless-  
Edge: I AM NOT FRAGILE!  
Ace: BUT THEY ARE SO COOL AND CAN FIGHT SO AWESOMELY!  
Bubo: *Huff... huff.* Undyne, please treat them carefully.

Chitters Fic:  
*As Dove was leaving the store with his bags full of spaghetti ingredients, he heard a small soul wrenching cry, the tiniest of mews. He goes behind the building to find a very small skeleton, only reaching just above Dove's knee, curled up in a cardboard box. His lavender ears twitch toward Dove and his tail perks up.*  
???: Mew?  
Dove: Hello you little cutie, why are you all alone out here?

Bird Idiots:  
Razz: .......  
Slim: Oh shit. Ooooooh shit. You pressed so many of the wrong buttons.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(PFFFT oh shit Razz is gonna be pissed XD)

Razz: What? What buttons?  
Dove: Brother... I have questions.  
Burb: *Sweating even harder, trying to determine the best way to take revenge on Alphys.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: .... if we have the same reproduction as Razz..... how did we get wings? Is that why we have different species wings? Do we have to add the wings from a bird to get a healthy babybones? Would that make it like custom babybones? ....... what would .....happen if bat wings were used???  
Burb: *Oh God what even are those questions???* ..........uh. I don't.....um. *THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE.*  
Chitter: *Looks interested.* ..... Sans? I want to know too.  
Burb: *Void sockets* ....  
Razz: *Is barely comprehending at the sheer rage he is holding back.*  
Slim: ...... what if you guys actually came from, like, magical donor eggs cloning instead of test tube cloning like most of us?  
Chitter: .........omg.

Chitter Fic 5, the Fic-ening:  
*There were once five small skeletons in a playroom in a lab. None of them knew anything other than the lab they were made in*

Bird World:  
Dove: Alphys, that’s too close to the truth for some of us. Maybe ....don't?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(SHIT CHITTER XDDD She’s pining for correct info for her fic so Razz can’t be mad)

Chitter: W-wait, Razz said you are born from human skeletons. What do you mean test tubes?  
Burb: *Shit she wasn’t working at the lab when the S and P series projects were going on.*  
Dove: Ohhhhhh! Did we come from donor eggs? I want to know!  
Razz: WHAT BUTTONS DID I PRESS?!?!  
Burb: *Really wants to die right now.*

Chitter Kitty Cutie Fic Edition:  
*They were made in a peculiar way, using magic, the bone of a human, and the bone of a cat. One day, something happened. There was an accident. They had to run. It was bright and hot, and before Razz knew it, he was outside.... the lab was gone.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: MANNNN!!! I hate going back to the Underground! I can’t fly down here!  
Bubo: *Huff huff huff.* W-well, now we can take it easy on a nice leisurely stroll-  
Edge: HELL NO! YOU’RE ON MY TURF NOW TURKEY WING!!!!  
*Grabs Ace and starts doing parkour running and flips all over the place.*  
Ace: PUT ME DOWN DUMBASS! YOU’RE GONNA BREAK MY GOOD WING!!!  
Bubo: ...... *They are both toddlers and he can’t handle it.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bubo: ....*Sigh* ...children? Please settle down before you break something. Don't make me treat you like the children you're acting like. The time out wing is still an option.  
Ace: Asgooooore, no come on!  
Edge: ......the fucking what?

Bird World:  
Razz: ..... I don't have any buttons on me and I haven't done anything???  
Slim: It’s an expression humans use.  
Chitter: How were you all made then?  
Burb: *Had enough.* Alphys, that's a little personal for people you just met. They don't have to answer, and it could be a little triggering for them and hard to explain, at least for me.  
Dove: Will you tell me later brother?  
Burb: ......... sure Paps...

Chitters Fic:  
(Is it bad that I love Chitter’s fics with a passion?)

*Razz led the other children away from the lab and into the unknown territory. With only the threadbare clothes and a blanket the youngest held onto, they ventured forth.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Ace Idiots:  
Edge: LET ME GO! THIS IS INHUMANE!!!  
*Bubo is sitting on the ground, Ace trapped under one massive wing and Edge struggling under the other.*  
Ace : COME OONNNNNNNN!!!!! THIS IS EMBARRASSING!  
Bubo: I warned you multiple times, now think about what you’ve done.

Bird Idiots:  
Chitter: *Feeling guilty and wants to crawl in a garbage can.* S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask anything uncomfortable. I-I was genuinely curious.....  
Burb: It’s alright. Just keep it to yourself for now please.  
Razz: How is pressing buttons an expression?  
Slim: I was aiming it at Chitter! Not you!

Chitter Best Fic:  
*It was hard outside the lab. The five traveled cold, tired and hungry. They didn’t know that some people would mean them harm. Razz found that out the hard way.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Bubo is dad-ing the two trouble makers)

Ace Idiots:  
Edge: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH BY HOLDING ME DOWN *Struggling like it's the end of the world.*  
Bubo: It's supposed to help you think about what you have done. *Ace settles in for a while... Edge is going to be a while.*  
Ace: Hmph! At least let me text Alphys....

Fish Messsge:  
MyHero: Alph? Asgore has me in timeout. Me and the new skeleton are gonna be a while  
KissyCutie: ok. Ok! I'll let them know!

Chitter Fic:  
*The first monster they came across had pointy sharp bits on his hands that hurt. The group keeps going.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter: G-g-good news! Ace and your friend didn’t kill each other, b-but Asgore has them both in time-out so it will be a while.  
Comic: Time out?  
Chitter: Y-yeah. Asgore will sit on the ground and hold you u-under his wing for a while. You won’t be getting anywhere.  
Comic: Pfffffft!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: Red, this world's Asgore has your bro in time out right now.  
-Sharp Tooth: What do ya mean time-out?  
-Snas: Like literally pinning him on the ground with a wing so he can think about his bad behavior.  
-Sharp Tooth: BWAHAHAHA!!! I wish I could get a pic of that.

Chitter’s Gone Wild:  
*The second monster they encountered was big, white and furry. He looked friendly, so the little skeletons approached it, looking for help. What they didn’t know was this type of monster loved to eat bones.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace Idiots:  
Edge: THIS IS AN INSULT TO MY STATUS!  
Bubo: Your behavior has been an insult. You're not leaving until you're either sorry or exhausted.  
Ace: He will.

Bird Idiots:  
Razz: .... wait, I can restrain people with my wings?  
Chitter: If you’re big like Asgore, you can. I still look in stripes next to him.  
(I feel like Chitter is a shorter Alphys like a lil sparrow)  
Razz: Oh. So most Asgores pin you down at some point?  
Comic: ....what?

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: How well would your brother take being pinned?  
-SharkTooth: Not very well at all.  
-Snas: Well I hope he doesn’t kill bird Asgore.  
-Sharktooth: Bird what?  
-Snas: Also, Razz has gone native.

Chitter Fic:  
*Never has a sound been so scary. "Boof! Bork!" The little bones all rattle in terror at the thought.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Story (Are Slim, Burb, Comic, and Edge the Other Neko Skeletons?):  
*Razz steps in front of his brothers protectively, still rattling but determined to protect them from this horrific beast.*  
Horrific Beast: Borf! *Wags tail.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Chitter forgot some story points, yes they are and this is the story of how they got separated and eventually meet Dove, )

Razz: Psk! Hissssssss! Go 'way! *Thrashes his tail side to side, all poofed.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Fic:  
HB: Borf! *Bows down and hops side to side wagging its tail.*  
Edge: NO GO AWAY! *Crying.*  
(Chitter has no clue what Edge is really like so he’s baby of the group)  
Razz: *Tries scratching the monster to get it to leave.*

***  
Bird Idiots:  
Slim: ...... why are you looking at me like that?  
Razz: *Flexes false wings.* Would you mind laying on the floor. I want to try something.

***  
Bookwyrm:  
Comic: ....Chitter, I would rethink having Edge cry. He would take it about as well as Razz would you calling him short.  
Chitter: .....oh. What is he like?  
Comic: .... violent.  
Slim: ... *From under Razz’s wing.* Yeah. Violent and ......he cares but it's hard to see at all sometimes?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter: So he’s a tsundere?  
Comic: I don’t know what that is.  
Chitter: H-Hold on a second.

Chitter Revision:  
Edged: Hisss!!!!! Go away big meanie! I have my meat shield!  
*Shoves Burb in front, pulling Slim farther back.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: ...... ok that seems a lil bit like him. But more forced care.  
Slim: ......Razz, can I get up?  
Razz: No.  
Slim: .....metal wings aren't all that comfy.

Chitter fic:  
*Baby Burb is not all that thrilled to face the dog. Razz swipes his claws at the monster, slicing the nose.*

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: *Makes some coos to try and settle Edge.* You really need to relax.  
Edge: I’LL RELAX WHEN I'M DUST! *Tries clawing his way out, to no effect.*  
Ace: *Is dozing under Bubos wing.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I love that Chitter is just going over it with everyone else beta reading. I’m guessing they wanna avoid another traumatizing blow up from Razz fmsjdb)

Bubo: .....Who hurt you?  
Edge: WHAT?!  
Bubo: I can see it in your eyes, your violent temper and reaction stems from somewhere. Look, Ace has fallen asleep, yet she has as much energy as you. So, my friend, why are you so determined on staying angry?  
Edge: .... *Doesn’t know if he should be scared or impressed.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Bubo has seen into the trauma, he has had practice with Chara years ago. Also yes, skeletons are beta reading as they would really like to keep Razz from blowing up)

Edge: My universe hurt me. Don't pry, your Majesty.  
Bubo: .....*Starts humming to try and break through the angry shell.*  
Edge: ...... uuuuuuugh. Curse these sugar sweet universes!

Bird Idiots:  
Comic: Well. I believe the machine is up and running now. ....... maybe we should put up a sign with the universe keys so this doesn't happen that often?  
Dove: I WANT TO SEE A NEW UNIVERSE! *Goes and picks Razz up as if holding him guaranteed a ticket.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter: GASP! I can meet more of you?! Oh is there another me???  
Comic: Yeah.... uhhh-  
Dove: OH! I WANT TO MEET OTHER ALPHYS!  
Comic: I’m just gonna warn you right now, if Red finds out about your hobbies I’m not sure how he’s gonna respond. He has.... different taste then most of us. He might actually get a kick from the kinky stuff she wrote.

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: You’ve quieted down.  
Edge: *Drawing circles with his claw in the dirt.*  
Bubo: *More gentle humming.*  
Edge: .... it’s not a place where goodie goodies like you will last long. It’s be or be killed there, and mercy has never been offered to anyone, not even children.  
Bubo: You’d be surprised, the kinds of things that happen in this “happy universe.” Over the centuries, I’ve seen it first hand more then I can count.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitters Fic:  
*The beast cowers back at being hurt.*  
Razz: Hissssss! Y-yeah that’s right! Back off or I’ll chase you down!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Okay a tiny lavender kitty Razz puffed up and adorably pissed is giving me a smile)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Ace Idiots:  
Edge: Hm... compared to mine it is.  
Bubo: But you have your alternates to be soft with. You all seem to be close.  
Edge: .... it’s easy to forget cultural differences and just what they can't understand.  
Bubo: Hmmmmmmm...... sounds like a family.

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: *Sent 5 files.*  
-Shark Tooth: …. what the hell is this and who do I thank?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Hissy Razz Neko XD I sketched him cuzz it sounded adorable)  


***  
Bookwyrm  
(HE SO FLOOFY AAAAAAAAh! Look at him! He is so mad and adorable)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Someone tried picking up the baby, but he’s too tough for that)

***  
Bookwyrm

(This is what happened)

***  
HomeHawk12  
( TCHBHKJRW IT ISSSSSSSS!!!! Holy crap that is one Chonky boy I can’t XDDDDD)

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: Would you like to meet the author?  
-Shark Tooth: HELL YES!!!

Ace Idiots:  
Edge: I.... tried to open up and was told I was going soft..... I would get myself killed, and he is entirely right.... it’s just disappointing to accept.  
Bubo: Hmmmmmm....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .... being soft in the Underground painted a target on your family. If you weren't the meanest bastard, you were targeted. Especially the Royal Guard and having to enforce food regulation. Razz is quite the skeleton if you think about how he was Captain while providing everything on his own for a weakling monster. I couldn't imagine it was easy.......

(Bubo-dad getting Edge to spill his feelings!)

Bird Idiots:  
Comic: Alright, looks like Red wants to meet you Chitter.  
Chitter: M-m-me???  
Comic: Yeah. He's probably worried ‘bout Edge too.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(OK but .... neko Slim is a Scottish fold? Neko Edge being an abyssinian or bengal. Burb is a Bombay? Comic being floofy like Razz?)  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(Comic is a rag doll, big, floofy and will literally turn to jelly when someone picks him up sfjbcszs)

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: You shouldn’t sell yourself short either. You were Lieutenant of your Royal Guard, yes?  
Edge: Correct, but my older brother was always there to help me.... I don’t know how he did it either…

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Edgy getting dad time. ....Ace is staying quiet)  
Swap House:  
Red: *Sees the portal Comic opened. Time to see the lizard with a death wish.*

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: ........ well. I think its time we get going .... but feel free to come for tea Edge.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: .... tea actually sounds lovely.  
Bubo: Wake up Undyne. Time out is over.  
Ace: Wha? *Sits up and yawns.* We going now? Cool.

Bird Idiots:  
*The others walk through the activated rift, Chitter seeing Red and getting a sudden burst of inspiration.*

Back to the Fic:  
*The skeletons escape from the beast, rain starting to fall from the sky chilling all of them to the bones. They camp out behind a restaurant, huddled under their tiny ripped up blanket shivering. The back door opens, a heavier set skeleton exiting with a garbage bag in hand.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Is this a Red x Dove? Chitter has it for the fangy boys)

***  
Bookwyrm  
*Chitter is too embarrassed to speak words when Red gives her that smirk.*  
Comic: Yeah yeah Red, we get it. You’re a lady killer, c'mon we gotta get yer bro before the Asgore adopts him  
Red: .....excuse me what?  
Chitter: .......lady killer?

Ace Idiots:  
Bubo: .....Undyne, don't dive like that. You know better than to do that with a passenger  
Ace: *Has a new fighting buddy, is not being professional. * Awwwwww! But he's so much fun!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude she has it HARD for them Fells ghvggjj Plus Red gets a kick from her stuff so less chance of him murdering her XP)

*Edge has resigned himself while the cavern has enough ceiling to fly, not wanting another daddy/son talk so soon.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird Idiots:  
*Red grins like demon when he sees Ace princess carrying Edge.*  
*Chitter has a nose bleed.*

Bubo: .....this is...quite the number of skeletons. All....wingless?

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter fic:  
Red stops as he sees the tiny skeletons, Razz being the one on watch at the moment. .............. there's some chicken that needs used up anyway..... should make a good meal for the tiny kitties.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Red quickly takes a pic of the bridal style carry and emails it to himself just in case Edge smashes the phone. Chitter, of course, has a moment of inspiration.*

Chitter has Obsession With Certain Themes:  
Razz: HISSSS! *Swipes at Red like he had with the dog.*  
Red: Relax kitty. Just thought ya would be hungry. *Tosses the wings at Razz, the small Neko taking a minute to pick up the now soggy bag and rushing over to his brothers. Three of them pounce on the bag, being there first meal in a few. Edge was much slower and more lethargic, coughing and looking unwell.*  
Red: Shit..... probably shouldn't leave the sick one out.... Which means I can't leave the other ones out either.....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter Really Should be Careful My God You Horny Girl Fic:  
*Red tempts the kitties inside with chicken bits and a large bowl of chicken broth. Razz keeps spatting at him but otherwise the cold kittens enjoy the warmth of the kitchen. Red lays down he fluffy jacket, its big enough to squeeze all the kittens in. Red ends up picking Edge up and putting him by the bowl and on the jacket. Comic and Razz as the fluffiest kitties could only do so much to keep the less fluffy brothers warm in the cold outdoors. Razz keeps his grumpy protests up even in his sleep.*

Bird Idiots:  
Bubo: .... ah hello. I am Asgore. I have been told nicknames are needed? You may call me Bubo.  
Razz: *Takes one look at the very large monster framed by large wings* ......... hello your Majesty. *Isn’t letting Slim up yet.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Quick question, are they literal skeleton cats or regular skeletons with cat ears and tail?)

Bubo: Both Ace and Edge have had nothing but good things to say about you.  
Razz: *Blinks*..... Really?  
*Looks behind Bubo to see Edge trying to fight his way from Ace’s grasp to get to his brother’s phone. Why were these words making him feel warm?*

Chitter Decides to Make the Fic Cuter:  
*Red comes back after closing down his bar for the evening to check on the brood of cats. Most of them are snuggled into his jacket completely dead to the world. Edge is coughing, shivering and struggling while Razz is trying to warm him up with his own fur and mewing.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The Razz you did was too cute. I'm thinking just smol skeletons with the ears and tails. Very cat but still skeletons. Kiddos that need some socializing.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(got it!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Like smol enough that Red could with effort hold all of them in his arms, bebby kitties)

Red: Hey! No! Not the phone! *Is putting up a fuss to lull Edge into thinking the phone is the only thing with the picture.* I need those vacation photos!  
Edge: SANS YOU DELETE THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(So kind of the height the characters in the Cats remake were XP)

Chitter Cuteness Countinued:  
Red: Ah shit.... *Scratches the back of his neck trying to think. He could mix some cough medicine into some warm milk. Might need to spoon feed it to the child. He also had some spare towels to wrap the child/cat up in.*  
*Red approaches to pick up the sick one, Razz hissing again.*  
Red: Hey now, I'm just trying to help. You can come too.

Bird Idiots:  
Edge: *Deletes the photo and throws the phone in his brother’s face.*  
Axe: *Comes through the machine next.* Dang, nice wings other me.  
Burb: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of digging the head hole, and that you have a cat living in it.  
LH: MEOW!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(That is a cursed film and even i a crazy cat lady can't get myself to watch)  
(Did Axe follow Red like a kid that didn’t want to be the only one left?)

Razz: Lord Hater you know better than that! Why do you insist on getting inside skulls? First the blaster and now another Sans?!  
Axe: Eh. Easier than a cat carrier.

Chitter Fic:  
*Razz's ears stay flat as he escorts Red to get some medication, the other three left to snuggle in the jacket.*  
Red: Alright, this is gonna taste a little nasty, but it will help heal em. *Doesn’t realize he is petting Edge’s ears*  
Razz: *Puffs up, ears flatter, highest squeaky voice.* ........... ok.  
Red : Hey kiddo, so you do talk.  
Razz: *High pitched kitten growls.* Nu.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yep, he was feeling curious by all the feathers and immediately thought of chicken wings and had to enter)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Flitters:  
Red: So, where did ya come from?  
Razz: I said I nu talk!!!  
Red: Alright, aright already. Ya don't talk, got it.  
Edge: Achu! Achu! *Tiny kitten sneezes.*  
Red: Okay bud. Just drink this and you’ll start feeling better.  
Edge *Sniffs it and gags.*  
Edge: Nu! *Cough cough.*  
Red: You won't get better without it.  
Edge: Nuuuu! *Achu!* Gross!  
Razz: Eat! Eat! It's good! *Desperate now.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird Idiots:  
Red: Huh, so that's what ya meant by Razz going feral. *Red mentions to Comic seeing fake wings still holding Slim on the ground.*  
Comic: Yep. He’s been legit flying around too.  
Red: Huh.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I am NOT feral! I just didn't know how long I'd be here! AND I refuse to be carried around everywhere!  
Red: I dunno. Sounds like a good deal to me.  
Comic: It was nice tibia honest.  
Slim: .....can I please get up now?  
Razz: .... no.  
Slim: ......Razz. come on.  
Bubo: *Slowly walks to Razz and picks him up, gently holding the wings in place.* Now that's not the way to treat others, my child.  
Razz: *Is fucking pissed.* LET ME GO I AM NOT A CHILD AND I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS SLANDER EVEN FROM A KING! *Razz can't reach to bite or kick, his arms pinned from the wings*

Chitter Ficc:  
Red: Don’t make me force it in kiddo. Eat it.  
Edge: *Weak hiss.*  
Razz: *Looks worried*  
Red: *Pushes at the joint of the jaw and puts the spoon in his teeth.* And that’s not coming out until you swallow. We can sit here all night.  
Razz: *Nervous claw kneading.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird Idiots:  
Razz: LET ME UP YOU OVERGROWN CHICKEN!!!  
*Bubo now has Razz pinned under his own wing, Razz struggling while the others snicker.*  
Bubo: Not until you apologise or calm down.  
Razz: BITE ME!!!!  
Bubo: Not as creative as Edge’s answer....

Chitter Thic Fic:  
Edge: *Whines and cries tears trying to get his way, while Razz continues to knead worriedly.*  
Red: As I said pal, we can do this all night.  
Razz: Please! Please swalluw! *Razz looks about ready to cry too.*  
Edge: Nu- ACHO! *Edge sneezes into the spoon, accidentally inhaling the fluid when he sniffles and swallowing the whole thing, coughing uncontrollable after.*  
Red: See? That wasn’t too hard now was it?  
Edge:* Continues hacking and crying uncontrollably.*  
Red: Jesus kid, you’re breaking my balls here.  
Razz: Halp him!  
Red: Alright, alright. Honestly not sure if I should take you all to my place or stay the night with you here.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Bebby Razz is a lil nugget and I love him)

Bird Idiots:  
Razz: *HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH PEOPLE PICKING HIM UP!* Grrrr….. *Heavily breathing.*  
Slim: Oh shit. Oh shit you should really let him go.  
Bubo: Nonsense. He just needs some time to cool off-  
Razz: *Summons a bone to give his foot leverage to push himself up, allowing him to bite the shit out of asgore's wing, the giant grabby fuck!*

Chitters Fic:  
Red: *Holds the small bebby at his shoulder to pat the tiny back.* Shh....shhh.  
Edge: *A few more weak coughs and finally he stops, exhausted.*  
Razz: *Reaches up on his tippy toes to pat at Edge* .......bewter?  
Red: For a little bit, then he will need more later.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird Idiots:  
*Bubo suddenly summons his trident and holds the tip mere centimetres from Razz’s face, much to the former Captain’s surprise. Apparently he only managed to bite down on a mouthful of flight feathers.*  
Bubo: You are too angry and out of control. If you are willing to bite me of all monsters, I will keep you here indefinitely until I can guarantee the safety of my people. Even if you naw both my wings off, I will keep you here. Understood?  
*Ace’s jaw dropped open, along with most everyone else’s. It was unclear if it was due to Razz’s actions or how cool Asgore played the whole thing.*

Chitter Ficcc:  
Red: Alright, I don’t have all the supplies to treat a sick kid here for long. Thankfully, I live right across the street, we just need to face the storm.  
*Lightning flashes outside, Razz flinching but soon nodding with resolve to help his sibling.*  
Red: Good. I’ll carry your friends, if you sit on my shoulder and hold the umbrella.  
Razz: Ok, Jus halp him pwease.  
Red: Heh. It’s what I’ve been doing the whole time.

(Beby nugget Razz is bravest boi)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz is totally burned out and really just needs some alone time. The guy has had a rough few days especially for a Fell.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is silent as his eyelights seem to be blazing with restrained anger and frustration. Razz has had a near death experience, fever humiliation, emotional fights, and PEOPLE KEEP PICKING HIM UP!........... he is very on edge of flipping his shit.*  
Asgore: *Holds eye contact with Razz, watching the internal struggle to keep composure.*  
Slim: *Isn’t exactly used to seeing Razz so wound tight.*  
*Most of the Tales are shocked.*  
Red: Shit, who wound Razzle’s coil up? He looks like he's gonna blow any time. Like damn, could cut a bitch on how stiff he is.  
Edge: *Is a bit shocked the Royal Captain Razz would lose his cool like that.*  
Axe: Heh .... he kinda looks like Fish Bitch before she took a swipe at me 'n Paps. * LH is peeking out of his dead socket.*

Chitter fic:  
*Red takes the kittens home and sets them up on the couch. Comic never even stirred as he was adjusted and moved.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Digs both claws into the concrete leaving deep ruts trying his best to NOT summon a blaster and obliterate all of Axe’s body below the neck. Damn him for holding Lord Hater hostage!*  
Razz: *Shakey, enraged exhale.* Look. I’ve had a series of very LONG, very SUCKY days all in a God damn row. My pride and self worth have been kicked and mauled repeatedly until inverting into a black hole of confusion, hurt, and nonstop agony. I just want to go home, grab a cup of tea, and snuggle up with my cat and NOT deal with this interdimensional bullshit and all the crazies of it for FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES!!!! BUT APPARENTLY MY CAT IS A TRAITOR TOO!!!! GOD DAMNIT!!!!! EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO ’KICK ME IN THE DICK’ AS THEY SAY! AND NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO A GODDAMN THING I ASK!!!! BEING PICKED UP CONSTANTLY, BEING THE BUTT OF SO MANY SEX AND HEIGHT JOKES DESPITE ME POLITELY ASKING FOR EVERYONE TO CEASE, AND HAVING MY PROFESSION AND CRAFT MOCKED IN THE MOST DISGUSTING OF WAYS!!!! AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE HORNEY MALE PREGNANCY BULLSHIT!!! IT. NEVER. FUCKING. STOPS!!!!!!! *Slams his forehead into the concrete repeatedly between these words resulting in cracking sounds, presumably from the concrete. It was the last thing he could take his frustration out on without apparently causing a risk to anyone else.*

(Razz just needs a nice, normal vacation and a good nap without waking up to his crazy alternates.)

Chitter Anthology Continues:  
*With the other three kitty children, Red starts a fire in the fireplace. Razz grabs the offered blankets, offering some to the siblings that did wake up at being moved, and making sure Edge was bundled up and warm. He stays up the whole time trying to comfort Edge whenever he wakes up and starts coughing or crying from sickness again, despite looking ready to drop himself.*  
Red: You should get to bed kiddo. You’ll end up in worse shape than your bro.  
*Razz shakes his head.*  
Razz: Nu. Not tired. *Tries to hide yawn.*


	19. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More kitties! and Razz decided to take a nap. Red finds disciples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick nickname rundown:  
> Comic: UT Sans  
> Rus: UT Papyrus  
> Blue: US Sans  
> Stretch: US Papyrus  
> Red: UF Sans  
> Edge: UF Papyrus  
> Razz: SF Sans  
> Slim: SF Papyrus  
> Axe: HT Sans  
> Traps: HT Papyrus  
> Burb: Birdtale Sans  
> Dove: Birdtale Papyrus  
> Chitter: Birdtale Alphys  
> Ace: Birdtale Undyne  
> Bubo: Birdtale Asgore

Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Tiredly just lays limp. He is so fucking done at the moment and really doesn't enjoy long exposure to alternates, small doses are okay.* Can someone PLEASE tell me the code for MY DAMN UNIVERSE?  
Slim: *Is a BIT concerned* ..... I can tell you.  
Razz: I would like at least a week, preferably longer, WITHOUT MULTIVERSE SHIT.  
LH: MEOW!  
Razz: You don't get to talk, traitor.  
Bubo: ....... *Has pieced together that there is more than just a tantrum going on.*

Chitter Really Is Tempting Razz's Rage with Smol Pouty Kitty and Edge Hasn't Experienced it Yet:  
Red: Hey, come on... *Slowly reaches to pet between Razz’s ears.*  
Razz: *Freezes with a growl at the touch.*  
(Now because Chitter has seen Axe.......)  
*A flop is heard from another room as a older skele cat missing an ear shambles into the room.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird Idiots:  
Bubo: Could somebody please set up the portal to his home world? I believe our friend is in need of some personal space.  
Slim: Y-yeah! Got it! *Rushes over to the machine.*  
Slim: C-could you come over here bro? I should really show you how to input a new code before using it.  
Razz: It was easier when you had the thing preset...

Chitter’s Ever Growing Universe:  
Axe: Meow.  
Razz: HISSSSS!!! *Postures up and poofs his tail out to ridiculous levels.*  
Red: Hey now, he likes new friends, don't ya Axe?  
Axe: Meow. *Hop up and sniffs at the cuddled sleeping ones.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird Idiots:  
Razz: *Is gently let go* ...how do I get the wings off?  
Chitter: I-I-I c-can help.

Chitter Needs a New Keyboard:  
*The larger Axe pretty much lays on the cuddle pile.*  
*Razz is all bottle brush tail and flat ears.*  
*Red scruffs the tiny angry baby to keep him from attacking.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Bird Idiots:  
Chitter: And.... They are off.  
Razz: That feels so much better. *Rolls his shoulders and spine producing several loud cracking sounds.* If anyone wants to try them go for it. I’m done flying for a while.  
Edge: *Just now being informed that the wings actually let him fly*. Wait, those things work?  
Razz: Yep, if you wanna give it a go, you are more than welcome.  
Edge: *Remembers their flying car project and is a little sad Razz may not want to work on it with him anymore since he already experienced flight.*

Chitter Will Need a New Touch Screen for Her Phone Soon too:  
Red: You don’t need to be a shit all the time, you know that?  
Razz: HISSSS! *Wakes Edge accidentally.*  
Edge: N-Nyeh? *Hic.... Couch Cough, repeated sneezing.* Bruddah? *Cough.* My mouth huts....  
Red: Probably time for more medicine.  
Edge: *Baby hiss.*  
Red: Hmmm.... tell ya what. If you can drink all the medicine on the spoon without a fuss, I’ll give you some warm milk right afterwards.  
Edge: *Sniffle.* W-Whas warm milk?  
Red: Ohhh pal, allow me to change your life.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird Idiots:  
Chitter: Um, Edge? Don't put that on! Um uh… it’s made for Sans sizes. I-I don't even know if it would be a good idea for the larger Sanses like Axe. I would have to make one for Papyrus sizes.....and take a look at Dove’s wings.  
Dove: .... you aren't just saying that for research for your fiction are you?  
Razz: ....the wings were cool.... but they would never make it to the moon. *Portal opens and Razz all but flings himself and LH at it.*  
Chitter: ?????

Chitter Will Need so Much Storage:  
Razz: Bilut I dun want him to change! *Sad kitty eyes.*  
Red: It’s an expression fluffy. Skele-kids need calcium and yer gonna love this.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(XDDDDD It took me a minute to realize what baby Razz meant and my heart just melted)

Bird Idiots:  
Edge: *Brain has gone into overdrive, cranking out what all he would need to get a life sized car flying as quickly as possible, and what type of car they would like for the body.*  
Slim: *Starts up the machine after a cool down period to bring everyone to Underswap.* Do you guys want to meet the other?

Chitter Drabbles:  
Red: Good job on the meds kid. Here’s what I promised. *Produces two shot glasses full of steamy warm milk.*  
*Razz sniffs his cautiously, while Edge is intrigued by the smell and has a sip. His sockets double in size and he chugs the whole thing.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bird Idiots:  
Edge: .....Red. I need your science on something when we get home.  
Red: .....uh....ok?  
Chitter: I wanna meet more skeletons!  
Dove: Are you sure it's fine for us to come?

Chitter Addiction:  
*Razz takes kitten licks, all dainty until Edge begs for more, than he gives his over to Edge.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: *Kicks in the door to his apartment.* THANK STARS I’M HOMMMMME!!!!!  
*Drops Lord Hater on the ground and sets some water to boil, collapsing face first on the couch. Time to recharge the batteries.*

Underswap:  
*Blue sees the portal activate, a whole lot of monsters stepping through, none of them being Razz.*  
Blue: *Sudden panic.* W-where’s Razz?  
Red: Idiot wanted to go home. You shoulda seen how wound up he was. Literally thought his head would explode.  
Blue: *Fearing he might still be angry over their fight.*

Chitter’s Ficcccc, Having Met More Skeletons:  
Red: Heh, you’re really into the whole sharing thing aren’t ya? You know I have enough milk for everyone.  
Razz: HISSSSSS!!!!!  
Red: Heh. Stupid ankle biter. *Looks Razz up and down, now realising he was basically wearing a muddy, ripped up patient gown, and so were the others.* Hmmmm.... I should probably call my incredibly gay friend Blue. He’s probably got baby sized clothes and shit already.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Razz: .....I forgot to put a burrito in the microwave damn it.  
LH: Meow!  
Razz: .....damn it, Slim has your stuff at Blue’s. .......want a burrito?

Underswap:  
Blue: A-are you sure Razz is alright? He was really angry when he left.  
Dove: *Finding the place cramped with his wings.* Oh goodness look at you. You look like Razz.  
Chitter: *Ducked under Burb’s wing.* Oh, Razz wasn't kidding when he said wings would be a hindrance here.  
Blue: Slim???  
Slim: He just needs some quiet time-OOF *Gets hit with a stray wing.*  
Blue: I still am worried!

Chitter Fic:  
Red: My super gay friend that loves babies and is a total mom. That's my friend. You guys need a bath. I know the guy to do it.  
Razz: Psk!  
Red: Yeah yeah squirt. I know, so terrible.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: *Pulls two burritos out of the microwave, setting the table for two and letting Lord Hater have the one, and a bowl of water since his dish was gone.*  
Razz: You’re lucky Slim didn’t take your other litter box too. Remind me why I let you have two again?  
LH: Meow!  
Razz: Whatever.

Underswap:  
Blue: Do you think you can tuck those on your shoulders or something? I don’t want to be rude, but it might make navigating a little easier.  
Dove: You mean over our shoulders like bats?  
Blue: I mean, it couldn’t hurt to try.

Chitter Fic:  
*Red sends a message to Blue and falls asleep on his arm chair. It’s barely 8 am when he gets excited knocking on the front door.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Razz: I don't even know WHY it's recommended to have one more litter box than cats.  
LH: *At the setting, batting at the silverware.* Mew.  
Razz: .......... thats not good table manners.

Underswap:  
Dove: ......*Manages to get his wings tucked, but it limits his arm mobility* ..... Wowie, this is uncomfortable. But! I will persevere! I heard there was a gauntlet I must try.  
Chitter: *Has an easier time and gets her wings on her back entirely.*  
Blue: It’s outside....um.... I don't know your nickname.....  
Dove: I chose Dove! And this is Chitter, Burb, and Ace!  
Ace: Where are the skeletons that like to fight! I wanna compare them!

Chitter fic:  
Red: *Opens the door and is greeted with the super gay Blue, holding little outfits.*  
Blue: WHERE ARE THE BABIES?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Shittttt the app quite on me and I lost all the stuff I typed DX gotta redo it all)

Underswap:  
Rus: *Looks down the basement doorway seeing all these monsters he wasn’t expecting.*  
Comic: Sup bro? How’s lunch coming along?  
Rus: ..... OH NO! I NEED TO DOUBLE THE SPAGHETTI RECIPE! TRAPS GET THE BIG POT!!!!

Swapfell:  
Razz: That was very satisfying.  
LH: Meow!  
Razz: A movie would be good right now. Should we watch Blazing Saddles or Nightmare on Elm Street?  
LH: Meow!  
Razz: Both it is then.

Chitter Got That Baby Fever:  
Blue: WHERE ARE THESE ANGELS! *Rushes past Red, also carrying a stuffed tote full of all sorts of baby stuff. Spots them on the sofa. The group in Red’s jacket mostly wake up at the noise he makes. Edge is coughing in his sleep while an exhausted Razz holds him closely, still dead to the world.*  
Blue: STARS THEY ARE FILTHY! *Picks up Comic, the Neko flopping limp like a rag doll.* WHERE DID YOU PULL THEM FROM? THE TRASH????  
Red: Next to it actually.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: WELL! THANKFULLY I BOUGHT EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED TO BRING NEW LIFE TOO THIS GROUP! WHO LIKE BUBBLES!!!!! RED START RUNNING THE BATH!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Rus: SLIM! I NEED YOU TO ENTERTAIN THE NEW PEOPLE AS I NEED TO DO MORE FOR LUNCH, BLUE WHERE ARE YOUR EXTRA PLACEMATS?  
Blue: PAPY ACCIDENTALLY BURNT THEM SO I THREW THEM OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO  
Ace: WHO WANTS TO FIGHT! LIL BLUE GUY? TALL ORANGE GUYS?  
Traps: Oh! I WILL AFTER LUNCH!  
Axe: The fucking what?

Swapfell:  
Razz: ...... dammit, Blue was right about the snuggie. *petting LOrd Hater on the couch during movies.*

Chitter Wants Babybones and the Skeletons Don’t Seem to be Making Them Anytime Soon:  
Red: Hey! Careful with the floppy ones!  
Blue: Red I love them and they are my babies now.  
Red: They have fur, did you bring any baby combs?  
Blue: Yes I did, and little outfits with tail holes.  
Axe: *Rolls over to lay with the remaining kitties.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: .....zzzzzz..... *Fell asleep in the middle of his first movie, LH all cozy on his chest while he is cuddled into the Snuggie Blue gave him.*

Chitter’s Chatter:  
*Blue leans over and sniffs Axe.*  
Blue: GROSS! YOUR CAT NEEDS A BATH TOO!  
Red: It’s a skeleton, and a cat. It doesn’t need to bathe.  
Blue: ALL I AM HEARING IS EXCUSES!!! *Scoops up the three lazy kittens and heads to the bathroom, Axe getting up to follow out of curiosity.*  
BLUE: COME LITTLE ANGELS! LET’S GET YOU CLEANED UP AND READY FOR NORMAL SOCIETY!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Blue: Rus! We should have enough noodles from the last time you cooked and enough beef from my taco supplies. I keep at least 3 pounds extra at all times! Slim, you can pass entertaining over to Edge. Can you check on your brother for me?  
Slim: .....uum.....I.....guess?

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Is snoozing away, finally having a good break. He has work tomorrow!*

Chitters Chatter:  
Blue: OH MY GOSH LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE FOLDED EARS!  
Slim: ....mrrph?  
Blue: You are all my babies now.  
Red: ....uh. I'd take that up with their little leader.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Slim: *Opens the door to Razz’s apartment.*  
Slim: Bro? You okay? *Steps farther in, finding his brother snoring and completely dead to the world. With Lord Hater on his chest. He looks exhausted and rougher than he should, but overall not dying.* .... shit. I forgot to bring the cat stuff back.

Private Chat:  
Trim ‘n’ Slim: Bro is alive. Not talking much though. May have to reclassify him as a lazy.  
*Sends pic of him sleeping.*  
BlueBird: ..... is it bad I feel jealous?

Chitter Chatter:  
*Bath tub filling up with soap around the lazies while Blue has a sponge on Burb.*  
Blue: Which one is the leader?  
Red: Still sleeping on the sofa with the sick one.  
Blue: Well don’t leave those babies unattended! I’ll wash these babies and take care of the other two after they rest for a while.  
Comic: ... ACHO. *Sneezes on bubbles getting caught in his nasal cavity.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Slim: ..... *retrieves the cat stuff, goes to see how the birds are doing on the course-*  
Ace: WHY CAN'T I USE MY WINGS?  
Edge: THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE GAUNTLET!

Blue: I hope the bird monsters enjoy the food. They look great to cuddle with!  
Rus: I am sure they will love it!  
Traps: I made sure the sauce is good!

Chitter Chat:  
Blue: OH YOU PRECIOUS THING! *Smooshes the cheekers on Comic.*  
Comic: Mew.  
Red: *Returns to find Razz having a nightmare.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Baby kitty Razzy noooooo)

Underswap:  
Red: So, you're the flying lizard with a death wish.  
Chitter: Eep!  
Red: Heheh, I must say I’m impressed. After the others said Razz completely went ballistic over your smut, I figured he’d rip ya limb from limb. How’d ya survive?  
Chitter: He..... g-gave me a detailed lesson on skeleton reproduction....  
Red: .... PFFFTT! BWAHAHAHA!!! *Doubles over from laughter, Chitter blushing like crazy.*

Chitter Chatter:  
*Razz’s ears are twitching and he’s whimpering in distress.*  
Red: Hey little shit. It’s alright. *Gently strokes his ear.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Red: Health class saved yer life! *cackles like mad.*  
Chitter: I-I think he liked me after I made him wings......  
Red: Yeah... that might curb the lil hellion's rage.... heh heh.  
Ace: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO ALL THE SPACES ARE TOO SMALL!  
Edge: IT WASN'T MADE FOR YOUR FAT CHICKEN WINGS!  
Red: ....dammit... that another Undyne? ..... our house can't take all these friendships.

Chitter Chat:  
Razz: *Distressed mew.*  
Red: Come on lil pest. *Rubs Razz’s head.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Underswap:  
Chitter: S-so you.... don’t want to string me up by my wings and fry me for those stories I made?  
Red: BAHAHAHA! Are ya kidding me? Those were hilarious!  
Chitter: W-what? *Slightly offended.*  
Red: The best laugh I’ve had in ages, before just now anyway. You’re inexperience in the bedroom is so painfully obvious. *Can’t stop cracking up!*  
Chitter: H-H-How would you know! R-Razz said you don’t reproduce that way!  
Red: *Laughter slowly dying down.* Kid, reproduction and kinks don’t have as much ta do with each other as ya might think. You just brought it up around the wrong skeletons.  
Chitter: What do you mean?  
Red: *Pats her shoulder almost sympathetic.* Allow me to give ya a lesson in foreplay.

Chitter Twitter:  
*Razz clamps his clawed fingers around Red’s hand as he strokes, hugging him tightly.*  
Red: Alright kid. That’s a little much-  
Razz: *Whimper*  
Red: Little stupid shit... *Sits on the couch next to them since he’s not getting his arm back any time soon.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Chatter:  
*Red somehow goes from simply letting Razz hold his arm hostage, to cradling the little devil.*  
Edge: Nyeh? *Cough cough.* *Looks around confused why his snuggle buddy was gone, finally noticing he was in Red’s arm.*  
Red: Mornin’ squirt. How ya feeling?  
*Edge shimmies over trying to get a look at his brother.*  
Edge: Wha he doin?  
Red: Sleeping, obviously.  
Edge: ..... up too!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Under swap:  
Chitter: .......you can do all that WITHOUT GENITALS?  
Red: Some of the many ways I sweep women off their feet.  
Chitter: Could-could you make a list?  
Rus: RED STOP WITH THE SEXUCATION AND HELP US GET ACE UNSTUCK FROM THE PIPE PLEASE.  
Red: I’m comin'......

Chitter Chirps:  
*Red is now cradling two kitties when Blue comes to swap babies out. Axe thumps his way to Red’s lap too.*  
Blue: RED! How am I to wash them now?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Chirper:  
Red: I don’t know! I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to move a sleeping cat or some shit.  
Blue: Well I have to get them clean somehow! Wait.....  
Red: .... what? Why are you looking at me like that???  
......  
*Blue dumps a fully clothed Red in the bubbly tub along with the babybones in his arms and Axe.*  
Red: *Bubbles are foaming out of his sockets, little Edge waking up and trying to pop them, switching between giggles and hard coughing.*  
Red: ..... I hate you so much Blue..... with every fiber of my being.  
Blue: LESS TALKING AND MORE SCRUBBING!  
Axe: Meow. *Pokes his head out of the water coming up with a bubble wig.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Under swap:  
Red: Well, that was a pain and a half.  
Ace: MAKE YOUR HOOPS BIGGER NEXT TIME!!!!  
Edge: I TOLD YOU TO TUCK YOUR WINGS IN!  
Chitter: S-so.... ummmm.... do you have experience with..... m-men too?  
Red: Oh Titters.  
Chitter: I-it’s Chitter.  
Red: Same difference. The point is, most of the time when I’m dealing with dudes though, they like to be the top dog, the rules of subbing are a bit different.  
Chitter: *Notepad in hand.* TELL ME EVERYTHING.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter Chirps:  
Razz: *HISSING AND SPITTING LIKE MAD, OH HIS TAIL IS WET!*  
Red: Careful you little rodent! You'll get water in your ears! DAMN YOU BLUE!

Underswap:  
Red: Now depending on a guys preference, they usually like to control. But sometimes you get one that likes to be played like a fiddle. That's always fun. Also women that take what they want. Fun times. Swap Muffet is a great time. Titter, you haven't seen the light yet.  
Chitter: Ooooooh my gosh.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Underswap:  
Stretch: Hey guys, so you're the other.... What are you guys doing? *Chitter is scribbling in a notebook leaving smoke burns in her speed, and Red looks like the cockiest ass imaginable.*  
Red: Oh, not too much, just telling my new friend here the ins and outs of, well, the word you don’t like me saying.  
Chitter: GASP! You are into it too?!?!  
Stretch: *Turning bright orange.* Red you said you wouldn’t!  
Red: First off, I haven’t made any jokes yet. Second, if I helped you wind Razz up anymore today then he already was when we parted ways, I’m pretty sure there wouldn't be a house anymore.  
Stretch: Wait, What?  
Red: Not my fault you weren’t there to see Bubo holding Razz on the ground with a wing.  
Stretch: ......  
Chitter: S-so.... what was the “stage two” you mentioned?  
Red: Oh yes! I was going to explain toys, but ya know what, since I have an audience now, we could all stop at my place and I’ll show you some real tools of the trade.  
Stretch: God No-  
Chitter: YESSSS!!!!! *Grabs Stretch’s arm excitedly and hops.*  
Red: Heh, don’t worry, I’ll show ya exactly how ta spice up you and Fish Bitch’s bedroom life.  
*Chitter drags Stretch down to the basement with her and Red, the machine going off indicating their exit.*

Chitter Chats:  
Blue: I will wash you little tiny one! *Takes Edge from Red so the other can focus on his violent charge*  
Edge: Nyeh! *Hissssss- cough cough cough.*  
Blue: You poor thing! Don’t worry you’ll be feeling much better very soon!  
Edge: *Ignores Blue for the most part in favor of these odd white circular things. What were they? And why were they so poofy and fun?!*  
Razz: Hisssss! *Bites down hard on Red’s hand when he lowers him chest deep into the water.*  
Red: OUCH! Ohhhhh, you like playing rough little shit? let’s see how rough you play with coconut scented baby shampoo! *Dumps a big glob on Razz’s head. He tries to let go and run but Red grabs him by the neck vertebra.*  
Red: Nope. You’re the one that made this difficult. sadly for you I’m all to happy at oblige

(First time I ever surpassed the text limit in discord. I had to delete a few lines XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Congrats!)

Fell House:  
Red: Titter, imma break your vanilla little mind.  
Stretch: I want no part of this!  
Chitter: *The most serious face* Teach me, senpai.

Chitter Fic:  
Razz: HIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! *CLAWS OF PAIN AND FURY!*  
Red: *Easily snatches the claws of fury and scrubs the lil guy down.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
*Stretch is now chained and unable to get the machine (all Chitter’s fault, not Red’s).*  
Red: And this is my tool bag. Be warned. The things in here will change the way you think forever.  
Stretch: I swear to god if it’s nothing but glitter!

Chitter Chub Chats:  
Edge: *Having a great time with bubble mustaches.* Nyeheheh- *Cough hack cough cough!*  
Razz: *Stops his angry hissing at his brother's distress.*  
Red: There we go. Now hold still till I clean your vertebra.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter’s Lady Boner for Skeletons Chat:  
*Razz is now fighting Red to get to Edge.*  
Red: *With his strong yet gentle “muscles.”* now come on!  
Razz: *Mewls for Edge.*  
Blue: *Is still hella gay.* Red! Where's your flannels? The babies need more blankets!  
Red: Closet!  
Blue: You need to get more than just plaids Red!  
Red: Tell someone who cares! OUCH!  
Razz: *Has crunched down on Red’s hand.* Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Fell House:  
Stretch: Hey Chitter! Lemme go!  
Chitter: But you’re the only other skeleton that has sexual desire!  
Stretch: I DO NOT CONSENT.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(God dammit that got me giggling like an idiot XD did Blue take Edge out of the bath?)

(Also I can't wait for Red’s talks with Stretch to get published. That’s gonna be a treat fmfkfjfnd)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Been painting but should have time to finish a segment tonight  
(Wanna see a wip?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Nice! Also, I would love to see your WIP!)

***  
Bookyrm

***  
HomeHawk12

(KITTY!!!! It looks so good I love it!)

  
Chitter Needs Skeleton Cuddles:  
Red: WE’RE DONE! Jesus Christ kid you made that take forever.  
Razz: OUTTTTTT!!!! MWAHAAAA! *Starts bawling in pure frustration at his brother being outside the bathroom.*  
Red: Alright, I’m going. *Stands up, his cloths dripping from being in the tub water* DAMMIT BLUE!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell House:  
*Stretch is once again traumatized by the sheer enthusiasm Chitter has.*

Chitter Chat:  
*Blue has left out cutesy little cat pj's for Red.*  
Red: BLUE STOP TRYING TA PUT ME IN YER CUTE SHIT.  
Blue: LANGUAGE! THERE ARE BABIES! AND I USED ALL YOUR FLANNEL FOR A MAKESHIFT BABY BED.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Red: Okay, so these are straps, great for the bondage part of the whole thing. I even got a few outfits made of nothing but straps. Had to get them custom just so they would fit my boney ass.  
Chitter: People wear just the straps in the bedroom?!  
Red: Depending on how kinky ya wanna get, yes.  
Stretch: *Internal screaming.*

Chitter Chat:  
Red: It’s nine in the goddamn morning! I don’t have time for your damn cutesy pjs! Ya know what! I’ll just drip all over everything and find something myself!  
Blue: *Ignoring him, Eyelights turned to hearts simply because he’s the gayest best friend ever. Chitter has odd stereotypes.* OH! PUT HIM IN THIS ONESIE! HE’LL MATCH HIS SMALLER BROTHER!!!! *Holds up a dark blue, fleece astronaut uniform onesie with fake patches and everything.* I GOT HIS BROTHER IN THE ORANGE ONE!  
Red: Didn’t you get day clothes for the little hellhounds?!  
Blue: Of course I did, but the onesies are way cuter!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell House:  
Stretch: WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND TORTURING ME???  
Red: ..... don't say you don't like it.

Chitter Chat:  
Red: *Being very not flamboyant gay.* Alright fuzz ball, into the-  
Razz: *Screeches as he escapes, streaking across the house.*  
Red: YOU DAMN RAT! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!  
Razz: BUBBYS! *Searches for Edge and the others.*  
Blue: *Flaunting the gay.* Look at you cuties!  
*Axe is snoozing in a 'proud uncle' shirt over a solid blue grey cat onesie, the rest of the kittens in matching astronaut onesies in their colors.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I had to look up some astronaut onesies and they are so flipping cute I can’t)

(LOOK AT THIS CUTE!!!! I have to draw some skeleton children in these XD)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Chitter: N-not going to lie, you kind of just have that face....  
Stretch: ... you guys are terrible. I hate you both.

Chitter Chat:  
Razz: BUBBYS?!?! *Finally makes it down the hallway, seeing the lazies all on the living room floor examining some blocks Blue brought, while Edge was in the makeshift bed snuggled with a stuffed bear as big as he was.*  
Razz: BRUTHER!!!! *Starts running in all his nude glory, only for Red to pick him up with blue magic.* NUUUUUUUUU!!!!! MWAAAAAA!! *Starts crying again.*  
Red: Look ya little shit! Just let me put the damn thing on, and you can run around like a maniac.  
Razz: NUUUUUUU!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh God, it's too cute.)

Fell House:  
Red: Look kid, you just gotta get used to having so many older brother types around. We have to mess with a littler bro. It's, like, ingrained in us.  
Stretch: Uuuuuugh. I miss when all I had to do was worry about Blue’s lectures.  
Red: I ain't complaining, it's free non-murder entertainment. The best kind.  
Chitter: *Looking in Red’s tool box, not to be mistaken for Edge’s.*

Chitter Chatter:  
*Red stuffs the fluffy boy in the pj's...... Razz is acting as if it's a straight jacket.*  
Red: That’s enough Drama Queen.  
Razz: *Yowls in protest.*


	20. Momma Switch Teaches Baby Dom and Toddler Sub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red teaches a lesson and baby kitties get bathed.
> 
> (DISCLOSURE: dont try this at home, its just humor not factual sexy-ish times, mind the tags)

HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Chitter: GASP!!! W-what is that tail thing?! It looks so soft!!!!  
Red: Oh yeah, rabbit monsters really like that for some reason. You see, the rubber bit goes in the-  
Stretch: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!  
Red: The girls really liked getting both tails pulled at the same time. Go figure.  
Stretch: UGGGGGGG!!!

Chitter Chatter:  
Red: Here ya go, why don’t ya settle down with your bro. *Sets him in the makeshift bed next to baby Edge and the bear.*  
Razz: Bruther!!!! *Hugs the sick skeleton tightly, purring at being reunited.*  
Edge: Brudder look! Big soft! Es squishy! *Hugs the bear and snuggles his face into the soft fabric, giggling. Razz pushes his hand into the thing’s arm, mesmerized by how soft it feels.*  
Red: At least he’s manageable... for now. *Collapses into his arm chair.*  
Blue: Do they have names?  
Red: Other then Little Shit, nope.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch is dying omg)

Fell House:  
Red: Now if you find a guy that likes this thing. *Holds up an object that is too .....intricate to describe.* You know you got a sub.  
Chitter: ......teach me more.  
Stretch: I don't even want to know what that is.

Chitter Chit Chat:  
Blue: *Still the gayest gay ever.* RED THAT WON’T DO!  
Red: Ask if they got names, I don't care.  
Slim: *Creeps up to lay next to a snoozing Axe.*  
Blue: Red! They are our babies and you should treat them as such!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Red: The next most important thing, is even if you don’t have genitals, always keep condoms. Why? For the toys. Easier clean up.  
Stretch: *Literally on the ground writhing since he can’t cover his ear holes.*

Chitter Chat Chat:  
Red: Okay..... how about Runt for the biting one, Squirt for the sick one, and Sleepy 1 through 3 for the other ones.  
Blue: THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! *Leans down to talk to Burb, currently chewing on a block.* Hello little one, do you have a name?  
Burb: .... BURP. *The force of the burp makes his wings and tail poof out.*  
Red: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(This one side adult fun other one baby fun is killing me omg its too funny the switch between)

Fell House:  
Chitter: What do you have for fish and lizard monsters?  
Red: ..... for you two? Use lube, like, everywhere. Scales hurt and rub everything raw for fleshies. Maybe try in water or something.  
Stretch: *Internal screeching.*

Chitter Twitter:  
Red: Oh come on Blue Bird! That was funny!  
*Burb is in baby jail, playing with a stuffed cube toy.*  
Blue: THAT WAS DISGUSTING. if I let him do it now he won't ever learn, and he’ll teach the others to do it!  
Red: I hope so!  
Blue: RED!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Red: You ever seen The Shape of Water? That’s ALL about making love to fish monsters.  
Chitter: GASP!!! Can we watch it?!?!  
Stretch: GOD NO PLEASE SPARE MY EYES!!!!

Chitter Baby Cam:  
Red: Alright, I think you’ll have an easier time, asking the pack leader. *Points to Razz currently squishing the stuffed bear with Edge.*  
Blue: Hello little one! Do you have a name?  
Razz: HISSSSS!!!!!  
Blue: Well, we will just have to think of names then!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh God I watched that with my mom and NEITHER OF US KNEW WHAT WAS COMING)

Fell House:  
........  
Chitter: That movie was very .....educational. *Nose bleed.*  
Red: Yep. Crazy what humans come up with.  
Stretch: *Can never look at Undyne the same.*

Chitters Hatchlings:  
Blue: Hi-  
Razz: PSK!  
Blue: Hey-  
Razz: HISSSSSSSS!  
Blue: Wait a-  
Razz: MRRRROWW! GRRRRRR!!!!!  
Red: HAHAHAHAHA!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(This is all too adorable I can’t XD)

Fell House:  
Chitter: S-so what about whips? *Pulls out three separate ones from Red’s kit.*  
Red: Oh yeah, you gotta be careful with those. Usually not great for beginners starting out because it’s easy to do some real damage both physically and psychologically. When you’re ready for that step start with something that won’t cause too much pain and work your way up..... Stretch? Why are you blushing? Wait.... don’t tell me...  
Stretch: *Trying to hide his bright orange face in the carpet* I TOLD YOU ALL TO SHUT UP!!!

Chitter Toddle Adventure:  
Blue: We will have to work on his trust issues.  
Red: Told ya, Little Shit is perfect.  
Blue: No it is not! We need to think of something appropriate.... his magic is like, orchid colored? It’s boarding closer to mulberry....  
Red: It’s purple Blue.  
Blue: I’m talking about shades! Wait..... GASP!  
Red: What?  
Blue: Look at his round little face! He’s a little berry!  
Red: He’s a bit more angular then the others-  
Blue: A ROUND LITTLE BERRY!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Chitter slow down there girl)

Fell House:  
Chitter: ......oh my God. *Looks like her fantasy was just confirmed.* YOU LIKE THIS STUFF. WHIPS OR CUFFS? OR BOTH!  
Stretch: I SAID SHUT IT!  
Red: Hey honey stick, you can't go cryin' ta Blue cuz I’m not the one teasing!

Chitter Baby Fluff:  
Blue: And the pointy one is Edge...... that one laying on your comic stack will be Comic! The snuggling one can be Slim!  
Red: And Burp.  
Blue: NO!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
*Chitter holds the cuffs in Stretch’s face making him blush even harder.*  
Chitter: W-wait.... are you the less common sub male?  
Stretch: WHY DO YOU GUYS TORTURE ME?!  
Red: We haven’t done any torture.... unless you REALLY want it.  
Stretch: *Is currently illuminating the floor to look bright orange.*  
Chitter: D-did you.... want to try this stuff out?  
Red: Now now, another thing is that you and your partner are on the same page, you don’t do anything unless you are absolutely sure that’s what they want.  
Stretch: *Whimpering, trying to stop blushing so badly. It’s making his bones feel way too warm.*  
Red: You see what he’s doing now? Horrible communication. Ya shouldn’t do jack shit if the partner can’t be straight with you.

Chitter’s Rated G Time:  
Red: Come on, let me name ONE of them. I’m the one that found them!  
Blue: But your names suck!  
Red: Can I call him Burb? Like a burping bird?  
*Blue gives him a look, all while Burb giggles at the interaction.*  
Red: See! He likes it!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell House:  
Chitter: So with Undyne, I should make sure she is comfortable with things like restraint before and after each time?  
Red: Yeah, you funky lil dom.  
Stretch: *DOESN'T WANT TO BE HERE.*

Chitter’s Only Source of G:  
Red: So can we put them all in baby jail or what?  
Blue: RED! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TREAT BABIES!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Red: Stretch, what are you doing now?  
Stretch: *Crawling on the floor like a worm trying to get to the basement.*  
Chitter: O-oh! I didn’t know you were into dungeon type things! Y-you should speak more clearly like Red suggested.  
Stretch: *Screaming into the carpet.*

Chitter’s Gotta Get More G:  
Red: Have ya seen the bite that little “Berry” gave me? Pretty sure this is gonna scar.  
Edge: *Cough, cough, hack, cough.*  
Blue: Oh no. Time for more medicine.  
Razz: DON’T TAKE HIM!!! PSK!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude you gonna have to put the pic for the fic when it comes time, I got no idea how to)

Fell House:  
Stretch: CHITTER, I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR SUB PRACTICE.  
Chitter: OH! That’s good communication practice! I can role-play too!  
Red: *Dying of laughter.*

Chitter Needs Cute Babies:  
Blue: Now Razzy! Don't be like that. He won't get better if we don't give him medicine.  
Razz: *All the fluff and pissed.* NU! NU!  
Blue: *Snatches Razz by the scruff, going to baby jail.* Look, here is Bird- Red I refuse to use Burb- and a nice blanket.  
Razz: *Curled his tail and is dangling* PSK!  
Blue: *Looks Burb over.* Red, do you know anything about feathers?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I’ll have to upload it to deviantart before I can link it, but yes! Neko Razz must be shared)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Trust me we ain't even close to neko Razz, I am at fever hallucinations going into hyperdrive)

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Chitter: B-but what if I get to the real thing with Undyne a-and I get too nervous and forget everything a-and-  
Red: Tell ya what little Dom, since you’ve been such a diligent student, I’ll let you do a little practice on me. My pants stay on though.  
Chitter: OKAY!  
Stretch: PLEASE NO!  
Red: Jackets coming off.  
Stretch: ANYTHING BUT THIS!!!!!  
Red: *Sweater gets tossed to the floor showing off his scared ribs.* Look, if you really wanna be her practice there is still time to switch.  
Stretch: WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!

(Lol, those are still good parts)

Chitter Babies:  
Red: I’m a skeleton, so no.  
Razz: BRUTHER!!!!  
Blue: Slow down and play with your other brothers for a while. I promise we just need to give Edge his medicine.  
Razz: PSK!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(They are soooo good.)

Fell House:  
Stretch: NOT WHILE I’M HERE LET ME LEAVE!  
Chitter: You could take notes for me?  
Stretch: WHAT GAVE YOU THE IDEA I’D BE OK WITH THAT???

Chitter’s Bebbies:  
(Razz is just kitty cursing them out omg)  
Blue: Don’t take that tone with me Razzy. Red, you give Edge the medicine while I look up some bird care videos, these feathers are all roughed up.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Red: ........  
Chitter: ........  
Stretch: ...........  
*Stretch broke. Now he’s the one in Red’s place, no shirt and facing away from them.*  
Stretch: ........ is it okay to say I have no clue how this happened?

Chitter Brudders:  
Razz: BRUDDER LET ME OOOOOTTTT!!! *Wailing now that the big ones are ignoring him.*  
Burb: Hush hush bruther. Hush. *Pats the trembling Razz’s shoulder.*  
Blue: Oh no! Red we shouldn’t have used shampoo on those feathers! It removed the natural oils!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Awwww dammit Burb thats too cute da baby petting lil Razzy)

Fell House:  
Stretch: ....no seriously I don't know how.  
Red: ...... buddy, that’s some personal switch you got.  
Chitter: That was ......omg.

Chitter is Killing My Heart:  
Blue: *Picks Burb up, threads his fingers through the baby down feathers.* So the best thing for now is to smooth down the feathers by hand.  
Razz: *Screeches for his baby bird bro.*  
Blue: Just you wait, that fur has to dry more before I brush you.  
Red: *Finished with Edge.* They all need brushed.  
Edge: *Wants more of dat milk, big skelie.* *Whines.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The babies need to look out for each other chhjkjfx)

Fell House:  
Red: Like seriously, I’m genuinely impressed. I don’t even think I could have pulled that off, and I’ve been doing this shit for years.  
Chitter: So w-where do I start?  
Stretch: Uhhhhhhh, what’s the safe word again?

Chitter Blubber Bubbies:  
Red: What? What’s got ya squealing?  
Edge: MELK! I ate bad stuff! Where mi melk?!  
Slim: Wha melk? *Suddenly appears on top of Red’s head much to his shock.*  
Red: HOW DID YOU GET THERE?!  
Edge: MELK!!!!  
Razz: WAHHHHHH!!!!  
Comic: *Appears in timeout with Razz.* Hush bruther. It ok.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell House:  
Chitter: HOW ABOUT MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE?!?  
Red: ...... somehow, I think that will come up in your sex life.

Chitter Drabbles:  
*Comic just flops on a screaming Razz.*  
Red: Damn! I'll get the fucking milk, Jesus.  
Axe: ....mrrrr.....me too. *rolls over.*  
Red: You ain't a baby get it yourself.  
Blue: RED BE NICE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell House:  
Chitter: Mew Mew h-has been turned evil by the Dark Hand! It is up to me to cleanse her of this vile magic. *Smacks riding crop into her other hand.*  
Stretch: Uhhhh, evil Mew Mew Noises?

Chitter Twitter:  
Razz: WAHHAHAHAHAH!!! *Bawling fat tears now that Comic is crushing him. Comic hugs him with one hand and pats him with the other.*  
Comic: Shush now. It okay. Love you.  
Red: HERE’S YOUR WARM MILK ALREADY! *Slides the steaming cups to them. Edge starts drinking his greedily while Slim is more hesitant, his sockets going wide at tasting it.*  
Slim: MELK!!!!!  
Axe: Meow?  
Red: I said not for you!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell House:  
Red: *Trying not to laugh.*  
Chitter: I MUST BEAT THE DARKNESS OUT OF YOU MEW MEW!  
Stretch: WHAT THE FUCK???

CHIT BEB:  
*Razz is the picture of distress as Comic keeps up his petting.*  
Blue: Aw... Razzy, it’s okay, *Holding and rocking Burb.*  
Red: Axe you leave that for the kids!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: Now hold on Chitter, see his body language. What does it tell you?  
Chitter: *Looks at the tension, the way his head is tucked down, and the slight tremble in his arms.* T-that he’s.... nervous?  
Red: Bingo! You are taking it too quick for him, and he’s too much of an idiot to give the safe word. Try again, but dull it down a bit.  
Chitter: *Clears throat.* Mew Mew, you have been corrupted by darkness, and it is my job to cleanse you of it.  
Stretch: .... That wasn’t so jarring-  
*WACK!*  
Stretch: EEEK!!!!!

Chitter Flitters:  
Blue: Hmmmm. Red, have the babies eaten yet?  
Red: No! Before ya got here they were all sleeping!  
Blue: I think they are hungry! We need to feed them!  
Razz: .....*Sniffles*.... *Partially calmed down with Comic’s help, but is still very upset.*  
*While Red figures out food Slim lets Axe have some of the milk from his cup.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I am calling this Momma Switch teaches Baby dom and Toddler Sub)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(That is a fantastic chapter name that must be preserved)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: Now Titters, you gotta check whenever they get antsy, not too often. Work out if a color system or word is better for you. Now, what do we do to end a scene?

Chitters Beb Time:  
Red: I got some tuna-  
Blue: RED CATS CAN GET ADDICTED TO TUNA DONT YOU DARE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Hoes:  
Chitter: Ummmm.... t-to end we.... wait, what’s that sound?  
Red: *Goes quiet, hearing a low rumble purr coming from Stretch. His cheeks were bright orange, but he was grinning like a dope and purring.*

Chitter Chats:  
Red: Just play with your siblings till I figure something out. *Drops both in the makeshift bed.*  
Razz: BRUTHER!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Proofed up to Stretch eavesdropping. I forgot how intense that gets lmao)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: .....and that’s called sub space.

Chitters Kitters:  
Blue: Awwww! Look at Axe being a good uncle!  
*Axe now has many kitties snuggled up to him.*  
(It do be intense)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(God dammit Red’s Pun XD)

Fell Hoes:  
Chitter: GASP!!! H-he liked it?! He liked what I did!!!! I DID A GOOD JOB!!!!  
Stretch: *Snapping out of his happy daze.* Wait, are we done?  
Red: PFFFT!!!!! *Cackling like a mad man while Chitter hops up and down happily.*

Chitter Cats:  
Red: What does the internet say to feed them?  
Blue: For kittens, it says cat food.  
Red: Screw it, I’ll cook up some wings and peal the meat off the bone.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: Okay Titters, let’s try for round two, with a few different tools this time....

Meanwhile in Swapverse:  
Rus: FOOD IS DONE!  
Blue: Huh, we are missing a few people.  
Comic: Pretty sure they went somewhere with Red. No idea where though.  
Blue: I should give Red a call then. Hopefully it’s something they can take a break from.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: ya did great, Titters. Go live yer Lesbian Dom dreams with yer fish.  
Chitter: EEEEEEE!  
Stretch: .......I'll let you do more if you fork over some honey.

Chitter Catters:  
Razz: *Sniffs and smells the chicken Red is making....... time to be… STEALTHY.*  
Blue: *Is watching the kitten fail at stealth.*

Older Bro Chat:  
BabyBlue: Red, do you have my brother?  
Cherry: Yep. He and Chitter are playing.  
BabyBlue: Dinner is ready. Please return back with them.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Hoes:  
Chitters: YESSSSS!!!!  
Red: .... Welp! I got more things for ya ta try.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: A lil game called, "Exhibition, don't get caught in public."  
Stretch: .......what?  
Red: I got a 10 oz bottle of honey if ya do it.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: OKAY! W-what exactly do I do though????  
Red: *Smile as big as the Grinch’s.*

Chitter Catters:  
*Razz is on the counter now, trying to creep slowly to Red and his chicken in the hot oil.  
Red: *Glances over at Razz. Razz freezes thinking he is practically invisible.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
Red: ....ya know, I've never done this with a skeleton.  
Stretch: *His bones are buzzing like a demented bee, very noticeable, with the toy Red wanted to use.* ..... I can tell.

Chit Chat:  
*Red looks away. The mighty hunter can continue-*  
Razz: MRRRRRRROOOOOW!  
Red: Off the counter fuzzbucket.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay So is Stretch streaking??? I have no idea what Exhibition is XP)

Chitter Twitter:  
Razz: *Wiggles his butt in the air as soon as Red turns his back to grab some seasoning, leaping for the pot that smells so amazing. Red spots him while he’s mid jump for the boiling pot. *  
Red: KID WAIT!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Just usually stuff with others watching/could walk in/in public toy usage i believe covers it, I dunno the entirety of it. Thats a vibe on stretch that doesn't work like it would for fleshies. Its just annoying on bones, the sound of it on a hard surface. I thought it would be funny)

Chitter Likes Babies Innocence OMG:  
*Red catches him by the seat of the onesie, barely before disaster. Razz is not amused and wants the chicken badly.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Got it XD)

Fell Hoes:  
Red: ...... hmmmmmm. Oh! I got the perfect solution! *Goes to his drawer and pulls out an outfit of nothing but straps and a spiked collar.*  
Stretch: I am not wearing that!  
Red: You can wear it under your clothes. The collar has ta be visible though.  
Stretch: ......  
Chitter: *Watches intently to see what he will decide.*

Chitter Cubs:  
Red: WHAT ARE YA DOING YA LITTLE SHIT?!?!  
Razz: PSK! HISS!!!! *Tries swiping at him, Red’s arm held out of the way.*  
Red: You could have killed yourself!  
Razz: FOOD!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
.......  
Stretch: .....isn't there a culture thing with collars for you?  
Red: .....nooooooo...... *Dammit don't catch on!*

Chitter Chicks:  
Red: Just wait fer it to cook you little menace! BLUE YER BABY IS GETTING INTO TROUBLE!  
Blue: *Still the gayest.* RED! YOU ARE THE DAD, YOU CAN HANDLE ONE BABY WHILE I HAVE THE REST.  
Red: BUT I GOT THE FIESTY ONE THAT WANTS TO PLAY ON THE DAMN STOVE!  
Blue: RED DONT BE A DEAD BEAT!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Hoes:  
Stretch: ..... fine, I’ll wear it with the damn collar, but only because I know you won’t buy the honey if I don’t.  
Red: Great! Now let’s get a drink at Grilby’s before we go. I’m sure Titters would like the little kick of liquid courage before the night with her gay fish.  
Chitter: *Blushes.*  
Stretch: These straps feel weird, like a constant wedgie.  
Chitter: You know what wedgies feel like? Without skin?  
Stretch: Pretty hard to find clothes that fit a skeleton in general, no fat or muscle, so I’m familiar with uncomfortable clothes.

Chitter Chats:  
Red: Okay kid, I’m going to teach you a lesson. See that stove with the chicken?  
Razz: FOOD!!!!  
Red: Yes food, but you are NEVER EVER supposed to touch the stove top!  
Razz: DOWN!!!!  
Red: Just hold your hands up to the heat!  
*Holds Razz close to the burner. He initially tries reaching for the pot, only to stop when feeling the intense heat radiating from it. A drop of oil pops out of the pot from its boiling, landing square on Razz’s ear.*  
Razz: OWWWWWW!!!!  
Red: What?  
Razz: *Squirms from pain.* DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!  
Blue: RED DID YOU HURT MY BABY?!?!  
Red: I DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! HE’S BEING A SPAZZ!!  
Razz: OWWWWWWW!!!! YOU BAD!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Hoes:  
Stretch: Why do you think we either wear baggy sweatshirts and weird stuff half the time?  
Chitter: .....personal preference?  
Stretch: Lil bit. Mostly because even monster inclusive clothes aren't made with the ‘two per universe’ skeletons.

Chit Cats:  
Razz: DOOOOOOOOOOWN! DOOOOOWN! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!  
Red: You gonna stay off my stove?  
Razz: DOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNN!  
Blue: RED WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Ficklets:  
Red: Alright, but that better be a yes!  
Razz: OWWWW!!!!  
*Red drops the squirming thing to the floor, Razz scampering to a corner under the kitchen chairs. He wanted to go back to his brothers for comfort, but he would have to pass Red to get there.  
Razz .... hurts….. *Sniffles*..... *Tries rubbing at his ear but the spot where the oil hit still stings.*  
Red: You gonna tell me what’s wrong?  
RAZZ: U HURT ME!!!  
Blue: I KNEW IT!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(OKAY!!! Chapter has been proof read!)  
(Ready to go up whenever!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(YAY!)

CHIT CHAT:  
Blue: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY RED? *Enters kitchen.* OH Razzy... come here baby.  
Razz: *Curls into himself whimpers.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Files:  
Red: Leave him be. I got this.  
Blue: YOU HURT HIM!  
Red: Clearly babying isn’t working. You just keep watching the others and I’ll handle the stubborn tyke.  
Blue: .... fine, but if he’s still in hiding by the time food is done I am intervening! *Sassy gay walk straight to the living room.*  
Razz: *Whimpers, jumping back a few inches when a cold cube slides his way.*  
Red: Put the ice where it hurts.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
*Edge is very very disturbed when he sees Stretch in a collar.*

Chit Cat:  
Razzy: COOOOOLD!  
Red: Buddy that’s just life sometimes.  
***  
HomeHawk12  
(SHSNDBDJK Bro I’m dying XD I left that little ice cube thing open for the potential of a little bonding, trust growing moment depending on how you wanted to play it, and I open the app and just see “COOOOOOOLD!”)

Edge: .... Blue said you were out playing a little..... game?  
Chitter: *Blushes profusely.*  
Red: Yeah, a game. RIGHT Stretch?  
Stretch: *Plays with his collar not used to the feeling.* Yeah, something like that.  
Edge: *Internal struggle, really wanting make sub jokes, but not wanting to break his promises to Blue.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(They be testing Edge’s integrity)

Swap House:  
*Edge is very tense throughout the meal.......*  
Edge: .....so. Stretch. Who collared you? Did blue claim you finally? The collar isn't exactly his style. * it better not be red *  
Stretch: ......* realized that red my have played him *

Meanwhile:  
Razz: *Decides to go to the gym, get some punches in, maybe he'll get some stuff to make burritos.*

Chit Fic:  
Red: Yup, uncomfortable, I know Fussy. It will make it feel better. *Grabs one of the cooked wings and pulls a bit of meat off, offering it to Razz.* You want to see how to do it safely?  
Razz: *Hiccups a few cries* ...............o....ok........

***  
HomeHawk12  
Swap House:  
Slim: *Currently has his face buried in his arms trying not to laugh. He’s glad Razz wasn’t here, otherwise there would be screaming about what a degenerate he is.*

Meanwhile:  
*Razz is at the gym in the Fire Station, going crazy on a few punching bags when a co-worker walks by.*  
Trisha: Hey Sans! I didn’t know you were feeling better. *Suppressed giggles.*  
Razz: *Confused.* I apologize, but I don’t understand what is so funny.  
*Is potentially about to see a world shattering photo.*

Chitter Chat:  
*Neko Razz is sitting on the counter now, a good three feet away from the stove top, watching Red as he explains everything that he is currently doing.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Swap House:  
Slim: Nyeh........heh.  
Edge: .....well?  
Blue: Um, I didn't collar my brother..... that's not a thing....here.... um. Collars are mostly for sexy times and edgy fashion.  
Edge: .... excuse....me?

Meanwhile:  
Razz: ....what are you talking about?  
Trisha: Just wanted to know how our little astronaut is doing!  
Razz: *Void sockets* ....... I am going to kill them. How dare they take advantage of me like that.

Chit Chat:  
*Once the food is done and stripped of bones, Razz helps Red bring it in, Razz insisting on feeding Edge himself.*  
Blue: ....is it okay to feed birdy ....chicken?

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I know you didn’t make him snap this badly but I couldn’t get the image out of my brain dvdjfkd)

Meanwhile:  
Razz: *Mentally snapped, even worse then when he had the blow up with Bubo. This was a mental break caused by pure, unyielding rage, sadness, and humiliation. His socket twitched as he collects a whole bunch of guns, swords, knives, and a flamethrower. He also forced Trisha to send him a copy of the photo, which everyone in the department got their hands on.*  
Razz: *Mumbling to himself.* They think I’m a JOKE, that I’m WEAK! Blue tricked me! Made me think I could TRUST him! Never again! The multiverse will soon be purged! NO ONE WILL FACE THEIR TRICKERY AGAIN!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!  
LH: Meow!  
Razz: I’M STILL MAD AT YOU TOO!!!!!!

(He also may or may not have convinced himself that they poisoned him and that’s why he got sick)

Chitter Chats:  
Red: Eh, birds are known cannibals.  
Blue: RED THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I Might have taken that one too far sgfgjmkv)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Paranoia is a bitch, but..... Razz loves to be dramatic too. Probably just a show of force. ......Probably.........)

Meanwhile:  
Razz: I WILL SHOW THOSE FUCKERS!  
Copy Shop Employee: .....sir please keep it down. You are freaking people out.  
Razz: .......Apologies. *Gets his many copies of the picture and politely leaves.*

Chit Chat:  
*Burb seems to have no problem with it, happily eating with his bros on kiddo plates, the ones with animal ear spaces.*

  
***

HomeHawk12  
(XD DAWWWWW sooo cute! I remember those on ZooPal plate commercials when I was younger! So many memories)

Swap House:  
Stretch: Y-yeah, I thought I would try an EDGIER fashion choice, though, it’s hard to dress much edgier then you already do. * Proud of himself for that coverup.*  
Edge: Really? I would have thought the sexy option.  
Stretch: YOU PROMISED!

Meanwhile:  
Razz: *In front of a mirror dressed like Snake and rubbing black face paint under his sockets.*  
Razz: Almost time.... THOSE BASTARDS WILL KNOW TRUE AGONY BY THE TIME I’M DONE! HOW DARE THEY FORCE ME INTO THAT STATE!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!  
*Neighbors banging on the walls.*  
Neighbor: STOP YELLING!  
Razz: YOU STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR WIFE AT TWO IN THE MORNING YOU DEGENERATE PRICK!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The new question, is he just going to charge in with guns blazing, or will he kidnap them in their sleep and drag them to a “Saw” like game where they must solve his puzzles to live and he had copies of the photo all over the place?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(HOLY SHIT SAW. PLEASE? PLEEEEASE!)  
(What do you think?l)

  
  


***  
HomeHawk12  
(GNOMES!!!!!!! YESS I LOVE IT!!! Them big noses are so cute lol)  
(Alright, I even have a good begining go to the saw thing!)

Swap House:  
*Everyone pauses their meal when they hear the machine go off downstairs.*  
Comic: Was anyone else expecting more skeletons?  
Bubo: You don’t suppose your Razz friend has returned, do you?  
Blue: RAZZ! *Rushes to the basement to hopefully talk things out, only to see a few containers of pastries and a note on top.*  
Blue: *Opens the note and reads it aloud.* “I apologize for the things I said earlier and the way I behaved. Please have these deserts as a peace offering. Sincerely, Sans of SwapFell.”

(What are the odds he drugged them? XP)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(.......ok....what if they are a threat...... and is Helen's lemon bars?.... will come up with a good reply tmw)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhhhhh that’s a good idea! But would they get too suspicious if they are lemon bars and not take the drugs? Or he uses her lemon bars for one of the puzzles..... particularly for Slim or Stretch... lmao)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(.....what about a dessert burrito now and later, lemon bar?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(YESSSSS!!!! Desert Burrito would definitely make Blue think it was especially made for him and Razz was super sincere XD OH god this is gonna be great dfvhhjkk)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Then Blue shares because he is nice and no one realizes that was Razz’s plan)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yesssss, but will he drag the bird AU into it since they weren’t there for the picture? Or include them because every AU must be purged?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I think he would definitely drag Burb and Dove in since no skeletons can be trusted. Not sure about Bubo, Ace and Chitter)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(They get lil notes..."Join me or them. This is your only chance at salvation". Also I am getting the next chapter ready, I’ll tell when it's drafted)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Sounds good on both fronts! Goodnight!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy this holiday chapter of Stretch suffering!


	21. Razz Wants To Play A Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz loses his shit.

Bookwyrm  
*Blue sees 4 burritos of a sort.... two blueberry ones and two cherry ones.*  
Blue: Aw! Razz! This is great progress on being friendly and sociable!

***  
HomeHawk12  
*Blue returns to the top of the staircase in a much better mood holding the containers of deserts.*

Rus: What do you have there Blue?  
Blue: DESSERT!  
Red: Dessert? Where did that come from?  
Blue: Razz sent them with an apology note! He feels horrible for the way he acted and yelled at me earlier, and sent a peace offering.  
Edge: Razz sent that?  
Red: An apology dessert?  
Slim: ..... let me see that note.

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The Fells are really not buying it just yet.)

Blue: Here’s the card Slim, these dessert burritos look so good with all the icing and stuff! Traps, you want to help me serve it? You are the best at appropriate sizing.  
Traps: *Liking the praise.* Sure I can do it.  
Axe: So both berries are snacks? Angel cakes and Jam tart?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: ...... *Takes a moment to realize what he is doing.*  
Slim: I mean..... this is how he would word a genuine apology.  
Red: I don’t trust it.  
Stretch: Damn those look really tasty.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: And there's enough to share, he even thought of how I would want to let everyone have some!  
Slim: .....right.... he does bake sometimes..... Chara’s school friends have called him the Bake-king.  
Red: *Stares at the dessert like he wants to interrogate it.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: *Takes the first bite. His eyelights going wide*..... dear stars this is the greatest thing I’ve ever tasted.....  
Rus: WOWIE..... I DIDN’T KNOW CHERRY COULD TASTE THIS AMAZING!!!!!  
Edge: .... how do you two feel?  
Comic: Great right now. Why?  
Bubo: I would like to try a piece if that is okay.  
Dove: Me too! Small Sans is an amazing cook!!!!  
Burb: He really is.

***  
Bookwyrm  
*The Fells are the last ones to try it...... and they don't feel the drugging intent until they have consumed too much.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: *Yawn.* I think it’s about time for a nap.  
All the Lazies: Agreed.  
Edge: W-wait! Don’t fall.... fall asleep! This is a trap! S-something is very wrong! *Yawn.*  
Red: *Can’t keep his sockets open anymore.* S-sorry Boss..... I’m not..... zzzzzzzz.....  
Edge: *Glances around seeing everyone is asleep and he’s going to be next. As his sockets fall closed he swears he can hear Razz’s maniacal cackling.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
...........  
*Razz pokes each skeleton to ensure they are out........ then ties them up and starts on his revenge. He leaves them in different rooms, no brothers together besides the Horrors and Birds.*

(He is cruel, but not to the point of torturing mostly benign and injured to disability skeletons, that’s too far.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh, did he drag them to an old factory or is this one of their houses?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(You choose, if Razz did the factory it would be funny if he cleaned only where he would be. Like a lil viewing deck, the grossness left for those who prefer clean and cleaned for those who don't care about it. Just a small sting of annoyance)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god I love that soooo much XP Unknown location would make it harder to shortcut too, without getting stuck in a wall.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(And they don't know WHICH universe, can't shortcut between them)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Yesss, truly a conundrum.)

The Papyri:  
*Stretch blinks his sockets open, realizing that he’s chained to a wall. Slim is with him. Strapped down to a chair. The room is sterile, white walled with a TV screen on one of the walls.*  
Stretch: ..... the hell is this????  
Razz: *Voice coming through the TV.* I heard you enjoy “games.”

***  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: .......... Red taught me about consent, and this is not it. I thought you didn't do sex games?  
Razz: I. DON'T.  
stretch: ......ok then, what’s this?  
Razz: Just a little game, something fun from the days of my Underground..... you know I've quite missed some of the duties I once had.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: *Yawns.* *Slowly opens his sockets realizing he’s trapped.* W-wait.... I recognize this chair.....  
Razz: About time you woke up “brother.”  
Slim: Bro? What’s going on?  
Razz: You are smarter than you let on. I am surprised you haven’t figured it out already. *The TV screen comes on, showing Razz dressed in dark clothing with face paint on.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ......Sans? are .....you playing Saw?.....what’s with the face paint???  
Razz: Lovely movies. Had some of the most brilliant ideas. Mwahaha!  
Slim: *Oh shit he is in his ‘Captain Interrogation Mode’.*

(I got busy today so I might be a lil off in replying.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s all good lol, I’ll be more sporadic when my shift starts later as well.)

Stretch: Must say the face paint doesn’t suit you. Ya look like you came from a psych ward.  
Slim: Shut up Stretch! You’re gonna get us k-killed!  
Stretch: You’re his bro, and I am a version of you. No way he would risk you dusting.  
Slim: You don’t understand! H-he’s-  
Razz: You see, if you would have come to me the day prior, I would have agreed. Things change, however, and I see now that you never truly wanted to make amends.  
Slim: ... What?  
Razz: DON’T “WHAT” ME!!!! YOU WANTED ME TO FALL DOWN DIDN’T YOU!?!? DIDN’T YOU?!?!!!  
Stretch: You are talking crazy.  
Razz: No.... I am talking angry. You haven’t seen me.... crazy yet.  
Slim: *Whimper.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz has snapped a lil, not too bad...yet. but all the anger that was going to be pummeled out on a punching bag is now directed to the various skeletons.)

Razz: Looks like I will have to rip my retribution from you.  
Stretch: ....huh?  
Razz: Let’s see.... hmm.... look at what's slipped into your room. Oh. It’s a perfectly fine bottle of honey!

Bird Boys:  
*Burb and Dove awaken to an empty room, a note on the floor "You haven't earned my ire like the others, if you walk out of the red door you will be spared, or you can try the blue door to foolishly try to rescue the other skeletons."*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Burb: Uhhhh..... is this a joke?  
Dove: There is indeed a red and blue door, and the room is very cramped for my wings.  
Burb: Rescue the other skeletons....  
Dove: What do you suppose it is talking about?  
Burb: Don’t know.... which means I need to sleep on it. *Lays back down on the ground and shuts his sockets.*  
Dove: HOW COULD YOU SLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!  
Burb: Too late, already deeply asleep.  
Dove: NO YOU ARE NOT!

The Neat Freaks:  
*Blue awakens, chained to the wall by a metal collar, hearing Edge cursing up a storm and feeling something slimy on the floor. He opens his sockets to see he’s sitting in a disgusting puddle of standing water and mold, the entire room full of mold and who knows what else.  
Blue : W-WHAT IS THIS?!?!  
Razz: Tell me, did you enjoy slowly “earning” my trust?  
*Razz’s face appears on an old TV screen.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(The amount of time and detail, Razzy had been prepared beforehand for any needed torture, maybe even thought of offering Saw like escape rooms to people on the surface)

Blue: ....what? I thought we were becoming good friends!  
Edge: DO YOU NOT HAVE A CLEANER TORTURE ROOM? HAVE SOME STANDARDS!  
Razz: *False cheer.* I made this in mind just for you two! I did not appreciate that MY COWORKERS NOW HAVE PICTURES OF ME VULNERABLE IN THOSE DAMNED PJS! I WILL FIND OUT WHO SENT THEM AND THEY WILL PAY!

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Perhaps he wanted to own an escape room business at some point, but racism and money didn’t allow it..... now he finally has use for everything he made)

Blue: H-Huh????  
Razz: You know what one of my co-workers said to me earlier? “We were all worried about our LITTLE ASTRONAUT!”  
Edge: .... How did they get their hands on that though?  
Razz: SO YOU KNEW ABOUT IT!!!! YOU WERE ALL IN ON THIS TO HUMILIATE ME!!!!  
Blue: THAT’S NOT TRUE!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT-  
Razz: LIES! YOU WERE WORKING WITH YOUR BROTHER ALL ALONG!!! YOU PROBABLY POISONED ME AND HOPED I WOULD DIE FROM THAT “FEVER,” ISN’T THAT RIGHT?!?!!?! AND YOU HAD THE NERVE AFTER TO TRY AND HELP ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE WHOLE THING YOU MANIPULATIVE CUNT!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(RAZZ IS CURSING IN FRONT OF BLUE OH GOD HE'S GONE INSANE!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Paranoia has taken full effect! Hide your valuables because he’s going to light the town on fire!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: *Affronted.* You know as well as I that I would never poison someone on purpose! I didn't know how bad my cooking was back then!  
Edge: IF I FIND OUT STRETCH SHARED THAT HE’S DEAD. HIS DESIRES ARE NOW HARMING OTHERS! JUST LOOK AT RAZZ! HE'S PARANOID NOW!  
Razz: I'M NOT PARANOID, I AM JUST PREPARED!  
Blue: EDGE! I DON’T THINK PAPY WOULD DO-........WOULD DO THIS THINKING THAT THE CONSEQUENCES WOULD AFFECT US!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: So STRETCH was the one who took that photo, but everyone else was complacent, letting him have his way with me. I TRUSTED YOU! YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED WHEN I ASKED!!!!!

(Edge understands, he knows Razz’s thought process dfvhjcds)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: NO YOU LITTLE TYRANT, I JUST KNOW THAT HE IS A LIKELY CANDIDATE! BLUE, THIS IS WHAT WE MEANT WHEN RED AND I SAID YOU ALL WERE SO DEAD.

(Wanna see what I've been working on?)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(I would love to see it!)

***  
Bookwyrm

***  
HomeHawk12  
(THEY LOOK SO CUTE!!!!! Part of me really loves the dark one with the sleigh. I just love the color blend on that one)

Blue: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WOULD TAKE IT THIS FAR?!  
Edge: HE BURNED YOUR BROTHER’S ENTIRE BEDROOM WITH A FLAMETHROWER!!!!

Back with the Papyri:  
Stretch: Okay, it’s a bottle of honey. I eat those like a garbage disposal.  
Razz: That’s just one of many bottles of honey in this room. *The lights illuminate, revealing over one hundred bottles of honey.*  
Razz: Only one bottle of honey has the key to you and Slim’s freedom, and it is your job to find it.  
Stretch: Big deal, I’ll drink through all of these within a day!  
Razz: Did I forget to mention? You have precisely twenty minutes to find the key... or else.  
*A drill comes down from the ceiling aimed directly at Slim’s face.*  
Slim: Sans, what are you doing?!?! I’m your brother!  
Razz: That’s what I believed too, but we all make incorrect assumptions sometimes.

(Meanwhile)  
*Comic and Red wake up in a clean, rather plain room, wearing magic suppressant collars with a key hanging on the ceiling just out of either of their reaches.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Blue keep up, Fell monsters speak in various degrees of violence and possession.)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(He’s still too far out of the cultural loop. He saw pastries and didn’t think it weird Razz wouldn’t show up in person. He needs to learn.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: ......welp. I'm going back to sleep.  
Red: RAZZ YOU TINY FUCKER!

Meanwhile with the Other Skeletons:  
*The Horror bros and Rus are in a lobby waiting room of sorts, monitors showing the other rooms, paper, pens, a Dropbox and a respectable table with chairs. The drop box has a note above it, 'opinions'.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Rus was too pure for him to truly be mad at XD the disabled ones and Rus are exempt djdjdkfk)

The Sanses:  
Razz: Red! *Mock offense.* I thought you LOVED jokes! Height jokes to be precise, and making me the butt of them. Tell me how it feels to be on the receiving end of one!!!!

Viewing Room:  
Axe: So.... do we write our opinions on the puzzles, or who we think isn’t gonna make it?  
Traps: THIS IS SO FUN! I want to play one of the puzzle rooms!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Traps would be the most excited. And Axe actually helped without ridicule. And Rus is just plain confusing so he didn't want to bother.)

The Papyi:  
Stretch: You doubt my honey skills?  
Slim: JUST DUMP THE FUCKING HONEY.

Bird Boys:  
Dove:......Sans I think we should help them.

Viewing Room:  
Rus: OH MY GOSH IT'S JUST LIKE SAW! TRAPS THIS IS SO COOOOL!

***  
HomeHawk12  
The Papyri Boys:  
Razz: MWAHAHAHA! You think I would just let him DUMP all that honey? There is an extra stipulation. For every one you container you dump.... you lose 30 seconds off the clock. And given the viscosity of honey and the fact there are 150 bottles of 21 oz containers alone in this room...... you don’t have that much time to waste. Besides, Stretch enjoys torturing himself. I’m sure he will love this.... SWEET gesture! MwahAhahahah! MWAHAHAHAHAHAGH!  
*The screen goes black, a timer counting backwards from 20 minutes pops up instead.*  
Stretch: Pfft. Like this will be a challenge.  
Slim: DON’T LET ME DIE HERE!

The Sanses:  
Razz: I wouldn’t lay down for a nap if I were you, unless you don’t mind being chopped into powder. *Razz presses a button, saw blades popping out of the walls just a centimeter from Comic’s face.*  
Razz: The room will be getting smaller, you’re time to reach the key without getting mutilated is running out.  
Red: I’M GONNA MURDER YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU DAMN MIDGET!!!!  
Razz: WE SHALL SEE WHO THE MIDGET IS WHEN YOU LOSE BOTH YOUR LEGS!!!!!

***  
HomeHawk12  
The Neat Freaks:  
*Their restraints release, allowing them both to stand up.*  
Razz: See the door next to Edge? Enter it. *The two look over to see an old restroom door covered in filth. They enter, recoiling at the smell. The door locks behind them.*  
Edge: IT SMELLS LIKE PIG SHIT!  
Razz: Clever deduction. Two of those toilets hold the keys to your escape, though the only way to get to them will be to dig through the.... grotesque waste I have left for you in those toilets. You will have 5 minutes to find the keys or..... let’s just say it’s going to get very hot in there, VERY fast!!!!!  
Blue: RAZZ PLEASE THIS IS HORRIBLE!  
Razz: I am not without sympathy. I allowed you your magic, no? Though the quickest way to get the keys is to get.... “down and dirty” as they say. MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  
Blue: .... I think Razz really needs therapy.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: ..... Blue. We are from a Fellverse, and technically he has had many excuses and insults to kill most of the skeletons. This is what happens when you try to ruthlessly tame a Fell.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: But you were never like this when we first met!  
Edge: I got accustomed to Rus and Comic very slowly before meeting you. I wasn’t thrust into a confusing mess of Tale skeletons like he was. SERIOUSLY! How did we end up with so many people in the house at once??? I thought he had visited more then once or twice!  
Blue: The bedroom...... oh stars.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: RAZZ YOU FUCKER! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT MOST OF THIS FILTH!  
Blue: ..... so..... um..... What are the chances of....dying?  
Edge: I can't tell how bad the betrayal he feels is. Not only that, but somehow he seemed very receptive to you so that's great. Weird attachments always make things complicated.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Gulp.* Good to know....  
Razz: FOUR MINUTES!!!! You are running out of time~ *Several panels on the ceiling open revealing nozzles of some sort.*  
Blue: What are those?!  
Edge: He said he would turn up the heat if we failed.... probably flamethrowers.  
Blue: O-oh.... *Starting to understand how serious this is getting.* S-so, should we start.... digging?  
Edge: Two keys with six toilets..... brilliant.

Non-Skeleton Birds:  
Ace: Gahhhh... my head....  
Chitter: W-where are we?  
Bubo: I think someone left us a note. *Opens paper.*  
Bubo: “You have done nothing to earn my ire, so I am giving you a choice. Leave through the red door and return to your universe, or go through the blue door and enjoy watching the bloodbath. The choice is yours. I pray you pick the path of salvation.”  
Ace: .... WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

***  
Bookwyrm  
The Papyri:  
Edge: You start on the far end, I’ll start here.  
........  
*Razz put them in the middle two anticipating this very logical plan.*

Non-Skeleton Birds:  
Chitter: Did..... did we sign up for an extreme escape room Undyne?

The Sanses:  
Red: .....hey lazy ass! Gimme a boost for the key!  
Comic: … zzzzzzzzz…...  
Red: Fine. I'll just step on you.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz you rat bastard!!! XD so cruel fhdg)

The Papyri:  
Stretch: Urg..... so I may have overestimated the amount of honey I could convert to magic at once.... oh stars.... *Has managed to make it through 70 bottles and is feeling very sick now.*  
Slim: DON’T GIVE UP NOW!!!! WE ONLY HAVE SEVEN MINUTES!!!!!  
Stretch: You help me then!  
Slim: I’M STRAPPED TO A CHAIR!!!!!

The Non-Skeleton Birds:  
*They select the blue door because Ace liked the word bloodbath. They ended up in the lobby area with the Horror brothers and Rus.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Traps: OH! Hello bird friends!  
Axe: You’re just in time to see everything picking up.  
Ace: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
Rus: The escape rooms, silly! Look at the screens! Of course MY BROTHER IS NOT HELPING AT ALL!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Bubo: ......this...this is disturbing.  
Rus: HONESTLY I THOUGHT, RAZZ WOULD HAVE DUSTED SOMEONE AND NOT HAVE GIVEN THEM A CHANCE AT SURVIVAL.  
.......  
Chitter:......W-what?!?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Rus: I ALWAYS TOOK RAZZ AS A MORE ADVANTAGEOUS ATTACKER.  
Ace: Wouldn’t dusting someone in their sleep take the fun out of it?

The Papyri:  
Stretch: S-Slim.... I know how you can help.  
Slim: WHAT?!  
Stretch: *Shoves a honey bottle in his mouth.* Now just let it drain while I keep going.... *BURP.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: *Finishes.* JUST POUR IT OUT!  
Stretch: NO!

Viewing Room:  
Axe: Welp. *Reclines in chair.* This is fun..... wonder if there's snacks...  
Traps: OMG Sans! Look! There's an empty monitor.... I think the locked rooms go there.... there's three chairs? And saw blades? Oooooh! I hope they do that one soon!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Huh, what an interesting development. I wonder what that could all be used for?

The Papyri:  
*Slim gets another two bottles shoved into his mouth. Stretch is working on his 100th honey bottle. He’s barely even breaking it down to magic now, it’s just pouring through his jaw and down his hoodie and rib cage in big sticky clumps.*  
Stretch: W-we have two minute.... w-we gotta find that key.... can’t pour em’ out.... *Looks like he’s ready to cry.*

The Sanses:  
Red: COMIC STAND UP AND GIVE ME A REAL BOOST!!! YOUR FAT ASS ISN’T DOING IT!!!  
Comic: .....zzzzzzz.....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: I FUCKING KNOW YOU AIN’T ASLEEP YOU PRICK!

The Papyri:  
Stretch: I .....I can't waste it, who knows.....when more......  
Slim: THIS IS KINDA STUPID OF YOU! SANS! SANS! HE IS ALL HUMILIATED NOW PLEASE UNRESTRAIN ME!

The Neat Freaks:  
*Edge and Blue find the keys with 30 secs to spare. They find themselves in the room with three chairs that are numbered. Looking around, the door they stepped out of is numbered 2. There is a door #1 and a door #3 that are locked.*  
Razz: And you are the first ones out! And both alive too! I expected as much. I’ll explain this room once the others join. For now enjoy your prize! *A box drops in. It has a single wet wipe in it.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
(SHIT A SINGLE WET WIPE XDDDDD I literally cracked up so hard at that one I can’t)

Edge: DAMN YOU RAZZ!!!!!! I WILL THROTTLE YOU FOR THIS!!!!!  
Razz: Only if you can live through Room Four!  
Blue: *Sniffles. He feels too disgusting for words and is about ready to ditch his entire arm.* W-w-who gets to use it?  
Edge: .......

The Papyri:  
Stretch: *On his 134th bottle. It’s still dripping down his drawers and has accumulated in a large puddle in and around his shoes.* I-I don’t understand.... I-I don’t want to waste the honey.... but just looking at it is making my soul churn.... w-why does the sight make me feel nauseous????  
Slim: *Starts hacking on the bottle shoved in his jaw, a honey covered key popping from his mouth.* STRETCH I HAVE THE KEY!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!  
Stretch: But why is the honey making me sick Slim? Who even am I if I can’t drink honey anymore?  
Stretch: THERE’S EIGHT SECONDS LEFT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET ME OUT!!!!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Blue and Edge came from 2, they have to wait for the pairs from 1 and 3 to come out..... the single wet wipe really isn't enough for either skeleton, filthy from the elbows down.)

*Slim lunges forward away from the drill, the chair back getting murdered by the tool.*

The Sanses:  
Red: COMIC I SWEAR TO FUCKING ANY DAMN GODS OUT THERE.  
Comic: *Rolls over*.....ZZZZZZZZ.....  
Red: YOU CUNT!

(I choose to believe Comic is the obligatory assistant in the game from the Saw movies)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh shit I just remembered Stretch is still wearing Red’s straps under his outfit isn’t he? Red won’t be happy to see those ruined XP) (So Comic is in on the whole thing? Another reason why Rus isn’t involved, and Comic had almost 0% of anything to do with fevered Razz.)

Red: *Saw blades move closer, spinning at high speeds and ripping the sleeve off his jacket.* THAT’S IT WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!! *Kicks Comic in the head.*  
Comic: W-wha??? Oh hey saw blades.  
Red: I KNOW NOW HELP ME UP!!!!

The Papyri:  
Stretch: JESUS CHRIST HE WAS ACTUALLY GONNA KILL ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????  
Stretch: I can’t keep looking at the honey bottles... they make me feel gross....

***  
Bookwyrm  
The Sanses:  
Comic: I didn't see that coming.  
Red: YOU BASTARD! JUST FUCKING LIFT ME.

The Neat Freaks:  
Blue: How much more do you think Razz will do?  
Edge: This is pre-planned, it was ready before Razz snapped. It could be a long time.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: WHY WOULD HE PREPLAN SOMETHING LIKE THIS????  
Edge: Hard to say. Paranoia, mental illness, he could just get off on making death puzzles.  
Razz: THAT IS A GODDAMN LIE!!!!!!

*Stretch and Slim finally step through door #1, Slim looking shell shocked and Stretch absolutely drenched in the sticky sweet substance while looking ready to curl up in a ball and cry.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: PAPY! I WOULD HUG YOU BUT WE ARE BOTH FILTHY!  
Slim: I..... I think Razz actually would have killed me.  
Razz: THIS WAS STRESS RELIEF. I BUILT IT AND MAYBE WANTED TO TRY A BUSINESS VENTURE IN SAW LIKE GAME SCENARIOS, BUT APPARENTLY THAT'S TOO NICHE AND DANGEROUS.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE DOING WHILE I WAS GONE?!?!  
Razz: ON TOP OF LITERALLY DYING FROM EXCESSIVE GUILT, STRESS AND LONELINESS! BUT IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WOULD EVER TRULY CARE!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?  
Razz: I’M TALKING ABOUT FALLING DOWN, PAPYRUS!

*Red and Comic burst out of the last door.*  
Razz: ALRIGHT, PICK A SKELETON FROM EACH ROOM TO SIT IN THE CORRESPONDING CHAIR. YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO DISCUSS.

Viewing Room:  
*Axe watches as a cracker and cheese basket is slid from a shoot.*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Slim: FALLING DOWN?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FALLING DOWN???!!! STOP IGNORING ME!!!!  
Edge: Does anyone have any idea WHAT the person in the chair will have to suffer from?  
Red: HOLD ON I JUST ABOUT LOST MY ARM.  
Edge: YOU CAN HAVE MINE THEN!!!! ITS SOILED ANYWAY!!!  
Slim: .... SANS ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Viewing Room:  
Axe: Snap! We’re getting into some good drama now.  
Traps: OH MY!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Chitter: OMG. Is this......roleplay?!?  
Ace: AW YEAH! THAT'S RAD!  
Bubo: ......so.....this is.... what the kids do nowadays?  
Rus: SHHHHHHH! They have to decide who gets probable torture!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Edge: .... Well, clearly we are shoving Stretch in the chair. He gets off on that shit anyway.  
*Everyone glances over to see him sitting by the wall in mourning, while Slim is still shouting at the speaker.*  
Edge: .... Red, you said you were a dumpster, yes?  
Blue: ..... Why would Razz mention falling down?  
Edge: Stay on topic here. Who will be going in those chairs?

(Chitter you naive fool.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Chitter still thinks that Red is just a friendly kink master.)

Edge: Look, if you all don't help me I’ll just assign positions.  
Blue: How bad can the torture chairs be?  
Red: The fucker was a captain and has ties to his crazy bitch of a scientist.  
Blue: Oh..... um, my Undyne isn't too bad....  
Slim: Our Undyne had close ties to our Gaster. VERY close ties.  
Blue: Oh no.

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Ummmm.... I know!!! *Runs to a corner and pulls a broken piece of narrow piping.* We can break this apart and draw straws!

***  
Bookwyrm  
.............  
*It’s Slim, Blue, and Red that enter the chairs.*

Viewing Room:  
Chitter: Oh this is so exciting!  
Axe: Oh there's salami....mmmmmmm.

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Please tell me this is where the lemon bars come in hfdjfkfk)

Traps: Brother! You shouldn’t eat random lunch meat you just find willy-nilly! We need to cook it first!

Torture Room:  
Razz: Ahhh, I see our lovely contestants have been selected.  
Slim: STOP IGNORING THE QUESTION AND ANSWER ME!  
Razz: *Continues ignoring it.* No need to discuss things I may or may not have meant in a fit of rage. IT'S TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!  
Red: .... If I don’t make it out of this.... Comic. I want ya ta know that ya suck ass and can go sit on a dick!  
Comic: ....zzzzzz.....

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Or did you have something else in mind for the chairs?)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh no I love the lemon bar idea)

*Three trays are lowered towards the chairs, piled 4 lemon bar layers high in a pyramid.*  
Razz: The chair that finishes first will earn their room's freedom!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: AND WHAT HAPPENS TO THE OTHERS?  
Razz: Well.... see those saws on the ceiling above you? That will be the fate of the losers.  
Slim:..... Please don't tell me those are what I think they are.....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Yes! Those are a mix of Helen’s and ones her children made! Which are somehow WORSE.  
Slim: I am suddenly glad Stretch isn't up here.  
Red: Wait! NO NO NO! I HEARD ABOUT THESE FROM SLIM!  
Razz: I bet you fucking did. No time limit this time..... only that the lemon bars cannot be shared or destroyed, only eaten. The doors stay locked, no one leaves until someone finishes their lovely LOVE bars!

(Dude I have been doing so many painted rocks, holiday season is always busy. I gotta dig through my old shell collection for large shells to paint some too. I am branching into canvas and shells now)

*****CRAFT TANGENT*****

***  
HomeHawk12  
(The style of your gnomes is too adorable can't handle how cute they are)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(My mom saw those 3 rocks, told me she wanted her own, but not these ones, with 4 gnomes, and not just the 3 gnome rock with an added gnome where the morel mushroom is.)  
(The town consignment shop is putting them up for me. On Etsy and have my number for commissions!)  
(Well Gift/Consignment, it does lots of glass stuff, paintings, handmade soaps/candles/lotions, handmade scrubbies and crochet/knit stuff, even local honey!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(NICE! That's awesome you are able to make money on selling your crafts! I offer crafts to sell too through Etsy.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Actually it’s my first real painting to sell, I've done duct tape pens before and some hot glue with reusing old frames. I'm excited to see if people like it!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(this is the stuff I make!)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(THOSE ARE FREAKING SNAZZY!  
BLUES SHOES!)

***  
HomeHawk12  
(Thank you so much! As I said I sell them, I just don’t hardly get commissions. I think the price may be a factor but a lot of their parts are from Japan so that wracks up the price, plus the handmade parts of the clothing. Takes forever to sew.)

***  
Bookwyrm  
(Hand made will always have a bit more of a price variance, my stuff is 10 to 20 dollars, mainly for the price of a good rock, my sealant, and how many different colors I used, its easier to do commission/custom with just paint)

*****BACK TO LEMON BAR HELL*****

***  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: ....... Nyuhuhuhuhuhhhh *Just starts bawling. He is absolutely done.*  
Red: ....Edge, I can’t do this.  
Edge: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T DO THIS!?!?!  
Red: Even I have my limits Boss! I. Can’t. Do. This.

***  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: A-are they that bad???  
Slim: BLUE, my brother IS FUCKING USING THEM FOR TORTURE WHAT DO YOU THINK???

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: *Whimpers,* I wonder where Rus and the others are?

Dove: *Kicks down the blue door, with Burb slung over his shoulder.* HOLD ON GUYS WE ARE COMING TO HELP!!!!

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Hmpf..... and here I was hoping you would save yourselves. Very well. Dove and Burb may help eat the lemon bars. You all are lucky they are more merciful and kind souled than I.

Viewing Room:  
Chitter: Undyne, who are you rooting for? I am on the Blue x Edge ship!  
Traps: That’s clever, using food as a bait AND torture!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Blue: THAT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!  
Razz: Mwahahah! That’s the funniest shit I’ve heard from you yet!  
Blue: It’s true! You saved my brother from getting cut in half by Edge just so I wouldn’t be sad! And you were the leading force in his room remodel just because you didn’t want him dusting from insect bites! You are a good person even if you don’t believe it!!! *Blue gains +10 charisma for being tied to a chair.*  
Razz: .....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: You do know you were riding on my past, unaddressed traumas of seeing every single one of my S Series siblings dust in fights or sheer agony, right? The too many nights I’d wake to one less set of eyelights, one less soul? It was nice getting to pretend for just a moment, I’ll admit that. Blue, I am made and trained for the battle, to fight and to kill, what makes you think I'd change so easily?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Because you gave change a chance, and that’s more than many people would ever willingly try! You wanted to become a better person for Slim so you could repair your hurt relationship and be brothers again! You even agreed to visiting Stretch and I, and I know for a fact that you hate the whole multiverse concept. I saw it the whole time while we were hanging out together shopping for suits, you encouraged me to try something new. You even helped Slim out of his stage fright when we were showing the suits off, and how you tried helping me become a more assertive brother! I’ve learned so much from you Razz, and I know you are learning a lot from us too!  
Razz: .... *Leans away from his microphone, listening intently to Blue’s ‘power of friendship’ speech. He is thinking.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Viewing Room:  
Chitter: OMG! OMG THAT’S SO CUTE, USE THAT FRIENDSHIP POWER BLUE! YOU DO IT! THIS IS BETTER THAN ACTUAL SAW!  
Rus: .... they do know they should get to eating before the food is stale right?

Razz:....... *Thinking it over and kinda wants to see what silence does to the "contestants."*

***  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Slim: .... H-he’s not saying anything..... What does that mean?  
Blue: I-I think it means I’m getting through to him?  
Dove: In that case, perhaps we should ALL offer up kind words!

Viewing Room:  
Ace: .....Oh god this is gonna be so cringe....

***  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Edge: .... I only want to stab him five times?

***  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Almost, but try to avoid negative words!  
Slim: You are the greatest bro! And I don’t care what you say! You will always be my big brother!  
Blue: Yes! Just like that!  
Razz: *Spins around in his chair to face the opposite wall, where the hundreds of pictures of him sleeping are currently hung on display. He put them there as motivation.... now he wasn’t sure.... what else would the guinea pigs say?*

***  
Bookwyrm  
Red: YER A MEAN FUCKER BUT I'D TRUST EDGE WITH YOU!  
Stretch: *Vomits honey colored magic in the corner.*  
Comic: ...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ..... *Can’t tell if his soul is currently growing a few sizes from the kindness, or if it’s his medical condition from the whole “dying” thing acting up.*  
Bubo: *Sniffle.*  
Ace: Don’t tell me you’re crying over that shit!  
Bubo: I-It’s just... so sweet *Sniffle.*

***  
Bookwyrm  
(I'm pinning pics that need to be added in, don't worry bout it)

*Razz decides to do an impromptu soul exam to try and figure it out.*

Blue: I REALLY ENJOYED THE TIME WE SPEND AND THOSE DESSERT BURRITOS MAYBE NEXT TIME WE CAN LEAVE OUT THE DRUGGING!

***  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ..... *HP currently at 450 max, flavour text says “Emotionally conflicted. Is revenge really the right call?”*  
Razz: .........  
Edge: Razz you fucker! After I punch your lights out I still plan on building that stupid flying car with you!

(Lol gotcha, I saw the pin of that drawing and thoughts that’s where we were going djfjfkk)


	22. Razz Has Regerts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz rethinks and recalculates. Chitter literally needs to calm her feathers. Don't worry, she gets better at consistent plot sometime. Someone give stretch a bucket.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ...... *decided that the lemon bars are enough retribution for him, he just won't tell them he isn't going to kill the other two yet. * You should begin. I will think on your words.

*****  
HomeHawk  
Blue: W-wait! Razz!  
Razz: .....  
Dove: D-does that mean we should start eating.  
Stretch: *Vomits up a second round of honey colored magic.*  
Red: ... damn...  
Slim: *Sniffles*.... I DON’T WANNA!!!!!  
Blue: H-he said he would think about it! That has to mean something..... I hope....

Razz: *Leaning back in his chair staring at the ceiling, still unable to place the odd feeling in his soul. He REALLY hoped he wasn’t about to dust in this old factory.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: .....*It feels odd to hear Slim, his puppy, cry out like that.*

Edge: It is up to you three, but I have no idea how he would react if we didn't at least slowly comply.

*****  
HomeHawk  
Dove: TECHNICALLY FIVE!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: So who are you going to help with the lemon bars? There's two of you and three of them. I highly doubt any monster can handle too many of those torture bars.

*****  
HomeHawk  
Dove: HE NEVER SAID WE COULD ONLY HELP ONE OF YOU EACH!!!!! WE CAN PICK OUR WAY THROUGH EVERYONES! COME BROTHER! LET’S BEGIN! *Shoves Burbs napping face into Red’s plate.*  
...  
*Burb’s entire body goes stiff, and within a few seconds he is rushing over to the corner with Stretch and throwing up alongside him.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Dove: WELL, THAT’S A PROBLEM.  
Edge: NOW DO YOU SEE HOW EFFECTIVE RAZZ’S TORTURE METHODS ARE!?!

*****  
HomeHawk  
Dove: I AM CONFUSED.... WE DON’T HAVE TONGUES, SO HOW CAN WE EVEN TASTE?  
Red: Magic ya dumbass! How else do ya think walking talking skeletons get around???  
Dove: I KNOW IT’S MAGIC! BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE MECHANISM!  
Blue: How did we start on this topic again?  
Slim: Alright..... someone give me a lemon bar before I chicken out again.  
Comic: ...... zzzzzzzzz.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Viewing Room:  
Axe: Oof, those lemon bars are awful. I mean, better than starving, but damn.  
Traps: THIS IS SO INTENSE AND COOL! MAYBE RAZZ WOULD LET ME HELP WITH THE NEXT ONE!!!

*****  
HomeHawk  
Axe: .... We’ll see about that. Maybe leave some of your ideas in the opinion box for now?  
Traps: GREAT IDEA!!!!

Torture Room:  
Red: Oh..... OH GOD THEY’RE AS BAD AS SLIM SAID!!!! *Struggles to not cough up the one lemon bar he’s managed to eat. How the hell did this woman sell these at bakes sales?!* WHAT ARE THESE MADE OF?!?!!  
Slim: YOU DON’T WANT THAT QUESTION ANSWERED!  
Comic: .... ZZZZZZ.....  
Red: ..... Ya know what? I THINK COMIC NEEDS A WAKE UP CALL! LET'S GIVE HIM A PIECE!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: Red don't you dare! I don't want to know the consequences of breaking rules!

*****  
HomeHawk  
Red: UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS IS TORTURE!!!!!!  
Edge: YOU ONLY ATE ONE PIECE!!! TRY BLUE’S METHOD.  
Blue: *Shoves three into his mouth at once and buries his face in the back of the chair to prevent himself from vomiting.*  
Edge: YOU ARE GOING TO BE CUT IN HALF AT THIS RATE.  
Red: Ya know what. I lived a life. Not necessarily a good one, but mustard was involved, and I got to experience ALL sorts of weird shit.  
Edge: STOP BEING GROSS!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Red: I have fought, I have fucked, and I have had a lil fun too. I can die satisfied.  
Edge: STOP BEING DRAMATIC! *Walks up and shoves 3 bars in Red's mouth as he is talking.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(got another draft ready for proof)

*****  
HomeHawk  
(Nice! About 75% though other one, at least where annoying dog shows up fifjfjdk)

*Red’s sockets go void and he struggles like a mad man, unable to escape Edge’s grip. After several minutes he falls limp, sockets still void and breathing heavy.*  
Red: *Wheezing.* Dear god what a horrible way to go.... *Cough* … how much is left????

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: .......like....forty.  
Red: Fuuuuuuuuuuck.  
(A 1, 4, 16, 36 layer pyramid.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*The skeletons are about a fourth of the way through the servings. It took two hours to get this far, and they were all trying to eat at the same speed so they would all be close to tied. The sounds of their cries and gagging is truly indescribable.*

Viewing Room:  
Ace: UGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I’m so bored!!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Axe: It’s pretty brutal. Torture isn’t supposed to be fun, really just effective.  
Chitter: I think they should try to romance Razz out!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: ...... I have a feeling that won’t work out as well as you expect.  
Chitter: I-I’m sure he just needs some sweat talk, maybe even..... *Giggles.*  
Axe: ...... Stars you really do have a death wish don’t ya?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: Razz doesn't seem to be receptive to advances. I know both Berries didn't know my brother was flirting

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Axe: Seeing how he’s taken his frustration out on the others, I think I lucked out with him being oblivious.

Torture Room:  
Slim: SANS WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US!? YOU NEVER EXPLAINED THIS TO ME!  
*Screen comes on with the photo that started this whole thing, Slim’s sockets going void and sinking into his chair. It was all HIS OWN fault.*  
Slim: Ah..... I-I see....  
*Just needs to pretend it wasn’t his fault for the photo leaking and he might survive.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Hmmmm..... I’ll let that pun slide, once I find the main culprit. So far Stretch is the main suspect...... any thoughts, my little rodents?  
Edge: WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT STUPID?!?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: *Sweating..... sinks even further into his chair.*  
Blue: *Cough! Gag! Cough!.* Urrggggg..... I’m starting to feel... *BELTCH!!!*  
Stretch: OH GOD BRO STOP WITH THE NOISE I'M GONNA PUKE AGAIN.

Viewing Room:  
Traps: Oh! We need to figure out who leaked the adorable photo! I wonder who it was?!?!  
Axe: .... well, Stretch is the obvious suspect..... I really don’t think Blue would do it willingly. He’s too honest. Comic though....

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Edge: STRETCH JUST ADMIT YOU LEAKED IT ALREADY! WE MIGHT GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE IF YOU COME CLEAN!  
Stretch: *Cough.* B-but I didn’t share that photo with anyone!  
Edge: LIES!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: You have pretty much been a slut for punishment, AND been pressing Razz’s buttons almost the entire time I have seen you interact with him!  
Stretch: no more than gags I would identify on my brother! Maybe a little less- *Heaves!*Good natured!  
Edge: RAZZ ISN'T BLUE! HE WON'T REACT THE SAME ALWAYS!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Stretch: I NEVER SHARED THE DAMN PHOTO THOUGH! THAT’S THE WHOLE POI- Oh shit- *Hurls up more honey colored magic.*  
Red: WOULD YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP! *Swallows, trying to stop himself from barfing.* It doesn’t matter anymore!  
Edge: DOES THAT MEAN IT WAS YOU???  
Red: NO! I’m saying the photo was shared already and outing one of us would literally give them a death sentence!  
Blue: ..... urrgggg.... y-you okay Slim? You look ready to pass out....  
Slim: *Whimper.*

Viewing Room:  
Chitter: GASP! T-this all gives me so much inspiration!

Chitter Kittens Returns (now that the skeletons are together again):  
*The little Nekos have eaten all the chicken off their plates, most of them yawning looking ready for a nap.*  
Blue: *Still the gayest.* My little angels are all SOOOO precious~  
Red: Oh thank Christ they’ll quiet down-  
Edge: MELK PWEASE!  
*Looking up at Red with big starry eyelights.*  
Slim: Melk Melk yay!  
Razz: ..... I want Melk too....  
Comic: What’s Melk?  
Burb: .... *BURP*.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: Look! He is out for blood and has demonstrated that he is VERY serious. I am hoping he will not actually kill the culprit. Just make them very very wish they were dead then LEAVE THEM ALIVE TO REMEMBER THE EXPERIENCE. *Is trying to give Razz ideas to keep them all alive.*

CHIT KITTIES 2!  
*A whole chorus of "MELK" has started to ring out.*  
Blue: ........ My babies are adorable. Look at them!  
Red: HEY YOU LITTLE SHITS!-  
"MELK! MELK! MELK! MELK! MELK! MELK! MELK!"

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ..... Hmmmm..... so they are turning against each other? Or perhaps this is a ploy to draw me out? .... Not that they know I won’t kill them all.....

Torture Room:  
Blue: Guys please! We need to trust Razz!!! He said he would think on our words!  
Edge: YOU ARE DEALING WITH FELLS FOR STARS SAKE!!!! WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!  
Blue: BECAUSE I TRUST HIM!  
Edge: GAHHHHH!!!!!

Chit Cats:  
Blue: RED WATCH THE BABIES!!! I’m going to warm some milk up!  
Red: WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH- What are you doing?  
*Razz is staring up at Red’s zipper pull near his neck. His inner predator was suddenly active once again.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Blue: I Want to believe the best in him!  
Edge: Well he certainly is doing HIS BEST TORTURE!  
Slim: Um....I...I know Razz can be nice, I also know he saves it for those he can trust..... I've never seen what he'd do to someone that broke his trust. Loyalty and trust are two different things for my brother.

Chit Kits:  
*Razz launches at the shiny, using his fierce baby teeth to bite.*  
Red: YOU TINY FUCKER! *Is knocked down.*  
*The other babies and Axe take the opportunity for a cuddle pile on top of a warm monster.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Off topic, I got a new tablet and I’m christening it with baby skele cats!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(look AT THE BABIES OMG. Those ears fit better than the fold ears! LOOK AT THEM!)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I was trying to make baby Fell but it looks more like Slim XD I made his eyes too round tjfjdk)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh I thought it was the bro pair, look at him strangle the plushie tho!)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Tried a version with Scottish fold ears fbjkhfd they aren’t easy to do without making them dog like)

*****  
Bookwyrm-  
(Maybe round the tips?)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
  


*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Yeah, it looks more scot fold now, but I am not actually good at consistent drawing.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Lol it’s all good)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I know the ears make their faces more boxy but these are skeletons with a set structure)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The fur also makes their ears blend with the head almost seeing them side by side)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(But damn if they aren't cute looking. Imagine having these two in your house.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I have a feeling SOOOO much stuff would get broken and I wouldn’t even care XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(They could get away with MURDER. I could see them being Slim and Edge.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I-I don’t understand?  
Slim: Y-you know? You can be loyal and follow a monarch's order to a T, but their personal feelings towards each other never goes beyond that. Trust is deeper, and hurts when broken. *Slim himself is feeling worse and worse. He feels like the scum of the earth, especially after that speech. *  
Blue: W-wait... what’s wrong? Are the lemon bars making you cry? Please don’t cry.

Chitter Kitters:  
Blue: I have the milk~ OH MY GOSH YOU ARE THE BOTTOM OF A PILE OF CUTE!!!! I NEED TO GET MY PHONE!!!  
Red: DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!!!!!  
Razz: Quiet! SHHHHH!  
Red: YOU DON’T GET TO SUSH ME YA LITTLE SHIT!  
Slim:... Shit?  
Burb: SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Slim: *Is a sad boy ....choking down lemon bars.* In a Fellverse Underground, you don't just trust anyone. It's like .... leaving your soul near a target at a firing range.  
Edge: You don't show weakness or any softness. People will shoot for the chinks in the armor.  
Blue: That’s awful....  
Red: *Trying hard to eat another bar. * If you have people depending on ya, it's even harder. That's a Hurt-Me bullseye. It takes a fuck ton of work to keep anything worthwhile.  
Dove: That sounds like no way to live.  
Red:....

Chit Kits:  
Blue:...... Red. *Sets the kid friendly sippy cups down (Blue won't make his babies drink milk like some bar flies!). He goes back into the kitchen, and gets a bar of soap.* Red I will wash your mouth out.  
Razz: ....shit?  
Red: Look Blue, I ain't gonna be able to stop entirely.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Red: So try putting it into perspective, trusting someone is like laying your soul out against a firing squad and praying they don’t shoot ya in the back. When “someone” pulled the PJ shit, on top of sharing the photo-  
Blue: it was like the firing squad.... fired?  
Edge: Yes, from a monster that didn’t share your same Tale ideas on the meaning of trust, it’s like taking a submachine gun and showing no mercy.  
Slim: ........ I can’t take the guilt anymore!!!!

Chit Chat:  
Razz: *Pointing his finger directly up Red’s nasal cavity.* U Shit?  
Edge: He Shit!  
Slim: Shit Shit Shit!!!!!  
Blue: ..... Red I think they think your name is Shit.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Slim: I DID IT TO EXPLAIN TO HIS WORK HOW SICK HE WAS, OKAY??? I DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH! I JUST DIDN'T WANT HIM TO LOSE HIS JOB THAT HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS! I ONLY SENT IT TO HIS BOSS AND I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD GET AROUND LIKE THIS!

CHIT KITS!  
Red: *Flashes some magic.* I am Red... REEEED.  
edge: .......shit.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
*Everyone looks at him shocked.*  
Edge: Wait.... so it wasn’t STRETCH that sent the photos?!  
Slim: NO! I’M REALLY SORRY SANS! I DIDN’T KNOW YOUR BOSS WOULD SHARE IT! HE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU DIRECTLY BUT YOU WERE ASLEEP AND WHEN YOU WEREN’T ASLEEP YOU KEPT TALK ABOUT FLUFFY MUSHROOOOOMMMSSS!!! IT WAS ALL I COULD THINK OF TO SHOW THAT YOU WERE REALLY SICK!!!!  
Razz: ...... *Sockets go out and he leans away from his desk trying to process the news. It was his own Brother that did the ultimate betrayal.... but he was trying to protect the job Razz really enjoyed..... how was he supposed to feel about this?????*

Chitty Kitties:  
Red: MY NAME IS RED! Say it with me. REEEEEDDDDDD!  
Razz: REEEEEDDDDDD SHIT.  
Red: WHY YOU LITTLE-  
Blue: RED!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(OK so I'm trying something new for my rocks, actual planning out my rocks and not going in blind)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Ohhh those look lovely! It’s hard to go wrong with butterflies XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: I KNOW I FUCKED UP NOW SANS, AND I DIDN’T MEAN TO! *Tears starting to fall.* I WAS WORRIED AND IT'S ALL AWFUL NOW!  
Razz: *Is shell shocked....... drops in a box of sandwiches in panic, and is spacing out at his Desk Of Evil.*

Chit Cats:  
Axe: ....shit.  
Red: You know better, Axe!  
Blue: Red you need to be nicer to the kids!

(I can only do one, they are the same rock outline, opinion on the better?)

*****

HomeHawk12  
(They are both pretty. I really like the shape of the first one, but if you want to go for more colour variation then the monarch is better.)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I feel like I am definitely going to obsess over this one. I want it to be good!)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The detailing is going to look gorgeous, I have a feeling it will turn out great!)

*The box of edible food falls from the ceiling, the same spot where the single wet wipes came from.*  
Red: OH THANK CHRIST I CAN WASH THIS SHIT DOWN WITH SOMETHING!!!!  
Slim:..... Sans?  
*Razz has retreated under his Desk Of Evil hoping for a safe space to think. He didn’t feel as exposed under it, but now everyone was confused.*

Viewing Room:  
Traps: WOWIE! I was not expecting that development!  
Chitter: OMG SLIM WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP HIS BROTHER AND IT ALL TURNED INTO SUCH A MESS! THIS IS JUST LIKE THE PLOT OF THAT ONE ANIME!!!  
Bubo: He hasn’t responded to the confession except to drop food.  
Axe: ..... I don’t like how quiet he’s being.

Chitter Chats:  
Red: Ya know what! It's nap time!  
Razz: Shit Red!  
Red:.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Is having a mini panic attack, not really able to comprehend this new development, needs a bit to mull this over. It’s a good thing he made sure no one can get to him in his Office Of Mania*

Torture Room:  
Stretch: *Would be teasing Edge if he wasn't throwing up again.*  
Slim: *Is quietly crying, Fells either silent cry or fly into violent rages.*  
Edge: ....... um. At least the sandwiches are labeled? Peanut butter honey, ham and cheddar, turkey and parmesan, and ......... chicken and mozzarella.......who wants what?

Chit chat:  
*Red grabs his hella gay, plaid couch blanket and wraps the fluffies up. Insta baby burritos.*  
Red: Blue, if ya want to cuddle them get on the couch.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Comic: I’ll take the mozzarella one.  
Red: I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING!  
Comic: Heh.  
Edge: Do you want the honey one Stretch?  
Stretch: *Throws up even more at the word “honey.”*  
Blue: ..... Razz? Can we talk?  
Razz: *Heavy breathing, staying away from the microphone. They’ve seen him vulnerable enough already.*  
Blue: Please talk to me. I’m not mad, I promise.  
Razz: ..... not mad? Hmph, what an obvious lie..... *Hugs his knees trying to ignore the sincerity in his voice. He overreacted again. He didn’t even ask why his coworkers had the photo. Just assuming it was shared to intentionally harm him. What could he do now?*  
....  
*The full box of wet wipes are sent down a few minutes later.*

Chitter Twitter:  
*Blue is already on the couch with his hands outstretched and ready for his bundles of joy.*  
Red: ..... just take the little shits already. *Hands them over, Blue snuggling them excitedly. Most of them fall asleep immediately in his arms, but Razz is taking a while. He’s watching Red, getting upset when he starts to leave the room.*  
Razz: SHIT! SHIT REEEEEEDDDDD!!!!! *Reaches for him needily.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
*Blue and Edge both zero in on those THANK FUCK!*  
Blue: OH I CAN FEEL AT LEAST LESS NASTY NOW!  
*Comic is 'sleep munching ' a sandwich.*  
Red: Comic ya lazy bastard! ..... you better fucking hand me on of those ham ones.

Razz: *Is curled up to hold his legs, feeling like nothing he ever does ends up right. Not this, not his brother…. not anything....*

Chitter is a Sucker for Babies:  
Blue: RED WE CAN BE PLATONIC TOTALLY NOT GAY FOR EACH OTHER PARENTS! I WANNA BE THE MOM!  
Razz: *Makes the grabby hands* REEEEEEEEDDDD!  
Red: *Is totally a manly gay man, can't resist the grabby hands move over Blue...*  
*The two larger monsters now have the cats between them.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
*Blue and Edge are too busy taking their bones apart and wiping between the joints to pay attention to much else.*  
Dove: S-small Sans? Why have you gone so quiet?  
Razz: ...... *Reaches the panel and clicks the release lock button, all doors in the facility clicking open. They could leave now and never have to deal with him ever again. Just forget about him..... like a bad dream.*

Chitter Fever:  
Red: *Holding Razz as he crawls away from the brood and crawls into Red’s jacket, clutching on to make sure he won’t leave them again.*  
Red: ..... Just call me daddy then.  
Blue: Oh I love you so much my love! Platonic love of course!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Slim: *Is now very very worried. Sans isn't just quiet. *  
Red: THANK TORIEL'S BUSTY FIGURE!!! *Gets up to leave, barely holding in the awful bars.*  
Comic: *Gets up to a random door and opens it to find his brother.*

Chit Cats:  
Blue: Wait Red! I changed my mind! wanted to be the dad! You can be the mom! I'll still platonically love you though.  
Red: in what universe am I a mom??? Fuck that!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Rus: SANS! There you are! Who would have thought you were literally in the room next to us?!  
Comic: Heh. Sup bro? Good ta see ya all enjoyed the show.  
Red: *Stops dead in his tracks.* HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE DOORS LEAD???? WERE YOU IN ON THIS?!?!

Chitter Kits:  
Red: Just look at me. *Slow pan up his whole body.* If I was a mom, this would be disturbing.  
Blue: ...... You do have a good point, but you’re the better cook!  
Red: Now that’s just sexist!  
(Red in this cat scene)

*****  
HomeHawk12

(Swapfell Baby Nekos!)

*****

Bookwyrm  
(Look at the baby astronauts HOLY HELL)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(They gonna murder ALL the thumb tacks)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Comic: Razz said he needed an even number and didn't want to hurt Axe or Traps. And the bird guys were cool. So it was me or Rus. And I said that I could infuriate anyone in the same room easily. The guy didn't exactly know what to do to scare Rus either. I don't think he knows how to interact with my bro.  
Red: YOU FUCKER!

Chitter: OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE SAW!!!

CHIT KITS:  
Blue: And you discipline better than me! And multitask better!  
Red: *Narrows sockets.* You make that Dijon mustard again and it's a deal.  
(Imagine THEM DESTROYING PUFFBALLS.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Torture Room:  
Slim: W-wait! If you were in on the whole thing, you know where my brother is right now, yeah?  
Comic: Technically yeah, but I don’t think that’s-  
Slim: Please take me to him! I need to talk to him now!

Chitter Catters:  
*The next day.*  
Blue: Everyone say bye to mommy! He’s going to work now!  
Razz: NO!  
Red: Come on kid, I closed yesterday for you ankle biters. I can’t afford ta do it again. Blue will take care of ya.  
Razz: NO! *Clamps onto his leg like a monkey.*  
Red: You wanna leave your siblings alone?  
Razz: NO!  
Red: Well, that’s what’s gonna happen if you come with me.  
Razz: NOOOO!!!!

(Oh god the attack of the puffball XD now I’m imagining them with all the yarn too and it’s a massacre fndjdjck)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Those wings have killed me. So freaking hard)

*****

HomeHawk12  
(IT LOOKS SO GOOD THOUGH! I love it so far!!!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Torture Room:  
Comic: So, like, I saw only a few doors. It's not like I got a map and a cookie. Just a quick, wham bam slam the door. He was not in a tour guide mood. Very pissed and very very ready to burn everything. I mean I can show ya what I saw though.

Chit Chat:  
*Razz is pure distress. It's awful! Momma Red is leaving! Nu!*  
Blue: Look! I got toys and ball to play with-  
Razz: REEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Search Team:  
Comic: *Walks Slim and through a back hallway. Stretch was still throwing up a lot, and Rus was too busy ogling over all the traps with.... Traps. They pass several rooms on the way.* That room had a bunch of gas tanks in it. Pretty sure that houses the components for the flamethrower in the restroom. And this room was, like, a morgue I think? I don’t know he didn’t tell me more-  
Slim: How close are we?!  
Comic: Be patient, I’m still trying to remember.

Chit Kit:  
Blue: *Looking to Red.* I-I mean, I have a baby sling, if you don’t mind him riding on your stomach all-  
Red: Hell no! I’m a bar owner! I am NOT bringing a baby anywhere near alcohol!  
Razz: REEEEEEEEEDDDDD!!!!  
Red: Just hold him while I leave.  
Razz: NUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!  
*Red leaves, all while Razz is wailing like he just saw his brothers get crushed by a semi. Separation anxiety is not a good thing.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Search Team:  
Comic: Dude, I got, like, ten minutes of half drugged time to look. I think at one point I saw rainbows.  
Slim: Look, I just want my brother.

Chitty kitty:  
Blue: just wait Razzy, tomorrow is girls night at the bar, he will totally take you.  
Razz: *Is scratching at the door, forlornly.* ......*Sniff*..... Reeeeeeeddddd......

  
  
*****

HomeHawk12  
Search Team:  
Comic: Okay, I’m pretty sure the control room is in this hallway. I’m not sure which room exactly, but I think it was in this hallway.... hey that’s the rainbow I saw! *Slim looks over to see a spray painted rainbow as well as other graffiti left over the decades.*

Chitter: Kitters:  
Razz: *Sitting in a corner still sniffling* .... *hic*..... Reeeeeeeeeeed.....  
Edge: Look bru! Look! So soft!!! *The tiny skeleton literally drags his bear over to try and cheer Razz up. It doesn’t help.*  
Burb: Blocks blocks! *The winged one brings over some stuffed blocks to help his brother too, but he isn’t interested. He wants his mama darn it!*  
Blue: ......Hmmmmm.... OH! Have you kids ever seen Sesame Street?

(DUDE IT LOOKS SO PRETTY COLORED!!!! GOOD JOB XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(It was a bitch but look at the QUEEN)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The white spotting especially really makes it pop. She LOOKS the part of a Queen dndbfjfk)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Proper monarch........... I am tempted to put a tiara on her)  
*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Joining the ranks of true royalty XP)

  
  
*****

Bookwyrm  
Search Team:  
*Slim and Comic find a few actual key locked doors at the end of the hallway.*

Desk of Evil:  
Razz: *Is just ...... existing for a bit. Feeling like the world is against him. The one person he wouldn't ever kill for betrayal..... betrayed him in an entirely unintentional way...... *

Chitty kitty:  
*Razz is terrified of the big yellow thing. Hides in blues arms. NOT DEALING WITH THAT.  
Burb loves the bird.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Search Team:  
Comic: Huh, didn’t know you could pick locks.  
*Slim is on his knees having summoned tiny bones and sticking them in the lock trying to turn it.*  
Slim: I learned it from Muffet. My bro always thought lock picking was beneath us, as he had high status when he became Captain.  
Click. The first door unlocked.

Desk of Evil:  
Razz: *Continuing to exist, head falling against the wall as he sinks deeper into his thoughts. Okay, so today he NEARLY killed the one person he would normally never do that to.... not one of his finest moments, but the Ashtray did get him out in time.... somehow.... stars he’s an idiot... and tired....*

Chit Kits:  
Blue: Look! It is Oscar the grouch!  
*Razz somehow feels a weird connection to the green puppet, and REALLY wants to steal its trash can- OH NO THE BIRD CAME BACK!!!!*  
Blue: DON’T WORRY RAZZY! He’s a nice bird! See? He wants to share with Oscar.  
Razz: NUUUUUUU OSCAR NUUUU!!!!  
Comic: ..... zzzzzz.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz used to just blast the door down with his pure authority.)

Search Team:  
*The first room that they opened is quite obviously where Razz keeps the spare junk. The saw sign resting on a wall and there are reverse bear traps and more replicas.*  
*Comic is suddenly realizing just HOW serious razz could have been. He just went more personal instead.*

Desk of Evil:  
Razz: *eyelights dulling, he looks small and vulnerable*

Chit kits:  
(Poor Razzy is on edge, can't even enjoy the show as that bird shows up all the time)

*Razz bounces from his brothers, following Axe around, and checking up on Blue. Edge keeps tussling with the lazy boys, even when they don't want to.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The reverse bear traps just aren’t as fun when bone is used instead of fletch and blood. Not nearly as big of an explosion dkdjdnf)

Search Team:  
*Comic’s eyelights are out as he follows Slim to the next door to be picked. He realizes that Razz was DEAD serious about killing them and Comic could have easily become a victim of ‘Friendly Fire’ as Razz likely wouldn’t have cared. The guy needs therapy.*  
*Slim picks the lock on the second door, an area full of tools, building supplies and a craft table set up ready for tinkering. Several of the cursed photos are hung up on the wall right at the workstation.*  
Slim: ...*Whimper.*

Desk of Evil:  
Razz: *Eyelights are out now. Thinking has become very hard..... he’ll think more when his mind isn’t fuzzy.*

Chit Chat:  
*Razzy manages to find a cracked window. If he could squeeze through, maybe he could get to Red across the street! He remembered the trip they originally took over here.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ..... Razz only keeps things around that make him angry if he needs the motivation to keep up.  
Comic: Your brother's sick dude.  
Slim: The surface has been very hard on him. And, um….I know the Tale stuff was hard for me to learn.  
Comic: ..... this is still a lot.  
Slim: I mean... I think he could have overthrown the queen if loyalty wasn't so instilled in him. You keep the Underground under control by being the biggest bad. It was probably really hard to try and instantly be passive. Maybe this was.... therapeutic in a way?  
Comic: ....making reverse bear traps is not an approved therapeutic hobby, Slim.

Chit Chat:  
*After checking on everyone once more, Razz squeezes through the window, and starts for the door to the bar. He can't reach the knob with enough pressure to open it, so he waits for someone to open it, then sneaks in. He quickly sees Red, running to hug his leg.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Search Party:  
*Picking the final lock.*  
Slim: I remember he started anger management therapy after we moved to the surface. Then we had that fight..... I’m not sure if he kept up with it afterwards.  
Comic: Not that I like to make assumptions, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t.  
Slim: Yeah.... nyeh, you’re probably right, if the death traps are anything to go on.  
Comic: This really isn’t a laughing matter Slim. This is something he could get charged and go to prison for, and based on how racist you said things are here, that’s probably worse for him.  
Slim: Y-yeah, I know.... I-I’m going to talk to him about this, let him get his anger out on me, and if I survive we will start therapy. Maybe take a trip somewhere far away from everything.  
Comic: .... See, I really don’t like how the main stipulation relies on “if” you survive.  
*Door clicks open.*  
Slim: Sans? Are you in here?

Chitter Kitters:  
Razz: REEEEEEEEEDD!!!!  
Red: What the hell?! How did you get in here?!?!  
*Razz is too busy clasping onto Red’s leg to answer. He finally checks his phone, seeing Blue has called him about ten times already with an eleventh incoming.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Search Party:  
*The bar of fuzzy bones across the door answers that.*  
Comic: Yep. Seems like he wants company. Themurder skeleton.  
Slim: Even I don't know how he was trained for years. Honestly, it was probably only the queen's decree that kept him from a LOT of really not cool things.....

Chitter KITTY:  
Red: Hey Blue. seems a runaway found his way to the bar.  
Blue: Oh Good! You can keep him there then. He was really scared of Big Bird.  
Razz: *Happy purrs.* Mew?  
Red: Look, he ain’t-  
Dove: *Who is a regular and is there with Stretch, Blue’s super gay brother.* Awwwwwwww! Look at the baby!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bar of fuzzy bones?)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(hazy, weak,)

(dammit i didn't type all that)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Gotcha lol)

Rescue Team:  
*Slim stands up straighter.*  
Slim: Bro? Are you in there? Please let me in.  
Razz: ......  
Slim: I’m not mad, I promise! It was all my fault, I should have told you I had sent that to your boss, I really didn’t think this would happen!  
Razz: ..... just go away..... you don’t have to come back ever again, just.... go be happy..... you shouldn’t waste your time with me.....  
Slim: What are you saying?! I’m not leaving you! You need help!  
Razz: ..... *Holding the bones in place was getting very hard.*

Chitter Foursome:  
*Dove watches the commotion, seeing the child clutching Red’s leg like his life depended on it. It was all super adorable.*  
Dove: Where do you suppose that child came from?  
Stretch: Don’t know, but the fake ears and tail are super adorable~ (Trilling to establish stereotypical gayness)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Search Team:  
Razz: I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU ANYMORE.  
Slim: *Isa bit stunned.*  
Comic: .....*is kinda wishing he wasn't here*...

(Oh god I very rarely do angst we’ll unless in a mood)

Chit Chat:  
Red: They ain't fake, little fuzz ball was in my trash with his brothers and now Blue has decided we are platonic parents. And guess who got-  
Razz: Mumma Reeeeeeeed!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Lol I understand the feeling. Writing legit heartfelt scenes between married/dating couples.... not my thing)

Search Team:  
Slim: What the hell are you talking about?  
Razz: Stop acting dumb! On top of upsetting Blue and never apologising, I took that entire ‘photo being shared’ as a declaration of war! I never bothered asking my co-workers why they had it, or even confronting you all directly! My first reaction was to throw you in a LITERAL DEATH GAME!!! That’s not normal!!!!  
Comic: *Wants to make a comment but thinks better of it.*

Chitter Kits:  
Stretch: Pfffftt!!!!!  
Dove: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!!!  
Razz: MAMA REEEED!!!! SHITTTTTTT!!!!  
Stretch: *Has literally fallen out of his chair from laughing so hard, Razz clutching harder to Red’s leg and hissing in response.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I like.... can't understand most couple relationships and just make it two friends that like.... know each other very well and know what makes the other tick to a degree.)

Search Party:  
Slim: Um....I know you've had a hard time adjusting. And you’re right, it is very not okay. But you're my brother, and I'd have been dead long ago if it wasn't... for you. I know you've been trying really hard and you have probably kept it in for way too long. That and your group was literally made for violence. ...... I still love you.  
Razz: ....you shouldn't.... you’re better off with them, I only endanger you all.  
Comic: *Can agree but knows that this is probably a mental snap of some sort, Edge and Red got some in the early days of interaction..... this is just..... twenty times more extreme... *

Chit Chat:  
Razz: PSK! Momma Red! *Rubs head on Red for attention and affection please!*  
Red: Stretch, rein it in 'fore I tell Blue you’re being a bad uncle.  
Stretch: *Approaches the counter to look at Razz better, crouching down in front of him.* Hey there-  
Razz: *Getting more defensive as Stretch gets closer, ears back and tail floofing.* mrrrrrrr..... *Once Stretch crouches too close, Razz springs to pounce on Stretch’s face, full bottle brush.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro same. That’s about the best I can do, then if I attempt to add more romantic flare I’ll run it by another author that I know is really good with ship writing lmao)

Slim: All of us Fells have had difficulty adjusting. How many times do you think Edge nearly killed Stretch?  
Razz: Has he ever dragged him into a death game?!  
Slim: Seriously bro, you are the only monster I know that would think of that. You can’t use that as a base of comparison.  
Razz: ..... you know..... i-it was selfish of me to even bother trying to make amends. I don’t have..... I.....  
Slim: .... please let me in bro. I’m not leaving here, even if you make me camp out for days. I’m not abandoning you, and that is a promise.  
Razz: .....  
Comic: *Takes a few steps back, unsure what to expect. He could tell by the tone in Razz’s voice that he regretted his actions.... he was honestly still on edge that he might snap again though.*

Chitter Litter:  
Stretch: YEOOOCH!  
Razz: mrOOOOOOOWWWWW!!! PSK!!! *Scratches Stretch’s face like his life depends on it.*  
Red: HEY! STAY OFF THE CUSTOMERS!!!! *Grabs Razz around the torso and tries yanking him off, but Razz isn’t ready to let Stretch off the hook.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(OK so I gotta get up insanely early to help my grandparents, see you in the morning)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Goodnight!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do you tell a therapist about your multiverse problems? Razz sure dont know.


	23. Culture Pamphlets And Prank Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start wrapping up with the death games. Plans are made. Chitter is gonna write her soul out and that gets weird sometimes.
> 
> Note, parenthesis means not canon or just a side thing. probably.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Why is furniture soooo heavy in the morning?)

Found Party:  
*Razz lowers the bones, although it’s hard to tell if it was by choice.*  
*Slim rushes into the room, searching for his brother. He has never seen Razz so small and hopeless before.*  
*Comic ..... doesn’t like the look of Razz. There's something off. He hopes it isn't what he thinks it is.*

Chit Kit:  
Stretch: OUCH! DAMN!  
Red: Razz, I’ll tell Blue if you don't let go! You won't get milk kid!  
Razz: *Lets go at that threat.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(IDK man it’s like it’s intentionally built to not only be heavy but awkward to lift imao)

Found Party:  
Slim: Sans?  
Razz: .....’m sorry.....  
*Slim sits on the floor and slides in by Razz for a better look.*  
Slim: ..... stars Sans, what’s happening to you?  
Comic: Slim.... he already gave us that answer.

Chitter Chatters:  
Red: THAT WAS STUPID RAZZ! We do NOT attack people unless they are trying to hurt us! Now apologize.  
*Razz tucks his tail to his stomach and whimpers. He didn’t wanna make mama mad nuuuuuu!*  
Red: Don’t you dare start the water works. Apologize.

******SHORT TANGENT******

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Apparently the reason I needed to be so early was because she had lunch with her friends to get to.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oof, well at least it’s done and over and you have the rest of the day for yourself.)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(She has done this a few times, accidentally leaving out information. Once I had made over 50 duct tape flower pens for what I thought was a craft fair, it was a showing only. The church refused to allow sales in the building)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(That story physically made me cringe. Like, all that hard work for a showing. Should of just stepped outside and sold on the front step lol)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Yep. There were like big painting artists and some sculptors, then a 16 year old me with trinkets that had to keep telling people that no I can't sell them.)

******* BACK TO IT******

Found Party:  
Slim: I want to hear it from him, so he can let it out…. or something.  
Comic: Uuuuh.... I think Razz is a little too tired for that. Building a murder den is a bit of work, and he is having a mental break or something. Maybe not the best time for a heart to heart.

Chitter Kits:  
*Razz is tearing up, his 'lip' pouting, ears guiltily down, gaze to the floor, the picture of sadness. A tear starts to fall.*  
Stretch: *Has fallen to the sad.* Aw buddy, it's ok... you were just scared...  
Red: Stretch no. He has to learn.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh gosh, the fact that people were asking if you were selling just makes it funnier for some reason, especially with a display that looked like you were ready to sell lbgffd)

Found Party:  
Slim: ....... alright, we can talk about it later. Do you think you can stand up?  
Razz: .... can’t we just.... sit here for a few more hours? I-I don’t think I can face the others yet.... I have.... to...  
*Slim makes himself comfortable, ready to wrap an arm around Razz for comforting.*  
Slim: Sure bro... we can rest for a while.

Chit Chat:  
Razz: *Sniffle*..... I-I sorry....  
Red: See? Was that so hard?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(It was nice people wanted them, cus it was my first time at anything like that. I used to just sell them at school. It kinda hurt a lil knowing that even with my number out there no one would call up for pens like that. So I ended up taking them to the consignment shop. I think they still have a few in there)

Found Party:  
*Razz eventually passes out, Slim picking him up to take home.......... leaving Comic to tell everyone that Razz shouldn't be gunning for their lives now. Probably. ....... 50/50 odds.*

Chit Chat:  
Razz: *Is still crying.*  
Stretch: God damn Red. Just hug the lil guy. How can you ignore that?!?  
Dove: Awwwwwwwww.... poor baby!  
Red: .... he just scratched the shit out of you.  
Razz: *Distressed mew.*  
Stretch: Red dude, don't be heartless.  
Red: *Ends up with Razz hugged to his shoulder.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
*Everyone else is hanging out in the lobby, except Stretch who is still in his barf corner. Red notices he’s still wearing the spiky collar, sockets going dark.*  
Red: Shit, you better not still be wearing that thing!!!!  
Stretch: Urg… w-what thing?  
*Red grabs his sticky hoodie and yanks it up, revealing the strap outfit he was wearing drenched in honey. Everyone else is quick to notice too.*  
Red: DAMMIT! THAT THING WAS EXPENSIVE!!! Razz owes me a new one!!!  
Edge: I KNEW THAT COLLAR WAS A SEX THING! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE DOING INCESTUOUS ACTS AT THE TABLE WITH EVERYONE!!!!

Chitter Kitters:  
Red: Alright alright, time ta calm down. I’m proud of you for apologising, now never do it again.  
Razz: *Hic* .... o-okay... *Sniffle.*  
Dove: You are far too harsh! He can’t be more then three or four!  
Red: Hey! I’m the one that took on raising the kid, so I say how I parent!  
Stretch: Do you think anyone is looking for them though? They should have bio parents somewhere, right?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Stretch: IT WASN’T MY IDEA! AND CHITTER WANTED TO DO IT!  
Edge: NO FUCKING WONDER RAZZ SNAPPED. I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING SNAP TOO! THIS IS BLATANT DISRESPECT!

CHIT KIT:  
Red: Look, I haven't had the time to call up CPS yet. I wanted to make sure they weren't gonna dust or run off. And Blue has pretty much adopted them.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Ace: Wait, why were you doing that stuff with them?! Were you... *GASP*.... cheating on me?!  
Chitter: N-N-NO! NOTHING LIKE THAT, I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!  
*Stretch notices Blue’s face is literally lighting up dark cyan like a blueberry from second hand embarrassment. Or maybe he was genuinely embarrassed over the whole thing.*

Chitty Kitty:  
Stretch: Look, if they were kidnapped from their homes and somehow escaped behind your bar, I don’t want the police finding them and falsely accusing you guys of anything. You hear about the wannabe parents that kidnap kids occasionally? And for all we know there could be more out there.  
Dove: LAMBCHOP! *Slaps Stretch in the back of the head.* YOU ARE SCARING THE CHILD WITH THAT TALK!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Chitter: RED WAS TEACHING ME HOW TO BE A BETTER DOM! I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU!  
*Blue can't believe the shit his brother gets into.*

Chitty Chit Kit:  
Razz: *Just doesn't like people in general, has attachment issues, and is a purring mess on Red’s shoulder for getting the attention he wants.*  
Red: Look Stretch, he and his brothers had no names, and Razz was trying his little hardest to keep them safe. They had been out there for a while at least.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Ace: *Blushes profusely at the news and twiddles her fingers.* R-Really? You would do that for me?  
Ace: Of course Undyne! I-I know how much you’ve been wanting to experiment. I just wanted to be the best Dom possible-  
Ace: *No warning. Starts making out with her on the spot.*  
Stretch: BLUE! EDGE WON’T STOP YELLING AT ME!!!!  
Edge: I’LL YELL ALL I WANT YOU SLUTS!

Chitter Chats:  
Stretch: If you say so, but you should think about looking into reported missing children sooner rather than later.  
Red: Whatever.  
Razz: *BURP*  
Red: *Pats Razz’s back like a proud dad.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Blue: Brother, you put this all on yourself. You could have said no.  
Edge: AND YOU TWO! STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. WE ALL GET YOUR MADLY IN LOVE LESBIANS. SAVE IT FOR YOUR PRIVATE LIFE!  
Blue: That collar set doesn't even match well.

Chitty Kitty:  
Red: Yeah, I was gonna report after work, had to make sure they were all safe and shit.  
Razz: SHIT!  
Red: Hey. That’s an adult word, and Blue already is on my case, you stop that.  
Razz: Prrrrreeeeow?  
Red: I see through your cute act.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
*While the four BDSM idiots are single handedly leading Edge to HIS breaking point, Blue spots Comic entering the lobby alone.*  
Blue: *Instant concern.* Comic? Where are Razz and Slim?  
Comic: Slim took Razz home. He blacked out, and really wasn’t in good enough shape to see everyone.  
Blue: *Remembers some of the comments Razz made while yelling through the speakers.* Oh no....  
Red: HEY! WHERE THE HELL IS THAT CRAZY IDIOT?!?! I STILL GOTTA KNOCK HIS LIGHTS OUT!!!

Chitter Chatter:  
Red: Alright, Dove was nice enough to buy some crayons for ya. Can ya stay back here and color till my shift ends?  
Razz: Mama nuuuu!  
Red: How about ya make a picture for the refrigerator back home? I’ll hang it up and everyone will admire it.  
Razz: *Likes the idea of mama Red praising his artwork.* ...Okay.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Sorry, had to get ingredients and cook.)

Lobby:  
Comic: Pretty sure Razz is about to dust his own lights-  
Edge: YOU VILE HARLOTS! THAT IS UNSANITARY DON’T DO THAT ON A FACTORY FLOOR!

Chit Cat:  
*Razz makes a few drawings, scrapping a few. Only the best for the mama Red.*  
Dove: Another Shirley temple please Red. You said there were other babies?  
Red: Yeah, we got Razz, Slim, Edge, Burb, and Comic. Axe has been quite the snuggle bug with them.

*****

HomeHawk12  
(It’s all good lol.)

Lobby:  
Bubo: *Blushing and fumbling.* TIME OUT LADIES TIME OUT! *Snatches the fish and lizard apart before any clothes come off, smooshing each one under a different wing.*  
Ace: LET ME GO YOU FUZZY ASSHOLE BEFORE I CUT YA!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Bubo: .....Undyne, this is very unprofessional-  
Ace: I’M OFF THE CLOCK AND MY GIRLFRIEND IS HOT.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT YOU DISGUSTING SWINE!!!!!  
Red: ... I mean, it is kinda hot-  
Edge: BROTHER I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY BOOT!!!!!  
Red: .... kinky-  
Edge: THAT IS IT!!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: *Grabs his brother.* YOU ARE GOING TO FINISH THOSE DAMN BARS IF IT KILLS ME. *Drags him back to the chairs.*  
Red: BOSS NO! I WAS JUS JOKING! COME ON!  
Edge: I AM WAITING FOR A CLEAN PLATE.  
Bubo: .....well. It seems there is quite the.... disconnect. Between our cultures...

Chit Kit:  
Dove: I’d love to see them!  
Red: Blue is really attached to em.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Blue: Could you two please be serious!!!  
Edge: I AM DEAD SER- *Stops at seeing how watery Blue’s eyelights look. Something is wrong.*  
Edge: What happened?  
Blue: It’s Razz...

Chit Chat:  
*This was it! His Magnum Opis! Move aside masters of the arts, because all of them were going to be outclassed by the beauty that was Razz’s drawing!*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Blue: Razz is falling... *tears in his sockets.*

Chit Kit:  
Razz: *Runs out of the room once finished and slaps Red’s leg with it until he gets his deserved attention.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Red: ..... Hahah Blue, that’s a good one. Now what’s the real problem?  
Comic: He’s being serious. I saw him before Slim took him home. He’s looking real rough. I think this whole mental snap did him in.  
Dove: Oh no!

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:  
Red: I told ya to stay in the breakroom.  
Razz: Mama Red looooooook!!!  
Red: ..... is that a.... boat? Wait..... uhhhhh.... T-Rex?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Edge: How am I not surprised? From what I've seen, Razz’s whole personality and mindset has been bashed repeatedly without reprieve. You said his Gaster was the captain, right? He wasn't a weapon, he was a soldier from childhood.

Chit Kit:  
Razz: Iz momma Red and daddy Blue! Wuv it?  
Red: Yeah fuzzy I like it-  
Razz: Wuv it?  
Red: Sure, I love it-  
Razz: *Starts going around showing bar patrons that Red wuvs the drawing, from a safe distance of course.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Dove: How can you be so cold about this?!  
Edge: Because I understand the type of world he’s from. Our experiences may differ but ultimately we can understand each other in some key ways like this.  
Rus: I-is there anything we can do? There must be some way we could help!  
Red: .......  
Comic: What’s with that look?  
Red: Nothing! Stop questioning me like that!

Chit Chat:  
*Red secretly records a video of Razz in his onesie running around the bar showing his art off to the patrons. He sends it to Blue.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And I just realised I’m getting into spoiler territory, so we’re gonna have to retcon something for them to try.)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I'll follow your lead then! Should I just come up with something weird and out there for Red to say then?)

Chit Chat:  
Blue: 'LOOK AT MY BABY GO.'  
.....  
Stretch: Hey Razzy.... here, try this. *Gives Razz a lemon slice.*  
Red: Oh wait shit-  
Razz: *Experiences the lemon*  
*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Go for it! I’d like to hear what you come up with.)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Red: ...... maybe we can let him ...fight it out? If repressed rage and feeling helpless to the racist humans is the main cause, maybe we can kidnap a few humans or just fight him or something. Give him an outlet? Like, say a tournament to see who is the best fighter of the skeletons.  
Rus: OOOOOH A TOURNAMENT? TO SEE WHO IS THE MOST GREATEST?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Good save! AND we get to write more fight scenes XP)

Lobby:  
Comic: I mean.... we can try it? Or at least ask if he would be up for it.  
Traps: OH I AM TOO EXCITED!  
Ace: ME ME! I WANNA BE IN IT TOO!!!!!  
Blue: I guess I’ll text Slim and see if Razz would be willing.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Red: You a skeleton fish flake? Didn’t think so. Anyways, what kind of tournaments? A Tale one, a free for all, a Royal Guards one, a fist fight.......

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Ace: You Fell blokes are super fun to fight! And I wanna fight all of you!!!!  
Red: If you ain’t preoccupied in the bedroom with your lesbo lizard.  
Comic: What’s the difference? Between tournaments, not lesbian lovers.  
Edge: Tale ones are your pussy turn based kind. Free for all is when we all jump in at once and go for each other Hunger Games style, Royal Guard is one one one fighting typically to the death, and fist fights are obvious.  
Rus: CAN WE NOT FIGHT TO THE DEATH PLEASE?  
Red: Sure Creampuff.

Private Chat:  
BlueBird: Hey Slim. How is Razz doing?  
SlimJim: ....He’s out cold.  
Bluebird: I see....mind if I ask you something?

Chit Kit:  
Razz: GRRRRREOWWWWW!!!! *Screams at the sourness until his face puckers up when it gets too much for him.*  
Stretch: HEHEHE! The kid is hilarious!  
Razz: YOU BAD SHITTTTT!!! PSK!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz made me choke on pepsi, holy shit)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lobby:  
Edge: *To Red.* We can always schedule the death matches in a Fell Underground later.  
Red: We could even have team battles, and themes like maces only or long range only!  
Rus: Oooooor No death matches!  
Edge: That’s not giving your all though!  
Ace: AND ALPHYS CAN MAKE MORE WINGS AND WE CAN DO AERIAL COMBAT!

PM:  
BlueBird: Would fighting out his emotions help? To not only get a sense of normalcy back, but to have a outlet for his anger.  
SlimJim: .... I think Razz would like that. Send me more details?

Chit Chat:  
Stretch: Awwww, lil cutie is upset~  
Dove: *Pulls Razz to his lap, and rubs behind his ears.* Stretch is so mean to you my lil kitty, don't worry, I’ll keep him away  
Razz: *Hasn’t experienced just how wonderful getting just under the ear scratched feels and starts purring and melting in Dove’s lap.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lobby:  
Red: Okay, so we agree. Brother battles, each Sans and Papyrus will battle together, but since some of us have very low HP we can buff it up with a well rested bonus and some specialty items. Once you drop to 10 hp, or 5 in the lower HP cases, you are out.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Huh... like Super Smash, but real life ..... the low HP’ers can dodge well, so it's not too much of a disability.  
Blue: I hope this will help us all understand each other better.  
Edge: .... do you think pamphlets would help? Warning pamphlets?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: A pamphlet is a great idea! I’ll go ahead and tell Slim what the game plan is.  
Dove: AND WE HAVE SO MUCH SPACE FOR A TOURNAMENT ARENA IN MY WORLD!  
Axe: As long as there are refreshments, I’ll be happy.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: Hopefully Razz knows we aren’t entirely mad, just disappointed. He did make a really good Saw room. Just maybe fake not real death if you fail next time. I am certain I will be having nightmares for sure! Should we do the pamphlets by universe or by species? Like a small bit on all the Sanses, pointing out differences and personalities, then a Undyne or Papyrus one? Or just by universe? Or separate ones describing the cultural do's and don'ts?  
Edge: .....hm. Good points.....

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Everyone regroups and Blue’s house (having been dragged to Swapfell) to clean up and create their pamphlets.*  
Edge: Okay! I have complied a pamphlet regarding each universe we know of with an introductory to each and the greatest cultural does and don’ts. Each also has a break down of the most prominent figures they will likely run into from each respective world, as well as basic data on all of us.  
Blue: Wow Edge! You are really thorough!  
Edge: But of course! *Smug asshole energy.* I am naturally great at everything I do!  
Red: Including being a jackass- OW! Stop hitting me!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: THIS IS IMPORTANT SANS! I WOULD RATHER NOT BE INSULTED ANYMORE UNLIKE YOU.  
Red: Oh here we go. Another rant on how no one knows just how great you are.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: HOW CAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW GREAT I AM IF THEY KEEP THINKING MY CRAFT IS NO BETTER THEM SEX PLAY!!!! IT’S DISGUSTING!  
Red: It’s kinky is what you mean- OW! QUIT IT  
!  
*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: I WILL CALL HELEN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP! *He had gotten it from Razz.*  
Red: NOT THAT CRAZY BITCH  
Blue: FOCUS! Let's look at- .... Edge, why do the Tale ones make us sound like frail kids? And half the warnings on the Fell ones basically say to fight out your problems to assert dominance?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: Because basically you all are a bunch of innocent children, and the fighting thing is ABSOLUTELY necessary!  
Blue: Scoot over! *Takes over the computer updating the information.*  
Edge: What do you mean “be firm and kind to win us over?!?!”

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: The Fell skeletons are by far the most merciful of the Fell monsters! Maybe the Guard Undyne/Alphys or the runaway royals.... BUT you will get people killed with this!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: Please! I had an easy enough time with you guys!  
Comic: Hey, how’s it going? *Leans in to read the pamphlets.* Jeez Blue, you’re sugar coating things too much. Scoot over.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: I don't think you've met a Fell without either Comic’s universe or something influencing them. And Razz has trauma that makes him hesitant with you.  
Blue: ..... what's this whole thing about 'body language is everything, don't show fear or aggression'?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: If you show fear, it means you are an easy target and are liable to get kidnapped or dusted. Direct aggression means you want to fight, so you don’t want to do that.  
Blue: .... So basically T pose to assert dominance?  
Red: PFFFFTTT!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: Show no fear but mutual respect, like you know the fight would cause mutual serious wounds, don't show your throat unless it's a taunt kinda thing. You know. Body language.  
Blue: ..... what kind of feral monsters are you?  
Edge: In mid, real not-turn-based battles, body language is very useful. You have to read your opponents.  
Dove: In my universe we have aerial combat, no way for turns in the air.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: There we go. All fixed.  
Blue: Oh! Well both sections do look much better- WAIT A SECOND IS THAT A PUN?!?!  
Red: Holy shit you put puns in all over this thing.

Chitter Kitters:  
Red: How the hell did you do that?!  
Dove: Do what?  
Red:Calm him?!?!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Comic: You let me at the keyboard, what did you expect?

Chitty Kitty:  
Dove: Cats like right below the ear scratched.  
Razz: *Blissful purrs.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chit Kit:  
Red: It took two days and a bonding moment for him to wanna come near me. I’m calling bullshit.  
*Razz falls onto his back, tilting his head up for easier access while showing off his belly.*

Underswap:  
Bubo: Children, I don’t like the amount of arguing coming from in here.  
Blue: A neutral party! Maybe he can help us!  
Bubo: Help with what?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Blue: Trying to make caution pamphlets for the different universes.  
Bubo: .... hm. Maybe just add on all of them to respect boundaries. The Fells seem to have a hard time with people in their space or touching them without permission.  
Edge: You would too if people tried to kill you all the time!  
Bubo: These are to help people understand each other, maybe both of you should work on it? To speak out on how each sees the world and would interpret actions. Like how a Tale vs a Fell would view a stranger’s handshake.

Chit Kits:  
Dove: Cats love cheek rubs too, and show their bellies for trust in you. *Uses both hands to rub Razz’s cheeks.*  
Red: What the fuck man.  
Dove: I have always liked cats.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Underswap:  
Blue: That’s... actually a great idea.  
Edge: Very well. Let us fix this mess of vocabulary.  
Comic: Awwwwww, I worked hard on those puns.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue & Edge: NO!  
Red: How can you delete that amazing thing.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*After many hours of editing and negotiation.*  
Edge: Okay! We have sections from both a Tale perspective AND a Fell perspective on each universe, and appropriate interaction protocols. Per DEMAND, one pun has been included in the general overview, and up to three puns were allowed in the sections for Lazy skeletons. Does that seem fair?  
Red: Eh.  
Comic: Works.  
Blue: I can’t believe we did this it’s SO EXCITING!

Chitter Chat:  
Red: I can’t believe you actually kept him occupied till closing.  
*Razz is dead asleep in Dove’s arms still purring like a motor boat.*  
Dove: I told you cats love ear scratches!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
*Razz is currently sleeping. Slim is unsure if Razz wants cuddles now, as Razz is on him, but he does need to talk further on the pamphlets and tournaments with him.*

Chit Chat:  
Red: I’ll text Blue, and I can go home with the fuzz ball and call CPS to report this.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Slim: *Reluctantly decides it’s time to talk.* Bro? Sans? Can ya hear me?  
Razz: *Very groggily* … zzzzz..... yes Tori..... I’d love to eat my notebook with Percy the Parrot.... zzzz....

Chitter Chatters:  
Dove: You will HAVE to let us visit the precious angels soon! Or bring them all to work!  
Red: Yeah, that last one's not happening.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .....who's Percy?  
Razz: ...oh, there he is....  
Slim: ???  
Razz: ...zzZZzzz........

Chit Kit:  
Razz: Mmmrrp? *Sleepy look at Red.*  
Red: C’mon troublemaker.  
Razz: Mum...ma?  
Stretch: Look at the lil bug, he has you wrapped around him.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: ..... no, Jerry the lumberjack.... can’t have my Pop-tart....zzzZzZzzz......  
Slim: ..... SANS!  
Razz: WHA?!?!

Chitter Chatter:  
Red: Say one more word Stretch and I will knock your lights out. Let’s go home Razz.  
Razz: ... kk mama.... zzzz.....  
Dove: *Has the biggest platonic boner for Red right now.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: *Fell off the couch, has accepted the floor as his best friend.*  
Slim: ......Sans?  
Razz: …. uuuuuuugh....yeah...?

Chit Kit:  
(A hot dad/mum that's capable? Platonically Sign Dove up!)

Blue: *Has had no problems other than the runaway baby.* Red! Look, I got them sleeping!  
Red: That’s great Blue….. why is my furniture chewed up?  
Blue: I think Edge is teething!  
Red: ...... do skeletons teeth?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Sdghgftjn bro could you imagined if I drew them how actually child skulls look???? That would be the world worst nightmare fuel)

*****

Bookwyrm  
(Child skulls are the more terrifying skull.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID IT!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh good the poor baby, no wonder he had a hard time with friends even though monsters wouldn't have the same mental hang ups as humans to be weirded out.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(That’s why he wore the scarf all the time, to hide the rows of teeth. The human mouth is truly a mess of nature.)

Swapfell:  
Slim: Is.... is it okay if we talk? There are some things we need to... uh... talk about.  
Razz: *Not taking his face off the floor, slowly remembering everything and sinking further into the carpet in shame.*  
Razz: .... sure Pap.... what would you like to talk about?

Chitter Teethers:  
Blue: *Examining a sleeping Edge’s mouth.* I’ve never met skeletons so young before, but his teeth look smaller then the others, aside from Slim anyway.... wait Slim’s missing a tooth!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Slim: .... why didn't you tell me you were.... falling?  
Razz: *Wants the floor to swallow him thx.* We were just now getting closer, and I didn't want you to bond with me out of pity. You deserve better.

Chitter Kidders:  
Red: Most of em have sharp choppers too. Cept Burb and Comic there.  
Burb: *Is being used as a blanket by Edge and Slim, Comic at the top of the pile.*  
Blue: Well! Maybe we can get a dentist to check them.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Slim: B-but you’re dying! You didn’t think that was something I should know? S-should prepare for? *Needs to take a deep breath before he goes off any worse.* D-do you at least know how much time you have?  
Razz: Uhhhhhhhh...... *Already knowing Slim’s gonna be mad.* A few months? I don’t know, it depends on several factors.  
Slim: A few months????  
Razz: ..... Sorry Papyrus.... I was too much of a coward to say it sooner.

Chit Kids:  
Red: Dentist sounds like a good idea. I need to call CPS before anything else though.  
Blue: Do you have to?! They are mine!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Razz: Can you blame me for not wanting to tell you? ...... it’s not exactly something I want to admit.....  
Slim: ...

Chit kit:  
Red: We are not having illegal children.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Goes Doggo:  
Red: By the way, Dove and your brother stopped by the bar today.  
Blue: Really? How was Papy?  
Red: Still extremely gay.

*Meanwhile, (Since Chitter is still horny and needs an outlet), while Red is doing the boring CPS stuff, Dove and Stretch return to their multi-million dollar mansion. Dove bridal carries Stretch into the house while the maid/butler, Rus, opens the door to not impede their progress.*  
Stretch: Can we do some.... puppy play today?  
Dove: Of course my love. You are always such a dirty mongrel~

(Yes, I learned that was a thing yesterday.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell.  
Slim: Mmmmmm..... in light of recent events, the guys decided to make pamphlets.... for any new universes we might meet. I think you’ll get a kick out of them. *Hands Razz his phone that has the recently sent a digital file.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude the things sexual desiring people come up with. There's some WEIRD stuff out there)

Swapfell:  
Razz: ....... approach the Fell monsters like an alley cat. Body language is key? ......... Tale monsters first instinct is to hug, do not be alarmed. They are friendly and would not think to stab anyone in the back let alone the front? ...... mweheh.... oh god.  
Slim: It’s gold.  
Razz: Did they seriously say Comic was like a sleepy cat, just pet him and pun and you’re good?

Chit Chat:  
Red: *Taking his charges to the station to get looked over, Blue loves Red’s minivan.*

*Dove and Stretch have very kinky sex and the butler joins in some time later, actually being their role-playing third partner. Taking the naughty puppy to the timeout corner as the butler 'cleans up'.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Like, I guess it’s like playing house but with sexy desires? Hard to figure out.)

Swapfell:  
Slim: They even made a pamphlet for us.  
Razz: Oh god, I’ve gotta read that.... PFFT! On your section it literally says “Loves all types of food. Fastest way to this Fell monster’s heart is through his “stomach.” He will become your new best friend. Also likes puns and other forms of stupid humor.”  
Slim: They definitely aren’t wrong.

Chitter Kitters:  
Red: *Returning with children from the station.* Thank stars they didn’t take the kids into state care like they normally would in this instance.  
Blue: I know! And they let us take them back home with us with only a minimal background check! It’s almost like the plot demands that we keep these babies! IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(The 'butler' is totally fucking Dove. It’s like ... pretending to feed into a fantasy. Like I've heard people pretending to do all kinds of scenarios, like doctor appointments and yoga sessions that turn spicy.)

Swapfell:  
Razz: for me it’s... “Do not disrespect, he is a great warrior. Don’t fight unless fully prepared, and he is willing to take revenge. Don’t follow Stretch’s example.... DON'T. Likes to make burritos, is honorable and will try to do the right thing if he can.”  
Slim: Yeah, that’s about right.

Chit Kits:  
Blue: I GET TO KEEP MY BABIES! *Victory pose.*  
Edge: Eeeeee! *Mimics Blue.*  
Razz: *Is walking next to Red to get to the minivan.*  
Red: *Has arms full of lazy babies.* Yeah yeah.... who wants McDonald's on the way back?  
Razz: Waz dat?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: It’s.... surprisingly respectful...  
Slim: Did you expect different?  
Razz: After the whole “forcing you guys into a death game because I’m a vindictive ass,” I figured they’d use the chance to take some real jabs at me.  
Slim: .... Bro, the entire death game has put every single one of them on edge. They REFUSE to do a Stretch.  
Razz: So it has a name now, mweheh.... Huh..... there’s a little bit more about me on the next page.... “Also an amazing pastry chef, makes the best content on any bake sale table.... he WILL use Helen’s lemon bars against those he wants dead-“  
Slim: PFFFFT!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: holy shit they put Helen's number on there!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: .... “and owns several flamethrowers. Will use those too without hesitation.”

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Rus highly recommends your Saw rooms, very well done and wonderfully detailed.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: That’s... actually pretty kind of him..... maybe I’ll use less deadly force next time.... is it bad that I want to prank call Helen?  
Slim: YOU want to PRANK call her?!  
Razz: HER NUMBER IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: Didn’t you give it to Edge?  
Razz: No.... I did give him the PTA website... maybe he got it from there? What prank should we do?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: There are a lot of good options...  
Razz: Uhhhhh.... what about the refrigerator one?  
Slim: That’s way too well known. She’ll hang up before we reach the punchline.  
Razz: .... Ugandan Prince one?  
Slim: We could pretend we are a store getting back about her “Customer Complaint.”  
Razz: ..... dammit how did you get this brilliant?

Chitter Kidders:  
Red: Oh Buddy, I’ll even take ya to one of them with the indoor playground. You’re gonna love it.  
Razz: Playground?  
Red: ... Stars you poor deprived soul.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
*Razz is chosen to voice with his ‘Official Authority’ voice. Slim is just waiting for the gold.*

Chitter kids:  
*Razz is absolutely in love with the playground, but did get stuck on high spots and despairingly cried for momma to save him. Edge quickly set out to see every nook and cranny. Slim and Comic found nap spots, and Burb kept peeking out at Blue and Red at different spots.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *battle and violence is not an approved therapy method plz remember this is comedy


	24. Bonus Chapter: Alternative Torture Room Outcome, The Simpening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If things had gone slightly differently in the lemon bar torture room, in which Razz discovers Stretch’s “undergarments” and the dust starts to fly. He shouldn’t have done that stupid sex game challenge with Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 6 IS NEW. WE FORGOT A DAY!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Is it bad I can’t stop thinking about what Razz’s reaction would be if Red brought up those straps during the final torture room game??? Like I almost wish we could go back and see how that would play out XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz would have gotten a sniper out and took Stretch down in pure fury and rage. Like. No regret, that’s it fucker.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s all good lol. Yeah I can see that.)

*It’s dead quiet for a second upon discovering the straps under Stretch’s clothes, only for Razz to summon a blaster into the room and fry his ass like the 4th of July. Not even dust left.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I am FUCKING DONE WITH HIS SHIT. WHO ELSE WANTS TO SHOW OFF THEIR SEX SHIT???

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Red: .... *Slowly raises his hand just to get out of eating lemon bars.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: PROOF! I WON’T END YOUR MISERABLE EXISTENCE UNTIL I HAVE A REASON!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Red: ..... *Looks to his left, then right, deciding if anyone is going down with him it’s gonna be Comic. He stands up and makes his way over.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Red caresses Comic’s skull. Comic's eyelights go out. Red grabs him by the jacket zipper, unzipping with practiced ease.*  
Red: Normally, I’d ask for consent, but I’m in a hurry here. Now show me those silky smooth ribs of yours.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh..... I need an adult?  
Red: I AM an adult. *Leans in to be mere millimeters from his teeth.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Red: Imma show you how adult I am~  
Razz: *Fires a warning shot.*  
Red: YA FUCKING MISSED YOU BONE BROTH BITCH!  
Comic: *Is very not comfortable.* 

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: *Drowning Stretch’s dust with his sweat puddle.* H-Hey look! Blue is balling his eyes out from loosing Stretch! Maybe you should offer him a good time instead?!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Comic no thats not a healthy coping method.)

Red: Imma show you all the sweet spots in a nice rack of ribs.  
Comic: Dont???

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: *Grabs Red by the eye sockets with two fingers and drags him back to the chair.*  
Red: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!  
*Edge Slams him in place, eyeballs literally busting out of his skull in rage. Red now regrets forgetting his brother was there, then every other decision he’s made since.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: EAT THEM OR I WILL ADD THE REST OF THE BARS TO THE PILE!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Edge literally shoves ten bars into Red’s mouth all at once, while Comic is literally kissing the ground Edge walks on.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Causing Razz to fire at Comic, no bootlicking to be had on his watch.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: I’m not doing nothing!  
Razz: YOU LYING BETA MALE SOY BOY SIMP! GET BACK TO YOUR SPOT!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz made me choke on pepsi, holy shit)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Comic: HE SAVED MY INNOCENCE.  
Razz: WHAT WORTH IS TAINTED INNOCENCE? 

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Ya know what?! Ya need therapy!  
*Another warning shot.*  
Razz: THIS IS MY THERAPY!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Razz is taking no shits, Blue is crying, Red is regretting, the watchers are very concerned, and Edge is about to join Razz in this endeavor.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Meanwhile, Slim has retreated to his happy place in the deepest recesses of his mind. It’s full of his favorite foods, isolated from the general public and with lots of trees and cats. He gets to nap on cotton candy clouds there.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Slim is pretty much just not there rn. Denial is strong in this one.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Dove kicks the door in with Burb slung over his shoulder.*  
Dove: WE ARE HERE TO HELP EVERY....one? *Sees Edge about to shank a bitch, Red face down dying over a pyramid of lemon bars, Slim hugging his knees staring at nothing, Comic arguing with Razz, and Blue wailing over his brother’s dust.  
Dove: Hmmmmmm..... perhaps... we shall come back later.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Pffft Dove buddy. That door locked behind you. Good luck~)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Dove quickly turns around only to ram face first into the locked door. He starts frantically jiggling the handle, eventually dropping Burb to use both hands.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Burb: He did say we had a chance to leave....one chance.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Dove currently has both heels on the wall pulling the doorknob.*  
Dove: NEVER FEAR SANS! WE WILL GET OUT OF HERE!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*Dove summons a blaster, one more delicate and avian than the common Blaster. Burb braces for detonation.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*BOOOM! Concrete around the door holds firm, but the door flies off the hinges.*  
Everyone: ........  
Razz: .......

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: ..... I'm not getting my security deposit back.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: ..... I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!!!!!!  
Red: Yeah...... why DIDN’T YOU THINK OF THAT?!  
Edge: I SAID FINISH THE DAMN PLATE!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
*They are all in regret as Blue is just sobbing. The watchers can't believe the monitors.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: ..... so this just became very awkward.... I wasn’t expecting this many survivors.  
Blue: MY BROTHER IS DEAD! YOU MURDERED HIM!!!!!  
Razz: ..... yeah, I still have no regrets for that kill.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I only have 4 slices of survival cake. This is awkward.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Edge: ...... FIND THE ASSHOLE AND LET'S BURN HIM!!!!  
Razz: Oh shit!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: MWAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN TRY! BUT! I HAVE THE ADVANTAGE, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT I'M NOT EVEN NEAR YOU. IM AT THE END OF THE SUMMONING RANG FOR BLASTERS AND WHO SAID I STAYED IN THE SAME SPOT? I HOPE YOU LIKE TO TRY AND PULL YOURSELVES OUT OF MY TRAPS! THIS ISN'T EVEN THE END OF THEM! *Maybe bluffing a bit.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Razz you commited a cardinal sin and made Blue cry. You aren’t getting out of this. At least Blue has a replacement bro lined up)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: ....... oh God now I know why everyone was so scared of my bro’s rage.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Apparently WE weren’t scared enough.  
*The Fells ignore them and rush through the building.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: I should have believed the stories and realized just how much he cared for me really. Oh god. He must have done a lot to have people fear him as a single caretaker of me. Now I know how he kept us safe by himself.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: THAT’S RIGHT YOU TRAITOR! I DON’T KNOW WHY I SPENT SO MUCH TIME PROTECTING A BACK STABBER LIKE YOU!!!  
Edge: I HEAR HIM SOMEWHERE ON THE THIRD FLOOR!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I HAVE A SHIT LOAD OF SPEAKERS IDIOT.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: *Secret panic because he actually is on the third floor.*  
*Slim moves over to comfort Blue.*  
Slim: It looks like we will both be needing new brothers soon...  
Comic: Slim! Not the time!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: I miss him already! I won't be able to look at a sock again!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Comic: Every time I see a honey bottle I will remember the idiot. Rest in Pieces Stretch.


	25. Phone Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz and Slim bond over prank call, skeletons tease the crap out of each other. The chat makes a return! Battle plans. Toriels can appreciate a good bone.  
> Ideas are thrown around.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE AT END OF CHAPTER.

HomeHawk12  
(Little Burb is poking his head out like a baby owl it’s too cute XP)

Swapfell:  
*Razz uses the fake name Slim came up with. Phone rings, Helen picks up.*  
Helen: Hello?  
Razz: Yes, this is... Phil McCrackin, Vice President of-  
Helen: IT’S ABOUT TIME I HEARD BACK FROM YOU PEOPLE!!!  
Razz: *Blinks*..... I’m sorry?  
Helen: I PUT THAT COMPLAINT IN MONTHS AGO ABOUT YOUR EBOTT LOCATION!! I DEMAND COMPENSATION FOR YOU MAKING ME WAIT SO LONG!!!!  
*Razz looks to Slim, his brother shrugging in his own confusion. Razz needs to improvise.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Sorry ma'am, our last customer service rep decided to almost irreparably mess with our systems and we had to work through the technical problems before reaching you.  
Helen: At LEAST you're doing something now!  
Razz: We have only recovered names and contacts for our complaints and not the details, so we've had to contact each one individually, may I ask what the issue was?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Helen: I went to your Ebbott City location and your employees were extremely rude! That lazy man kept saying he didn’t work there! I asked a manager to fire him for being so lazy and rude, but she was lying to me and saying the man didn’t work there either!!! Then I demanded that they comp the payment for my new cell phone but they laughed me out of the store.  
Razz: I..... see. *Slim is struggling to keep his giggling contained.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Was this before or after the licensing of the store? We are only responsible if the store was licensed.  
Slim: .....*Holding in laughter.*  
Helen: But I already gave you all the information before!  
Razz: Sorry ma'am, but our servers were wiped, only names and contacts were salvaged. I need to know everything all over again.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Helen: UGGGGGGHH! It was your AT&T store on BAKER STREET! I don’t know anything about the store licensing!  
Razz: I will need to look up the store location and check. *Holds the phone out and taps his fingers on the coffee table to emulate typing. Slim has fallen back on the sofa clutching his ribcage. The very talkative Lord Hater is getting curious.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
LH: MEOW! "Give me attention Food Providers and Petting Administrators."  
Helen: Is that a cat?  
Razz: A part of our company's new animal program. The shelters send animals to be socialized and interacted with, and the animals help lower stress in the office.  
Helen: .....how progressive.  
Razz: Was this the first location or the second one on Baker Street?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Helen: I don’t know!!! The one next to Walmart?  
Razz: Hmmmm.... I see, I see. Unfortunately, it would seem that location was not licensed at the time.  
Helen: WHAT?! HOW COULD YOU OPEN A LOCATION WITHOUT LICENSING?! WHO’S IN CHARGE LET ME SPEAK TO THEM!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: My manager? Or the one on location? We can open stores on a trial period to test the franchisee's skill before giving the license out, company policy.  
Helen: ANY MANAGER!  
Razz: Okay I’ll get them. *Holds the phone to LH, grabbing a bag of cat treats to tempt the kitty.*  
LH: MEEEOW! MEOW! MOEW! MEOW! BRRREOW!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: *Takes the phone back when Helen starts yelling.* Sorry ma’am, but if you recall from the start of our conversation, I am the Vice President of Sales. The only person above me is the President-  
Helen: PUT THEM ON THEN!  
Razz: One moment please.  
*Hands the phone over to Slim as he tries getting his giggles under control. He takes Lord Hater to quiet her while Slim speaks.*  
Slim: H-hello, this is Pat McCrotch, President of-  
Helen: I DEMAND COMPENSATION!

Chitter Adventures:  
*Everyone except for Burb eventually comes out from the playground to head to Red’s convenient mom van (They need to stop across the street to buy car seats). Burb is perched and happy with his spot.*  
Red: Alright kid, time to come down.  
Burb: Heheheheheh.... nu!  
Red: Don’t make me climb up there and get ya!  
Burb: Hehehehe! *Giggling like crazy, wings erect from his laughter.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Slim: For what exactly? The vice president didn't have time to enter it into the system.

Chitter Kidders:  
Burb: *Does a lil peep noise when he sees Red climbing up to get him. At least Eed is still short enough to have only a lil bit of trouble.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Helen: You are telling me I spent thirty minutes on the phone with this Phil McCrack or whatever, and he didn’t record anything?!?!  
Razz: *Whispers.* It was only seven minutes.... wait... Phil McCrack- Fill My Crack!?!?!  
Slim: *Holding the phone far away from his face while Helen continues screeching, unable to contain his laughter anymore.*

Chitters and Kids:  
Burb: Hehehehehe! *Currently at the back of the plastic box just out or Red’s reach.*  
Red: Come on ya little shit!  
Burb: SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! HEHEHEHE!  
Blue: Tell him if he comes along and behaves then we can rent a Disney movie!  
Burb: Wha Disney?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Razz: YOU HAD ME PUN?!?  
Slim: Nyeheheheh, Sans. hearing her say it is better, Thank Undyne for untraceable phones!

Chitter is Thirsty for Sweetness:  
Blue: Here, we can see what movie you want from my phone. I think you’d like Lion King or Mulan for everyone.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Helen: HELPO?! WHY DO I HEAR LAUGHTER?!?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!?!  
Slim: S-sorry ma’am, please continue.

Chitter Chat:  
Red: Mulan! I’m not dealing with a “Bambi’s Mom” moment!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god, helpo got me)

Swapfell:  
Helen: This is an awful service line! Where do I put in a complaint for this?  
Slim: ..... you want to put in a complaint for customer complaint service? Ma'am this is the line to do that.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Helen: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!! IF I DON’T GET SOME RESPECT I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!!!! YOU WILL BE LOSING A VALUED CUSTOMER!!!  
Razz: Honestly, we might be doing that company a service.  
Slim: PFFFT!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: What are you valued at? And can we get a price match or trade in discount?

(I have a meeting in half an hour won't be able to text)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s all good)

Helen: I HAVE BEEN A CUSTOMER FOR FIVE YEARS!!!!  
Razz: Ohhhh, five years with a single phone company. She deserves a medal for that one.  
Slim: Ohhhhhh, sorry ma’am, you aren’t considered a ‘valued customer’ until five and a half years of being a customer.  
Helen: *Unholy screeching.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(So I had to sit outside for the meeting for a better connection and the stray cat came and bit my arm for attention during it)

Swapfell:  
Helen: I GUESS I'LL GO TO VERIZON NOW!  
Slim: Oof, I wouldn't do that. they have terrible coverage around here.  
Helen: I WILL DO WHAT I WANT!

CHITTER KIDDERS:  
Razz: Waz a Bambi?  
Red: A sad ass movie. It draws you in with the cute and stabs you with feelings.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(KITTEN!!! That’s adorable XD you made an unintentional cat friend today dndjfkf)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Nah, his ass gets fed every day here)  
(His name is Stinky)  
(He has a girlfriend named Tootsie)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Stinky! That name is hilarious. I love it! Tootsie is equally adorable. My compliments to whoever named them fndjdjdjl)

Helen: I AM LEAVING THE WORST POSSIBLE REVIEW ON YELP!!! I’LL TELL EVERYONE I KNOW HOW TERRIBLE YOUR COMPANY IS!!!!!  
Slim: Goos luck with that one.  
Helen: YOU INSUFFERABLE BASTARD!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(My little brother did Stinky and my mom did Tootsie, tho I think her name should be Squeaky as she never shuts up)

Slim: That’s my wife's name. Don't wear it out.  
Razz: *Tiny giggles.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(XD Kitties are just too precious. Oh! Was Stinky the grey tabby you sent me a pic of?)

Helen: I WANT YOUR NAME! HOW DO YOU SPELL IT!!!!  
Slim: Pat McCrotch ma’am, spelled exactly how it sounds.  
Helen: ....McCrotch.... She is writing it down on her end. AND WHO WAS THE OTHER ONE I SPOKE WITH?!?!  
*Slim hands off the phone.*  
Razz: Phil McCrack miss, spelled with a “PH.” Very important.  
Helen: WE WILL SEE HOW SMUG YOU ARE WHEN I STORM CORPORATE TOMORROW MR. McCRACK AND McCROTCH!!!!! YOUR DAYS OF EMPLOYMENT ARE NUMBERED!!!!!

Chitter Catter:  
Red: See, the Aristocats was a far better choice then Mulan.  
*All Nekos are glued to the screen.*  
Blue: I must say, it was an excellent choice.  
Edge: *Singing along.* Everbuddy Wanna bee a CAT!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Yep! I saw him wander up to me, went to pet as he is owned, and he jumped up my arm to bite and scratch, playful but hurts delicate human skin.)

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Ends the call* .....OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY! MWEHEHEHE! PFFT! MWEEEHHEHEE!  
Slim: *Laughing so much it's silent.*

Chit Chat:  
Burb: ...... I WANNA BE A CAT! WHY AM I NOT A CAT!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Razz: M-my sides.... MWEHEHEEEEE!!!! I can’t breath!  
Slim: *Wheeze.* We don’t n-need ta though!  
....  
*Both break out into even harder laughter.*

Lazy Chat:  
-SharkBite: Slim? I’m afraid ta ask if you’re alive or not.  
-Snas: A heads up if we should go into hiding on those pamphlets would be nice too.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Nah, he liked them. I think he's mainly ok now that he knows the who, what, and why.  
-Snas: Not gonna lie, he gets scary.  
-Sharkbite: Ya had to be in a Fellverse, ‘specially if ya were a captain.  
-Instretchable: Eh. I think he's more bark.  
-Sharkbite: You’re an idiot.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: I think you mean horny. Apparently the honey torture wasn’t enough to get him off.  
-SharkBite: BWAHAHAHAH!!  
Instretchable: You promised to stop teasing about that!  
-SlimJim: I’ll only tease as long as you continue being stupid. My bro needs things as low stress as possible, and you consistently make him mad.  
-Snas: Dang Stretch, you aren’t “getting off” from this one.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-Sharkbite: Stretch would be the one to annoy someone to death. I'm surprised he hasn't maimed you yet.  
-Snas: is that something Fells do?  
-Sharkbite: If you were strong enough to have a collared you had to be.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
-SlimJim: Pretty sure my bro already did maim him.  
-SharkBite: ?  
-SlimJim: When was the last time you saw Stretch with a bottle of honey?  
-Instretchable: DON’T BRING THAT UP!!!!  
-SharkBite: Dear God it hasn’t been since the death game. Hold on I gotta try something.  
-Instretchable: Red?! What are you planning?!?!

Underswap House:  
*Red saunters into Stretch’s room with a great big bottle of yellow, sticky sweet honey.*  
Red: Hey Pal, if I remember right, our deal involved me buying ya a shit ton of honey~  
Stretch: *Face starts turning green.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Stretch: Too....too soon Red. Too soon.  
Red: *Smirls.* Heh. Ya know, you should really learn to stop messing with Razz, buddy. He would end you before ever allowing you to 'win'.

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: .... Razz really does know his torture huh.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
*Edge, Blue and Bubo are sitting on the sofa chatting. All the other birds went home to either prepare for the tournament, or make out in Ace’s and Chitter’s case.*  
Stretch: Get that stuff away from me Red! I don’t even wanna smell it.  
Red: Just a spoonful would do, come one Buddy-  
*Stretch leaps over the banister and runs right by everyone else and out the back door, Red cackling at the top of the steps.*  
Edge: What the hell did you do?!

Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Yep, he spent years mastering it. It was a big part of his job.  
-Snas: I guess so.... dang.

Chit Kit:  
Red: You're already part cat kid, what else do you want?  
Edge: MELK PWEASE!!!  
Slim: MELK MELK!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underswap:  
Red: *All lazy predator on the banister.* Just trying to give him my end of the deal. I owe him a bottle of honey.  
Blue: RED! You know Papy isn't allowed honey for 3 more months!  
Edge: I don't think that’s going to be a problem, Blue.

Lazy chat:  
-Snas: That’s kinda scary impressive.  
-SlimJim: Yep. He's the coolest!

Chit Chat:  
Burb: But I have wings! And feathers! And only claw toes!  
Red: Talons, those are talons.  
Burb: I wanna be a CAT!  
Razz: MELK!  
Slim: MELK!  
Edge: MEEEEEEELK!  
Comic: Daddy? Please?  
Blue: ..... too much milk will make your tummies hurt- *See’s the pleading eyelights*....... Red?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Blue: I.... don’t think I follow.  
Edge: Have you ever heard the story of the boy who was only allowed to eat chocolate because his parents wanted to break his obsession with it, and only after a few days the boy had an absolute aversion to chocolate for the rest of his life? That’s what Razz did to your brother in a 20 minute period.  
Blue: ....... but he loves honey.  
Red: Not anymore!

Chitter Kids:  
Red: Have ya checked the top of your head, Burb? Ya got cat ears. You’re a flying cat.  
*Burb feels the top of his head, finding the ears and jumping a bit.*  
Burb: WOW!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Blue: .... wow, I hope Razz never gets into the addiction breaking business. He would get so many lawsuits.  
Red: Effective tho.  
Edge: Very.

Chitter Kits:  
Burb: IMMMA CAT!  
Red: Yep, ya funny lil kid.  
Burb: RAAAAZZZ! IMMA CAT!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Slim: I almost forgot to ask. The alternates want to put on a fighting tournament and we’re invited. It’s brother teams vs brother teams. Are you interested?  
Razz: Sure, I’d love to kick some more ass.  
Slim: Bitchin’.

Chitter Chatter:  
Comic: You a flyin cat!  
Burb: *Hops in a circle flapping his wings.* Imma flyin cat! Imma flyin cat!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: I would never just leave you to battle on your own Papyrus.  
Slim: .... I know Sans.

Chit Chat:  
*Red is not liking the chant that has kicked up.*  
Red: You were a cat the whole time!  
Burb: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Just asked my bro about the tournament idea. He seems excited.  
-SharkBite: Bitchin!  
-Snas: Not that big of a surprise, other than the fact he’s cool fighting on a team.  
-SlimJim: We fight surprisingly well together. You guys better be prepared.  
-SharkBite: We’ll have to track Stretch down before the games start. Pretty sure he’s in the next county by now.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Chatter:  
Red: You act like you’ve never seen yourself in a mirror before.  
Comic: What’s a mirror?  
Burb: Waz’s that?  
Red: ..... Blue, get the camera ready. This is gonna be adorable.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: My bro is ready to throw down half the time if he isn't tired from work.  
-Sharkbite: Yeah, he can be a fiesty one.  
-Snas: Too much energy tbh

Chit Chat:  
*Razz and Edge immediately attack the mirror all poofed up. Burb is just posturing. Comic is pawing at his reflection and Slim is not having anything to do with it.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: Not gonna lie though, Edge isn’t much better.  
-SharkBite: Heh, pretty sure my bro has more piss and vinegar then Razz on a regular day. The guy is always practicing guitar after work or jogging. Still not sure where he gets it from.  
-Instretchable: My bro used to do that a lot more when I was a teen. I don’t know if it’s an age thing but he isn’t the same energy level as Edge or Rus anymore.  
-SharkBite: So you haven’t left the chat after all! Ready for the honey yet?  
-Instretchable: Please stop…

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: Maybe it's a big bro vs lil bro thing? Aren't older siblings usually the more responsible ones?  
-Snas: Have you met me?  
-Sharkbite: C’mon Stretch, you gotta try it sometime, you have to stay true to your condiments.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: I mean, you kept Rus alive and fed, right?  
-Snas: The bare minimum of responsibility, yes.  
-SlimJim: Fair point.  
-Instretchable: Red I will leave this chat again if you keep that up.  
-SharkBite: Awwwww, you’re no fun.

Chitter Chat:  
*Edge and Razz take turns double teaming the mirror. Razz hops towards the mirror and swipes at it, rushing behind Edge so he can do the same.*  
Red: *Slim is hiding in his jacket because the mirror is scary.* Come on kid. It’s just your reflection. It’s not gonna hurt ya.  
Slim: Nuuuuuu! It’s scary!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Stretch just teases and gets teased omg)

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: I mean, Red is the one who got the short straw, I can just see the crap a little hellion Edge got into.  
-Sharkbite: ..... you’re not wrong, but not exactly right, I had to keep him from helping every single monster out there. They'd of killed him.  
-Snas: Yep. Kinda figured.

Chit Chat:  
*Slim refuses to get out of the jacket. At all. Even falls asleep in there.*  
*Razz accidentally smacks the mirror too hard and it falls, scaring the shit out of him. Two kitties in the jacket now. The mirror is fine.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Instretchable: Oh god...Edgelord was a goodie two-shoes as a baby?!  
-SharkBite: Yep. Gaster wanted to keep him stupid to be a better weapon, but even after we escaped the Lab he just wanted to give everyone a hug.  
-SlimJim: You’re not gonna be stupid enough to tease Edge about this, right?

Chitter Chits:  
*Edge is the only one willing to approach the fallen mirror after almost a minute of standing in still shock. He inches forward, tapping it with one hand then leaping back. It didn’t get up or attack.*  
Edge: I-it’s dead.... I killed it!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-Instretchable: Wait, is this another life or death thing?  
-Sharkbite: Ye, in the Underground it was mocking and an insult to be called that, like insta fight material.  
-Instretchable: ....damn.

Chit Chat:  
*Edge is so proud of himself. Blue does a little clap for him. Red is already walking to start dinner with the two scaredy cats in his jacket.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Instretchable: Ya know what, it’s a lovely day to spend with Alphys and Undyne. I think I’ll go there or something.  
-SharkBite: That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say!

Chit Chat:  
Slim: What’s that?  
Red: Green beans.  
Razz: EWWW!  
Red: Have you ever had them?  
Razz: No.  
Red: Then try it first, then complain.  
Razz: NU!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: So when’ the first tournament?  
-Slimjim: Razz has next Saturday off. How about then?

Chit Chat:  
*Red is having a hard time getting the boys to eat the green beans, mac and cheese was easy. The bean? Stalemate.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: .... Just asked the others. Everyone is gun hoe about it. Looks like it’s a date.  
-SharkBite: Bitchin.  
-SlimJim: Razz seems excited about it.

Chit Chatter:  
Blue: WAIT! I have an idea. *Takes the plates away and mixes the beans in with the mac and cheese until they were completely blended together and impossible to distinguish.* Try this!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lil Bro Chat:  
Pup-yrus: Everyone good for next Saturday for the fight?

Chit chat:  
*No baby is convinced. At all.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lil Bro Chat:  
-Spagetti Dude: ABSOLUTELY!  
-Edgelord: That should be acceptable.  
-Ashtray: Yep.  
-TrapSnap: THIS WILL BE SO MUCH FUN! AXE AND I ARE VERY EXCITED!  
-LoveDove: We are setting up the battle arena already!

Older Bro Chat:  
-BlueBerry: So I’ve been thinking, perhaps it is time we add Razz to the older brother chat?

Chit Chat:  
Blue: But if you don’t eat your beans, then nobody can have milk!  
Edge: NYEH?!?!! *Absolute devastation.*  
Slim: WANT MELK WANT MELK!  
Razz: HISSSS!! *Looks directly at his plate and spits at it.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god what was Sans and Red for the big bros???)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I think Red was Sharknado and Comic was SansyPansy)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Chit Chat:  
Red: You gotta eat it or you won't get anything else till then. If you eat it, you get bed time milk.

Big Bro Chat:  
-SansyPansy: is he still keeping his number secret?  
-Sharknado: let's get slim to give it to us.

Lil Bro Chat:  
-LoveDove: We have a few set up! We used that spot Edge destroyed as it was already cleared from trees.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Lil Bro:  
-Edgelord:..... right, that.  
-Ashtray: What’s wrong? It looks like your guilty about something.  
-Edgelord: SHUT UP!

Lazy Chat:  
-SlimJim: ..... okay so I asked my bro about giving his number away and he said “whatever.” I never thought I would see the day guys you have no idea.

Chitter Kidders:  
*Edge, being the one most obsessed with that white liquid gold, forces the green beans into his mouth, swallowing only to blink in surprise. The others are covering their faces expecting him to melt or something.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Just made myself a double hot chocolate mmmmm. Used TWO pouches. A true rebel)

Lil Bro:  
-Edgelord: To be fair I thought Ace was a threat!  
-Ashtray: Pretty sure you enjoyed yourself.

Lazy Chat:  
-Snas: I never thought he'd say that.  
-SlimJim: Is it ok or not??? Like is that to everyone or just people he really got along with???  
-Sharkbite: Everyone. EVERYONE.  
-SlimJim: Ok I guess.

Big Bro Chat:  
*RazzleDazzle has been added to the chat.*  
RazzleDazzle: I knew this was a bad idea.

Chit Kits:  
Edge: .........*Takes another bite.*  
Razz: ....mrr?  
Edge: I like it. I dun wanna, but I like it.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Pfffft. I was gonna nickname him Jigsaw but this works too XP)

Big Bro:  
-RazzleDazzle: So can I change my nickname or not?  
-Sharknado: Nope. It’s permanently set now.  
-SansyPansy: Welcome to the Sans chat! Otherwise known as the big bro line.  
-RazzleDazzle: .... I don’t know why I agreed to this.  
*Hatchet has been added to the chat*  
-Hatchet: Is this the older bro chat? Blue gave me his old phone and said I need to participate.  
RazzleDazzle: Wait, is that Axe? Why did he get a cool nickname?!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz can be Jigsaw in the Graveyard Chat. With all the skeletons)

Big Bro Chat:  
-Hatchet: My axe is not a hatchet. But I get the sentiment  
-RazzleDazzle: but seriously, RazzleDazzle?  
BlueBerry: I think it's a nice name.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Big Bros:  
-RazzDazzle: So the name was YOUR doing!  
-Sharknado: Gotta be more specific than that pal. Hard to keep track when you aren’t specific with names.  
-RazzleDazzle: That’s it, how do I leave this dumb thing?!  
-SanseyPansey: Can’t leave once you join. It’s against app policy.  
RazzleDazzle: Damn...

Lil Bros:  
-Pup-yrus: Guys my bro agreed to join the Sans chat I can’t right now. I’m reading over his shoulder and they called him RazzleDazzle and said he can’t change it. I’m dying here.

Chitter Kidders:  
*Thanks to Edge’s first move, the Lazies gradually start picking at their food. Razz crosses his arms and huffs.*  
Blue: Come on Razz. Don’t make the choo-choo come into the station.  
Razz: What’s a cho-cho?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Cat Chat:  
*Blue takes some food onto a spoon and starts moving it around in the air, Razz completely mesmerised by the movements.*  
Blue: Choo! Choo! Oh no! The train needs to stop at the station, but the station is closed! Quick Razz, open up the station so the train can deliver its goods!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Sorry had things to do that left me out of wifi range)

Lil Bros:  
-SpagettiDude: that's rather mean of my brother.  
-Edgelord: That’s what I'd expect from mine.  
-Pup-yrus: They are lucky Razz only fact checks serious things.

Big Bro Chat:  
-RazzleDazzle: Is this something you do a lot? Just text each other odd things throughout the day?  
-BlueBerry: It’s useful to stay in touch with each other! And the others usually keep the puns to a minimum!

Chit Chat:  
Razz: Waz a station-UUMPH!  
Blue: *Slipped the spoon in while he was talking, Razz not knowing to dismiss his magic to not eat.* There we go!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Lol, I was about to say that hot chocolate must be really good to disappear like that fjdnfkdl)

Big Bros:  
-SansyPansy: If we don’t Blue will literally go radio silent for a few weeks.  
-Sharknado: It was funny the first time, but apparently he just gets really grouchy at home and Stretch won’t stop complaining.

Lil Bro:  
-Pup-yrus: They are talking about too many puns in the chat making Blue grouchy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grouchy Blue.  
-Edgelord: Blue is capable of being “grouchy”?  
-Ashtray: I literally spend most of my time out of the house when he gets that way...

Chit Chat:  
Edge: ...... whaz you think?  
Razz: *Purple in the face and pouting* ...... it’z okay.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(WiFi troubles, neighbor cut under underground wire. Sent at 11pm, don't know if I can get on long enough to answer)  
(Hey! I think my wifi is back!)

Bug Bro:  
-Hatchet: Makes sense, Angel Cakes is usually so sweet.  
-BlueBerry: I still don't know why you call me that, Razz is the only one that has baked anything.  
-RazzleDazzle: That was for a bakesale and torture purposes.

Lit Bro:  
-SpaghettiDude: That is understandable. I too dislike too many puns.  
-Ashtray: It’s okay when I do it to my bro, but it's annoying to have Blue irritated by other people's puns before I even get there, I can't see it.

Chit Chat:  
Razz: Cookie?  
Blue: Finish your food, then milk and cookies.  
Razz: *The most serious off-to-war face* .....fine.

(Neighbor cut our cable so we have spotty connection. This is why you call before digging anything.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oof, that sucks. But it sounds like you are almost in business again!!!)  
(Scfdhhkngf “bug bro” and “lit bro” XP)

*Stretch experiences a flashback to grouchy Blue.*

Flashback:  
*Enters the house after working as a grocery cashier.*  
Stretch: Hey bro. How’s it hanging? ..... bro?  
*Stretch leans in to get a good look at Blue’s face finally feeling the annoyed energy.*

(He’s an angry boy)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Flashback:  
Blue: ..... Comic and Red can shove it for a while.  
Stretch: … Huh?  
Blue: PAPY, THERE WERE BONES PUNS. TOO MANY OF THEM!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Flashback:  
Stretch: Well, we know how ‘humerus’ they can both be, nyeheh-heh.... bro?  
Blue: *Head creaks back to stare at him, sockets void and twitching.* Papy. Leave..... right now.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Flashback:  
Stretch: ...... o-okay Sans.

Back to the Present:  
Lazy Chat:  
-Instretchable: And that’s why I don't push my bro too much.  
-SlimJim: ..... take that and add it to Razz.  
Instretchable: Fuck.  
  


******AU DISCUSSION TANGENT******

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude you know what au would be cool to add? Dancetale. If we ever need to add another. Or LustTale that's not a stereotype)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(All I know about Lustale is that it's banned from Amino. Bittybones could also be funny, with lots of mayhem, though dance lessons would be cute too)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(So Lusttale art is very R rated, but the culture and story can be touching. Basically the monsters can't have kids, their reproduction cycles are messed up from being underground, children are precious and extremely rare, and I believe Asriel died at birth or something.)

(Dancetale has it where the monster cast magic by dancing, and each monster has their own style, I think papyrus is salsa dancing and sans is hip-hop/breakdance. They dance-fight instead of actual fights. The royals are ballroom dancers. I think Frisk is ballet and Chara is also modern/hip-hop and they switch during the runs)

(Bitties are my damn JAM THO. there's this adult humor fic called AVA and damn I love it. The bitty in there is 10/10 GREAT)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Pfffft, idk why but all I can see Sans doing is a dance like this)

[Click here for white boy dancing.](https://tenor.com/6GPF.gif)

(Like hip hop dance takes soooo much energy snd he’s so lazy ghhgdz)

(I'd be down for adding Bitties at some point! When I tried Bitty bones I went for “Alphys cloning machine left unattended with skeletons'' route since the original method was too depressing for me)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Yep, in universe he is very shy of his style. It’s like... how his laziness is everything until he flips a damn switch and attacks all out and is a damn beast.)

(Might be interesting to see how bitties in an original method would react to meeting the monster they are based on. Like a sansy explaining what happened to Comic or Rus)

(And yes, Dancetale Papyrus has a rose in his teeth)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I’d be willing to try that with the Bittybones, just know I’m likely to forget some rules about them. I think they need souls or something to mooch on?)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(They can use bitty cuddle piles or humans/monster souls. They just can't make it entirely alone, just sitting near a human/monster soul can charge the lil guys up enough to survive for a while)  
(We can also just say that how our Bitties work. I know there are a few fics out there that have bitties that are a foot tall instead of super tiny.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Whichever size they can cause the most mischief in will work for me lol. at a foot tall hopefully they’d be less likely for the cats to attack)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(But tiny skelies riding the furry beast)  
(Dont matter to me!)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay yes that is tempting.... we could go for 8 inches for the tallest ones? Sanses would be closer to 6 inches then lol)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Sounds good, also hard to entirely miss someone 6 in)

******BACK TO THE STORY******

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Bird World:  
*Razz finds himself taking a look at the tournament grounds.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz: Ahhhh.... this brings back memories....  
Slim: Good or bad?  
Razz: Crushing my foes that dared defy me into powder! How I proved my superiority over Alphys and her fishbitch girlfriend! The sweet satisfaction of victory!!!  
Slim: …. g-good to hear.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: How are the stands being built?  
Slim: I think Dove is working on them.  
Razz: .... I hope he is better than Rus at building normal buildings. We should make sure there are wingless friendly bleachers.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Maybe we can call up some monsters from Blue and Comic’s worlds? I’m sure their Alphys and Undyne would be eager to help out.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Hmmm.... we may have to make the machines more available to other trusted monsters...  
Slim: That could be fun.  
Razz: How would a Royal meeting end up? Aggressive tea making? Parent tip competitions?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Slim: Hmmmm.... I feel like the Toriel’s would talk over tea about which one’s human child is better, getting increasingly passive aggressive, while the Asgores sit there very uncomfortable, maybe sneaking off to talk gardening.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Razz: Gardening competitions. Who has the best peonies or begonias. The tastiest apples. Would Comic’s and Red’s Toriels join the tea time or garden club?  
Slim: I don't know. Maybe that's something to find out.  
Razz: Multiverse PTA.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Lord help us...)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Which Toriel would be a Karen?)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Deltarunes)

(Out of our current Universes though, I think Underswap. I just picture their Toriel, as the one who stayed to rule, being a lot more headstrong then Classic Toriel, and far less likely to admit when she messes up. She’s that type that would rather blame someone else for an issue, or would be steadfast in sayin she's right even after finding out she wasn’t. Deltarunes Toriel, when playing around the town, it becomes clear that she is already a ultra religious type that gets way too angry over small things, and I still have NO CLUE why she hates her Asgore so much. Like originally with him declaring war there was an excuse, but their son is alive and they never were trapped underground. It still confuses me)

(Maybe Swapfell Toriel too, but she’s on the side of taking care of Razzy boy and his bro so I hate thinking of her that way. A Karen on the side of good hfyfhj)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Actually, I never finished watching a playthrough of Deltarune. I keep starting it and things just. Never finish it because I get busy.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Understandable. wait, you never got to see Sanses return?)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Like I'd get so far, then something would pop up and I'd be a month til I got back to it and have forgotten most of the story so I'd start again, theeeeeen something else.... yeah I want to restart it before the holidays tho. I do wanna see Sansy!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(SF Toriel, A Karen for quality, not status. And SF Tori just looking at US Tori like "bitch, who do you think you are? Like get over yourself")

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And Totally. Sf Toriel has seen too much shit and suffering. The minor complaints of the Tale plebs are nothing gcfdfhj)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Sf Tori would be like "did you have to literally keep mass gang violence at bay? With only a few trustworthy guards? Honey I know you had it rough keeping sugar from being over used or something. Those social visits must have been so hard")

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(To the other Tale Toriels, SF Toriel would seem like such a bitch, but she doesn’t let Linda walk over her and gets stuff done djfjffkf)  
(Then they would talk about Delta Tori and Underswap Tori behind their backs. God when did they get so catty fkfnfk)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Razz:.... that can be a project for another time. We should make sure our first tournament goes over well, before dragging too many others into this multiverse nonsense.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: I didn't realize how may of this universes monsters would like to see tournaments-  
...... what?  
There is a small protest from some random monsters, with signs of 'wingless rights'.  
Razz: ...I swear if thats a protest on this tournament I might actually scream.  
Dove: *flutters and lands near the swapfells* Ah friends! .... yes... when I put up flyer for the tournament... some monsters weren't too thrilled... BUT! that won't stop the GREAT DOVE!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Razz: Hmmmmm..... didn’t Edge make platforms or something to stop Ace from fighting properly?  
Dove: H-yes! That’s what Bubo said anyway.  
Razz: ... Slim, have you tried blaster surfing? It might be fun to give these protestors a demonstration.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Bird World:  
Slim: M-maybe we should just talk to the protesters first? Before we do anything else? Smiles nervously.  
Razz: .... fine.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(They would all be judging each other hard core for policies and regulations.

PTA Toris:  
SF Tori: "Oh. You let C grade crops be made into food products and not just oils or other products? I guess we just have different safety standards)

Bird World:  
*The trio walk to the protesters. Razz still has an attitude.*  
Razz: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEMS? CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE HAVING A TOURNAMENT GROUNDS BUILT?  
Slim: ........Sans, maybe you should have used your guard face here......

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(They totally would though, meanwhile Classic Tori just wants everyone to get along over pie.

PTA Toris:  
US Toriel: “Oh? You were suffering from supposedly worse food shortages then us, then you wasted consumables on non essential products? I see your proprieties were aimed elsewhere)

Bird World:  
Rabbit Protestor: Look! It’s some of those wingless monsters.  
Bear Protestor: poor things are stuck on the ground. Don’t worry, we won’t let you be taken advantage of!  
Razz: *Socket twitching, working on the best Guard face he can but is already triggered.* I... beg your pardon????  
Slim: Oh he shouldn’t have said that... *Covers his face not wanting to look.*  
*****  
Bookwyrm  
(PTA Toris:  
Sf Tori: Yes, I was keeping them from illness and having the necessary products for medicines and salves created. It's too bad your people had to deal with such poor quality control and little other necessities.  
UT Tori: Ladies, can we please eat the pie?)

Bird World:  
Razz: LISTEN UP YOU CHICKEN FUCKS!  
Dove: *Cringes.* Um, Razz, that’s  
Slim: Just let it happen. He is ......... dedicated.  
Razz: I WOULD FIGHT ANY AND ALL OF YOU WHO THINK I AM CRIPPLED! WHERE I'M FROM, NO ONE HAS WINGS! SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR DAMN PITY HOME WITH YOU! OR YOU CAN FIGHT ME!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(PTA Toris:  
USTori: And.... which of the two of us had little to no gang violence or attempted uprisings against their monarch? Not that I would have beaten them into oblivion, I LIKE to hear what my people’s criticisms are and improve.  
UT Tori: I know! Does anyone want to hear a snail fact-  
UF Tori: *puts a hand on her shoulder.* No use, we gotta let them fight it out..... by the way, this pie is AMAZING! You must have the best quality snails in your world.)

Bird World:  
RP: *GASP!* No one in your world has WINGS?!?! How tragic!  
BP: If it’s going to happen, all combatants should stay on the ground. It is only fair!  
Razz: *Guttural growl that would make Satan waiver.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Chatter Explorers:  
Blue: You know what would be a great way to round out the evening? A visit to the park!  
Edge: Whaz park?  
Blue: Only the best place for young explorers!  
Slim: Whaz explorer?  
Blue: I’ll show you!  
(I swear Chitters fanfic stuff is gonna need it’s own chapters fjdndjzn)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(PTA Toris;  
UT Tori: The trick is to use light color shelled snails! The dark ones have too much bitterness!  
UF Tori: Really? I'll have to try it.  
SF Tori: And who uses lapdogs as Guardsmen here? Mine were proper hunting dogs. Razz was a good Captain, I should have appreciated him more.  
US Tori: Really? Alphys told me the small skeleton had too big of a heart to be a Guard.  
SF Tori: He is a very dashing young man, and he really is sweet. The most loyal man you could find. He doesn't have a traitorous bone in him.)

Bird World:  
Razz : I WANT TO FIGHT THEM LIKE THAT! I WOULDN’T WANT THEM TO SAY THEY ONLY LOST BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T USED TO LAND FIGHTING! AND I CAN MATCH ANY FLYING FIGHTER WELL ENOUGH! YOU JUST WATCH YOU PITEOUS PIGEONS. I HAVE ALREADY DEFEATED YOUR CAPTAIN WHILE SHE WAS FLYING! I WILL SHOW YOU!  
Dove: .....  
Slim: He doesn't mean you, he is just pissed that someone is pitying him. Can't stand it.

Chit Bits:  
*Edge is fucking ecstatic at the park and declares himself king of the slides. Slim likes the swings to be nice and gentle... Razz likes them FAST!*

(I would if it didn't entwine with the main line so much)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh yeah, they were giving pointers to Chitter early in the Neko story. Forgot about that)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And the Toris all lead back to their Sanses XD)

(PTA Toris:  
US Tori: I’ve never paid much attention to the Sans of my realm to be honest. His younger brother was the Royal Judge, and I’ve heard Sans liked to put puzzles up around Snowdin for human capture.  
SF Tori: My Papyrus was the Royal Judge of my realm as well. It was nice to have the two working in tandem. I could stay informed on many more happenings of my realm.  
UT Tori: My Sans always visited me at the Ruin Door. He always had the best jokes to share.)

Bird World:  
Razz: ... brother, we are leaving. *Turns around to stomp away from the idiots ignoring him.*  
Slim: *Thanking Christ Razz didn’t kill any of them.* Coming bro.

Chitter Chats:  
*Comic wanders off from the main group while the adults are occupied with the others, finding a whole lot of very pretty flowers that smelled good. A few strangers approach while he is sniffing.*  
S1: Wait, is that a cat or a kid?  
S2: I can’t tell.... woah the ears move!  
S1: Hey kid, come over here. I have candy. *Holds out a chocolate bar. To Comic it smells amazing.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(PTA Toris:  
UF Tori: mine is silver-tongued in more than one way. A great time really. Could be crass, could be pure honey.... damn he had a voice. Too bad he didn't have the equipment to follow though. *Sips tea.*  
........  
UT: *Blushes with a paw raised to her muzzle.* O-oh my.  
SF Tori: see, I tried something with mine and he was rather innocent for a Guard Captain. But man, did he make me feel cared for.  
US Tori: ......r-really now.)

Bird World;  
Dove: Um .... maybe you guys should watch the event? It's free. Bring your own picnics! *Follows the Swapfells.*  
Razz: I refuse to deal with any more idiots than I have to.  
Slim: right. So ...Sans... will you join the flight fights too? The wings were made for you.  
Razz: ...... maybe. If I like these fights.

Chit Bits:  
(OH NO STRANGER DANGER)  
Comic: *Is very lazy.* Mew? Meeeew? *Nah bro these flowers are comfy, bring it to me!*  
S1: C’mon! Over here!  
Comic: *Blue magic to pull on the choco.* Mew?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(PTA Toris:  
UF Tori: Of course, once he figures out how to stick a strap-on to his bony pelvis, BOY did things get THAT much greater. I’ve even invited him over a few times since the surface.  
UT Tori: S-strap-ons you say??? *Blushing so hard her cheeks are practically on fire. She wonders if she could convince Comic to try something like that with her.... if they ever became official.*  
US Tori: I-I’ve never been so lewd with a skeleton before...  
UF Tori: Would you like me to call up mine for you to try?  
SF Tori: *A bit sad that her advances never panned out at hearing that, but BOY did he fix her uncomfortable chair.*)  
(Razz would be so flustered/angry/terrified by their filth, since he can’t tell off his Toriel fhgnkfgj)

Bird World:  
Dove: In that case, you need to practice flying more! Otherwise you will never prevail when you fly in the tournament!  
Razz: ... fine, I shall “practice.”  
Dove: HOORAY! *Sparkly sockets at getting to teach again.*

Chitter Flitters:  
*Burb jumps onto a rock in the pond, chasing a frog and losing his balance, falling face first into the water with a flapping splash.*  
Red: Dammit kid you’re killing me here! *Jumps in to grab him.*  
Blue: LANGUAGE ALREADY!

Meanwhile with Neko Comic:  
S2: Fine, I’ll come to you. *Creeps over with the chocolate extended, Comic tugging at it harder with his magic but the guy won’t let go.*  
S1: You know, my girlfriend has been wanting a new cat…

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Might be busy til morning)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(It’s all good)  
(Okay I had to type this because we were making the UF Toriel/Red jokes. For some reason I imagined the Toriel’s holding a bachelorette party for SF Tori before she gets remarried, they order a giant cake, and Red pops out with a spiked collar, tight leather short-shorts and nipple teasers taped to his rib cage, swinging them around in circles. Only a few seconds later realizing the party was ONLY gonna be Toriels didndlfdnd. I started giggling like an idiot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ........ those are some thirsty ladies, huh?
> 
> CHAPTER 6 IS NEW, WE FORGOT A DAYS WRITING. IT HAS IMPORTANT STUFF IN IT.
> 
> REVISIT CHAPTER 6 FOR THINGS TO MAKE MORE SENSE.


	26. Red Shows His Bastard Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you like UT Soriel......... you're going to like the next few chapters. Dont worry its just two adults trying to have adult conversations with red making it spicy. Adult humor incoming. and a kidnapping attempt. Friendship Lessons.
> 
> Warning! There are sexual things for humor going ahead! there were some before but there's more here!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(This is great holy SHIT)  
Boning Party:  
*Red, who takes one look and thinks "Well, this is new." A wolf whistle from UF Tori would definitely kick the party off. UT would be blushing like crazy but taking mental notes, US would probably be a little mortified that the proper and fancy party is being wrecked by a porcelain stripper ... but be curious. SF Tori would be like, "Woof, it's been awhile since I've seen a nice set of bones~ dance shark bite~" the Asgores just had a bachelor party with some beers and a BBQ.... nothing near as interesting. They also had a skeleton show up, but that was just Razz dropping some of Chara’s stuff they forgot. And some steaks for the grill.*

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: .....what’s that look for?  
Dove: MORE BONDING WITH MY FLEDGLING!  
Razz: YOU DIRECTED ME INTO SO MANY TREES!  
Dove: That was learning! Now I can show you aerial maneuvers!  
Slim: ....trees?  
Razz: I don’t want to talk about it. It was awful.

Chit Flits:  
*Burb is a shivering baby in Red’s jacket at the picnic table the skeletons have chosen to hold their things. Red didn't have any towels on hand, so the baby got Red’s jacket.*

Comic: Daddy Blue got this kind! I want it! Momma Red doesn't let me have a whole bar!  
S2: .... who?  
Blue: Comic! Time for a drink! Baby where are you?  
S1: Better be quick.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Party:  
(XD I now see UT Toriel pulling Red aside later and asking about his equipment. Tori is being too obvious and Red knows she means Comic, so he gets him a glow in the dark strap on and gives it as a gift in front of Rus. Good thing Razz stopped at Asgore’s’ place instead. I’m pretty sure seeing several versions of his Monarch in such lewd states would give him a stroke fjfkflf)

Flight Lessons:  
*Dove sends a quick text to Chitter.*  
Dove: GOOD NEWS! Chitter got a Papyrus set of wings built! We can all fly together!  
Slim: Uhhhhh...

Critter Chat:  
S2: *Yoinks baby Comic into his arms. Being a ragdoll cat Comic goes completely limp as is instinct.*  
Blue: Comic! Come out now! This isn't funny!  
S1: Let's go already.  
(Also the thought of a shivering baby Burb just makes my heart break the poor adorable thing)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Party:  
Red: Tori, I’ll get Sans the equipment. *Wink.* Don’t worry your pretty head~ I’ll get the bone head ready to bone.  
UT Tori: HeheheH! Oh you cad!

Flight Lessons:  
(Slim your the new fledgling, hopefully Razz gets Burb to teach you)

Slim: Un-  
Dove: *Picks Slim up.* Time to go get your wings!  
Slim: Shit! SaaaaaNNNNSS!  
Razz: You’ll get used to their instinct to carry people.

Chit Chat:  
Comic: Papa Blue? 'Ver here!  
S2: Shut it cat.

Burb: Momma Red? 'M cold.  
Red: *Side hugs Burb.* Better squirt?  
Burb: *Peeps.*

HomeHawk1211/14/2020  
(BABY BURB <3<3<3)

Boning Party:  
*UT Tori didn’t think Red was serious, only to get a text from Comic a few days later.*  
-Comic: Hey Tori... Red gave me a few ”things” and said they were ”For a very special goat lady.* is there something you wanted to talk about.

Flight Lessons:  
Dove: THEY LOOK SO GOOD ON YOU!!!  
Slim: This feels weird. How the heck can I feel everything?!  
Razz: Yeah, again, you’ll get used to it.  
Chiiter: W-whoops! I forgot to add the tail features!  
Dogs: I’LL ADD THEM! *Takes it from Chitter and jams it directly into the proper hole on the back of Slim’s pack.*  
Slim: YEOUUUCH!!!!  
Razz:.... yeah, you’ll get used to that too.

Chit Chatters:  
*Blue comes through the bushes seeing the two guys running off, Comic reaching for him over the guys shoulder.*  
Comic: Papa Blue! Hi!  
Blue: MY BABY!!!!

Red: Did ya hear that?  
Burb: Peep? *Sockets double in size.*  
Red:.... How was I blessed with such babies?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
UT Tori: Oh goodness, he was serious. I shouldn't have had that much champagne at SF Toriel’s party.  
Comic: He has had a few... tips.  
UT tori: *Blush* Ooooooh my.

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Chitter, you really need to stop doing that. It’s a hazard.  
Slim: What?  
Razz: Don’t stand near a ledge with Dove.  
Slim: What???

Chit Chat:  
Comic: Hi!!!!  
Blue: YOU LET MY BABY GO!  
S1: Shiiiiiittttt!  
S2: HOW IS HE SO FAST???

Red: ..... that sounded like Blue....  
Burb: *Snuggles into the warmth.*  
Red: I gotta round up the bratlings, you want to sit on my shoulders?  
Burb: Yep!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Party:  
*UT Toriel and Comic are sitting on the sofa watching a movie together. Comic is sweating like crazy and nervous as all hell. It was a romance.*

Flight Lessons:  
Dove: NOW OPEN YOUR WINGS AND SOAR!!!  
Slim: Wait- GAHHHHH!!! *Gets shoved off the porch and free falls face first into a thick branch.*  
Dove: THAT WAS A VERY GOOD FIRST TRY!!!!  
Razz:..... I feel like i'd be better at teaching him.

Chitter Rescue:  
S2: WHAT THE HELL MAN!!?!?!  
*Blue has tackled the other one because he was trailing behind and managed to catch up.*  
Blue: DROP MY BABY OR YOUR FRIEND WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN!!!!

Red: *Collecting the brood with Burb sitting on his shoulder like a parrot.*  
Razz: Where papa????  
*Hears Blue screaming like a maniac.*  
Red: Uhhhhhhh....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Party;  
*Comic is getting mixed signals and has nooooo idea what tori wants from him. He doesn't know what HE wants either.*

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Dove. You have the enthusiasm, but maybe your brother could help here as well.  
Slim: DID YOU JUST PUSH ME OFF?!?  
Dove: YES! IT IS A CRUCIAL FIRST STEP!

Chit:  
*Blue has a magic bone raised and aimed at the spine of the stranger.*  
S1: JUST TAKE THE THING AND LET GO!

Red: I swear if it's another cute dog I'll slap him.  
Burb: *Cheeps.*  
Edge: I wanna go back to my kingdom!  
Red: Nope. Gotta find Blue.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Party:  
*Toriel really wants his special BONE but is too nervous to make the first move. She keeps drinking wine trying to gain that liquid courage. Thankfully/sadly she is a heavyweight.*

Flight Lessons:  
Dove: NOW TRY AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME USE YOUR WINGS!!!  
Slim: *Gawks up in shock. Razz shakes his head and glides down to be beside his brother. He has no clue where Burb went. *  
Razz: Okay. So I'm not even close to an expert, but Burb gave me some good tips. We will start off with branching. So this is how wings work using lift….

Chitter Gone Crazy:  
Red: *Steps out of the bushes with the children either clinging to his jacket or riding his head/shoulders.* Alright Blue what’s going-  
S2: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!  
Blue: DROP MY BABY!!! I WILL CUT HIM!!!!  
Comic:..... zzzzzz.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Party:  
*Comic is up to trying, but really wishes Tori would make her intentions clear. Like he really can't tell if she just really likes his company and trusts him to treat her like a regular person or what is going on. Tori is hoping Comic catches on but she has herself a very passive guy. Comic does end up on a lot of wine and dine maybe dates.*

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: How am I supposed to feel and move every part of something I never had???  
Razz: Imagination, and having someone flex the wings for you a bit.

Chit Chat:  
Red: *Summons a bonecage to trap the one holding Comic.* He is the nice one, now let him go.  
Razz: HISSSSSSS!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Party:  
*Meanwhile, Red has set up some hidden cameras in Comic’s living room and is watching the interaction intensely, eating from a bag of popcorn.*  
Red: Come on…. No! Caress her thigh again! She's totally into it! How can you not take control!  
Edge: SANS WHAY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT?!?!  
Red: Uhhhhhhh....  
Edge: *Sees the screen, looks and Red, then back at the screen.* Are you.... Spying on your alternate’s love life?  
Red:..... Maybe?

Flight Lessons:  
Dove: OH I CAN HELP!!!  
*Swoops in and starts forcing Slim’s wings.*  
Slim: What is wrong with you people?!?!  
Razz: Again, you'll get used to it... eventually.  
Chit Chat:  
S2: JUST TAKE THE DAMN THING! *Throws Comic like a football, he's laughing the whole trip.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
Red: That’s not how you please a lady. You treat her right and keep to boundaries but damn boy she's gonna jump you one day  
Edge: *Joined Red on the couch.* That queen does look infatuated with Comic. Who do you think will snap first?

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: STOP TOUCHING PLEASE.  
Dove: The best way for you to learn is-  
Slim: Winging it?  
Dove: *Pyshes Slim off the branch.*

Chit Chat:  
Comic: Mwehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehe! Momma Red catch!  
Red: OH SHIT. *Barely catches Comic with magic.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Now that I’ve found the quote button my finger keeps clicking it accidentally and reposting stuff...)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(It be like that sometimes)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Party:  
Comic: Y-ya Wanna hear a chemistry joke? *Voice practically cracks from this unusual amount of nerves.*  
Toriel: Okay, what is it?  
Comic: Ya know, we chemist do “it” on the table PERIODICALLY.  
Toriel: .... stars I can’t take it anymore.  
Comic: Take wha- *Toriel leans in for the make out session.*

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Okay, so branching, cup your wings and keep them steady, try to get a feel for how the wind passes on your wings.  
Slim: *A bit shaken from all the touching.* O-okay... *Pushes Dove to the side and gets behind Razz.*

Chitter Chatter:  
Blue: MY BABY!!!!! *Steps on S1’s head in his hurry to check on Comic.* NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!  
S2: You monsters are nuts! *Turns to run but the bone wall is there still.*  
Red: Before ya go, we need to have a “chat” about stealing other people’s kids.... *Socket flashes menacingly.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Tori's Boning Life:  
*Comic turns bright blue like a floodlight. He is very surprised, stunned, and now kinda excited!

Spying Creeps:  
Red: *From his couch.* You take that skeleton to the bone zone!  
Edge: *Petting his cat* ....does Comic even know what to do? Or just kissing or nuzzling?

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: I haven't been doing this long, but I can show you what I do know.  
Slim: J-just not him please....

Chit Chat:  
S1: *Is running away.* At least we don't got pets for kids!  
Red: FUCK OFF YA FLESHBAG!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps  
Red: Don’t worry bro, I made sure he had the RIGHT equipment.

Toriel’s Love Life:  
Toriel: D-do you have the...special bone?  
Comic: *Blue blush intensifies.* Y-yeah! I... don’t know how ya put it on.... *Holds up the strap on, a literal “bone” shaped Dildo flopping around in his shaky hand.*

Spying Creeps:  
Edge: THAT IS DISGUSTING! WHERE WOULD HE GET THAT?!  
Red: THAT'S MY GUY!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Flight Lessons:  
Razz: *Does his best to keep slow and watch Slim and make sure he’s getting places. He’s not smashing into trees as badly as Razz was.*  
Slim: T-this isn’t too bad...  
Razz: Lucky for you, there is someone half competent to help.  
Dove: HEY, I AM MORE THEN HALF COMPETENT! I’M THE GREATEST IN COMPETENCY.  
RAZZ: .......

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Life:  
Tori: *Starts giggling.* Oh goodness! It's a literal bone. Oh my. Hehe he!  
Comic: Yeah, I didn't really know what to say when he gave it to me.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Chat:  
Blue: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! *Smooshes Comic into his cheek.*  
Comic BURP!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Flight Lessons:  
Slim: Did you have a hard time Sans?  
Razz: Considering I only had Dove and no tail for a good portion of it? Y E S.

ChitChat:  
Red: Hahahaha ha! That’s my kiddo.  
Blue: Comic!  
Comic: Mrrrr? *Ear twitch.* Pops?  
Blue: You. Are. So. C u t e

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Life:  
Toriel: You could say he gave you an... actual boner?  
Comic: Heheheheh..... seriously how do I put it on?  
Toriel: Let’s find out together~

Spying Creeps:  
Edge: THIS is a bit much for me.  
Red: GET OUTTA HERE THEN PANSY! IT'S JUST GETTIN GOOD!

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: WOW, didn’t know Chitter had the next set done.  
*He was napping the whole time.*  
Razz: Finally! Please help me out here.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Chitter Critters:  
Blue: Well, I think we’ve had enough adventure for one day.  
Edge: BUT MY KINGDOM!  
Red: you can rule over the kingdom of your bed instead.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
Edge: I can't believe they consented to this.  
Red: ...  
Edge: Sans.  
Red: ......  
Edge: You better answer or I'm calling Comic right now.

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: *Is very nervous about doing more than just hops.* H-hi.....  
Burb: No problem, I got you. Show me what you've done so far, and Razz can show what he remembers and do a lil practice too. His landing could use work.

Chit Crits:  
*Edge builds a fort by stealing couch cushions and Red’s big blanket, the air mattress that Red pulled out for the short notice babies now is a castle worthy of Edge. He glares out at Red, as the air mattress is in Red’s room.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps:  
Red: What?!?! No you don’t! Honestly, I thought they’d do it in the bedroom! Not the couch! I ONLY AIMED A CAMERA AT THE COUCH!  
Edge; .... you disgust me- OH SHIT TORIEL PUT YOUR BRA BACK ON!!!! SHIELD YOUR EYES!!!  
Red: Damn.... nice tits!  
Edge: SANSSSSS!!!

Flying Lessons:  
Razz: Seeing as it’s only my second time doing this, I’d say I’m doing a good job.  
Burb: Not good enough for tournament fighting.  
Razz: Hmmph.  
Slim: S-so what do I do next?

Chitter Platonic:  
Blue: Mind if I sleep with you tonight? Platonically of course. *Blue walks in after taking a shower and washing the pond water off Burb.*  
Edge: MY CASSLE!!!!  
Blue: It is a beautiful castle!  
Red: Eh, you’re lucky my bed is a full sized.  
Blue: Oh goody!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
Red: I can appreciate some quality tits!  
Edge: THAT IS A QUEEN!  
Red: Damn right she is. Get it gurl.  
Edge: SANS! YOU WILL STOP THIS- *Sexy sounds.*  
Red: Damn Comic, even a blushing virgin like you can have a few moves.  
Edge: SAAAAAAAANS!!!

Flying Lessons:  
Burb: Let’s try tree to tree. Then we can break canopy. Razz should try to do a tight circle around the tree, close enough to brush against but not slam into.  
Razz: ..... do what?!? That-  
Burb: Is a common maneuver for Guards in training. Dove can do it.

Chit’s Totally Platonic Super Gay Dads:  
(There was only one bed)  
*Burb gets a rinse down with blue in the shower, he is a stinky pond boy.*  
Red: Edge, can I have my blanket back?  
Edge: NU!  
Red: Well, how are me and Blue gonna sleep?  
Edge: Together? *Is pulling his sleepy bros into the ‘cassle.’*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps:  
Edge: *Shielding his sockets.* Is Rus really okay with this??? ON THE SHARED COUCH?!!! *Suddenly Comic’s shorts come flying at the camera, narrowly missing it.*  
Red: Oh good, we almost lost sight of the action.  
Edge: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!

Flying Lessons:  
Razz: *Trying to bank around the tree, while Dove is doing circles around him.*  
Burb: You’re doing great up there! Don’t forget to practice the opposite direction.  
Slim: I-I did it without crashing!  
Burb: Good job pal.

Chitter Getting Snuggly:  
Blue: I did bring a blanket for the kids. It’s not as big as yours, but if we stay close together we can both fit.  
Red: .... Alright, get on up here already.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
Edge: SANS I’M SERIOUS. YOU BETTER HAVE CONSENT-  
Red: Woof! Dammmmn Tori. You could been a model.  
Edge: SANS I WILL BREAK THE TV I SWEAR!

Flight Lessons:  
*Razz is a little salty that Dove is so effortless. He reminds himself Dove has had years to practice.*  
*Slim has decided he likes wings well enough, but probably won't ever be comfortable in them.*

Chit Chats:  
*Edge and the boys sleep in a pile in the cassle.  
Blue fully snuggles with Red, the big spoon and very comfortable using red as a teddy bear.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps:  
Red: Well, initially he said I could put the camera up to..... ya know, give him some text message help if things started going wrong. Turns out he didn’t need it.... and I think he forgot the camera is even there.  
Edge: ..... You knew this would happen- *Audio interrupts him.*  
-Toriel: Yes that’s it! Harder!!!  
-Comic: Jeeze Tori you’re wearing me out.  
-Tori: KEEP BONING!  
Edge: Dear god Comic have some class!  
Red: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: How is formation working out for ya?  
Slim: I think I liked branching better. This is hard.  
Razz: Wanna try some dead drops and barrel rolls?  
Slim: Please no....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
*Through the camera audio.*  
-Comic: I think I'm 'goating' good at this!  
-Tori: SAA~NSSSS!  
Edge: Have some dignity!

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: That’s a bit advanced for a first day.... how about some soaring first.  
Razz: But.... okay I guess.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps:  
Red: Wait, where is Rus anyway?  
*The Fells hear the front door open through the camera audio.*  
Edge: Oh dear.  
-Rus: Sans I’m back from the movies and..... *He walks into view of the camera, a bare-boned Sans is currently riding on top of Toriel, her fuzzy butt aimed straight at the camera.*

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: You did well for your first day Slim. Razz, I think you’ll be ready to try barrel rolls soon.  
Razz: About time!  
Slim: I think I’m done flying for a little while....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Life:  
Rus: ..... Sans, you were supposed to text if you needed the house. Congrats both of you, and all that. I just need my power tools and I’ll be gone. Probably will use my window to leave  
Tori: *Is very embarrassed.*  
Comic: Uumm *blushing* thanks paps.  
Rus: I’ll go see if Blue or Edge is willing let me have a sleepover!  
Comic: *An oh shit moment.* Ok Paps. *Glances at the camera, the brightest yet.*

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: As lazy as I am, you do have to practice to be decent at flying.  
Slim: It's not my favorite feeling in the world.  
Razz: I enjoy it if I am the one steering!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Good on Rus for being reasonable djdnfk I never like it when people portray him as a literal child that doesn’t know this stuff. Portrays Comic as being a bad bro/parent)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Exactly! And Papyrus is NOT just innocent and nice. He literally has the most sassy and judgemental lines sometimes)

  
(If you give up the innocent look. That's literal trash talk.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(XD bro he has the most dialogue and some of his things are amazing)

Spying Creeps:  
*Comic still looks at the camera and swallows. Waiting for Rus to bolt upstairs.^  
-Comic: .... Tori. Close your eyes for a second. I have a surprise for you.  
-Toriel: Hehehe, alright, they are closed~  
*Comic bolts to the camera and tries turning it off, though he only switches off the visuals not the audio and throws something over it.*  
Red: Awww man, we had the best view too.  
Edge: Stop being gross!!!!  
-Tori: Oh my! Is that a cowboy hat?  
Red: Hell yeah we still got audio.  
Edge: You better hope Rus doesn’t come over here.

Chitter Chatter:  
*Razz is the first to wake up from the baby pile that morning, crawling out of the fort to see Red and Burb sleeping on the bed, ignoring HIM!*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Spying Creeps:  
*Ring ring!*  
Edge .... *Doesn’t want to answer that at all.*  
Red: ..... you want to pick that up?  
Edge: As much as you would a cleaning product.

Flight Lessons:  
Dove: NOW IT'S TIME FOR COMBAT! AERIAL COMBAT! PREPARE YOURSELF RAZZ!

Chit Chat:  
*Razz rightfully jumps on the two sleeping skeletons. They need to pay attention to him.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Spying Creeps:  
*Phone goes to voicemail.*  
Rus: HELLO EDGY-ME! WOULD IT BE OKAY IF I STAYED AT YOUR PLACE FOR THE EVENING? SANS MADE IT TO “HOME BASE” AS THEY SAY, AND NO ONE IN MY UNIVERSE HAS A SPOT FOR ME LAST MINUTE. I’LL JUST SLEEP ON THIS PARK BENCH UNTIL SOMEONE CALLS BACK- OH HEY SOME RANDOM HUMANS ARE APPROACHING! HELLO HUM-  
*Message ends.*  
Red: ......  
Edge: ...... I’m sure he’s fine.

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: *Struggling to perform some of the right turns and maneuvers Dove is doing. Dove keeps bopping him on the head with a bone and Razz isn’t skilled enough to really swipe back.*  
Dove: Keep trying! You're getting better!  
Razz: GRRRRRR!!!!

Chit Chat:  
*Razz is poised on top of Red, pushing as much weight as he could into the larger skeleton’s shoulder.*  
Razz: UPP!!! UPPPPPPP!  
Red: ...zzzz... five more minutes.... zzz...  
Razz: NUUUUU! NOWWWW!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Rus is totally manipulating them btw)

Spying Creeps:  
Edge: ....dammit. let's go get him. Hopefully we don't hear anything from the basement.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Flight Lessons:  
Dove: This is just your second time, I don't blame you for having a hard time!  
Razz: I WILL MASTER THIS AND FLY CIRCLES AROUND YOU!  
Slim: Is it normal to have air sickness?

Chit Chat:  
*Razz is flopping all around to wake the skeletons. Trying to get them up.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And yes, Rus is totally playing them to get his way. He’s a master manipulator fhdjfkl)

Spying Creeps:  
Red: Awww, but it’s getting steamy-  
Edge: TURN THAT SHIT OFF WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!!!

Flying Lessons:  
*Razz continues practicing while Slim has to land on a branch and is somehow throwing up, Burb rubbing his back.*  
Burb: How are you even vomiting?  
Slim: I don’t know!

Chit Chat:  
*The other children wake up at Razz’s mewing, seeing that the adults are still asleep. He needs back up!*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Boning Life Basement:  
*Rus is actually waiting in the basement, he had decided on the Fells for another 'friendship lesson'. ...... there are suspicious....noises faintly heard upstairs.

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: It feels like I got shook up and I don't even have anything to shake up!  
Burb: Guess flying isn't for everyone. Your brother seems to take to it well-  
Razz: *Watching Dove do a loop and barrel roll.* I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW YOU DID THAT YOU INSANE PIGEON!  
Burb: ...... welp.

Chit Chat:  
Blue: ...Reeeeeeeeed. The....the boys are up.  
Red: They’re yours in the morning.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Boning Life Basement:  
*Fell drags Red through the portal, seeing Rus sitting and smiling as they enter, the love noises still being heard in the background.*  
Edge: ..... you lied.  
Rus: I told the truth! Nobody else had space for me! And I thought this would be a great opportunity!

Flight Lessons:  
*Slim and Burb are sitting in the branch watching Razz slowly improving in his maneuvers with each attempt.*  
Razz: I’M CATCHING UP TO YOU CHICKEN WING!!!  
Burb: Heh, the guy learning fast.

Chit Kits:  
*All of the babies have now crawled into the bed, surrounding Blue and Red while either mewing or kneading trying to wake them up.*  
Slim: Papa?  
Burb: PEEP!  
Edge: MELK! MELK NOW!!!  
Comic: .... zzzzzz.....  
Razz: MAMA RED!!!!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I was proofing chapter 10 and checked the word count and it's 11,000. Damn that's a lot of words for a back and forth)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude. I have been trying for about 3 days at a time now to try and get it up)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I can see why. Didn't realize how long our back and forth was XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I haven't even hit November 1st yet in putting the comments up)  
(I think we are just about to Razz’s nose dive into Birdtale)

Boning Life Pickup:  
Edge: .... get in the portal. I don't want to hear that  
Red: Hey! I want to know-  
Edge: Sans. You will be sleeping in the cells if you finish.  
Red: You’re no fun....  
Rus: That’s not exactly friendly, but I agree that we should get going, Toriel has been ....waiting for a while.

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: That’s my bro. Isn't he cool?  
Burb: Uh huh.  
*Razz is currently trying to tackle Dove who just slips out of the way each time.*

Chit Chat:  
Red: Jeez I'm up you heathens. Blue, get off.  
Blue: *Is snuggled up to Red.* whyyyyyy…..  
Razz: Up! Up!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh god, almost to chitter fics, I’m sure you’ll get to November... eventually xgbvgb)

Boning Life Pickup:  
*From downstairs, they can hear the two lovebirds in their foreplay.*  
Toriel: Oh Sans~ Your bucking bronco is ready for another ride~  
Comic: Ya know, I think I make a better rodeo clown- HMPH!  
*Loud make-out noises.*  
Edge: .... go go GO GO!!!

Flight Lessons:  
Ace: *Swoops by while Razz is trying a barrel roll.* NICE SHORTY! YOU ALMOST MADE A FULL SPIN THAT TIME!  
Razz: ANY MORE SNARK AND I’LL COOK YOU INTO CHICKEN WINGS!

Chit Chat:  
*Red tries to stand up, all five children latching around his bare rib cage and climbing it like a jungle gym.*  
Red: ......

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Basement Boning Escape:  
*As they leave, one last line is heard...... "time to ride this horse to the bone-“

Flight Lessons:  
Ace: Come oooon! You need the encouragement! Gotta be up to par for the fights!  
Razz: AT LEAST IF I'M GROUNDED I CAN STILL FIGHT!  
Ace: HEY! I CAN GROUND FIGHT!  
Razz: I BET YOU CAN'T THROW A PUNCH!

Chit Chat:  
Red: ....if y'all want milk, jump on Blue.  
*Blue is attacked by baby bones.*

(I can't wait for the Chitter fiction omg. It's fiction-ception. A fic in a fic)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Underfell Escape:  
*The portal brings them to the Fell house and away from the passion noises.*  
Edge: Oh thank Christ.  
Rus: Wait.... what is that noise?  
Red: Shit I didn’t turn the TV off.

Flight Lessons:  
*Ace and Razz are now jumping between the ground and the air hurling bones and spears at each other.*  
Burb: Well, this escalated quickly.

Chit Chat:  
Blue: .... real mature Red.  
Edge: MELK!  
Red: God you are noisy.  
*Hears door knock.*  
Red: Coming!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underfell Escape:  
Rus: Wowie! I didn't know you and my brother were so intimately involved, Red! Good for you two!  
Red: Fuck it ain't that-  
Rus: Red, even though this is your house, you shouldn't curse without good reason! How else would people realize you're serious!  
Red: I ain't interested in Comic!  
Rus: It’s nothing to be ashamed of!  
Edge: *Is not really wanting to touch that conversation, shuts the TV off.*

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: .... reminds me of a few times with my Alphys and my bro.  
Burb: .... he knows not to dust people here., right?  
Slim: *Watching Razz viciously throw attacks* .....maybe?

Chit Chat:  
*Comic and slim Stay for sleepy cuddles before milk time. The others follow and pester Red as he is trying to open the door. Dove is outside the door with Stretch.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Underfell Escape:  
Edge: You said you wanted to talk about friendship or whatever? Please let’s just talk about anything else.  
Rus: OH YES!  
Red: Really Boss?  
Edge: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: ..... Well, at least she’s not dead.  
*Razz and Ace are now panting on the ground after nearly an hour of trying to hurt each other.*  
Razz: *Huff Huff.* I-I’m getting too old for this shit...  
Ace: Awww, don’t tell me you’re done already?!  
Raz: SHUT UP HAG!

Chitter Chat:  
Stretch: We got you a present.  
*Dove pulls out a giant box, with the parts to build a massive castle themed bunk bed with a slide and fake towers.*  
Edge: MY KINGDOM HAS COME!!!!  
Red: Where am I gonna put that???  
Dove: Honestly I figured you’d be moving soon, since I can’t see you raising five toddlers in such a small house.  
Red: I’m gonna have to clear out the spare room.... dammit you’re giving me work!  
Razz: DAMMIT SHIT!  
Blue: I SWEAR I WILL IMPLEMENT A SWEAR JAR!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underfell Lessons:  
Edge: I do not-  
Rus: Friends can have sex. I think the terms are ‘friends with benefits!’  
Edge: How about your odd views on soft slaps? I don't want to hear of what my brother could do with your brother.  
Rus: ..... you mean.... friendly touches and hugs?  
Edge: Yes that.

Flight Lessons:  
Ace: Man, we haven't- *Huff.* E-even gotten to obstacles! Like, folding wings in mid air to fit kinda stuff!  
Razz: You’re a crazy ass seagull!  
Ace: Bet it will take a whole month for you to do it!  
Razz: Fuck you! I'll do it in 2 weeks!

Chit Chat:  
Red: Blue, what the hell are you gonna charge the kids for the jar? Shots of milk and gold fish crackers?  
Blue: You should at least try to keep the swearing down.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Underfell Lessons:  
Rus: *Has a teddy bear for his example.* So remember! A nice friendly hug can be gentle or firm, but never painful or violent. Hugging someone for too long can be taken the wrong way.  
Red: Heheheh- OW!  
Edge: Stop interrupting with your dirt humor!

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: *Currently sharing sandwiches that Dove raced off to make, and they were all having a picnic while Razz continues to train with Ace egging him on.*  
Burb: Not gonna lie, I think he’s gonna figure out the trick flying sooner then two weeks...

Chit Chat:  
Slim: MELK!  
Edge: NU! CASTLE NOW!!!  
Blue: *Comes out of the bedroom.*  
Red: Okay Blue, either make the milk or clear out the spare room. I ain’t doing both!  
Blue: STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT! The Swear jar is for you! You’re corrupting our babies!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Underfell lessons:  
Edge: ....... you want me to do....what with the plush thing?  
Rus: Hold and carry it like you might a Sans! To practice healthy Sans handling and other small being handling!  
Red: *Trying not to laugh-*  
Rus: WAIT! I JUST REALIZED WE HAVE A SANS HERE FOR THIS FRIENDSHIP LESSON!  
Red: Hell no-HEY!  
Rus: *Scooped up.* Red, you need to get more used to being handled!

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: Probably. My brother always seemed so crazy good at fighting, but apparently it's all from the extreme training he does.  
Burb: .... you said your world is more violent, right?  
Slim: Our Underground had a lot of murder and other shit in it.  
Burb: ......... *Is watching Razz basically channel pure spite into fuel to fly faster.*

Chit Chat:  
Red: Look, it’s gonna take a bit to get in the habit to stop swearing Blue!  
Stretch: ... looks like Blue made himself at home.  
Red: Took up most the bed too.  
Dove: I can help clean up.


	27. Red Almost Dies (He Might Be Dramatic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of Razz’s history, some friendship lessons...... possible death...

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Underfell Lessons:  
Red: I DID NOT GIVE MY CONSENT FOR THIS! I DON’T LIKE BEING TOUCHED!  
Edge: Could have fooled me, with all you bedroom activities-  
Red: CONSENT IS EVERYTHING YA DICK!!!

Flying Leasons:  
Burb: How did you not end up... like that?  
Slim: What do you mean?  
Burb: You know, Red and Edge are pretty spiteful like your bro. You’re pretty chill by comparison.  
Slim: I... I guess it helped that my bro was about as, uh.... high up on the food chain as you could get, so to speak. Red and Edge didn’t have that luxury, for a while at least.  
Burb: “High on the food chain?” So being a Guard Captain?  
Slim: Yeah, you don’t mess with my bro that’s for sure. I was only ever attacked once during a major uprising, and after what my bro did to the ones responsible, no one dared try anything like that again.  
Burb: .... after the whole Saw thing, I completely believe it.  
Dove: THAT’S SO SWEET!  
Burb: I don’t know if sweet is the word I would use...

Chit Chat:  
Blue: Oh! I know how to make that go faster! Every time I hear one of the babies swear YOU add your own money to the jar!  
Red: What?! That’s bullshit!  
Razz: BUSHIT BUSHIT BUSHIT!  
Blue: That’s four swears! Now pay up!  
Dove: It’s like they are already married.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I kinda see the Tori story line as a side to what the others are doing while waiting for tournament day)

Underfell Lessons:  
Red: LEMME GO!  
Rus: You need to accept friendly contact! And exposure is the best way to do that!  
Edge: I must admit, this is more my expertise. I haven't used soft gestures much in my torture but i can see the uses now.  
Rus: I am not torturing him! He is just dramatic! Now we can watch Metteton, my Metta, while exposing you two to friendly touch and gestures!

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: Well ... if you're the meanest and most vicious in the Underground, you have to prove it when someone challenges you. You earn the title for the relative safety it brings your people and you have to defend that title if you don't want to die. My brother was good at that.  
Burb: That sounds fucked up.  
Slim: Eh... maybe a little.  
Dove: Wowie! It took me weeks to learn to hit with a wing! He just decked Undyne one!

Chit Chat:  
Stretch: Pfft..  
Red: Look Blue, they'll learn those are adult words if we tell them and just don't react too strongly when they say it.  
Blue: I am also hoping you will swear less. You can get your point across without swears!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Yes! The side story of everyone prepping beforehand. Meanwhile Blue and Stretch are taking a break from alternate universes, Blue taking a few spa days, naps and cleaning while Stretch is doing his own thing. They need some calm after all the stuff at their house. They don’t wanna be followed fjfkfkkf)

Underfell Fluff:  
Red: I swear if you don’t put me down I will gnaw your arm off!  
Edge: I’d like to see you try. *They glare at each other, Edge calling Red’s bluff.*  
Rus: This is.... better! For the sake of the lesson no arm gnawing please!

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Hah! Suck it turkey!  
Ace: Beginners luck! I’d like to see ya do it again- OWWW!  
Razz: HAH! WING SMACK VICTORY FOR SANS!!!!

Chit Chat:  
Dove: I’ll just... sneak around you two and start cleaning. *Takes the massive castle box and shimies his way around Blue and Red, Edge struggling to keep up on his little legs not wanting to lose his castle.*  
Slim: Miser? Melk pwease! *Yanks on Stretch’s pant leg and gives him kitty big saucer sockets.*  
Stretch: Well, I don't think your parents will be done anytime too soon... eh, what the worst that could happen?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Feel free to purr or show affection. It is safe here.  
Red: *Forcefully cuddled between the Papyri.* I am about to bite the shit out of one of you and it won't feel nice.

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: At least they are having fun?  
Razz: I’LL TAKE YOUR FLIGHT FEATHERS AS TROPHIES!  
Burn: Well, that’s concerning.

Chit Chat:  
$Slim now has a tummy ache from too much milk. Dammit Stretch.*  
*Edge is not leaving his castle. Even if he isn't really helping to build it all that well.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay I’ve been looking at some chidren’s bunk beds and some of these this are like works of art. My poor ass could never justify something that the kids could only use for like.... 7 or 10 years (at least until they reach that stage where castles are for babies) but Jesus)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Rich people are insane, man Edge would never leave)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Nope, it would be his new home. Just eat, breath and talk everything castle until being dragged out kicking and screaming. And I thought big cardboard boxes I could color on and blanket forts were fancy)  
(Okay! I just finished proofing the latest chapter! Also we need to revisit the grave stone craft shfjkf)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Chomp.* How ya like that ya bastards! *Realizes He has bit deeply into Rus’s arm by mistake.*  
Rus: OWW! Red, why would you do that???? *A tear comes to his sockets.*  
Red: Shiiiiiiit.

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: *Pant.* I.... think we should stop for a few minutes....  
Ace: WHAT?! Don’t tell me you’re tired! We’re just getting started!  
Razz: Yes. *Pant.* I’m tired and need a breather. Are you happy?  
Ace: UGGGGH!

Chit Chat:  
Dove: Honestly, why does Red have boxes and boxes of socks in here?  
Edge: MY CASTLE!!!  
Dove: I can’t build it until I clear out some of these sock boxes.  
Edge: *Decides to try helping, shoving one of the boxes towards the door, but it only shifts a few centimeter*. LEAVE BOX LEAVE!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god we dooooo. Maybe it's what Razz can do right before the fights? The grounds are only half done anyway)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(That sounds like a good idea. Visiting Blue one day before the tournament and they craft)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red is panicking internally, and licks the wound when he releases his bite.*  
Red: um, I.... did warn you?  
Rus: .... once we treat this, I am prescribing at least three hours of cuddles.  
Red: *Accepts his fate* .....okay.......

Flight Lessons:  
Ace: What is your Undyne even doing if you push yourself till you drop of exhaustion!  
Razz: Probably shoving a needle in someone.  
Ace:.....what?

Chit Chat:  
*Edge bites one of Red’s sock boxes. He dislikes the taste.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Those tears from Rus were total manipulation fghfesg. Rus can cry on command like a professional acting bastard)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Smugly grinning with Red seated in his lap, one arm around his chest and the other scratching the top of his skull like a dog.*  
Edge: You know, this wouldn’t be so gross if you didn’t smell like mustard.  
Red: BITE ME!  
Rus: ANYMORE BITING AND I WILL USE COMIC’S SOCKS AS MUZZLES!

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: My Undyne is a crazy ass scientist, remember? Alphys was my second in command.  
Ace: Hmmmm, I wonder what fighting her would be like?  
Razz: I can bring her over if you really want. She’s always game for a spar.  
Ace: SICK!

Chit Chat:  
Edge: BAD BOX BAD!!! *Starts scratching up the side of the box with his claws until Dove scoops him up.*  
Dove: Now let’s get you some food while Blue and I clean the bad boxes out.  
Edge: HMPH!!!  
Blue: Stretch!? What did you do to my baby?! *Clutching a crying, colicky Slim still not over his tummy ache.*  
Stretch: I just gave him milk like he wanted.... don’t give me that look!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Rus is taking friend lessons seriously. The manipulation wouldn't work if they didn't actually care)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Stews in irritation.*  
Rus: See! This isn't so bad!

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: We could probably get all the guardsmen Undyne and Alohys together for a fight too.  
Ace: FUCK YES!  
Burb: Oooooh. Thats probably something I should stop.....

Chit Chat:  
Blue: You can't just give them all the milk they can drink! That's bad for them! You always ask for any known allergies!  
Dove: *Carrying Edge.* Blue, do you have any snacks for lil chomper here?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: NOW THAT WE HAVE DONE SANS CARE EXERCISES, IT IS TIME TO WORK ON PAPYRUS CARE!  
Edge: ..... Papyrus care is a thing?  
Rus: OF COURSE! Blue is the better expert in it, but he has shown me a thing or two that I must agree with.  
Red: *Devilish smirk.* Please continue.

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: Hey hey, let’s not get too hasty. I know how much ya both love fighting, and if we bring too many in at once, I think the damage that could happen to the forest would be bad.  
Ace: *Blushes in embarrassment.* Y-yeah... you might have a point there....

Chitter Chat:  
Blue: Stretch! Just go help Dove with clean up! I don’t need a second fussy baby on top of Slim.  
Stretch: I said I was sorry!  
Razz: PSK!

——-SWAPFELL WESTERN TANGENT——  
*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Sorry, I’ve been working on southern belle Toriel and hic Asgore lol.)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Lady Toriel: Hm. I did have a beau once. He had a lovely voice. *Sips tea.* What a wild summer that was

Banjo Asgore: ooh~ I once had a lady, the fairest of the bunch, she invited me in for a Sunday brunch. Such a pretty thing~, to bad I can't afford a ring~, but we had quite the fling~

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Pretty much fghffzg. Then they had a baby, and things got scandalous)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh my. Soo scandalous. Lady toriel is quite the rebel. I imagine the past scandals include a either doctor or pastor gaster)

*****  
HomeHawk12

(Forgot to share Saloon girl Muffet and Gun salesman/mustache expert Grillby. How does a fire elemental grow a mustache? It’s a trade secret)  
(Yes, Toriel had quite the love life with Sheriff Gaster. She liked his curly mustache. Preacher Burger Pants never approved dhgfhj)  
(Other design sheets that are complete!)  
<http://aminoapps.com/p/u2vk2l>

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Grillby and Gaster definitely had relations with the staches. I can just see it. I can see alphys in her room, trying so hard to wear a hat. And they just... either fall off or look derpy)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Someone in the comments suggested Alphys have little mini hats for each of her spikes and I kind of loved the idea djdnfk Asgore was too much of a hic to be in the mustache club lmao)  
(God Damn i hate the quote function)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Even tho Asgore is the only naturally hairy one. I could see her even trying to cut small holes for her spikes too.)

———-BACK TO THE STORY———-

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Blue told me that Stretch likes neck vertabrae scratches, his head in Blue’s lap, and back rubs.  
Edge: ..... w h a t.

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: You could do a suplex contest instead.  
Ace: *Shocked still*....... that would be ....amazing.... Sans please. Either Sans. Pleeeeeeeease.  
Slim: Nyehhhh. That would be dangerous.

Chit Chat:  
Razz: *In any form, has a ....thing with Stretch.* How dare he hurt Slim!* Hisssissssss!  
Stretch: Ok ok I’ll go...  
Razz: *Swipes at Stretch from his spot next to a sick Slim.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: I’m not doing it.  
Rus: But Red played along! The only way to be fair is for you to try too!  
Red: Yeah “Big boy,” come and sit on “daddy’s” lap. *Devilish smirk.*  
Rus: Stop or I will punish you with more cuddles from me!  
Red: .... dammit.

Flight Lessons:  
Bubo: *Enters silently on his stealth wings.* Children please. If the first tournament goes well, we can discuss other Multi-Universal competitions.  
Ace: FIIIIIINE! You’re no fun!!!!!  
Burb: Thank Christ someone is talking sense.

Chit Chat:  
(Razz has this built in knowledge that Stretch is ALWAYS asking for it)

Stretch: *From the spare room.* Hey Red! If you don’t have anymore space for these socks I can take them off your hands.  
Dove: STARS NO!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Is walking a fine line for an acceptable bastard.*  
Edge: *Is stiff as a board, laying on his front with his arms folded in Red’s lap.*  
Rus: .... Edge, you have to relax.  
Edge: I am relaxed.  
Rus: .... do you need me to demonstrate first?

Flight Lessons:  
Bubo: *Looks over at Slim and Razz, he has been observing a bit in the higher branches.* You two have been flying well for just starting, especially you Razz. I could hardly tell you’ve never had wings.  
Razz: *Doesn’t know how to take fatherly praise.* Thank you your majesty. *Proper bow, not as deep as he would for his queen tho.*

Chit Chat:  
Blue: STRETCH! No! Not after I got pinned when your sock closet burst!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude. 50,000. We broke 50,000 words. Before November)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Damn, that’s insane. I had no clue our conversation spanned so many word, but I have no issue with it dgjkjlh)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(The great Gatsby had 47,000 to put it in perspective)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I remember having to read that book... it put me to sleep, I had to get an audio book. We wrote Somthing that keeps me way entertained the whole way through lmao)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I remember thinking that all the characters are really stupid honestly. Like. Bro. Gurl. No. Just.....walk away. This isn't worth it.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude, like Gatsby was an idiot, the narrator was such a simp for Gatsby, then I was nodding off to the audiobook then immediately snapping awake when someone got hit by a car and died. I couldn’t remember much of the middle)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Like. I kept hearing all these interpretations..... and I was just like. That guy needs to reevaluate some things. And all the people are so.... I just think they really could just not and been fine)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(They totally would have been fine too without all that, but I guess they were the equivalent of the modern college party animals that love drinking and thing they are invincible)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: See, just relax your shoulders like this, and let Red stroke your vertebrae.  
Edge: *Looking at Rus laying next to him on the floor. He tenses up and tries to flop his shoulders out.*  
Red: Okay.... just pet.... *Slowly strokes Edge’s spine through his shirt. Edge immediately turns to jello. The spine petting is VERY NICE.*

Flight Lessons:  
Bubo: *Warm chuckle.* Please call me Bubo, there is no need for such formalities here.  
Razz: *Nervous* Y-yes you High- I mean Bubo.  
Ace: NYEHEHEHEH! WEEB!  
Razz: I WILL EAT YOUR BEAK!!!!

Chit Chat:  
Blue: .... wait.... if Stretch takes the socks to Doves house... ON SECOND THOUGHT TAKE ALL THE SOCKS!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude. I just don't like the book really. Its just not my kind of thing)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: ......what the fuck.  
Edge: *Can’t even answer.*  
Red: What the literal fuck.  
Rus: Look! you're doing it Red!

Flight Lessons:  
Ace: .... I don't have one???  
Razz: YOU WILL WHEN I SHOVE-  
Slim: ....SANS! I THINK I’M STUCK IN THE TREE! *Has a foot stuck in a hollow.*  
Razz: ..... we will continue this. I won't forget. *Goes to check on his brother.*

Chit Chat:  
Dove: Stretch, you do that and the couch is no longer allowed to have honey drank on it!  
Stretch: Hey!  
Edge: *Gives him the castle to protect his brothers plz!* Is it done yet?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The Great Gatsby was the authors only good selling book out of many oddly enough.)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Bright red from embarrassment. Maybe if he lies absolutely still, Red will shut up.*  
Red: ... Rus, could ya step over here for a sec and turn around?  
Rus: Sure thing Red, but why- *Red strokes Rus’s spine, getting his entire upper body to slouch and a satisfied purr to accidentally slip from his mouth.*  
Red: Seriously, da fuck????

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Hold still so I can slip your foot-  
Slim: WOAH! *Trips backwards, now hanging completely upside down by his foot.* I wanna go home...

Chit Chat:  
Red: We haven’t even started building yet kiddo.  
Edge: *Pure devastation, and also grouchy wanting breakfast.*  
Red: *Dropping the last box in the small living room, making it look like a hoarder’s house with just a path to get anywhere.* Alright Blue, turns out the carpet is gross even for me, so ya have five minutes to vacuum before I dump the castle’s content.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I don't doubt it. To think it's just the train wreck romance. If that's EVEN romance. It’s just. No thanks)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: ...... this is too much power. Never teach it to Razz.  
Edge: *Wants to tell off his brother but the pets won't let him.*  
Rus: *Glad that Red voluntarily showed affection.*

Flight Lessons:  
Burb: well Slim. Hate to tell ya.... but there isn't a bat winged monster.  
Slim: ..... brooo. Can you get me out please? Before it starts to hurt?  
Razz: You’re fine. I got you.  
Slim: Can we please go home now?

Chit Chat:  
Blue: I have a carpet cleaner vacuum, give me a minute!  
Red: I gave you five!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red strokes Edge a little further down, hitting his first and second lumbar vertebra. Edge’s pelvis automatically arches a bit into the air like a cat without his consent and he starts uncontrollably purring.*  
Rus: You found his sweet spot Red!  
Red: *Not sure if he should laugh cuz it’s hilarious, or get his will ready.*

Flight Lessons:  
Razz: Okay, I'm going to twist your foot and that should get you out.  
Slim: Sooner would be nice...  
*Razz twists the foot, only to hear a pop. The ankle separated from the rest of Slim’s leg.*  
Slim: *Screams as he crashes into branches on the way down.*

Chit Chat:  
*The guys started castle assembly in Red’s room cuz the now thoroughly washed carpet needed to dry before they could put things in there again.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff, but like, Red could actually die:  
*Red chooses to never mention the sweet spot. If Edge wasn't half out of his mind relaxed, Red could have been dead very very sorry very very quickly.*  
Red: ..... Rus. This is a very dangerous game.  
Edge: *Sockets half lidded and can hardly think.*

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: .....ow.  
Razz: *Grabs Slim’s foot and control drops down to Slim.* ....you okay?  
Slim: I got leaves and sticks everywhere.

Chit Chat:  
*Razz is investigating each piece to make sure it isn't dangerous. Edge keeps asking if they are done yet. Stretch isn't allowed to touch and has Comic in his lap with Axe next to him. Old boy is extra tired with the babies around.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff and the Panic is Real:  
Edge: ... zzzzzz.....  
Red: Wait..... did he literally fall asleep?  
Rus: *Whispers.* Wow Red, you are really good at this!  
Edge: *Purrs loudly in his sleep.*  
Red: .... I’m literally sitting with a sleeping tiger on top of me.....

Flight Lessons:  
Slim: *Reaches into his socket and pulls out a whole lotta leaves and twigs*... I got leaves and twigs in places I didn’t know existed.  
Razz: Yeah, I think it’s time for us to head home.

Chit Chat:  
*Stretch sits on the couch and listens to the chaos in the bedroom.*  
Red: Don’t assemble the whole frame! We’ll never get it out of the room!  
Dove: WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO WORK ON NOW?  
Blue: Help me with assembling the steps then!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff, possibly Red’s last moments:  
Red: .... this is how I die.  
Rus: It is nice, isn't it.  
Red: I dont think that phrase means the same to either of us.

Bird to Swapfell:  
*Razz pulls Slim into the machine, trailing leaves and sticks. When they get to the apartment, Lord Hater has found a bug on Slim.*

Chit Chat:  
*Razz has found.... the box. He fought Edge for it. And has now taken to grabbing lazy cats to hoard. Comic and Burb are already in there, Razz just needs the pouty sick Slim and the large Axe to fit in there.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *YAWN.* *Stretches his arms forward like a cat, realizing there is a pair of black shorts underneath him. Tensing he looks up, seeing Red supposedly sleeping.*  
Red: *Pretending to sleep, hoping Edge won’t kill him if he’s asleep.... maybe.*

Swapfell:  
*Razz receives a text from Blue.*  
Older Bro Chat:  
-Blueberry: Hey Razz! I was thinking, since I have all this concrete supplies, maybe we can make those stones like we talked about soon?

Chit Chat:  
*Edge has acquired a new box and has dragged Axe into it along with Slim. At the moment he’s trying to get Stretch into the box too.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Edge creeps off, hoping to just forget this-*  
Rus: Edge! You're awake! Wasn't that nice? I don't know why Red was scared for his life!

Swapfell:  
Big Bro Chat:  
-RazzleDazzle: I would be fine anytime today or the next few days.  
-BlueBerry: That’s great!  
-RazzleDazzle: Slim is pretty tired right now, getting leaves off, but he should be fine.  
-BurbBlurb: He did take a bit of a fall. He ok?  
-RazzleDazzle: The cat is playing with the bugs he brought in but fine over all.  
*Hatchet's nickname changed to HollowBones.*  
-HollowBones: Heh.  
-RazzleDazzle: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?  
*HollowBone’s nickname changed to TurkeyJerky.*  
-TurkeyJerky: Do wut?

Chit Chat:  
*Razz and Edge are now at odds. Brother versus brother. The fight over the fluffy bones is real.  
Stretch is recording it.*  
*Axe is comforting Slim.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Is Burb the one changing his name?)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Starts blushing like crazy, looking like a stop light.*  
Rus: Wowie! I’ve never seen you this embarrassed! Red wake up lazybones! We have lessons to continue!  
Red: *Sweating nervously, but keeping his sockets closed and silently praying.*

Swapfell:  
Lil Bro Chat:  
LoveDove: Are you doing alright Slim? That was quiet the tumble!  
SpagettiDude: Oh no! What happened? If you need anything the Fells and I can come over!  
Pup-yrus: I’ll live. After I fish all the leaves out of my dead socket.

Chit Chat:  
The two brothers stare each other down hissing-  
*CRASH.*  
Red: OWWW MY F*%!ING FOOT!!!!  
*Both brothers jump about a foot in the air and hide behind the couch. Temporary truce for comfort cuddles.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Up to you. Could be Blue or Red or anyone messing with Razz)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(HollowBones makes me think of Axe so we’ll go with him lol. The other most inept Sans with tech figured it out before Razz)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(K!)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Sweat drops.*  
Rus: Red, I want to see how you do brotherly bonding and affection.  
Red: *Intensely sleeping.*

Swapfell:  
Big Bro:  
-RazzleDazzle: CHANGE MINE TO MALEFACIENT SANS. WHOEVER DID THAT!  
*RazzleDazzle has been changed to Grape.*  
-Grape: WHOEVER IS DOING THIS I WILL FIND YOU.  
-BlueBerry: Razz, it's just the mandatory messing around.

Lil Bro  
-LoveDove: Oh! I remember picking branches out of my wings when I first started flying!  
Pup-yrus: Pretty sure Sans is about to break out the raid as there were a few bugs too.

Chit Chat:  
Blue: RED YOU SCARED THEM! *Goes to check on them.*  
Red: Wrench! On foot! Not MY IDEA!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: P-perhaps it's best to let him sleep.... And never bring this up again.  
Rus: But-  
Edge: EVER.

SwapFell:  
Razz: Die insect scum- HOLY SHIT!  
*Practically jumps out of his pants.*  
Slim: What's wrong?!?!  
Razz: There was a fucking spider on me!!!! Look! It's MASSIVE!!!!  
*Slim leans in to look at the tiny spec that was actually a spider.*

Chit Chat:  
Dove: Let me see.... Oh goodness, it is broken. How hard did you hit it?  
Red: HARD ENOUGH! His big toe is cracked.  
(Stretch might have to help... *shudder*)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: But it’s progress!  
Edge: Never.  
Rus: You were both doing so well.

Swapfell:  
Slim: Awwwww! Lil baby spider~ ... maybe I should put him in my tank.  
Razz: Oh God no.

Chit Chat:  
Stretch: .... Kay. So. I might have lost the instructions. Anyone read Japanese?  
Red: *Is being inspected by Razz and Edge what the hell Stretch it’s been ten minutes.* SHHHHH-! *A kitty has .... pressed on the toe.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge:..... I’m going to make dinner.  
Rus: Wait! *Edge storms into the kitchen.*  
Red: *Internally thanking whatever higher being is up there. Rus turns around and starts shaking Red hard.*  
Rus: Wake up Red! You are ruining things!!!!

SwapFell:  
Razz: LORD HATER! Kill the thing already!!!! *Pushes the cat towards the tiny spider, but she ignores it in favor of a leaf.*  
Slim:... I’m putting her in the tank with Monika.  
Razz: Just get it away from me!

Chit Chat:  
Edge: BONE MOVES BONE MOVES!!!!  
Red: Stop touching it!!!!!! GAHHHHH! *He continues touching it.*  
Blue: Baby no! *Shoos them away so he can splint it.*  
Dove: OH! My butler knows five different languages!  
Red: And the guy works as a butler- AHHHHH!!!  
Blue: Stop being a baby!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Buddy. That was. I almost died. Like. Fuck. This is emergency mustard worthy.  
Rus: Stop being dramatic!

Swapfell:  
Razz:..... Lord Hater, you are not pulling your weight.  
*Ding!*  
Razz: .... that’s probably Blue.

Chit Chat:  
Red: You fucking have a broke toe, THEN you can yell at me! Razz, Don't you lick it!  
Blue: Razz, go help Dove please.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: It’s okay though! Now we can do dinner bonding and discuss what we’velearned so far!!!!!  
Red:..... On second thought I’m not feeling well, Imma head of bed.  
Rus: Oh! I can teach Edge about brotherly caretaking for illnesses!  
Red:......

Swapfell:  
*Razz opens the door, seeing Blue holding a whole lotta craft boxes full of concrete. Stretch was behind him carrying them too.*  
Razz: I’m surprised you brought your brother.  
Stretch: Just helping to bring in some craft supplies, though I was curious about where you lived. I can leave if you want.

Chit Chat:  
Red: *Breathing heavy from the continued, very painful, aggrivation of his break.* These kids are gonna be the death of me...  
Dove: GOOD NEWS! Rus can stop by and help, just don't loose the other instructions!  
Burb: *Looking at the toe, noticing Red’s outstretched leg would be a good perch for further examination.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red is fucking dead no matter what.*  
Red: .... fuckit. We got stuff for lasagna.  
Rus: A secondary best dish!

Swapfell:  
Razz:.... you can entertain the spider, maybe.  
Slim: *From his room.* Is that Blue and Stretch?

Chit Chat:  
*Razz just watches as Burb takes a ride on Red’s leg. ...... that looks fun!*  
*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Edge and Red both stand at different counters, working on their respective meals NOT talking or looking at each other.*  
Rus: Now.... you aren’t arguing, which is good! But it’s friendlier to help each other out!  
Edge: *Shit Red will never let him live this down he didn't wanna!!!!*  
Red: *Really scared, he didn't feel ready to die, though he figured it would of happened a lot sooner.*

SwapFall:  
Stretch: Dang, your room is immaculate compared to what mine used to be. *Admiring that there are no stains or condiment bottles, just a few trash bags and about 300 pairs of socks spread across the floor. His tornado was contained in it's own aquarium, and a separate aquarium for Momica was on the other side of the room.*  
Slim:..... Bro don't try comparing mine to whatever the hell you were slithering in.

Chit Chat:  
Burd: *Wants to peck the bandage wrapping Blue put around the toe.*  
Red: Don’t do it.  
Burb: Okay... *Gets mesmerized again and leans back towards the toe.*  
Red: I said don't do it.  
Burb: Okay.... *Process repeats twelve more times.*  
*Door slams open.*  
Rus: MASTER DOVE! I HAVE ARRIVED!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: .....do. You.... want. The. Shredded. Mozzarella?  
Edge: ..... yes.  
Rus: *Whispers.* Progress!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ...hey.  
Slim: Look, I didn't have the extra shit to track in, and besides, my spider could have been lost. And my room would have been torched.  
Stretch: *Is a little.... self conscious of how disgusting his room was.*

Chit Chat:  
*Razz freaks the hell out and jumps onto Red, burrowing inside his ribs. Not a single kitten was un fazed. Most hiding under the table.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge:.... could you..... umm mmm...  
Red: *Stiff as a board.*  
Edge:..... Pass. The. Whisk.  
Red:.... Sure.  
Rus: *Sockets sparkling at the amount of not yelling going on.*

SwapFell:  
Stretch: *Wanting to change subjects.* Soooo that's Monica’s home? Where's the spider?  
Slim: Oh! I’ll bring her out. *Shuts the bedroom door and shoves some cloth under the door crack.* Razz will slowly freak out more if I don't block off the door. He won't admit it though.  
Stretch: Uh-huh.

Razz: So what exactly should we do?  
Blue: Well, we need to decide how many cement squares we should make. One for each of your brothers?  
Razz: Don’t you want to make any for your own?

Chit Chat:  
Red: *Gasp.* Why.... Me....?  
Rus: Now, let us take a look at these instructions!  
Blue: *Is checking on hiding babies making sure they are all okay.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I wonder what kind of lasagna needs a whisk? I have never used one to make lasagna. Oh no Edge what are you doing???)

Fell Fluff:  
*Red wishes this to be over so hard.*  
Rus: *Pleased with himself.*

Swapfell:  
Slim: No really. He says he isn't scared of spiders, but he can hardly even stand 15 feet from one. *Monika is chilling on his hands.*  
Stretch: I’m more skeptical of the spider proofing.  
Slim: It’s for his piece of mind.

Blue: My father kept their dust. This is for you today. I also don't have enough concrete.  
Razz: .....ah.

Chit Chat:  
*Razz is shaking and mewing in Red’s ribs. Answering mews ring out.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Some lasagne recipes do use eggs, though idk why he would be neurotic enough to whisk them before adding them with the other ingredients. Then again this is Edge so XP)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(He would get a crazy aunt recipe for his lasagna)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(He totally would XP Well, the first person he learned cooking from was Undyne sooooo...)

Fell Fluff:  
*Edge currently has no idea why he said whisk when he needed a spoon, but he wasn’t going to back down now. Ferociously he throws the eggs and five types of cheeses into a bowl and starts whisking like crazy, even though it's too thick for a whisk. He will destroy the thing in his efforts if need be.*

SwapFell:  
Slim: Yeah, I know it doesn't do much but it makes him way calmer. Kind of hard to enjoy Monika’s company when he's radiating killing intent throughout half the building.

Razz: Well, I’m.... I mean, maybe start with....  
Blue: You don't need to be nervous. You’re just talking to me right now.  
Razz: R-right.... Well, I never met S1, S2, and S3. They died shortly after leaving suspension. I knew the others though.  
Blue: We could make smaller ones for the first three? Maybe some stars on their stones? The others can get more detailed.  
Razz: Y-yeah.... That sounds nice.

Chit Chat:  
Red: *Lifts his shirt revealing the cowering neko.* Not to ruin your hiding spot, but having you in there is VERY uncomfortable (and invasive). Please come out?  
Razz: *Slowly shifts into Red’s arm where he cuddles Razz protectively.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay just reread the last thing I wrote and I think either me or autocorrect had a stroke fbhgjk should be readable now lmao)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red almost gave a spoon, but was not going to ignore an order at a time like this.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: *Joking * So the spider has survived more than me?  
Slim: No, Monika doesn't actively piss him off. she can’t help it.

Razz: It’s..... weird, realizing just how high my odds of dying were. Slim was even more vulnerable.  
Blue: How about the next three?

Chit Chat:  
Razz: That-that was too loud. i didn't like it momma Red.  
Red: I don’t think they will do it again. you’re fine.  
Razz: *Hides in Red’s shoulder.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Struggling with the whisk.* Stupid whisk and stupid cheese and stupid brother and stupid back strokes and stupid stupid stuPID STUPID STUPID!  
Red: *Absolutely stock still waiting to be decapitated at any second.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: Heh, her legs tickle. *Letting Monika crawl all up his arm.*  
Slim: Told ya she’s an amazing lady.

Razz: S4 was the eldest survivor, so he was really the guinea pig testing lab procedures. He didn’t talk.... at all, though he definitely looked after his cell mates S5 and S6. He also stared off into nothing a lot.  
Blue: What about S5 and S6?  
Razz: S6 thought he was hot shit. *Nostalgic smirk.* He always had the explanations for how everything works. S5 stole a science book that talked about the planets and space, though we didn’t understand all that, just the pictures and the very brief explanation Gearson gave. He convinced everyone that Saturn’s rings were respawning donuts. S5 was his hype man.

Chit Chat:  
Red: Hey chumps! Anymore loud noises like that and I’ll kick all of your asses out of this house.  
Stretch: I’d like to see you hobble over and try.  
Razz: PSK! *How dare he insult mama Red!*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg. There's so much from the 27 to the 29 holy shit.)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Edge! Stupid is not a nice word!  
Red: Sorry Comic, enjoy the sexy times cuz your brother is dead.

Swapfell:  
Slim: Don’t let her in your skull, she likes that too much.  
Stretch: .... you let spiders....in your skull?

Razz: *Reminisces on old memories*  
Blue: We can do a heart and a saturn.... don't know about Six..... what about a little flame?

Chit Chat:  
Red: I have attack children, I am not afraid to use them.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I guess those days we weren’t too preoccupied and just replied faster lol. Trying to lay down and sleep but this guy doesn’t want me to. Dumb cat lol)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Pet him. Look at that face. Pet hiiiim

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Right when you sent that he got board XD)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Cats are so great. Full of personality.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(They are! They are my favorite animals they just wanna break all the expensive stuff and cuddle chggjkdfghj)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(They have the funniest reactions. And if you break routine. They Will let you know.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro I’m on staycation this week and they have no idea what to do with me being home. They just follow me around wondering why I’m still here lol)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Food provider and space heater is still here what has the world come to???)


	28. Craft Time Is Fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, a busy time for busy skeletons. Friendship lessons, F U N, Karens, and cops. Traps plays “hard mode” friendship.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(That’s been their attitude the last few days, or clawing at my back for attention fjfjdksn. Goodnight!)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Snarky* Oh, my apologies. I will stop trying to use filters in the future then. What I meant to say is f@&king whisk and f@&king cheese and f@&king brother-  
Rus: STOP!!!! THAT’S EVEN WORSE!!!!  
Red: Rus, just drop it will ya- *Edge’s attention turns onto Red.* Crap...

Swapfell:  
Slim: Well, it started with my old wolf spider, I let her hide in my dead socket, and she would come in and out quite often. Tarantulas like Monika like dark hiding spots since they are ambush predators, so it will take a while to get her out.  
Stretch: That.... that didn’t answer my question.

Razz: Mweh, that’s a good idea. I like that.  
Blue: We can plan out the other ones now too. What about some of the others?  
Razz: S7 and I butted heads a lot.... until my magic corrupted at least. I was foolish enough to think we could talk to the doctors and not have to kill. S7 knew better and blamed...... well, he was right about that.  
Blue: Uhhh-  
Razz: We can move onto S8. He definitely speculated the most on life outside the lab, he wondered where Gaster and the doctors went to at the end of the day. If they vanished into a void when they left, or if the long white corridors continued on indefinitely. All we knew was the Lab, so he always tried thinking in ways that he couldn’t comprehend. We all thought he was crazy... now, not so much....  
Blue: ......  
Razz: And where do I start with S9?

Chit Chat:  
*Stretch is kicked out of the bedroom by Rus.*  
Stretch: I was told I’m too much of a hazard to continue helping, so I was told to sit on the couch with you.  
Red: Greeeeeeat....  
Razz: PSK! Go away!  
Stretch: Now that’s just hurtful.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Cats are the best like that. So we have two strays and Tootsie was super skittish, like open the door and gone skittish. Now she will stay in 3 foot of us and dash by. I have been graced with nose boops and a side brush. I have gotten the most touches and it is a great feeling)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: You don't have room to talk either!  
Red: Okay Boss.  
Rus: ..... Edge. Try being nice or I’ll prescribe a hug.  
Edge: *About to throw down.*

Swapfell:  
Slim: It’s not like I had any friends besides my wolf spider. Most people would have either ignored me and leave me for the ones who wanted to make my brother hurt or worse. Very few would have looked out for me, cus that was Sans’s responsibility since he put the collar on.  
Stretch: .... as nice as this is.... spider plus socket happened? Like more than just an accident? Voluntarily had spider plus socket???

Blue: We can do .... a pattern for S7 then... maybe a flower or echo flower for S8.  
Razz: Maybe.... I think S9 was more ..... trusting than the others. He thought the doctors were all doing this for our own good. I think that hope kept him going but also ultimately is what ended him.

Chit Chat:  
*Stretch offers a hand to Razz, thinking to pet the smol one. Razz is about to show this joker another thing.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Kitties! Awww, you are slowly gaining Tootsie’s affection. It’s all worth it for them little nose bumps)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Just stares in stunned silence. Edge attacked Rus, and he just stood there and took the full damage. The slash made a massive diagonal tear in Rus’s sweater. He swallowed the pain and looked at Edge.*  
Rus: ..... do you feel better now?  
Edge: *Just staring unsure what to do. This behavior does not compute.*

Swapfell:  
Slim: The first time she did it, I didn’t expect it to happen. She just crawled in there and it tickled like crazy. Then I stored Webby in my dead socket whenever needed to keep her safe.  
Stretch: ..... so voluntary then?

Blue: Hmmmm.... doves generally represent hope. Perhaps a dove with open wings to represent S9?  
Razz: Yeah.... that sounds fitting. S10 was definitely on par with me activity level wise. He was competitive in any experiments, and if he didn’t get enough energy out he liked to try.... I guess playing would be the right word?

Chit Chat:  
Blue: Okay! Let’s get these parts moved to the bedroom and get the rest of it together! *Peaks out of the room seeing Stretch on the sofa, Razz clamped onto his arm with sharpened teeth, and Red giving the “I told you so” look.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(She screeches at us. I call her squeaky half the time. I once used lunch meat to see how close she would get, and now she yells at me for ham.)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: .... shit. I am so glad Comic is getting railed right now.  
Edge: *Irritated by pretty much everything*..... Sans. Don’t. Just fucking don't.

Swapfell:  
Slim: ...yes. Voluntary.  
Stretch: Did Razz ever check if there was a spider in there?  
Slim: I think he was too nervous to check.

Razz: I thought it was training, but now looking back, it was more like play. It wasn't encouraged, but it wasn't stopped either. Maybe a toy car for him.  
Blue : That would be adorable!

Chi Chat:  
Razz: Mmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  
Red: You are a damn idiot, Stretch.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Hammmmm!!!)

<https://i.gifer.com/7A6T.gif>

*****

Bookwyrm  
(She wouldn't get close enough for that, but my indoor cat Creampuff has done that)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I’ve caught mine doing it to my food too when I’m not looking djdnfk The universal cat theives)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Creampuff also steals lettuce)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Never heard of a cat going after lettuce before lmao. He’s a health conscious boy)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Feeling an odd mix of irritation and guilt. The fact that Rus didn’t defend himself just hammers it in more* .... Come with me, I’ll give you one of my shirts.....  
Red: *Just watching super carefully.*

Swapfell:  
Razz: I guess that just leaves Eleven and Twelve.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(She's a thick girl)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: .... I have a few shirts. They should mostly fit.  
Rus: I don’t blame you for striking out. It's just how you were taught to express emotions.  
Edge: *Doesn’t want to discuss it.*

Swapfell:  
Blue: Let’s see… the car for S10..... maybe a few words for the ones you knew most?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(CHONKY BABY! Look at that thiccccness XD)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Her and lettuce is just funny. Like, anytime I make blts, she is trying so hard to get a large lettuce piece)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(She wants the BIG piece because she’s a BIG girl dhhkjdd)  
(I’ll let you determine 10, 11, and 12’s personalities if you’d like)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god. Ok. So 10 was playful and energetic. 11 could be more introverted but loved his brothers dearly. 12 could have been a rascal)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I like it! Cute skele babies. Also, 11 looking up to Razz and following what he says)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Wowie, your claws really are sharp! This is a really clean cut down the fabric, like you did it with shears!  
*Stars.... Edge wasn’t getting out of this.*  
Edge: I..... *Sigh*....  
Rus: Yes?  
Edge: ...... I apologize for attacking you.... and ruining your shirt..... can we please move on from this? (And never bring it up again)

Swapfell:  
Slim: Okay Monika, meet your new roommate.  
*Sets the tiny spider into the aquarium, Monika sitting on the substrate.*  
Stretch: .... I don’t have a good feeling about this.

Razz: S10 was always pestering the younger ones, primarily S11, S12 and I. S11 was introverted and shy. He looked up to me especially, but he was definitely very clingy towards all of us. He listened to everything I said.  
Blue: He sounds sweet.  
Razz: S12 was a troublemaker, liked attention on himself and getting into mischief. He often earned the ire of all the scientists that worked with us.

Chit Chat:  
Blue: Wow, this is looking bigger then I expected.  
Dove: I got one like this since I figured they’d want to sleep close. More beds can be purchased as they grow!  
Blue: I don’t think more beds will fit in here....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: *SUPER HAPPY * Edge! You Apologized Without Being Asked!!!

SwapFell:  
Razz: S12 almost got our food rations revoked so many times! S11 was .... I would say sweet for an experient.  
Blue: that sounds so cute!

…….  
*Monika quickly eats the tiny spider. Stretch doesn’t know how to react.*

Chit Chat:  
Dove: you can figure that out later! For now this will be the cutest thing ever!

(FUCK IT ALL THE CHAPT I WAS ABOUT DONE WITH IS GONE)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Wait, how does that even happen???? Were you doing it on a word doc?)

Swapfell:  
Slim: *Gasp!* Bad Monika! No! We do not eat new friends!  
Stretch: Yeah.... that’s what I expected.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(No. Just on the AO3 page. Chrome crashed on me and it doesn't save  
Just learned that  
Fuck)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(AHHHHH that absolutely sucks! So everything is gone??

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Gotta recopy and redo it  
(The 27 to 29 had almost 90,000 characters. I'm gonna just do 27 to 28 to try and get it out)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(O.O thats fricking insane! Honestly I think we should just divide it by day just to keep chapter bulk down. That’s nuts djdnfk)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I was trying to keep story pieces together but yeah. Probably gonna switch to that)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Might as well at this point. We could label them as parts 1 and 2 if needed, though we’ve been linear after the third chapter)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Red! You won’t believe the progress that’s been made!  
Edge: Don’t call attention too it!  
Red: *Debating if he should sneak out and hide low at Underswap Muffet’s place.*

SwapFell:  
Blue: Things like sling shots and paper airplanes have always reminded me of rascally children..... Perhaps something nature themed for S11? Animals snuggling, or even leaves....  
Razz: I can write a little extra for them too....

Chit Chat:  
Dove: IT’S DONE!  
*The adults gape at the massive bunk bed castle with a slide, steps, enclosed lower bunk and some built in shelving.*  
Blue: .... How much did you pay for this thing????  
Dove: Doesn’t matter! Isn’t it nice having rich friends?!  
Blue: I feel like we shouldn’t have accepted this.  
Rus:* Fixing his drawn on wispy mustache with a compact mirror before closing it.* What are we waiting for! Let’s show the little ones!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: *Runs up and picks Red up, giving pets.* I AM SO PROUD OF YOU TWO!  
Red: *Low growls.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ..... I bet five honey bottles you won't put Monika in your socket and do a lap of the apartment.

Blue: Look! A little bear toy. I wonder who picked this figure up?  
Razz: The leaves would be nice. Stars too. The few books we had there was some surface nature books. They were for learning what environments we might have to deal with, but they were interesting.

Chit Chat:  
*Edge immediately claims it. Razz won't let Stretch out of his sight though.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Oh dang we forgot about the chocolates XP maybe we can have the Horrors visit the Fells and the Fells help make it while trying NOT to be weird while everyone else is having fun)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
SwapFell:  
Slim: First off, stop trying to push your honey off on me. Second, That is animal abuse! She could easily get crushed in a sock! And Razz will chase me down with his flamethrower. He needs to avoid unnecessary stress too.  
Stretch: Alright, alright. But maybe there is another spider we could visit? One that make food?

Razz: So what do I do with the glass shards exactly?  
Blue: This is one of the things we use to create the shapes. We can start with S1 through S3 first since their designs will be simplest. I’ll show you how.

Chit Chat:  
*Burb crawls up to perch on the tallest tower, using his wings to help him balance. Slim yawns and curls into the corner of the bottom bunk. Comic is eyeing the slide curiously, only for Edge to push him down it.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Thoughts?)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The gnomes are cute, and the bulbs are adorable too! They look like bowling balls djdnfk. Oh! What if you used glow in the dark or metalic/sparkly paint in the bulbs? That could look very cool too)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Swapfell:  
Slim: I wouldn't take Monika places in my sockets anyway. I guess we could check up on Muffet.... this one won't let you tab though.  
Stretch: Dammit!

Razz: ...... did I do it?  
Blue: that looks good! I wonder how long concrete takes to set?  
Razz: it will take a while. You didn't get fast setting.  
Blue: Did you read the instructions?  
Razz: No, I once used concrete to punish some people.

Chit Chat:  
*Comic ragdolls at the bottom of the slide. As good a place as any to sleep.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I also just realized the word count to our conversation fic has exceeded the word count of Heavy Rain, and there is soooooo much still to add fjfbdidj)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude. DUDE. That’s because we are actively pushing each other and there's no plot here, just wonderful spontaneity)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Just like life zfghjkgvd it’s the slice of life AU story where we pull crap out of thin air or even revisit passing tiny things that happen. It’s amazing)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Its everything my fangirl heart could want)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Older Bro Chat:  
-Sharknado: Axe, I need help!  
-TurkeyJerky: What up?  
-Sharknado: Rus is making me and my bro do these dumb bonding friendship exercises and my brother has almost killed him already.  
-TurkeyJerky: What do you want me to do about it?  
-Sharknado: Anything.  
-TurkeyJerky: Hmmmmm... My bro and I got some cool things at the craft store a while back. Be there in ten.

Swapfell:  
Razz: I don’t think we can use these moulds multiple times, they are pretty flimsy.  
Blue: Shoot. That was the original plan.  
Slim: Stretch and I are heading to Muffets.  
Razz: Can you port over to the craft store and grab six small concrete pouring kits. Or at least some 8”x8” moulds?  
Stretch: Why not. What could possibly go wrong?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Sleepover at Fell:  
*Red answers the door to Traps holding lots of chocolate mold kits. And sprinkles.*  
Red: ...uh-  
Axe: Where’s the kitchen?

Swapfell:  
*The same lady from a couple weeks ago is at the craft store. She is ready to deliver an anti monster speech.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Stretch: ..... we’re still in Swapfell right?  
Slim: Yep.  
Stretch: Huh.  
Slim: Any idea where the mould kits are?  
Stretch: Nope.  
Crazy Lady: You heavens need to leave now or I will spite you with the power of Christ!  
Slim: .... huh?  
*Crazy Lady throws “holy water” at both of them and starts waving a Bible (this version is a bible humping flat Earther)*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Its the same lady, just this universes version. This one is a Bible thumper flat earther, the other is an anti vaxxer and gluten nut)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Yessssssss. The Undertale version is actually reasonable cgbvfsfgh)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Slim: .... lady. I don't want your weird water. I took a shower today already.  
Stretch: ... do you think I can use my card here or do you think that I'd accidentally use someone else's account in this universe?  
Slim: I don’t know man.  
Crazy Lady: YOU NEED TO BE TOSSED OUT YOU DEMONS!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: *Rushes downstairs. Was that the machine that went off?*  
Axe: Yo.  
Traps: Greetings! Can we stay for a while! We brought chocolates!

SwapFell:  
Slim: ... we can just put the charge on mine.  
Crazy Lady: DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN SMITE THESE DEVILS!!!  
Manager: *Finally races up.* What is going on here?  
Stretch: We-  
Crazy Lady: THESE SAVAGES ATTACKED ME!!! THEY NEED TO BE THROWN OUT!!!  
Manager: *Looks at them suspiciously.*  
Stretch: Honestly, we took ten steps in and this woman started throwing weird water on us and screaming prayers.  
Slim: Check the security camera if you don’t believe us. *Points up at the camera above the door.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg. We. Are. AT BIRDTALE IN THE FIC.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(YESSSSSSS WE MAKING PROGRESS!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Rus: I HOPE SO! I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE BONDING TIME WITH YOU ALL!  
Edge: *Can hear the headache coming.*  
Traps: EDGE, DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH CHOCOLATE???

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ... Hey lady, that’s tap water right? Nothing gross or weird right?  
Slim: Is this a fetish?  
Crazy Lady: *Fuming mad!*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: ... no.  
Axe: Don’t worry pal, neither do we. Figured we could all use a little more learning in our lives. *Winks at Edge knowingly.*

Swapfell:  
Manager: *Returns after reviewing the cameras, face stoic.*  
Slim: Get ready to make a trip across town. Businesses are a lot less... accepting here.  
Manager: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave.  
Crazy Lady: WHAT?!  
Slim: Really????

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: .... *didn't recognize the wink as horror only has a single light *.... alright then... *Finishes his lasagna.*  
Red: .... I think we have enough-  
Rus: Red! Don't forget to finish your dish!  
Red: *.....dammit.*

Swapfell:  
Manager: I don’t want to get caught in a lawsuit or whatever for the possibility that the water is poisoned or something.  
Crazy Lady: THIS IS THE LORD’S WATER! HOW DARE YOU!  
Manager: Then you can return it to where it belongs. Not in a craft store.  
Slim: *Extremely shocked.*  
Stretch: *Is confused why Slim is shocked.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: What happened to your poor whisk???? It’s looks destroyed! I didn’t know you could bend it that way.  
Edge: .......

SwapFell:  
Slim: *Watches with his mouth gaping open as the woman tries to beat them with her Bible, only for the manager to hold her down while another employee calls the police.*  
Stretch: *Started filming as soon as the woman got angry with the manager.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Edge: It was an inferior whisk and it deserved it.... *Actually liked that whisk.... *  
Traps: Oh! That makes sense!

Swapfell:  
Slim: Oh no. Let's hope it's Alphys that shows up....  
Stretch: Why?  
Slim: Racism. I don't want to risk being tazed with that amount of intent.  
Stretch: What?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: *Reading instructions.* So we need to melt the chocolates over a low heat. Don’t let it get too hot without stirring, or it will burn to the pot.  
Rus: *Already has chocolate over highest heat.* What was that?

Swapfell:  
Slim: Just keep quiet and stay behind me, you only have one HP, so I don’t want you getting tazed and dying.  
Stretch: Seriously, the fuck????  
*Police sirens approach, Slim sends a quick text to his bro that the cops were showing up, and Stretch continues recording. The car pulls up.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: Turn down the heat! The chocolate is delicate!  
Rus: But how will we sear the passion in?  
Traps: The decorative part maybe?

Swapfell:  
Razz: .... dammit! Blue we need to leave for the craft store now! Gotta back those two up. Especially your brother with the one HP.  
Blue: What?!?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: Give me that! *Yanks the pot off the stove and the spoon from Rus.* Go get the sprinkles ready.

Swapfell:  
Razz: I’ll explain in the car now let’s go!!!! *Drags Blue and throws him into the passenger seat.*  
Razz: It’s a seven minute drive going the speed limit.  
Blue: ..... Please don’t speed-  
Razz: *Hits the gas.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Rus and Traps respectfully wait for Edge to treat the chocolate right.*  
*Red and Axe are sitting on stools to be comfortably high enough at the kitchen island (something Edge would have probably insisted on)*

Swapfell:  
Blue: Razz! You know better than to break the laws! Parking lots are the only place to do fancy stuff!  
Razz: Crazy lady at craft store, possible racist cops could potentially kill Stretch.  
Blue: FLOOR IT.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Glad ya could make it.  
Axe: We weren’t busy. Though I’d like ta know why ya and your brother was having a slumber party with the Fruit Cake?  
Red: Don’t.

Swapfell:  
*Two officers step out of the patrol car, Stretch actually starting to get nervous thanks to the tension Slim was showing. One officer was a human male, the other one was around Razz’s height with spikes yellow horns.*  
Slim: Oh thank the Angel.  
Crazy Lady: ANGELS WILL SLAY ALL DEMONS LIKE YOU!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: I am showing them Tale friendship lessons! I know, it is incredibly generous of me!  
Axe: .... so you’re teaching them your culture. Are you learning theirs in return?

Swapfell:  
Slim: Alphys is here, there's not a large chance of dying.  
Stretch: What?!?  
Slim: I'll text Sans to tell him Alphys is here.  
*Alphys looks already done with this lady's shit.*

Razz: *Is still flooring it, doesn't pause to check his phone, only tosses it to Blue.* Tell me what it says!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Well, today’s lessons are about Taleverse friendship.  
Axe: Have you even planned a time to learn Fellverse culture?  
Rus: Ummm, no....  
Axe: That doesn’t seem very open minded, or a very Taleverse way to go about things. Then again, what do I know, I’m the Sans with brain damage.  
Rus: ...... stars, how stubborn and closed minded of me.

SwapFell:  
Crazy Lady: YOU SENT A DEMON TO HELP THESE OTHER UNDEAD?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!!  
*Alphys comes over to speak with Slim, while the human cop went to speak to the manager and check the security cameras.*  
Slim: I can’t believe our luck, you don’t know how happy I am that it was you who came.  
Alphys: Heh, the department has decided to keep me on standby for any monster related calls. Trying to keep complaints of anti-monster interactions to a minimum. Thankfully I wasn’t attending to any other calls when yours came in. So what’s going on here?  
Stretch: Crazy Lady started screaming at us and calling us demons when we entered, threw her weird fetish water in our faces and waved her Bible around. Ya know, the usual.  
Alphys: ..... I didn’t know you had a twin Slim.  
*Everyone turns to the parking lot when they hear loud tire screeching. Razz literally pulls a hard turn and Tokyo Drifts down a section of the parking lot, stopping on a dime right in the closest not handicap parking space.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red just watches in disbelief as Axe pretty much just .... manages? Something Red doesn't have a word for. Whatever it is, Red can hardly believe how easy it was to get Rus to accept something.*  
Axe: As long as you learn, it’s okay.  
Rus: Wowie. Maybe more people should get brain damage!  
Axe: Yeah..... no.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Promptly gets out and bee lines for Slim, Blue following.* Papyrus! Everything handled? Everything alright?  
Blue: *Relaxes some with Stretch clearly not dead.*  
Alphys: .... When did Sans get a happy twin too?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Rus turns to his Fell counterparts.*  
Rus: I am so sorry I forced my methods on you, without even thinking of learning your ways in return. Can you forgive me?  
Edge: ..... only if we can have Fellverse friendship lessons.

Swapfell:  
Alphys: And before I forget. * Writes up a ticket and gives it directly to Razz.* Those moves were sick, but a semi-busy parking lot is no place for that shit.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Of course! Could you tell me about what you do in a Fell friendship?  
Red: *to Axe.* How da hell did you just... do that???  
Axe: Lived through a culture change.

Swapfell:  
Razz: ..... fine. *Takes the ticket.* So what’s with the human?  
Blue: Hi! It’s nice to meet you! I'm called Blue! That's my brother, Stretch!  
Alphys: *Looks at him like 'what the fuck kinda sugar cereal is he made of?'*.... right. Well, so far it looks like the lady just came up and screamed and threw water at Papyrus and this Stretch guy. Sans, who the fuck are these two?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: ...... hmmmm, very well. So to begin with, there are no hugs or physical contact. At best you can trust them not to dust you, and maybe be comfortable enough to be drunk in the same room.  
Rus: S-so, how do you do bonding?  
Edge:....

Swapfell:  
Razz: I doubt you’d believe me if I told you.  
Alphys: Try me.  
Razz: Basically, years ago Slim took me into one of his shortcuts, but he accidentally took us into a separate universe. From there we discovered that there are an infinite number of universes, and the others figured out a way to travel between them, and I stayed the hell away from all of that until recently. He’s me from a bubblegum happy universe.  
Alphys: ..... you’re right, I don’t believe you.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: By sometimes fighting alongside someone? Not stabbing them in the back? Occasionally, if you are very close, looking out for their interests. Close friends allow you to recover from wounds in their house.  
Rus: ...... um. How can I do those things then?  
Edge: Wait for an injury to force me to allow it?  
Rus: .....  
Red: We have been .... really really extra, trying for the Tale way.

Swapfell:  
Blue: Razz, does your Alphys also wield axes? Has your Undyne accepted to be her date mate yet? *Giddy excitement.* Oh my God! Have you had a wedding yet!?!  
Alphys: *Steps away from the sugar skull* ..... ok. I might need more proof.  
Blue: *Star sockets, turns to Razz.* Does this mean we finally get to meet your universe's monsters? I know you and Red and Edge don't exactly like us going around your universes, saying it is dangerous and stuff.  
Slim: .... Blue, that's because the Underground was dangerous....  
Blue: I still would like to meet them! My Alphys is my best friend at home!  
Razz: *WISHES BLUE WOULD STOP BLABBING PLZ IT’S EMBARRASSING *

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: *Watching the whole interaction and really wanting to help. He’s standing next to Edge.* *GASP!* I know how to help! *Summons a very heavy bone and swings it at Edge’s knee with all his strength.*  
*CRACK!*  
Edge: FUUUUUUUCK!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU CROOKED TOOTHED ZOMBIE EXCREMENT?!?! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK!!!  
Traps: You said Rus needed to wait to do the Fellverse friendship lesson, until you were sick or wounded! Now your knee is broken!  
Edge: I KNOW THAT!!!  
Red: .... I think he snapped your shin too. That is not supposed to bend that way-  
Edge: SHUT UP SANS! *Tries limping to the couch.*  
Rus: .... *GASP!!!* Now is my chance!

Swapfell:  
Alphys: Well, I guess I COULD introduce you to Undyne after work. I’m surprised you haven’t visited Muffet’s yet.  
Slim: Yeah, that’s on the to do list.  
Alphys: Have you contacted Toriel recently? She’s been worried about you.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: *Facepalms * .... bro, that's not exactly.... nevermind.  
Edge: IF YOU WERE ANYONE ELSE I'D KILL YOU TRAPS.  
Red: Hold on Boss, I have to set it. *Gets a piece of leather from a side table.* Bite down, you know the drill.  
Traps: I can finish the lasagna for you Edge!  
Rus: I Am All Ready To Be A House Nurse Edge!

Swapfell:  
Razz: I'm fine! I don't need to be looked after!  
Blue: *GASP!* Razz, your queen Toriel is missing you! You have to go!  
Razz: Blue, we need to take care of-  
Blue: Is she as regal as mine?!? Papy! You aren't dressed up enough for royalty!  
Alphys: ...... wait. Which Papyrus?  
Blue: Mine! I wouldn't call the other Papyruses Papy because that's my nickname for my brother!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: ..... lucky me.  
Red: Do you think you can get your pants off?  
Rus: I can help you get them off!  
Edge: NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!

Swapfell:  
Blue: There's a Target across the street! We are stopping there right now! I can’t have you meeting royalty looking like trash!!! You two can get the concrete kits! LET’S GO!  
Razz: Blue no-  
Stretch: Sans wait-  
*He was already getting dragged across the street.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Boss, you know what happens. I'm probably going to have to cut the pants off later, for now I can just cut most of the leg part off to get to the break.  
Edge: Dammit I liked these ones!

Swapfell:  
Alphys: HEY SHORT STACK! YOU GUYS CAN'T LEAVE YET! I HAVE TO AT LEAST TAKE A STATEMENT!

*****  
HomeHawk  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red cuts off the lower section of the pant leg midway up Edge’s femur. Edge is sitting with his arms crossed mumbling profanities.*  
Rus: I brought pillows! Sit up a bit so I can make you more comfortable!  
Edge: we aren’t talking right now!  
*Red snips the last bit of fabric, peeling it back to reveal the damage. His patella is cracked three ways and pushed deep into his knee joint, with a splintered buckle fracture on the upper part of his tibia, the lower section of bone twisted 60 degrees the wrong way.*  
Red: Yeesh... that’s a bad one.  
Edge: What?  
Red: I don’t know how he knocked your patella that deep..... like how the hell am I fishing that out....  
Rus: *Looks over Red’s shoulder, turning a bit green at the sight. It’s disgusting.* Should we.... take him to a doctor maybe?

Swapfell;  
Razz: .... give him seven minutes and he’ll come back. Blue is in one of those moods again. Shouldn’t take him too long. Slim, go ahead and give her your statement. I’ll get the concrete kits.  
Slim: You’re really okay to meet with Toriel?  
Razz: Not really, but I doubt Blue will shut up about it until we do.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: .... well. Our doctors are rare and expensive. A bit hard to go for a formal degree if you aren't under someone's protection and coin. Better on the surface but still expensive. Can't universe hop for it, cuz of paper trails. This is just going to be tough on both of us, the time it’s going to take to piece him back together. Lucky we aren't fleshy monsters. One sec, gotta get my tools, need the forceps definitely.  
Rus: .... this is sort of like a puzzle!  
Edge: Next time you can be the board then. At least we got a new leather strip to bite.  
Rus: Why the leather?  
Edge: I would rather keep my teeth when he starts.  
Rus: .... do you not have... painkillers?  
Edge: That’s a controlled substance.  
Traps: *From the kitchen.* Edge! How do you layer your lasagna?

Swapfell:  
Alphys: ..... Sans, that guy is going to end up getting hurt.  
Razz: Look, I didn't realize I'd be taking him far into the universe. I thought he'd just be at my apartment. We usually head over to the Tale universes. They are too sugary for here. They take turns to fight! And offer healing to Everyone. Don't even get me started on Red and Comic’s universes.  
Alphys: .... there's more?!?  
Razz: That’s what I thought!  
Slim: I've been hanging out with Red and Edge, they have a universe similar to us.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red tosses a wash cloth and cleaner to Rus.*  
Red: Wipe off the coffee table. I’m gonna need to take his patella parts out, and I’d rather they not get infected.  
Rus: ... s-sure.  
Axe: *Steps into the living room getting a look at the fracture.* Christ Traps! Did you need to hit him that hard? It don’t even look like a knee anymore.... yeesh.  
Rus: Oh! I have something we could use for pain! It’s at..... my house. *Really not wanting to go back there..... but it’s for Edge....*

Swapfell:  
Alphys: Good to know they aren’t all pussies.  
Razz: If they aren’t back in ten I’ll go look for them. Just hurry up with your interview. *Walks further into the store ignoring the crazy lady’s continued screams. He was thinking it would be around the floral section.... or something.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Rus braves his house, quickly ignoring the two blissfully cuddling monsters on his couch and gets to his stash of monster candy.*

Axe: ... Edge, you need anything? Traps probably forgot his own strength in his quest for friendship. *Looks back the the kitchen.* Between us..... pretty sure our universe screwed with both our minds.  
Edge: I understand. That’s why neither of us has dusted him for the attack. I have standards.  
Red: *Looking up pictures of patella*... I can probably just use Rus as a template to piece it back together....

Swapfell:  
*It was not in floral. It was on the exact opposite corner to the floral section.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Rus jumps back into the Fellverse after accidentally getting a look at Toriel’s fluffy butt without any clothes, currently wondering if mind bleaching is a thing here.*  
Traps: Hello again Rus! Did you find what you needed?  
Rus: I think so. It won’t make all the pain go away, but it should take the ....edge off.... nyehehe.  
Traps: You should hurry, Red looked like he was starting pretty soon.

Swapfell:  
*Razz managed to find seven small kits surprisingly enough, taking all of them and heading to check out. He carries them to the check out, seeing Blue had returned, and he had forced Stretch into something.... dress casual.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: K. Now that Creampuff there has the no pain shit, we can start. Rus, hold him down in case it's too much for the candy to stop from feeling.

Swapfell:  
*Stretch has nice slacks and a semi formal shirt.*  
Blue: I don't want to catch a single one of those puns in front of Toriel! You're lucky they take G here!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: ... don’t you dare make this awkward.  
Rus: R-right.... *Puts both hands on Edge’s shoulders and presses down. Edge bites on the leather and closes his sockets while Red starts picking parts of the patella out with his tweezers. He stuck a towel under Edge’s leg to collect any bone fragments or marrow that falls.*  
Rus: How do you feel Edgy-me?  
Edge: .... fine. *Currently sounding calm and collected through gritted teeth.*

Swapfell:  
Blue: Good news Razz! That crazy lady is going to jail.  
Razz: Really? You guys let Slim press charges?  
Alphys: Actually, the manager is pressing charges, seeing as she gave him a black eye with her Bible.  
Slim: So.... we are really going to Toriel’s house.... right now?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Kay boss, got a real stuck one here.  
Edge: Noted. *Winces as Red has to really pull the fragment out of the bone.*  
Rus: I’m sure it will heal up just fine!  
Edge: Rus, that's not exactly helping. You need to distract, not bring attention to the wound.  
Axe: How about you tell him about your Underground? Maybe what you did with yer fish bitch, Undick. I know you have a lot of stories.  
Rus: I can do that! I am the best at story telling!

Swapfell:  
Razz: If the queen has been wishing for our presence, yes. We need to introduce the other universes if they are going to be around more.  
Alphys: Yeah, she's been talking about you and that case more often.  
Blue: what case?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: And that was the fifth time we caught her house on fire during cooking lessons! She slept on my couch for two weeks! There were lots of noogies....  
Axe: .... sounds familiar.  
Edge: Grrrrrrr... *Hard wince. Red has to pull the shattered tibia away from the femur to dig out a sliver lodged in the crack.*  
Rus: Uhhhh... Oh! Axe? Do you have any stories?  
Axe: Nothing that isn’t depressing. Though I’m pretty good at telling.... horror stories. *Shit eating grin.*

Swapfell:  
Alphys: The court case against the Police.  
Blue: Why is she suing the police department-  
Razz: Later. *Side glances the human officer and employees. It doesn’t look like they heard him.*  
Alphys: Yeah, it’s not something I’m supposed to talk about either, but she has been bringing it up.  
Blue: ....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: That’s fine.  
Axe: Wanna hear how I got my crack?  
Edge: Sure.  
Axe: Me too. HEY BRO? You about done? They need your story skills!  
Traps: One minute!  
Axe: I forget the details all the time. He's the one who remembers better. I can tell ya about this one human that fell once, was some sorta gymnast. Kept using the trees to evade the traps. Paps put water on the branches to have them slip and break their spine.

Swapfell:  
Razz: If that's all, we can finish up and head over to the Queen. We have the craft supplies now.  
Blue: Will you tell me later Razz?  
Alphys: Razz is a fucking weird name.  
Razz: I didn't choose it!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(“Wanna hear how I got my crack? Me too!” XD That got a good laugh from me fhjhfdds I honestly have no clue how he canonically got his crack. I think Undyne screwed up Traps teeth???)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: That is actually- *Wince*... very clever. I don’t recall any humans before Frisk.  
Axe: This one was after. We’ve had a couple more since then. This girl was really petite though. Not a lot of meat from her.  
Traps: I’m done! What did you need me to do brother?  
Axe: Tell them how I got my crack. I don’t remember.

Swapfell:  
Alphys: I’ll bite, why did you guys call him Razz?  
Blue: So, a few years ago the Fells, other scary alternates, introduced us to Slim, your Papyrus!  
Slim: *Nods in agreement.*  
Blue: We knew he had a brother, even if he wanted nothing to do with us, so we decided to bestow him with a nickname!  
Alphys: And why Razz exactly?  
Razz: Please don’t-  
Blue: Well, everyone thought I was round and cute, and my magic a similar shade to a blueberry, so they call me Blue to shorten it.  
Alphys: Pffft! I like this already.  
Razz: We are done here-  
Blue: All we knew about Razz was that he was all grouchy and sour, so we called him Raspberry!  
Razz:.....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh yeah, Empress Undick attacked the two at the castle, screwing up Pap’s teeth and shoved a spear through Sans’s skull, I believe over food shortages or some other issue. She doesn't send provisions to Snowdin so they took to eating any human, as Frisk took the souls and left. Friction! I believe that's a good short explanation)

Fell Fluff:  
Traps: Ah, well. Our Undyne took the throne after Frisk killed King Asgore, and once the famine really hit.... let's say she didn't ... exactly make the best choices? She, um…. shoved a spear through Sans’s skull and attacked me, which is why my teeth are so....... how they are? She was really stressed. It’s not easy ascending the throne and having to deal with The Core failing and food shortages.  
Axe: Oh yeeeeah. I kinda remember that.....  
Rus: *Is very worried for those two.*  
Edge: Huh that's- dammit Sans! That hurt!- a worthy story. Food shortages are no joke.

Swapfell:  
Alphys: *Has been laughing five minutes straight.*  
Razz: Laugh it all out you overgrown lizard! I didn't choose it, and I wasn't consulted before it stuck!  
Alphys: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Razz: I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE YOUR NICKNAME IS JUST AS BAD!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay I gotta share the link to this story. The only reason I know that Undyne hurt Papyrus’s mouth, but it doesn’t include Sans’s head crack so it’s a different interpretation lol. Warning it makes me wince)

<https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12558093/1/Thirty-two>  
  
Fell Fluff:

Red: Hey, I’m gonna start picking the bone splinters off of the break before I set it.  
Edge: Fine, just get it- AH! Don’t peel it like that!  
Traps: Hmmmm.... Oh! Do you have any stories to share Edge???

Swapfell:  
Razz: Why did you choose Raspberry of all berries?! You could have picked blackberry and I could have gone by Black!  
Stretch: Bro, don’t you know the human history with racism? We weren’t taking that risk.  
Razz: YOU ACTUALLY CONSIDERED IT!?!?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: I can't fucking think while I'm being picked apart!  
Axe: Um. How about more human hunting stories?  
Edge: Yes please. You could write a book on those.  
Axe: There was a lady who kept screaming about how her husband was going to end us all.

Swapfell:  
Razz: I don’t give a shit about human racism! It’s stupid! Black is much more dignified than Razz!  
Slim: Grape was in the running too.  
Razz: FUCKING WHY???

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: Heh, Traps didn’t find out about this till later, but her husband actually did fall Underground, they were climbers exploring parts of the mountain apparently, and I hadn’t cut her body up yet. So I hung her in a tree, just enough so it would be silhouetted by the light seen from the trail. So he was walking around and calling her name, finally spotting a hanging body.  
Rus: *Really doesn’t like where this is going.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: Actually, we did consider Jason or Hannibal because your bro said you loved horror films..... but it wasn’t nearly as good as Grape or Raspberry- hey don’t just leave us here.  
Razz: YOU ARE ALL DISGUSTING AND CAN WALK TO TORIEL’S HOUSE! I AM LEAVING!!!!  
Alphys: Bye Raspberry~  
Razz: FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: *Chuckling.* This fucking guy! He didn't see the rope at first! He -heh- he hugged her! And THEN realized I had cut her throat already!  
Rus: *Maybe a bit ..... grossed out.* that’s.... something.  
Traps: I was there! The guy was very startled and apparently was upset. I can see why. Sans didn't hang her right to drain the blood out nor put something to catch that blood!  
Rus: *Wants to say something but ..... can't figure out a nice way to say the man wasn't upset by that part .....*  
Edge: That is actually a bit funny.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Slams his car door.*  
Slim: I would get in the car before he starts it. *Already on his way to the car.*  
Alphys: Ha! He actually found some softy friends!  
Blue: Bye violent Alphys! I hope to see you again!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Maybe he was upset because you killed a person he loved deeply?  
Traps: I don’t think I follow.  
Rus: I mean, I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I ever came upon my brother’s dust, not expecting such a thing. I’m sure I would want to dust from grief....  
Axe: Ya see, ever since my head wound, I have a hard time empathizing.  
Rus: But-  
Red: Good news. I pulled all the patella bits and splinter outs. *The pieces were laid neatly on the coffee table.* Bad news is, it’s time to set this thing, and it’s gonna be a hard set. I’ll need some help.  
Edge: Lovely.....

Swapfell:  
Alphys: I’ll text Pap about you guys meeting my girlfriend!  
*Blue and Stretch are barely seated in the car and still have the doors open when Razz speeds off.*  
Stretch: Watch it! You could have hurt us.  
Razz: I TOLD YOU TO WALK! *Is honestly too distracted by Alphys’ words to put real bile behind it. She said ‘friends,’ he hadn’t thought of them with that word..... he’s not really sure they fit his definition.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: .... at least we have three puzzle masters? Call it bonding. Piecing together a patella together.  
Axe: Cool. I'll plate food while you do that, I think the lasagna is ‘bout done.  
Red: I got some bone glue in the cabinet. I'll see if I can find more forceps.

Swapfell:  
*... Razz doesn't even know what he defines as a friend.*  
Slim: *Got shotgun.* Hey... how's the memorials coming along?  
Razz: We have most of them planned out.  
Slim: Will you tell me about them?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Alright Rus, you and Traps swap places. *Came back with the bone glue and was looking at Edge’s peeled femur. It was missing long splintered sections and whole chunks between that and the rest to the bone. The main pieces could slide together if played with enough.*  
Rus: Why?  
Red: I think Traps will be able to hold him down better. Plus, I need you to keep his leg from kicking.  
Edge: Stop talking like I’m a baby!  
Red: ....

Swapfell:  
Razz: ....yeah. I can tell you.  
Blue: We are getting out of the city?  
Razz: Toriel and Asgore live in a country house.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: I would appreciate the precision he's doing if he was putting my bones back together.  
Edge: *Huff.* I suppose.  
Red: Rus. Ya have to hold it steady even if he jerks it.  
Rus: Okay. I understand.

Swapfell:  
Slim: They really like having a few neighbors, not too many. Easier for Chara to have a smaller school and a large yard.  
Blue: My queen has a suburb home. And Asgore has yet to reconnect. *Faint blush.*  
Razz: .....  
Slim: Hey Blue? Do you have a crush on your queen?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: *Put a solid piece of wood under Edge’s leg.* Alright, on the count of three.  
Edge: You never do it on three!  
Red: FOUR! *Yanks the femur out of his magic matrix, twist it and slides it in place, jagged sections grinding against each other.*

Swapfell:  
Blue: N-no! Of course not! I-I mean, she would never go for a skeleton like me I’m sure...  
Slim: *Looks to his brother then back at Blue.* You might be surprised.  
Blue: Papy is the one that had the regular contact with her anyway.  
Stretch: The thought of being in her presence made him nervous.  
Blue: It did not!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: FUCK! HELL! DAAAAAAMMIT!!!!!  
Traps: *Easily keeps Edge in place.* Wowie, that's a decent struggle Edge!  
Rus: *Barely kept Edge down, not expecting Red’s count.* I think the worst is over Edge!  
Red: Nope. The worst part will be keeping him on the couch while the glue sets. It takes 72 hours to completely set.  
Edge: It will hold enough at 48 that I can walk a little!  
Rus: ... how often have you done this?

Swapfell:  
Stretch: .... she has been looking at you with a thoughtful look lately.  
Blue: Really?!?  
Razz: I serve my queen with the utmost loyalty and dedication she could ever want. *Proud of himself.*  
Blue: Wow Razz, that's impressive!  
Razz: I was the best captain she could ever want! I guarded her from any threat and policed the Underground. Kept her safe from discomfort and disloyalty!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(After hearing about Sanses from the other Toriels, his own is now curious about him cfgjkgds)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: Alright, the board is tied and should keep him together till I dig up that brace.... or buy a new one. I couldn’t find the damn thing. Just make sure he doesn’t get up Traps.  
Traps: On it!  
Edge: I accidentally snapped the last brace, remember?  
Red: Oh yeah. Anyway, Rus can go ahead and start putting the patella back together, actually some of the tibia bone fragments might be salvageable. I gotta run to a drug store.  
Rus: That much I can do!

Swapfell:  
Slim: It’s how he learned big chairs aren’t trustworthy.  
Stretch: Weren’t you the Judge, Slim?  
Slim: Yep, though we usually didn’t overlap much when working with her.  
Razz: There’s the house.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Swap Tori has heard too many stories from Fell Tori, and she saw the fact that Red was setting up Tale Tori with Comic. She's a free woman who is allowed to wonder)

Axe: Here, food time. *Has lasagna plated for everyone*  
Edge: *Can’t eat too much or it could come back up from the pain and shit.* Sadly, I will have to wait until my brother is back and my leg is as good as it will get.  
Rus: I am impressed with the quality of first aid you two have.  
Edge: .... first aid? No Rus, this is treatment. Not only are healers rare and expensive, almost none have knowledge on skeletons, much less us in general. My brother had a hand in my creation. He knows at least a bit of how to fix me up.  
Axe: The Lab days are hard for me to keep in my skull, very few bits left of that. Hey Rus, I think the piece there will fit with the one over there.  
Edge: yes well. .... we had to find ways to fix ourselves up anyway. Couldn't rely on just anyone, and couldn't just rest up usually either.

Swapfell:  
Razz: I was a more .... out in the field and check in job than he was. I had to keep the population under control and keep gangs down. I would check whatever my queen sent me to do.  
Slim: He was a very thorough captain.  
Stretch: .....um oookay. *Stretch took that wrong.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P. Creampuff. Bestest chonk baby.


	29. SwapFell Tea Time and UnderFell Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen Toriel is a powerful woman in any verse. Angst Alert! Sleepover at the Fells! UT Soriel kid scare. Washing Machines are abused.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Swap Tori wants to see Blue’s ”special bone.”)(Oh god Swapfell Toriel realizing Blue actually has a crush and being all bashful, the romantic behavior that Razz was so oblivious too)

Fell Fluff:  
Trap: Wowie, I can't believe how high your pain tolerance is! How many times have you broken your leg anyway?  
Edge: More than I can remember.  
Rus: So what happens when Red gets hurt?  
Edge: .... It didn’t happen to him nearly as often, but on the rare occasions I would have to do it. I was never as good at it, but I’ve pieced him together before.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Has no idea what Stretch is thinking. Slim is giving Stretch a ‘don’t you dare’ look.* Okay everyone! Straighten up and prepare yourselves. You are not allowed to be slobs in front of my Queen.  
Blue: I’m so excited to meet royalty!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Blue has dat crush for his queen, Razz crushes for his queen.... her enemies that is. And back pain.) (SF Tori could hold this over US Tori. Also I love the idea that the only ones Razz would want to tell of the alt universes would be his queen and maybe Asgore)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: *back from the store.* That’s why I'm missing a shard of my right shoulder joint. And a few of my spinous processes. Not exactly great but I lived with a smaller HP than most. It happens.  
Edge: You’re lucky I found all of the bits of pelvis that one time. It was not a great time.  
Rus: *Is not exactly thrilled to know his friends with so beat up.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ... bro you meet royalty all the time.  
Blue: Not new ones!  
Razz: .... alright. Don’t embarrass me.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(He’s not happy he had to tell Alphys, but this info may be vital for the safety of all monsters)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: .... okay! I think I got the patella all together!  
Edge: Finally.  
Traps: We couldn’t get all the pieces to fit back on your tibia. Sorry.  
Edge: The missing internal structures will fill in. The exterior will just need to be sanded a bit when it heals.  
Red: and that won’t be for a while. *Secures the brace around Edges leg, needing to pack it a bit with fabric since it wasn’t made for non muscled individuals. He also secures it with straight narrow pvc pipe for extra strength.*  
Edge: This is going to be so boring!

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Rings the doorbell and steps back, loud footsteps coming to answer the door. On the other side is a female goat monster.*  
SF Toriel: Sans? I wasn’t expecting to see you so- *Notices the extra skeletons* .... are these survivors I wasn’t made aware of? Or did you two decide to increase the population? I hope you selected from not frequented graves.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Razz really hates the complicated mess universe hopping is. Because if there's an infinite number of universes.... there is probably some nasty beings out there besides judgemental better than him skeletons)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: Stay off it for the whole 72 hours. I mean it Boss.  
Edge: I can hear you just fine. And it looks awful like usual.  
Red: Yeah yeah. Just stay put. Maybe Doom will sit with ya.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Purple faintly dusting his face.* We have NOT done that my Queen. Alphys has informed me you wanted to see me? And these..... are a long story that is better told inside. This is Blue and Stretch.  
Blue: *Suuuuuper excited * Hello other Queen Toriel!  
Toriel: ..... excuse me?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Doom?  
*Edge points to underneath the television stand. On the bottom shelf he could see a single glowing eye staring at him with the intensity of a thousand angry suns.*  
Rus: DOOMFANGER!!!!! Your cat of course!  
Doom: *Hisses at being discovered.*

Swapfell:  
*Toriel has all of them seated for tea and muffins.*  
SF Toriel: so you are saying these are different versions of you?  
Razz: Yes your Majesty. From a version of our world that is all soft and fluffy.  
Blue: Why do you keep making us all sound like babies???  
SF Toriel: *Looking between Blue and Razz.* So you are my Sans.... had the world been a kinder place....

(Also,my favorite interpretation of Doomfanger dgdjnjjk)

[Best Doomfanger Link Here!](https://greenheartart.tumblr.com/post/628653733179490304/harpyrabbit-asked-for-edge-and-doomfanger-and-i%20Tumblr)

(I don’t know Fang’s official lore……)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Look at Edge’s sheer joy)  
(You ever read that one fic where Red brings home an opossum called Gloomfanger?)

Fell Fluff:  
Traps: This one seems more fierce than the other not food animal.  
Edge: Doomfanger is a model cat.  
DF: Psk! *Shambles out to claim a spot on Edge and hiss at everyone but Edge.*  
Axe: .... *Thinking about how that much fur would probably get in all the cracks of his skull.*

Swapfell:  
Blue: Among other small differences!  
Stretch: Yep. Wait till you see Comic and Rus or Red and Edge. They are from worlds with some people swapping personalities. The Sanses are lazy and the Papyruses are balls of energy.  
Slim: Most of the universes we have been in contact with have the lazy Sans thing actually .....  
Razz: *Isn’t liking the sad/pitying look his queen has.* We are similar, but not the same. Blue is the most tolerable, along with the bird monsters.  
Stretch: I like you too Short Stack.

*****  
HomeHawk12

[Link to Amino with more details.](http://aminoapps.com/p/lbo0anm)  
(Old west/steampunk Napstaton)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Oh god look at him, all properly dramatic with the mic walking stick!)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(He is a hard one, since the whole steampunk robot stuff didn’t happen till early 1900’s and trying to mix to western isn’t easy. I feel like he’s ready to be a singing ringleader or something djfjgjgi)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(He totally sings The Greatest show but in a western style)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Yes! He totally would! He talks with the old style radio voice and he would love that film. He owns The Underground’s radio station and they ONLY play country and bluegrass)  
(Hope you like those genres fghjhhhjkk)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(I actually do enjoy country)  
(Just more towards country rock, like stuff from Zac Brown Band)

<https://youtu.be/e4ujS1er1r0>

(This makes me laugh....  
Wait wrong one. My dad introduced me to them. And I can't help but laugh at them)

<https://youtu.be/aYBcqBzz-r8>

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(You’ll fit right in then lol. “Sic’em on his chicken” lol I love the guitar rift, then I listened to the lyrics and it got 20 times better jfjgjgjgkk. Country rock is pretty good, I like it more then the “Chad Country’ that’s kicked up in popularity in like mid 2000’s. My favorite will always be hard and alternative rock though (I picked a bad AU theme for that though))  
(In case you’ve never heard this one lol)

<https://youtu.be/e4Ao-iNPPUc>

Fell Fluff:  
*The eighteen pound hulking feline is NOT letting anyone take away Edge’s attention.*  
Rus: Now that you are settled with a cast and cat, I will now perform the Fell friendship obligation of nursing you back to health!  
Edge: I don’t think nursing-  
*Rus went flying around the room, propping Edge’s cast up on pillows to be elevated, forcing pillows behind his back, then finally dragging a chair over and holding Edge’s food dish with a fork. Edge tries to take it but Rus won’t give it up.*  
Edge: Very funny, now give me the food.  
Rus: But you are injured, and MUST save your energy! I must insist that you allow me to assist in feeding you!  
Edge: .....

Swapfell:  
Razz: I said BLUE! This one, on the other hand. *Jabs a finger at Stretch.* Has both a death wish, and wants to cause me as much misery as possible!  
Stretch: You know you love me.  
Razz: I know I will throw you into another death game without a second thought! I’ve seen you drinking.... why, absolutely no honey at all recently. How strange~ *Snarky.*  
Stretch: .... short stack has teeth today.  
Razz: I AM NOT SHORT YOU OVERGROWN STRING BEAN!  
Toriel: *Laughs softly at their antics.*

(Thunderstruck by Steve'n'Seagulls)  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4Ao-iNPPUc>

*****  
Bookwyrm

Zac Brown Band - Toes (Official Video)

<https://youtu.be/kD-unyd10tM>

(That was awesome not gonna lie)

*****

Bookwyrm:  
Fell Fluff:  
*Doomfanger smacks the fork out of Rus's hand. How dare that skeleton move Edge and disrupt Doom’s perfect napping spot.*

Swapfell:  
*Blue is mortified at Stretch’s behavior.*  
Blue: I am so sorry! My brother seems to be lacking in manners.  
Slim: .... Stretch, you should ... probably stop... before Razz snaps again.

(Luke Bryan - Rain Is A Good Thing)

<https://youtu.be/4VKy69sE4VY>

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Nice! Not gonna lie, these are pretty fun artist to listen too)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: Rus.... another thing about Fell monsters is they value their independence among most anything else. Taking that away from someone is a horrible offense to their character.  
Rus: Soooo...... I shouldn’t be spoon feeding you?  
Edge: Exactly.

Swapfell:  
SF Toriel: The idea of alternate universes is an intriguing one, and based on what I’ve seen so far, there are many potential benefits of dimension hopping. Finding worlds free of racism, or humans in general. Monsters could finally live free and in peace.  
Blue: Though that’s true, there are a lot of other repercussion to using it for resources....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: ..... here is the dish then.  
Doomfanger: *Gruff growls.*  
Edge: *Resumes petting.*

Swapfell:  
Razz: There’s a reason most of the universes keep this mostly secret. Don't want wars or such happening. Hard to test what might happen if you leave your universe for too long or harvest resources. So far simple visiting and minor item exchange hasn't ripped the world's apart.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Edge starts chowing down, turning the fork to Doomfanger every so often and letting him eat off of it.*  
Traps: Guys! These chocolates are adorable! *Holds up a chocolate skull on a stick.*  
Rus: I LOVE IT!!!!  
Traps: Can we make sugar skulls next!!??  
Rus: What if we paint each other like sugar skulls?!?!

Swapfell:  
SF Toriel: Blue, do you mind sharing your history with me?  
Blue: Umm, what do you mean?  
SF Toriel: Were you there Guard Captain in your world? Or perhaps Lieutenant? How did you manage your Underground?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Rus and Traps are having a happy rant about candies.*  
Axe: Rus, don't forget to eat. *Finished his a while ago.*  
Rus: Edge, while you’re on the couch, can we do a sugar skull design on you?  
Traps: Sans, I want to do it on you too.

Swapfell:  
Blue: Oh... um.... Alphys never .... really allowed me to join. She is the Captain. I never really got to see much of my queen when we were underground. But! I didn't let that stop me from helping! I made puzzles and set up my own station and helped as much as I could! I still met with Alphys for training! And I raised Papy too!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Secretly loves sugar skull designs*..... as long as you make it look badass.  
Axe: I’ll let you paint the skulls, only if the two of you eat.  
Traps and Rus: YAY!

SwapFell:  
SF Toriel: I see. I hope Alphys was a good captain.  
Blue: She was the greatest! Everyone in the Undergrund put their faith in her! And she was so good at catching kitchens on fire!  
Stretch:.... Bro, that's not something to brag about.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff;  
*Once Red is back in the room the two Papyruses tackle him into being painted.  
Red is not pleased about more sparkles.  
Axe has a whole decorative border on the hole in his skull.*

Swapfell:  
Blue: She did it well! I will always tell someone if they did a good job!  
Razz: .... so far there are six universes we have found.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: I gave Edge a curly mustache!  
Red: Heh, ya look like a simp.  
Edge: Says the clown makeup one.

Swapfell:  
SF Toriel: I see. And have any of those universes shown hostility towards others, or interest in conquering?  
Razz: Only a few others were violent, and none have any interest in invasions.  
Stretch: Honestly, Razzy here is the most volatile so far. Did you know he tried starting a Saw themed business venture with real death traps?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Never said I wasn't a fool.  
Edge: That was awful.

Swapfell:  
Toriel: Oh? That sounds interesting.  
Razz: Yes. I had heard of escape rooms and haunted houses before. I thought to try something similar. Then I had to find out which skeleton had wronged me while I was vulnerable. So in my anger I tested it out on them.  
Blue: I mean.... there was fault on both sides? It isn't healthy to do that, but I can see why he snapped a bit. Papy has a problem with leaving things alone. To be fair, they were really well done.  
Razz: Thank you.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Rus: Oh! Let's watch The Book of Life! It's all about sugar skulls!

SwapFell:  
SF Toriel: I wouldn't expect anything less from my former Guard Captain.  
Razz: *Lightly blushes at the compliment.*  
Blue: Other then how deadly they were, it was great!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: .. what movie?  
Rus: Oh goodness it’s soooo good! The animation is so pretty!

Swapfell:  
Tori: ... why wouldn't death games involve death? Yes I asked my people to not provoke the humans into war, but a death game has two requirements, death and a game.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Everyone is watching the film.*  
Red:..... I like this La Meurta lady. She's hot AND a skeleton.  
Edge: I like her hat. I kind of want her hat.

SwapFell:  
Blue: The main issue? So far only three of the six universes we’ve discovered would find ”death games” as an acceptable way to run competitions. It's taken as both hostile and extremely traumatizing. It's hard to make friends with other cultures when you kill them all.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: Shw can put me in my place anytime.  
Edge: ...... cosplay is a thing your universes do a lot, right?  
Rus: We could get the Alphys and Undynes to help!

Swapfell:  
Razz: ... I might say Axe’s universe would do it if it involved food prizes..... but that would be a little too much. Like the special Olympics of death games.  
Blue: .... Razz no.  
Razz: I just said I wouldn't!  
Toriel: So these other universes call you Razz?  
Razz: You can call me Sans still. Usually we can tell who you are referring to based on what universe you're from. Please only use it in the company of too many Sanses.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Bro the thought of Fell cosplaying as La Meurta XD I can’t it’s too good. He’s tall enough for it at least fhghgjgk)

Fell Fluff:  
Traps: That was an excellent movie!  
Edge: Have anymore suggestions?  
Rus: Hmmmmm.... Coco!

Swapfell:  
SF Tori: I must say, Razz is a very odd nickname, and not something I would have picked for you.  
Razz: I didn’t get a choice....  
Stretch: He came late to the multiverse thing so we assigned him one. Bro, mind explaining the origin.  
Razz: No-  
Blue: Absolutely!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Rus totally has a collection of skeleton theme movies)

Red: Heh. That guy is cool.  
Edge: I don't know if I like this ancestor.

*later.......*  
Edge: THAT BASTARD. HE ISN’T THE ANCESTOR AT ALL.  
Red: That’s a bastard if I know one.

Swapfell:  
Blue *Goes into the spiel. Razz is mortified.*  
SF Tori: ... so you choose a name because he was not as cheery as you? .... he has reasons to not be as full of rainbows.  
Razz: EXACTLY!  
Tori: Why wouldn't you wait and get his opinion?  
Razz: I didn't even want to deal with multiversal stuff!

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And Toriel agrees with Razz XP I was almost expecting an Alphys reaction, but I like the switch up)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: I don’t say this about many things, but that movie was beautiful.  
Edge: ..... Ghost Rider next?  
Rus: Yes!!!

Swapfell:  
Blue: He didn’t want to interact with us for several years, so we had to call him something.  
Stretch: We just never gave him the option to change it later on.  
Sf Tori: *Disappointed mom gaze.*  
Stretch: You’re really good at making me feel guilty lady....

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Sf Tori and Asgore are now protective of Razz and you can't convince me otherwise. They want to parent but realize he adult)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: Daaaaaaaaaaamn.  
Edge: Now I know why Razz likes his whips so much. I should get a chain whip.

Swapfell:  
SF Tori: Sans is the most loyal Guardsman I've ever had. I trust his judgment in holding off meeting other worlds.  
Razz: *Preening under the praise.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(The Royals are the adoptive parents he never asked for and doesn’t know he has)

Fell Fluff:  
Traps: Can we watch Nightmare Before Christmas next?  
Red: Ah, a true classic.  
Edge: I’ve never seen it the whole way through.  
Rus: WE MUST FIX THIS!!!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: *Notices how much Razz is enjoying the positive feedback. He takes it the wrong way.* So Razz, you and Toriel are pretty close, yeah?  
Razz: I am as close or distant as my Queen wishes me to be, that will never stop even after The Guard disbanded.  
Stretch: Okay, but do you WANT to be closer?  
Blue: Papy stop that!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(The ones he needs, but has no fucking idea what to do with. Stretch you let that poor baby have positive parental attention for once in his life.)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: So many skeletons with fine tastes in clothing.  
Red: We have a budget Bossx

Swapfell:  
Slim: My brother is the most loyal monster around.  
Sf Tori: I could even say The Underground would have fallen without his dedication.  
Blue: Papy, behave.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Stretch is just a glutton for punishment gvjhds)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: *Checks his messages.* Good news! Alphys and Undyne said they would love to help with costume making!  
Edge: That will give me something to do while I'm stuck at least.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Still preening, but knowing there was a reason behind the visit.* Yes, well, speaking of falling, that reminds me. Alphys mentioned you had been talking about the court case.  
Blue: How does the word “fallen” remind you of a court case?

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff  
Rus: So we should get the girls over here to take measurements.  
Edge: At least I had cleaned before all this.  
Doomfanger: Mrrreow. (IF you fucking think I'm getting up for you to get useless fabric flapped about, you have another thing coming.)

Swapfell:  
Razz: Oh, I was beaten by human police and we are having a lawsuit for the multitude of brutality cases.  
Blue: Is that why you were so adamant on getting to Slim and my brother?  
Razz: Yes. (Is trying to steer away from falling down.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: It’s okay Doomfanger. Rus or Traps can stand in for me. You don’t have to get up~  
Red, when is she coming?  
Rus: Hopefully not tonight-  
*Phone Ring.*  
Rus: Hello?  
UT Undyne: DUDE I KICKED THE DOOR IN AT YOUR HOUSE CUZ I WAS SO EXCITED FOR COSPLAY STUFF, BUT TORIEL AND SANS ARE NAKED ON THE COUCH!!!!!!

Swapfell:  
Toriel: Yes, his inclusion is currently up in the air due his his.... current condition. I do not wish to cause unneeded stress.  
Blue: Because he’s...  
Toriel: So you are aware?  
Razz: *Internally cursing for bringing it up.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
.........  
Rus: Undyne, I didn't say now! Edge can't stand right now anyway!  
Undyne: PAPS THIS IS JUST LIKE ALPHYS'S FICTION!  
Edge: Please turn off speaker phone.

Swapfell:  
Razz: I will still do the case. You don't have to worry-  
Blue: I know he has been having a rough time. Apparently my universe's social ways are a bit hard for Fell universes to handle.  
SF Tori: I can imagine it would have been hard for you to handle our world as well.  
Stretch: So, what’s wrong with Mini Munch?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Undyne: Alright I’m leaving! Also, NICE JOB BECOMING A MAN SANS-  
*Papyrus hangs up.*  
Traps: ...... anyone want more chocolate skulls?

Swapfell:  
Blue: Papy, you were there when we discussed this. It was after the death games, remember?  
Stretch: Pretty sure I was puking my ‘guts’ out in a corner.  
Slim: Pfft. *Death glare from Razz.* S-sorry.  
Razz: My health is.... failing. That’s all you need to know.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: Will it make me forget that happened?  
Traps: No.  
Edge: ..... I still want some.

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ..... uh, okay? You have doctors, right?  
SF Toriel: Stretch. It's something terminal. *Maybe thinking Stretch is an idiot now.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Well, Toriel isn’t wrong XDDD)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Munching on chocolate.* You know, Blue did give me a set of board games as a gift for my last birthday. It might be fun to try them out.  
Rus: What did he give you?  
Edge: Clue, Monopoly and Diplomacy.

Swapfell:  
Stretch: .... wait, how long have you been terminal?  
Razz: A while I’m guessing.  
Stretch: What sort of answer is that?  
Razz: ... an honest one?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Have you ever played Diplomacy?)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Traps: Monopoly would be fun.  
Red: Well.... as long as Boss stays on the couch. No table flipping.

Swapfell:  
Stretch: Why wouldn't you know???  
Razz: Denial, and I got busy with a sh- awful job. And racism problems.

(Nope)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(They call it the game that ruins friendships, at least among competitive people. Each person plays as a European country, and you have to make alliances with other player nations and pick your battles/betrays to become the supreme ruling country. These games can go on for weeks lol)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*Axe is the thimble, Rus claimed the race car before Edge could, Edge took the battleship since it was the next best thing, Traps took the dog since it looked tasty, and Red took the top hat to be dapper.*  
Axe: Imma purchase the railroad.  
Edge: You’ve purchased nothing but railroads so far. You’re going to lose.  
Axe: If I’m gonna play, then I’m gonna play how I want, and I wanna own all the railroads.  
Edge: Whatever. *Rolls dice.*

Swapfell:  
Stretch: And you’re just, letting it happen? Have you even tried seeking treatment???  
Razz: Hey! You don’t see me questioning your honey addiction!  
Stretch: Yes you do! You torched my entire bedroom over it with a flamethrower, and created a torture session around honey in your sick game!!!  
Razz: .... fair, but still screw you!

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Traps: I will own all the pink ones!  
Edge: I own a pink. What will you trade-  
Traps: I’ll trade a dark blue.  
Axe: Traps, that's not-  
Edge: DEAL.

Swapfell:  
SF Tori: From what I can tell, you seem less than friendly to my Ex-Captain, Stretch. What reason would you have to be interested in his treatment?  
Stretch: What?  
Razz: I won't be in a lab again. That's all I will say.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: Okay Red, so I want all the railroads, and you HAVE the last railroad.  
Red: That I do.  
Axe: ...... I’ll give you $200,000 for it.  
Red: Nope.  
Axe: $300,000.  
Edge: Isn’t that nearly all your money?  
Red: ..... I don’t know....  
Axe: *Slams down $10 of his last $15.*  
Red: Deal!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: I.... he can’t just leave his brother behind without trying. That isn’t fair. What happened to all your bravado? Giving up is the cowards way out.  
Razz: WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?! YOU’VE NEVER BEEN IN A LIFE OR DEATH FIGHT ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!  
*Stretch’s sockets narrow and look directly at Razz, simmering with a haunted energy that he had only seen in battle weary soldiers.*  
Stretch: Don’t assume you know anything about me..... coward.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Axe: *Sitting pretty with half the players fortunes* .... choo choo mother fuckers, railroads are awesome.  
Red: *Just handed Axe back that 300,000.* Fuck you.

Swapfell:  
Razz: ..... I am walking away so I don't dust you. May I go to another room, your Majesty?  
Sf Tori: Yes Razz, I think that would be best.  
Razz: *Goes to the kitchen.*  
Tori: *Sets her displeased gaze at Stretch.* You may be a judge, but I won't have you judging my people. He has been through more than most, and your baiting and nudging then insulting won't be tolerated. Yes, he should not have said that. Yes, he probably doesn't know what you have had to deal with. But so far all I have seen is you prodding at him until he snaps and then getting offended that he snapped.

(Momma Tori doesn't like what she has seen. To her, Stretch is being an entitled brat so far. She probably doesn't agree with Razz’s decisions, but like hell she will take this new Papyrus and other universes that she has already been told has been doing neither.)  
(She will stand with Razz because she should have been doing more of that in the first place. According to her.)

*****  
HomeHawk121  
(Choo choo motherfucker XD I actually nearly won a Monopoly game with this method, but I bowed out cuz 2am and a sick student.Cho cho trains are really the best gjfjfo)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: DAMMIT! *Has gone bankrupt.* How the hell did you win!!?!?  
Axe: As I said, trains are awesome.  
Edge: GRRRRRR!  
Red: No table flipping!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: ... so you are really okay with him giving up?  
SF Tori: My views on his decision are not what matters. Respecting Sans’s wishes and supporting him as he needs is my main concern. Taking away his choice and control is the worst thing for him.  
Stretch:.... What about you Slim? Do you really want your bro to go out like this?  
Slim: Of course not, but it’s what he wants, I can't disagree. He's already fought more in his life then most of our alternates combined.  
Blue: Papy, I know it's hard to take, but you need to let this go.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Edge: *Visibly holding back table flipping.*  
Red: ... Boss, you knew what you were getting into with Monopoly.  
Edge: I understand that Sans!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: So, you're just going to let him die?  
Slim: I dont even know the majority of what happened to him, but I do know that The Underground was tame compared to The Labs. The surface was the first chance he had at a life without fighting, and then the police shit happened. It's been.... not great.  
Blue: Razz has been through a lot, Papy.  
Stretch: So he just gets to die because he decided it's easier?  
Slim: ..... *Pulls up his sleeves to show some of the medical scars he has.* Sans has more. He was able to stop me from getting more. His tests were more than mine because of his higher HP and test objectives. We didn't get to go to school. We didn't have parents. Sans had no idea how to have a dependent, but he still looked after me as best he could. He had to fight to even earn a name. And that's just what he has told me and what I remember.  
Tori: *Looks sad at the little speech.*  
Slim: He even has been trying so hard to change for me.... how can I ask for more? Ask him to keep fighting?  
Blue: *Gently rubs Slim’s shoulder.* It’s hard I know....  
Stretch: ....... shouldn't that be reason enough to keep asking him? So he can have a better life?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Okay I decided I must share links that explain Diplomacy a bit more because imaging the Fells going completely over the top with it and turning their house into a war zone is too good. I picked short vids lol)  
<https://youtu.be/90aQUE0SPss>  
<https://youtu.be/3NRvw4-6B7c>

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Swapfell:  
Slim: ....  
Stretch: ..... welp, if you’re going to all give up on him, fine.  
Blue: Wait, where are you going Papy?  
Stretch: To think. *Steps into a shortcut and emerges near the woods out back. If he can face a genocidal Chara and the death of his friends and bro hundreds of times, surviving to finally see how good life could be when they stopped, Razz couldn’t stop before that point either.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Edge v Razz on Diplomacy. Red and Slim supporting their bros)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: Alright, I'm getting drinks. You want anything, Boss?  
Edge: A cream soda. No alcohol tonight Sans, I don't want anymore broken bones.  
Red: Yeah yeah...

Swapfell:  
Toriel: ......  
Blue: I am so sorry for his behavior. He doesn't always think about ..... things.

*Razz is doing his breathing exercises in the kitchen.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(Dude, if they dragged Razz in, the house would be on fire within a few hours fjdjfkfld)

Fell Fluff:  
Edge: So what now?  
Traps: You said you have Clue, yes?  
Red: Ahhh yeah, Colonel Custard here I come-  
Edge: If he’s military them I want him!  
Red:.... Fine. *Pulls all the female character cards out of the box.* So which lovely lady gets the privilege of being played by a Casanova like me? Mrs. White the experienced, Ms. Scarlet the sexy, or maybe.... The rich femme fatale Ms. Peacock???

Swapfell:  
*Razz looks through the kitchen window, seeing Stretch walking into woods and disappearing in the brush.*  
Razz: ..... what is he..... whatever.

SF Toriel: I... I wish Sans would seek treatment too. I’m selfish, and so used to seeing him stand up to everything that threatens himself or my honor. When he refused treatment with that reserved acceptance.... *Rubs her temples trying to fix her permanent migraine brought on by Razz, the court case and continued reports of hate crimes and under the table threats against their race for standing up for themselves.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: ... I think Mrs. White is a maid..... but Scarlet shares my color....  
Edge: Pick one.  
Traps: I want Professor Plum.  
Axe: I’ll be the green one. He looks ..... green. *Was definitely going to say.... plump.*

Swapfell:  
SF Tori: ... it was like he finally had a name or reason to how he felt and just accepted it. He has never just accepted something like this so wholly. It was concerning... he was especially fragile one day when he bled and collapsed on my porch with Asgore.  
Slim: ... oh. Is that what happened that day I had Razz try to re-meet the Fells?  
Blue: *Is just worried for everyone.*

Razz: ....... I don't care about him getting lost. ....... I don't...... Blue should watch him better if he doesn't want to lose him.

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(We are so far in an alternate timeline from where we started off from the original fic I love it) (hehehe.... Plump)

Fell Fluff:  
Red: Okay Mrs. White, with your experience in an out of the sack we’ll survive.  
Edge: Does everything you do REALLY have to be about sex? REALLY?????  
Rus: I call Ms. Scarlet then!  
Red: Wait, hold on. I change my mind.

Swap Fell:  
SF Toriel: It was on a Saturday, and he didn't want us to contact you. He didn't say what he had been doing prior either.  
Slim:.... Yeah, I-I’m pretty sure that was our failed reunion day....  
SF Toriel: I don’t wish to pry, but could you tell me how he got such a bad head wound?

Razz: *Had stopped outside the doorway to where the other three were seated. Initially he was just internally cursing Stretch for being an idiot, just starting to hear Toriel’s question.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(I‘m going through the parts where we were one upping each other as Red and Edge with past angst fjfjfjfkd. So, so much angst)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Dude I love this tbh. Half the time I think.... what would be the most humorous..... OR the most real?)

Fell Fluff:  
Rus: I’ll be Mrs White then. She knows the importance of being clean.  
Red: Oof. Ms Scarlet is a ride or die chick.  
Rus: Ready to play?

Swapfell:  
Razz: ........

Slim: We had tried a potluck and the no check rule got broken..... and Razz wasn't having it. ....... now I know it was because he didn't want me to know. He was really out of it that day. Like he was dragging himself to even get there much less socialize......  
Blue: That must have been hard.  
SF Tori: How did he get harmed?

(That’s fair, oof. I just now realize how much we've done. Damn.)

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(And it’s about to get crazier. I think it might be time to intrude a new world, and I thought of a way to do it XP)(Also I’ve been type those paragraph and sent de beak symbols so much proofing that I keep starting to type them here too)

Love Nest:  
*Toriel and Comic wake up after a few hours of spooning and are ready for another round. They only have undergarments on. Comic fishes out Rus’s good wine.*  
Toriel: This is expensive.  
Comic: Rus got it as a gift. I’ll make it up to him later.  
Toriel: A drink this amazing deserves to be drunk over a toast.  
Comic: To punning?  
Toriel: *Pours two glasses and passes one to Comic.* To us, a friendship started over puns through an ancient door, developing into something MUCH more.  
Comic: That was beautiful babe.  
Toriel: Cheers then. *The two clank glasses together, both going in for a swig.* So, if a goat monster and skeleton monster have a baby, what do you think it would look like?  
Comic: *Freaks at the question, accidentally dropping the glass, spilling its contents all over Toriel’s dress and Comic’s Jacket, which lay abandoned on the floor.*  
Toriel: oh dear, this red wine will be hard to get out.  
Comic: Washing machine is downstairs. We can throw the cloths in and maybe.... move on from this conversation.  
Toriel: Oh, moving our games to a new setting~

Swapfell:  
Slim: He and Red.... his lazy alternate from the other violent world, got into a verbal fight. I-I knew Red didn’t like him at all back then, and Razz felt similarly, but they promised they would try.... then fist were thrown and my bro limped away and drove off... I was really scared that he crashed or something....  
Razz: ........

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Holy shit a baby scare ..... sans you used a fake bone. There shouldn't be a goat baby bones. ..........unless?)

Love Nest:  
Toriel: *Nuzzles Comic* .... I hope you know how I feel about you now.  
Comic: *HOLY SHIT HOW DO FLESHIES MAKE BABIES DID I JUST ACCIDENTALLY DO SOMETHING???* Heh, yeah?

Swapfell:  
SF Toriel: ..... oh. He didn't keep fighting?  
Slim: ..... I .... had been living with them to try and establish some new boundaries and things....  
Razz: *Rubs his arm*..........

(Bro I was looking up Soriel child and someone came up with something adorable. Those stupid bone horns I can’t djdnfk)

[Link to Katelynntheg’s original Deviantart page!](https://www.deviantart.com/katelynntheg/art/YAT-the-soriel-son-620973396)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
(Omg and a satyr is a half goat too. It’s perfect!)

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
Red: ..... it was you all along you innocent looking bag of BONES!  
Rus: I WOULD NEVER AND YOU CAN’T PROVE IT.

Swapfell:  
Blue: ... Slim, it was good to get space to restructure your relationship.  
Slim: ...... it kinda feels like I just left him now....  
Toriel: .... you two separated?

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Fell Fluff:  
*A long rant of Red explaining Why Rus is guilty.*  
Red: While we were all distracted by the dead cop in the entry hall, YA snuck through the secret passageway and choked the victim out with the rope. And why? Because ya were trying to hide your love affair with Professor Plum! And ya only knew of two people that knew your dirty secret. Professor Plum, and our victim!  
Axe: ..... Well shit. I thought I knew ya bro.  
Traps: I would never!

SwapFell:  
(Toriel knew Razz lived alone for the last few years, just not why.)

Slim: Y-Yeah.... Ever since finding our alternates, it made up both rethink out relationship, and my intelligence... I was getting bitter about how I was talked to, and Razz just seemed jealous and angry....  
Razz: *Clutching his forehead wanting to disappear.*  
Blue: You’re fight started... because of us?  
Slim: .... things had always been rough before.... I just took the yelling and outburst because I thought I deserved it.... then we met you guys.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Fell Fluff:  
*Red is really getting into the narrative now.*  
Red: I KNEW MAIDS WERE CRAFTY BITCHES! THEY ARE ALL SNEAKY, AND WHO KNOWS IF THEY ARE ACTUAL MAIDS OR SEXY MAIDS OR SPY MAIDS! YA CAN NEVER EVER TELL!

Swapfell:  
Blue: .... I know I don't understand your Underground... but I do think he loves you. It doesn't excuse the behaviors........  
Slim: It was a really big fight, and I went to live with the Fell brothers. I would visit sometimes, maybe once a month or so. I could see he was trying to change.

Razz: ..............*knows he should stop listening.... say he is there... something..... but he doesn't feel like he can move from that spot. Like he deserves to hear this.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Love Nest:  
*Toriel throws the clothes in the wash, noticing the washing machine, and it has a keyboard on it that would provide a.... better position for what she wanted to try next. She throws Sans against the machine.*

Fell Fluff:  
*Edge, getting equally into Red’s crazy narrative.*  
Edge: Alright, but Mrs. White is elderly, how would she have gotten around everyone quickly enough to perform the crime?  
Red: Because Mrs. White isn’t a NORMAL maid. SHE’S A POLE DANCING DOMINATRIX! She has been for decades, and it's kept up her physical abilities in top shape!

Swap Fell:  
Slim: ..... I shouldn’t be talking about this. This isn’t anyone else’s problem-  
Toriel: Please. I can tell you need to get this off your chest. I think it may help you emotionally.  
Slim: ..... W-we just started getting along again.... I don’t want it to end like this... it was just getting better again.... *Stands and walks to a corner trying to hide his tears. He was finally processing that this was really going to be it. Razz would be gone soon.*  
Razz: ...... *He decides to retreat into the woods to think.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Love Nest:  
*Comic would have a washing machine with a keyboard. Types in "spin cycle" to turn it on.*  
Toriel: ...... if I hold you on the washing machine.... would all of you vibrate?  
Comic: Uh....  
Toriel: Let’s find out~!

Fell Fluff:  
Red: THE OUTFIT IS JUST HER UNIFROM WITH TWEAKS TO LOOK THE MAID PART!  
Edge: .... but Professor Plum? .... really?  
Red: The perfect masochist to her sadist!

Swapfell:  
Stretch: *Was smoking when he sees Razz walk up to a tree and dig his claws in.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
Love Nest:  
*Toriel waits for the spin cycle to start, pushing Comic onto it. His bones are jangling together making loud clanking noises.*  
Comic: W-w-w-o-o-a-a-a-h-H-H!!!  
*Toriel is having a great time.*

SwapFell:  
Razz: *Digs his claws in until his grip starts ripping chunks out of the tree. He takes his claws and starts slashing repeatedly in frustration.*  
Stretch: *Watches for a moment, not interested in getting diced.*

Fell Fluff:  
Axe: ..... God, if only Stretch was here.

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Love Nest:  
Comic: T-to-o-ri-i i-i c-an-nt th-th-in-k. *Is starting to rattle apart.*  
Tori: Oh gosh, this isn't how I want to make you fall apart!

Fell Fluff:  
Traps: Brother, that would have killed him.  
Axe: .... yeah.  
Red: WE ARE PLAYING AGAIN!  
Rus: Ok...ok.

Swapfell:  
Razz: ......*Huff* ..... *Feels better after shredding some of the bark off the tree. It looks like a bear went to town on the tree.*

*****  
HomeHawk12  
(UF Toriel making sex jokes and Red is SOOOO into it XD)

Love Nest:  
*Toriel pulls Comic off the washer, only for him to lose control of everything below the lumbar spine, all of the bones falling to the floor uselessly.*  
Toriel: Oh my goodness! Sans speak to me!!!  
Comic: *Dopy grin and light blue blush all over his cheeks.* Heh... heheheh.... I was supposed ta show ya the way to the bone yard, but it looks like ya took me there first.  
Toriel: Pfft- I-I mean stop joking and help me put you back together!

Fell Fluff:  
Axe: Sorry pal. Please continue with your explanation.  
Red: Good, now listen up cuz this is important!!! A popular tool among sadist in sexual settings, one of the kinkiest ones you can go for, is a whip! Mrs. White is a BDSM whip master, and used her flawless skills to wrestle the victim around the neck, they were powerless to stop her kinky murder tactics! THAT’S why she did it with the rope!  
Edge: ..... you really thought this out. I’m almost impressed.

Swapfell:  
Razz: *Took a seat on the ground trying to catch his breath, staring up at the one thing he currently felt in control of, the life of this damn tree.*  
Stretch: ..... *Stands up and walks closer, stopping about four feet away and plopping down by another tree. He fishes out his cigarette pack, offering one to Razz. A peace offering.*

*****  
Bookwyrm  
Love Nest:  
Comic: I-I....juuuust gimme a minute....I'll pull myself together.  
Toriel: Sans! *Pffft.* I'm being serious.  
Comic: Hi serious, I'm Sans.... and Comic.

Fell Fluff:  
Red: She was so good her signature WAS a rope whip and bondage. She was very good at what she did. Even has booked appointments for months ahead.  
Edge: .... Sans. Why? Just why?

Swapfell:  
Razz: ..... fuck it. *Accepts a cig* ......... this tree is in an awful spot. Could be a problem come one of those damn lightning storms the surface gets. Or one of the tornado things.  
Stretch: ........  
Razz: ....... it’s a crabapple tree. It will be shit to clean up anyway, and I can help Asgore with a new tree. A better one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sater is one of the cutest spinoffs omg. it is NOT truly canon to this alt timeline just a good bit of fun.


End file.
